She: I can't open the Jar.

He: Download and install Java First.

git commit -m "Batman! (this commit has no parents)"

I'll show myself out.

Well, that was quick 😅

Enough of Linux stickers! Here are some stickers of products which I barely recognize half and use none at work 😅

This is a pretty good ad.

Using Vim, all C++ programs start with:
nclude<iostream>

But but.. MacBook Pro 😬😏

This almost killed me...

Internet streaming website be like:

Oh no, you can't right click and save the video file on your computer!

*f12* *ctrl+f* *<video* *right click* *open in new tab* *right click* *save as*

git commit -a -m 'added new files'
git status

-.-

git add .
git commit -a -m 'added new files'

Windows FUCK you, you had one job, one fucking job to update it and you ruined it.
I trusted you even though everybody said don't.
I didnt remove you i dual booted you when everybody said FUCK windows.
I had my data.
I had games.
And you FUCKING ruined it.
And listen:

FUCK WINDOWS. I am switching to linux!

Asked designer to send files for app. He sent images through whatsapp.

Never question the management. They don’t know the answer either.

Teacher : Explain two parallel lines.

Me : Lines that never intersect

Teacher : Good. Can u explain it with an example.

Me : Me and my crush.

*Whole class laughing, still don't have a clue what I said wrong. That's as real as it fucking gets.*

Fucking education system. No real world examples.

A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.

It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.

Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).

So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...

So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.

We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!

I am the reference. Like a Boss :)

No words.

Another dev on my team just got a new machine. Before he came in today I made two separate USB installers and left him these notes.

CAPS LOCK – Preventing Login Since 1980.

This is so mean

It's a bold move 😂😂

A legend

Every time someone solves a problem that I can’t solve....

Happens all too often

What language is "Social life"? It sounds very tedious🤔

npm install .....

When you make building apps too easy for non-devs.

This is my social and Dev life ;(

Of course they want all my privacy for themselves..

Dev and Social balance?!?

There is no balance it is one and the same. If you need balance between them it means they exclude each other.

Dev is sociable to an extreme. In which other field do you see hundreds of random people collaborating as if they were friends for decades?