So I am really happy/frustrated right now.

I successfully booted into Arch Linux

Bluetooth headphones sound like I am talking on a phone.

I’ve been programming with other languages than Python for so long that when I finally had to pick up Python to help teach my friend some python I felt like I was rediscovering a past life.

With Python I feel like King Fucking Arthur with the Holy Blade Excalibur, armored up and ready for fucking war.
When I’m writing a script I feel like I’m parrying and piercing my blade straight through that fuckers chest and slam them into the fucking ground. And leave their bleeding out cold dying body on the fucking ground with no hope in their eyes.

Although when an indentation error occurs I feel like I just fucking tripped over a fucking pebble and apparently stairs were nearby and I bash my head on all 1024 steps, get to the bottom to just to get some fucking Java Chad punt my fucking head like a fucking football screaming random reasons to not use python.

So my mom told me I should stop playing games...

....When she literally saw me flashing OpenWrt in a Linksys router...

chotto matte nani sore

Yesterday, I came to the office a little late and found there's no coffee, so I set myself to make some. After making it, some of my coworkers told me that the boss wants us to use less coffee powder when making coffee and has gone as far as specifying the amount for a full pot. I think in the US, they drink coffee-flavored water because that's what it looks and tastes now. So I guess it's either no coffee for me or to buy my own coffee powder as my coworkers don't want to protest over this.

Manager on the meeting room suddenly talking to me:
Coffe2Code, share your screen please to show us the progress.

Me: *minifies all windows fastly and plugs the laptop to the big screen *

Manager : we start with documentation, open the world file that you sent to me.

Me: *opens word*
Word: *freezing on my CV that I was editing for another job application*

Me: ...
Manager: ...

Word: oh everyone seen the CV? cool here your document

My team lead is off this week and I was selected to be the "acting team lead". So far I have attended 73648283 meetings. Please pray for me!

Ironically, some of the worst websites I've come across are one's based around development.

I finally gave in into the peer pressure and made myself a Twitter account.

WHAT A FUCKING SHIT SITE.

When registering the only thing I provided was my email and username. Nothing more.

One day later when visiting Twitter I get a big ass pop-up that briefly tells me my account is locked for 'unusual behavior', 'suspicious activity' and 'not following of Twitter's rules'.

I want to remind you that my account was barely one day old, and had no activity whatsoever.

So if getting your account locked for no single reason isn't bad enough. The only and ONLY way to unlock my account was TO PROVIDE MY FUCKING PHONE NUMBER. No other single way to unlock my account.

YOU WANT MY PERSONAL DATA SO BADLY?

On top of that I didn't receive a single email from them for this 'suspicious activity' or 'breaking of Twitter's rules'.

THIS IS SCAREWARE. Lying to people in order to get more personal data. My account was perfectly fine. And without providing your phone number you can't even delete your account.

GO FUCK YOURSELF FUCKING ASSHOLES WITH YOUR ASSHOLE DESIGN

FUCKING SHITSITE

Fuck this Kibana shit and give me back my old grep (or even better: ripgrep). In 2008, I used to find shit in my fucking logfiles. Now I have an ELK stack that smells like liquid shit.

My current one, not Dev related but still...

Walked into my interview with a full head of hair and man bun with a big bushy beard.

Started the day after I shaved off everything for a charity thing, my manager went 3 days without realising who I was and just rolled with me being there .-.

fancy coding standards

My new mobile development teacher just admitted he has never learnt git or any other VCS, I asked him what he does when shit happens and he just said,

"I just have a folder for each version backed up to Google Drive"

This is the guy that's teaching us? Surely as a teacher you should be setting a proper example and using good practises....?

Coworker wrote a nice package and put it on Github, to share with other departments.

I link his package on our company Slack, mentioning a team, with text "What do you think of this one? Is it usable for you guys?"

Next thing I know I have to explain to an executive why I'm "posting pictures of seductive cartoon girls in company chat with disrespectful commentary"

It linked the Github profile picture of the developer in Slack. A fully clothed anime girl, nothing particularly lewd about it.

But I like stabbing back a bit, and confusing the fuck out of people in suits:

"Hate to say it, but a good majority of all the code the company runs on, is written by people known as weebs, who use their so called waifus as their GitHub profile picture. It is very common for open source Javascript packages, but since we recruited 50 extra devs it now also happens internally. It's not my thing either sir, but I'm afraid we have to embrace it... "

"But what about our female devs? What about Joanna, she's in your team? We have to think of diversity! Our investors are really in to diversity, we can't have a bro culture!"

"Sir, with all due respect, we have super diverse teams without even trying. The problem is... they're all millennials. They grew up on weird memes... and are probably ten steps further in embracing diversity compared to the rest of the company."

"Also, Joanna is the one who drew this particular picture. She's charging a €15 commission for profile pictures... Do you want one of your fursona, sir?"

"What is that?"

"Uh... nevermind. Let's... let's not go there"

Found this on instagram. 😂

One day I am going to open a bar called 'foo'