This code review gave me eye cancer.

So, first of all, let me apologize to anyone impacted by eye cancer, if that really is a thing... because that sounds absolutely horrible. But, believe me, this code was absolutely horrible, too.

I was asked to code review another team's script. I don't like reviewing code from other teams, as I'm pretty "intense" and a nit-picker -- my own team knows and expects this, but I tend to really piss off other people who don't expect my level of input on "what I really think" about their code...

So, I get this script to review. It's over 200 lines of bash (so right away, it's fair game for a boilerplate "this should be re-written in python" or similar reply)... but I dive in to see what they sent.

My eyes.

My eyes.

MY EYES.

So, I certainly cannot violate IP rules and post any of the actual code here (be thankful - be very thankful), but let me just say, I think it may be the worst code I've ever seen. And I've been coding and code-reviewing for upwards of 30 years now. And I've seen a LOT of bad code...

I imagine the author of this script was a rebellious teenager who found the google shell scripting style guide and screamed "YOU'RE NOT MY REAL DAD!" at it and then set out to flagrantly violate every single rule and suggestion in the most dramatic ways possible.

Then they found every other style guide they could, and violated all THOSE rules, too. Just because they were there.

Within the same script... within the SAME CODE BLOCK... 2-space indentation... 4-space indentation... 8-space indentation... TAB indentation... and (just to be complete) NO indentation (entire blocks of code within another function of conditional block, all left-justified, no indentation at all).

lowercase variable/function names, UPPERCASE names, underscore_separated_names, CamelCase names, and every permutation of those as well.

Comments? Not a single one to be found, aside from a 4-line stanza at the top, containing a brief description of that the script did and (to their shame), the name of the author. There were, however, ENTIRE BLOCKS of code commented out.

[ In the examples below, I've replaced indentation spacing with '-', as I couldn't get devrant to format the indentation in a way to suitably share my pain otherwise... ]

Within just a few lines of one another, functions defined as...

function somefunction {
----stuff
}

Another_Function() {
------------stuff
}

There were conditionals blocks in various forms, indentation be damned...

if [ ... ]; then
--stuff
fi

if [ ... ]
--then
----some_stuff
fi

if [ ... ]
then
----something
something_else
--another_thing
fi

And brilliantly un-reachable code blocks, like:

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]; then
--SOME_VAR="blah"
fi

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]
----then
----SOME_VAR="foo"
fi

if [ -z "$SOME_VAR" ]
--then
--echo "SOME_VAR must be set"
fi

Do you remember the classic "demo" programs people used to distribute (like back in the 90s) -- where the program had no real purpose other than to demonstrate various graphics, just for the sake of demonstrating graphics techniques? Or some of those really bad photo slideshows, were the person making the slideshow used EVERY transition possible (slide, wipe, cross-fade, shapes, spins, on and on)? All just for the sake of "showing off" what they could do with the software? I honestly felt like I was looking at some kind of perverse shell-script demo, where the author was trying to use every possible style or obscure syntax possible, just to do it.

But this was PRODUCTION CODE.

There was absolutely no consistency, even within 1-2 adjacent lines. There is no way to maintain this. It's nearly impossible even understand what it's trying to do. It was just pure insanity. Lines and lines of insanity.

I picture the author of this code as some sort of hybrid hipster-artist-goth-mental-patient, chain-smoking clove cigarettes in their office, flinging their own poo at their monitor, frothing at the mouth and screaming "I CODE MY TRUTH! THIS CODE IS MY ART! IT WILL NOT CONFORM TO YOUR WORLDLY STANDARDS!"

I gave up after the first 100 lines.

Gave up.

I washed my eyes out with bleach.

Then I contacted my HR hotline to see if our medical insurance covers eye cancer.

5+7=12

> Customer calls
Her: I have over 5k 404 request to [insertwebsite]/autodiscover/autodiscover.xml
Me: Sound like a missconfigured exchangeserver/client. Let me have a look.
> Takes a look and can confirm the IP and the owner of that IP
Me: It looks like someone/something from xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx is failing to resolve autodiscover.[insertdomain].com
and defaults to @ record on the zone. Do you happend to know to whom that IP belongs?
Her: No, and I dont care, just block it. I do not like the 404 that shows up on the summary.
Me: Alright
> Blocks the IP in the firewall.

>>> Fast forward to next day >>>

> Someone calls, it is the same girl
Her: I cant reach my website! Infact, I cant reach anything! WHYYYYYY!!!
> I remember, blocking that IP yesterday...
Me: Oh, can you please visist "minip.se" (whatismyip.com, swedish version) and tell me what you see?
Her: Yes, it is xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx
Me: Do you remember that IP that you request that I block yesterday?
> I can hear the shame coming from the phone.
> Turn out that her collegues did'nt have any mail delivered to them from the time I blocked their IP
> Her boss is really mad
> Atleast she had a cute voice

Just finished the feature wall in my study. Components date back to when I first started building my own computer in 2009. It seemed like a shame to throw out such pretty things after they'd spent their life hidden inside a PC case.

What do you think?

There is no shame in using google to program.

'Back in the day' we had phonebook sized books of documentation on our desks we would reference constantly.

Why?

No one is going to memorize a phone book sized book. Not to mention three or four of them.

Being a good dev is about creativity, not memorization.

Fuck this shit.

C# exams this week (on Mac..) and it says in the rules "to improve the comfort of the students it is allowed to bring your own equipment and set up your own environment" well that's great.

What a fucking shame these idiots see "your own equipment and environment" as peripherals ONLY. Bringing your own laptop is not allowed. Installing software you want to use is not allowed.

But hey, I'm allowed to bring my own chair.

This isn't really a hacking story but it does remind me of something I did as "revenge."

In middle school, this one fool kept bullying me. Always tried to harm me, always tried to insult me, always tried to make me fall during PE.

I hated him a lot, so instead of trying to kill him as planned, I did a harmless little keylogger prank thing.

I installed a keylogger on the school's laptop before class. (I did it during break, and when class started, I placed it on his desk.)

He took the bait, and instead of doing work, he logged onto his social media accounts. Now I had his passwords and everything.

When I went home, I logged onto his social media. I checked his messages so I can get some dirt on him, didn't find much except for the fact he snuck out a few times, and smoked before.

I changed his profile picture to some cringy anime thing and messaged one of his friends (the one who always copied my test answers in History and would steal my homework) and I said, "tell --- that if he doesn't stop being an asshole, I'll do worse than "hack" his social media."

It freaked them both out a bit, but didn't change their behavior, which is a shame because my threat was empty. It's not like I was able to do anything more than that in middle school. To this day, they still have no idea who did that.

This was about 4 years ago.

A contractor at my old job was doing a development role and was constantly annoyed and the idiotic design decisions going into the website backend we were developing 🙄😒

When he decided enough was enough he could have easily written a really snarky email but instead he wrote the most sincere and professional email to his boss and the director thanking them profusely for the opportunity and hopes he would be welcome for future work with the business....👍

He was a really good Dev and the email made the bosses super happy thanking him so much and how much of a shame it was he was going....😍

He bcc'd me on the mail and when he handed his computer in he told me to open the email and highlight in full....👌

At the end of every line in white text was 'Go Fuck yourself' or 'Zero fucks given'

The bosses never realised... And I know he's been back there about 4 months now..... But shhh 😭

During teacher office hours a few years back: if you have questions on your homework, maybe it's too hard and you should switch majors to something easier, many girls do, so there's no shame in it.

I had asked for verification that my standard deviation logic was correct before spending the time coding it and then figuring out what was wrong.

Ps- he's no longer employed by the school for other sexist reasons.

My birthday is coming up on the 13th so I'll be 17 soon, but it's a shame. I like being 16...

Anyway... I'm going to spend the entire day working on my python script because I know no one will come.

For 5-6 years no one came to my birthday even though they said they would.

It's fine. I stopped caring, besides, I get to spend the day with variables and loops! It'll be a fun day, not to mention I'll be home alone so no one will bother me.

Useless but interesting fact: I got lucky. I was born ONE MINUTE before Valentine's day. At 11:59 I would be so upset if I was born on the 14th.

2016 and I'm still having a dual core and 3gb of RAM on my computer.

I was just starting to lean coding, and had just about learned what the inspector does...

So in a drunken fury I decided I would make a FaceBook/Google hybrid.

So I opened up old trusted chrome, went to Google and hit F12 like the madman I was. Copied everything into my shiny notepad++, went to Facebook and appended my file with their code..

Infuriated that it didn't work I made an SO account and started asking questions. (I have since removed said account out of shame)

I'm not a very clever drunk.. (note I was about 20 by then and should've known better even drunk 😂)

There comes a moment in every coders life where he must prove his programming chops by solving an arbitrary problem for one of their random relatives. If they fail, they have brought shame to their family name. But if they succeed, there is no greater glory.

Random Uncle: "Hey my wifi isn't working. Can you fix it?"
Me: Restarts laptop. Wifi works.
Uncle: "Wow nice job!"

Indeed. There is no greater glory.

Qualification != proficiency

Worked at a company where this bloke (Jepediah mcShitFart we shall call him) had enough programming certs and qualifications to fill a page.

I was the one fixing his fuck ups, because he coded like his ass, debugged like his ass, talked like an ass, and used to shrug off responsibility like an ass. Hr did nothing because he 'was a long time employee'.

Plus, I have met hundreds of programmers who would put many to shame, and they don't have a single qualification.

Oh teh noes! I best 'repaire' my phone as the battery is severely damaged! Who the hell even does this crap. Shame on them. Like how they used the Android alert UI when they can clearly detect that I'm using an iPhone.

Advice for programmers:
"Don't reinvent the wheel: it might turn out to be square!"

Argh!
I just realized that I committed and ran a migration with a typo in a column name.

We now have a :last_polll_capture_at column. 😭

Time for a commit of shame...

This rant means YOU if you are one of those people that "fix" their family's computers.

I was visiting my family over the holidays and while I managed to stay away from fixing their computers for the most time, I offered to help my grandfather to update the Garmin navigation device he wanted to gift my father. (They do not use smartphones for navigation, and my father doesn't want "these modern shitty phones".)

When booting up my grandfather's laptop, I realized something odd: Linux Mint boot screen. Wut?

And immediately I said: "It could be impossible to update your navigation device on this laptop."

As true enough, the Garmin Express update software requires either a Windows PC or a Mac; and even though I vaguely hoped it might be possible to upgrade through Linux, I just could not be bothered to find out that day.

What I wondered though is why did my grandfather of all people ran Linux!?

Don't get me wrong, I use Linux myself on my work machine and I never want to work with something else when coding; yet my grandfather is an end user of the show-me-where-and-what-and-how-often-to-click-kind.

What could he gain by it?

As it turns out, the computer nerd's friend of my uncle managed his PC. And my uncle and he decided unanimously my grandfather should better run Linux. Is it something my grandfather needs? No. BUT IT'S RIGHT! Suck it up! (My father's laptop therefore also runs Linux Mint. So he can't upgrade his new device either.)

This is the ugly kind of entitled nerd-dom I truly detest.

When discussing things further, my grandfather told me that he had problems ever since with his printer. Under Windows, he knew how to print on the special photo paper. Under Linux, all he can barely manage is to print on normal papers. Shame, printing photos was the only thing he liked doing on that device. What did my uncle's friend tell him?

"Get a decent printer!"

Fuck that guy.

It's fine if Linux works for you, but before you install it on a PC of a relative, you better make sure it fits their needs! If you have that odd member that only wants to write letters, read emails, use facebook, and wants to play that browser game, feel free to introduce them to Linux.

Yet if they have any special wish, don't stand in their way.

If they want to do something that requires a certain OS, don't just decide for them that their desire is wrong, but help them achieve their goal. If you can't align that with your ideology, then get the fuck out of my way and stop "helping".

For some people, a computer is a device to achieve a certain goal, a work. They only get hindered by your ill-advised attempts at virtue signalling.

Show your programming knowledge! Using the images on the left, click or tap on the one that represents the 'increment operator'

Definitely Nextcloud. Now I don't have to use proprietary software like Google drive and Dropbox anymore.

It's a shame I found out about it last week. I wish I found it sooner.

A while ago the company I'm working for had this independent designer on contract so I was assigned to set up his workstation. Brand new pc dual monitor Photoshop license gaming keyboard and mouse cause "the lights kept him focused". We're talking about a 2000€+ machine and tools. I don't know exactly what that wanted him to do as I didn't ask. Who cares. The best part is below.

So I set up his things and all and make him a shortcut to the file server on his desktop. I then proceed to explain to him that this server has the files of every dpt in the company and told him where he could find his.
His only response was when he asked "how about my internet access?"
Me: everything except some "very certain sites"
He: Eeeehh well I kinda need those. Just give me access, I won't tell anyone.
Me: Sorry sir, I cannot do that company policy.
He: I'm telling you I need the access, I'm not kidding.
Me: Ok sir, if you really need it, open a ticket to the admin and if you explain your reasons I'm sure you will come to an agreement.
He: That's bullshit kid, if you won't do it I'm gonna report you for denial of service and do it myself.
Me just nodding and walking away: You do that sir.

So ofc I went and informed the admin that this guy might pull something.

Soon enough, a few weeks later the admin calls me over to his desk and points at the screen trying not to burst in laughter.
The guy (designer) brought an HDD and filled his folder on the server with porn. We're talking about 200gb or something.
When confronted he said something about severe anxiety and that porn was his way of calming down. Some guys told me my name came up in the VPs office but after the "evidence" nothing really happened except his contract getting terminated.

I think we learned something that day. Don't jerk off in the office guys :)

Hashedram's compilations #1
List of most annoying website designs.

1) Pages with AUTO PLAYING VIDEOS.

Yes I'm looking at you Netflix. Along with every news website known to man. I'm looking to read a fucking article, so why would you even waste your money and bandwidth trying to shove a video of some shit I don't care about in my face, and make it follow me as I scroll down like a fucking insecure puppy. Also, fuck you Instagram.

2) Pages that redirect once immediately after you visit them, thereby fucking with the browser history and the BACK BUTTON just leads back to the same fucking site.

I mean, just why. Did you think I would just go "Hey the back button doesn't work so let's stay on the site and read their awesome content"?

3) Sites showing things in a SLIDESHOW, when it actually should be in a list.

Slideshows are for progressive stories or for showing lists where you don't care about what's in them. Top 10 foods that reduce weight. Slideshow 1/15. Fuck you.

4) LOOKS LIKE YOU'RE USING AN AD BLOCKER

Yes. Yes I am. No I will not turn it off for you, you narcissistic snowflake fuck. And don't even try to guilt shame me into turning it off, because I know you're just going to bombard me with videos of sexy singles in the area if I do.

5) Pages where I see the first 3 lines of an article and have to SUBSCRIBE to see more.

Yes. Brilliant fucking idea. A user wants to see what your site has to offer, so within the first three seconds, don't show him exactly that.

6) Looking up an article and having to read through the entire motivational life story of the author.

I just want to know how to boil eggs, not read about your journey across Africa learning how to make difference recepies using boiled rhino dung.

7) CLICK BAIT.

Title: School boy designs blockchain machine learning game engine

Actual Content: Tic tac toe program made using linked lists

Every time I look at my old code, I just feel so much shame.

It's a shame that Adobe doesn't support Linux for their creative suit. I know lots of artists and designers that don't use Linux regularly because of this, since Photoshop and illustrator are the de facto tools for their work. Adobe xd seems to be awesome, but I can't use on my pc due the lack of support -.-

So this is my first game I've ever created. I was 10 back then:

One Thursday noon,
operation manager: (looking at mobile)what the.....something is wrong i am getting bunch of emails about orders getting confirmed.
Colleague dev: (checks the main email where it gets all email sent/received) holy shit all of our clients getting confirmation email for orders which were already cancelled/incomplete.
Me: imediately contacting bluehost support, asking them to down the server so just that we can stopp it, 600+ emails were already sent and people keep getting it.
*calls head of IT* telling the situation because he's not in the office atm.

CEO: wtf is happening with my business, is it a hacker?

*so we have a intrusion somebody messed the site with a script or something*

All of us(dev) sits on the code finding the vulnerabilities , trying to track the issue that how somebody was able to do that.

*After an hour*

So we have gone through almost easch function written in the code which could possibly cause that but unable to find anything which could break it.

Head asking op when did you started getting it actually?
Op: right after 12 pm.

*an other hour passes*

Head: (checking the logs) so right after the last commit, site got updated too?. And....and.....wtf what da hell who wrote this shit in last commit?
* this fuckin query is missing damn where clause* 🤬

Me: me 😰

*long pause, everyone looking at me and i couldn't look at anyone*
The shame and me that how can i do that.

Head: so its you not any intrudor 😡
Further investigating, what the holy mother of #_/&;=568 why cronjob doesn't check how old the order is. Why why why.

(So basically this happened, because of that query all cancelled/incomplete orders got updated damage done already, helping it the cronjob running on all of them sending clients email and with that function some other values got updated too, inshort the whole db is fucked up.)
and now they know who did it as well.

*Head after some time cooling down, asked me the solution for the mess i create*

Me: i took backup just couple of days before i can restore that with a script and can do manual stuff for the recent 2 days. ( operation manager was already calling people and apologising from our side )

Head: okay do it now.

Me: *in panic* wrote a script to restore the records ( checking what i wrote 100000000 times now ), ran...tested...all working...restored the data.
after that wrote an apology email, because of me staff had to work alot and it becomes so hectic just because of me.

* at the end of the day CEO, head, staff accepted apology and asked me to be careful next time, so it actually teached me a lesson and i always always try to be more careful now especially with quries. People are really good here so that's how it goes* 🙂

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me a thousand times, you must be the writer of the JSwing-dokumentation

Shame me into coming back, why don't you?

Damn, devRant. No chill.

Today was one of those days where I really didn't feel like fussing about work, so I:

- Didn't shave,
- Didn't groom my hair as good as I should have
- Traipsed in the office over an hour late with a newspaper in one hand, a fried pastry in the other and not wearing my ID badge (strict security rules regarding that last bit).

I waltzed into the lobby thinking "I don't even care I'm this late. I'm sure that department meeting hasn't even started yet. Today they have to deal with me on my terms!" I took a greedy chomp of my greasy breakfast.

Just as I bent the corner in lobby, with my lips and fingers greasy and mouth full, I come face to face with none other than the two top executives at our company.

I thought I didn't care; that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach determined that was a lie.

The moment when @dfox stars this repo.....

Hmmmmm 🤔🤔🤔

I hate Microsoft products.
but
VSCode is good.....

*hating myself*

I'm sitting down with some people, and one girl starts ranting about smartphones and how they invade privacy, giving snapchat map (or whatever it's called) as an example.

So I'm like: You know you agree to all of the permissions an app asks for right? I remember when we developed Android apps pre-lollipop you gave us access on install.Now you get this big ass dialog saying "this app wants access to your location", so stop whining.

Her: wait you're one of these developers who develop such apps? Shame on you, human crap!

🤦‍♂️

Expected penguins, today... shame!

Online course with ASP.NET 4.

Professor is a loser, convincing students into using shitty 2010 software which will not install and is no longer supported.

>> Sends mass email explaining how to use VS2017

Met with praise. Fuck outdated teachers and technology, truly a shame.

When your primary Android app (with over 1/2 million total downloads) gets banned...

And all the email says is read these [links to] policies!

Back story: this happened to me back in 2011, no matter what I did there was no way to get in touch with a human at Google, I sure hope this process has gotten better! Having my app suspended with no way to fix and get it back is ridiculous!! This could ruin a business.

Over two years later, on a Google+ hangout with Google Android devs out of the Google London office, I said to them how silly it is that this happened....one of them asked me for the app ID, I provided, he looked it up in a system which then had a reference code which then related to SEO violation....wow I finally found the answer, how silly that an SEO violation (too many keywords in the app description) can get your app permanently suspended. What a shame. I wouldn't wish this on any solo developer trying to self learn and make something...

Sometimes I really just have to say "Fuck you, Google" out loud a few times.

Am I the only developer here that is too lazy to design and code out my own website? Instead, I just purchase a theme and install in on a wordpress.

It feels like i brought dishonour to my family.

Shame on every developer who ever wrote a blog post about a complex topic that included only trivial examples!

Dad handed over this beast to me
Casio PB-100
RAM: 1KB
ROM: 10KB
CPU: 455KHz
Display: 12 characters Monochrome

It's hard to believe that someone used this to code back in those days. Suppose to have been one of the first personal handheld computers. And people here complain about having 32gb RAM with 8 cores shame on you all

Who in the world has billions of icons like that....... Shame

WHAT THE HELL??

It's been over TWO WEEKS now and my Arch sticker pack still has NOT arrived!!!

I'm really starting to get mad now.

Unlike the stickers, my brand new laptop has arrived. But as you might have guessed, it's completely useless at the moment.

Like, what's even the point of having a laptop with Arch, when you can't show everyone else you're using Arch? So humiliating, can't even go in public now with that laptop.

People in the cafeteria will look at the back of my laptop without knowing I'm using Arch. The shame... Almost inhuman.

My only option is to go to speak to everyone individually to tell them I'm using Arch.
However, that might be risky. Imagine if I would miss someone!? They would leave without knowing I was using Arch.

In fact, I might not even meet them EVER AGAIN! In that case they would NEVER know I was on Arch! OMG! TOO MUCH HORROR!!!

All this because of a shity manufacturer.
Manufacturers like this really piss me off.
Because YOU can NOT ship on time I have to WASTE precious time now, THANKS A LOT China Stickers Corporation.

There was maybe one of the coolest methods of apply for a job. There was a company in Sydney on linkedin on the apply href for the job was pointing to localhost (might of been a accident) so you had to find their website and with the trailing url get to the page then they said to send OPTIONS request to a endpoint here you got a link to a api doc to where you send a POST to apply for a job they had a example body to use. So sending the Post request with with postman required headers so looking more into the doc it gave the headers needed. Now the example body for the post had some errors in it and once they are fixed you can then submit the request.

NOW thats the way to find competent developers shame I'm not one of the.

Shame me later for piracy but I think i just found the goldmine of books and vid tuts. Has packt(books, vids) and even O'Reilly books as recent as last month. This good boye has EVERYTHING.
coderprog.com

Microsoft be like :
"Oh, you're moving away from your computer for a while with all this stuff open? It would a shame if some were to.. UPDATE it!"

It asks with a pop up, and if you don't answer it, it thinks "Oh, you're not telling me if I should update now or not, but I think you probably want me to update. UPDATE!"

For me, if I keep ignoring the update, it starts to create problems for me out of nowhere. It starts to lag and then the task manager starts to lag. EVERYTHING IS NOT RESPONDING.
When I finally update it, it acts like there were no issues at all. Everything is fine..

Even with Xbox, if it wants to update, it doesn't let you go online until you do. If it loses connection mid-update for some reason, it begins the update again from the friggin START. All that time updating gone to waste. Recently, I'm having a lot of issues with it. It doesn't let me sign in a lot of times. "We couldn't sign you in" for some reason. It JUST CAN'T. If you have a slow internet connection, you can't play any game at all. I contacted Microsoft Support about that issue and they concluded that it was all because of the slow internet connection and there were no issues on their end and they told me to GIT GOOD (Not exactly those words). If it does sign you in, it kicks you out mid-game for some reason with the evil pop up saying "Bye User_Name". The game says that YOU signed out (Dumb game, doesn't understand Microsoft shenanigans) and returns you to the main menu. If your game didn't save, well, GOOD luck to you!
Everything takes forever to load, if it decides it's not gonna load, it gives me a really helpful error saying "Something went wrong".
Maybe it's just me, it just hates me particularly. It makes me think that Microsoft intentionally acts like a douche just to get attention..

(In the end I think, maybe, this all is not a big deal if you surrender and accept Microsoft as your overlord)

I tried a few ways to stop Windows from updating automatically, but nothing worked (Maybe, I should try again).

Maybe I should dual boot Linux, but that brings a whole new set of things that I'd have to deal with, doesn't it?

Sigh

The hardest thing that I've had to overcome in my career is the fact that I dropped out of college and do not have a degree. In addition to the personal shame and stigma I felt around being a 'dropout', it also brought along with it a raging case of imposter syndrome. The one benefit those feelings gave me was an almost obsessive drive to constantly improve my skills, which in many ways has proved to be an advantage in a competitive and rapidly changing industry.

After a decade of development, I feel like I've finally accepted that I'm more than qualified and capable of being in my position, and that I actually deserve the success that I've earned. I'm still mildly embarrassed about my lack of a degree, and I generally avoid bringing it up around my colleagues, but overall these feelings take a backseat to the confidence I've gained with each passing challenge and new role.

So my gf was sleeping and i took the opportunity to unlock her phone using her finger print. Sent bunch of texts and later told her i hacked her cellphone. She now believes i am a genuine hacker. Should i tell her the truth or just drag a little longer?

Kinda tired of people telling me that I'm "wrong" for using PHP. There's nothing inherently wrong with PHP. Any language is only as good as the developer using it, and so long as you're comfortable using it and it does what you need it to do, there's no shame in using ANY programming language. Don't let the these cocky "bro"grammers tell you how to do your job.

Are there any website or public list that shame companies and websites for sending passwords in plaintext whenever we tend to reset the password?

Why don’t people fucking indent

Cleaned up my Facebook timeline.. I actually posted a “there are 10 types of people..” joke back in 2011..

Shame on me...

So finished a project for a client, the client signed a contract. He signed off that all milestones where reached. Text me that he was very pleased.
We give 30 days to pay. 8 days before the due date he asked for a meeting, telling us he wants to go another direction and he wants the source code to show the new development team he's going with to get a quote from them. I tell him that, that's fine he can have the source files once he pays for the product which was in the contract they signed mind you!! And this FUCKING DICK FART threats to sue, saying he's calling his lawyer, threatening me and my development partner with physical violence, and saying he's going to sue me personally not because me work was bad but because I refused to give him the product before he paid. I was calm we offered to meet his new dev team explain the code, and show them what they needed to see to give the clients a quote and they would not allow that, saying how now I'm not getting paid instead I'm getting sued and that he will publicly shame my startup company. Just complete bullshit, good thing I saved the original contract he wanted me to sign which had threats of physical violence I. His contract... Which in retrospect should have been a hint, but it was the highest paying contract we ever landed. Seems he never planned on paying. What's a guy to do?

What a shame with asus. You open a new bought laptop and you see some bunch of CDs but your laptop doesn't have the CD reader. Priceless... :)

I've been reading a lots of posts about the "Age of No Privacy" and how our most personal information is spread and abused.
Well, obviously those complaining didn't have the displeasure of being born into an Ashkenazi Jewish family.
I had a small medical procedure, and my entire family (spread across 4 continents) became aware of it, created a WhatsApp group to discuss it (with message traffic that would shame any war room), and then my younger cousins asked that we post photos.
Of what?! My fucking colon? How about I stream the whole process live on Facebook, you crazy little shits?!
My point is - we violate the privacy of our close friends and loved ones daily, giving very little thought to what sort of information should or should not be forwarded. I'm not opposing to the battle against great evils, but maybe we should start by not committing small evils daily.

How can business majors be so gullible?! Who the fuck poisoned their minds with the app hype ?!!

Seriously my tears are 90% from laughter and 10% shame for humanity.

Friend: "Dude I'd like to consult with you the idea of an app...etc"
Me: "Sounds nice, got a business plan?"
Friend: "Yes, but well...you see... development has already started"
Me: "oh cool, how's that going?"
Friend: "well I already made an upfront payment of 2K dollars"
Me: "sounds kind of excessive for the amount of work...wait did you said upfront payment?"
Friend: "yeah, we calculated 30k total"

😐

Me:"umm...that software must be...special...? Can I see it?"
Friend: "that's the thing, they haven't delivered"
Me: " did they give you mockups? A development plan? Demo? Anything?"
Friend: "umm no"
Me: "a god damn receipt?"
Friend shows me a piece of paper with the name of the guy and 2K written on it.
Friend: "he says he's been busy, I wanted your advice"

I blame Eduardo Saverin's fate and my friend's on college's failure to teach "real world assholes 101"

Waking today on Saturday like:
Who's this FUCKER that broke the master yesterday????

Wait, that last commit was mine before I left office😦

The number of people who responded to this with bile such as “yeah but how well” or “i bet she can only write hello world”.
Its sad that this attitude still exists in our industry. If you havent seen the story she responded by clarifying that she is on the iOS tutorial team for Raywenderlich, and has a bachelors degree with a double major in Computer Science. But she shouldnt have to explain that just because shes a woman. Are people that insecure about their knowledge that they need to resort to demeaning other peoples? for shame.

There are still old youtube comments from my younger self to be found on youtube. Delete every evidence!

I made a ranty horn, for when I feel the need to publicly shame a guilty colleague.

Can someone just please come over and safe me? I am soooooo done with all this bullshit code. I understand why people loathe PHP, it enables totally worthless people to carry the title 'programmer' because hurrrdurrr look at my website, I made this. Fuck yes, you made that and you should SHAME yourself! What the actual flying fuck I can't begin to explain the monstrosities that I find checking out this worthless pile of fucking garbage.

User passwords saved as plaintext in database? Check!

Using hungarian notation, camecase and snakecase inconsistently? Check!

Typejuggling like you're the mainman of the Insane Clown Posse? Check!

Everything is a mess, there is no documenation, no consistency no nothing, this is straight from the 9th circle of programmers hell.

Aaaaaaarghhhhh I AM SO FUCKING DONE WITH THIS WORTHLESS PILE OF GARBAGE!!!!

The original dev prefixed every spagetthifile with his copyright shite so im gonna look him up and highfive him in the face with my laptop and after that printing out my resignation letter in comic sans fontsize 78 because FUCK YOU

So done.

@MissDirection today I learned what it truly means to be a "codeslut". I understand the decision you made to change your username due to the circumstances but I want you know that I'm now seriously considering prepending 'CodeSlut' to my username.

To be a code slut, in my definition, is to fuck with all things code.
I don't remember the idiot(s) that murked the name with shame, I remember being scornful towards them for their immaturity...But now I know whole the truth, and that what they were also unknowingly shaming was any engineer who has had an interest in anything related to code. Fuck them, in a sense they've fucked themselves, because I personally believe that as developers there's a little (code)slut in each and every one of you. Those who are willing to fuck with all of it and have a damn good time doing it. To dabble in a little bit of this and a little bit of that from time to time. Whether or not we stick with it is irrelevant, it's the experience we gain from it that makes us better people. To shame a code slut is to shame the pursuit of knowledge. And to shame the pursuit of knowledge is to shame my purpose in life. I stand by my pursuit to fuck with it all, no tech is sacred - I will fuck with it!

Please @MissDirection don't let my new username stop you from ever changing yours back to what it was or take this as some form of a personal insult/joke. I'm serious - I understand now. I'm not even sure if you realised it, but QueenCodeSlut held such beauty and truth to it that many(including myself) couldn't even begin to fathom. That is enlightenment of the utmost pulchritude, please accept this username change as a gesture of honor and respect towards you and any other fellow humans with their own endeavors of truth and knowledge.

I feel sorry for myself as i thought Ariana Grande was a font

*shame* *shame* *shame*
*voices from game of thrones in my head now*

My girlfriend is ranting about her work... It's a shame she isn't into tech or something like that.. If she would, I could show her the beauty of this online platform.

such a shame! (of me not using git)

I just saw the code of a guy who queries the database in the class construct *facepalm*

The amount of podcast episodes I missed recently reached dangerous proportions.

My boss went full psycho. I'll save her from some shame by not posting the email.

In one email she insulted every quality assurance consultant in the company.

She is supposed to be head of assurance

WHAT ARE THOSE?!?!???

Thought to start a programming blog.
Registered domain and hosting.
Created some posts.
Didn't get new idea/content to post.
Disconnected domain from hosting out of shame.

Found this while googling an error...

It identifies as an easter-egg therefor it is an easter-egg, so don't you dare egg shame me!

😁 It's not much but i'll take it 😂

Hack-intosh your old shitty HP. No shame at all! Just joy and fun. 😂 This laptop enjoyed its latest days of life.

So went to Starbuck to get a frappaccino then I realised I forgot to commit my project. I whipped out my mbp to fire that shit off. It was at that moment I realised ouuuh fuuckkk I'm one of those people now 😐 needless to say I bowed my head in shame and left without making eye contact with anyone....

Anyone use the i3 window manager? I'm trying to get the hang of it, and I see no advantages, it's just harder to use, which is a shame because I /want/ to like it!

I swear to God if “Microsoft testicle supprt” calls me one more time I’m going to flip. I think it may be time to set up a sandbox and get the fucks to “fix my computer.”

It would be a shame if instead of payment for their “support” their computers became infected with ransomeware...

I know what I’m doing today.

Damn stupid me...
One of our customers told us, mails are not working with SMTP. They send us a working code example, which looked very similar to our implementation... I was not able to find out what was wrong for hours.

A colleague checked the code later. After 5 minutes: you forgot a ! before checkin the string if it is null or empty...

Shame on me ..

Damnit...

I'm kind of a perfectionist, which is one of the reasons why I don't post here very often.

I think that my posts have to be the most hilarious or creative ones to even be bothered to be read by anyone.

Now.. I'm kind of not sober, so I'll just write some idéas, jokes and rants in notes on my iPad.. Sleep, and get drunk again tomorrow and maybe post them...

Or maybe just delete this post and be ashamed tomorrow?

I at least posted this under the "Joke/Meme" tag so that people won't be offended, hopefully, by this "none-rant".

iOS11 is so buggy that it is actually ridiculous. How does a company that is worth so many billions of dollars manage to release such patchy software. Hang your head in shame Apple. If anyone hasn’t updated from iOS10 yet, hold on till iOS11.0.1

And this is without me even getting into how horrible the dev experience with Xcode has been so far 😡

Why the fuck did you guys change my vps to read only file system.

WHAT IS FUCKING WRONG WITH YOU, THIS IS LIKE THE 6TH TIME.

What do you expect to tell my clients?

I should look into if I have legal rights to migrate everything to a more stable provider.

Sick and tired of having issues because other people fck up. It's a shame I have been using this provider for 5 years without any problems. And now servers left and right start having problems.

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.

A little ashamed about my cable situation

I made dis after tomorrow's release was cancelled this evening :/

Fuck you Intel.
Fucking admit that you're Hardware has a problem!

"Intel and other technology companies have been made aware of new security research describing software analysis methods that, when used for malicious purposes, have the potential to improperly gather sensitive data from computing devices that are operating as designed. Intel believes these exploits do not have the potential to corrupt, modify or delete data"

With Meltdown one process can fucking read everything that is in memory. Every password and every other sensible bit. Of course you can't change sensible data directly. You have to use the sensible data you gathered... Big fucking difference you dumb shits.

Meltown occurs because of hardware implemented speculative execution.
The solution is to fucking separate kernel- and user-adress space.
And you're saying that your hardware works how it should.
Shame on you.

I'm not saying that I don't tolerate mistakes like this. Shit happens.
But not having the balls to admit that it is because of the hardware makes me fucking angry.

Who the fuck uses http code 200 for a failure. Seriously have you ever heard something about a need to parse the shit you're returning...

Now I don't know whether it's me who's wrong, but man there are more than 80 different codes defined so there really should be something for you, don't you think?

And don't give me shit like "well the request worked so we return 200 it's only that the request wasn't correct". What for a fucking peace of something are you... Those codes are for that exact reason.

Anyways I'm going to parse the shit with string compare and afterwards kill myself out of shame. Whish me luck...

That moment when you've been so focused and and working so hard for literally days that you don't realise your office is a complete dump ...

you walk in ... then you realise

... oh god the shame.

Being called into a meeting where you get fired for an argument you had with your CTO. But the CTO left 6 months ago and the sales department are suspiciously low on deals in the pipeline...

Shame really, I loved that job and the Dev team was great, shame the directors were bastards.

Most embarrassing interview rejection was not even in person, it was over the phone.

The company that I was going to work for (quite a big one mind you), scheduled to phone me at 2PM, I was preparing mentally for 2PM, so I took my girlfriend to lunch at 1. Just to relax and calm myself before the phoned me.

It was 34 degrees (celcius - I think that's about 93 farenheit? somewhere close) outside and I was waiting for her to finish her smoke (she was in the smoking area).

They phoned me, and it caught me completely off-guard. My years of knowledge just seemed to flush down the toilet at that moment, and I utterly felt stupid talking to the guy over the phone. It was a first for me, and I hope that it never happens again - he basically stopped me, told me that I had better not apply before I know what I am talking about (as I was wasting his time), and then put down the phone on me..

Worst part was that my girlfriend came back right then and asked me if I am ready for the interview. I hung my head in shame because I was ashamed to tell her that I fucked it up, because you know, I kind of needed the job (the one I had at the stage was shitty).

This app. It's a shame I'm late.

I didn't even sign up for this

Personal project: I design and build single-board computers with old processors like Z80, 6502 etc when I'm not being too lazy. A few run CP/M. One that's been more interesting in terms of digging deeper has been an 80C188, for which I've written a BIOS (despite the chip's built-in peripherals and interrupts being at non-standard addresses) mostly in C, which it can use to boot DOS from an image file on an SD card (bit-banged off the UART chip with FatFs). (Yes it's slow, but so is a 5.25" floppy.)

Work: My first project at my current job. Not particularly exciting compared to some stuff on here, but it got me into making useful contributions to the open-source CRM we used at the time. Was building a basic extension to deal with duplicated organisation names. So learned CiviCRM fairly deeply, a bit of Drupal, a bit of PHP. It's a shame we don't use that system any more, the community was cool.

My preferred stack is Rails/NginX/Postgres, or Node using the same.

I have a fair amount of material for this week's rant, but in my stack's defense, the quantity is primarily because I've been using it for so long, and I'm apparently a talented breaker. I may share other stories if the motivation arises.

However, today I ran into something definitely deserving of calling out.

The default datatype for a Date+Time column in Postgres is `datetime` which means "date+time without timezone". (while `datetimetz` instead stores the timezone).

Apparently when comparing a datetime with a datetimetz, Postgres doesn't compute the timezone difference correctly, leading to some very unexpected and confusing query results.

Today, I had a record that was both pending (expires_at > now) and expired (expires_at <= now), where now is a DateTime (with tz) literal from Rails. After half an hour's frustrated delving and baffled expressions at query results, I finally figured out that the database's math was incorrect when comparing UTC (+0) and PST (-7).

This during a semi-high-priority bugfix that's blocking for a coworker.

While Time and all of its nuances are honestly extremely difficult to handle correctly, I didn't expect Postgres to get this relatively simple part wrong.

Shame on you, Postgres.
I expected better.

is there such a thing as specializing in maintaining legacy apps? because I'm pretty sure that's what I'm actually best at.

Im on work and just build the pyramid of shame :)

Stupid ass nimble fucker of an old friend talks to me for a whole week after a reunion saying stuff like "I'm glad we got to spent time together bro and stuff", the soul eater of poop being sets up a conversation over a week talking like he was a true friend. He only had to manage it for a week more, hell he had to resist his urge for a puny ass week and I would've considered that maybe good people existed. Well the universe along with this Pseudo-panty fuck decided it was time, they pitch me an "idea". Well after demonstrating kindly that I could technically pull (n) such ideas from my virtual butthole. The guy finally believes his idea was stupid and moves away. A minute later. SURPRISE MOTHER FUCKER! he says, telling me that he got an amazing idea along and if I could help him with some stuff. Well.. What? I jumped at this amazing opportunity. Not because of the dangling-dickina of an idea, because this was my way out of this misery fucks life. Alright should buy me some time right? He would go watch some tutorials, make a logo and call me when there's a problem. We'll in the milli fucking time that even a big bang couldn't have recurred, the bitch calls and says.. Bro, sorry for disturbing you, I need some help... [What did your mother from another son tell you she only gave birth to half of you?]
APPARENTLY, THE GUY JOINED FORCES WITH SOME INTELLIGENT MINDS AND SETUP A LEAGUE OF LIKE MINDED NECROPHILES AND I COULD HELP THIS DREAM TEAM with a name and a logo.
It started, I could sense it. I wasn't THE CHOSEN ONE. Tired, I said I'll see what I can do while attempting to block his number. A few hours later, he calls from another number with no shame and asks BRO? DID YOU. Did me what you bloody dick lubricator. Yeah I watched your mom a couple times, then I got bored when I found out it was an ad.

Unfortunately no I did not tell that, instead I used the kindest words I could pull out of my frustrated ass to tell him I won't do it cause I have better things to do.

The guy comes back a few hours later with an emotional back-story of how this is his way out of his sad ass life and saying stuff like sorry to disturb you bro, I never meant to.

Oh my gawd! Give this douche manufacturer an Oscar. Actually give him two!!

————

After this traumatic experience I often feel for such people. They have around 90 years to live. They have a free fucking brain. They have money. They have less problems.

Why can't they come up with a worthy idea with all these factors to compound the ideation process.

And why on the earth can't they make the Idea on their own. I'm completely self taught so I don't see it being a problem. I could well say that I'm more knowledgeable than a few grads out of my stupid college but I don't wanna compare myself to those stupid beings.

If you have an idea? Make it. Die for it. But never approach another being, either he eats you or you eat him.

That fealing when someone that picked from the graves an old project that you've started when you were just a noob developer... and then you look at the code... and then the shame.

We used to have a very passive-aggressive frontend dev who left disparaging comments in html, css, & js files in our SPA. He would leave comments like "<!--shame on API for shitty implementation-->" for things like having to add 1 to a zero-indexed array to make a numbered list.

Of course, the html comments are only visible if someone views the page source or inspects elements. However we've signed on some big clients and I decided we shouldn't take any chances looking like fools because of the actions of a single dumbass, and I went through every comment and purged/reworded them.

(grep is, and shall always be, my friend)

(Also, don't get me wrong, he was usually right, but went about it in the wrong way).

So I got a 1.7 grand laptop for free a week ago.

Fuck me, the company I'm working at is the best.

Hp elitebook 840 g5, 16 gigs and auto -crypting ssd.
Corpo life is the best. Shame it's got windows on it and I can't get linux on it.

I dont think that's how GDPR and OPT-IN cookies work, ya fuckin dingus (screenshot from arstechnica[.]com)

I did mostly Java and JavaScript coding before I came to my current job. When I started I pretty much had to learn PHP on the fly. Pretty much no problems, but my greatest shame from the few years I've been writing code is when I spent over an hour debugging an unknown error, after which time a fellow dev looked at my code and informed me that PHP uses . instead of + to concatenate strings...

So on a scale from 0 to creating a bat script to delete folders and fully re clone the repo's you just deleted because you can't be bothered learning git, how lazy are you?

I'm in the latter...

Some Project Manager outsourced a redundant RADIUS setup with MySQL backend. We got 2 copies of a daloradius appliance running on Ubuntu 10.04. Once I saw this, I started to get a bit suspicious and requested to audit the system and database redundancy. With the system in production, and without getting back any documentation, I got into the VMs using the default root password. This was not even the worst part, as I found. One server was using a local MySQL instance, while the other was also using the first one's MySQL instance. When I reported this, I was told to comment clearly any changes to the configuration files, which resulted in commenting the word SHAME above each change.

Well since I cannot post my work setup due to post-its with 'important stuff' (NDA, not passwords, mind you!!😋) & a lot of curse words & other stuff.. I decided to shame, I mean share my home laptop.. Most of the time, he is lurking in the shadows, trying to upgrade shamelessly whenever I need to use it, occasionally he embarrasses me in front of clients, or makes my summer days at sea a living hell..
So here he is! Everyone, meet LOKI!! :/

I was doing code reviews for some of the new Devs recently joined... One guy wrote his entire life history in the check in description... Like Why he took this approach, why interfaces are necessary in coding, when did he lost his virginity (I doubt he ever did), what's his pet name? - sadly no information related to his online banking... Shame really...

Gsuite support sucks so bad, if you can, please stay far away from it or use it for simple stuff like authentication, if you get stuck you won't get help.

First I asked them:

What is the URL to authenticate Gsuite users using curl?

They said they don't know and it's outside the scope of support, and they told me to go to stackoverflow, I was lucky to only one user who knew the answer.

Then today, I asked them how to increase the access token expiry date since it's 1h, not enough if you are doing admin directory sdk integration (letting your users manage groups)

That my friends is not coding, there should be a setting for that, but again, outside the scope of support, ask on stackoverflow.

Regardless if Stackoverflow can answer or not, it's not their job, I'm a paid Gsuite user.

On the other hand, my company host on Azure, I know server administration, but if we face a server problem that will take me more than 5 minutes to solve, or if we need to patch something, I call the boss telling him to contact Azure and ask them to solve it.

We paid Azure for support so they do support, if they can't provide support then we would migrate to some cheap server on lowendbox.com

A user pays for support and only for support, and that's the least to expect from a big company.

Shame on Google. A company with a billion programmer and stupid support team that can't even forward technical email to some programmer to solve it.

Google doesn't need to hire new CEO to improve cloud services, they could start by hiring better support...

Fresh internship story (Part 3)

Turns out my coworker with a mental disorder(adhs and idk what you call it. He is 24 years old, but is mentally between 16 and 18) is gay.

ATTENTION: DO NOT READ ANY FURTHER SINCE THIS IS GOING TO GET DISGUSTING!

My cheap coworker's name is Justin btw. I felt a weird atmosphere when I joined the team. Justin seemed to be a hetero guy. (I am generally assuming that every guy and girl I met is hetero). But he had his slightly "gay moves".

Yesterday, I was curious about it and asked him about why he was afraid about the police to identify him on a video to start the conversation. He told me that his ex did cheat on him. Since I assumed that he was hetero I asked if the girl was cheating on him. He got embarrassed.
him:"I uhmm... am... not hetero. I am...*stops talking*"
me:"What? Are you bi? Are you gay? What are you?"
him:"I am gay."
me:"Oh... *tries to hide the shock* I see.*silence for a minute*"
me:"What is the name of your ex?"
Justin:"Fabian. Fabian had a video and pictures of me and he put them online and did spread them with everyone. After that I got punched by some dudes. Now I want to take my revenge."
me:"... well... now that makes sense.*silence*"

I felt sorry for him and decided to keep listening. I made a wrong decision there.

2 hours later he told me how he got gay, because I wanted to know if he was born gay or if he became gay.
He told me his whole life was full of sex.
He found a sextape of his parents and jerked off to it without cuming since he did not even hit puberty yet. Then he had sex with a 6 year old girl and then with a 12 year old girl when he was 8 or something in both cases.

Later he got into a place full of guys.
He first started jerking off to hetero porn among the dudes. I wonder how he got no shame while doing it. Anyways, after that he began to feel something for boys and less for girls since boys were able to understand him more than girls. Then he became gay and his sex life with boys started.
It was very disgusting, but I wanted to know it.

next morning:
*he keeps talking about how Fabian fucked him outside in the bushes and I keep ignoring him*

I've been waiting a long time friend this. It's a shame I can't stick it on my work laptop, but my home laptop just got a lotta bling <3

A bunch of buddies in my city are waiting for it too, but I think I got em first. #bragging_rights

Thanks! @dfox, @trogus

Woot, just got accepted for a scholarship for University.

It's a shame that I'm <planning on> doing a bachelor of information technology instead of computer science. This is due to my lack of prerequisites because I didn't do methods and ​​specialist mathematics in high school and chose to do standard mathematics instead :/

GF : Who's the name of that guy who plays Count Olaf in the Netflix's Unfortunate Events series, again? You know, Barney Stinson?
Me : Hmm, it would be Tim Berners-Lee I think... At least that's the name that comes to my mind.
*checks*
Me : FUCK, NO. It's Neil Patrick Harris! Tim is the creator of the WWW...

Shame on me, but at least I remember the most important names better 😅.

I would like to rant one more time about my internship.

I began in July, the first. That's my sister who helped me to find this internship and I was a little scared about how bad it could be.
I came at the office, my boss told me that I would work in an "Innovation lab", an apartment where people works on projects that are less corporate than the enterprise's ones.

To me, it was amazing. So I came in this apartment, it was like a dream. I didn't know that I would have such luck to be in this environment : kitchen, sofas, beds, many decorations for all political ideologies, ideas. There was some decorations that were about weed and many cool things for the young guy I am.

The lab's leader told me that it was a very free environment and all the awesome stuff I could use.
Then they showed me where I would work.

We were two interns employed as web developers. We had a complete room for us.
Then we began to work there, and I was presented to my internship tutor.
He gave me some instructions but told me that I had a week before the project begin.

Here began the troubles.

We waited a complete week without having any instructions. Then we began to build something in PHP with our knowledge and the informations someone from the lab gave us.
When finally we had news from the project, two weeks later, we learned that the project would be built with ASP. NET.
Here we go, I learn ASP. NET alone. I have many problems and nobody helps (even if the problem comes from enterprise's API/Framework). I finally make something usable with no help, after I discovered that my mate wasn't developer at all and just took an option for her classes which forced her to get an internship.

She had 3 month left, I had 6.
Then when the project really began, nobody came to verify what I was doing and on a meeting, they said that I was doing nothing.

The boss even became mad on us because he couldn't see what we were doing (we're back end developers).
I asked for help to the developers of the enterprise and someone came, sad to have to help an internship, and learned some tricks but nothing else.

To have a concrete explanation of what DDD was, I had to ask 4 times for help.

Finally I had something that could receive data from the connected hives we are working on and store them into a database in the architecture of the enterprise.

Then, they wanted me to try an API for them. I tried, and it wasn't working at all. So they make me still wait to change my whole architecture when the API will be released.

Recently, I was told that I would never do the front-end of the project (which was an horror because of the fantasm of the lab leader). Then they realized that my late wasn't a programmer. So they asked me to make a prototype for the front-end. I did for a presentation.

Then they didn't tell me the device they would use for the presentation and it was an iPhone 7. Idk why, safari couldn't display what IE can.

They blamed me for having done a bad work. It wasn't my job. I did it to help because they can't find a fucking front-end developer with a little more experience than me.

Actually, I am an alone developer since my mate is gone and the lab leader don't want me to show up because she considers me as a shame.
I asked to be moved back in the office of the enterprise, they agreed and said it was a 2-weeks delay. It's the Thursday of the second week and I have no news. I send mails to my tutor, even SMS, he doesn't answer me. They didn't call me to give me my pay with a week late. And the person who is responsible doesn't answer me neither. I came to see her, but she wasn't available. I'm now alone in a desk, waiting the time to pass.

Fucking this shit.

I'm in France.

EDIT : I forgot to say that I can't use the sofas or bed because I'm allergic to cats and there were 3 cats. Now there is still one and this beast vomits and poos everywhere in the house...

Past me was an idiot

That moment when you know you're writing shitty code, but you continue writing shitty code because the boss says he needs it yesterday... (._. )

Dear recruiter,

Open space is not a perk.
If someone tells you they want remote, not bit of remote or any other indication,
Why would you ask how much remote is ok?

If someone tells you "i want open space" would you ask "how much open space? Like half office?" No, you wouldn't.
But for sure, what is not acceptable when someone tells you they want remote is answering "that's a shame" if you want to get a developer a job, work, if you want to get cash because of a developer then do that.

this.rant.isFirstPost == true

Found this gem while sorting the endless pile of hackathon swag: two tattoos and a sticker.

I am pretty much a designer.
I hope I didn't give others bad experiences~

Oh well I always loudly rant and get insulting when I see comic sans (in wrong usage) or ugly websites (not old or weird but old looking AND overdesigned 😓).
Probably that's what's most annoying when you're talking about me as a designer.

I've every been a Arch Linux fag. It's my main OS from 5 years. With a small parenthesis of two months of FreeBSD recently, I've used before Arch Kubuntu, Ubuntu, Fedora KDE, OpenSolaris (randomly), CentOs, plus a lot of others distro for tests.
But I've never tested Debian!
So I've installed it on my small server.

Oh... My... God.... It's fantastic. PACMAN >>> apt, but damn it's really stable and out of the box even if minimal. A very surprise. I think it can be my favorite remote Linux for a long time....

But a question rises. Why with a father like Debian... Ubuntu after the 11.04 is such a shame? The last I've tested is the 12.04 I think, but I've hated it, and I hate it even now. (Crash, driver not found, apt problem, very heavy repos and my internet sucks, UNITY, etc...)

Ubuntu, what happened to you ...? With Kubuntu 8 you were such a good guy...

About to be interviewed by an upcoming client for a project I don't necessary like, wish me luck,

PS,
Already 30 minutes passed from the scheduled time and the person in charge is not here yet, yep punctuality is just not in our culture, shame

😂😂😂 lol oh no what will we do when hackers takeover the world by printing an endless stream of planetary gears. Shame on you Harvard for such a poor picture choice.

As a rookie programming, I wrote really bad code and didn't understand why. Now, I've improved to where I know bad code, but I continue writing studios horrible solutions. And in the end up refactoring much until I don't have energy to look at my code anymore. This although knowing what I should/shouldn't do. Shame!

Three days into my job and the client is asking when we can start my project... Supposed to have two weeks training, and I don't even think that's enough to learn Hybris, so instead of being an angry rant I'm just gonna sit here and be a sad one :(

I can already feel the incoming shame. Shame. Shame...

I am learning java at school and my teacher asked me to make a work on JTA (java transaction API). There's not a lot of tutos on it on the web so I say to myself "go on, give it a try, you'll only learn by trying."
I finally find how to make the @TransactionType, where to put the @Stateless, my test works, nice. Finally I want to try a case where it shouldn't work, just to be sure the rollback works well. The test goes and... NullPointerException. Wtf ! Normally, my catch is supposed to, well, catch the error !

And finally, I was just stupid. My catch worked great. But I put a "throw e" inside.

Now I wanna hides under blankets, cry, eat cake and never see my coworkers again.

Javascript is so loose it puts Kim Kardashian to shame.

Is there anything that brings more self-shame, then having to create break points by echoing out the current state of variables every second line or so in order to understand your bug?

Or is that just something you can't avoid sometimes...

I think it means there's something wrong on a high level with your code if you have to squeak out like that.

Yeah. squeaking sucks.

!rant

Been here since 2/2017 and didn't make myself an avatar. I feel ashamed.

Edit: I hate the MM/DD/YYYY format. More shame on me that I did not notice it was in retard format.

Got my sticker ! Put it on the wall of shame :)

Me: does literally anything
Npm: breaks

Why NPM? Why must you do it? This is the third time this week on a third system. I just wanted to update so my packages would work. But nooooooo. Oh you wanna update? It'd be a real shame if I, I don't know, didn't update properly whatsoever and all of a sudden couldn't find any internal modules I need to run.

"Just use npm i npm@latest"

Yeah I would except for the whole I can't use NPM at all thing. even npm -v breaks. Can't find internal module. So I literally have to wipe eveey trace of npm/node and do a clean install.

It's so frustrating! I can't do any work because I spend all my damn time fuckin around with NPM.

I upvote everything to know what I've actually read. Shame one me 🙃

Why is there no tool autoinstalling missing programs using your favourite pac(kage)man(ager)?
Like so,
$ program
>> couldn't find “program”. Should I install it? (Y/n)
If there is one... Shame on me *rings bell*

Also, yay! First Post!

I just had such a forfilling moment.

Normally, i often (force myself) go to bed at night, after i worked on a project of mine, with these thought saying "oh man i wanted to get that feature done today" or "i want to finish this and that part of my code".I am sure everyone of you knows the feeling, when your brain communicates that you are just not done for today.

Today it was different. I got a project of mine working in it's first state, where i put much heart, love and time in.Just a few minutes before i finished for today i got my server responding the expected numbers(some kind of pin-code). It's a very easy system: Someone(at the time only me and my debug mode :3) on a android phone request a verification which is checked and processed by the server. The server creates a random six-digit number, returns it encoded to the client and sends an email to the user, which currently sends it in plain text(shame on me).
Yeah, the user enters the number and voilà
And of course, all the Pincodes can only be used once.
I got to bed with this feeling of luck and succes.

I hope tomorrow is going to be a productive day!

I am so lucky right now.

Have a good day everyone!

How to conduct yourself in a job interview
Simple test"Write a for loop".
First, write some nonsense bullshit for twenty minutes. Then, when you realize time is up, pass to the next question. After write more nonsense bullshit in SQL and jQuery, it's time to breath fast and panic.
Deliver your exam.
Pack your stuff and go to a cave where nobody ever will find you, cry the next three years and commit to a life of self punishment, shame and tears.
That's how you nail a job interview, suckers.

Awkward, but the only possible way.
Either I didnt figure it out or shame at Apple, this is not a good way to handle this.

Once I really messed up with git. Lots of conflicts, strange branching, HEAD in detached state etc. Just cloned an earlier version of the repo into a separate folder, hand transferred all the changes I needed to keep and force merged into master as if nothing ever happened.

Google wanted to be politically correct and gave faces different colors. But apparently using "black" or "asian" is a shame too so all of these emojies have same name.

This decision was very poor as it's hard to implement this duplicity in frontend so as always Devs choose easiest choice - just use the first one. And first one is always yellow...

Congrats on making whole lazy Dev world using your "correct" emojies enforcing only one face style.

We are three developers currently working on the exact same bug. And for the love of everything that is good, we can't figure out what the fucking fuck is going on here! Ok, we are all still students, two of will soon have their bachelors degree and one just finished his first semester. But we are not completely incompetent. We all code quite much as a hobby, and that since a few years. Now this bug occurs and puts all of us to shame.

The first one discovered the bug 4 days ago. We send a json object to the server and it can't be deserialized. But only if it is a PUT request it works fine with a POST.

The other stumbled upon it 2 days later. Both of them can't continue working until it is fixed. Now it is today and I, working on a different project, stumble upon the same fucking bug.

But hey, everything works fine if we use jdk 1.7u79 or older. With jdk 1.7u80 and newer it breaks. All of us read the patch news. None of us can figure out which change causes this. Fuck.

When I think of booting into Windows to edit a document. Next thing I see:

I am ashamed to admit that I only learned recently that omitting 'var' in a JS variable declaration inside a function gives the variable global scope. So that's why it wasn't working properly....

Just got upset with a coworker due to not understanding the code written, logic, lack of documentation, comments. Nothing!

Other coworker: But Dave, you added that feature last December. Remember?
Me: So what are we working on today?

Sometimes I feel.... my compiler judges me.

As the ones who read my previous rants know, I work with legacy code a lot and I regularly have ' how the fuck did this ever work??' moments. So I decided in order to deal with all the crap I encounter, I will make a hall of fame / shame of bad code as my own side project. Does anyone have an idea for a good name?

Nice display you got there. It would be a shame if it didn't had any input.

Just realized the button between my left and right click on my touchpad actually works exactly like you would press the scroll wheel on your mouse, in Linux!
Shame on you Windows, you didn't know what to do with it.

?rant
We bought an expensive middleware which helped development speed and stability a lot. Something did not work and after a week I located the bug in the middleware. Support was adequate and the bug got fixed after my report.
I'm not mad at the developers, because bugs happen, and this one was hard to catch, even with tests.
On the other hand I have to explain my boss what took so much time.
It really wasn't my fault, but I also don't want to shame the middleware company, because it will make it harder for me to buy their stuff (and I quite like their products) or even any software at all.

A customer requested the graphic drafts for a website with a serious design. He left me the complete freedom. After six shot down including three drafts inspired to important designers and one inspired to material design, I decided to make something absurd asking the customer his favorite colors. I am ashamed to have created a design with shades of green, white, orange and yellow on a green background. He said it was fantastic.

Thanks to iOS I've had to do something horrible

I am SOOO fucking sick of being asked if our website and gaming servers are going to be GDPR compliant. All these game owners in a panic changing everything they do just to conform to this law.

Fuck GDPR. In all reality COME AT ME BITCH. The EU wants to grow a pair of balls and act like the world internet police? Bring it the FUCK on. You can't even stop pirating in your own country, so how the FUCK are you going to regulate and enforce this law on HUNDREDS of THOUSANDS of servers, when your punk ass government can't even shutdown a single torrenting website.

Give me a fucking break, and shame on you pussies for allowing it. All you people running around scared acting like your private gaming servers are important. I give a shit less how much work you put into your server. I have put more work than most anyone else, but you don't see me trying to act self important as if my gaming server is some fortune 500 company.

Your server isn't important and neither are you. The government doesn't give a shit about your server so can we all just stop acting like this fucking matters. NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT YOUR SERVER.

NO ONE is going to come and sue you for not complying. GDPR is for business, and anyone that wants to argue no look it says right here it applies to all is a fucking MORON. Do you idiots stop and think or do you just believe everything typed out on paper.

THEY CANT ENFORCE THIS ON EVERYONE. They don't have the resources. So use your fucking heads and stop being so fucking scared of a law that has no resources to stop you. THEY CAN"T DO ANYTHING. EU and whoever made their polices, I DARE them to try and touch my server, I WANT them to start something with me, just so I can show the rest of the world why the Internet is still the wild west and why they have no power over me.

You think pirate bay is the only one who knows how to hide their server? You think pirate bay is the only one who keeps backups of their server to be able to re release in an instant somewhere else in the world? Bitch get real this is the internet, a place where a 5 year old can buy hand grenades from the Red Silk Road, and you wanna talk to me about your privacy? Go fuck yourself.

It's not my problem some douche bag went onto a site that used his personal information in the wrong manner. So how about you do what everyone else does and browse ANONYMOUSLY. But no it would be to easy for governments to make their own citizens responsible. Instead they have to hold all of YOUR hands, because you people are to stupid to protect yourself.

Wake the fuck up world, and stop being a bunch of whining little brats who cry for the government to bubble wrap your world so you can live safer. Natural selection is long overdue for a lot of morons still breathing air.

Learning the subprocess module in python, because os is deprecated. its a shame because i had just learned os

So I've identified a key demographic that's excluded from social networks, by their very definition.

Misanthropes.

Misanthropic individuals need their own little area of the internet too.

I propose "MySpaceNowFuckOff.com" although this would probably result in a protracted legal battle. I'm open to name changes.

It would be a site for socialising with others like you, who don't actually want to socialize, where you don't get "likes" you get "disinterested acknowledgement", there isn't a share button but a "shame this idiot" button. And you don't have friends but a list of "people who haven't pissed me off... yet".

Twitter. From a genuinely open and global platform which pretty much single-handedly created a new market segment, to dogmatic SJW-infected thought police with no transparency or objectivity in how they operate. Gab is the closest we have come to a viable alternative at scale, but between industry-wide bullying to shut them down and their own short sighted inability to handle their own growth, Twitter still has an outright monopoly on their segment and no shame about abusing that position.

I just oversleeped...
Im not a dev yet, i have a contract job at the factory.
I have worked 1month already from 3 that i singned up for.

The worst thing is that i said i need a day off to give specific papers for my university. It was supposed to be today but i moved it tomorrow due to the problem with transport.

Well my superior is propably realy angry right now... On the bright side i will have 2 days off...

I wont get fired (hopefully) because as contract job they should only substracy the daily pay from my monthly salary.

This is my first time that im late for a real job. My intuition says that i should go but i wouldnt bear the shame... If i were to go i would be late minimaly 2 hours. I have no idea what to do... I will propably stay home and lose the daily payment because im not strong enough to bear the shame today. It would be very difficult to get in the company as well. Ahhhhh! Its difficult to make decisions when you are shy, lazy and scared.

I've been infcted with writing awful, sinful, obscure code, so others can't read or change it.

Recently i got my first full time job as a programmer (yay). It's with a company with 15+ year old system and they are currently upgrading it. But it's driving me crazy with the massive mess of old and new code. However it only gets worse! Instead of making it simple and nice to read, they want it over complex, just to get something from the database i have create at least 5 fucking classes and endless SQL code, the old system didn't requier any SQL or the creation og new classes, WTF. I've become a sinner, of corse i use the old system, but i do it secretly, and i obscurify my code so others can't understand. It's shameful, but i'm afraid to confront the older programmers, they've spend too much time in the system and they've been in the business for a lot longer than me.

One of the worst things I did in my career as a developer was that when i had to change an offer form in our SAP System. My boss told me to change the prices in a form in our SAP system. Normally the key users do that but our SAP System is so fucked up that sometimes the developers have to do it because you have to write directly into the database. So I wanted to look up which table it was and what I saw scared me.

IT WAS A FUCKING IMAGE.

So I used paint to edit the prices in the image and re-uploaded the image. Shame on me but I didn't wanted to change that shit. I have other things to do than that.

Docker rant, and "learning to code" rant in general:
Fresh install of docker (Mac), pulled latest containers, pulled latest master branch from codebase, shell in to run the test suite. I source env variables, migrate, looks like business as usual, then the test runner kills itself for no (apparent) reason.

Check out console logs from docker, missed heartbeats from celery and some shit about a time warp. wtf is that?

OK whatever, do the normal "restart my laptop, restart docker, try again" and now two hours of me staring at ./manage.py test -v 3 -l DEBUG --keepdb (appname) wondering wtf is wrong here.

Meanwhile I am not a seasoned dev, with 2-3 years of Javascript, the past 6 months I've been learning to dev in Python/Django using docker.

Only colleague on at this hour can't think of anything, so I file a bug report feeling like a dumbass for not knowing wtf broke upstream in the past day/week, and imagining the "real" devs (i'm in the product team, not the engineering team) losing their faith in me that I could be a competent dev someday

Cant shake this feeling of shame of being ignorant, like I should automagically know how to fix this.

I hope you never have to install RHEV in production.
It’s such a bad product, it brings shame to the name “RedHat”.

so when someone in the office finds a funny design or absurd code on our sites we play a game we named roulette: we check the versioning system and find who did it... there is no price in this game, that shame is enough :)

when you're tryna create a function in C and u start typing "funct"... and then u realise it's "C" so u backspace your code of shame.

Worked all weekend with a couple friends on a side project and it's finally done. A shame I had to pull all the weight and fix my friend's lazy coding.

And then he had the nerve to try to charge me for the chili he made use for dinner one night. Asshole.

Why do Apple have to hide the ”request desktop version” button behind the refresh button on the Ipad?

I get Idea. They problably thought it like you refresh as desktop site. But it took me ages to find out how to request desktop site!

Why cant it just be like chrome and have the settings and tools behind a menu where everything is.

And this is just one of many of Apple products flaws! Shame on you Apple!

If you wonder why i even use a ipad it’s because it’s a school ipad that is locked so we cant install apps.

SORRY, OF OFF-TOPIC

Have you ever woke up one day, and EVERYTHING in your day went wrong?

I am working in a online media website to earn money while I'm on the university.

Today I had to deliver a work for uni in the morning. I only had to print it. Well... The printer wasn't working, so I got late to work.
At least they were cool about it.

Then I started working.
I had to record and edit 2 videos (and other easier things in between).
The first one went very smoothly and fast.

Then I "recorded" the second one. This one was with the most beautiful woman on there. Deamn, she's beautiful...
I got very nervouse.
First take, at the end of it, I look to my right and the mike was on the table. So she was basically talking to no one.
We had to record a second time.
When we finished, I looked at the camera, and I saw that I hadn't connected the audio receptor to the camera. Fuck! I was so unfocused...
We had to record a 3rd time.
What a shame.......

Then my colleague was in my computer, and I end up getting out of work 2 hours extra.

Now, to finish, I just lost my last bus home, and I need to take a taxi...

Fuuuuuuuck!

After years of avoiding contributing to open source because I'm a wuss I think it's about time I get serious about it. Does anyone have any recommendations for beginner friendly repos? And maybe a good Git tutorial?... *shame*

Do u ever had the feeling that you're just too tired to do anything? Well I just had a full week of just doing nothing.. fuck this

Requests to a soap server were failing randomly. In order to contact the API provider, I tried to provide an curl example with the same payload and the error response. Yet when sending the payload over curl, the request worked just fine. When my application was building the request, it failed.

What. The. Fuck.

I checked and double-checked the request body and headers. They were identical.

Of course, no error response was returned by the API provider and, of course, they could not tell me how what error I caused in my request.

So I created a basic dummy server, installed wireshark and compared the payload when sending a request from my application and from curl to my dummy server.

It turns out: curl, if called in a certain way, automagically strips out newlines. The soap client kept them.

So that that shitty soap server crashed due to newlines in the message body!

Stripping out the newlines was rather easy.

Shame on you, your house, and entire family for letting it crash due to them!

Wk33:

Best experience of 2016 is probably just realising I'm a pretty good programmer. I have a physics undergraduate degree and a 1 year masters in CS, I'm working on back end algorithm stuff so pretty mathsy at times, but I've found from working with others that I write good quality code. I've still got lots to learn but I've got a solid foundation, am reading, learning and coding outside of work.

Worst experience of 2016 is working with people for whom it's purely a day job, only about the money, get things done in whatever hacky way works.

Why? Why?

Of you, you were the last I've expected such failure and misery...

Not once, not twice, but I have you a chance so many fucking times...

I won't deny it, we've been through good times, done so may things together, and I admit that I'd never be able to work without you.... this codependence is just too damn fixated...

But, I think I should part ways with you, I'll visit sometimes, not just to have fun, but mostly because of work matter.

Sorry Linux, you've failed me, I'm leaving you for Windows.

So I make websites on the side for small time clients for some additional income. And without fail every time I sit down to work on this one site something goes wrong. First there were problems with the hosting, and now the template that the client chose is no longer for sale. I hope I'm not going to lose them over this :( I've sent them a list of alternative templates and contacted the company behind the original template to ask what is up. Real shame because they picked what I considered the favourite too and now I regret waiting to fork over the money to make the purchase.

Had to play with old code of mine today. I wrote when I just started working a few years ago. Had a bit of shame be mostly a good laugh at pass me. Dam I used to be bad

North Korea has blocked Internet access to Twitter, Facebook, and YouTube such a shame to the 3 people who have Internet access there

Shame on Apple to use AngularJS on their iTunes Connect developer portal.... and probably other sites.
Today I discover that while inspecting the source code in search of an element that might have been hidden or missing and to my surprise I saw angular code in it !! WHATTT? !! shame on Apple... the links of the iTuneConnect still mention WebObjects (a Java based web-building framework that was never adopted by the mass) but the client code has Angular on it. How is it possible that they did not try to come up with their own framework for web applications ? They started the entire web-widget html/Javascript adventure, promoting modular web component and what not to then adopt a Google made framework ?! . No wonder they are syncing again. :D ... of course I am just runting... I love you Apple.

When I fail at a Rant and have to delete it out of shame and repost 😢

bug fix: 01101100 01101111 01101100

It's a shame how you as a freelance web developer complete a project and hand it over to client and you check it over and over and you never find the client use the project.

It hurts my feelings really really bad.

Well, been awhile. The latter half of this is probably gonna be unpopular, but the gist of it is that all of the devs working on camera-centric apps, get your shit together, if possible. As mentioned there may not be a way for you to get your shit together, because Google and the others involved ultimately are a mess. In that case, you're dismissed. I haven't proof-read this, so don't take it exactly verbatim.

Woke up this morning to a need for this, so here goes:

----
OPEN LETTER TO SNAPCHAT
----
Snapchat,

You guys need to get your shit together. This is a tack-on to what Marques Brownlee already stated.

I woke up this morning to a seriously FUCKED UP UI. UX didn't change as much, still looks Snapchat-esque. But holy hell WHAT THE FUCK?

I'm not averse to change, despite the above. HOWEVER, there's an exception to that: You cannot change out UX/UI from under me with no warning. I need to know that within the coming weeks, there will be changes to how I interact/interface within the app. An option to opt into testing would be nice as well, but doesn't look like you guys have that figured out. With that testing should come feedback, and something like Jira, where issues can be reported and triaged. You're a company, unfortunately, so I doubt you'd be willing to even go as far as accepting feedback in the first place, which is a shame.

Seriously, as Marques pointed out, Android Snaps are shitty because the app takes a screenshot of the viewfinder and uses it as a photo. There's no doubt in my mind this is something that others do, but all Android devs need to either not pull this (because it's not clever) or just not make apps (quality over quantity).

I would like to see either Google step in and require a native API that is the same across all devices and leverages all cameras to their full potential (I want to say that Snap's issue stems from an API provided by Google. In this case, Google, get your shit together), or alternatively I'd like to see manufacturers band up to provide a uniform interface to deal with this. Because I don't see the latter happening anytime soon, Google needs to do something about this, although I feel like they probably won't. That said, IDGAF WHO it is, I just want it FIXED.

I have some friends who finished undergrad together and they are working on side jobs at the moment. From my experience with them, they wrote shit code and their deployment methods were a mess. I remember everytime I pointed out something wrong and tried to fix it, all they said was "it works" and they seemed proud and didn't bother to fix anything. Plus they didn't even know how to use git properly and they didn't merge my code that actually fixed the problems before submitting the project because they didn't know how to use git merge. Fuck them. I'm so glad I no longer have to work with them. It's a shame that they're working on projects for small to medium sized companies (that can't afford someone to actually review their work) writing shit code with bad practices because some day, somebody has to clean up that mess when shit goes down.. Dumb proud programmers..fuck

Working with Vagrant be like:
Oh I see you've added new features all over the project files, all good, I'll sync that to the virtual folders. Oh now you've added a line to the css, would be a shame if I stop syncing now for no apparent reason and let you go insane figuring out why the minor change won't show

Oh no guys. I can't get into work!

I can't see other humans! What shall I do? Oh no! My social interaction quota!

So finally I could find a part-time job! Better yet, I'll be paid as a full time worker! It's a shame it isn't tech related, I'll be taking care of a small firm's finances. But hey, I got a small office that, as my employer told me, I can use outside of work, for whatever I want! It's been a good year so far!

i once explored our codebase and copied every line of commented out code into a text file. that file is over 350 lines long.