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Joined devRant on 6/5/2016
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"Your stupidity is so vast that its value can only be stored in a double, because a float has insufficient range" - John Byrd
This insult is from one of my personal favourites and must be one the best programmer insults ever since it is backed up with programmatic proof written in valid C code.
You should really read the post, it's only one of the many gems in there.
Source: https://quora.com/What-is-the-harde...3 -
Before a month I wrote I would like to create my own pastebin-like service.
And here it is... Pastitude!
End-to-end encrypted open-source service for sharing your awesome code :)
Tell me your opinions for this project in comments. Feel free to create an issue if you found any bug or have an idea how to improve Pastitude.
https://pastitude.com
GitHub link: https://github.com/PapiCZ/pastitude16 -
Why do I create free services (at least free for now)?
Because one of my biggest dreams is to create a service which will be used by many many people.
A man can dream, right?
😞34 -
Tinder is the worst app out there. I keep receiving notifies like "hey honey! You received x new likes!" or "you're performing well! A lot of people are appreciating you".
What's the problem, you say... well, the problem is that I HAVE NO A FUCKING ACCOUNT, I deleted my account months and months ago and if you want you can try it as well. Download, sign up, set the worst photo that you can find then delete your account, you'll receive a lot of awesome messages!
Actually I received these fake notifies also when my account was active, and when I opened it then I discovered that there was no new likes. But was so fucking hard to put an if statement to check if the user's account is active? Come on... I know you want to trick people and convince them using your app, at least do it the right way2 -
Yesterday my friend was telling me that he was hacking some federal server in my country, and his girlfriend interrupted him and he couldn't complete the hacking
Such a lier 😏
We don't have girlfriends5 -
!dev && rant
Any stargate fans on here? Can we talk like one minute about stargate origins? It's like. I mean. Fuck. Is it really that bad or am I missing a huge part?12 -
Watched the Winter Olympics opening ceremony where they have 1200 drones flying in unison to make amazing shapes in the sky with lights. Truly astonishing. It took a large team weeks / months to prepare.
BBC commentator “wow that must have taken someone hours”
Fuck you you dumb fuck ignorant cunt. It’s oxygen thiefs like you that put so much pressure on dev teams to do monumental tasks in ridiculous amounts of time.
If you don’t understand what you’re talking about then don’t talk!9 -
"EMINEM!"
An intern just called me Eminem! This is hilarious. People have told me I talk fast in the past but this is the first time my talking has been considered as rapping😛31 -
People on Stack Overflow are SUCH FUCKING ASSHOLES
"You didn't show us where you declared this unimportant array, please review this article for how to ask questions"
My question doesn't concern the array, my question concerns how the system works, all code I provided was only for clarity. Read my fucking question you arrogant asshole. You have lots of points, fine, go tell your mother, but you assume I don't know how to ask a question which you clearly did not read.10 -
There was a guy back at uni who, I'd have to say is just manipulative SOB,
I say this because of two situations:
We started uni, first week of programming homework, I helped him out, second week rolls around and this happens:
SOB: hey can you give me the answers to homework for this week?
Me: no but I can explain my idea process, which I then in painstaking detail, break down everything needed to do the homework, I thought maybe he'd understand the process and get the hang of it, he answers me with this
Me: so now that I explained everything did you understand what to do?
SOB: yeah yeah I do now could you give me the answers
But that ain't the only time, nope, at the same time for another class he was part of our team, where we decided to some ambitious project combining 3d printing + an Arduino to make a turret, needless to say my team mates knew nothing of Arduinos or 3d modelling, I did some 3d modelling in my spare time so I handled that other team mates made the Arduino rotate a motor :/ best they could do, SOB does nothing, assessment days rolls around and lecturer goes around the room we show him the turret, the Arduino and proceed to say SOB has done nothing, never contacted us through the last 6 weeks, despite us trying to do so, he begins to complain saying we lied, lecture takes him out of the room because we were starting to make a scene, and he starts crying! The lecturer gives him a B+!
I then hear him one day joking to this guy that he managed to pass Class A by doing nothing and managed to get a higher grade than the rest of his group, at the time he was copying homework from a person for the first programming class because he failed!
Later I hear in my final year he was hanging out with some first years, a friend of mine sees him and says hi, why you hanging with first years, the group of first years look at him and ask how he knows them, and proceeds to question why they were told he was a first year also...
Not only this but I heard despite failing so many papers (heard he was repeating first programming class 3-4 times) he somehow managed to graduate.... I just can't understand why, oh and he has a job too, managed to get one from a guy he knew working in IT he doesn't deserve his bachelor's degree at all!14 -
You know you have been coding for a while when you see a sign on the street and think "hey, that could use a bit more margin 🤔"3
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Yo mama's so fat that if she sat on a binary tree she will convert it into a linked list in O(1) time5
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So...Today I found an SQLI (sql injection , google if you're not aware) in one of our products , I start exploring it , I get my trusty Kali on me workstation . sqlmap etc. Tell my manager it's a true positive... I start exploring the db , half the devs at my manager's place start staring at his screen as I proper fuck a QA db server... I hear a qa guy mention triangulation as sqlmap dumps a uid table in his face . I hear my manager's manager saying 'this has been in our app for so long and we found it just now ? Who found it ?' *manager proudly saying me name* 'He's still working this late ?' ...apparently now my trip to england is getting covered for both me and me gf by the company...18
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"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.105 -
Ok. Yesterday I finished building my compiler I have to say: it was a pretty darn big thing with 7000 Lines of code.
I did it alone and with almost no help.
I wanted to give some advice in case someone wants to program a compiler. I knaw its useless in times of lex and yacc, but anyway.
-have a good idea for the language
-learn about parser/lexer
-learn assembler
-do it like me: output the assembler to a file and let it assemble/link by the linux standart-tools (call the commands)
-Have fun. Fun is essential in coding
I hope I was able to help people who want to build a compiler alone... Yau can always ask questions ;~)
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