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"You gave us bad code! We ran it and now production is DOWN! Join this bridgeline now and help us fix this!"
So, as the author of the code in question, I join the bridge... And what happens next, I will simply never forget.
First, a little backstory... Another team within our company needed some vendor client software installed and maintained across the enterprise. Multiple OSes (Linux, AIX, Solaris, HPUX, etc.), so packaging and consistent update methods were a a challenge. I wrote an entire set of utilities to install, update and generally maintain the software; intending all the time that this other team would eventually own the process and code. With this in mind, I wrote extensive documentation, and conducted a formal turnover / training season with the other team.
So, fast forward to when the other team now owns my code, has been trained on how to use it, including (perhaps most importantly) how to send out updates when the vendor released upgrades to the agent software.
Now, this other team had the responsibility of releasing their first update since I gave them the process. Very simple upgrade process, already fully automated. What could have gone so horribly wrong? Did something the vendor supplied break their client?
I asked for the log files from the upgrade process. They sent them, and they looked... wrong. Very, very wrong.
Did you run the code I gave you to do this update?
"Yes, your code is broken - fix it! Production is down! Rabble, rabble, rabble!"
So, I go into our code management tool and review the _actual_ script they ran. Sure enough, it is my code... But something is very wrong.
More than 2/3rds of my code... has been commented out. The code is "there"... but has been commented out so it is not being executed. WT-actual-F?!
I question this on the bridge line. Silence. I insist someone explain what is going on. Is this a joke? Is this some kind of work version of candid camera?
Finally someone breaks the silence and explains.
And this, my friends, is the part I will never forget.
"We wanted to look through your code before we ran the update. When we looked at it, there was some stuff we didn't understand, so we commented that stuff out."
You... you didn't... understand... my some of the code... so you... you didn't ask me about it... you didn't try to actually figure out what it did... you... commented it OUT?!
"Right, we figured it was better to only run the parts we understood... But now we ran it and everything is broken and you need to fix your code."
I cannot repeat the things I said next, even here on devRant. Let's just say that call did not go well.
So, lesson learned? If you don't know what some code does? Just comment that shit out. Then blame the original author when it doesn't work.
You just cannot make this kind of stuff up.97
A young guy I work with burst into tears today, I had no idea what happened so I tried to comfort him and ask what was up.
It appears his main client had gone nuts with him because they wanted him to make an internet toolbar (think Ask.com) and he politely informed them toolbars doesn't really exist anymore and it wouldn't work on things like modern browsers or mobile devices.
Being given a polite but honest opinion was obviously something the client wasn't used to and knowing the guy was a young and fairly inexperienced, they started throwing very personal insults and asking him exactly what he knows about things (a lot more than them).
So being the big, bold, handsome senior developer I am, I immediately phoned the client back and told them to either come speak to me face-to-face and apologise to him in person or we'd terminate there contract with immediate effect. They're coming down tomorrow...
So part my rant, part a rant on behalf of a young developer who did nothing wrong and was treated like shit, I think we've all been there.
We'll see how this goes! Who the hell wants a toolbar anyway?!340
MacBook Usb power is 500mA if I plug an Android and 2000mA for iphone... I hate it, anyone knows if this can be controlled? The usb ampers? Or is another Apple "feature"4
Working with a client...the resident """sysadmin""" hasn't actually been a sysadmin since the early 90s, the last OS he _actually_ managed was SunOS 5 or something. I can't remember what he said. He hasn't kept up AT ALL with modern technologies/terminologies. He's convinced SELinux is a security hardened kernel. We've explained to him several times that it's not but he sees Linux and thinks Linux 1.0 from the 90s. It's downright embarrassing.
Now this would all be well if I didn't have to interface with him often, but the client WILL NOT give me access to their systems. So I have to go through him to get anything done. Which is over webex. So I get to watch this guy type (and mess up) basic commands over and over (he isn't aware of tab completion of any of the bash features that are super useful). So I'm telling him what to type and the delay is always just enough for him to get too far in the command to back out, so its like SSH-over-incompetence with a 500ms ping. It's truly infuriating.
Every once in a while he'll get frustrated enough to hand me control of his webex session, which isn't as painful but once again the delay is bad enough it's still a pain.
Best part is that he looks EXACTLY like Milton from Office Space. So thats one plus to this whole situation!3
Sexist prick alert!
So wearing my summer dress and generally all dolled up for a massive work summer party I hear from one of the devs from a remote location that "wow, I do not look like a developer" and "I look like I should have things explained to me at a high overview ha-ha-ha" but it was "a compliment" so me getting pissed was "overreacting" and I "should calm down"
Sorry but no.
Please do not ever say anything like that to any female developer, even if you mean it "as a compliment" (that sounds like.. you know.. like you're saying women generally prefer make up to thinking)
That's lame af if you ask me59
First day at my internship. After an explanation of how everything works and which tools the company uses, I proceeded to setup my computer.
My first assignment was to write this dynamic thing that shows all the company's projects using an XML file with all data. I had to use the front-end the previous intern made.
So when I opened his old files, I was presented with some badly indented HTML. That's not the worst part: He mixed up rows with columns. I guess it's truly like the stories here on devRant.
Just implemented a design from a UI/UX designer in code. Works perfectly on iOS, now to test on android.2
🎉 Today, I quit!
🖕🏻 Hannah from HR
🖕🏻 Hot desking
👋 I will miss (most of) the other people though. They were ok.
🤔 Now how am I gonna afford my coke and Bollinger hobbies12
I found a bug on production, but I'm not going to open an issue for it cuz I'm the only one in the office today and I'll have to fix it myself. 😣🙊
Have you ever had to get over someone? I don't mean in a relationship. I mean having that person betray you in a way that shows that they are beyond help?
That's what I'm dealing with right now. I'm not crying I've skipped: anger and denial, I've breezed through bargaining, right now in the middle of acceptance and depression.
Now I'm having a hard time admitting I had feelings for her at one point. 🙁
Currently Listening To: f*** You by Cee Lo.3
Just echoed /dev/null to .bashrc instead of .bash_history. I've been adding to that file since Ubuntu 16.04 came out.7
This week I reached a major milestone in a Machine Learning/Music Analysis project that I've been working on for a long time!!
I'm really proud to launch 'The Harmonic Algorithm' as an open source project! It represents the evolution of something that's grown with me through two thesis' (initially in music analysis and later in creative computation) and has been a vessel for my passion in both Music and Computation/Machine Learning for a number of years.
For more info, detailed usage examples (with video clips) and installation instructions for anyone inclined to try it out, have a look at the GitHub repo for the project:
"The Harmonic Algorithm, written in Haskell and R, generates musical domain specific data inside user defined constraints then filters it down and deterministically ranks it using a tailored Markov Chain model trained on ingested musical data. This presents a unique tool in the hands of the composer or performer which can be used as a writing aid, analysis device, for instrumental study or even in live performance."1
"Day" "WEEK" "Month" "All"
"DAY" "Week" "Month" "All"
*Loads Week rants*
Me: How big do you want the banner to be (in pixels)?
Client: Mhhh... do default size
DEFINE 'DEFAULT SIZE' STUPID MORON9
Ok, so I have a SAAS website where users pay a daily fee to use my platform as there fundraiser landing page.
A new client comes, asks for a discount, and got a 50% off because his brother was a previous client.
Him: Can you please add a list of the days of the year so a donor can donate a day?
Me: Sure, sounds like a good idea, and will probably take me about a week to implement with testing etc. And so I want $$ (hourly rate * one week) for the work.
Him: Don't bluff me I understand a bit in programming, it shouldn't take you more than an hour, and I am paying you, so you should do it for free.
Me: Ok, here is a fair deal, since you understand in programming, build it for me, I give you two weeks and I will pay you double what I am asking for.
Him: I don't understand enough to do it myself, I just estimated how much work it is.
Me: Forget about it, if you want me to build you this feature, you pay. If not you can go to my competition happily.
Who needs bad clients at all?
Why do they think they know everything?
And why don't they understand that time is money?5
Designing a new software product: 1000 hours
Designing a logo and picking a color scheme that pleases everyone: 689236323447876 hours1
I always hated laravel, i was like mehhh you dumb fucks lazy ass write your code, but i gotta admit i changed my mind when i tried it!3
Prior post on this story: https://devrant.com/rants/1635258/...
Apparently my dad decided to adopt the Windows file system hierarchy for his business.
He has managed to store his video, picture, and music folder INSIDE the DOCUMENTS folder. And there are seperate video, picture, and music folders outside of this folder. The business information is in all of these folders adding up to about 600GB of data in 10 different folders and 4 trees. Nothing has been deleted since 2010. WHAT IN THE EVER LOVING CHRIST ON A FUCKING POGO-STICK IS THIS ABOMINATION. I AM GOING TO JUMP OFF A CLIFF NAKED AND ON FIRE BEFORE I TRY TO SORT THIS SHIT.13
*at my study a year or longer ago*
Classmate: hey linuxxx, could you come take a look? What is this? *points at screen towards some code*
Me: you don't see it?!
Me: you really don't see it?!
Me: no for real, do you *REALLY* not see it?!
Cm: NO! TELL ME ALREADY!
Me: that's a screen 😊
Customer: I have a problem with the new BI program.
Me: ok, show me what's wrong.
Customer: when I double-click the icon the program start but does not do anything else...
Me: because you didn't ask anything to the program, you have to launch the utilities by clicking menus like, for example, to make a New report or to Open another report pre-saved.. the program doesn't know what you think.
Customer: ah.......ok, maybe It's time for me to put a paper bag (like for bread) on my head and do 5 minutes of embarassment lonely
There was a pretty big bug that I spent all day trying to pinpoint. It was getting really late, so I called it a night and went to sleep.
That night, I dreamed that I was still at the computer, debugging. I kid you not, in the dream I both found the bug and realized what the fix needed to be. In that moment, I woke up.
I ran straight to the computer down the hall, and sure enough, that was the issue and that was the fix.
Shoutout to the capabilities of the human brain.