Sometime it feels like I'm surrounded with idiots.

Got a Ticket:

Support: Please delete installation ABC from Server D.

Me: Checks everything. Installation is on Server E. Asks if this is correct?

Support: Just follow the instructions!

Me: Okey dokey. If you want me to be a hammer the installation is a nail... Drop database, Remove all files. nuke K8s resources

Support: Why did you delete the installation ABC? You should delete XYZ!

Me: Cause the ticket told to delete ABC on Server D and YOU told me to follow your instructions!

Support: Yeah but we just reused an old ticket. We wanted XYZ deleted!

It's not a big deal I can restore the shit but I hate it if a day starts with this kind of shit!

Why did I choose to be a web dev?

I didn't. That's the first job I found, and I didn't wanna starve

I AM GOING TO PERSONALLY MURDER WHICHEVER SHITBRAINED INCOMPETENT MONKEY THOUGHT IT'D BE A GOOD IDEA TO RESPOND TO ANY AND ALL API ERRORS BY SENDING A RESPONSE WITH THE STATUS CODE 200 AND A BODY OF THE FUCKING STRING "error" AND NOTHING ELSE

WHY?!!?!?!??!

For IT-guys, LinkedIn is like a reverse dating platform. Girls text you and you ignore them.

Full Night coding for project with tomorrow's deadline. Hopefully this will suffice...

When your cornflakes suggest you death... I think it’s time to make decisions.

A brief sad story.

Adding in a responsive table for posts in my cms project. This section should be fun :)

No Internet: Can't work, no internet.
Internet back: Can't work, internet.

It really sucks that there isn't a de facto package/dependency manager for c++. Conan, cppan, hunter, cget, lots of projects trying to fill this gap. Yet, none seems to be mature enough -.-

Every time I follow "# Simple step to" tutorial.
Every time an error occurs and I feel ssso fukin dumb, dmn

Slack: "People can't work when we're down"

GitHub: "Hold my beer"

C++: an octopus made by nailing extra legs onto a dog. 

– Steve Taylor

This is so true!

Opencv, you are powerful, but you are one big fat piece of horse shit. Period.

My favorite method?

Step 1: Meet Morpheus
Step 2: Swallow red pill
Step 3: Wake up from the Matrix
Step 4: Upload needed Knowledge directly to my brain
Step 5: Go back to Matrix

The little flash drive that couldn't

One of the most asked question.

When you install a program and you realize just beat a world record.

Overheard a dev bragging about how our site is fully PCI compliant. So much so even the invoice data is secure. My BS meter went off, so I decided to look at what 'secure' code looked like.

I get very annoyed by sites that ask for too many privileges. If I want to comment on some post why would I give write access to all my source code repositories?

Windows the killer.

Before I learned software development, API sounded like a kind of beer.
Today I used the term so often that I have in fact recently tried to order an API at a bar.

No documentation....yeah....just figuring it out! 🤔😲

F-ck maven, i wan't my gradle back :(

I will start my own companies:-
A.I. Job Centre (true A.I. would get bored of their employer and search for greater challenges)
A.I. Counselling (dev life)
A.I. Pornsites (because all A.I. should have a binary life of work and play <3)
A cake factory (so the cake is not a lie)
A.I. devRant (to lower their work efficiency)

I then use the funds from the above to hire a team and we'd develop a flawless Wannacry for A.I. (for a dementia like effect)

You can all have your jobs back and you're welcome.

New rule: if you interview for a job w/descriptors like "super hero" "badass" or "ninja" in the description, you MUST show up in costume.

Eh, windows, i do not think my RAM is that fast...