My Friend: Dude our Linux Server is not working anymore!

Me: What? What did you do?

My friend: Nothing I swear!

Me: But you were last on it?

My friend: Yes. I just wanted to run a bash file and needed to give it permissions.

Me : WHAT DID YOU ENTER???!

My Friend: Chill man, just this command I found on the internet
chmod -R 600 /
chown -R root:root /

Me: WHY ARE YOU EVEN IN ROOT AND GOD DAMMIT WHY ARE YOU EVEN USING SOME RANDOM COMMAND FROM THE INTERNET. YOU KNOW YOU SHOULD NOT DO THIS OR JUST ASK!

My friend: Ok I did something wrong, how can I fix it?

Me: Did you make a backup or rsync of the server?

My friend: No. I just wanted to run this file.

Me: You holocausted the server. FUCK MY LIFE

RandomGuy: I can't seem to play some videos on my laptop. Can you help?

LinuxPro: You have to install Arch Linux to do that. Windows 10 sucks.

This type of websites need to chill 😄

Chill the fuck down, AI won't take over humanity anytime soon

I thought I was a hardcore geek until I came on here.

Super chill enviroment tho

Programmers are some of the nicest people you will meet.

Except the 12 year old hackers.

Sometimes when I see
#include<stdio.h>

I am reading it as
#include<studio.h>

Years ago we had a visit from a startup company developing a firewall and I got the chance to talk with one of their devs.

He explained the subtleties of security holes in websites and after I said something about our site being secure thanks to being behind a firewall he gently asked what would happen if he entered a specially crafted test into one of the text fields ... and he gave an example ...

I got a chill, went back to my seat and traced what it would do ...

That was when I learned about sql injection and his example would have killed the DB :/

Before going home I designed a way to secure the input which I then refined over a few days.

We still use that today after 17 years.

That one single sentence really showed to never be to proud of our security and I realized how vulnerable our site was.

Request: Stackoverflow-like theme for devRant so I can chill and read rants on work while the rest of my colleagues believe I'm working/ investigating a bug

:)

Watching Netflix alone when gf asks if she can join, or preferrably inner join.

I love this girl to death 😍

!!good news
!!great news
!!linux dev lappy recommendations?

So, @Root might finally have a job! Woo!
(Pending a background check, drug test, cavity search, ...)

I'm excited, and kind of giddy. It's an open-office setup, but the devs are chill, the boss is chill (reminds me a bit of myself thus far, just... nice), pay is decent too. Drive is hell, but everything else feels kinda cushy. The parent company is super-stuffy corporate and has an HR and red tape fetish, but supposedly I won't have to interact with them at all. I start as soon as all of the background check nonsense comes through. (Don't get me started on that, please.)

One of the questions that came up, however, is what type of system I wanted to use. I requested a Linux lappy, and that's sadly a bit beyond the parent company's nontechnical IT department. They asked me for links to a few specific machines on amazon for options. (MacBook Pro or equivalent)

That's where this question comes in: Which lappys make great dev machines and also have decent linux (Debian/Mint/Ubuntu) support? The role is backend Rails development + some devops, so I don't need super-fancy graphics, though I will be attaching a 4k (hopefully IPS) display because space and pretty colors.

Recommendations welcome, as I should get back to them today!

You always need to remind yourself that where you began :)

I really fucking need to learn to relax/chill out.

Fucked up something at work a few days ago but it didn't seem to be that big of a deal.

Then, yesterday, someone put a ticket on my name from the person/account I fucked something up with.

I spend yesterday evening and this morning worrying so much that I literally constantly had to talk myself down/calm

Asked this morning if it would be fixable easily because I couldn't hold my nerves anymore.

"oh yeah that'll take just a few minutes, just put the ticket on my name!"

I seriously need to learn how to control this 😞

Java is to JavaScript

: what Car is to Carpet
: what Swift is to Suzuki Swift
: what Perl is to a Pearl
: what Ruby is to a Ruby Gemstone
: what Go is to Go Home
: what Shell is to Sea Shell
: what Bash is to Big Bash
: what Alice is to Alice in wonderland
: what Rust is to Rusty Theron
: what Awk is to your Awkward cousin
: what Dart is to Darts
: what Julia is to Julia Roberts
: what Korn is to Corn
: what Maple is to Syrup
: what Caml is to a Camel
: what CHILL is to Netflix
: what Crack is to Crack
: what Curl is to Curls
: what Hugo is to Boss

To be continued..

Have a joke? Say it in comments
Criteria : programming language on left , analog on right

To my ex manager

you left to berlin, and left me to rot

my new lead sucks, i kid you not

it was ok if I slacked off, You used to be chill

But my new lead is uptight, he's on my list to kill

I wanna run errands in work hours, is that so bad?

was doing so for years, now i lost what i had

I cant drive in peace, coz i know he'd call

so i had to cancel plans to go to the mall

its like 10 to 6 is now constant work

I hate my new lead, he is such a jerk

I'm a week into my new job right now. What do I love the most about it?

Learning things all day long and getting paid for it!

I'm learning about hosting things, DNS, cyber security, configurations, Linux (although my current skill set with Linux has been enough for now) and so on!

Hell, easy day today (not that many tickets) so decided to start learning Ansible! Next to that I've gotta learn vim (it just autocorrected that to cum.... O.o), work with hosting panels, mail stuffs (dns, debugging etc etc) and so fucking on.

The boss hasn't been at location yet which will happen tomorrow but he seemed like a very chill guy.

I love this!

How do I know my office is pretty chill?

My lead dev just sent me a text with:

"U suck penis"

I said "wow, uncalled for"

And then he said:

"U r uncalled for"

Well alrighty then

What should you do when you find dfox ++ your rant?

Wrong - To take screenshot and post about it and say you are feeling like a celebrity.

Correct - Stay calm. Chill.

:)

When you're a sql request that has done it's job

How i got to devRant.

Boss comes in, sees me super chill.
Other people enter, boss sees me not chill.

Sends me an email and says "Enjoy".

I love this guy :')

Ps. Hope he doesn't expect work today

As a full time remote employee it gets lonely. Im getting ready to turn my home into a co-working space :

* Plenty of space with tables and couches

* Gigabit Internet backed by enterprise networking gear

* Lots of fresh ground coffee

* Local Kubernetes server !

* dog friendly chill space

* kid friendly play areas during the summer

* Mountain home with backyard hiking trails , wildlife lookout (wild deer live in my back yard), and fireplaces

What else would you want in your co-work space-at-my-place (TM)?

No hate 😅

Don't develop depression, develop a personality instead, be more outgoing and outspoken, work out, dress better and make your life shit that goes beyond coding.

Tired of people in tech being this way. Everyone acts as if monkeying away on the keyboard makes them some sort of autistic genius that is too good for everyone else.

Some of you have the social skillset of a fucking potato.

You code dude. Most of you develop websites...chill the fuck out.

!rant Decided to use the DevTools audit thing to try to improve my personal website. An embarrassing number of hours later and I finally have to tell the perfectionist in me to chill.

*Makes joke in dev community*
RandomGuy: "well actually, that's not correct. The truth is blah blah blah"

Can you please just for like 5mins enjoy the joke and have a laugh?
All you're doing is stroking your own ego.

Just found this gem on Twitters API...
When your app gets too excited they return status code 420 to tell you to chill! 😂😂😂

Fyi : For the non web-devs out there 420 is an invalid http code.

So Twitter apparently used http status code "420 - Enhance your calm" to notify the client that it was sending too many requests (basically chill the **** out). Note the status code number as well 😁

Image from wikipedia.

!rant

It's Friday and my boss let us off work early...

So imma just chill and try to catch the sun

This one hits home a bit.

So my friend from my first college hits me up, asks about what's going on and shit. It's all chill, we took a bunch of programming classes together, so it we weren't intimate friends just kinda familiar with each other. He says he's having trouble finding work, they all turn him down due to a lack of experience. I suggest we work on a project together. Anything. He thinks it's a good idea and we plan to meet up.

We meet up, long story short decided on an Android app. I failed setting up git but whatever, I'll fix it at home. He seems excited, I'm excited...

...Never heard back from him again. Won't answer texts, Skype, anything.

No, no, no.
Chill y'all.
We meant Pornohub.
Yours truly
Microsoft

Beginner: I wrote 1,000 lines of code!
Intermediate: I deleted 1,000 lines of code!
Expert: I prevented code from being written!

Everybody boasting about lots of projects on github, and tons of stuff to show for.

Those that don't - are usually stressed that they don't have anything to show.

I work at a big-ish company, and we have tens of people in IT. Some of them are OK, others are gods.

Today I looked at their github profile. What do you think I saw?
Hello world applications?
Unfinished frameworks?
Forks with 1 line of change?

kind'a... That's for the people that have the richest profile. The rest - at most have a couple of projects with 2 files in them:
.gitignore (empty)
LICENSE (GPL)

So just chill. Do what you like, don't judge yourself too hard, and try to also make some money.
Less stress, be happy.

I'm surprised by the ability of coworkers to get on my nerves. Here's an example...

Me: "Just upload those files you idiot! I got called up three times all because you couldn't upload this thing!"

Co-Worker: "Chill bro, I've got it all here safe and secure on my computer"

Me: "....."
(In mind: Should I do to him what Walter did in breaking bad.... Drown him in a vat of acid. Saves me the trouble of hiding the body)

Chilling with chill music at a chilly sunset w/o chilly haze between chilly fairy chimneys.

Do you really expect that I can debug in a few minutes, a part of the software that I didn't build and have never seen before and have no knowledge of the external, third-party web service that code is reaching out to?

Dude, flippin' chill, take a walk, grab a drink, pop some popcorn and give me some time to figure out what the hell this code is doing so I can properly debug it!

You know what it turned out to be? Wrong test data used for the 3rd party service. So in essence... Nothing was wrong! Frickity frack!

Hot take: PHP is pretty good nowadays.

I'm a Laravel dev right now and things just get done so quickly. Every language has its problems but the meme of PHP hate seems to be made more out of ignorance these days. You could find just as many problems with any other language.

For those that say I'm biased because I work through the framework more than the language, I'd ask don't you do the same? ASP.NET, Java EE, the millions of JS frameworks, all these also make your life easier within their languages.

In the end, work with what makes you happy and productive and be done with it.

When u did too much geocoding and map stuff. People ask me where u live, i be like I live at lat 43.8 lng -79.3. Find me homie, let's chill

*Plays Overwatch to relieve stress.*

"$!#/&%"

*Takes a break from Overwatch to 'chill out'*

Shame me into coming back, why don't you?

Damn, devRant. No chill.

!nonRant
First few days as a professional software engineer (c# .net) have gone decent. Made my first bigger commit today started working on a small new feature that requires more work.
CoWorkers are really nice, boss is cool, super chill over all. #feelsgood

This code isn't working right, better check the log...

ERROR: There was an error.

Alright, cool, chill. Thanks for the top notch error handling. 👌

What a rewarding weekend!

Not once did I touch my laptop :)

Sorry, that was meant for RANDOM.. My bad

Chill guys, data collection is just archaeology in advance.

I know what I'm watching at the next movie night 👌 '95 tutorials & chill.

Internet down at work

It's christmas you fuckers, turn off your damn computers.

Love you all, have a good one.❤🎄

A Month ago...
Me: when are you going to complete the report
Friend: we can do it in minutes
Me: you can't Ctrl + c and Ctrl +v as there is plagiarism check
Friend: we have spin bot
Me: you do that now itself . if something happens? You can join me .
Friend: just chill

Now ...
Me: done with report
Friend: feeding it to spin bot!

Feeds text related to database security....

Spin bot:
Garbage collector == city worker
SQL statements == SQL explanation
SQL queries == SQL interrogation
SQL injection == SQL infusion
Attack == assault
Malicious == noxious
Data integrity == information uprightness
Sensitive == touchy
.....
Me: told you so...
**spin not == article rewriter

Never give up with the bugs, we are born to be brave, chill enjoy the ride

Devs got to chill

How can you tell if someone's a node.js coder?
Don't worry they'll tell you.

What do I dislike about node.js?
The fanboys.
Seriously you guys need to chill out. Your language is not the end of all other languages. It isn't going to replace PHP or Python or Ruby. It's not going to be the only thing around in 4 years.
I'm not a fan of JavaScript, I just don't like the language. I don't care about all the advantages and the other bs you're shouting about. If I want that feature I'm sure I can find a way to get it in my language.
Now shoo fly you're bothering me

TIL that TI has no goddamn chill

Texas Instruments released the TI-83+ calculator model in 1996. The Z80 was not at all stock and has the following features:

- 3 access levels (priveleged kernel, kernel, user)
- Locking Flash (R/O when locked for most pages, some pages protected and unreadable as well, only unlockable from protected Flash pages by reading a certain order of bits then setting a port)
- Locking hardware ports (lock state always the same as flash)
- Customizable execution whitelist range (via locked ports)
- Configurable hardware (Flash/RAM size changeable in software via locked ports, max RAM is 8MB which is fucking mental compared to the 64k in the thing)
- Userland virtualization (always-on)
- Reset on violation of security model
- Multithreading
- Software-overclockable CPU
- Hardware MD5 and cert handling

TI made a calculator in 1996 with security features PCs wouldn't see until like 2010 what the *actual* fuck

instead of ranting why php sucks or your co-worker being an ass in coding, why not have some of this?

I thought I'd share the Minecraft (Java version) server here. When you're done ranting and decapitating your managers, maybe you can chill here. So far, only Root and I are playing here though I will start inviting some people from Discord too.

Just send me your Minecraft username and credit card information so I can send you the server details and whitelist you.

Email: zombossjoey@tutanota.com
Discord: zombossjoey#3935

Mods are Conquest Reforged and Pam's Harvestcraft. We'll be adding more soon.

I’ve begun to notice a distinct pattern with devs. I realise it has probably always been there but Im just thinking out loud as Ive started to actively notice it.

*Dev has literally one problem with a library/framework/environment*

“Holy crap <NAME> is the worst thing ever!! its actually worse than an STD. whoever made it needs to quit making software and become a goat farmer” (paraphrasing of course)

What is it with us that the second we have difficulty with a library or framework we immediately brand it as a cancerous polyp on the anus of humanity?

Good morning people. Holidays in Malta. Trying to forget html, css, php, MySQL and JavaScript 🙂 ... But my heart is with you 😂

Shit morning, I work in tech, so I guess it is related haha.

First, I wake up and it is cold. Like -12 degrees Fahrenheit. With wind-chill, feels like -29 according to Google. Then, while getting ready for work, my only belt breaks. Not a little, but literally splits in half! Fucking sucks, as my pants keep partially falling down and my shirt keeps untucking.

I go out in this cold that could kill a polar bear, go to start my car. Can you fucking guess? Dead fucking battery. Fuck! Now I am super late to work.

Make it to work, and guess what? My manager just promised 100% completion by Friday, and we are weeks behind! Fucking sucks... I think my coworker snapped, as he keeps hyperventilating at his desk for no reason. Oh and our best coder just quit...

Waiting to either wreck my car or find out my dog is dead when I get home...

Y'all need to chill!

**DO NOT** downvote a newbie's post without telling them why. It may sound like a spam to you, but it's someone's best effort at an icebreaker joke. 😠

Only if developers got laid as much as they got paid.
*Sighs*

Today I had my first decent pull request accepted.

It wasn't the biggest problem, but it made a chrome extension not work, and the author and other users couldn't figure it out.

The author seems very chill and called me 'the man' and offered me a drink.
It felt nice.

5 minutes into render and chill and your computer gives you this look:

Xcode 8 Update...this might take a while...

Clever 😀

Lets meet and chill ;)

Don't do like my work supervisor:

Step 1:
*gives task*
Me, starts working on task early in the morning
*task requires his interfering, and is stalled without it*
Me, messages supervisor

Step 2:
*supervisor takes the whole work day to reply, saying that he didn't have time to look into it*

Step 3:
Me, does almost nothing at work the whole day; closes laptop upon seeing the message of the supervisor

Step 4:
Profit: go home early

When I’m at work I can’t wait to get home to work on personal projects only to get home with no energy and just procrastinate and/or play games entire weekend/afternoon.
Think is i also feel extremely guilty if i try to relax and do nothing, but at the same time able to understand that i need time to chill, just can’t get in a positive mindset about it. Am i the only one?

Some of y'all are way too intense. Smoke some weed or something man shit. Y'all be acting passionate over nothing. Breathe in, breathe out

Wanted to chill & code outside but instead I got bit by a bitch ass mosquito

My bitch ass employer won't allow work from home saying unless government enforces it, he can't allow it and reason he is giving is that wE wOn't be AbLE tO communicAtE via SkyPE?
I am so pissed that such people. Everyone citizen has non serious attitude that they saying things like "Nothing gonna happen", "Chill, you are panic way to much about the Corona virus", while number of cases are increasing exponentially here too!
WTF,
I have realized that people don't understand something unless it happens to them.
This is shit.
As rational beings, we should be taking drastic measures while we can but NO!
Fuck You!

When you are into Dota2 trying to forget everything after stressful day and your manager messages you if you have spare 10 minutes to discuss next weeks' upcoming tasks.

Hell NO!! Let me play and chill.

I enjoy listening to Metalcore while coding. It really helps me calm down and focus/concentrate (the irony of that whilst having someone scream right into my ears 😂). It also helps me chill and regulate my emotions better. Am I weird? What helps you focus and code better?

Whenever a friend is raging over some bug i'm like:

Calm down... relax... write a rant... get schwifty...

Just got a job as a junior PHP dev. Company is really chill as long as the work gets done. I can learn a lot here, and I am doing backend stuff mostly.

Got a great PC with 2 big screens and Ubuntu freshly installed by me.

Loving it so far!

We got upgraded from PHP4 to 7 last night and everything went fine without a hitch....yet why do a have a chill up my spine writing this?

MY OPENCV SIDEPROJECT WORKS!!

Now I can chill in bed and control the computer with a laser pointer :)

Top advice to give to a new dev? Go back in time and download devRant, then buy a rubber ducky. Yes, I finally got mine 👍🏻

Schedule tonight = Netflix && chill();

WebDev jobs should come with big warning signs:
"You absolutely will lose your sanity!"
"IE11 might indirectly lead to impotence!"
"You won't get laid more often by using CSS Grid!"
"You will have to fix websites which only appear broken on iOS Safari!"
"Get some extra terabytes ready for your node modules!"
"Get ready to yarnify your npm dockerized webassembly blobs while gulping on your mocha chai latte with no karma!"

Can't we just go back to the good old times with Quick Basic and chill?
Man, the ladies were flocking around those programmer boyz, I tell ya... Klickety klackety on the mechanical

while (weekend) {
chill();
}

I wanted to be a dev when the only on campus job that paid more than minimum wage was titled "Web Developer". It paid 13 bucks / hour. AWYEAH.

npm WARN deprecated

The 3 words I ignore most in my life.

When you need to chill while coding

The struggle is real:

"Honey, it's five in the morning. Go to bed!"

"But mom, I am programming this-"

"GO TO BED NOW!!!"

"Damn mom, chill. I'm going now"

Coders get yourself a electronics friend and electronic heads get yourself a coder.

I got a friend who studies engineering and really loves it and i do software development with a passion.
And we both love to chill with some drinks every now and then.

The result: We're currently creating a thing which fills you drinks via a button press on your phone.😁
Optional paypal payment for every drink for use at parties of course.(;

Some iProgrammers will blow their brain out with this

I listen to some nice music, while programming.
Mostly Electro Swing, Chill and Pop.

It's weekend you fucks.🍕❤

I recently came across my old interview assignment code which I had written while I was still in college. Oh my God, it was cringy! It was such crappy code 😂

My coworker (who had interviewed me) saw it too. He was surprisingly very chill about it, saying that the code is not bad, it just shows a lack of experience. I think I will choose to believe him 🙃

Continued from previous post.

As the chill wind blows outside, the man picks up his laptop and phone. Slowly walks towards his bed and lifts an old hoodie. With easy he slides it on him, pulls the hood over his head. He turns around facing the window. On the back of his old hoodie, there is a design which looks faded and discolored. Below it some words which too are faded. He walks towards the window and glances on the street. It's still empty. All he can hear is the wind.
"Perfect", he says to himself and walks out his room.
As he is about to exit the building, he sees an Apache chopper passing above. It zooms above the street. A wild guess he makes, probably it's heading where he is heading.
His phone vibrates with a message.
"It's ready".

Tough days are standard are they not?

A good ritual is forcing yourself outside and get some fresh air, don’t have a single thought of what it is you were doing and just destress.

I also find punching something therapeutic aswell so there’s always that option 😅

Honestly, i hate math or actually i hate that i suck at it. I graduated CS and if u put a math problem any bit more advanced than basic linear equations i will turn red. I wish i was good at it. I think if i was, id be able to do much more cool shit because combining math and the ability to control a computer basically makes you a demi god.

If i had some free time i’d love to go over the basics on khan academy or something. But free time doesnt come by a lot coz we’re too busy trying to make money and id rather just rest and chill when it does.

Tho if a cute girl offered to tutor me in that free time i’d definitely say yes 🧐

I recently got a notification that said "the are 590 new rants since your last visit" or something like that.

At the time that I got that notification the last time I logged on was only a day or two ago. And I'm not even subbed to that many people!

You all need to chill the fuck out. It shouldn't be healthy for you all to be this angry all the damn time.

Was looking for some documentation, Unity needs to chill out.

After a very busy week I’m enjoying my Friday evening with a nice glass of Tullamore, a few slices of my medium cooked housekeepers roast and some vintage-ish music videos on the projector.

Because of homeoffice I forgot how good it feels to be exhausted.

Enjoy your weekends everyone🥃

And don’t even think about commenting some shit about Lana, she’s a-fucking-mazing😬

I hate social media because I have to keep it in one way or the other (don't ask)

As such, I have to deal with multiple bullshit that I read from people.

The trust fund baby with a daddy selected job posting images on him on Cancun "lIfe Is To Be EnjOyeD, go AhEaD trAvEl" <--- bitch I work. I am happy that you enjoy shit but fuck me man have some sense of reality.

Many more shit like that, plus, it is a pandemic fuckhead, chill the fuck out.

The retarded veteran that continues to cry about a football player kneeling on a football match.....even though he was told by a fucking ex Special Forces to take a knee in peaceful protest.

Mexican adults talking about American politics.....dude you live in FUCKING MEXICO your fucking president is a national MEME

the list continues, I hate social media.

!Dev

Okay so this is a very embarrassing story but I guess it's kinda funny so I thought I'd share it anyway.

I was playing a tabletennis game in VR and my opponent was a pretty chill guy who started blasting metal music. We were just casually vibing and then we started headbanging. Not a good idea with a VR headset on your head. There are two deep scratches right on my forehead now. Two perfect parallel lines.

I lost the game, and the smoothness of my forehead.

Okay kids, never headbang with a VR headset on, remember that.

I go to my day job and people ask:

'So what you going to do with your 3 days off?'

'I'm going to code'

'Noooo you should relax and chill'

'I WISH!!!'

Look here sir. If I have raised 12 defects on the feature you were working on its not a personal attack... I am not trying to publicly humilate you or doubting your ninja coding skills. We are on the same team. Just trying to make a better product that's my job as qa. So chill out with passive aggressive comments on the tickets.

You don't hear me making a peep when you take my name and say I missed the issue if someone higher up points out the same defects.

Preparing my presentation about privacy and mass surveillance with some coffee. :)

Fight over email thread

From: manager
To: Sr. Manager
CC: ME
Subject: blah blah blah

Me: just chill

There's a lotta memes about Google spazzing out whenever you log into a new device, but Fitbit is even worse lol

I not only get a notification that my Fitbit's battery is low, I also get a fucking email about it.

Like y'all chill out. I know it's low.

I'm sure this can be disabled somewhere, but I'mma probably get a new watch soon so I'm too lazy to deal with it

I'm at a church right now because of ties.

I'm a post christian agnostic.

I'm so not chill right now.

OTOH, 1k internet points yay

Wake Up. Cook. Eat. Work. Clean. Meetings. Work. Eat. Work. Netflix & Chill. Sleep. Repeat. 😎😝

How does your Work from Home look like?🧐

Rapid firing some mini rants.

Fuck people that go on vacation and post 100 pictures of it. Chill out fam. I can guarantee you that 95% of your followers don't give a shit. Keep the posts minimal; 3-5 is ideal with 5-7 being acceptable.

People that post shit like r/whooosh in the comments on posts can suck a dick. That's not necessary asshats.

Why the fuck do the Android versions of every major app suck ass? Like c'mon man. It's the most widely used mobile OS. Take Apple's dick out your ass and fix this garbage. (I get that supporting the cheap ass devices that never get OS updates is one thing, but ffs im using a Pixel. Get your shit together.)

This TED talk was brought to you by Stuxnet. Thanks for coming.

I met a really really nice guy who I'd love to meet irl, @ribchinski
He's the type of guy who's so chill you'd want to fuck a goat with him, you get me?

Product gets launched in 2 hours. Just casually updating the documentation. Nice chill day. Everything tested and validated.

Then some random f**king designer comes barging in vomiting all these "necessary" features to the product owner.

This was yesterday. The designer and product owner are currently complaining to us devs that there are bugs everywhere...

I need a beer.

What's the point in having a relaxation/fun/chill zone/room in your company when you never have the time to use it except maybe on your lunch break? 🤔🤔

Life is fucking mental... Only programming keeps me chill and happy

//rant

So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.

It works, it's done.

Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.

And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!

It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.

Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.

//rant done

Ya sure 0-2 yes experience with all those requirements + 5 more items hidden cuz of my tiny screen.

What is even more interesting they would like that person to know Swift UI.... It's not even out of beta ....

Also must know C#? For real... Those people do xamarine and native projects and they r not even a software company, they sepcialize in architecture

I hate it when people do this, like take the best at lowest price, that poor Dev is busting his ass to get your job done and you take the profit and give him the remaining change?
Hope this world doesn't get worse than it is....

By the way, job is for Full stack iOS developer 🙄

User: *provides only traffic video*
Coco:

This is how I figured out I figured out how to fix my proxy settings.

Can not Netflix and chill (work) anymore.

Got informed that there is a bug in production that needs to be addressed on top priority.

Me opens Android studio to check.

Android studio: chill bro

1. Gaming
2. Music "development" (I suck tho)
3. Netflix and chill, just without Netflix
4. Trying to write a book and procrastination is going great so far
5. Cats. Are. Life

Just because you have nowhere to go for a vacation right now, it does not mean there’s no point taking a holiday.

You’re still human and besides, now you’re working double hours - house work + office work + kids & family!

PS - You work to live not vice-versa :)

Start-up I'm working for as a front-end dev is pretty nice. I have good hardware, free coffee and my coworkers are all decent people. My boss is chill, and I have flexible work hours.

There is this one policy for writing code, however. And I simply cannot understand it, nor can I ignore it because of code reviews: no comments in production code.

I mean, what? Why? Comments are nice, and they make life easier for the future maintainers. At least let me put a small two-liner explaining why I did stuff this or that way. But no, I only get to explain it verbally (once) to the person reviewing my PR. Why, man?

My client thinks Internet Explorer is the only Internet Browser in the world. I argued with her for 10 minutes then I noticed she felt a bit stupid. I was afraid she might stop further payment so I said "I was just joking, you can chill now".

Spent 3 hours today digging through 3rd party libraries, trying to get them all to work together nicely.

The solution? A one line fix in my own source.

FACEPALM!!!

spoiler: not a rant
sometimes you just gotta take some time out from looking at the monitor and chill like it's the infinity.
Location: Hounslow Central, London, UK

People need to stop bitching about the Apple and Microsoft products announced. Just chill out and keep on coding. I want to see rants about developing not petty arguments.

Taken a day off due to sickness, boss calls and said “can you fix an error on xyz website? it's urgent.”
I said No, I'm in hospital I can't. Even though I was at home.
He said “please look once whenever you'll reach home.”
Me: “sure.”
Idiot got no chill.
GFY

Doing some code on a rainy night while listening to "Kavinsky - Nightcall"..
What's better than this?

Best programmer date:

Eclipse & chill.

Ya ya MS bought GitHub... Like anything is gonna change now. Chill. Not even the API will be shifted sideways, MS will lose so much money if they fuck this one up that they won't risk doing anything stupid.

GitHub will likely stay the same, and who knows, maybe will even get new features. Am I the only one here who's excited/curious about this??

I've really struggled to make friends with people who code... and it's been absolutely frustrating. Does everyone in this industry have a god complex or something? Everyone I try to make friends with ends up being super narcissistic and self obsessed it's crazy. One of them wanted to be my mentor a while back, and we still talk occasionally, but after getting to know him I decided I didn't want to learn from him. It turns out he only mentors people to showboat his greatness and claim later that all their success is directly his doing. I decided I wasn't going to be one of those people and I only ever had 2 sessions from him. One of the best choices I've ever made. But I've found a lot of people who are programmers tend to be a lot like him. A lot of them I talk to will hit me up to brag about themselves or what they've done. But none ever ask what's been up with me or how my journey is doing? Is this just a normal thing in this industry or am I just meeting terrible people. It's made me appreciate my slightly dumber friends, cause at least they care about me and it shows.

More a rant than anything, but genuinely curious if anyone else has this issue... I'm starting my bootcamp soon and I'm hoping to make friends but I'm so concerned about this it's kind of giving me anxiety.

How to fucking tell my fucking new employee to start working instead of texting? Dude cant survive 15min without pulling out his phone and texting. I told him to at least timebox his work, like focus on work 1 hour and then text for 5 minutes.

By 5min texting and 5min working he wont learn shit. Im not paying him for sitting and texting.

Problem is, he's a friend of a friend so for some reason he feels quite chill here since he didnt have to bust his ass to get here. Also its his first work.

Okay. So I have a long weekend though starting tomorrow and can't mountain trek this weekend.

What to do?

a. Spam easiest freelance jobs
b. Chill
c. What's your bet?

The senior (literally, he's like 100, chill dude otherwise, super smart) wrote on an issue that we "could not ~massage~ the data on the backend, have to be done on the front".

I don't know what massaging the data means but now it's in the codebase. I have a locationMassager, getMassagedData, massaging: boolean

Seriously though when did that become a thing? I did not sign for body work

The amounts of confusion, shame, and sweat after an interview is devastating...

> Be me
> Wake up
> Have no motivation
> Lay still for a long time
> Go pee
> Go get food
> Up so might as well get ready for school/college
> Go to college
> Chill with the usual peeps
> Maybe get food
> Have a little more motivation because of food and peeps
> Go home
> Do hw if any
> CS:GO with usual peeps
> Clean myself
> aurman -Syu --noconfirm && shutdown now
> Go sleep

Meowflix & chill 😽

A lot of devs I meet are pretty cool but a handful, including some on here, seem to think the world revolves around them and they deserve to have the ground dusted off in front of them.

That's fucking narcissistic and you need a reality check if you're like that. It's great you're passionate about your knowledge but you're not out here taking down terries and saving children from burning buildings, like calm down with the self righteousness

Just had to get that out after one too many "how dare anyone looketh unto me unless I request it in advance" posts. Like chill out, you're not that special 🙄

Well, today was a fun day playing with Qubes OS. I really did nothing really difficult, I created a template for multimedia pruposes (Netflix, Amazon Prime, Spotify and VLC) based on debian and then create a domain based on that same template.

It works

Still need to fix the screen tearing, but it is nothing really serious, in fact I probably just change the graphic card to the integrated on the motherboard to see if something change.

Probably the next issue will be set a few domains for specific issues:

- Dev [personal]: This will be used for my personal projects.
- Dev [non personal]: For those times I collab with someone / not my stuff
- [√] Work: mail, msTeams, whatever from my job.
- Bank Stuff: I can asure you that
- [√] Multimedia: chill n stuff

and thats all for now.

PD: Ctrl + C, Ctrl + V Will be a nightmare xD

project on Android Studio not responding. what can one engage in for 4 hours?

What do you use YouTube/NewPipe for?

I am using it to fall asleep when nothing else helps. Boring YouTubers are good for such a reason, guys lol.
I use it to do sport, to chill, to game, to be productive, to learn, to have some noise when I am bored (e.g. eating).
Offline music while taking a shower.

So tell me... What do you use it for?

I get anxiety when I have no work for days,

I am like the fuck is wrong with you body. You’re suppose to be chill, not a monster that wants to work all the time.

There is this dude called Richard Eng which is sort of famous for 2 things:
First: he is known as *the* Smalltall evangelist of mothern times. And he constantly writes about it. Which is fine since he tries to attract new users to this beautiful and simple little language.

Second: his constant bashing of other technologies, mainly Javascript stating that it is the most harmful tech known to man.

The thing is, saying "use this because that is shit" is never going to convince a community, specifically one as potent as that of the JS community. And to make it worse...the dude links his reasoning about bad languages to articles he wrote. As in "this is shit, look at my completely biased article regarding why its shit"

Once he is confronted about it he links back to his own writings. Much like christian fanatics do
"good is real because it says so in the bible"
"but how can you trust that resource?"
"Because the bible is the word of God"
"and how do you know?"
"Because it is in the bible"

Circular arguments like that cannot be taken seriously. And what this guy does for the Smalltalk community hurts more than it helps really.

Claims like those are all around us. If we were to believe or consider them depending on who said what then we would never have the amazing cluster of tech choices that we have.

Take c++. It is absolutely powerful and gives you the ability to do pretty much anything. If we were to take Linus Torvalds's word about it being shit and only having subpar development we would miss on absolutely powerful tools.

The same came to me from Evee, writer of "PHP a fractal of bad design" or the "Node.js is cancer" article.

You are never going to please anyone with anything. I go by live and let live, and whilst I don't like some technologies I certainly don't look down on those that do.

Automate & chill

Best team experience?

Well, first I'd like to mention that after some more experience in the field since, I realize that this company had some pretty terrible management infrastructure...

Nonetheless, I think my best team experience had to have been during my first programming job because my project manager... WAS A FREAKING DEVELOPER! It wasn't his job to be a developer obviously, but we were a small team essentially developing waterfall style, and he had to pick up the slack now and then for certain issues. The man was a genius and everyone appreciated him because you could talk to him about anything dev related and he would get it. The rest of my team was also very chill too, so it was all in all just a fun experience, stressful as it may have been at times.

I have not since had such a diversified project manager 😟 but then again, not the PM's job to touch code...

Usually my workplace is pretty chill, but today something rantworthy happened!

During code review, I found this guy had styled each element inside his components using nth-child selectors. For instance, in a card the heading was styled by nth-child(1), the text was styled by nth-child(2) and so on... No use of actual fucking classnames.

When I pointed this out, he told me it was actually the better way of doing things because classnames increase the size of the HTML document!

He also claimed proudly that nth-child() is more efficient in performance (idk - anybody can confirm this?)

I'm the only "css guy" there so nobody could second my views. Posting it here so that I can show this to him tomorrow by demonstrating what opinion other css devs have on this and prove my concerns / convince him to change his code.

Oh whats that, my fucking internet banking is broken? That's chill.

[UPDATE] on my newly joined internship

Considering how corporate the organisation is, I'm surprised how chill everyone is. My team consists of mostly millennials, which is great!
Everyone is super helpful, I honestly thought it'd be shitty experience joining in and it'd all be so formal but none!
First few days I got no work, so I went and asked my mentor and he just laughed and said go home, watch Netflix, which I definitely didn't expected cause corporates

I got web testing work twice (sad I didn't get more, but in time it will increase), got some research work currently which is cool too.

Honestly, I wasn't excited to join as I didn't know what kinda work would I even get(it was pretty vague) but I'm glad I got this.
I'll continue to update here, and sorry I couldn't update any sooner

Cheers my dudes

Dear udemy, please chill. I am glad you found me, but I am not looking for a every-single-youtube-video type of relationship.

Finished downloading lots of tutorial videos. Now time to watch all of this. This is like Netflix for me. I don't watch much Netflix instead I watch lots of tutorial videos and practice them. Skills development rather than Netflix and chill. 😀

It's super chill in office today... making me feel super lethargic...

I've literally ignored. My mates twice now , all I want is to chill and code.

I think other people don't get that. Honestly Xmas is far more draining then anything

How can I just "chill"?!

Our project's demo is coming up soon and since we there only two in the team we have to work together.

I did all the coding and my so-called "team mate" just watched behind my back or refreshed the git!!!!

And we get the same pay. 😧😤

F.M.L.

Before I learned software development, API sounded like a kind of beer.
Today I used the term so often that I have in fact recently tried to order an API at a bar.

// This part of the code should never run

Came across that lovely comment when fixing a reported bug. Guess where the bug was? You guessed it XD

!dev related

I think I might need to visit the doctor soon.

I just can't get hungry and if I do try and eat I feel like shit not even 10 minutes after. Only after many hours of going by without eating do i really feel hunger and can eat without my stomach wanting to kill myself.

Yesterday for example. Ate at around 1 o clock (without being hungry) and not even 5 mins later i was lying down in my couch feeling like absolute shit.

Didn't eat anything throughout the rest of the day and today I am feeling like I could eat an entire horse by myself.

I don't know what is happening to me. I am dropping pounds like crazy and been feeling super tired. Really creeped out at what the doctor might say about why this is happening.

I would like to think that is stress and nothing more.

I’ve been stressed a lot lately and I think I’m just gonna let myself chill, evaluate where I am in my life, and enjoy my fucking zoomer time while I have it.

(Ok, I love js in general (specially with es6), but here's something I hate about the "ecosystem". Dont take this too srsly also)

Holy fucking gagged shit, these project readmes that start out for too long about the project objective instead of stating the actual thing/s the software does.

WHAT DOES IT FUCKING DO!?
STOP BEING FUCKING FANCY ABOUT YOUR PROJECT.

Jesus christ, people jacking off about their awesome tool and how it will make everyone happy. No one cares.

"shitsmoke.js is a framework that focuses on delivering truly reliable data with static checking enabled on deployment."

WHAT THE SHIT DOES THAT MEAN?

Gimme a bullet point with the goddamn features (not the fucking BENEFITS) and I'm done.

These are like layers of marketing bullshit texts you have get through, getting more technical as you go on.

But sometimes they never do a technical summary, THEY GO STRAIGHT INTO THE GODDAMN API. And the API docs belong to a docs site, there is github.io and packages that take care of that.

You're like a goddamn linguistic detective, trying to disect the meaning of these words to understand if some package is what you're looking for.

And I don't wanna visit another website to understand what it does either!

Google Chrome chill! It's just our in house CMS code!!!!

My PMs daughter is my daughter's best friend. My PM drops her off to spend the night regularly and were just like "ya man seeya tomorrow or monday or whatever". It's so odd and funny because he's also like 20+ years older than me but it's just all chill as can be. I know some PMs out there make devs lives hell.

Listening to the Last of Us soundtrack when doing chill programming.

And Lamb of God for fast programming.

Rhythm matters to me. And you guys?

ideal situation: programming in a chill cafe with nice coffee

reality: too busy drinking coffee, hasnt touched the laptop

At home: a glass of nice single malt whiskey, headphones on with some chill background music and that's all I need.

At work: First half an hour up to one hours goes into deciding what to do / waking up and having the first 2-4 cups of coffee.

Headphones on with some chill background music and I get into the zone for a quick moment before it's lunch time and it takes up to 1h after the lunch break to get back to the zone and multiple coffee cups.

In the afternoon I usually get into the zone and real speed with my work and quite often almost forget to go home :/

My friends do it for me, so does my wife.

It helps that my coworkers are my friends and they are devs, so there is that.

Other than that my phone would usually rang during the weekend nonstop with shit to do. I normally tend to stick to being at home with my wife and child.

My city is strange in that everyone and their mothers parties every weekend and people are usually friendly enough to involve everyone with anyone during the weekends. I like and dislike that (loud shit annoys me)

My dear boss is a weekend alcoholic, so there are null chances of making us go to work and if they do they let us chill during the work week.

Not only that, but the entire IT dpmnt is really friendly towards one another. We are one big happy family(we never fight with one another, not even the sys admins/network dudes.

Whenever i want to chill out, play games and movies the computer is very supportive
"Here ya go fella ooo 20 chrome tabs on a conspiracy? Sure why not" but i swear to god the moment i want to be productive,

"What's that? Android studio? Why don't i triple the normal loading time, freeze for 1absolutely no reason ooo u wanna run emulator with that? Lol okay sweetie good luck"
or or
"Sir do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, the WINDOWS UPDATE? Oh no you can't shut the door your house is practically OURS"

Guys i feel my computer is sentient. It doesn't want me getting too smart for ..reasons? Does anyone else feel the same way about their machine? I hope its not too late to start a revolution yet

Everyday strugle.
Go to work, go home all motivated like: oh once I'm home I can do this and that to finish my work, and it's fun and interesting. Or I vould study, or clean up, I'm totally gonna do something usefull!
*once home*
Ohhhh look league of legends! Or bed! I'm too exhausted to do anything usefull. Better chill.
...
Anyone else?
Anyone got advice for how to combat this? T_T

Programmers after Writing some successful code be like:-
"Chill, chill just chill"

When that code went into Testing phase:-
"Where are you now? Under the sea.. Under the sea..."

Call with Customer for an upcoming software project (tone interpreted through rage)

them: "yeah we want to launch by end of march but our sales people would like to have a demo version asap, incl. structure of the forums and yaddayadda"

me: "earliest at end of feb"
them: "why do you need so long bro?"

me saying: "chill, we'll send you screenshots"

me (not saying): "because you ordered an azure based Active Directory as loginprovider at another company and our own white lable software needs to integrate that and we've never spoke about a demo version you mofos?"
me (also not saying): "and yet another partner that is working on the hardware component still hasn't logged into the API I crafted because he didn't knew how to send parameters to a REST API?"

When you go to update your Mac think great I’ll go chill out for half hour, let it update and hit restart, then come back to your computer and realise Mamp stopped your computer restarting without entering a password. FFS rookie error put in the password computer restarts to update. “Calculating time remaining...” 40 minutes. I’m so fucking bored right now just staring at the screen and having a rant.

So I have a pet peeve to talk about here, I'm excited for the Atari box as I have some inside information that is officially confirmed about it (unfortunately am not allowed to talk about it :-C) and I see people out there saying it is "an underpowered Linux steam machine)...

How the fuck are people coming to this conclusion when the specs, OS or anything technical about it haven't even been released yet?!

Why must people immediately assume that because it's not a standard windows PC it must be a piece of shit?

Boggles my mind that so many people can be so defensive and go on the offence without knowing anything.

Just so I can clarify, I'm a console gamer, Linux lover yet still develop for windows and the like so this isn't a biased rant and I know people will look at this, see the word Linux and go on the attack... So... Just... Chill?

Watching Aggretsuko, quite it relatable

Hey everyone. Not sure if we're allowed to do this or not. If not, whoops sorry. Anyway, I'm Vylcas. New to DevRant and developing things as a whole. Currently know html, css, and python. Trying to get better and figure out which direction to go. Hope DevRant has some chill people for something with an emphasis on ranting. Really excited to start using this app to see whats out there. Guess thats all. Have a nice day!

Didn’t shower. Didn’t fix my hair. Wasn’t asked a hundred questions that could have been easily Googled. Got to chill with my one-year-old while waiting for Magento 2 to reindex. Lovin’ it.

I'm TIRED of developers arguing about which OS is better! Just because you ride a ferrari or a lambo doesn't mean you'll get through traffic quicker. GNU/Linux is a great OS, it lacks certain qualities, but so does Microsoft Windows, and OS X. None of these operating systems are perfect. I recently switched back to Windows from GNU/Linux after 6 years of being blinded by the stupid wars of the operating systems, and am now writing my own OS. Just. Be. Chill. With. Your. OS. And. Dont. Complain.

Nothing beats beeing allowed to pick when i come in for work. Also today is pretty chill. Building is halv empty and i only have to write a lil documentation for kubernetes :D

I have a course at my university about personal data and it feels more than a law course than a computer science one. I asked the teacher why do we have to be taught that subject and how would we be able to use what we learn in real life and she got triggered, telling me that with just by coding I won’t achieve anything and i have to learn more topics and if I didn’t want to be taught this subject why did i choose the university.
I just made a question you fuckin butthurt, chill the fuck out.

I didn't know Netflix and chill ALONE would be counted as a social life!

How do you feel with not having motivation to work on/finish your personal projects?

I'm working 9 to 5 plus commute and at the end of the day I just want to eat some food and chill. But I keep beating myself up over not working on things that will improve myself.

Does anyone else feel like this while working full time?

Some of the worst code reviews I had were at my 1st proper workplace which incidentally was the strictest one! I was such a lazy oaf and hated those.

Still don't like code reviews but I do admit those first ones did me a tom of good.

Nowadays when I am the one co ducting them I tend to be more relaxed and chill and not be a nazi coz I still remember the repulsion of my first ones ^^'

Trying to re-type a massive essay I lost because the app refreshed for some reason. I'll try to keep it short (spoiler: I lied).

Recently, I had a conversation with a couple of non-tech people about AI and the fear of computers making humans obsolete. I have some strong (borderline ranty) opinions about this, and thought I'd post here to see what reaction is get.

This is not a "machines will destroy us" post, it's more about the very legitimate great of losing jobs.

- AI is a tool. It's main use would to be help optimise the more complex routine tasks and free up people's time to be more creative in their jobs. Basically, it's the next step of automation.
- Human intuition can never be replaced. Sometimes, things just seem a bit off. Sure, an AI would avoid ever getting in that situation, but only if it had learnt it in the past. A human will always have to be at the helm of any such system.
- Achieving true intelligence and sentience is like trying to travel at the speed of light. The closer you get, the more challenges you face.
- Getting hyped by sensationalist news that claims the end is nigh because two computers optimised the language they used to communicate when trying to reach a goal is stupid. All this shows is that the tech is working as expected and the systems can optimise on the fly. To me, this was a pretty awesome moment.

Now, I'm not saying dystopia is impossible, neither am I saying that it is inevitable. Just like any tool presented to us, if we use it responsibly, we can make life and society a lot better.

Linus Torvalds. That guy has no chill!

Boss while working at a computer repair shop, he was a chill guy and great guy to talk to. Didn't mind if I came in a little late and regularly let me leave early.

Regularly got fun stories like how someone's cd drive broke because they thought it was a bagle holder.

Close all internet shops tabs, find yourself a nice chill music like Erykah Badu or some ASMR record, measure your time (I use toggl) and have your tasks for today well planned. And set yourself deadlines. Short deadlines. When you fail to fit in one, you get to punish yourself in a mild way. When you do your tasks on time you get candy :D or some other shit like a good coffee or go out somewhere

So, I'm on holiday for a week from Friday. Woo! The plan is to head to a cottage in the middle of nowhere with the wife and the dog and chill the fuck out for a while.

Just found out from my boss that, due to some fucking colossal mismanagement, I have to support a huge release for an architecture rebuild project from 10pm til 8am on Sunday night. While I'm on holiday. In the middle of nowhere.

FML

Our cv teacher at school basically just printed out selfhtml.org on paper and told us to start writing websites. He then went on to chill on his chair for the rest of the lesson.

Always check if you are on the test or the prod system at least 1000 times before cleaning up the customers database.

This happend twice to my team.... At least our customers admins were pretty chill and said they learned something from this.

Angel got no chill

I can see life is meaningless and the only reason of my short visit to this planet is to pass on my vain selfish genes.

But what drives me every day is the exponential trends of tech and the looming technological singularity in the 2040s. And the prospect of staying alive for billions of years mapping exoplanets, contributing in every way I can.

Until we reach a Type 10 civilization and beyond, I'm not sure when I might want to hang up my coat.

Still if I can't make it to the singularity, that's cool also, after all life is meaningless.

I'm chill with anything.

When marketing gets overly excited about analytics requirements and you have more code in a page for stats than actual functionality

Client: "According to the Postgresql Version Support Policy, 9.3 will be expired by September 2018. That's only a few months away."

Me in thought: "Expired? Like a rotten egg? With an expiration date? OK, chill. His English isn't that good. Maybe he meant that support expires since its EOL."

Client: "We need to upgrade so that we can continue using the database."

Me in thought: "Yeah, he really meant "expired" in database too."