I did it.

I finally fucked prod.

And had to do open heart surgery on the service to get it unfucked.

Shit happens. Luckily its internal prod only...

when in doubt,
write everything manually,
because even if a package exists,
it's so old and outdated,
it's not even worth fixing all the errors,
so you may as well,
grow your own APIs

it'll be faster!

I have officially lost my wallet with all my cash cards, driving license, e-card, article-50 "you're allowed to stay in our country" card and my office access key.

How's everyone else's day going?

Todays rant is thanks to GoDaddy.

Thanks for parking our 9+ year old domain because of payment 'issues' without any warning.

Fuck you, GoDaddy.

The entire modern gaming ecosystem is a scam.

I added The Crew: Motorfest trial version to my library for free.

Click on Install and it downloads 43 GB of data.
Now it's time to launch.
Click on launch and Ubisoft Connect takes over and it starts downloading another 43 GB??????

WTF ??

If I can't even get the trial version of a game without nearly wanting to kill myself, how does the company expect me to pay full price for it?

Piracy FTW. Fuck all the companies.

One of my favourite things in JS is the absolutely cursed shit that it lets me do.

Did you know that you can return anonymous classes from functions?

*euro-based rant incoming*

"left or right? left or right?!"

DUDE! I'M RIDING A SMALL MOUNTAIN BIKE WITH A FUCKING HEAVY TRAILER OF GROCERIES AND YOU ARE IN A FUCKING E-BIKE!!! SHUT THE FUCK UP AND GO AROUND ME PUSSY!!!! I'M NOT GOING TO GRIND UP AGAINST THE SIDEWALK WITH MY TRAILER.... BECAUSE ITS A FUCKING TRAILER, AND ITS FULL OF FUCKING GROCERIES!!!!!!

god, fucking boomers... i swear to god if i get one more rube talking to me while i'm biking and saying i should "stay to the right" when EVERY time i'm CLEARLY right of the middle of the road, i'm going to start yelling back rude comments and put the fucking low IQ assholes in their place... (probably what I should have done from the first place. why are we to take shit from them, when they own 75% of the wealth but are 25% of the population.) absolute fuck sticks get the fuck off my road, go ride off a cliff

How my day went.

Project Manager: We need deliverable X.

Me: That's not listed.

PM: But we need it. Other PM says what you provided isn't enough.

Me: Too bad. I was not told to deliver it.

PM2: We need deliverable X.

Me: Look at the requirements. It is not there. I'm not providing it.

PM2: We need it. Let me ask PM3.

PM3: We need deliverable X.

Me: No. It's not listed. And here's why it's not even applicable.

PM3: Oh....ok

Any app is a dating app if you're Indian enough

Yes former technical person who is now a business person. Please, please advise me on my job with your decaying outdated skills. Yes, google for me. I didn't know how to do that. Ah wonderful yes, you recall this being "easy" which is why you quit the field. What a nice time this is.

Just submitted my first app to the Microsoft Store 🎉🎉

It's a simple offline password manager that also accepts other formats of data such as credit card and personal info.

Made it using WinUI 3. To prevent you from forgetting your master password, each "locker" accepts an unlimited number of passwords. If you forgot one, you can just use a different one. This is my idea to make offline password managers a little less of a hassle.

Can't wait for approval from the store!

Today my cat, my oldest girlfriend, passed away. She chose to be in the sun for her passing. I'm happy she had a good life in the end with all the space she needed. She did not suffer. It was sudden and just a cardiac arrest.

May she hunt many more mice and little birds in the afterlife.

Hey guys, you won't believe what happaned to me, I left my laptop open in a hacker coffee shop and went to take a piss, and when I returned I fou d out that someone stole all my crypto CockRingCoin 😭😭 I lost a million and a half Shekels but then remembered my brother has a cousin who knows a lawyer who's wife is a friend with a wolf who knows a real matrix hacker who can hack CIA using only his toes, I contacted him and you wouldn't believe it but he got all of my cock coins back to me, I don't know what I would've done without him. If anybody needs help recovering crypto I can more than reccomend my dear holy saviour LeHackerCockSucker
WhatsApp: +972-50-EATMYASS-0
Email: ciahacker@cock.gov

But then as I was happily looking at my crypto returned I notice a few payments I don't rwmember making, turns out, my wife was cheating on me! And using my crypto to buy her lover stuff!
So I contacted the afformentioned lawyer who's a friend of the cousin that my brother has, and he helped me file for divorce and punish my cheating wife, for anybody needing a marriage lawyer:
WhatsApp: +972-54-DeliciousPussy-6
Email: eatmypussy@lawyers.porn

I am now happily married with the wolf who's the friend of the lawyer's wife and he fucks me in the ass every night. If you want a good life like mine you know who to call.

The hammer dev. See a problem, they grab a hammer. See a screw? Hammer. Complex social issue? You bet your binary tree it's getting hammered.

Everyone's gangsta until common text shaping engine allows Wasm in font files.

Wait... https://mastodon.social/@schizanon/...

bitch, i AM the developer

still love how the most important part of a TECH SaaS (the developers) are always just a commodity "ah just send it off"

meanwhile the dashboards of all these tools for the "business types" are all absolute garbage

the world's all backwards

revenge of the nerds continues until moral improves

"So, why do you want to work at our office in mexico?"
"I want to be a señor developer."

A group of wolves is called a pack.

A group of crows is called a murder.

A group of developers is called a merge conflict.

Have you ever wondered we programmers have so many strong communities.... Stackoverflow, devRant, Reditt, etc...
No other profession has such communities... Why? Why?
Because, we haven't built one for them.... 😂😁

When a hiring manager wants 5+ years experience in Swift.

Swift release date = June 2, 2014

😂👍🖕

Developer: We have a problem.
Manager: Remember, there are no such things as problems, only opportunities.
Developer: Well then, we have a DDoS opportunity.

My girlfriend dumped me after I named a class after her. She felt I treated her like an object.

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"

My Steam Game is Released

https://store.steampowered.com/app/...

Deleting code and cutting out half the loc in a file and eliminating complexity is the best feeling in the world 😎

just so you know, $25/month is NOT a pay as you go plan - its a $25/month plan

why the hell would i pay for $25 a month on top of my usage charges

fuckin 🤡s

Lost my auntie to a very long cancer battle.

There is a long list of people that I would've rather died than her.

Why don't workplaces have a category of leave for "literally dying inside"?

It's sad. When developers create the application and ONLY know how to lunch it by clicking that green button in the IDE, having no clue how to package and launch it properly...

it makes me sad.

Now I'm supposed to dockerize an application no one knows how to launch outside the IDE.

> Sorry, you have not updated your browser this week. Please update your browser to use our site.

*user tries to update browser*

> Sorry, your operating system is no longer supported. Please upgrade your operating system to install this update.

*user tries to update operating system*

> Sorry, your device is no longer supported. Please buy a new phone to use this operating system.

*buys new phone*

> Pay! Pay! Pay! Consoooom!

————

See where this is going? It is thinly-veiled planned obsolescence.

Not only does every app need to have an export option, but new exports must create new, time-stamped files rather than overwriting an existing export!

A counter-example is "Battery Monitor Widget" by CCC71 or 3C71. That app creates a file in the main user directory, named "bmw_history.txt" (no relation to the car manufacturer).

When a new export is created, the existing bmw_history.txt is overwritten. This could lead to data loss if the user is unaware of this behaviour.

The developer thought of creating an export ability, but messed up at the file naming process.

Mandatory time-stamped user data exports for every app would not be so bad. This makes sure no developer would forget about it. GDPR gave us data portability for social media platforms. Let's do it for apps too. (Sorry, Samsung Internet, you can no longer lock in saved pages. Your users are sick of it.)