Hahahaja!

And then there is this beauty...

Dave you're a piece of shit

When everyone is complaining about how terrible JavaScript is and I'm just sitting there thinking "but... I like it.."

Just for fun, a home made comic.

Back in 2011 when I was 14, I created a cmd shortcut on all pc in my school's computer lab. Replaced the icon and renamed it to Internet Explorer. Deleted the original IE shortcut and a week later the lab got closed because they all the computers got infected with a "virus"

i know im lame kill me

interviewer: Do you know HTML?

me: Yes sir!

interviewer: can you tell me its full form?

me: how to meet ladies.

interviewer: get the fuck out of here

RIP....😅

It's the one thing that keeps me sane

Well guy has some trust issues

Me trying to fix all the bugs

Credit: Internet

Web Developer Profanity:

Dreamweaver = Motherfucker
GoDaddy = Son of a Bitch
Wix = Go Fuck Yourselves
SquareSpace = Hipster Assholes
Web.com = Piles of dogshit
ASP = Pain in the Ass.

Client: Hi. my SEO guy messed up the website. Its kind of .... you know .... gone. You must have the backup. Please restore

Me (after 10 mins): Done

.............

Client: Hi again. I don't see my changes from yesterday. Why?

Me: Because I had 2 months old backup.

Client: Why?

Me: Because that's the last time I worked on your website. And you changed the credentials later on.

Client: But you're a programmer. You must have had a back door to take back ups.

........

Client: Hello?

Me: It's time to leave earth.

Non dev co-workers: Dude add us on Facebook.

Me: I don't have Facebook.

Non dev co-workers: Instagram?

Me: I don't use Instagram.

Non dev co-workers: Oook, what about Twitter?

Me: I deactivated my account permanently long ago.

Non dev co-workers: Huh? So what the heck are you always looking at on your phone laughing and stuff?

Me: devRant!

Non dev co-workers: Huh?

Me: DEVRANT!! (*shows them devRant*)

Non dev co-workers: What the heck is that?

One of the co-workers: guys, he's a hacker.

Me: *face palm*

Fuck software assurance.

Fuck functional specifications, fuck software requirements, fuck V-model bullshit documentation, fuck integration test plans.

Fuck trying to shoehorn waterfall requirements into what clearly was an interative development.

Fuck me for being a single dev handling all this bullshit by myself.

😂😂😂

I admit doing this. Always.

I work retail as a second job. I still have people asking me if they can get new computers running XP or Vista.

Client tests the app and provides feedback ... This sucks! Full of bugs, hard to navigate, nothing works!

1 week later after version 2 client provides new feedback: This rocks! Love it. Easy to use and rock solid!

Changes made: background set to light blue.

The reason I _always_ overestimate my time on a task

Certain developers allocated memory before it was cool. they where called heapsters.

You know what's bullshit? Clients who take all their time to reply something, to the point where you even forget you tried to reach them in the first place and expect for you to answer/fix something right in the second. Fuck them.

I hate when game developers make games without difficulty settings. Some people are more interested in the story, some are handicapped and so on... Don't tell your users how they should play your game...

Until the beginning of life universe and everything

In a test software that I'm working on, there is a variable at the very beginning which has a comment "Don't change this variable!".

Hidden within the code is function to check the value. If the test user change it, a giant ಠ_ಠ appears on the screen.

No one will complain, but I can hear the gasps and the sudden chair movements... 😈

When you're still trying to find the one...

Just because I'm a programmer doesn't mean I'm some nerd that watches anime, relishes in video games, and spends more time around computers than around girls!

Even though that's all true...

always good for a laugh

I remember my first software engineer internship, the boss was terrible. He was cheap and only hired interns we had 0 guidance. This mother fucker would say shit in meetings like "hey we should start providing DBAAS, similar to DynamoDB start researching it I want a prototype by Wednesday" Wtf this guy is nuts. The overall product was suppose to be a fucking virtual machine hosting platform to compete with AWS, Digital Ocean, RackSpace etc designed by BS computer science interns lol. This guy tells us in a meeting one day "You know what's the difference between those guys (the competitors) and us?" We all looked around lost. This pompous ass hole says "Me , that's the difference you guys have me " 😂 what a fucking joke , not to mention all he has is a shitty math degree from a bullshit no name college in India, no developing experience what so ever. Man o man I never met anyone that was so fucking stupid but thought they were so fucking smart

Manager: we need to design an admin system for a veterinary centre

Dev: ok, this is it, remember your training

class Dog extends Animal {}