Normal people's morning :
Checking Facebook /Instagram

Developer's mornings :
Checking bit bucket

macOS treats chess like it's the System32 file in windows

At ATM

Options
- cash only
- cash and balance
- cash and receipt
- cash and balance and receipt

Choice
- cash only

Questions
- would you like to see your balance

Then
- would you like a receipt

IF I WANTED A FUCKING RECEIPT OR TO FUCKING CHECK MY BALANCE THEN I WOULD HAVE MADE THAT CHOICE WHEN YOU FIRST ASKED ME. YOU FUCKING CUNT.

I EXPLICITLY CHOSE “CASH ONLY” SO JUST FUCKING ASK ME HOW MUCH I WANT TO WITHDRAW AND THEN LET ME GET THE FUCK ON WITH MY BASTARDING DAY!!

That moment when

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

*burp* Me..Merry Christmas

I made a thing. It's called Claymore.

It's like lastPass, but with a bomb attached to it.

Its *burp* like, if you're like really paranoid about your passwords, you can just, you can just blow it all up.

Pro-Tip, if you run it on port 1337, it's extra sec-*burp*-ure.

Am I kidding? Maybe. I made this w/ booze, so.

men==women returns false

Everytime I need to edit a document

When you find a bug that leads you to find better ways of doing things

Did extra hours today, this setup looks so beautiful in the dark.

1969 vs 2017

z-index: 9;
😕
z-index: 99;
😐
z-index: 999;
😑
z-index: 9999;
😡
z-index: 9999 !important;
😠
z-index: 9999 !IMPORTANTAHFA;
😲

C# Programmer 😂😂😂

Hahahha so accurate

When code is more important than life

I like my humour how I like my UI.

DARK.

🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔🤔

HTML5 !

Two unit tests, no integration tests.

Something like that..

Stack overflow is helping 1,000,000 developers (or kind of developers) how to exit vim.
lol :)

When i ask a question in StackOverflow and no one gives a shit 😐

❤️

My average work day:

Thinking of better ways to plan/organise my work - 75%
Planning my work - 15%
Rethinking how to plan my work - 9%
Actual work 1%

!rant
What do you think of my setup?
(Excuse the cables in the background, I’ll fix them soon)

Hmm....

REST.room

You don't know how much you need it until is gone.... 5 days whitout internet :(

How they teach http errors the easy way..

When your boss wants it done now but you're on vacation