After two extensive talks with a potential employer (they lasted for hours), I decided to accept the offer, although the salary was ~25% lower than at my previous job. Everything else sounded fantastic and I needed that desperately since at the previous company everything was toxic for years.

These new guys wanted a senior php dev because they had none of them, except only wordpress and drupal people who were not skilled enough to take other types of projects (they called them "custom php"). I liked it and thought I'm gonna shine there and quickly earn a raise because the agency will start earning more by getting projects that they were unable to even bid for.

First day at work and I got assigned to a new Drupal project, although it was supposed to be a simple restful API for a simple iOS app. It could be done in a week or less, with no rushing at all. But it had to be Drupal. And I happened to be around to hear that there is a queue of Drupal projects waiting. After 2 days leaving the office late and having my brain melted by nonsense I was looking at, I quit the job.

No offense to Drupal people, I really do admire you, but I just could not stand it after 8 years "doing custom php". It felt too much like being downgraded. But more than that I was pissed off by the fact that I have been shamelessly lied to and tricked to accept something I clearly said that I dont want.

This happened a year ago. I now earn 2.5x more money than those guys offered and work in a very healthy environment. In the meantime, I heard that the other guys shut their company down.

What if Donald Trump (or Drumpf :|) was a developer

"I will make PHP GREAT again"

"I will KICK OUT all NODEJS developers from the office premises"

"I will install a FIREWALL in my system so my colleagues cant access anything "
But sir this is not how it works, besides its very impractical
"And my colleagues will PAY for it"

😉😁😁

Well that's 💯% correct...

Story when I worked as a 1st line technician:

Customer: "Yes hello, I'm trying to install Windows as instructed, but the installer is not starting"

Me: "Ok, have you tried pressing [button] at the bootscreen?"

C: "Yes, over and over, still nothing happens"

This was actually one of my first calls, so my co-worker stepped in to help while I listened.

Co-worker: "okay, so when you rebooted the computer, press [button] and tell me what happens"

C: "....okay, I think it's starting"

Co-w: "Great! I'll just wait until it's running"

A minute goes by, installer seems to be running, but then we hear a loud BEEP. It's so loud another coworker hears it from his desk, through our headsets. A moment goes by, and it BEEPS again. Then the sound begins again, but doesn't stop. It's like an air horn at full blow. We ask the customer what he's doing, but he cannot hear us over the constant beep. We're brainstorming what it could be, when he finally says something:

"CAN.. LET.. OF.."

Co-w: "WHAT???"

"CAN I LET GO OF THE BUTTON??"

-----
I think we laughed the whole day

it never helps

I need 15 minutes to solve this bug.
... 3 hours later: I have no idea why my code doesn't work. :)

Ask your friend if they use IE. If they say yes, unfriend them ;)

Job Ad says "Web Developer". Requested skills were HTML, CSS, PHP & XML. Go to interview & get grilled about my design skills. Web Developer != Web Designer people! Get it together! 🙄🙄🙄

I've been slowly increasing the size of my tech manager's mouse cursor over the last month when he leaves his computer unlocked. It's about an inch tall now and he hasn't noticed yet. Everyone else in the office does and it's the best thing ever.

Manager cracks a joke, everyone in the team laughs except one guy.
Manager : Didn't you understand the joke ?
The guy replies : I resigned yesterday

Watching a user test your product for the first time...

oh the rage..

CSS4 should bring us !more-important and !the-most-important property.

I get 21 errors in a 20 line program!

Lesson #2731 - A backup on the same device is not a backup.

Just spotted a public WiFi called "Martin Router King".

I have a stream.

Motherboard City, Take all my money && bring me here.

I just discovered that you can tap the title of devRant app to load new rants instead of just scrolling to the beginning to make a pull to refresh :( FML

Every linux or unix or programming tutorial ever

After few years of coding php, I finally REALLY get the mvc pattern. Never gonna write crappy code again.

Fake it til you make it...

Leaving a legacy...

I think we all have this. (sorry if repost)

Updated 80% of the source code..commit msg: "updates". 😐

What a good commit message looks like

I drink so much coffee. I sweat coffee. I pee coffee. I probably emit coffee waves into the air and get other people caffeinated. Here's to all of my fellow coffee-emitting programmers!

Well I just learned the value of reading comments on code

Been working on issue for 3-4 days 30 seconds after reading documentation and adjusting accordingly everything is working perfectly

I feel so stupid :(

1. Code works
2. Add if statement
3. Code breaks
4. Comment out if statement
5. Code works
6. Uncomment if statement
7. Code works
8. Wtf??

Boss: Are you just nodding your head yes and really have no idea?

Me: Yes, but I'll figure it out.

This is way too true.