Dear gradle, no offense but I believe Rome took less time to build!

Girl: "hey"

My Brain:
java.lang.NullPointerException:
at net.brain.functions.Talk.retrieveSpeech(Talk.java:2978)
at net.brain.functions.Talk.createFlirtyResponse(Talk.java:3132)

Me: null

*Girl walks away*

New devRant web app for desktop is now live! (https://devrant.com - the .com will now redirect to feed if you are logged in) Let us know what you think, and especially if you spot any bugs (very likely some slipped through). Some cool new features are still in development, will be out shortly.

F*cked up front-end.

http://commitstrip.com/en/2018/...

No Wonder this is going to crash!!

@dfox is it a bug or feature? I can subscribe to my own profile and get notified for posting a new rant

Why does the Python developer have crooked teeth?

Because he doesn't use braces

people: What do you do?
me: I'm computer engineer.
people: Ah! You fix things then. Can you fix my TV?
me:

When your client is an asshole and asks you to just follow his instructions...

And I didn't find my emails for days...

My girlfriend comes in and sees me on devrant.

GF: "What is that app? I see you using it all the time. Is it like an endless blog with updates?"
Me: "It's kinda like facebook. But for developers. And you don't have any friends".
GF: "That seems like a sad app"

True story

HTTP response code cheat sheet
(From /r/Programmer humor)

This is so elaborate I'm still laughing. 😂
Source: 9gag

I discovered this the 'new' open source OS by Google named Fuchsia. Build from the kernel up so no Linux.

"Software is like sex: it's better when it's free"-Linus Torvalds

In all honesty, if there was a course on giving variables good, informative and not completely stupid names... I would take it.

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

When a friend asks to create a website for his startup for free. FML 😔 I got bills to pay. Will he provide his service for free??

Gotta love the CS students...

I just woke up, the sun is out...

Crap I must missed my alarm!

Wait is only 6am....

I love summer? Except for the heat

Well that's one way to explain it

Living in the middle east be like

That would be 🙄

At the top of a 2000+ line source file

Emotive Programming in XCode

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Story of my life 😀

Programmer's 🏠

I found this in the HTML for Hackerrank. I started laughing and thought you guys would enjoy it as well.