You know what I fucking LOVE? Cross platform. I love working with shitty JavaScript CRAP that not only is interpreted (i.e. parsed and processed for EVERY user for EVERY execution) but is also just so fucking easy to debug. I love the fact that management is making not only architecture but technology decisions in the name of initial development time, forgetting that they are exponentially increasing maintenance time. I can't get over my affection for waiting for the bloody CI to build both platforms and because some fucker commits his shite straight to master blocks the generation of BOTH platforms artifacts.

Guys I really need some help. If anyone has done I2C on Android things or can give me some pointers while I wait for a logic analyser I would really appreciate it. Even an upvote on the question (the Stack Overflow question, not this post) would be helpful: https://raspberrypi.stackexchange.com/...

"Why are you working on uglified code?"

"You know, I'm trying my best"

Getting real sick of all these Android Studio updates...

Code should be self documenting

Good colleagues. So grateful I have a fantastic set of peers to work with.

Pigeon programming: managers who used to be Devs come to 'have a look' at the code, take a crap all over everything, and then leave.

2 things every java developer hates developing with yet wishes they had more of personally: time and money

efficiency (noun): Android TDD pair programming in an open plan office environment

We want an App!
Our logo big and centre screen!
It's the emergency button to call for help in dire and potentially dangerous situations.

What? Our logo doesn't look like a button? Just do what we say.

Welcome to the Unix stack exchange network where ...

FUCK YOU! I AM THE UNIX KING AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I KNOW

!rant

This is a little Bluetooth Low Energy Tank I made for a colleague as a leaving gift. 3D printed turret driven by a Pi 0 W and a Zumo chassis.

What are some of the most interesting algorithmic problems you have faced?

I hate it when libraries don't support dependencies! And the bloody community doesn't even have an answer, going back nearly three or four years!

https://raspberrypi.stackexchange.com/...

A job where soft skills are appreciated and nurtured. I can't stand how every company I've every worked or interview me expects a certain level, but never puts any investment in my growth.

You will get far more rejections than acceptance. A lot of the time it has more to do with the interviewer and not the candidate (assuming the candidate is a genuine hard worker). The job search process is similar in this regard to finding a mate or compiling your code.

Keep moving forward!

VB: Array index starts at 1.

Haha no, I joke. I think Ionic is worse.

Android really gets on my goat. They are moving things so far that they are actually doing more damage than good.

Upgrade my build tools to v25? sure! Now all my BLE code is borked, thanks for nothing.

Go to the documentation? Lol, that's deprecated fool!

At least now it can all fail to function in Kotlin, a wrapper for Java 6. Instead of keeping your tools up to date you just create another layer of obfuscation. Well done, so proud.

Wife keeps stealing my rubber duck... So making my own with Raspberry Pi! Needs a name though...

Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"

Once I was waiting on a client to ok some minor spelling corrections in an app. I don't know what I was thinking but I pushed it to the store without thinking.

I told my manager, and I was so annoyed at myself. I was trying so hard to get into a senior role and I was feeling super terrible. I actually requested a letter of warning, but my manager just laughed and refused. PHEW!

INTERVIEWER: "I see you put 'Mime' as a hobby - tell us more about that"

ME: **Tries to leave but is trapped in imaginary box**

Got this from a recruiter:

We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA

Hiring Mode: Contract

Must have skills:

· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills

My response:

I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.

1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore

Please delete me from your emailing list.

I struggled to find the interview location as the company as they were using another companies offices. As I sit down, sweating, feeling rushed for barely making it on time the interviewer says: "Tell us a joke"

I should have got up and walked out, but since I was there already I pulled this one out:

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.

The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.

The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.

The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.

All three turned to the computer engineer and asked, What do you think?

The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.

Worst: What are your flaws?
Best: Tell us about an app you developed.

vi users will understand

The key to any good relationship is compromise. Ladies and Gentlemen, allow me to introduce the 2-4-tab alternating space indent style!

if (x) {
somemethod();
}
else if (y)
{
someOtherMethod();
} else {
iDontKnowHowToTabOnAndroidMethod();
}

Filthy sysadmin wouldn't let me call the iOS build server "CiderMill" :(

Best / Worst interview question

They told me I needed to know VBA, so went off and learnt it in a week (I only knew Turbo Pascal) 1st day in the job they put me on ASP. So it was great, by the time I left I knew TP, VBA, ASP and JavaScript. All before 1st year University!