AboutMobile App Dev
SkillsJava, Swift, Node
Joined devRant on 1/10/2017
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Made a custom RGB macro keypad for development. Combined it with my scripts for controlling my Android dev device3
“Oh I don’t have access to the repo and I’ve been on leave for 2 weeks, I’ll just pair* with you all day over VC”
*pair = question all your variable names5
QA: There is a problem
Me: Ok how do I reproduce it?
QA: You do x
Me: I have done x and there isn’t a problem
QA: Oh it only happens sometimes
Me: Fair enough, I’ll try a few times
Me: Are you sure x is how you do it?
QA: Oh no actually it’s y
Guys I really need some help. If anyone has done I2C on Android things or can give me some pointers while I wait for a logic analyser I would really appreciate it. Even an upvote on the question (the Stack Overflow question, not this post) would be helpful: https://raspberrypi.stackexchange.com/...
Pigeon programming: managers who used to be Devs come to 'have a look' at the code, take a crap all over everything, and then leave.1
2 things every java developer hates developing with yet wishes they had more of personally: time and money
We want an App!
Our logo big and centre screen!
It's the emergency button to call for help in dire and potentially dangerous situations.
What? Our logo doesn't look like a button? Just do what we say.1
Welcome to the Unix stack exchange network where ...
FUCK YOU! I AM THE UNIX KING AND YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED FOR NOT KNOWING WHAT I KNOW2
This is a little Bluetooth Low Energy Tank I made for a colleague as a leaving gift. 3D printed turret driven by a Pi 0 W and a Zumo chassis.7
I hate it when libraries don't support dependencies! And the bloody community doesn't even have an answer, going back nearly three or four years!
A job where soft skills are appreciated and nurtured. I can't stand how every company I've every worked or interview me expects a certain level, but never puts any investment in my growth.
You will get far more rejections than acceptance. A lot of the time it has more to do with the interviewer and not the candidate (assuming the candidate is a genuine hard worker). The job search process is similar in this regard to finding a mate or compiling your code.
Keep moving forward!
Android really gets on my goat. They are moving things so far that they are actually doing more damage than good.
Upgrade my build tools to v25? sure! Now all my BLE code is borked, thanks for nothing.
Go to the documentation? Lol, that's deprecated fool!
At least now it can all fail to function in Kotlin, a wrapper for Java 6. Instead of keeping your tools up to date you just create another layer of obfuscation. Well done, so proud.3
Swagger superposition: the generated server now works but the local hosted editor does not connect. I look at one screen and wonder: "Why does this work?" and then at my other screen (same code, same port) and think "Why DOESN'T this work?"
Once I was waiting on a client to ok some minor spelling corrections in an app. I don't know what I was thinking but I pushed it to the store without thinking.
I told my manager, and I was so annoyed at myself. I was trying so hard to get into a senior role and I was feeling super terrible. I actually requested a letter of warning, but my manager just laughed and refused. PHEW!
INTERVIEWER: "I see you put 'Mime' as a hobby - tell us more about that"
ME: **Tries to leave but is trapped in imaginary box**1
Got this from a recruiter:
We are looking for a **Senior Android Developer/Lead** at Philadelphia PA
Hiring Mode: Contract
Must have skills:
· 10-12 years mobile experience in developing Android applications
· Solid understanding of Android SDK on frameworks such as: UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation, Network Programming, etc.
· Good Knowledge on REST Ful API and JSON Parsing
· Good knowledge on multi-threaded environment and grand central dispatch
· Advanced object-oriented programming and knowledge of design patterns
· Ability to write clean, well-documented, object-oriented code
· Ability to work independently
· Experience with Agile Driven Development
· Up to date with the latest mobile technology and development trends
· Passion for software development- embracing every challenge with a drive to solve it
· Engaging communication skills
I am terribly sorry but I am completely not interested in working for anyone who might think that this is a job description for an Android engineer.
1. Android was released in September 2008 so finding anyone with 10 years experience now would have to be a Google engineer.
2. UIKit, CoreData, CoreFoundation are all iOS frameworks
3. Grand Central Dispatch is an iOS mechanism for multithreading and is not in Android
4. There are JSON parsing frameworks, no one does that by hand anymore
Please delete me from your emailing list.49
I struggled to find the interview location as the company as they were using another companies offices. As I sit down, sweating, feeling rushed for barely making it on time the interviewer says: "Tell us a joke"
I should have got up and walked out, but since I was there already I pulled this one out:
One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and asked, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I think we should all get out and then get back in.4