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SkillsPython, Node, JS
Joined devRant on 6/15/2018
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Dear recruiters,
if you are looking for
- Java,Python, PHP
- React,Angular
- PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB
- AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS
- *nix system administration
- Git and CI with TDD
- Docker, Kubernetes
That's not a Full Stack Developer
That’s an entire IT department
Yours truly #stolen9 -
The corporate cunts have no clue how manufacturing facilities work. They decided to roll out major changes to their financial systems that control how workers report their hours.
They decide that Dec 29th is a good idea. We are a 24/7 operation and the last 3 days of the year are the busiest time of the year by far trying to meet quotas.
Even today they are trying to finish functionality and are unsure how certain parts will work. This will be a disaster. -
Many people want a cashless society. This is especially useful when:
- you just lost your bank card.
- the banks mobile payment app isn't working at all.
- its Saturday evening.
I'm so fucking glad that I've got some cash left at home and that cash is still a valid payment method 😅28 -
Hands down this year.
10 months ago I left my boring fulltime job and opened my own ltd.
I also had to relocate to another country and basically start my life from 0 (got a nice apartment, new car, new gf and got new exciting remote projects).
Now Im happy, actually never been more happier. I have full control of my life and I dont need to deal with idiots.
I left a boring workplace where no one has an opinion because everybody is trying to stay politically correct meanwhile shit doesnt get done. I also left a toxic relationship where my spoiled by parents gf was constantly nagging me and nothing I would do was ever enough for her.
So my advice is a cliche but follow your gut instinct. Somehow deep down you already know what you are worth, so all is left to do is plan and act accordingly. Take risks. Sooner or later you will get where you want. If not then thats fine, making mistakes means that you actually lived instead of existed like a mindless puppet controlled by strings of outside circumstances.6 -
Root rents an office.
Among very few other things, the company I'm renting an office from (Regus) provides wifi, but it isn't even bloody secured. There's a captive portal with a lovely (not.) privacy policy saying they're free to monitor your traffic, but they didn't even bother using WEP, which ofc means everyone else out to the fucking parking lot four floors down can monitor my traffic, too.
Good thing I don't work for a company that handles sensitive data! /s But at least I don't have access to it, or any creds that matter.
So, I've been running my phone's connection through a tor vpn and sharing that with my lappy. It works, provides a little bit of security, but it's slow as crap. GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER, REGUS.
AND WHILE YOU'RE AT IT, CLEAN THE SHIT OUT OF THE FUCKING BATHROOM FFS.
Ugh. $12/day to work in a freaking wind tunnel (thanks, a/c; you're loud as fuck and barely work), hear other people's phone conversations through two freaking walls, pee in a bathroom that perpetually smells like diarrhea, and allow anyone and everyone within a 50+ meter radius to listen to everything my computer says.
Oh, they also 'forgot' to furnish my office, like they promised. Three freaking times. At least I have a table and chair. 🙄
Desk? What desk?
Fucking hell.20 -
Facebook publicly announced that it won't build a backdoor into its services for the intelligence agencies as for the latest requests to weaken/remove the encryption.
I can only imagine the intelligence agencies going like this now:
NSA director: Alright, as expected they said no so they won't have more damage to their public image, lets go for plan A 2.0!
NSA employee: Aaaand that is?
NSA director: Serve them a FISA court order requiring them to do this shit anyways but also serve a gag order so they can't tell legally.
NSA employee: Ahh, fair enough, I'll get that rolling. By the way, how did we do this with WhatsApp's encryption again?
NSA director: Oh that one was simple. There's a backup function which nearly everyone uses on either Android/iOS which does plaintext backups to Google Drive/iCloud.
NSA employee: Oh, okay. How do we access that data again?
NSA director: PRISM/XKeyScore!
NSA employee: Right, but then still the issue of how we even collect the encrypted messages from Facebo...
NSA director: PRISM/XKeyScore as well, don't worry about that.
NSA employee: But, how'd we justify this....?
NSA director: We probably never have to as these programs operate outside of the public view but otherwise just call terrorism/pedophelia... BAM, done.
NSA employee: Gotya, let's put this into motion!24 -
Unit testing is cool and all, but FFS...
If you want unit test - cool. But its not drop-in replacement for functional testing!
I believe each release should be manually tested.9 -
Solid cube of command blocks. Any guesses what it does?
Hint: hasbro.
(There aren't many context clues in the image, so you'll probably need to blindly guess)18 -
In Germany, the official API for querying the validity of a tax ID, has opening hours. It can only be queried from 5 am to 11 pm, and a response may take up to multiple minutes.
This is the most German thing I can think of. My assumption is that there's an employee manually checking the ID and then pressing a button depending on the result, which then triggers the response.
This API is supplied by the Bundeszentralamt für Steuern, which is basically the German version of the IRS: https://evatr.bff-online.de/eVatR/...20 -
didn't think it'd ever happen but I had to talk a client out of having background music on their site 🙄6
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Wow, just wow.
The Dutch national security spy agency and also their military one are complaining that the organisation that was brought to life to check if they don't spy on innocent people (and execute illegal hacks and overstep their surveillance powers etc) is investigating too much and asking too many technical questions relating to ongoing operations.
Well, this shows that this is necessary apparently! I'm glad this organisation is doing their job.
Oh, the irony.13 -
Welcome to HRMC online.
Please enter your login
Now enter your Gateway ID
Password please
Now User ID
Government ID please
Enter a code we've texted your old number
There's a scroll in your garden. Find it.
Latin name for fox
Your name in Sanskrit
176th digit of Pi
We couldn't identify you.
Last three letters of your father in law's number plate
Your inner-most fear
7523/42*3.5
Your provisional driving license expiry date
Your first girlfriend's mother's maiden name
Capital of Belarus
King Arthur's burial coordinates
You answered all of those correctly.
We still don't recognise you.
A letter containing a government code that relates to none of the above will arrive by boat in 12 to 14 weeks.
Thank you for using HRMC online. We value your feedback. Please stand outside your back door any howl a number between 1 and 10 at the moon.
OP: https://mobile.twitter.com/jbwol/...
Can confirm. It is really like this.7 -
So i just realized why servers are called "servers"
because they SERVE CLIENTS!
I've only been a web dev for 7 years...*facepalm for life*25 -
Attack is the best defence! I read my emails in the morning and figure out whether there's some action for me. When I go and get my second coffee, I drop by the PM's office and have a short chat with him.
Where I am in the projects, whether there's stuff from other tasks or unexpected actions, how long that might take, whether schedules are still OK, whether I need him to take care of some customer communication, these things. Usually less than 5 minutes.
The kicker is that he mostly doesn't interrupt me because I instead interrupt him - unless he is highly busy, in which case he just says "sorry, later", same as I would do.
It's a win-win because I can schedule the interruptions while he enjoys that he doesn't have to ask around.5 -
-- How I feel at work lately, in terms my wife understands --
Me: There's a gas leak, we need to fix it.
Manager: Yeah, use some duct tape, here's a roll.
Me: That's not how we fix a problem like this.
Manager: Will it work to solve the problem?
Me: Only temporarily
Manager: Ask your co-worker if you need help using duct tape, he's used it before. When will it be fixed?12 -
Uber Driver: What do you do, Sir?
Me: I'm an Engineer. What about you?
Uber Driver: I'm a Uber Driver.
Me: :/7 -
I saw a guy building a website today.
No React.
No Vue.
No Ember.
He just sat there.
Writing HTML.
Like a Psychopath.32