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Coding Teacher: "you'll need your laptops for the exam. To prevent you from cheating I'll disable the network now"
...pulls out the network cable on his machine...
"okay you can start now"
🤦🏻♂️16 -
Girlfriend thinks the only reason I feel her breasts is because I don't have a DevRant stress ball 🙈🤔🤓17
-
Me: I’ve been in the web since 2006, of course i know html,css,javascript.
Also me: Google how to center a div.28 -
One day my mum got a call from a man claiming to be from Microsoft. He said there is something wrong with the computer and tried to make her install TeamViewer to "fix" it, but my mum didn't manage to install it for several hours until he gave up.
Sometimes knowing even less can save your PC.7 -
This made my day (and is the 3rd freaking time I try to get this shared here. Definitely need more coffee)
2 -
Me trying to find a good risotto recipe.
Sister-in-law, PhD: What about pumpkin or courgette and salmon?
Me: ...
SIL: ...
Me: Could you add some parentheses?
SIL: (Pumpkin) or (courgette and salmon)?
Me: Much clearer, thanks! Go for courgette and salmon.6 -
My first job: The Mystery of The Powered-Down Server
I paid my way through college by working every-other-semester in the Cooperative-Education Program my school provided. My first job was with a small company (now defunct) which made some of the very first optical-storage robotic storage systems. I honestly forgot what I was "officially" hired for at first, but I quickly moved up into the kernel device-driver team and was quite happy there.
It was primarily a Solaris shop, with a smattering of IBM AIX RS/6000. It was one of these ill-fated RS/6000 machines which (by no fault of its own) plays a major role in this story.
One day, I came to work to find my team-leader in quite a tizzy -- cursing and ranting about our VAR selling us bad equipment; about how IBM just doesn't make good hardware like they did in the good old days; about how back when _he_ was in charge of buying equipment this wouldn't happen, and on and on and on.
Our primary AIX dev server was powered off when he arrived. He booted it up, checked logs and was running self-diagnostics, but absolutely nothing so far indicated why the machine had shut down. We blew a couple of hours trying to figure out what happened, to no avail. Eventually, with other deadlines looming, we just chalked it up be something we'll look into more later.
Several days went by, with the usual day-to-day comings and goings; no surprises.
Then, next week, it happened again.
My team-leader was LIVID. The same server was hard-down again when he came in; no explanation. He opened a ticket with IBM and put in a call to our VAR rep, demanding answers -- how could they sell us bad equipment -- why isn't there any indication of what's failing -- someone must come out here and fix this NOW, and on and on and on.
(As a quick aside, in case it's not clearly coming through between-the-lines, our team leader was always a little bit "over to top" for me. He was the kind of person who "got things done," and as long as you stayed on his good side, you could just watch the fireworks most days - but it became pretty exhausting sometimes).
Back our story -
An IBM CE comes out and does a full on-site hardware diagnostic -- tears the whole server down, runs through everything one part a time. Absolutely. Nothing. Wrong.
I recall, at some point of all this, making the comment "It's almost like someone just pulls the plug on it -- like the power just, poof, goes away."
My team-leader demands the CE replace the power supply, even though it appeared to be operating normally. He does, at our cost, of course.
Another weeks goes by and all is forgotten in the swamp of work we have to do.
Until one day, the next week... Yes, you guessed it... It happens again. The server is down. Heads are exploding (will at least one head we all know by now). With all the screaming going on, the entire office staff should have comped some Advil.
My team-leader demands the facilities team do a full diagnostic on the UPS system and assure we aren't getting drop-outs on the power system. They do the diagnostic. They also review the logs for the power/load distribution to the entire lab and office spaces. Nothing is amiss.
This would also be a good time draw the picture of where this server is -- this particular server is not in the actual server room, it's out in the office area. That's on purpose, since it is connected to a demo robotics cabinet we use for testing and POC work. And customer demos. This will date me, but these were the days when robotic storage was new and VERY exciting to watch...
So, this is basically a couple of big boxes out on the office floor, with power cables running into a special power-drop near the middle of the room. That information might seem superfluous now, but will come into play shortly in our story.
So, we still have no answer to what's causing the server problems, but we all have work to do, so we keep plugging away, hoping for the best.
The team leader is insisting the VAR swap in a new server.
One night, we (the device-driver team) are working late, burning the midnight oil, right there in the office, and we bear witness to something I will never forget.
The cleaning staff came in.
Anxious for a brief distraction from our marathon of debugging, we stopped to watch them set up and start cleaning the office for a bit.
Then, friends, I Am Not Making This Up(tm)... I watched one of the cleaning staff walk right over to that beautiful RS/6000 dev server, dwarfed in shadow beside that huge robotic disc enclosure... and yank the server power cable right out of the dedicated power drop. And plug in their vacuum cleaner. And vacuum the floor.
We each looked at one-another, slowly, in bewilderment... and then went home, after a brief discussion on the way out the door.
You see, our team-leader wasn't with us that night; so before we left, we all agreed to come in late the next day. Very late indeed.9 -
When you're a junior sysadmin but still have to maintain ALL the production server:
How it looks:
$ sudo apt-get update
How it feels:
& sudo [ $[ $RANDOM % 6 ] == 0 ] && rm -rf / || echo *Click*7 -
I used to think that Google knew too much about my personal life, but now I feel like someone finally gets me 😍 (screenshot)
4 -
3 or 4 days before the summer vacations, our teacher came in class and asked us to present whatever projects we've been working on and give a brief description...
Some guys went on the stage, then a few girls,
So being first time on the stage I was pretty nervous and started shaking and sweating a little bit.
I opened up the laptop and project was already open in AS, but had to restart emulator,
but the main thing was, i didn't notice the "blonde lesbians - PornHub" was minimized in the taskbar.
So I opened up cmd and typed "taskill -f -im chrome*" and it vanished. (a little fear increased)
when I finished presentation, some of the students were staring at me, so i made an excuse to go to toilet,
...and I ran out of dept.
after class finished my friends came up to me and said "we saw what was going on there in taskbar" and we laughed.
#NeverEverGoingToDoPresentationEverAgain #TrueStory
7 -
Me : *Logs in to Microsoft account to delete account*
MS: Eeeeeeeee, Add a recovery email or a number!!
Me: Wth! I want to delete my account, why would I give details of one more account.
*sees there is no skip button*
FINE!!!!
*Opens temp mail and gives temp email*
MS: Eeeeee, Now add recovery phone number!!!
Me: What the actual fuck!! No!
*Refreshes and its gone*
Me : *clicks on delete account*
MS: Eeeeee, we are sad , you will loose all data. also your synced device won't start unless you set 'reset protection' to 'disable'.
Me: Hmmmm, deceptive, how do I disable this reset protection.
MS: click here : link
Me: *Clicks to open devices, there is no fucking option called reset protection*
*Dafuq!! You wanna get complicated? Ok! Fine!! Get this now!
*Removes the account from every fucking thing from my system, one drive, store and what not*
*Disable this shit now*
MS: ok, disabling, please check the security code on your temp email!
Me: Glad I didn't close the temp email tab, here, do your shit now!
MS: Are you sure?
Me: YES!
MS: Really sure?
Me: ..... Yes
MS: We have flagged for deletion, but if you want to activate back click on the only button we show you on the entire screen.
Me: I know these games of yours. They stand no chance in front of my awareness!!
*closes browser*
The End17 -
Time spent creating an error response...
Implementing the response: 5%
Choosing the error message: 95%1 -
so my mom wanted to write some word document, but she didn't use her laptop for like ~5 years, it didn't boot up so she asked me to fix, now here is what I found :
>the laptop had a 240 gb hdd
>the hdd was literally broken
>bought her a new 500 gb hdd
>installed windows 7
>took 10 mins to install
>took 19 minutes to boot up
>removed windows 7
>installed win xp
>took 30 mins to install
>took 3 minutes to boot up
>opened windows
>checked pc specs
>see picture below
>[insert wtf gif here]
>installed drivers
>took 20 minutes to install drivers
>[insert epic music here]
>tried installing office 2016
>insta regret
>tried installing office 2010
>memory farted and I couldn't even move the cursor
>installed office 2007
>mom started writing document peacefully
>after 2 hours bsod
>mom asks me to fix
>opens laptop to check internal components
>the cpu had a black hole inside
>the fans weren't working due to the circuit being burnt for some reason
>kills laptop
>kills mom
>kills self
>live peacefully in hell
12 -
The Absolutely True Story of a Real Programmer Who Never Learned C.
I have a young friend named Sam who is quite a programming prodigy. Sam does know C! I need to make this clear: he’s not the titular programmer.
But a couple years ago Sam told me a story about a different programmer who never learned C, and I liked it so much that right on the spot I asked his permission to repeat it. (I could never just steal such a tale.)
Sam wasn’t always a programmer—actually he started in his later teens, in part because he was more of a jock, and in part because he was related to programmers and wanted to do his own thing. But, like all great programmers, once he was bitten by the bug he immersed himself completely in it.
One day Sam happened to be talking programming with his uncle, who was also a programmer but from way, way back.
“Hey,” said Sam, “I’m learning this language called C. You must know a lot of languages, did you ever study C?”
“No,” said the uncle, to Sam’s surprise. “I am one of the very few programmers who never had to learn C.”
“Because I wrote it.”
Oh, Sam’s last name is Ritchie.
What I love about this story is the idea of Dennis waiting Sam’s entire life to deliver this zinger. Just imagine sitting on a line that good, watching your nephew grow up and waiting, waiting until the one day he finally starts learning to code. Did he work on the line in his head at night? Like, “Hmm, how should I word it so I can deliver the punch line perfectly? Should I say ‘I never took a class on C?’ Nah, too awkward…”
The great thing about geniuses is how much effort they put into everything.
Courtesy : Wil Shiply.5 -
My boss asked me to do tech support today as one of tech support employee was not feeling well.
The very first call i attended, went like:
Me : Sir, this is xyz support desk. How may i help you?
*Listening his problem*
Me : Sir solution is pretty simple. Just do a Right click on application shortcut icon and then select "Open File Location".
Client : where can i find "Right Click"?2 -
"Nothing good will ever come of this computer thing of yours. Stop wasting time and learn something useful."
. . .
My Mom was telling me this for years.4 -
Headline of a computer magazine our class gets:
"AI is missing one of its important parts - intelligence"13 -
Support: A customer complained about a nasty bug.
Senior Dev: There are no bugs in our software, just challenges that need to be solved.2 -
No, listen to me. I cannot approve this PR because your code does not comply with our code style. All the imports and annotations must be sorted in ascending order by length. They must all make fir-like blocks of code. Because it looks nice.
Now go and fix your code
I just smiled and walked away to obfuscate my code with firs . I had no idea what to even say to that... I still don't13 -
What's the difference between a wasp and single loose hair?
Apparently none till the wasp stings :/
Yesterday I thought I had a loose hair on my neck.. ok, I shrug it off.. later again the creepy feeling.. shrugs off..
I continue to work, sumberged in code, wanting to find the fucker (bug, not the wasp/hair).. lean in to the monitor... 10 cents away from the screen... Ok, maybe that's it! Feels the hair on my back, near shoulderblades again... shrugging again more violently to get it further down to fall out.. nothing.. ok, got the bug, threw myslef back in the chair with substential force & BAAAAM!!! Motherfucking hair bit me!! O.o
I scream in horror & on top of the lungs (it was late, after work hours so I didn't expect anyone else still at the office) PROKLETA PRASICA (roughly translated to goddamn female swine).. I previously saw some green bug flying around the office and I thought that nasty thing bit me (didn't know they bite soo, much more horror for me).. O.o
Anyhow, I jump up from the computer and see my coworker looking at me all baffled.. I proceed to franticly take of my headphones and hoodie..thinking about wtf should I do now, I cannot get undressed in front of him (not for my sake, bra is the same as top of the bathing suit for me, but still..I don't want anyone suing me for impropper behaviour of undreasing in front of coworkers..), how the fuck should I get to the toilet?! O.o
C: Are you ok?!
M: Um.. sth bit me..wtf?!
C: There was a wasp flying around somewhere some time ago.. are you alergic?!
M: um..not sure, I don't think so..we'll see soon..
I proceed to the WC, to take off tshirt & check/kill off the fucker.. on my way there (walking funny to not press the hair to my body again) I got another surprise, another coworker was working late..
C2: Are you ok?! O.o
M: yeah, sth bit me, probably a wasp..
Ok, finally on the loo..ok, do not lock self in in case it escapes and you need help.. don't even shut the door. Check.. standing between the doors I contemplate on how the fuck should I take my tshirt off without angering the fucker even more and getting bitten again.. O.O
I lifted the tshirt up my back to let it out.. nope, not there..the creepy felling of buzzing around between my shoulder blades continues.. crap.. what to do?!
I stood there & contemplated the task.. ok, roll up the tshirt to the shoulder blades, not against the body (duh) to prevent further stings..tighten the fabric, so it cannot escape, quickly remove the band from the body.. done..reversed the tshirt and straightened it.. bzzz... Fucker fell somewhere.. Dafaq?! Was it really just a wasp?! If yes, no problem...but what if coworker was wrong and I got bitten by that nasty green whateveritsname bug?! Eeeeewwww! Is it poisonous? Gotta find it & kill it for good.. waited a bit, than saw a goddamn wasp crawl from under the toilet.. wasp!! Yess!! Stopm stomp fucker!!
I get dressed & go back to my desk..
C: Did you terminate it?!
M: Yup, fucker went on a toilet paper trip down the drain!!
I sit down, starting to get my headphones back on and proceed to work.., but before I could, one last gem:
C: CTO would say, thank god it didn't sting you in your finger cuz you wouldn't be able to type anymore..
M: O.O so true hahhahahaaa
Disclaimer - I like animals, but I freakking hate wasps..especially if they get under my tshirt to sting.. :/8 -
You know you are Linux guy/girl when you type sudo apt-get install someprogram into Windows cmd LOL.5
-
Coolest thing about platforms like devrant, is that it's so easy to get people to read what you have to say, and get them to notice you.
It doesn't matter if you have a nice profile picture, have a lot of friends/followers or anything like that.
The content is what matters.
Also, its not like everything here is developer related or is super nerdy, most of the stuff you see are normal things you'd expect people to post on things like Facebook when they want to be social and connect with people.
It's sad that this is not how most social media is done.8 -
Where I work, in our database, we use 3 to indicate true and 7 to indicate false and 0 is true but null is false
In another table, we use 'P' to indicate true and 'I' to indicate false and 'Y' is also false and null is false
And the most used table, we also use 'Y' to indicate yes and 'N' to indicate no, but null is also Yes.
We also store integers as varchar in a live table, but stays an integer in all the other tables. I hope I'm not there when the number of digits exceeds the varchar limit.
These are all live and used in production all created by my boss, the head of IT.8 -
Want to piss off the person reviewing your PR?
don't just return true or false use 1 == 1 for true and 1 == 2 for false.
Watch the glorious rage unfolds 🤘🤘🤘6 -
Just found this while trying to understand some code:
```
bool ok = true;
if(ok) {
// lots of code here
} else {
// even more code here
}
```
I thought this was worth my first rant...6 -
That moment when you notice your "extremely professional" client's email address begins with zzcool500
😂😂4 -
Everything but UI/UX
Because I suck at it, lame but true, I love every kind of code, from MEAN and LAMPP to assembly, but when it comes to UI I just lack of the imagination and creativity to design something that looks averagely good.6 -
Truth:
Windows updates have nevah annoyed me !
And
My computer never restarted by itself while i am working!
Is it because i am lucky or you guys dnt know update setting exists?15 -
> be me a 23 y.o intern
> two years on self learned MEAN stack
> first day of intern<
> boss: we need you to become an iOS intern
> me: *whut*
> me: *thinking swift syntax is similar to JavaScript*
> me: OK, in swift ?
> boss: No, in Obj-C
> me: *fuck*
> spend 2 days to familiarize with Obj-C
> boss: Here's a bug, solve it.
> me: OK
> me: *checking their code for the first time*
> me: *fuck, fucking huge*
> me: *open up bug related ViewConttoller*
> me: *fuck, 6k lines of code*
> me: *fucking MVC*
> spend 2 hours to fix the bug <
> boss: you did great ! awesome
> me: *heh*
> boss: *announce to everyone* from now on INTERN will take over the project.
> me: *whut*
> boss: here's our roadmap plz implement features
> after 3 months <
> me fixing bug <
> me do feature development <
> me write shitty code <
.
.
.
repeat, life as an intern7 -
So out shopping on a Saturday with the other half and 12yo son.... He clearly is wise before his years when he asks
"why do we always get dragged around all of the shops mum wants too go and we have to sit there waiting while if we want to go anywhere she complains and we can't?"
Hate to generalise but he's already figured out what most shopping trips in married life are!3 -
Assigned to a new project team..
Using git, in a creative way. So.. "master" is "dev" branch, usually. Everyone can push their branch to dev server .. so it's "dynamic for us". Production branch is whatever, as long as the branch has the release version. Sometimes, the release comes from "master".. that mean "dev" in normal geek..
That's just Git. The source code is a saturated spagetti of Entity framework and Caliburn. It is littered with antipatterns, especially basebean. Holy Christmas and Easter that baseclass do a lot of stuff that has no place as a base class ..
Fucking frameworks, I'm gonna start to evangelize frameworks as the no1 antipattern.
MS SQL as the main DB, but is dumped to json FILES through a scheduled task to increase read performance on web.
There is a soap endpoint to expose the json files, fml..
I am assuming I was placed here to improve stuff, I have never in my life seen anything like this before.
There is a special place in hell for this repository7 -
Is it true that the seo guys get more ++ because they know how to tag the post in a manner that keeps it on top in algo list?4
-
A client, who don't know about programming. But only wants to finish the project ASAP
Me - It's complicated to implements this new feature.
Client - It's easy!3 -
When you ask Windows to copy two large folders simultaneously and you see : "Time remaining : 1634 years, 156 days and 3 hours".
Sorry I quit, these 3 hours are too long!2 -
Not kidding. I just woke up from a dream where Linus Torvalds invited us to his house. We were talking about early days of git and his views on Cloud bleed. I don't want to wake up 😭😭😭
-
We finish our sprints on time.
The PM congratulates us for the good work.
The client gives positive feedback too.
And yet, I have the feeling we're sailing full-speed straight into an iceberg.2 -
I swear next time I see a UHD TV sold as 4K I'm gonna pop a cap in the lying fucker who mislabeled it!
4K has 552,960 more pixels dammit! This is the "720 HD" bullshit all over again!2 -
bool True = false;
bool False = true;
if (True == true)
{
False = True;
}
else
{
True = true;
False = !true;
}
if (!False == !!true && True == !false)
{
False = True;
True = (!!False)true;
}
Console.WriteLine("Banana");5 -
Time to shine!
Laptop [Check]
Coding Playlist [Check]
Motivation [Check]
Focus...
Oh look an Interesting YouTube Video that is probably just clickbait... *click*
Started coding 2 hours later... -
this code is messy .. it has to be refactored..
abstact those classes to commom interfaces .. create a base class for all those common classes .. make this a parameter, make that a setting.. generalize this, pass a behaviour to that.. separate responsobilities..
hmm .. need to handle that special case .. let's just add a temp method for now to get it compiling .. //todo this later .. maybe add a couple virtual bools to handle the base class behaviour
238 compilation errors! .. let's do a static var for now on this.. and just add this for backward compatibility .. maybe hardcode that dll name, I know it'll NEVER change..
aah finally, all compiles..
oh..
this code is messy .. it has to be refactored.. -
My Neighbors still have written "Merry X mas" on their window... I am not sure if they're dead or just using IE
-
I run a Discord for a small community and I found a image I really liked as most new users seems to think it's OK not to read the rules or believe that respect must be a rule rather then a thing given by them by choice.
5 -
Amazing client.
Want to add parallax effect to whole website (yes I also don't understand) after everything is done and final.
After they have moved up the launch date.
After they have asked me to also do the data entry not only the development.
After I specifically asked for ssh access, PHP7+ server and then they asked me to deploy it to their shared hosting through cpanel.
After ...
After ....
After .....11 -
I haven't built a new computer in 9 years, but I finally, finally got together enough money to go big.
POWER: Seasonic Focus Plus 850W 80+ Gold
MOTHERBOARD: NZXT N7 Z370 ATX LGA1151 (Black)
GPU: EVGA GTX 1080 FTW GAMING
CPU: INTEL Core i7-8700K 3.7GHz 6-Core
RAM: G.SKILL TridentZ 3000 Mhz 32GB (2 x 16 GB)
SSD: SAMSUNG 860 EVO 1TB
CPU COOLING: NZXT Kraken X62
I can't fucking wait for it to arrive.5 -
It was sometime in 2009. I kept seeing these ads for something called Bitcoin. I had some extra cash, so I decided to buy $100 worth. I had my debit card out, and was trying to figure out how it worked. Got distracted with a work email, and decided to put it off until later. I forgot all about it until around 2013 when I read about some guy that bought a house using $70 worth of Bitcoin he bought in 2009.2
-
So I just had my another CUTSOM (code-until-the-start-of-meeting) practice. 🤷
Proud of myself for pulling it off when yesterday was a day of OS reinstallation-fuckartory and a night of stormy-no-power. 🕺
And at the same time, hating at myself. 🤦♂️3 -
My man said "What should I return if the True/False field is left blank?"
WHY WOULD A BOOLEAN BE ANYTHING OTHER THAN TRUE OR FALSE???!!!
I'm gonna have an aneurysm. I shouldn't be educating people on best practices for something that's already been written about time and time again. RESTful philosophy has been documented so much, and all it takes is a quick google search, but noooo! I have to take time out of my day as if I'm a regular old stakeholder to explain that I want the exact thing that I sent in an email two weeks ago. Amazing.20 -
TL;DR The prodigal son returns.
A long time ago my partner in crime left the company. So I was a "one man army", until management gave me 2 newbies to train. We'll call them X and Y.
X was new to the company, while Y was moved from a different area. During the time I was training them I realized which of the two had potential, or at least was paying attention.
Some more time passed and X was showing signs of being a good candidate to join the team. Y, on the other hand, well there were stories from his previous team. Not good.
Guess who was added to my team. It wouldn't be a rant if it was the capable one. Y was added to my team, while X was sent to a completely different area.
Time passed and I suffered many misfortunes. But this week, I saw him sitting next to my desk, X is back. I'll probably have to get him up to speed, but my little prodigy is back! -
Colleague: Let's see the luna(r) eclipse.
Me: But that was a while ago.
Colleague: No it is today. Let's go out and see.
Me: Out.!! But how could you run eclipse there?
Colleague: What??
Me: What..?? Oh...!!
*awkward silence*
All the while I was thinking why would a node dev require eclipse, when he could perfectly work with something like vscode. Feels so stupid. -
Is there a relation with bad long term memory and programmers?
Most really good programmers I know don't have great memeory11 -
*Puts the same music in infinite loop through a whole afternoon of coding*
*Gets tired of the music after 2 hours and a half (my playlist contains some dope musics)*
*Removes the infinite loop to let the next music come*
*Head starts to headbang by itself when the next music starts*
*Puts said music to infinite mode*
*Repeat*6 -
Helped somebody learning Arduino (he is new to programming in general)...
I saw this at the top of his file...
I admire his effort tho...
14 -
the web developer equivalent of waiting for code to compile is waiting for your local test DB to be populated with recent data from the production DB2
-
Computers fear my devaura. Everytime I get called to fix something it magically starts working when I enter the room. 5 Minutes after I leave it broke again.
Repeat like while(true)3 -
*downloads YouTube videos by ssyoutube.com and convyoutube.com
*tries YouTube Go
*downloads some videos by YouTube Go
*They are downloaded with captions
*Undecided
*YouTube Go randomly tries to redownload the videos
*thinking about come back to ssyoutube.com and convyoutube.com5 -
German saying:
Die Hälfte seines Lebens
wartet der Admin vergebens.
means in English:
The Admin waits in vain for half of his life.1 -
Me: *suggests an architectural input to something that would have taken care of a lot of shit in our project*
Lead Dev: *doesn't completely try to understand what I suggested* I don't know if this would work, it seems a "bit weird"(really?). I think we need to rethink our current architecture. *Moves on to redesign everything from the base up and asks us to adopt so we go on and delete a lot of the existing code and basically rewrite everything*
- 10 days later
Lead Dev: *sees the same old issues with using the new architecture and suggests the same approach that I had suggested earlier, only this time he came up with it and it's a brand new idea*
Me: WTF! *Screams into oblivion*2 -
Prepared for one of the best start ups around me. Able to make it in my second chance. Answered some of the most difficult questions asked in the interviews.
Now when it's about the salary, they are giving me a nominal hike.
I mean seriously, my days and nights for this.
Height of frustration when I'm trying to switch for a year now.5 -
Code = play games
Watch a tutorial = watch a movie
Read docs = read a novel
So I end up being scolded for never studying for my academics and just having fun all the time -
Me: I'm quite good at C programming language
Also me: Checks man page for library functions' information6 -
I'm very frustrated at my job. Nobody gives a shit to work and don't have technical knowledge. My colleague keeps on battering the peers. And colleagues are discussing everything without me.
So trying to switch company but no luck in a year. And I have stopped working at my job. Gives me serious anxiety.7 -
Setting up a single node Hadoop cluster. Then installing intellij idea, to find that it doesn't detect any installed jdk. Then uninstalled all jdks, and then reinstalled one, then Hadoop won't work. Now everything seems fine.
-
I'm quite shocked today after receiving an email which acknowledges me with so much respect that I cannot handle, I mean this has never happened in my entire life, I can't even handle it2
-
Classmate from school has logged in to his gmail account on my laptop and has not logged out yet. Now I have access to all the his subscription including g facebook.
Now as a friend and human, should I teach him a expensive lesson ?
You time starts now. Reply fast 00:59:0015 -
I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.
Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !
I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies2 -
another true story time:
be me
read about banned pokemon episodes on wikipedia
electric soldier porygon: an episode that red blue flashes caused 685 viewers taken to hospitals by ambulances
😈lets try it
write a simple program that makes same light effects
try it on myself
no kill
try it on roommates
no kill
try to send it as many people i can reach
omg people why don't you die?
gave up after 1 week of unsuccessful attempts4 -
Anybody else use ellipses somewhat excessively? My GF pointed it out about me and I was like... Sorry.3
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Kind of dev related, during a Firefly one-shot roleplay:
GM: So you have a data chip in your pocket. Do you want to see what's on it?
Me (hesitant): ...Kinda. *wait* Okay, I put the chip into one of my computers.
GM: The data chip shows random gibberish--it's encrypted. Your engineer may know how to decrypt it.
Me: Okay. Hey, Engineer! *holds imaginary data chip out to her* Decrypt this!
Engineer: No. *pause*, *sighs* Fine. But we need to be careful.
GM: Yes, now time for technobabble...
Me: So once we decrypt this, it's probably going to look for the MAC address, so we need an air-gapped machine--a machine that's never been online before--and a TAILS LiveUSB. We'll decrypt the data chip and then destroy the computer.
GM: ...Technobabble.
Fighter: ....I actually understood that and it actually makes sense. Good job. *fist bump*1 -
No, that Nigerian prince is not real and it is a scam, and no, I am not jealous and I don't envy you, you know what, it is totally legit ... I was lying ...
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Sing: "110 little bugs in my code,
110 little bugs,
Fixing one bug,
Compiling again
Now there are 121 little bugs in the code"3 -
We have this guy at the company who always presents good ideas and always suggests new projects. One day he suggested a great project, our boss really liked the idea and gave me the green light to start creating it.
The guy, seeing the opportunity to promote himself, and without consulting me about the deadline, set up a meeting to present the application to the directors, and only then informed me about the deadline. At that moment I did my part, told him that it would not be possible to meet the deadline with all the requirements, something had to be withdrawn, and that's what he did, took a lot of things from the project and we went on like this.
While I was implementing the application, he was always pushing, asking me to do it faster, asking my boss to put me exclusively in his project, and things like that, the boss was always saying that there were not enough people on the team to devote someone exclusively to the project. The guy of course did not agree with that.
At the end the application, without a lot of the initial requirements, was a really mess but ready, he presented to the directors, who in turn liked a lot, and consequently asked to do all the initial requirements and some more. But now those initial requirements had to be made on top of a mess because of all the rush and adaptations.
A few months later, with the change of the board, the guy turned up being my boss, and I've prepared myself to go back to his project with exclusive dedication.
Then came the surprise, when the guy, in the boss position, realized the limitations of the team, instead of putting me to do everything he wanted in that project, he canceled the project entirely and for all the reasons that had already been said to him by the former boss.
Please, don't be like that guy!2 -
Looks like someone forgot to full screen chrome after it crashed... It's it just me or has chrome been crashing way more the past year than it has ever been?
2 -
Did A big stupid thing right now
Deleted a web page, which took me three days to write. Very pissed right now. Should have added to GitHub repo
I started working on a new file on my project. After I finished working on the project I started doing something which didnt worked out. So I deleted the local version of the repo since the repo was backed up on the server. But the file that I completed last night was not yet added to the repo.1 -
Funny thing I like to do sometimes that I learned from the movie called Office Space:
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work. -
So I was checking out Scaleway home page, and they said: Gitlab use their infrastructure?
Is it pure lie or gitlab really host something there? And why would they do that if they use Google?
I don't know what to trust these days lol23 -
Implementing tons of ridiculous/almost impossible features you disagree with cause you're just a powerless employee who needs the job..
You still do it anyway. -
I read the other day that tech companies are trying and failing to make chips smaller and faster by reducing transistor size.
Yet Apple does this with ease. You know how?
They remove or REDUCE the number of transistors to make it smaller.2 -
They're all waiting in line to buy the new Iphone X while I'm sitting on my chair waiting for my brand new Nexus 5 to be delivered 🤗
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When someone ask me to pick between two things to eat using "or" I take both because it's true.
- "Popcorn or nachos"
- Both2 -
You know ya listening to too much daft punk when you start calling methods after the song your listening too, SearchDaFunc Func returning to a polling Func, anyway here's Da Funk
https://youtube.com/watch/... -
True story: We had once a project where the manager tells the client we are using the Waterfall but internally the devs are actually doing Agile. >_<1
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For my final project of first year at middle school (that's before university), I had to make a experiment and measured it using a circuit connected to the computer. At the end I couldn't finish but I made a program for explain what the circuit (expected) did using one of the Microsoft Office's assistant (Merlin the wizard), Merlin moved around the screen talking about the experiment and what the circuit measured it over and over, almost forgotten to tell I had to show it in a science festival to anybody who came at school, none asked about the experiment or the circuit, all the questions was about how I made the program, how the program could speech in spanish and explain the experiment.
At the begining of that day I was so nervous, but at the end I could say fuck yeah.
And the program was a macro in Basic with text to speech of a Loquendo like voice, I only record the movements and put the text.
That's one of the reason of I like programming, it save it my ass.
That was more than ten years ago, I didn't have a computer only at the school, internet not was so common.1 -
So yesterday night, I went to sleep thinking of this unfinished task. I did wake up with an awesome solution in my head, but now as I reached office, I forgot the fucking solution and how I arrived to that stage. fml
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F Apple. I've got their touch-driven, motion-sensing, centimeter-thick, supercomputer (by 1990 standards) from 2012, and I can't fscking run Linux on it because my only official choices are the old iOS 7.0.0 over-the-air update and the newest iOS 9.3.5, and no one has published how to get root to either stupid OS so I can run an exploit on the stupid fucking boot loader.4
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We all have that one friend who can't code, but still made an entire rainmeter layout. Now he wants to show you his work. If that works, put it somewhere in a folder never to be found again and keep it out of my sight.
There is a hell, believe me I have seen it. -
Do you know the "Boobs Bonus"?
For example, in an IT School, if your project group have at least a girl, your group have some bonus points on your notation ... I hate this for many reasons 😡!!!
Teachers deny & hide this fact because it's now a "tradition"2 -
Ethernet switch is broken
This happened last week, parts of our lan was working so could still connect to our svn server but no internet at work for a couple of days bar stack overflow on my phone. -
!dev
I was thinking about the past ... i once stalked a girl for 3 years on ask.fm sending her anonymous love notes and poems. Then she shut it down for a different reason and now i miss doing it.5 -
What if I have got a job in the same company where they have Category 1 warning letter in my file?
So I worked as an intern for this MNC, after 2 years of working in another firm, I reapplied and went through interviews and now my offer letter has to be processed in 2 weeks.
I had a warning letter in my file there when I interned, although it's been 2 years but I'm scared that during background check they might withdraw the offer.
Please help me here.2 -
Saw a rant by @arekxv (link: https://www.devrant.io/rants/216484).
Read this article the other day and just laughed...because it's all too real.
https://medium.com/@jjperezaguinaga...
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