When you see a semi bald man with a messy beard, bit too much belly, a dead look in the eyes that carries a pc bag.

And your first thought is "oh, a sys admin" x)

Aww... I think I just had an orgasm

Why did I want to come to a long line to maybe get some donuts...

So last night was a Friday. After leaving the gym I noticed a missed call and a voicemail from my client.

Note this was sent at 21:50 on a Friday night.

My client stated they were "rather disappointed" (to use their phrasing) that I didn't answer. There is no contract that I answer out of hours or any issues with their system.

This morning, I noticed my client followed up with an email. It was a single line saying they found some new AWS services they like to talk about (translate: "I've found some new AWS acronyms that sound cool that I wish to talk about for several hours").

Emergency! :)

Seriously, clients, sometimes :(

That's the exact question that came to me 2 years back when I was also going to go to sleep early tonight

Boss: I saw that you are using {some JavaScript library}, why?

Me: you asked for this functionality and the library is very good for that

Boss: here at our company we do not use code from other people, we write everything ourselves

Me: but this library is very well built, actively developed and supported

Boss: I don't care, please rewrite this component

Suffice to say, I quit that job asap. Whoever thinks it's a good idea write so much code for a small purpose in an application when there is something available open source to use, is stupid. In most cases it's better to use something which is out there than to waste time writing a hardly stable version of it.

I mean... Yeah

You fucking dense motherfucker of a professor. You mentally disabled shit-eater. You fucking perfectly know that I have been offered a very good position in a company I really wanted to work at and you fucking force me to stay and wait for the next graduation date to make me get my fucking degree. Just because you offered me a PhD position and I didn't want it.
I sincerely hope you lose all your prestige. Fucking choke with a big ass cock in your throath, eat your own vomit disgusting piece of shit. You are a fucking 60yo child. You have no respect for people work, you always want more. Get cancer fucking animal.

HOLY SHIT HANG URSELF

Sometimes you wish life was like computer, so every time some fuck happens you can just fix it or reinstall it

Programming as fast as you can because of deadlines

I found a duck today and just had to put a little cape on it 😂
I guess you could say..I really want the d 😏
Sadly I could not convince it to become my companion 😭

In my second year,
I told my teacher I can code in in C#(c-sharp).

She replied : C-sharp ? Oh you mean C-hash !

*that day I lost hope in college*

I surely belong to procasti-nation....

Set up an account at Wells Fargo today and they told me the password requirements... This is a joke right?

Me every morning, trying to find my will to go to work

Instagram for windows 98 😀

Welcome to the 22nd century.

Where you pay money to download videos.

Gotta love temporary laptops while waiting for your actual device. I literally have to press letter "T" like playing Tekken in the arcade.

Why can't you just fucking tell me what type of website you want. Every week you are fucking adding/removing new features and don't want to pay for it. You know what? Fuck you! From next week Monday I' am putting your website on hold until you agree to pay for the changes we made for the past 3 weeks.

On the same note, fuck you to my General Manager who thinks he will get laid for not charging for the changes made to the website. She is just using you dumb piece of shit.

be me.
be sad that you can't find your favorite Greek Food online.
offer your local Greek Restaurant that you do their web stuff.
make a nice modern website.
show it to the greek guy.

"Oh please look at this website, I like it more"
shows you a site build with tables, and menu-shortcuts only linked to pdf files.

cry in a corner.

BIG RANT
"Google is sadly following in Apple’s footsteps and nixing the traditional audio jack on its newest smartphones."
Fuuuuuckkkkkkkkkk offfffff you fucking non progresists pricks. I just can't stand this negativity anymore....
Source: https://theverge.com/platform/amp/...

Seems legit.

Love how you guys swear and just say whatever here.

Such a nice change from the cunts at HN that sit there choking on their own dicks and giving you -20 for using the word fuck.

Ranted about this internship before but just remembered this.

1st internship.

The employees and the boss were having a joke/laugh. I found it funny as well so I laughed along

A little later the boss pulled me outside (as well as my internship guide person): why where you laughing along? You had nothing to do with that conversation. It was none of your fucking business. Stay out of other people's business, understood?

I was scared, shaking and trying to keep my tears in.

That was not the best internship.

Colleague: Hey! This is not finished!
Me: Did you pull from the repo?
Colleague:
Me:
Colleague: Oh look, it's finished.

Internship number two.

*walks downstairs to get a coffee*
*CTO (my guider) walks in*
CTO: (dead serious face) "linuxxx (not using my first name :P), come with me please"
*walks along to his office, starting to get reallly fucking nervous*
*CTO and me walk into his office, he sits down and looks at me very serious*
*I'm slightly shaking, nervous, sweating*
CTO: "So."
*oh yes here it is its gonna come I did something wrong fuck fml 😫😥😨😩*
CTO: "So you know quite some stiff around security/privacy. Could you tell me some stuff about why I'd want to use VPN and recommend me some good providers? 😀"
😅
*nearly falls onto the ground from relief*

I explained him some stuff and sent him a list of good providers 😀

I’ll work at home! I’m sure I’ll be more productive!

IT JOBS explained with a broken light bulb

Started working in a company as an intern, they want me to do everything whether I know how to or not.

I was told that my granny was having trouble signing into Facebook, so I go to help her and this is what happens.

Me: try and open Facebook.
Granny: *looks confused*
Granny: oh I know!
Granny: *opens up Gmail*
Me: *wtf is she doing?*
Granny: *opens an email from Facebook*
Granny: ok, I'm in Facebook.

Not sure whether to cringe or laugh 😅