*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂

Love working with atom using this theme in coffeeshops, making people think I'm a top hacker, when in reality I'm just stuck with css classes or something. Equally stupid.

Favourite Programming Quote - Whats yours?

"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things." - Bill Bryson

"Are you running android?"
"No Samsung"
"So your OS is android"
"No Samsung"

Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?

Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses

All this stupid people working. I got a 8 Million $ Check from a south african prince. All i need to do is pay 3000$ for the paperwork. Im out you idiots.

I just spoke to a particularly arrogant and patronizing cock, some guy I barely know from university and heaven't heard of in three years, who wanted me to build his new homepage. He made it sound like a real business inquiry, and he obviously thought he could smooth-talk me into creating his website cheaper or even for free, because 'it's just clicking a few buttons anyway, right?'

Shut your fucking cock holster and listen, you clown-faced copper coin rent boy: I speak six programming languages, which isn't even much for a modern programmer, while you aren't even able to speak German properly, even though you're still fucking studying the language. Why the fuck do you think I've taken the trouble to learn all that? Because knowing JavaScript will make me click the buttons harder or what? Fuck you, go lick a public toilet seat while getting your ass fucked for spare change, and never ever fucking call me again, you worthless piece of shit.

Whenever I come across some acronyms...

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

"So you're a coder?"
"Yeah"
"Can you hack the pentagon then"

🙃

Got a phone call: I got an error, what do I do?
Me: what kind of error?
Her: I closed it.
Me: what did it say?
Her: I don't know, it was a window with "ok" and "cancel"
Me: why didn't you read it?
Her: I don't understand this computer language.

/me dies a little inside.
There is nothing quite as stupid as people who refuse to read their own language as soon as it appears on a screen.
They make those things for a reason.
This happens too often.

I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!

I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?

I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!

Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out

Once again, on a fucking saturday:

"I need a new password, mine won't work anymore"

Yeah, of course it simply stopped working. It deleted itself from the database. It flew away and started a family with another shitty password. That seems far more logical and reasonable than that YOU JUST FUCKING FOGOT YOUR SHITTY ASS PASSWORD AND ARE SIMPLY TOO FUCKING LAZY OR STUPID TO USE THE GODAMMN PASSWORD RESET FUNCTION!

You know what? I can't be arsed on saturdays. I'm going to send this fucking twat a link to the password reset form. On monday afternoon.

Seriously, how can people like that even breathe with their heads that far up their asses?

Please be gentle, first rant here.

I'm a hobby .NET Developer, so nothing serious, but when a "close" friend asked me if i could help him, i saw my opportunity to show my skills.
Said "close" friend is working for a non profit agency and deals with a lot of people, so he asked for a database with some extras. The task was fairly easy and i needed 2 weeks (besides my real Job), to get what he wants.
The big day comes and I show him my work. He was very pleased with it, and also I did it for free, he paid me actually really good money for it. I designed that DB as idiot proof as possible, but i should have known better.
2 month went by without a single crash or any other Problems, but yesterday i received a call..
Him: Your Update broke everything!! fix it asap!!
Me: What happend, I did not push an update for 2 month.
Him: You A**hole, its all your fault!!

After like 5 mins of swearing, I agreed to come over and have a look.
Oh boii, you would'nt believe how stupid some people can be..
Let me tell you, he got 2 files "ProgrammName.exe" and "ProgrammName_Database" and this idiot of a Person thought "hmm my PC ist getting kinda slow, let me delete some junk, so he goes ahead and deletes the whole Database and calls me stupid names, because he lost all his data, and no, MR.I GOT 20 TOOL-BARS INSTALLED AND I DELETE SOME JUNK ASS FILES, I DONT HAVE A BACKUP OF YOUR STUFF!!

So now you know why i called him "close" friend..

People don't know how to use a normal laptop anymore.

This year I had at least three people touching my display multiple times, wondering why it doesn't respond to it. Totally clueless how to use it at all.

One of them worked for the biggest german ISP in the past.

Human degeneration is real.

Uncle: Programmers who design physics engines do so by typing 1s and 0s on a console. That's why they get paid so much.

Me: 🤔🔪

Google searching should be a school subject. There is so much people that dont know how to use it

Boss: I saw that you are using {some JavaScript library}, why?

Me: you asked for this functionality and the library is very good for that

Boss: here at our company we do not use code from other people, we write everything ourselves

Me: but this library is very well built, actively developed and supported

Boss: I don't care, please rewrite this component

Suffice to say, I quit that job asap. Whoever thinks it's a good idea write so much code for a small purpose in an application when there is something available open source to use, is stupid. In most cases it's better to use something which is out there than to waste time writing a hardly stable version of it.

My mother just came in after some swearing in the room below me...

💩 "The printer doesn't work."
🎀 "What happens?"
💩 "nothing"
🎀 "Something -has- to happen."
💩 "..."
🎀 "what does the error message say?"
💩 "..."
💩 ".........."
💩 "..............."
🕛
🕐
🕜 30 seconds pass by, she starring at my legs, making weird faces and finally:
💩 "Nothi... It... Printer not... Ready to print... Or... I didn't memorize it!!"

People. Don't make up stuff just because you fear to sound stupid. That's what makes you look stupid in the first place. Also learn how to use devices and don't just say "it doesn't work and nothing at all happens".

Guys, you're all right. Time to delete this cancer called Facebook that is full of stupid people.

Just now someone seriously added me as a friend, said we don't know each other and then asked me "what's your name?"

Like what the fuck.

What the actual fuck? Person (or people!) who devised this password policy, you are an idiot (or idiots - all of you). You are stupid and insane and have no idea about security or user experience.

We should really think about writing "New Password" or something like that in our registration forms.

The amount of times people asked me "Should I insert the password of my email account or a new one? That is so confusing!" is not funny anymore.

rant && !dev

I've never felt more of an urge to kick a guy's fucking face in with my freaking combat boots as much as tonight. I really had to constrain myself not to fucking kill that whorse-blowing bastard on the spot.

But let me explain:

There are currently storm warnings given in Berlin. My girl friend called me, public transport was at a halt for tonight, because of of the bad weather. We agreed to meet in front of a bank inside the Alexanderplatz train station here in Berlin in order to take the subway home together.

I was annoyed by all the fucking people, had a headache and was hungry, because I hadn't eaten in 12+ hours, so naturally I was pissed off even more than usual, but I got there on time.

I was listening to an audio book, walking up and down the isle while waiting, because there was no place to sit down or lean and I disn't feel like standing around.

There was already a security guard standing around stupidly, but I didn't quite notice the fucker until the following happened (translated to English, of course):

GUARD (tapping at my shoulder from behind which I fucking hate to begin with – if you're a man, as you claim to be, start confrontations face to face, you cock-swallowing prick!): "What are you doing here?"

ME (pretty much already visibly pissed off, but trying to stay calm): "I don't know why that would be any of your business, but I'm waiting for my girlfriend."

GUARD (looks at me with a dumb, empty squit): "You don't have a girlfriend"

ME: "Yeah, as if you'd know. But I know you're kind, trying to make trouble, provoking me to get physical, so you can have a little fun at my cost. This isn't going to work." (then, while already turning around carwfully watching the prick): "By the way, there are cameras everywhere, so if you want me to hit you, you're gonna have to throw the first one." (putting my headphones back on, continuing to walk up and down)

GUARD (obstructing): "You better leave now."

ME (absolutely steaming now, yet managing to keep my calm): "No. There is no reason to." (walking aroubd the fucker)

GUARD: "Do you think I'm stupid? I …

ME: (Before he could finish whatever bullshit he was coming up with): "Yes"

GUARD: "I'm gonna get you barred, asshole"

ME: "Yeah, go on, will be hard to find a good reason for that, though." (continuing my walk up and down)

GUARD (leaves, trying to look super determined, conibg back after almost five minutes, alone, of course)

ME (so pissed off about this cubt that I was now actively trying to engage him for fun): "False alarm? Or are you trying this shit often enough, so nobody believes you anymore? What a loser. You should have stayed in school, idiot. You're lucky there are cameras, arsehole" etc.

GUARD (looking nervous now)

My girlfriend appeared about three minutes after that, went in the bank go get money, I told her about the fucktard outside, but he was there, listening to us.

GIRLFRIEND (easily irascible too, but less agressive than me): "Let's write down hos name in front of him, then leave."

But as she was done, he was gone already.

Fucking prick. Hadn't there been any cameras, I'd have enjoed a little tapdance on his fucking face. I fucking hate stuoid people, particularly ones like this fucknut, trying to make his job fun by pissing off random strangers. I hope a fucking tree hit him tonight and smashed his goddamn chest and makes him a fucking cripple. That oughta hurt ebough should he pound it like a stupid gorilla in front of a stranger the next time.

How to check stupid people..(i am one of them)
Ready?
Let's go...
3
2
1....[read more]

My thoughts today:

Don't worry, it's not you.
I simply lack the natural ability to explain it for stupid people.

At job interview.

Interviewer: Have you ever thought about why manhole covers are round?

Me: It's to accommodate different body shapes of sewer workers.

Interviewer: Hahah. It's actually so the covers wouldn't fall in.

Me: It used to be like that, but they changed it.

Interviewer: What? Who changed it?

Me: The lizard people!

Interviewer: What?!

Me: * cowers in corner and hisses *

I got two motivations to improve myself
1. To earn more
2. To distance myself from stupid people who don't know what they are doing

"We don't need iThemes Security. It will just slow WordPress down."

As opposed to the other four dozen plugins of which most are useless, inefficient or not even supported anymore?

You extra-thick pickle ticklers.

How much I hated it when my family members told me that I had a "computer addiction" back then when I still went to school. And "all you do is playing games", when in reality I only started to really play games some years ago - when I didn't need to go to school and wasn't stressed from it anymore.

Today everything my mother does is watching TV the whole day, not listening to anything I tell her (I need to repeat everything at least twice. And I REALLY mean everything.) and when I ask her what it is about what she's watching, she doesn't know.

What was it? -I- was addicted? 🤔

I hate people who not only didn't understand anything about what I did (learning dev things) but also talked bullshit about it like that.

Heard similar things from other devs, too. Seems to be a general problem.

Sysadmin that gets paid 3x what I do: we cannot install fcgi on our servers. Tells customer fcgi will not work on our servers.

Me: installs fcgi on server and configures for nginx. Serves Perl scripts no problem. Takes ~5 minutes. Works fine.

Anyone remembers that guy I ranted about almost a month ago who always wanted changes on his "unfinished" website for years and called multiple times a day when I didn't answer a mail instantly?

I still didn't get at least a "okay, I will work on that" or something after my mail 24 days ago. But I know he got it because since then he stopped his phone terror.

Guess who will never get his finished website because I will never do anything for him again.

There are no stupid questions except for: "Can you help me create an app that's like Facebook but better?"

I always wonder if it "is so easy to do what you do, everyone could do it", why aren't you doing it and make a lot of money with it? 🤔

According to you it's easy and fast made money.

So... What is it with those "HTML programmers", people who claim to be devs or webdesigners and when you ask what languages they know they'll only answer with "HTML"?

What are they even doing the whole day with html only?

Do they ever realize how stupid they sound, claiming to be a dev or most often a "programmer"?

What do their projects look like?
And are they really proud of their html only white pages with all that shiny, beautiful blue and purple links?

I don't get those people.
Had a lot of them back in school.

Manager in 1-1: You tell people they are stupid too often.... Dial it back a bit

Me: They are.

Lecturer :" Never ever create UML diagrams because it is a waste of time. Only people who can't code create these stupid things. Just sit down and start coding. "

Interviewer: Do you have created any android application before?

Dev: I just built an application to increase, farming production to help farmers earn some more money. It's less profitable but makes farmers better.

Interviewer: That's so stupid. Do you know Jeff Bezos?

Dev: yes

Interviewer: we need someone like that level of visionary to make money for our company. Sorry, we don't think you can make apps that makes people do stupid things for fame.

Dev: Do you know Nicola Tesla

Interviewer : yes

Dev: Well he should have pulled the plug long ago.

Why the hell do people call smartphones by Apple "iPhones"?! Whenever people call their phones iPhones I start calling my phone by the model number.

Idiots: Oh no! I've lot my iPhone 7s!
Me: Oh no! I've lost my Oppo A37f pink edition!

See, sounds stupid right? Imagine it in everyday life!

-We're packing for camp! You! Take your North Face N638 grey

-Done!

-You, other guy! You will ride your BMX X Black!

See? It does sound stupid!

TL;DR
If you're saying iPhone, you're a fucking idiot. (it's like saying Googling instead of searching the internet)

I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...

Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!

Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.

Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").

So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:

"Should groceries really do that?"

He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.

!rant

In case somebody remembers the massive React app I had to get familiar with and was asked to find bugs in: Suffice to say I successfully assumed dominance over that huge ass beast.

It's such a fucking great feeling to know you're a really great frontend dev. A bunch of devs – really good ones(!), so I can't blame them at all for not finding then – tried before and couldn't get rid of a bunch of freaky layout bugs and mysterious JavaScript errors, but I did.

That just feels amazing. Truly amazing.

Annoying clients, stupid people and shitty software aside, I FUCKING love my job.

Intelligence and ability cannot be measured by education.

I have a client who asked a Master in Computer Science to develop a small system, for querying product title and their code. The guy used python, vanilla js, and... Txt file for the "database". Then my client asked me to integrated this in... WordPress.

This was in 2016. And idiot as I'm, I agreed and adapted his code to use php and a database.

April this year, my client said they are still using the python system to add new products all this time, in parallel. And wanted to update the WordPress with the data.

- No problem! - I said. Just send me the SQL file.

So the Master in CS sent me a SQL coded in ANSI. I asked for the SQL again, but with a more appropriate encoding. He took 1 month to reply back, and said it would be better if I get rid of the database and just use the txt file for querying.

This is outrageous.

I really hate people who are educated but completely useless.

I fucking hate when a specific client sends me emails about inane shit on the weekend with dubious titles that make it look as if it's a matter of life and death.

It will probably end in the latter, if that fucking dullard doesn't drop that annoying habit pretty fucking quickly.

Post scriptum: I'm stinking, fucking, filthy drunk and I fucking hate stupid people.

No, I can't implement a "pixel-perfect responsive design".

* "So when you had your next surgery, you need to do your school exams as soon as possible!"
- "But I don't even know if I'll be able to walk and sit again after my first correction, since the issue is with something that will most likely be addressed in the second one."
* "Yes but you need to do your exams as soon as possible!"
- "That's not how it works. If I can't do them, I can't do them. Don't force me..."
* "I DON'T TRY TO FORCE YOU"
- "You do. Do you actually hear what you say?"
* "I KNOW EXACTLY WHAT I SAID!"

- I walked away because that would've ended in the usual "NO YOU WERE SCREAMING AT ME!".

And because she can't finally get a fucking hearing aid after all these years of me repeating everything I said at least twice, she probably really believes that she doesn't scream at me at every occasion when she's obviously angry or offended.

I want this whole surgery hell to be over so I can finally get out of this stressful environment.

How much I love these idiots for being dumb fuck idiots.

These are the assholes, who are responsible for ruining this generation and creating the 'Move fast, break things' mindset.

Now every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to be a zillionaire over-fucking-night.

Why? Because the loser has attend a stupid workshop and now thinks that their idea is ground breaking and will change the world.

So they update their LinkedIn with all the stupid buzzwords and expect a cock sucking VC to fund their arse hole with money so they can take over.

FUCK SUCH PEOPLE WHO ARE UNREALISTIC.

There is one thing I have seen here in devRant. No matter how stupid rant you post no one trolls you. People are kind of humble here. They try to help you.
Just an observation, may not be true.

Fuck these "What? Money? No no, I if you do this for me, I will recommend you to a lot of people. Great amount of opportunities for you!" pseudo clients and tell them "If I needed someone to recommend me to get clients, you wouldn't even be able to talk to me in the first place. Now give me money or there is no deal."

Also what the fuck are these guys thinking? All their "friends" have probably the same attitude.

That's a fucking endless circle of work for recommendations without money if you start this shit once.

It's kinda fine if YOU talked to a potential client in the first place to get exposure, but it's NEVER under NO circumstances okay if someone contacted -you- and tries this scammy shit.

Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.

They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.

I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.

-non programmer- friend sees me programming..

"Omg are you hacking?!"

I think it's because of the dark theme.. 🤔😂
.....

How stackoverflow works(for me):

- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.

This is called a true happy ending.

How stupid can people be?
In the last 2 months I needed to explain to someone that their bad TV signal is like that because the cables in the walls are broken or something like that.

I needed to explain 6(!) times that no, if it doesn't work on both, the TV itself (built in receiver) and an external receiver it is NOT the TV that's broken. No, the receiver still is connected via a completely different cable, it DOESN'T WORK LIKE YOU THINK IT DOES. LIKE THE LAST 10 TIMES I NEEDED TO EXPLAIN THIS.

Yes, of course it won't be fixed by you changing the cable between the wall and TV multiple times.

IT - IS - THE - PART - IN - THE - WALL

I hate my life.

FUCK!

This stupid GDR-leftover junk pile of a building is about as sound proof as a piss-soaked house of cards, and I'm trying to fucking focus here, so this goes out to the stupid, high-heeled penny whore upstairs:

Even while wearing those heels that are half your height already, you'd have to slam-dunk your fucking bus fare, and everybody who's ever seen you knows you'd have to suck off even a pigmy on tiptoes, so why the fuck don't you take off your goddamn shoes, bitch?

If I have to listen to that fucking *clack* *clack* *clack* once again, just one more fucking time, I'll visit you, hack off your fucking feet with a rusty old jigsaw and force you too rope jump on a puddle of coarsely ground sea salt at gun point until you fucking bleed to death!

Everybody seems to think they're alone on this fucking garbage ball we call earth.

I FUCKING hate people.

How can people be so fucking stupid?

Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...

It's interesting that noone made a script that constantly changes their avatar background or something on devRant yet.

*gives people stupid ideas*

On call part 3: I'M BACK ON THE CAL FROM YESTERDAY FOR THE LAST 6.5 HOURS AND THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT I TOLD THEM TO DO YESTERDAY. Is it because I'm female? Does having boobs mean I don't know how ssl works and that I can't possibly know about networks? I'm seriously about to just hang up and tell them to deal with it on their own.

Cup is there because it expresses my mood.

I realized how stupid people can be

When you've created a small little program to test out a new language you're learning and you're​ really proud of it 🤗 then show it to your -non programmer- friends and they're like,that's shit wtf is the point in that you're an awful coder...

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! 😫😭

All the fucking stuff you have to do before starting your well-earned vacation.

I you didn't tell everybody what the fuck to do, you'd get called by your dumbest client standing headfirst in a telephone booth with their cock on the loose after just one day, because the instructions on how to do what you normally do were unclear.

Why are most people so fucking stupid? I mean, I'm already a fucking idiot, and I'm still amazed how stupid most people act most of the time.

Yeah. That's why I leave detailed instructions for everybody, lest they hang themselves with their old ass phone cord while trying to call you just to ask whether the bright rectangle should be switched on or off in order for them to read their fucking emails.

But who the fuck am I kidding? Memo to self: don't send instructions per mail.

Story time :
Sometime ago I posted a video on YouTube on how to root a particular phone that was lying around at home. I was trying to demonstrate one of those "one-tap root" apps that were plentiful in the market. It so happened that one specific version of Framaroot and one particular method of exploit works for that device. I even verified this by trying different versions and it didn't work. So in the description it was mentioned to use ONLY this version that worked. Few days later there were atleast 5 dislikes and comments that it didn't work on some other version.
Seriously?
That's how I understood how stupid and dumb people can get.

After working for about 3 years of my life I've established the following;

Work is mostly stupid people praising other stupid people about their stupid work, while clever people remain in the shadows. Will this be true for the rest of my career or am I just working at a company with a bad culture?

I have always thought that I am to dumb to become a dev, but after a few years doing sysadmin shit I have realized that even the most stupid, dumb and idiotic people can be a wordpress developer!

There is still hope for me

It pisses me off, how ratings and 'similar apps' (which mostly aren't fucking similar at all) are put before the actual app details in the Google Playstore.

Google, you lying, betraying, fork-tongued sacks of liquid horse shit: most people don't even know how much you despise them, so why in Sundar Pichais shit-stained and cum-crusted arsehole can't you just put the app details where they belong, so us, the lesser idiots, without having to scroll past all the stupid bullshit, can see which wallpaper app will try to watch us mastubate?

I fucking hate you, Google, and your intentionally manipulatively designed UIs.

I'M FUCKING SICK OF HOLDING MY SELF TO DON'T MAKE OTHERS LOOK LIKE STUPID, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE ,NEXT YEAR IS MY TIME TO STAND AND LET PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM. IF YOU FUCKERS CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT EVEN THOUGHT THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT ISN'T SOFTWARE BUT YOU ARE FUCKING WASTING A GOLDEN RESOURCE ( DEV TEAM ) WITH FUCKING USELESS CRUDS AND USELESS SITES NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT I'M GONNA LEAVE.

Uh, does she hold her phone upside down?

What I've learned after about 10 years in the industry:
1) People are stupid (some even very)
2) Nobody really has an idea what they're doing

Why do not more people get rid of that stupid FB app? Like seriously, free extra hours without charging 🎉

All those fucking non-programmers in my university should fuck off!! Just because am studying computer science and am in 2nd year doesn't mean i have to be like Mark and build Fucking facebook!!
Mark started in his 2nd year...bla bla fuck you!! You wanna make facebook go learn how to code yourself worthless piece of shit.
So much talent is discouraged even before it buds because of these stupid expectations!!

Falcon Heavy launch coming up!
I can't wait. That's something people should watch, fuck the superbowl!
I would say it's 60% as significant as the moon landing was, if not more; a field of technology we should really focus on, but governments rather spend money on stupid war
Make sure to tune in tomorrow, 18:30 / 06:30pm UTC, on SpaceX's YouTube channel
It's going to be spectacular, success or failure

You know some users just really are stupid when there are people who post about things like an Outlook issue in the -Sony- forums.

STUPID INCOMPETENT DUMB FUCK MOTHERFUCKING CUSTOMERS!!!!

NO MATTER HOW USER FRIENDLY THE USER INTERFACE IS DESIGNED, YOU'RE STILL INCOMPETENT TO USE IT.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES

FUUUUUUCCCCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.

I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"

You know why I post such screenshot demeaning companies with respect to their application or service or functionality?

Because, as a tester, it pisses me off how these assholes undermine us, our ability and our work towards building a better product.

Fuck such people who think testing is stupid in software world and isn't important at all.

#TesterLivesMatters

#PostedOneDayAgo, #Applied48YearsAgo

As somebody who appreciates the Apple ecosystem, I have to say I wanted to slap people so hard their grandchildren would feel it when you get these guys with iPhone 6s that were talking about how they’d buy the new iPhone x (before we knew it was called that) the day it came out regardless of what it was. Fucks sake, they have a phone that they paid 800 bucks for less than two years ago. Upgrade? You can’t be serious. Plus they didn’t even know what it was or whether it existed yet. Stupid.

Near the end of a massive (1,000 user bridgeline) conference call today:

[ P = presenter, RCn = random caller n ]

P: ...so, does anyone have any other questions they'd like to---

RC1: Hey! Yeah, I'm still on this STUPID call right now... I dunno, we've been in here for like 30 minutes already - The guy came by the house to talk about it, but I couldn't get off this STUPID call - I think they said it would be around 800 dollars...

[ P, RC1, RC2, RC3, RC4 all overlapping ]

P: Um, we can hear you-

RC2: Dude, mute your phone!

RC3: As the presenter, you can mute that guy from the web UI-

P: Yeah, I can't find him in the attendee list; it's so long-

RC3: -Right-click on his name and select "mute line"-

P: I know how, but I can't find him on the list.

RC3: Find him on the attendance list on the right side-

P: [ louder and louder ] Yes, I know - but I can't find him in the list-

RC4: Should someone call an operator?

RC1: -so I figured we'll probably need to call Jerry and see what he says. I'll call him if I can ever get off this ridiculous, STUPID call - They are all talking at once on there now and no one can understand anything!

[ This went on for about 5 solid minutes, finally ending with... ]

RC1: I'm just going to drop this STUPID call and call Jerry for us. This thing was a total waste of time. [ boop-beep ]

[ long pause ]

P: OK, so now that is over, does anyone have any questions they'd like to discuss?

[ At least 10 people un-mute and overlap questions ]

#ConferenceCallProblems

Above everything else, the funniest part to me was his repeated, over-the-top insistence on how "STUPID" the call was.

#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel

Why Whatsapp... Whyyy?? Life was so simple with you!! No stupid duck faces, no selfies, no freaking location updates of people I dont care about... Why did you have to go snapchat on us!

DevRant is the best. I just gave Imgur another try. It still makes me depressed and loose faith in humanity. All those stupid people. DevRant is much better. Here we have smart people that know how to approach problems and understand jokes.

Motherfucking Microsoft piece of shit. Next time I hear someone talk anything other than trash about Windows 10 I'm gonna bash his head in. Over one week of rendering gone because the Microsoft motherfuckers decided that they can restart whenever they want. Installing wanna cry is less destructive than this virus sold as an operating system. People liking this Win10 shit must be really REALLY fucking stupid. Fuck you

Just noticed how much I hate standards that only got popular because some people were to stupid to understand how it works. And now people don't even learn what it does anymore because other stupid people now believe it's "bad practice" because it's easily used wrong by new people.

Although many of them are actually things that make more sense for a lot of things.

Right, to all the drivers here, let's put some truths out there.

1) There are two sides to the road for a reason. It's to stop head on crashes. If you don't understand this, then you have no business being in a car, got it?

2) Cyclists are slow. Yes, it's annoying, yes you can be stuck behind them for a while, but if you're on a blind bend, DON'T FUCKING OVERTAKE THEM YOU MORONS!!! SERIOUSLY, DON’T!!! WAIT TILL YOU CAN SEE THAT IT’S CLEAR, DON’T JUST PULL OUT AND BE ON MY SIDE OF THE FUCKING ROAD DOING 50MPH ON A BLIND FUCKING BEND YOU UTTER SELFISH, DANGEROUS PILES OF STEAMING TURED!!!!!

3) Pot Holes. Theses appear on both sides of the road. If you see one on your side of the road, look ahead and CHECK IF THE OTHER SIDE IS CLEAR BEFORE YOU PULL OUT!!! I DON’T APPRECIATE HAVING TO DRIVE INTO A FUCKING DITCH TO AVOID YOU JUST BECAUSE YOU DON’T WANT TO SCUFF THE TYRES ON YOUR OVERPRICED HIRE PURCHASE AUDI, OK??? MY TYRES ARE NEW, AND I’D RATHER NOT TAKE CHUNKS OUT OF THEM, BUT IN A CHOICE BETWEEN SCUFF THE TYRES IN A POT HOLE OR HAVE A HEAD ON CRASH, I’D RATHER SCUFF THE TYRES!!!!!!

4) On the subject of pot holes and referring to point 2, cyclists swerve to avoid pot holes. If they hit a pot hole, they could completely bail and end up dead. So, refer to point 2 and DON’T OVERTAKE THE CYCLIST UNLESS YOU KNOW FOR FUCKING CERTAIN THAT THERE IS ENOUGH SPACE TO CLEAR THEM - HOW BRAIN DEAD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO PASS A CYCLIST WHEN THERE’S NO SPACE TO DO SO?

5) There is a stick to the side of your steering wheel. It’s called an indicator. This is an amazing invention that lets other people know your thoughts. Thinking of turning? THEN USE THE FUCKING INDICATOR, DON’T JUST SWERVE ACROSS THE CARRIAGEWAY WITHOUT WARNING - YES, MY BRAKES WORK, BUT THAT DOENS’T MEAN I WANT TO FUCKING TEST THEM ONCE EVERY HALF MILE!!!!!

6) If you are driving a tiny little shitty hatchback and you can’t stay on your side of the road on a bend, then you’re going too fast so slow the fuck down. You aren’t Colin McRae, or Mikka Hakkinen, you’re a moron. SLOW THE FUCK DOWN!!!!!! DOING 60 ON COUNTRY ROADS IN A FUCKING CORSA IS A RETARDED THING TO DO ANYWAY, BUT IF YOU’RE SINGING ALONG TO SOOME STUPID TUNE AND NOT PAYING ATTENTION, YOU WILL CRASH!!! DON’T MAKE OTHER PEOPLE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOUR OWN LIFE, YOU DERELICT!!!

7) Fog lights. The clue is in the fucking name!!!! They aren’t drizzle lights, or rain lights, or wind lights, they are FOG LIGHTS!!!! THEY ARE BRIGHT, NOT DIPPED, AND THEY BLIND EVERY OTHER DRIVER WHO GOES PAST. TURN THEM OFF UNLESS IT IS FOGGY YOU INCONSIDERATE WANKERS!!!!

8) If you are living in the UK, and passed your driving test here, you have NO FUCKING EXCUSE for not driving properly. The UK driving test is one of the most comprehensive in Europe (probably with the exception of the Scandinavian countries), so how people end up doing the moronic things I’ve seen today I will never understand. Just don’t drive like a tosser, it’s really fucking easy!!!!!

Right, now that’s done, time for lunch and to see if I can get over the fear of today’s 20 mile hell journey!

Does anyone else ever feel like they're too stupid to be a good programmer? Like some of the people here are very very intelligent. Meanwhile, I'm over here making a fucking 8% on a calculus exam. I just feel like I'm way too stupid to actually be good at this.

!dev

Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.

For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.

while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

This sort of shit really pisses me off, yes PC has a higher market share, but I had to comment. Mobile gaming dwarfs PC so should we even bother with PC?

And people are agreeing with his point, it's fucking stupid, people should be able to enjoy something no matter what platform, linux, Mac, windows or anything else...

Fuck heads...

The names in the story have been changed to protect not the innocent but the very very stupid. So I set up test accounts for each team member in the new test environment for our project building the new web interface for our SaaS product. Each username had an underscore in it like john_smith. I told everyone the news in the morning scrum and got 2 requests for help an hour later from people saying they could not log in with their username johnunderscoresmith.

Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.

Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.

2 months go by, project is completed.

Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!

1 month later...

PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.

2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.

Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.

I hate it when statisticians find correlation between two things and then act like it’s the cause. Seriously, most people are stupid and won’t be able to tell reading your stupid fucking article. How goddamn irresponsible is the media now... and how fucking stupid can you be and still get a masters degree?

Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.

STARTUP IDEA GUYS SUCKS!!!!

So today one of my friend asked me to do an app for him and finally share 50 percent of the profit that I get. His idea is to build an app that can measure air pollution level, water pollution level, soil fertility range. I was like "what the hell!"... The beauty is that he wants me to pay him 50 percent for giving such (stupid, retarded) idea.

Wondering when these "startup idea guys" will realize that ideas are cheap but execution is worth the millions! Fed-up with such stupid people.

I just read the rant: "I use base64 to encrypt my passwords". Found it hilarious!

But I can't believe the amount of people taking it seriously in the comments section! I see just one of these possible explanations.

A) They want to show off
B) They are unable to detect sarcasm
C) They have mastered trolling and I'm stupid

In case it's C, wouldn't this rant be considered as reverse trolling? 😎

Everytime someone launches a VR headset, people are talking about being able to watch movies in their "personal theater" and I'm here hoping there will be a desktop mirroring or something like a vnc client compatible with the headset so that I can have *infinite* monitors and code more efficiently. I might look stupid swiveling on a chair wearing a headset but hey.. I'll enjoy it!

Imagine.. 32 monitors, a nice piece of noise-cancelling headphones, a swivel chair with keyboard attached ergonomically, backrest bent to near 40degrees..

Whenever I ask google a stupid question, I do it from a shell so people still think I'm smart.

A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.

True Story: Stupid Ass recruitment people

I have had some HR people, who dont know how to Google/research or don't feel like asking the technical people for what they need and instead rely on hot buzz words that are circulating in the industry.
A couple of new positions opened up in our team.
We needed people with jQuery skills.
The recruitment people went on with the Job description stating they need UI/UX engineers. On top of that, they asked for 3+ years of experience for AngularJS (some moron thought if we are hiring JavaScript resource lets have someone with skills for future technologies, just in case). The thing is Angular wasn't out for 3 years back then. How could some one have 3 years of experience in a technology that is barely mde it to mainstream. Moreover, all we wanted was a guy who know JS and jQuery, not AngularJS, and not UI/UX.
Consequently, we couldn't find people in time, the project was delayed and I (and one other person) had excessive work load

"JavaScript is Java."

-lots of dumb programmer... If you can call them programmers

I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time

I know many shitheads who are concerned about privacy and all show off with #DeleteFacebook trend without knowing the details.

But the same people aren't hesitant to share their information offline with a complete stranger while filling up forms at any event, bank, saloon or mall for follow up spam e-mails, telephone calls and messages.

Sometimes people are the problem and not these corporations.

We are surrounded by stupid fucktards and morons.

Be prepared, alert and aware of the surroundings because future is full of retards.

Senior JS Dev where I'm contracting can't understand why null != "null"

Forgot my headphones today, had to listen to stupid people on the train and now can't concentrate while writing code! Fuck!

Why management people thinks that a career path for any senior developer is to be a "leader" and be good in business side. Its like saying "hey you are a good programmer, let me take away that work you love to do and do stupid human resource management instead"

Windows is open sourcing their tools slowly to attract more people. Its like trying to do all those stupid stuff to get your girl.
you just never get her.
#loner_life #windows

Biggest GTFO moment of the year;

While applying for colleges, I created an account with a username and variant of my usual password (I know, bad move, sorry). I came back to finish the application but had forgotten what variant I had used. So I clicked the forgot password button and got an email with...

MY PASSWORD IN IT!!!!

Plain text password! Just as part of the email! WTF do these people think they are doing?!?!

I immediately changed my password to a random string and deleted my account, so hopefully when someone gets into this database my stuff with be overwritten... stupid programmers...

this just happened 10 seconds ago...
My mother wanted to upload a Picture to an stupid online forum... she already had a screenshot... so i told her to open "Imgur.org" she opened it and i showed her how to upload a Picture, we then uploaded that picture and posted the link on that forum... we then opened the link... and she was like: "OMG! Other people can now do shit with my PC!!"
which i replied to: Its a Picture...
She again was like: BUT LOOK!
I again its a Picture, they cant do anything...
I got mad and walked out...

Rant:
Why in the freezing cold all people think that linux = secure. Ransomware... Bla bla not happening on linux bla bla... Linux is secure.

If Linux would have been the most popular one people will pretty much run everything on root and install every stupid package available and never run: apt-get update.

Users were so dumb they got scammed by a phising mail... In freaking 2017... This is user stupidity not OS fault...

God its stupidly annoying seeing the same stuff : Linux secure...
Everything can be secure if you paid attention to the same stuff in freaking 2000.

xroad's rule for downvoting:

If you just reposted something in the span of a few hours or less I will downvote it.

If your rant starts with "there are 10 kinds of people in the world" my thumb will hit the -- button faster than an intern will ask a stupid question.

I fucking hate fucking stupid fucking people

I'm working on a stupid simple thing that allows you to find out deep secrets about your friends without embarassing yourself, and vice versa.

Two people get a check box list, here's an example

O Furry
O BDSM
O DDLG
X Vore

---

X Furry
O BDSM
O DDLG
X Vore

And once both of you have filled it out it will only tell you what you have in common.

It's nothing revolutionary, just me learning how to use Rust and SQL (Along with web frameworks and ORM stuff).

Thoughts? Should be out for a demo soon, once localtunnel is back.

Ok thats enaugh.
Some people are still so fucking stupid to ask the same question on XDA and on my thread 15 fucking times.
When you will release it ??
Just wait.
2 days later.
When will you release it ??
Waiiiitttt.
And so on.
Until i got to this point.
I fucking swear if i see some stupid question on my fucking thread that has been answered and the user just cant search then he will get very rude response.
This needs to be done since my thread isnt the only one with those idiotic questions: when will it be done, how to root it (Literally in the main post is the answer).
Lot of devs on XDA agree.
I understand that they are new to it but for ffs search !!!!!!

Fuck you sideways stupid ass clowns of HR people.

If you don't want to hire me, it's okay. What is not okay it's to steal several days of my life with your idiotic multi-step interviews, telling me I did awesome and you'd like to hire me as soon as possible, then actively avoid any contact for three whole fucking weeks, just to finally tell me you've chosen someone else with a more prestigious degree but way less actual experience in the field. You'll come to me begging soon and I'll laugh in your faces.

It's the 21st century. We have this amazing thing called the Internet. It's literally at our finger tips. Any information you want can be found with the tap of a phone screen, and the information will be presented to you in less than a second.

Why is this concept so fucking hard for people to comprehend? Instead of asking me "How do I write a resignation letter?", search the damn internet for resignation letter guides. Like Jesus Christ, it's not that hard of a concept to comprehend. Especially when you've basically grown up with the internet in our lives.

Ouuuuuu yessss i like when people hate linux and then they see how awesome it is and they realized that they were wrong and now they hate themselfs.
Happened to my classmate he always told me that GNU/Linux is stupid which i hated him for since i love linux and well now he needed to use linux in school and boooom he started to love it cause it was so simple with gnome.

My documents finally arrived at uni. 3 days past due date and it took 15 days instead of the promised 4.

Now, right after the arrival, the post sent out an automated email saying "we investigated it and it has now arrived!"

... And I'm looking for all the words to beat the living shit out of these morons right now. I am so angry I could just grab a nailed bat, go to every post office and trash all their computers and scanners (which are expensive afaik) and... Thinking of which, good thing that I have a special set of skills and I'll be out of the country soon enough 😏😏😏

... Eh, it's a waste of time and skills tho. I shouldn't even waste a second thinking about these incompetent poopy-brains. 😑

This is stupid.
Facebook introduces a way of "wasting" your time, but it's up to people whether they will embrace it or not. It all comes down to the consumers. We aren't forced to use it.
Who chose to spend 10 minutes on Facebook per day shouldn't be butthurt that he wasted those 10 minutes that could've been used in a more productive way.

Ignoring stupid people.

Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*

*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭

*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*

Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .

*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide​ but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*

Stupid people needs to die, so we won't have to provide IE support anymore.

You never lose you just want to lose.
Atleast thats how its with me.
it doesnt matter how big problem do i have in Project there is always some damn solution.
And another one i learned that is never ever ever listen to other people they are probably stupid cause good dev will never tell you what mistake do you have cause he know you need to learn it yourself that is only way to understand it perfectly.

Don't get mad / frustrated / angry at stupid people, you're just punishing yourself for their stupidity

Many people know Kaiser Chiefs song Ruby
So yesterday my uncle sang that song this way:
Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby,
Java Java Java Java
Python Python Python Python
...
That is freaking stupid, it made my day, though)
Besides, that 3 are my fav langs)

Fucking STOP with the webpage popups! All I want to do is read the fucking page, except I need to restart 5 times because shit pops up in every side and shoves the content over. I loaded a site and it loaded shit on every side (and an ad because they were smart enough to host their own ads so they don't get filtered) so it was unreadable for 5 seconds, and then a stupid ass cookies warning 5 seconds later for good measure. This needs to stop, it only makes people like me leave your site for good. Stop.

Im so fucking disgusted with the paternalistic superiority complex so many techbros have.

They see themselves as the new elite priestly class, protectors of the Sacred Tech, convinced everyone else is too stupid to handle themselves.

The answer to stupidity is not to keep people in the dark, enforcing only more stupidity. What a dismal worldview. Treat other humans with respect and dignity and they will surprise you.

ummm okay?

Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.

Working on an IT Helpdesk would be so much easier if it wasn't for all the stupid people who call us!

A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.

I don't like peoples who force a windows users switch to Linux. It's their FUCKING CHOICE. Let them whatever they like to use it. Forcing people to use something is JUST STUPID and I see them as MORONS.

You are the reason behind not taking self decision making.

FUCK YOU MORONS. FUCK YOU

STRONG OPINIONS.

Don’t you hate it when people completly overcomplicates code?

The bottom one is my edit of the code.

Worst part is being asked to do stupid things (hack, give people followers, give free money)

The biggest lesson I learned in Frontend Dev is: listen to users, not clients.

There are so many rants about stupid ass clients on here, and when you let clients treat you like that, it's kind of your own fault. Look at how people use your interfaces and you will immediately see what's bullshit about them. When you have user behavior as an argument basis, clients will listen to you.

Woo! 1000++!

This is such an amazing community, with a lot of great people!

I keep finding myself coming here when I'm stuck on something, just to pass the time and think a bit, and it's honestly very entertaining and interesting seeing all the different ways people can swear about how stupid their co-worker(s) are.

Deleted all my old, stupid, no-good-for-community rants because I don't want people to see what an asshole I was when I installed the app

Suck my sweatty balls you cock sucking, brain washed ignorant flat earth mother fuckers. If only evolution was more aggressive, we'd have gotten rid of you in the stome age. But hey you can still choke your crap filled mouths on fucking tide pods you stupid cunts.

If only people would stop bashing technologies just because their news say so.

Seriously every forum I visit, there's always some post saying "fuck technology x, it's ..."

Poor me, a dev, sometimes fails to ignore idiots and replies to such posts. "But it's not anonymous, the government said.."
"it is against god's will, our *insert religious figure here* said..."

Fuck your cock sucking governments!!
It's just like every fucking innovation ever. First religion: I'm not against religion at all, if it's something that brings a person peace of mind... but please keep away from interfering with scientific progress. After all if you're so sure about what you're believing in, there's nothing you should be afraid that science would reveal, no?

Then governments: government? Manipulating people? Feeding brains shit? pfftt when does that happen?
Fuck every cock sucking government.. except you know, tbe good ones I guess :p

If people listened to those ignorant cunts back in the days, we'd still believe we're the center of this whole fucking universe, and that a whale ate the moon every now and then...

And then you find out ignorance is infectious. Ignorants start spreading ignorance, and if enough ignorants believe some shit... the shit becomes the truth.

Can you please fucking read about the thing you're about to ignorantly bash before doing so?

Can you stop listening to news and governments about this crap? If anything it's in your govs best interest to keep you afraid of progress.

I'm literally just talking for the sake of it, It's what rants are for no?

Idk I should probably just ignore idiots on the internet... but there's a limit to how much ignorance and stupidity you can take.

At least we'll never run out of restaurant employees I guess

When I request that a client sends me the images they would like on their website. I do not expect 25 Emails each with one fucking image.

A schoolmate asked @pavolhalas, if he can write html code on a sheet of paper.

Today I showed and told some of devRant's rants to one of my housemates (I have 2 and they're both non devs) and he said "People can't be that stupid". Oh boy are you wrong

Social media has made so many fucking stupid people famous, I don't see any advantages of all these platforms!
And while writing here this, I am also being somewhat hypocrite!

"Likes","retweets", ++", fucking kerma...all are creating much of the fucking trouble already!

(Excluding /r/aww)

Bureaucracy is the biggest impediment to progress.

Instead of putting a brick wall in front of you by saying "The PO said that you created a bug", learn how to communicate and have a horizontal hierarchy, for fuck's sake.
Even if all my tests passed, they still throw other bugs in my face and call it my fault. Fantastic. I love Scrum. This is not Scrum, this is abusing and not respecting Scrum.

Stupid rules, stupid people.

Client: "I cant logging me in"
Me: "Ok do you know your username? "
Client: "yes, off course"
Me:"ok, which password do you use?"
client: "I looked to my colleague... 5 stars"
Me: 🤐😣😯😭😭

working in IT support sometimes makes me wonder if people are really that stupid or they try to test me if i am really stupid.

Height of stupidity.

It took that person 16 sets of new batteries to conclude that the remote is defective.

In my software development class today, the teacher asked us what a double equal sign means, and I swear to god, a student said “it double equals that value” 🤦‍♂️

Now I have to wear a stupid shirt, go to my stupid office and tolerate stupid people.

*Ciiiirrrrcle of lifeeeeeee

My biggest obstacle? Stupidity, laziness, willfull ignorance, procrastination.

Sometimes my teammates are the ones guilty of these things too. That, and impossible timetables, but that's par for the course for pretty much all of us.

I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.

*Warning angry rant
Unreal Engine, NVIDIA Waveworks and windows... Go fuck yoursleves. I have had enough. I have project at uni which involves me to create a realistic ocean simulator with bauyancy etc. And all I've fucking had with preice of crap software is hell.

First of all to use waveworks u need to compile the mother fucking unreal engine from scratch. Which takes some crazy whichcraft cause somehow it took me and 4 other people 4 weeks to work that out without running into a stupid error.

After all that now somehow the folder in which the editor has all its binaries is corrupted.

WHY. WHY DOES THiS HAVE TO HAPPEN!!!

Rewrote to be shorter:

I’m always shocked when I wake up and the headline news on my phone is that a bunch of controlled tests got a ton of weapons through TSA. And this is public news on the front page of the goddamn paper WHY exactly? Are people fucking stupid? I’m starting to think the average IQ of humans is like 8. Maybe 8 and a half. This is like the fourth time in the last decade that they have written this on the front page of the paper. Why do they want people to know TSA doesn’t work THAT badly? I just don’t understand how anybody’s intellect could be that numb.

people always complain about semicolons but I don't think I've ever had a semicolon issue cuz of ide's. but I'm plagued by tons of other stupid mistakes, like forgetting to initialize my ArrayList<>'s in java from null to empty..

It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!

Oh my fucking god people are stupid, or ignorant, or fucking both.

How hard is it to copy a password from an email and paste that fucker in and press login.
Seriously several times of “this is your email” and “THIS” is your god dam fucking password.
God kill me now.

(No the password isn’t stored in plaintext, I reset it myself before sending it to the user)

I've just added the possibility to connect to an external game server to my app and immediately regret it. People started sending me emails saying that it doesn't work. What they entered in the URL bar? "hi", "cunt" and a porn website...

Many people / engineers around me talk about trendy stuff like Cybersecurity or AI and show off what great encryption and neuronal networks they 'have built' ( I would rather say 'using').

I kinda get the feeling of 'Everbody talks about it - no one really knows what's goin' on inside (especially those guys who hate math and even algorithms).'

Am I just stupid or does somebody else here feel the same way? I mean people have been doing serious research about this stuff for years. And currently many kids are coming up with it as if it is easy stuff like the bubble sort.

Why can't people be more objective on demands?

These people can't fucking grasp the concept of "ask for something" NOOO they have to fucking make an endless black hole stupid speech to tell you to "do x"!!!!

FUCK YOU WHO DO THAT!!
YOU HAVE AN ASSHOLE WHERE SHOULD BE YOUR MOUTH!

I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.

Team manager (idiot exhibit A) is talking about recruitment and how bad some people who apply are.
Sitting through many many interviews and tests, I know how stupid this kind of questions can get. So, I randomly mentioned that if everyone is doing so bad, then his test might be questionable.
He then takes turn to praise his criteria and tell me "you haven't seen the tests, so you wouldn't know".
😑😐😒
Really? REALLY? I might be a junior in engineering, but I'm an expert in bullshit detection.
P.S. Moron doesn't know I'm already sitting through interviews again with other companies.

Why are some people just so dumb? Not specifically with programming or development but just in general. How have we not reached a point where everybody has a substantial understanding of common sense and ethics?

" What's the big deal ?
It's just an if condition right ? " - Every manager / product owner ever.

And all the devs be like #facepalm !

!rant (well, sort of)

In case you're not interested in liguistics or don't care much about our overwhelmingly stupid jargon as developers, feel free to switch to the next rant.

However, just realized again how stupid many terms used in IT actually are, the dumbest ones, in my opinion, being frontend and backend.

No wonder there is no uniform spelling for both of these terms (I'll use the ones without dashes here, by the way), because they are both by definition nonsense.

Since I've got a background in literary studies and linguistics, please don't mind me throwing rhetorical and linguistical terms at you, but `backend` is a pleonasm (which is a form of tautology), meaning that it describes a term with a superfluous word. `back` and `end` mean largely the same thing, a backend developer works on the back (or the backbone, if you prefer) of an application, so why the extra word? Probably mainly because back developer sounds dumber than the term backend is.

`Frontend` is almost as stupid as it's supposed counterpart; and an oxymoron, since what's in the front (or beginning or start) can't possibly be in the back (or end) at the same time, unless they are the same, in which case mentioning either is superfluous.

I think thus is fascinating, because programming jargon is a kind of sociolect (a variety of language spoken by a particukar group of people) and I often notice particular manners of speaking (mostly when they are somehow faulty) that are used or taken over by others without questioing them, despite being obviously wrong. For example, people who actually use 'based off of' something, which is per definitionem wrong, since if something off something, it's not based on it any more at all.

If you're like me, what matters of speech, jargon or terms in CS or IT do you perceive as particularly annoying or stupid, because tgey are simply wrong or sound wrong to you?

Mobile phones are from hell >:[ Well, at least my gf's Samsung is from hell. It makes noise for anything. If someone calls, play a stupid melody. If there is a text, play a stupid melody. If its battery needs to be charged, play a stupid melody. If its battery is fully charged, play a stupid melody. Even if it's in the middle of the night and people just maybe would like to get a few minutes of sleep! What's next? Play a stupid melody when the stupid Samsung Android piece of junk wants its diaper changed? Or when it's bored? Or just needs attention? Or when it realises that the word "smart" in smart phones actually means stupid? SHUT UP!!! We don't need a tamagotchi, we already have two kids and two cats to fullfill our tamagotchying needs! Technology is supposed to make life easier, not worse FFS! No wonder so many people get stressed out these days! And you, pathetic people at Samsung, or whoever that come up with these "smart" features that deprave decent people of their sleep, now it's your turn to be woken up! WAKE UP IDIOTS! Get outside your small mobile-bound shitholes of confined fart-filled bubbles! Learn about REAL LIFE, get yourselves nagging gfs, screaming kids and a PUNCH IN YOUR FACES! Maybe that will teach you to manufacture phones that SHUT THE FUCK UP during sleeping hours!

I took 2 days off...
Scope doubled...

I'm surrounded by idiots.

family member/friend/someone: hey can you-

me: no

them: why not?

me: windows is updating, sorry

I just can't believe how unbelievably and incredibly stupid people can be. Why is it illegal to punch people in the face after they said something stupid? Why?

[on git] "how can I use the remote to see what's on my local computer? How do I know if someone else has cloned so I don't edit their files?"

By itself, not terribly stupid... Git can be complicated... But this is coming from people who are supposed to be familiar with basic CM, but aren't.

Here I am just tryna browse a site and this stupid attempt to trick me into falling for a scam pops up. There is no way to stop the pop up because I can’t tap anything fast enough. Not even restarting the browser because it remembers this as the last URL it had accessed. Looks like I have to uninstall and reinstall chrome. Honestly, if you’re a scammer, what the hell is the point of doing this? What idiot is going to call the number? All it does is annoy you to the point of suspicion. Or maybe there are people stupid enough!?

Is anybody else getting sick of the fact that photobucket broke half of the pictures on the internet? Sure it costs money to provide that hosting but people would have never used it in the first place if it hadn’t been free. That’s stupid.

Im learning Advanced Computing in a institute. Prior to that I have done many projects with Unity 3D, MEAN and C#. But guy who is teaching is very rude every time to the class. 'you people are stupid' 'you cant do anything on your own' 'that's why your here'. And Im self tought programer so Im getting really angry at such comments. How to deal with this?? 😥😫

I was finishing compiling the linux kernel in tty mode for a school project in the subway cuz the class was over and it was not finished. A guy came to me and said : I used to do that, but on a Mac. Then he left. I was like : wtf do you think I'm doing? You don't compile the linux kernel on a fucking Mac. And why would you mention it was a Mac anyway?I guess he just did ls -al on his Mac in tty.

YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!

If anyone read my last rant, I talked about how I wanted to buy a new phone with a subscription line, but they didn't allow me because "the system says you already have one and you're over due with the payments"

FUCKING MORONS, I don't know who coded the system but I will find you and bury your head in your own shit!

They use people's RFC (Mexican Tax ID number) to create an "account" and allow buying a phone. The ID it's composed by:

NNNNYYMMDDXXX

Where N are letters from our name, then they use our birthdate's year, month and day, finally they generate three unique characters to avoid ID clashes.

Well, this stupid fucker who coded the system thought it was OKAY TO STORE ALL BUT THE CHARACTERS THAT MAKE THE ID UNIQUE.

Fucking fucker...what were you thinking?

Why is the internet such a toxic place... You voice your personal opinion and instantly have people who believe they are 'better' than you call you a stupid consumer because they use something that others may not care for.

Fuck me people, why can't we just have opinions and respect each other, it's not that fucking hard!

To people who know a part of their software is shit, and are always like,
" there's no need to fix it, if it's working"

FUCK YOU!

And what makes you even worse? Not commenting that shit!! Seriously how can you live with your useless selves if you don't comment your stupid code?! How do you even understand what you wrote a while later? You sure aren't a super computer... at least looking at your SHIT CODE!

I spent all of last week reading through code written by dinosaurs, just because our Android app was crashing due to stone age old code that was written by a moron who doesn't understand that you SIMPLY DON'T FUCKING DO NETWORK CALLS ON THE FUCKING MAIN THREAD. And that being said... how about doing a bunch of them in a while loop?! Are you fucking retarded?!

Also it would be nice if you commented your stupid code from time to time. We all do stupid things, but if someone gets slapped in the fucking face with your old shit and decided to be kind enough to fix?! Is he supposed to ask the devil for explanation?!

I had to read every fucking line, just to make sure I didn't delete something crucial. And guess what, it was such an important part of the app, written 12 months ago, by people who don't exist at our company anymore, and hopefully from the world, that took care of one of our most important core features.

It all turned out to be replaceable by one method, instead of using like 6 files to do what turned out to be a simple stupid fucking file upload! But if you only commented what that shit does, and didn't use method names like addAlarm() and startSupport() I would've known that it FUCKING uploadsAFuckingFile()

So stupid to have my stuff ruined by code written so badly. I had closed the ticket, and was heading home when suddenly everything crashed just cause of people slacking like this ... and looking at the stacktrace to see a class name that's unheard of by the whole team... speechless

Seriously people like this should be liquified :@

!!showerthought

People who dox are stupid because they do whatever they do

People who get doxxed are stupid because they didn't take care of their privacy on the internet

People who go to doxxed people's homes are stupid because it's illegal to break in and they blindly believe the doxxers

If only this button could make this shitty work week end & launch me in to paradise. I've had it up to here with PMs, clients, sales and stupid people. Any one else? 😖🙋🏼👋🏼

So -- because there are such awesome people on here, i.e. @plusgut I now know that classList method does not work on <= IE9.....I tested IE9 using browserling.com and my code is working when it shouldn't which tells me browserling.com is bullshits!!! ugh...

Guess I am waiting for the official Microsoft VM for IE9 to finish downloading.....stupid slow internet.....

I've just realized that a game with over 1 million downloads (the ranking list is over 2 million people) has its solutions saved in the preference's file. So anyone with a rooted phone can access this file. This make me so fucking crazy: you make a stupid shitty game and get over 2 million users and don't even bother to make it good.
Now I have to decide whether to write to the developer to inform him that this is a stupid way to store the solutions or to make an app to let everyone know the solutions.

I think God is a developer. I have to say a most impressive feat, even for God, is the idiot algorithm. It has persisted through millennia of attempts to remove it, but it just keeps refining itself. While it's incredibly brief, its functions are yet to find an environment in which they cannot operate. It's full adaptable to any task, impressively modular, and self replicating.

No matter how what problem you present it with the idiot algorithm can always find a solution. It never leaves well enough alone. It can even give you an answer before everything is fully processed!

Ok I have been incredibly offended. So a classmate asked if I wanted to be a computer repairman when I grew up I yelled hell no and shes like but what will you do then with that useless knowledge? I just looked at her. But wait, there's more. My teacher took me to the principal for having my terminal open in linux. I then got yelled at for "hacking" and it took me forever to try and explain I wasn't but they didnt believe me. So I got yelled at for half an hour before school ended.

I hate developing for iOS. So many certificates here and there for simple things. And to top it all off, sometimes, you get people reviewing your app that say you can't upload to the App Store for stupid reasons. Does anyone feel the same way?