*Builds a web component for a client website*

CLIENT: I don't like it, can I have it a tiny bit over to the right more

ME: Taps the arrow key a few times making it look like I'm doing something.(Which actually does nothing)

Client: 👌Perfect

😂😂😂 Wut 😂😂😂

Love working with atom using this theme in coffeeshops, making people think I'm a top hacker, when in reality I'm just stuck with css classes or something. Equally stupid.

Favourite Programming Quote - Whats yours?

"A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things." - Bill Bryson

"Are you running android?"
"No Samsung"
"So your OS is android"
"No Samsung"

Me: my computer is dead, are you using the iMac?

Sister: your computer is dead because of the coding! Even my friend agrees that coding causes viruses

"serverless" is a stupid name. There's always a server, just not yours. It's just as dumb as people thinking "cloud" means there's no computer. There's always a computer, just not yours.

All this stupid people working. I got a 8 Million $ Check from a south african prince. All i need to do is pay 3000$ for the paperwork. Im out you idiots.

Whenever I come across some acronyms...

CD-ROM: Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
PCMCIA: People Can’t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN: It Still Does Nothing
SCSI: System Can’t See It
MIPS: Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
DOS: Defunct Operating System
WINDOWS: Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
OS/2: Obsolete Soon, Too
PnP: Plug and Pray
APPLE: Arrogance Produces Profit-Losing Entity
IBM: I Blame Microsoft
MICROSOFT: Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
COBOL: Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
LISP: Lots of Insipid and Stupid Parentheses
MACINTOSH: Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs

These "math question" captchas are really stupid.
It's not even an image that has to be OCR-ed, it's just plaintext. Why can't these people understand a captcha is supposed to be something only a person can do? This is math. Computers are amazing at math.

** The most hilarious authentication implementation I've ever seen **

They stored password in cleartext, but never mind, this is sadly quite common.
For some reasons credentials were also case insensitive (maybe to avoid silly tickets from CAPS LOCK lovers?).

Then I had a look to the query executed during the login:
SELECT * FROM users WHERE username LIKE ? AND password LIKE ?;

So I tried logging in with user "admin" and password "%"... and it worked!
I laughed all the day.

"So you're a coder?"
"Yeah"
"Can you hack the pentagon then"

🙃

Got a phone call: I got an error, what do I do?
Me: what kind of error?
Her: I closed it.
Me: what did it say?
Her: I don't know, it was a window with "ok" and "cancel"
Me: why didn't you read it?
Her: I don't understand this computer language.

/me dies a little inside.
There is nothing quite as stupid as people who refuse to read their own language as soon as it appears on a screen.
They make those things for a reason.
This happens too often.

I FUCKING HATE how I always have to prove my abilities twice to everyone just because I sit in a wheelchair!!!

I mean if the people on the street treat me like a child it's hard enough... they might just be afraid of the unknown or simply stupid... but at the office?
You know what I do for a living... What on earth would make you think you have to treat me as if I have some kind of cognitive disability as well?

I am going to roll/drive over the next guy who does something like that!!!

Sorry for the non dev rant but this had to get out

Please be gentle, first rant here.

I'm a hobby .NET Developer, so nothing serious, but when a "close" friend asked me if i could help him, i saw my opportunity to show my skills.
Said "close" friend is working for a non profit agency and deals with a lot of people, so he asked for a database with some extras. The task was fairly easy and i needed 2 weeks (besides my real Job), to get what he wants.
The big day comes and I show him my work. He was very pleased with it, and also I did it for free, he paid me actually really good money for it. I designed that DB as idiot proof as possible, but i should have known better.
2 month went by without a single crash or any other Problems, but yesterday i received a call..
Him: Your Update broke everything!! fix it asap!!
Me: What happend, I did not push an update for 2 month.
Him: You A**hole, its all your fault!!

After like 5 mins of swearing, I agreed to come over and have a look.
Oh boii, you would'nt believe how stupid some people can be..
Let me tell you, he got 2 files "ProgrammName.exe" and "ProgrammName_Database" and this idiot of a Person thought "hmm my PC ist getting kinda slow, let me delete some junk, so he goes ahead and deletes the whole Database and calls me stupid names, because he lost all his data, and no, MR.I GOT 20 TOOL-BARS INSTALLED AND I DELETE SOME JUNK ASS FILES, I DONT HAVE A BACKUP OF YOUR STUFF!!

So now you know why i called him "close" friend..

Uncle: Programmers who design physics engines do so by typing 1s and 0s on a console. That's why they get paid so much.

Me: 🤔🔪

Google searching should be a school subject. There is so much people that dont know how to use it

Boss: I saw that you are using {some JavaScript library}, why?

Me: you asked for this functionality and the library is very good for that

Boss: here at our company we do not use code from other people, we write everything ourselves

Me: but this library is very well built, actively developed and supported

Boss: I don't care, please rewrite this component

Suffice to say, I quit that job asap. Whoever thinks it's a good idea write so much code for a small purpose in an application when there is something available open source to use, is stupid. In most cases it's better to use something which is out there than to waste time writing a hardly stable version of it.

What the actual fuck? Person (or people!) who devised this password policy, you are an idiot (or idiots - all of you). You are stupid and insane and have no idea about security or user experience.

People on SO are plain stupid

How to check stupid people..(i am one of them)
Ready?
Let's go...
3
2
1....[read more]

At job interview.

Interviewer: Have you ever thought about why manhole covers are round?

Me: It's to accommodate different body shapes of sewer workers.

Interviewer: Hahah. It's actually so the covers wouldn't fall in.

Me: It used to be like that, but they changed it.

Interviewer: What? Who changed it?

Me: The lizard people!

Interviewer: What?!

Me: * cowers in corner and hisses *

I got two motivations to improve myself
1. To earn more
2. To distance myself from stupid people who don't know what they are doing

No, I wont help you solve your stupid problem. If you are not able to read the wiki or the man pages - Arch linux is not for you.

You have only proven that you are stupid enough to listen to other people who likes to brag how good the are, but actually do not know shit.

A few days ago, I ranted about how my college server's GPU is usually crowded and stupid people occupying more than what the require...

Today I wrote a bash script to monitor the server's GPU memory on the real-time basis, that too in my gnome panel.

Manager in 1-1: You tell people they are stupid too often.... Dial it back a bit

Me: They are.

Why the hell do people call smartphones by Apple "iPhones"?! Whenever people call their phones iPhones I start calling my phone by the model number.

Idiots: Oh no! I've lot my iPhone 7s!
Me: Oh no! I've lost my Oppo A37f pink edition!

See, sounds stupid right? Imagine it in everyday life!

-We're packing for camp! You! Take your North Face N638 grey

-Done!

-You, other guy! You will ride your BMX X Black!

See? It does sound stupid!

TL;DR
If you're saying iPhone, you're a fucking idiot. (it's like saying Googling instead of searching the internet)

Lecturer :" Never ever create UML diagrams because it is a waste of time. Only people who can't code create these stupid things. Just sit down and start coding. "

Interviewer: Do you have created any android application before?

Dev: I just built an application to increase, farming production to help farmers earn some more money. It's less profitable but makes farmers better.

Interviewer: That's so stupid. Do you know Jeff Bezos?

Dev: yes

Interviewer: we need someone like that level of visionary to make money for our company. Sorry, we don't think you can make apps that makes people do stupid things for fame.

Dev: Do you know Nicola Tesla

Interviewer : yes

Dev: Well he should have pulled the plug long ago.

Somehow, the company I work for has decided it is ok for people to have their dogs in the office.
One of the dogs is such a sissy, cries and make stupid noises - I has been so for many many month.

Yesterday, when we had our asses full of stuff to do. The dog decided that it really have to take a dump inside the office and start barking (more like "veff").

So I turned around, to my other collegue and asked him really loud:

"Should groceries really do that?"

He is asian, he liked the joke. But the owner did not.

I literally cringed today when my neighbor wanted help installing an app, she didn't tell me it was her banking app... And the thing I needed to help with was logging in... So she told me her bank details...

Even though I said (multiple times) it was dangerous to do so, and that she can't just trust people with this kind of information...

WHY ARE PEOPLE SO GOD DAMN STUPID WHEN IT COMES TO SECURITY!

Intelligence and ability cannot be measured by education.

I have a client who asked a Master in Computer Science to develop a small system, for querying product title and their code. The guy used python, vanilla js, and... Txt file for the "database". Then my client asked me to integrated this in... WordPress.

This was in 2016. And idiot as I'm, I agreed and adapted his code to use php and a database.

April this year, my client said they are still using the python system to add new products all this time, in parallel. And wanted to update the WordPress with the data.

- No problem! - I said. Just send me the SQL file.

So the Master in CS sent me a SQL coded in ANSI. I asked for the SQL again, but with a more appropriate encoding. He took 1 month to reply back, and said it would be better if I get rid of the database and just use the txt file for querying.

This is outrageous.

I really hate people who are educated but completely useless.

No, I can't implement a "pixel-perfect responsive design".

Whoever thinks that coding is easy.

Fuck you motherfucker stupid chicken head nugget sized brain faggots. You think all we do is smash keyboards in front of our screen and it poops code and creates beautiful applications? Fuck you in particular.

One of my friend says sitting on computer for whole day is the easiest thing. What the fuck motherfucker.
One fucking string can fuck your life forever. Innumerable hours will be wasted behind one simple fucked up logic. And u shithead say its easy.
Get into my shoes and let me bang your head on the keyboard and we will see how beautifully it poops code.

Stupid people.

How much I love these idiots for being dumb fuck idiots.

These are the assholes, who are responsible for ruining this generation and creating the 'Move fast, break things' mindset.

Now every Tom, Dick and Harry wants to be a zillionaire over-fucking-night.

Why? Because the loser has attend a stupid workshop and now thinks that their idea is ground breaking and will change the world.

So they update their LinkedIn with all the stupid buzzwords and expect a cock sucking VC to fund their arse hole with money so they can take over.

FUCK SUCH PEOPLE WHO ARE UNREALISTIC.

There is one thing I have seen here in devRant. No matter how stupid rant you post no one trolls you. People are kind of humble here. They try to help you.
Just an observation, may not be true.

-non programmer- friend sees me programming..

"Omg are you hacking?!"

I think it's because of the dark theme.. 🤔😂
.....

How stackoverflow works(for me):

- First some guru will downvote it & someone comments saying it is duplicate/easy/stupid/should be somewhere else.
- Then a very generous person comes in, says its a valid question, answers & upvotes it.
- After few hours/days, other people come looking for the same question & then they upvote it.

This is called a true happy ending.

Last week my company fired 4 people (on top of 15 more over the past few months). This week they silently pushed a change to all of our machines that changed our wallpapers. The wallpaper was a picture of someone in upper management staring at you with wide eyes.

They claimed it was a joke or something but the office didn't see it that way. At best it was incredibly tone deaf and stupid, at worst it was a way to tell employees that they are always watching.

I have no idea how management could be that fucking out of touch.

How can people be so fucking stupid?

Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...

On call part 3: I'M BACK ON THE CAL FROM YESTERDAY FOR THE LAST 6.5 HOURS AND THEY'RE JUST DOING WHAT I TOLD THEM TO DO YESTERDAY. Is it because I'm female? Does having boobs mean I don't know how ssl works and that I can't possibly know about networks? I'm seriously about to just hang up and tell them to deal with it on their own.

Cup is there because it expresses my mood.

I have always thought that I am to dumb to become a dev, but after a few years doing sysadmin shit I have realized that even the most stupid, dumb and idiotic people can be a wordpress developer!

There is still hope for me

I realized how stupid people can be

When you've created a small little program to test out a new language you're learning and you're​ really proud of it 🤗 then show it to your -non programmer- friends and they're like,that's shit wtf is the point in that you're an awful coder...

YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!!! 😫😭

Story time :
Sometime ago I posted a video on YouTube on how to root a particular phone that was lying around at home. I was trying to demonstrate one of those "one-tap root" apps that were plentiful in the market. It so happened that one specific version of Framaroot and one particular method of exploit works for that device. I even verified this by trying different versions and it didn't work. So in the description it was mentioned to use ONLY this version that worked. Few days later there were atleast 5 dislikes and comments that it didn't work on some other version.
Seriously?
That's how I understood how stupid and dumb people can get.

After working for about 3 years of my life I've established the following;

Work is mostly stupid people praising other stupid people about their stupid work, while clever people remain in the shadows. Will this be true for the rest of my career or am I just working at a company with a bad culture?

I'M FUCKING SICK OF HOLDING MY SELF TO DON'T MAKE OTHERS LOOK LIKE STUPID, I DON'T GIVE A FUCK ANYMORE ,NEXT YEAR IS MY TIME TO STAND AND LET PEOPLE KNOW WHO I AM. IF YOU FUCKERS CANT ACKNOWLEDGE THAT EVEN THOUGHT THIS COMPANY'S PRODUCT ISN'T SOFTWARE BUT YOU ARE FUCKING WASTING A GOLDEN RESOURCE ( DEV TEAM ) WITH FUCKING USELESS CRUDS AND USELESS SITES NO ONE FUCKING CARES ABOUT I'M GONNA LEAVE.

Why do not more people get rid of that stupid FB app? Like seriously, free extra hours without charging 🎉

All those fucking non-programmers in my university should fuck off!! Just because am studying computer science and am in 2nd year doesn't mean i have to be like Mark and build Fucking facebook!!
Mark started in his 2nd year...bla bla fuck you!! You wanna make facebook go learn how to code yourself worthless piece of shit.
So much talent is discouraged even before it buds because of these stupid expectations!!

Falcon Heavy launch coming up!
I can't wait. That's something people should watch, fuck the superbowl!
I would say it's 60% as significant as the moon landing was, if not more; a field of technology we should really focus on, but governments rather spend money on stupid war
Make sure to tune in tomorrow, 18:30 / 06:30pm UTC, on SpaceX's YouTube channel
It's going to be spectacular, success or failure

You know why I post such screenshot demeaning companies with respect to their application or service or functionality?

Because, as a tester, it pisses me off how these assholes undermine us, our ability and our work towards building a better product.

Fuck such people who think testing is stupid in software world and isn't important at all.

#TesterLivesMatters

#PostedOneDayAgo, #Applied48YearsAgo

What I've learned after about 10 years in the industry:
1) People are stupid (some even very)
2) Nobody really has an idea what they're doing

Near the end of a massive (1,000 user bridgeline) conference call today:

[ P = presenter, RCn = random caller n ]

P: ...so, does anyone have any other questions they'd like to---

RC1: Hey! Yeah, I'm still on this STUPID call right now... I dunno, we've been in here for like 30 minutes already - The guy came by the house to talk about it, but I couldn't get off this STUPID call - I think they said it would be around 800 dollars...

[ P, RC1, RC2, RC3, RC4 all overlapping ]

P: Um, we can hear you-

RC2: Dude, mute your phone!

RC3: As the presenter, you can mute that guy from the web UI-

P: Yeah, I can't find him in the attendee list; it's so long-

RC3: -Right-click on his name and select "mute line"-

P: I know how, but I can't find him on the list.

RC3: Find him on the attendance list on the right side-

P: [ louder and louder ] Yes, I know - but I can't find him in the list-

RC4: Should someone call an operator?

RC1: -so I figured we'll probably need to call Jerry and see what he says. I'll call him if I can ever get off this ridiculous, STUPID call - They are all talking at once on there now and no one can understand anything!

[ This went on for about 5 solid minutes, finally ending with... ]

RC1: I'm just going to drop this STUPID call and call Jerry for us. This thing was a total waste of time. [ boop-beep ]

[ long pause ]

P: OK, so now that is over, does anyone have any questions they'd like to discuss?

[ At least 10 people un-mute and overlap questions ]

#ConferenceCallProblems

Above everything else, the funniest part to me was his repeated, over-the-top insistence on how "STUPID" the call was.

#TellUsHowYouReallyFeel

Holy shit. I'm sitting in my CS class and I just heard someone complaining about the stupid responses they get when they tell people they're a CS major.

I heard a new one that is honestly the most stupid fucking thing ever. She told someone she's a CS major and they replied "Oh so are you taking a lot of chemistry classes or something?"

STUPID INCOMPETENT DUMB FUCK MOTHERFUCKING CUSTOMERS!!!!

NO MATTER HOW USER FRIENDLY THE USER INTERFACE IS DESIGNED, YOU'RE STILL INCOMPETENT TO USE IT.

GO FUCK YOURSELVES

FUUUUUUCCCCCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Motherfucking Microsoft piece of shit. Next time I hear someone talk anything other than trash about Windows 10 I'm gonna bash his head in. Over one week of rendering gone because the Microsoft motherfuckers decided that they can restart whenever they want. Installing wanna cry is less destructive than this virus sold as an operating system. People liking this Win10 shit must be really REALLY fucking stupid. Fuck you

DevRant is the best. I just gave Imgur another try. It still makes me depressed and loose faith in humanity. All those stupid people. DevRant is much better. Here we have smart people that know how to approach problems and understand jokes.

Why Whatsapp... Whyyy?? Life was so simple with you!! No stupid duck faces, no selfies, no freaking location updates of people I dont care about... Why did you have to go snapchat on us!

Me: Hey Guys we've been working on this application(project 1) for 4 months and i think we're almost done.

Owner of Company(Not My Boss): CooCook4Choo we moving you to project 2, forget about the previous one.

2 months go by, project is completed.

Boss: I've got another project for you
Me: Awesome!

1 month later...

PM: We're moving you back to project 1
Me: Why?
PM: Our senior dev resigned, we only have junior Devs and we need a lot of help before deployment next month.
Me: Why am i moving back to a project i was taken off of
PM: Where an agile company and you will be moved off many projects
Me: **Fuuuuuuuuuuck!!!* Ok i'll need documentation of everything that happened in the past three months, the current issue, what the current sprint revolves around and A demo of what has been added.
PM: Relax, I've got a lot of work myself, you will get them soon.

2 days later, still don't have what i need, PM is on vacation.

Me: Guess i don't have any work to do.

As somebody who appreciates the Apple ecosystem, I have to say I wanted to slap people so hard their grandchildren would feel it when you get these guys with iPhone 6s that were talking about how they’d buy the new iPhone x (before we knew it was called that) the day it came out regardless of what it was. Fucks sake, they have a phone that they paid 800 bucks for less than two years ago. Upgrade? You can’t be serious. Plus they didn’t even know what it was or whether it existed yet. Stupid.

Does anyone else ever feel like they're too stupid to be a good programmer? Like some of the people here are very very intelligent. Meanwhile, I'm over here making a fucking 8% on a calculus exam. I just feel like I'm way too stupid to actually be good at this.

This sort of shit really pisses me off, yes PC has a higher market share, but I had to comment. Mobile gaming dwarfs PC so should we even bother with PC?

And people are agreeing with his point, it's fucking stupid, people should be able to enjoy something no matter what platform, linux, Mac, windows or anything else...

Fuck heads...

The names in the story have been changed to protect not the innocent but the very very stupid. So I set up test accounts for each team member in the new test environment for our project building the new web interface for our SaaS product. Each username had an underscore in it like john_smith. I told everyone the news in the morning scrum and got 2 requests for help an hour later from people saying they could not log in with their username johnunderscoresmith.

We have a ver crappy Internet connection at my office (I believe it's 100Mb/s for 50 people to share), so when somebody starts downloading a big file they pretty much hijack all the available bandwidth and fuck up everybody else.

Now, we have ONE, just ONE SINGLE FUCKING COMPUTER RUNNING FUCKING WINDOWS 10 AND EVERY WEEK IT FUCKS UP THE ENTIRE OFFICE'S INTERNET CONNECTION WITH ITS STUPID FUCKING UNCANCELLABLE MANDATORY UPDATES.
FUCK YOU MICROSOFT.

I realized some time ago that when people ask you to do something and it is too generic, if you keep pushing for an explanation they end up getting angry at you as if you are the stupid one.

So funny, I'm always doing it on meetings now and laughing inside :)

!dev

Sucks how the society pressures people into to stupid, irrational shit.

For the last time, I DO NOT WANT TO HOP THE BANDWAGON.

while(1) {
head.bang(table);
}

Well, I guess all the Linux folks are going to know what I am talking about. Do you know this feeling (Yes, you know. Don't tell me anything.) when you use Linux and nobody else uses Linux in your Work/School. And these people come to you and say.

Stupid people : Oh! You use Linux. That's bullshit!
Me : No it's not. It doesn't do 24/7 updates like Windows.
Stupid people : No, Linux is bullshit you don't have money for Windows. And Linux can't run professional Applications.

Unfortunately there is no medicine that cures dumbness. Just saying ...
I'd rather stay not dumb like these people instead of buying another Windows license.

STARTUP IDEA GUYS SUCKS!!!!

So today one of my friend asked me to do an app for him and finally share 50 percent of the profit that I get. His idea is to build an app that can measure air pollution level, water pollution level, soil fertility range. I was like "what the hell!"... The beauty is that he wants me to pay him 50 percent for giving such (stupid, retarded) idea.

Wondering when these "startup idea guys" will realize that ideas are cheap but execution is worth the millions! Fed-up with such stupid people.

Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.

I hate it when statisticians find correlation between two things and then act like it’s the cause. Seriously, most people are stupid and won’t be able to tell reading your stupid fucking article. How goddamn irresponsible is the media now... and how fucking stupid can you be and still get a masters degree?

A computer is a stupid machine with the ability to do incredibly smart things, while computer programmers are smart people with the ability to do incredibly stupid things.

True Story: Stupid Ass recruitment people

I have had some HR people, who dont know how to Google/research or don't feel like asking the technical people for what they need and instead rely on hot buzz words that are circulating in the industry.
A couple of new positions opened up in our team.
We needed people with jQuery skills.
The recruitment people went on with the Job description stating they need UI/UX engineers. On top of that, they asked for 3+ years of experience for AngularJS (some moron thought if we are hiring JavaScript resource lets have someone with skills for future technologies, just in case). The thing is Angular wasn't out for 3 years back then. How could some one have 3 years of experience in a technology that is barely mde it to mainstream. Moreover, all we wanted was a guy who know JS and jQuery, not AngularJS, and not UI/UX.
Consequently, we couldn't find people in time, the project was delayed and I (and one other person) had excessive work load

I just read the rant: "I use base64 to encrypt my passwords". Found it hilarious!

But I can't believe the amount of people taking it seriously in the comments section! I see just one of these possible explanations.

A) They want to show off
B) They are unable to detect sarcasm
C) They have mastered trolling and I'm stupid

In case it's C, wouldn't this rant be considered as reverse trolling? 😎

Whenever I ask google a stupid question, I do it from a shell so people still think I'm smart.

Why is skids trying so hard when it comes to talking shit about Windows? Do they think that is it the only way to get accepted into the GNU/Linux community?

Personally, I think people who does that look stupid and dumb.

I know many shitheads who are concerned about privacy and all show off with #DeleteFacebook trend without knowing the details.

But the same people aren't hesitant to share their information offline with a complete stranger while filling up forms at any event, bank, saloon or mall for follow up spam e-mails, telephone calls and messages.

Sometimes people are the problem and not these corporations.

We are surrounded by stupid fucktards and morons.

Be prepared, alert and aware of the surroundings because future is full of retards.

"JavaScript is Java."

-lots of dumb programmer... If you can call them programmers

Everytime someone launches a VR headset, people are talking about being able to watch movies in their "personal theater" and I'm here hoping there will be a desktop mirroring or something like a vnc client compatible with the headset so that I can have *infinite* monitors and code more efficiently. I might look stupid swiveling on a chair wearing a headset but hey.. I'll enjoy it!

Imagine.. 32 monitors, a nice piece of noise-cancelling headphones, a swivel chair with keyboard attached ergonomically, backrest bent to near 40degrees..

Senior JS Dev where I'm contracting can't understand why null != "null"

Why management people thinks that a career path for any senior developer is to be a "leader" and be good in business side. Its like saying "hey you are a good programmer, let me take away that work you love to do and do stupid human resource management instead"

Windows is open sourcing their tools slowly to attract more people. Its like trying to do all those stupid stuff to get your girl.
you just never get her.
#loner_life #windows

Forgot my headphones today, had to listen to stupid people on the train and now can't concentrate while writing code! Fuck!

Rant:
Why in the freezing cold all people think that linux = secure. Ransomware... Bla bla not happening on linux bla bla... Linux is secure.

If Linux would have been the most popular one people will pretty much run everything on root and install every stupid package available and never run: apt-get update.

Users were so dumb they got scammed by a phising mail... In freaking 2017... This is user stupidity not OS fault...

God its stupidly annoying seeing the same stuff : Linux secure...
Everything can be secure if you paid attention to the same stuff in freaking 2000.

I dont get people, who work in the IT business but does not have a genuine interest in it.
Everything they will do will be bad
They will not learn nice stuff
They will do stuff slowly
They ask stupid questions all the fucking time

this just happened 10 seconds ago...
My mother wanted to upload a Picture to an stupid online forum... she already had a screenshot... so i told her to open "Imgur.org" she opened it and i showed her how to upload a Picture, we then uploaded that picture and posted the link on that forum... we then opened the link... and she was like: "OMG! Other people can now do shit with my PC!!"
which i replied to: Its a Picture...
She again was like: BUT LOOK!
I again its a Picture, they cant do anything...
I got mad and walked out...

Biggest GTFO moment of the year;

While applying for colleges, I created an account with a username and variant of my usual password (I know, bad move, sorry). I came back to finish the application but had forgotten what variant I had used. So I clicked the forgot password button and got an email with...

MY PASSWORD IN IT!!!!

Plain text password! Just as part of the email! WTF do these people think they are doing?!?!

I immediately changed my password to a random string and deleted my account, so hopefully when someone gets into this database my stuff with be overwritten... stupid programmers...

When people ask stupid questions...

I fucking hate fucking stupid fucking people

xroad's rule for downvoting:

If you just reposted something in the span of a few hours or less I will downvote it.

If your rant starts with "there are 10 kinds of people in the world" my thumb will hit the -- button faster than an intern will ask a stupid question.

I'm working on a stupid simple thing that allows you to find out deep secrets about your friends without embarassing yourself, and vice versa.

Two people get a check box list, here's an example

O Furry
O BDSM
O DDLG
X Vore

---

X Furry
O BDSM
O DDLG
X Vore

And once both of you have filled it out it will only tell you what you have in common.

It's nothing revolutionary, just me learning how to use Rust and SQL (Along with web frameworks and ORM stuff).

Thoughts? Should be out for a demo soon, once localtunnel is back.

Coding != hacking...
These stupid ads are kulling me! When they put them up at least some tought should go into making it meanungful...
Also yeah... Hackers are people with "Anonymous"-type masks and wear hoodies... Such ads annoy me to another fucking level.

Ok thats enaugh.
Some people are still so fucking stupid to ask the same question on XDA and on my thread 15 fucking times.
When you will release it ??
Just wait.
2 days later.
When will you release it ??
Waiiiitttt.
And so on.
Until i got to this point.
I fucking swear if i see some stupid question on my fucking thread that has been answered and the user just cant search then he will get very rude response.
This needs to be done since my thread isnt the only one with those idiotic questions: when will it be done, how to root it (Literally in the main post is the answer).
Lot of devs on XDA agree.
I understand that they are new to it but for ffs search !!!!!!

It's the 21st century. We have this amazing thing called the Internet. It's literally at our finger tips. Any information you want can be found with the tap of a phone screen, and the information will be presented to you in less than a second.

Why is this concept so fucking hard for people to comprehend? Instead of asking me "How do I write a resignation letter?", search the damn internet for resignation letter guides. Like Jesus Christ, it's not that hard of a concept to comprehend. Especially when you've basically grown up with the internet in our lives.

Another incident which made a Security Researcher cry
[ NOTE : Check profile to read older incidents ]
-----------------------------------------------------------
So this all started when I was at my home (bunked the office that day xD) and I got a call from a..... Let's call him Fella as I always do . So here we go . And yeah , our Fella is a SysAdmin .
-----------------------------------------------------------
Fella - Hey man sup!
Me - Good going mate , bunked the office , weather's nice , gonna spend time with my girl today . So what's goinon?
Fella - Bruh my network sharing folders ain't working no more .
Me - Did you changed or modified anything?
Fella - Nope
Me - Okay , gimme your login creds lemme check .
Fella - Check your inbox *texts me the credentials*

*I logged in and what I'm seeing is that server runs on Windows2008R2 , checked the event logs , everything's fine and all of a sudden what I found is fucking embarrassing , this wise man closed SMB service*
Me - Did you closed SMB service?
Fella - Yeah
Me - You know what it does?
Fella - Yeah it's a protocol , I turned it off to protect the server from Wannacry .
Me - Fuckerrrr!!!!! Asshole dumbass you fuckin piece of Dodo's shit!! SMB is the service responsible for files and network sharing!!!
Fella - But....I just wanted protection
Me - 😭😭😭

*A long conversation continues with a lot of specially made words to decrease the rate of frustration which I used already*

Fella - Okay I'm turning it on .
Me - Go on....... Asshole
Fella - It worked! Thanks a lot bro
Me - Just leave me and my soul away from evil and hang up .

*Now the question is , who the hell gives them the post of SysAdmin? While thinking this question , I almost thought of committing suicide​ but then my girl came with coffee and my rubber duck*

Stupid people needs to die, so we won't have to provide IE support anymore.

This is stupid.
Facebook introduces a way of "wasting" your time, but it's up to people whether they will embrace it or not. It all comes down to the consumers. We aren't forced to use it.
Who chose to spend 10 minutes on Facebook per day shouldn't be butthurt that he wasted those 10 minutes that could've been used in a more productive way.

You never lose you just want to lose.
Atleast thats how its with me.
it doesnt matter how big problem do i have in Project there is always some damn solution.
And another one i learned that is never ever ever listen to other people they are probably stupid cause good dev will never tell you what mistake do you have cause he know you need to learn it yourself that is only way to understand it perfectly.

Ouuuuuu yessss i like when people hate linux and then they see how awesome it is and they realized that they were wrong and now they hate themselfs.
Happened to my classmate he always told me that GNU/Linux is stupid which i hated him for since i love linux and well now he needed to use linux in school and boooom he started to love it cause it was so simple with gnome.

Don't get mad / frustrated / angry at stupid people, you're just punishing yourself for their stupidity

Many people know Kaiser Chiefs song Ruby
So yesterday my uncle sang that song this way:
Ruby Ruby Ruby Ruby,
Java Java Java Java
Python Python Python Python
...
That is freaking stupid, it made my day, though)
Besides, that 3 are my fav langs)

Ignoring stupid people.

ummm okay?

Can't blame them really. Most of the people are too stupid to understand that they have to press okay to proceed.

Fuck you sideways stupid ass clowns of HR people.

If you don't want to hire me, it's okay. What is not okay it's to steal several days of my life with your idiotic multi-step interviews, telling me I did awesome and you'd like to hire me as soon as possible, then actively avoid any contact for three whole fucking weeks, just to finally tell me you've chosen someone else with a more prestigious degree but way less actual experience in the field. You'll come to me begging soon and I'll laugh in your faces.

I don't like peoples who force a windows users switch to Linux. It's their FUCKING CHOICE. Let them whatever they like to use it. Forcing people to use something is JUST STUPID and I see them as MORONS.

You are the reason behind not taking self decision making.

FUCK YOU MORONS. FUCK YOU

STRONG OPINIONS.

Don’t you hate it when people completly overcomplicates code?

The bottom one is my edit of the code.

A people person is only a people person to another people person. I fucking hate them. Most sales people I see don’t really have any skills per say. They think they do by claiming to be a people person. The entire sales community is like this. Fake as shit. They pay thousands to learn something that has been written in Medium or you could just Youtube. I think I can pretty much get the fact if you wanna make a video do well, you need a good title. They speak everything on the surface. And they claim to a be a layperson. Well, no. Fuck you. I not giving you an average. You are stupid as shit. They can’t write a proper fucking email. I have to go through kubernates and monads and they still make more money than devs via commission. They are too sober and fucking pretentious too. Fuck em fuck em fuck em.

The biggest lesson I learned in Frontend Dev is: listen to users, not clients.

There are so many rants about stupid ass clients on here, and when you let clients treat you like that, it's kind of your own fault. Look at how people use your interfaces and you will immediately see what's bullshit about them. When you have user behavior as an argument basis, clients will listen to you.

Working on an IT Helpdesk would be so much easier if it wasn't for all the stupid people who call us!

Im so fucking disgusted with the paternalistic superiority complex so many techbros have.

They see themselves as the new elite priestly class, protectors of the Sacred Tech, convinced everyone else is too stupid to handle themselves.

The answer to stupidity is not to keep people in the dark, enforcing only more stupidity. What a dismal worldview. Treat other humans with respect and dignity and they will surprise you.

Worst part is being asked to do stupid things (hack, give people followers, give free money)

When I request that a client sends me the images they would like on their website. I do not expect 25 Emails each with one fucking image.

Woo! 1000++!

This is such an amazing community, with a lot of great people!

I keep finding myself coming here when I'm stuck on something, just to pass the time and think a bit, and it's honestly very entertaining and interesting seeing all the different ways people can swear about how stupid their co-worker(s) are.

A schoolmate asked @pavolhalas, if he can write html code on a sheet of paper.

I die a little bit on the inside when a news headline says “sleeping more than 8 hours a Day is linked with higher risk of cardiovascular disease, and death”

Why must stupid people exist

I’ll keep that in mind, wouldn’t want to risk the chance of eventually dying!

In my software development class today, the teacher asked us what a double equal sign means, and I swear to god, a student said “it double equals that value” 🤦‍♂️

Today I showed and told some of devRant's rants to one of my housemates (I have 2 and they're both non devs) and he said "People can't be that stupid". Oh boy are you wrong

Client: "I cant logging me in"
Me: "Ok do you know your username? "
Client: "yes, off course"
Me:"ok, which password do you use?"
client: "I looked to my colleague... 5 stars"
Me: 🤐😣😯😭😭

Height of stupidity.

It took that person 16 sets of new batteries to conclude that the remote is defective.

It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!

working in IT support sometimes makes me wonder if people are really that stupid or they try to test me if i am really stupid.

I didnt thought I have to write this down, but you people dont get standard business logic, so here advice from someone who knows that shit:
- If you wanna get paid, make your own contract and let a lawyer look over it.
- always have a lawyer on retainer and enough money for him/her.
- nothing is real without a signature.
- your clients should know that you're gonna sue them if they don't pay.
- don't go easy on anyone, here an easy way to decide if you should sue:
Didnt pay? Sue.
Breaks contract? Sue
Asks for later payment? Dont
- always code in a killswitch, trust me you're gonna need it.

My biggest obstacle? Stupidity, laziness, willfull ignorance, procrastination.

Sometimes my teammates are the ones guilty of these things too. That, and impossible timetables, but that's par for the course for pretty much all of us.

Bureaucracy is the biggest impediment to progress.

Instead of putting a brick wall in front of you by saying "The PO said that you created a bug", learn how to communicate and have a horizontal hierarchy, for fuck's sake.
Even if all my tests passed, they still throw other bugs in my face and call it my fault. Fantastic. I love Scrum. This is not Scrum, this is abusing and not respecting Scrum.

Stupid rules, stupid people.

Now I have to wear a stupid shirt, go to my stupid office and tolerate stupid people.

*Ciiiirrrrcle of lifeeeeeee

*Warning angry rant
Unreal Engine, NVIDIA Waveworks and windows... Go fuck yoursleves. I have had enough. I have project at uni which involves me to create a realistic ocean simulator with bauyancy etc. And all I've fucking had with preice of crap software is hell.

First of all to use waveworks u need to compile the mother fucking unreal engine from scratch. Which takes some crazy whichcraft cause somehow it took me and 4 other people 4 weeks to work that out without running into a stupid error.

After all that now somehow the folder in which the editor has all its binaries is corrupted.

WHY. WHY DOES THiS HAVE TO HAPPEN!!!

For fucks sake can people stop using phones while walking, especially in busy places it's getting fucking ridiculous not to mention dangerous, the number of people I've seen that have headphones on and are glued to their screens almost bumping into people. What can they possibly be doing that's so important that they cant leave their phone in their pocket for 15 minutes while they get to where they need to be.

I've just added the possibility to connect to an external game server to my app and immediately regret it. People started sending me emails saying that it doesn't work. What they entered in the URL bar? "hi", "cunt" and a porn website...

It still amazes me that people willingly choose apple. After being given a MacBook for work, I sort of expected it to grow on me a bit. But no, it forces you to do everything in their stupid apple way. It is form over function in its purest form.

Oh my fucking god people are stupid, or ignorant, or fucking both.

How hard is it to copy a password from an email and paste that fucker in and press login.
Seriously several times of “this is your email” and “THIS” is your god dam fucking password.
God kill me now.

(No the password isn’t stored in plaintext, I reset it myself before sending it to the user)

Suck my sweatty balls you cock sucking, brain washed ignorant flat earth mother fuckers. If only evolution was more aggressive, we'd have gotten rid of you in the stome age. But hey you can still choke your crap filled mouths on fucking tide pods you stupid cunts.

If only people would stop bashing technologies just because their news say so.

Seriously every forum I visit, there's always some post saying "fuck technology x, it's ..."

Poor me, a dev, sometimes fails to ignore idiots and replies to such posts. "But it's not anonymous, the government said.."
"it is against god's will, our *insert religious figure here* said..."

Fuck your cock sucking governments!!
It's just like every fucking innovation ever. First religion: I'm not against religion at all, if it's something that brings a person peace of mind... but please keep away from interfering with scientific progress. After all if you're so sure about what you're believing in, there's nothing you should be afraid that science would reveal, no?

Then governments: government? Manipulating people? Feeding brains shit? pfftt when does that happen?
Fuck every cock sucking government.. except you know, tbe good ones I guess :p

If people listened to those ignorant cunts back in the days, we'd still believe we're the center of this whole fucking universe, and that a whale ate the moon every now and then...

And then you find out ignorance is infectious. Ignorants start spreading ignorance, and if enough ignorants believe some shit... the shit becomes the truth.

Can you please fucking read about the thing you're about to ignorantly bash before doing so?

Can you stop listening to news and governments about this crap? If anything it's in your govs best interest to keep you afraid of progress.

I'm literally just talking for the sake of it, It's what rants are for no?

Idk I should probably just ignore idiots on the internet... but there's a limit to how much ignorance and stupidity you can take.

At least we'll never run out of restaurant employees I guess

people always complain about semicolons but I don't think I've ever had a semicolon issue cuz of ide's. but I'm plagued by tons of other stupid mistakes, like forgetting to initialize my ArrayList<>'s in java from null to empty..

Rewrote to be shorter:

I’m always shocked when I wake up and the headline news on my phone is that a bunch of controlled tests got a ton of weapons through TSA. And this is public news on the front page of the goddamn paper WHY exactly? Are people fucking stupid? I’m starting to think the average IQ of humans is like 8. Maybe 8 and a half. This is like the fourth time in the last decade that they have written this on the front page of the paper. Why do they want people to know TSA doesn’t work THAT badly? I just don’t understand how anybody’s intellect could be that numb.

Many people / engineers around me talk about trendy stuff like Cybersecurity or AI and show off what great encryption and neuronal networks they 'have built' ( I would rather say 'using').

I kinda get the feeling of 'Everbody talks about it - no one really knows what's goin' on inside (especially those guys who hate math and even algorithms).'

Am I just stupid or does somebody else here feel the same way? I mean people have been doing serious research about this stuff for years. And currently many kids are coming up with it as if it is easy stuff like the bubble sort.

So we have a portal for all our University courses, where the professors also upload the presentations, etc.
Professor sends Email: Please participate in this questionnaire.
*clicks link*
"Please log in to continue"
*logs in*
Error (while I am already logged in): "Please log in to continue"
????

No wonder some people nick name the thing stupid. <.<

Why can't people be more objective on demands?

These people can't fucking grasp the concept of "ask for something" NOOO they have to fucking make an endless black hole stupid speech to tell you to "do x"!!!!

FUCK YOU WHO DO THAT!!
YOU HAVE AN ASSHOLE WHERE SHOULD BE YOUR MOUTH!

Why are some people just so dumb? Not specifically with programming or development but just in general. How have we not reached a point where everybody has a substantial understanding of common sense and ethics?

Social media has made so many fucking stupid people famous, I don't see any advantages of all these platforms!
And while writing here this, I am also being somewhat hypocrite!

"Likes","retweets", ++", fucking kerma...all are creating much of the fucking trouble already!

(Excluding /r/aww)

Mobile phones are from hell >:[ Well, at least my gf's Samsung is from hell. It makes noise for anything. If someone calls, play a stupid melody. If there is a text, play a stupid melody. If its battery needs to be charged, play a stupid melody. If its battery is fully charged, play a stupid melody. Even if it's in the middle of the night and people just maybe would like to get a few minutes of sleep! What's next? Play a stupid melody when the stupid Samsung Android piece of junk wants its diaper changed? Or when it's bored? Or just needs attention? Or when it realises that the word "smart" in smart phones actually means stupid? SHUT UP!!! We don't need a tamagotchi, we already have two kids and two cats to fullfill our tamagotchying needs! Technology is supposed to make life easier, not worse FFS! No wonder so many people get stressed out these days! And you, pathetic people at Samsung, or whoever that come up with these "smart" features that deprave decent people of their sleep, now it's your turn to be woken up! WAKE UP IDIOTS! Get outside your small mobile-bound shitholes of confined fart-filled bubbles! Learn about REAL LIFE, get yourselves nagging gfs, screaming kids and a PUNCH IN YOUR FACES! Maybe that will teach you to manufacture phones that SHUT THE FUCK UP during sleeping hours!

I'm trying to explain to this dumb mf-er why we can't use send data simply.
It's a mobile platform I said, you can't rely on having network I said, the dumbass users might try it on 2% battery I said.
DO'H BUT MY INTERZ CAN DO IT IN 5 MINUTES.
Yeah, enjoy crashing the app with asynctask like a stupid bitch. When it fails under nearly every possible condition that deviates from the ideal, you can go write down how great your interns are, eat it up, shit it out and when you grow a flower from that, then I might help you again.
Retard server people.

Lately I've noticed a lot of people complaining about webview apps (electron and so on)... While I see their arguments for resource hungry apps, slow and unreliable - I strongly think that it's just complaining for no reason....

It's slow - yes
It's stupid to make web work in native - yes
But guys, isn't it awesome that technologies allows us to do such things? Even a simple web developer can quickly prototype an application on mac/windows/linux/android/iphones - even if it's not a great one, you still don't need to learn all the corks and quacks of the languages... You just need to get it out there!

So, I'd like to say that we should actually appreciate things we have more, even if it's as stupid as emoji coding language :)

ps. I really admire the emoji language as it's amazing on the spectre of what is possible.... :D

" What's the big deal ?
It's just an if condition right ? " - Every manager / product owner ever.

And all the devs be like #facepalm !

Worst Monday ever.... going back to work today after a lovely week off. Just checked my emails before I get to the office and I’m already offended by the amount of ‘stupid’ that has happened whilst I’ve been away. Wish me luck, I may have murdered someone by the end of the day!

I took 2 days off...
Scope doubled...

I'm surrounded by idiots.

I see loads of rants complaining about getting asked for tech help. And then I see Linux getting recommended as an OS.

Me? I'm telling everyone to use ChromeOS so they leave me the fuck alone.

In the future, I'll tell everyone they are too fucking stupid to own a computer and phone is the way to go.

Systems thinking, people.

family member/friend/someone: hey can you-

me: no

them: why not?

me: windows is updating, sorry

YOU DENSE MOTHERFUCKER!

If anyone read my last rant, I talked about how I wanted to buy a new phone with a subscription line, but they didn't allow me because "the system says you already have one and you're over due with the payments"

FUCKING MORONS, I don't know who coded the system but I will find you and bury your head in your own shit!

They use people's RFC (Mexican Tax ID number) to create an "account" and allow buying a phone. The ID it's composed by:

NNNNYYMMDDXXX

Where N are letters from our name, then they use our birthdate's year, month and day, finally they generate three unique characters to avoid ID clashes.

Well, this stupid fucker who coded the system thought it was OKAY TO STORE ALL BUT THE CHARACTERS THAT MAKE THE ID UNIQUE.

Fucking fucker...what were you thinking?

I was finishing compiling the linux kernel in tty mode for a school project in the subway cuz the class was over and it was not finished. A guy came to me and said : I used to do that, but on a Mac. Then he left. I was like : wtf do you think I'm doing? You don't compile the linux kernel on a fucking Mac. And why would you mention it was a Mac anyway?I guess he just did ls -al on his Mac in tty.

Why is the internet such a toxic place... You voice your personal opinion and instantly have people who believe they are 'better' than you call you a stupid consumer because they use something that others may not care for.

Fuck me people, why can't we just have opinions and respect each other, it's not that fucking hard!

[on git] "how can I use the remote to see what's on my local computer? How do I know if someone else has cloned so I don't edit their files?"

By itself, not terribly stupid... Git can be complicated... But this is coming from people who are supposed to be familiar with basic CM, but aren't.

I just can't believe how unbelievably and incredibly stupid people can be. Why is it illegal to punch people in the face after they said something stupid? Why?

Im learning Advanced Computing in a institute. Prior to that I have done many projects with Unity 3D, MEAN and C#. But guy who is teaching is very rude every time to the class. 'you people are stupid' 'you cant do anything on your own' 'that's why your here'. And Im self tought programer so Im getting really angry at such comments. How to deal with this?? 😥😫

Is anybody else getting sick of the fact that photobucket broke half of the pictures on the internet? Sure it costs money to provide that hosting but people would have never used it in the first place if it hadn’t been free. That’s stupid.

So continuing my last fuck money rant, I contacted the credit card company (took an hour of waiting on the line) and they said my card has around $1500 ceiling (estimated because its not dollars here), and about $1100 of it was blocked by the car rental company for insurance purposes. Turns out after I rented a car a month ago, these fuckers forgot to release my card. Now they communicate by emails and I don't know when they'll solve this issue, but I hope next week I'll be free again.

Man, this sucks.

Here I am just tryna browse a site and this stupid attempt to trick me into falling for a scam pops up. There is no way to stop the pop up because I can’t tap anything fast enough. Not even restarting the browser because it remembers this as the last URL it had accessed. Looks like I have to uninstall and reinstall chrome. Honestly, if you’re a scammer, what the hell is the point of doing this? What idiot is going to call the number? All it does is annoy you to the point of suspicion. Or maybe there are people stupid enough!?

To people who know a part of their software is shit, and are always like,
" there's no need to fix it, if it's working"

FUCK YOU!

And what makes you even worse? Not commenting that shit!! Seriously how can you live with your useless selves if you don't comment your stupid code?! How do you even understand what you wrote a while later? You sure aren't a super computer... at least looking at your SHIT CODE!

I spent all of last week reading through code written by dinosaurs, just because our Android app was crashing due to stone age old code that was written by a moron who doesn't understand that you SIMPLY DON'T FUCKING DO NETWORK CALLS ON THE FUCKING MAIN THREAD. And that being said... how about doing a bunch of them in a while loop?! Are you fucking retarded?!

Also it would be nice if you commented your stupid code from time to time. We all do stupid things, but if someone gets slapped in the fucking face with your old shit and decided to be kind enough to fix?! Is he supposed to ask the devil for explanation?!

I had to read every fucking line, just to make sure I didn't delete something crucial. And guess what, it was such an important part of the app, written 12 months ago, by people who don't exist at our company anymore, and hopefully from the world, that took care of one of our most important core features.

It all turned out to be replaceable by one method, instead of using like 6 files to do what turned out to be a simple stupid fucking file upload! But if you only commented what that shit does, and didn't use method names like addAlarm() and startSupport() I would've known that it FUCKING uploadsAFuckingFile()

So stupid to have my stuff ruined by code written so badly. I had closed the ticket, and was heading home when suddenly everything crashed just cause of people slacking like this ... and looking at the stacktrace to see a class name that's unheard of by the whole team... speechless

Seriously people like this should be liquified :@

f#cking idiots always saying stupid things followed by "I'm not an idiot..."
and trying to humiliate other people...

Ok I have been incredibly offended. So a classmate asked if I wanted to be a computer repairman when I grew up I yelled hell no and shes like but what will you do then with that useless knowledge? I just looked at her. But wait, there's more. My teacher took me to the principal for having my terminal open in linux. I then got yelled at for "hacking" and it took me forever to try and explain I wasn't but they didnt believe me. So I got yelled at for half an hour before school ended.

Anyone else get super pissed when people go out of their way TO LEAN DOWN to look at your phone screen, especially when you don't want them to? I'm on devRant minding my own business, and people will FUCKING WALK OVER AND STARE AT MY SCREEN, and then will START ASKING QUESTIONS ABOUT WHAT I'M DOING, READING, WHAT WHY WHEN WHERE HOW! Why, the fuck, do people think this is ok? Then you get that one guy who decides to fucking start asking me about what I'm on as I am reading, obviously busy (what are you reading? Rant? What? Hey what is this? It must be Reddit. Reddit is better. What is on this app? This is stupid. Wait no, go back- you upvoted that? Why? So what is this again?) Or how about when you're texting or writing an important email, and someone fucking walks over and stands there and starts reading?! The hell? Am I the only one that this makes want to punch a wall (or the person)?

I think God is a developer. I have to say a most impressive feat, even for God, is the idiot algorithm. It has persisted through millennia of attempts to remove it, but it just keeps refining itself. While it's incredibly brief, its functions are yet to find an environment in which they cannot operate. It's full adaptable to any task, impressively modular, and self replicating.

No matter how what problem you present it with the idiot algorithm can always find a solution. It never leaves well enough alone. It can even give you an answer before everything is fully processed!

I was wondering how many years will I get for killing muggles who approach me with ideas about the "Next Facebook Idea" after hearing I am a programmer?!

Would be possible to be freed of all charges?

TL;DR fuck stupid people

I had to develop a rather simple Android app. It had to scan a qr code and let the user validate an invitation based on that code.
It had 2 fucking screens, one for statistics, one for the scan.
One week before going live

Product owner: The app is too complicated.
Dev/me: What?😶
PO: I want you to get rid of the statistics screen. Also make the text and buttons bigger. Also keep in mind we might want it back after.

Needless to say the app looks like shit with the exagerated font size.
At least it's so idiot proof that even a monkey could use it.😂

I've just realized that a game with over 1 million downloads (the ranking list is over 2 million people) has its solutions saved in the preference's file. So anyone with a rooted phone can access this file. This make me so fucking crazy: you make a stupid shitty game and get over 2 million users and don't even bother to make it good.
Now I have to decide whether to write to the developer to inform him that this is a stupid way to store the solutions or to make an app to let everyone know the solutions.

If only this button could make this shitty work week end & launch me in to paradise. I've had it up to here with PMs, clients, sales and stupid people. Any one else? 😖🙋🏼👋🏼

I once worked for a dev shop who would present themselves as an NGO to provide IT solutions for other NGOs. There were total of 6 employees out of which only me and my friend was the sole developers. And the other 4 ppl would get salary for doing nothing. And they paid us peanuts and made us work parallely on multiple projects at once. Multiple as in not 2-3, it used to be 5-6 projects simultaneously!

Shittiest place I have worked. Fuck the stupid dev shop and fuck the people who run them. Hypocritical bastards.

wizz kid at work has been working as the lead of our 2 man project for a few weeks.

my first time doing oop back end programming.

he has now pissed off for a week and i found that he made changes directly to the demo version without pushing to bit bucket.

now I have a demo version that is going out with God knows what changes, and a repository version that I can't merge. why?

I hate developing for iOS. So many certificates here and there for simple things. And to top it all off, sometimes, you get people reviewing your app that say you can't upload to the App Store for stupid reasons. Does anyone feel the same way?

!!showerthought

People who dox are stupid because they do whatever they do

People who get doxxed are stupid because they didn't take care of their privacy on the internet

People who go to doxxed people's homes are stupid because it's illegal to break in and they blindly believe the doxxers

Learning to juggle my depression/anxiety/urge to punch stupid people. Currently still a work in progress.

I hate my company more and more everyday. 1. Release on Friday afternoon. 2. I should be home but that bitch decided that she wants to change something now, because she forgot to do that before. Of course, this shit cannot wait until Monday.

I fcking hate when my friends come to me for restoring his stupid blocked accounts like Instagram, Facebook, Google etc... OMG I'm a fcking computer technician not a hacker

Why the fuck do people at certain universities and colleges think they have to translate programming related expressions? They sound extremely stupid and often misleading for someone who studied CS in English.

I had an interview recently at a company where the interviewer, who most likely studied at one of those unis, asked questions in our native language and I had to ask for clarification multiple times because of this shit. Now they probably think I'm not even familiar with some of the basics. 😤

!dev

is it just me or are others also noticing that our society is getting similar to the one seen in Idiocracy [the movie]?

I mean... I'd understand one or two dumb things: people do it, realize how stupid it is and move on. But now it's more like the other way around: people do something smart, realize it, undo it and move on.

Has anyone else seen Idiocracy?

They want what?! Call me away from vacation even though I'm not employed there anymore because they are to STUPID to read a FUCKING EMAIL?!

I sent the mail to THREE PEOPLE with the path to the docs and friggin TRIPLE CHECKED THE PATH AND FILES...

"Yeah could you please be there tomorrow morning?"

Why am I so stupid? I still don't understand programming after three years of studying on my own. I even went to a programming boot camp and got a c.s Degree. Just tell me that I'm not a fit for programming so I can quit. It seems to me like I don't know anything, I feel like I can't learn for shit. What am I missing, why can't I write code on my own? Why do I always need people held my hand? Why I don't understand anything?

Learning JS in 2018 is like asking programming advice from sales people. What the fuck is going on man? Halfway through trying to convince the company to use all these new shits, I felt stupid as shit.

I'm kind of triggered by all these social media posters and SEO optimizers and "wordpress developers", it's one of the oldest internet scam "jobs" in my eyes where anyone can do what they are doing, yet somehow they are getting paid absurd amounts of money for who knows what. I'm just triggered by how much these people get away with. And stupid ass "companies" that I see all over first google results whose pricing starts from 5k and they're resumes are stock unmodified fucking wordpress themes that cost 39-59 bucks. WHAT THE FUCK. I just want to make a huge wave about this, this is straigh up scaming people. I couldn't live with myself if I would charge this amounts of money for installing a fucking wordpress theme and uploading a few photos. Are you kidding me. And seo scammers? is writting a 200 word essay with fucking yoast seo optimisation worth a few hundred? IS IT?

We are switching to an infinite scroll mode for our app. I told the backend dev in my project (we're just 2 people) I need an API to get more than one post at once.
He told me to use a loop to call the old URL 15 times.
...Not sure if stupid or just too lazy

When you start a project with random people and they have no idea how GitHub works, but still push new idiotic changes that make the app become slower and slowerevery hour it feels bad.
But when you ask them wtf are they doing and they answer 'Sorry, I don't understand you' it is an overkill. Wth?!

Our sales department is going on an expo and want us/me to build a interactive map (like this tweetping.net) to visualize our business global presence. Deadline is in 1 week and to rub it more into my face make it work offline... Team leaders answer is "No problem", FML -.-

Not really in work as a job, these people inspired me rather in lifestyle and thinking: (these are not quotes!!)

Richard Stallman - you can't be sure the program isn't harmful unless you see and understand the code.

Linus Torvalds - doesn't matter if you like the person or not, let the code speak for him/her.

Raymond Hettinger - there are both stupid and smart people. It doesn't matter. What matters is asking the right questions and providing clean and explaining answers.

As much as I love programming, I like to help others when they're in trouble with code (even thoe sometimes I'm not that helpful) but I hate when someone asks me for help and when I try that person acts he knows it all and that my suggestions are stupid... I mean why did he ask for help in the first place?

I've seen a bunch of people criticizing the people who repeatedly criticize/hate windows.

Lemme stop you right there.

Now, hating on something just because it IS that something is stupid, I'll grant you that much. But when windows does stupid shit, I am going to complain about said stupid shit.

Deal with it.

Does coding makes you anti-social?

I don't know why but I have begin feeling uncomfortable around people (though I wasn't much of a social person earlier, but it feels a lot different now). Most of the people around me do not code, and for some weird reason I find their conversations quite .. Umm ..stupid? Now I am sure I am the faulty one here. (I feel dumb around people sometimes :S).

I am not a professional developer. I am a student, can't even call myself a developer. I am learning, and have a long road ahead. But this thing keeps me distracted (a lot).

Is this some kind of phase or something(I don't know what else to call it)? Has anyone been in this position? Don't know what to do here!

Who the fuck thought putting a motherfucking portable AC that is almost half my weight and that has rotating wheels on the bottom onto a fucking flimsy piece of angled cardboard was a fucking good idea?!!

That fukken thing drove over my toe, ripped several layers of skin off and sliced into it at the same time... I just couldn't open my mouth for probably 5 minutes because I would just be shouting and swearing like crazy... There was a trail of blood behind me as I somehow made my way to a first aid kit... I'm considering going to the hospital to get it checked but I thankfully managed to stop the bleeding with bandages....
Fucking hell....