Boss: I need you guys to give me an estimate on how long this project will take.

Team: We've put a lot of thought into this, and we think we can get it done in 2 months.

Boss: I need it next week.

We need more of this

Slowly hide the site until they pay

It doesn’t matter your level of experience, we’ll always screw something up.

Just doing it for the pizza!

I gave my team 2 weeks notice last week. Now, every time something “stupid” happens, this is how I feel! I’ll be starting at my new job in a few weeks and couldn’t be more excited!

Weirdest technical interview:

I was applying all over during my last semester in college (before graduating). This place was hiring a PHP developer for their “web store”. My interviewer invited me into her office, pulled out a laptop, and asked if I could walk her through some of the existing code. After I successfully did, she responded with “oh wow, we had no idea it was doing all of that!”.

The main room consisted of 6 folding tables lined with people on desk phones (probably support/sales). When I asked her where I would be working (mostly concerned about not being able to focus over the constant phone calls), she said that I would just share her desk in her office.

Then she asked if I could start the next day, without giving my internship any kind of warning that I’d be quitting so abruptly. She also asked me to start missing class, so I could spend more time at work. Saying things like “if you already have the job, why focus on school?”. When I asked who wrote that code, she told me that it was an out of state contractor that they’re trying to get rid of, because his rates were too high.

I told her that I would need a few days to think about it, which gave me time to call the other places that I had interviewed, but were still waiting to hear back. Luckily, when one of the places heard that I had been offered a job, they decided to rush their hiring process and offered me a job over the phone!

It’s been 6 years, and I am so thankful that I didn’t have to take that sketchy job.

!rant I’ve been with the same company for 6 years, but the past few years things have been continually declining. Nothing has been awful, I just feel like there is very little room for promotion, or even worse, knowledge gains (we do a lot of win forms, c# mvc, vb6, sql stored procs). I’ve been so desperate to learn “new stuff” that I’ve been picking up contract work where I can find it (for nights and weekend projects). I’m excited to say that the company I’ve been doing most of my contract work with has offered me a full time remote position! It’s a 30% increase in pay, all new tech (mostly React Native, ReactJS, GraphQL, Nodejs, python, and integration with existing .Net applications)!

Feel honored DevRant, I’m telling all of you before I even share the news with my family (with the exception of my wife)!

How to fix a bug in production

DevRant users (and my wife) are the only people that know that I have applied for 2 new jobs! I’ve already had a phone interview with each. Tomorrow I have a 2 hour in-person technical interview, and last night I completed a technical assessment/sample application for the other position!

Things are moving fast, but I don’t want to let friends and family know yet, until things get a little more certain.

It’s such a weird feeling going to work everyday knowing that my current job may be coming to an end!

If any iOS developers are wanting a good repo to follow, I believe HeadGazeLib is about to take off.

There's been a few articles about how eBay is using head tracking to allow for hands free shopping (huge for accessibility!) If the rumors are true, then Apple should be announcing many more devices that support Facial Recognition (like the iPhone X). If they do, then there will a huge surge in games/apps that tap into that technology.

HeadGazeLib makes it super easy to incorporate Head Tracking in your apps, so I think with all the publicity, it will quickly rise to the #1 head tracking "add-on".

https://github.com/eBay/HeadGazeLib

How do you pronounce GUID? gwid or goo-id?

When I drink iced coffee....

How to deal with low motivation:

Add more money

Does this drive anyone else CRAZY?!?!?

Apple, I usually enjoy your products, but REALLY?!?! Why didn’t you design a mouse to be used while it’s charging?!?

HELP!!

I am starting a new contract to create a full stack web application with a medical company that will contain some sensitive data about their clients/patients.

I have been working as a salaried full-time employee for a medical software company, but I have been shielded from any sort of lawsuits from the client (worst case scenario, I'd get fired).

Do any of you have any advice on what I should do to protect myself in terms of LLC's, Insurances, etc?

Recursion: See Comments

Worst thing I’ve seen another developer do?

Asking a simple question before trying to google the answer.

I just started Silicon Valley over the weekend, and now I’m hooked!
Now that Today is Monday, and I have to go back to work, I’m tempted to take 30 minute bathroom breaks so I can watch a few episodes!

When you don't compress image uploads.

Dev Superpower: The ability to name things.

JavaScript math is hard.

The best part of being a developer? Finding extra side work (easily) to completely pay for a vacation for my wife and I to Ecuador/Peru! We're currently sitting in the airport!

Am I the only one that uses chopsticks to eat snacks at the computer?!?

Am I the only one that will have my headphones on (without music) just so people will not bother me?

Everytime I throw my stress ball (and miss...because sports are hard) at a co-worker, they ALWAYS think I'm throwing an orange at them.

Fellow ranters, what are your thoughts on if an developer should strive to be an expert on a single language/skill (deep knowledge) vs knowing a little about everything (wide knowledge)?

Apple's new campus is expected to be in direct violation with the federal building regulations, as it is not up to par with the fire code standards.

The campus has no Windows.

When back-end engineers get excited about something.