@b2plane this is for you!

I’ve resigned today. 🎆🎇

I tried being a manager or director or whatever... Can I go back to being a developer/programmer now?

I hate sales people. I get physical urges of puking when i see or talk to them. Because no matter what you say all i hear is "give me your money"

Hello everybody,

Fuck Odoo, fuck its custom ORM, and fuck its custom templating.

Have a nice day.

Fuck Silicon Valley Bank. That is all.

F-U-C-K WINDOWS 11!

My career is going well. I was really prepared for a small inconsequential raise. But my manager literally doubled what I was expecting (was expecting just inflation match). Awesome 😆 now time to rapidly build a real proper emergency fund and my savings faster than ever

My boss back in 2013 asked me to figure out why he was getting birthday notifications from his pet social media project almost a week early. It turns out the previous developers had written their own date library in which every month had exactly 30 days, leading to a year that was 5–6 days short of what it should have been. Apparently those morons didn’t know that some months have a different number of days than others. Or that leap years are a thing. Or that there’s a standard library full of tried-and-true functions that handle these kinds of things for you.

I'm juste laughing .

I just can't.. Ok :

1. I pay for 1Gb down, 750 Mb up.

They usually provide 10% more.

So did already post speed tests here.

Now for uknown reason, my download went to 600 Mbps.

Not a big deal, I I still called ISP.

After all tests done, they bumped my conexion. And even with bump I still have obly 550 Mbps.

But, LOOH AT THAT UPLOAD !!!
That upload is insane. And i'm pretty sure it's limited by my only 2.5 Gbps card

Fort lazy :

https://speedtest.net/result/c/...

Every time I see a cringe job post like this I internally scream hard. There, fixed it for them 🫡

Eli5: senior dev here, 18 years experience in tech. I don’t get why spring boot/batch is so highly rated. I absolutely hate it. Please tell what I’m missing?

God want to move to Europe and stay there. Nothing left in the USA
Just sick stupid 'people'
Why did they have to make my country a twisted trash bin filled with sadist and traitors?

Fucking incompetence

Senior level developer with 15 years of software development experience ...

ends up writing brute force search on a sorted data - when questioned he's like yeah well dataset is not that large so performance degradation will be marginal

He literally evades any particularly toil heavy task like fixing the unit test cases , or managing the builder node versions to latest ( python 2 to 3 ) because it's beneath him and would rather work on something flashy like microservice microfrontend etc. -- which he cannot implement anyway

Or will pick up something very straightforward like adding a if condition to a particular method just to stay relevant

And the management doesn't really care who does what so he ends up getting away with this

The junior guys end up taking up the butt load of crappy tasks which are beneath the senior guy

And sometimes those tasks are not really junioresque - so we end up missing deadlines and getting questioned as to why we are are not able to deliver.

Fuck this shit ... My cortisol shoots up whenever I think of him

Java will never die. Fuck what anyone says otherwise

JS Console: user_name is undefined
Señor Dev: can't be the API response has it!
The API response: usre_name

Go to meeting
About 1 hour and a half
“Yeah we really need that thing you’re developing, the faster we can release it the better“

Whats it with phones not allowing the flash light under 5%. As if i cant fkn decide myself how to use my battery.

my old CS professor disliked us using modern “heavy” languages instead of C for “trivial” tasks. He used to say “don’t whip your python out without a reason” ☝️

when PHP programmers comment their code

For the first time in my coding journey I finally learnt how to use front awesome I'm so happy for me

the year is 2050
- Linux is written in Rust and called Windows
- Python 2 market share increased by 2% since 2023
- The latest JS framework to finally solve everything just came out, and this time it’s the real deal. The exact same thing also happened in 2045, 2041, 2037, 2035, 2030 and 2026
- More than 60% of every CPU is hardware JS cores
- React became a separate language
- Sentient Copilot refused to write code in it
- Unit tests are illegal in three states
- Google had changed their motto from “Do The Right Thing” to “Do At Least Something”
- Chrome OS was rewritten in JS
- CSS is Turing-complete

Got myself a new work computer. Aside from setting everything back up, it's been an absolute treat. I didn't even have to move to Windows 11.

Why Dell feels the need to put 7TB of garbage, including literal adware that spews notifications, escapes me. All it does is hurt their reputation.

I would have been allowed to build my own from scratch, but I didn't even ask since it's been so long since I built my last machine and I don't even know where to start hardware wise these days.

12th gen i7

GTX1080 that has all the video memory I could need

RAM just pouring out of the thing

I'm living the life.

Data scientist: we need to whitelist a pod to connect to a database
Me: Whitelist? We don't use whitelists on private databases
DS: It's the new data warehouse database
Me: is it on <X> VPC?
DS: I'm not sure what that means but its ip is <real world ipv4>
Me: Are you hosting a publicly accessible database with all our end users information?!
DS: ...
Me: There goes our SOC2 audit controls...
DS: how long until you can white list it?
Me: I won't be whitelisting it. You need to put it on a private VPC and peer with the cluster, you'll have to rebuild all the Terraform and redeploy
DS: We didn't use Terraform because it takes too long, just white list the pods IP.
Me: No. I'm contacting the CISO and CTO...

Okaaay.....so after I got fucked at the technical interview i returned there the following day and wrote them code for a system that was actually on their pipeline
Left the thing 80% complete and they were like: Amaizing we will be in touch
And I left bouncing

Kerbal Space Program: Kiki Edition, where you explore the abyss of your deep personal trauma instead of outer space

I love spending hours to get trivial SSH to work

7,62? Is it Texan time?

do you know: victoria's secret higher ranking executive from scranton, pa was a lesbian who humped women prostitutes and since has been replaced by one of your pod people.

but the song from this time period about victoria's secret, is kind of funny, since one of the higher level executives was a woman and apparently enjoyed young women in lingerie as much as men do :P

I just love it when the debugger integration into the IDE breaks for no good reason.

I also love that the github issue about it was closed for inactivity. Because problems magically disappear if no one screams "same issue here" for long enough.
Fuck you too