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- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.
- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?
- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?
- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.18 -
so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable40 -
Not one feature.
All analytics systems in general.
Whether it's implementing some tracking script, or building a custom backend for it.
So called "growth hackers" will hate me for this, but I find the results from analytics tools absolutely useless.
I don't subscribe to this whole "data driven" way of doing things, because when you dig down, the data is almost always wrong.
We removed a table view in favor of a tile overview because the majority seemed to use it. Small detail: The tiles were default (bias!), and the table didn't render well on mobile, but when speaking to users they told us they actually liked the table better — we just had to fix it.
Nokia almost went under because of this. Their analytics tools showed them that people loved solid dependable feature phones and hated the slow as fuck smartphones with bad touchscreens — the reality was that people hated details about smartphones, but loved the concept.
Analytics are biased.
They tell dangerous lies.
Did you really have zero Android/Firefox users, or do those users use blocking extensions?
Did people really like page B, or was A's design better except for the incessant crashing?
If a feature increased signups, did you also look at churn? Did you just create a bait marketing campaign with a sudden peak which scares away loyal customers?
The opinions and feelings of users are not objective and easily classifiable, they're fuzzy and detailed with lots of asterisks.
Invite 10 random people to use your product in exchange for a gift coupon, and film them interacting & commenting on usability.
I promise you, those ten people will provide better data than your JS snippet can drag out of a million users.
This talk is pretty great, go watch it:
https://go.ted.com/CyNo6 -
Saw my uncle using Microsoft Edge today.
Me: Uncle, you should use Chrome or Firefox. They are better.
Uncle: Windows 10 showed a pop up few days back that chrome drains battery faster. So I uninstalled chrome.
Me: But Windows is fooling you to use its product. Edge is horrible and useless.
Uncle: So you think you are smarter than Windows people? Are they idiots who designed this whole software?
Microsoft u got 1 more Edge user. Enjoy, you lying and misleading company.28 -
2 hours, maybe 2.5.
No one works for more than that, it's not how brains work. Or bodies for that matter, you gotta pee eventually.
OK maybe I'm pedantic and shouldn't count breaks... But then where lies the threshold? A fifteen minute coffee break? An hour long lunch break?
Could we use scrum storypoints to brag then (I once finished 12 points in a day!) — not really, because they're not standardized units of work.
Lines of code then? Well, the dev who copy pastes Java classes would beat the guy adjusting a dense Python script, without necessarily doing more.
No, the only true measure is of course grams of amphetamine per week, and in that metric I win from everyone.
😂😅😶😣😓😟😖😧😵😰🚑16 -
You what's been pissing me off this week. The press and social media coverage of this Google guy's gender memo.
Almost every outlet has him saying:
"Women are inferior coders because of their biology"
He ABSOLUTELY does not say this anywhere. He only states that basically less women are attracted to the industry. He doesn't comment at all on the quality of the Women who do go into tech.
It astonishes me the utter ignorance of the media and how they can just print these ignorant errors / lies.
I would wager that most if not all of them never even read his memo.
I am really fucked off by this social media keyboard warrior driven world we live in.
Apparently we value freedom of speech and freedom of expression above all else... UNLESS you say something that pisses off the social media justice warriors. In that case you will be publicly crucified and your life / career will be destroyed.
The annoying thing is in this particular case he didn't even say what they are saying he did.43 -
We had the most fucking retarded client today. No, seriously, if you ever beat their level you have a serious mental issue.
They had a mail problem for which they'd need to check at the side of another company since we don't have those fucking logs.
Their statements:
- they entered an email address In the text field of mail-tester.com and were furious that they didn't get the results sent.
Note: it says right on that page that YOU JUST NEED TO SEND THE EMAIL ADDRESS WHICH IS PRE-ENTRRED IN THAT TEXT FIELD AN EMAIL.
- their company has been a reputable 'conservative' company which hasn't done anything wrong since 19xx so the fact that they'd end up on a blacklist was FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS and bullshit.
- our support wasn't willing to help and only willing to tell them outrageous lies.
- the other it company was only reachable at a premium number and thus expensive to call.
Emails back and forth and finally they CC'd the other company. They're reply was fucking priceless:
"we never had a premium number. Feel free to call us on *number* any time during the week between *time* and *time*.
Then he told us that we should just go back to sleep.
It was way worse than that but due to privacy and my own memory this is all I can tell.
Just wow.3 -
Today I became a rubber duck debugger 🐤
I was leaving from office and spotted my senior collegue sitting glued to the screen solving an issue. I sat along with him to embark on a debug adventure. I casually asked him about the issue and what might cause it. After a bit of discussion *bam* he figured out where the problem lies and solved it in an instant.
Quack quack off I run 🐤5 -
Dear Android:
I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.
But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.
But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!
If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?23 -
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
*sigh*
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
I started this 2 hours ago. Last time I checked, that wasn't a moment.
8 -
Found this on discord.
Could be copypasta but I decided to share it anyway.
"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux."
The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you wont be for long."
With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.14 -
#2 Worst thing I've seen a co-worker do?
Back before we utilized stored procedures (and had an official/credentialed DBA), we used embedded/in-line SQL to fetch data from the database.
var sql = @"Select
FieldsToSelect
From
dbo.Whatever
Where
Id = @ID"
In attempts to fix database performance issues, a developer, T, started putting all the SQL on one line of code (some sql was formatted on 10+ lines to make it readable and easily copy+paste-able with SSMS)
var sql = "Select ... From...Where...etc";
His justification was putting all the SQL on one line make the code run faster.
T: "Fewer lines of code runs faster, everyone knows that."
Mgmt bought it.
This process took him a few months to complete.
When none of the effort proved to increase performance, T blamed the in-house developed ORM we were using (I wrote it, it was a simple wrapper around ADO.Net with extension methods for creating/setting parameters)
T: "Adding extra layers causes performance problems, everyone knows that."
Mgmt bought it again.
Removing the ORM, again took several months to complete.
By this time, we hired a real DBA and his focus was removing all the in-line SQL to use stored procedures, creating optimization plans, etc (stuff a real DBA does).
In the planning meetings (I was not apart of), T was selected to lead because of his coding optimization skills.
DBA: "I've been reviewing the execution plans, are all the SQL code on one line? What a mess. That has to be worst thing I ever saw."
T: "Yes, the previous developer, PaperTrail, is incompetent. If the code was written correctly the first time using stored procedures, or even formatted so people could read it, we wouldn't have all these performance problems."
DBA didn't know me (yet) and I didn't know about T's shenanigans (aka = lies) until nearly all the database perf issues were resolved and T received a recognition award for all his hard work (which also equaled a nice raise).7 -
So this guy is supposed to do the frontend.
I do the backend.
I offer an endpoint.
He does his HTML+CSS magic.
Me: Cool but data is hardcoded. Could you get the data from the endpoint I sent you?
Him: "I'd prefer you do that, I can make a git repo so you download the front."
... So you don't do frontend, you just write pretty layouts. And I have to actually write the frontend logic? Go f yourself.13 -
After interviewing 3 candidates for software today, I have officially decided its time to seriously pursue creating a YouTube channel with a complete set of series to learn programming MY WAY... not the short cut way... this will go all the way to beginning and start the person up with a solid foundation to build on... I’m going to pour my knowledge into these series.
The education system has failed too many in the real world... to many people I have interviewed they think they know have a degree but are clueless.. this is unacceptable and a waste... AND way too often I see online “learn programming in 30 days or learn programming in a day”... fuck off it’s all lies .. all wrong.. wrong methods wrong philosophy and I’m done with it...
I’m set on doing it this time, I’ve put it off too long, and longer I put it off the more I see shitty interviews! Time to fix it68 -
Claims to prefer developing on windows
Does all development in an ubuntu vm
....I see through your lies sir4 -
FUCK THE WORDPRESS ECOSYSTEM AND FUCK THE FUCKING ONE CLICK DEPLOYMENT LIES OH YES WITH WITH BITNAMI OFFERS YOU SHIT AND FUCK YOU FUCKK YOUUUU SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU MADE ME AN ANGRY AND SICK FUCK.6
-
LAST MINUTE:
The heavenly time window we're all thankfully entitled to!
Its where 90% of my productivity lies,
Its when 80% of my projects were developed,
Its when 'responsibility' synonymous to 'panic',
Its when i start to realise the dark and deep depths of the universe,
Its what gives me my purpose in life.2 -
April 30, 2058
GNU? Linux? Ha! How ancient! Everyone uses systemd-coreutils and systemd-kernel. Nobody needs those useless old programs. In fact, systemd is so good that even Microsoft recently released their own systemd distro, and adopted the motto: “We Really Do Love Open Source This Time”. To show their love for open source, they’ve released the source for Snipping Tool under a BSD license.
systemd is super lightweight! My system uses around 600 gigs of RAM, whereas Windows uses upwards of a terabyte! I currently use the systemd-gnome desktop environment. I used to use KDE Plasma 18, but it didn’t integrate well with the rest of my operating system. systemd-braininterface doesn’t work very well with my Nvidia graphics card, so I use systemd-x11 like a hipster.
I’ve had no regrets switching to systemd. I feel bad for those BSD nerds. What a laughing stock, sticking to POSIX. Nobody writes POSIX programs anymore.
I wonder what lies in the future for systemd... I hope they fix systemd-oomd.13 -
Let's see here, we have:
🤡 Creepy Cackle Guy: watches videos all day and cackles like a hyena, plus constantly farts, and complains a lot. He gets everyone gassed up, no pun intended.
😤Bitchy PM: argues with you about every little thing, lies to pad her metrics while screwing the dev's metrics over. Also lies about what clients say to force launch or what she feels client should do. Rude to clients & co-workers. Runs and tattles to higher ups when people call her out on her shit. Nobody can stand her, she get's the entire office upset.
🙉Darth Vader: I don't think this one needs explaining. He breathes SO freaking loud you can hear it across the room. He also won't talk to anybody. Ever.
🤐The Non-Stop Flapper: nice person, but chats you non stop about their mundane life events, even when your status is set to busy or they know you're swamped. Asks irrelevant questions all day, every day. Heart of gold but needs to reel in the chatting.
🤬 Mr.Rage: whines about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Has also thrown his food on me once over a joke about pizza. Wants to move up to programming but cant program.
---
So between them all, I scream on the inside daily. 🙊😫😢13 -
What was the biggest lies you heard about programming or programmers life.
Mine was: “programming is easy and high paying job.”
No it is not.12 -
I know this is not a dev joke, but I laughed so hard:
Father bought a lie detector that makes "beep" whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home this afternoon.
Father ask him:
"So, you where at school today, right ?"
Son:"Yeah"
Detector:"Beep."
Son:"OK, OK, I was in a cinema"
Detector:"Beep."
Son:"Alright, I went for a beer with my friends."
Father:"What ?! At your age I would never touch alcohol!"
Detector: "Beep."
Mother laughs:"Ha ha ha, he really is your son!"
Detector: "Beep."1 -
I don't mind if you down vote my answers on stack-overflow. But unless you leave a better answer or a comment explaining why, you are a fucking troll and an asshole.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD TAKE A BIG STEP BACK AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!!!!
You aren't helping me or others learn from our mistakes by showing us the better way.32 -
Project manager: We have 13weeks for this project. We have promised the client.
Me: okay, why wasnt I consulted on that commitment?
Project Manager: yeah.... we have to do it
Me: okay, if we have 2 dedicated backend and one full time frontend - ONLY on this project.
Project manager: (with the face of lies) yes yes sure we can do that.
6 weeks later, after continuous interruptions. Frontend is behind because he was only on the project to an amount of 2 weeks of the 6 weeks.
Project manager: Are we still on time?
Me: *looks around for prank cameras* no the f#*k we not
Project manager: can we put in weekends?
Me: its 2019 bro, that ain't happening
*But because I am a nice guy, and dont like taking Ls, we will have it ready. Just not gonna tell the project manager, he deserves a few sleepless nights *7 -
- If I buy x amount of ram | hard drive space | cpu power I will never need more.
- No need for version control | Tests. This is a small project
- git commit -m "changes" (its a small change. I will remember why I did it)
- It is too obvious that I put a lot of personal time in this so my boss will definitely notice!
- Why comment this simple method? Anyone should know what it does. Especially me!
- "this should never happen"
- This call can't be from work. Everyone knows I am on vacation.
- I will back up next week. It's not like it is going to crush today.
- It’s 11:30 already? I will work on this for only a half hour more and then I will definitely go to bed!
- This project will take x amount of time!2 -
Some 'wk306' highlights from different people:
Walk around the office in his underwear, because he forgot he left his trousers in the bathroom
Run a red light outside the office due to not wearing his required glasses. When questioned by co-workers, replied "I don't follow those facist rules"
Asking if we work less will we get paid more, because the project will take longer to do (while in a startup with no funding trying to secure some)
Tell a senior dev to stop testing in his spare time, as we won't be able to release on time if he keeps finding critical security bugs
Telling me "your timezone is not my concern", when asking for help with new tooling so we don't have to be online at the same time
Blaming my team for requesting too much help, leading to his team missing deadlines, in a meeting with very senior managers. When the reason we were requesting help was the handover doc we were given was filled with lies about features being finished and "ready to ship" and lacking any unit tests
Being accused of bullying and harassment to the CEO, because someone asked "did you follow up with X about the partnership they emailed us about". The person who was responsible, forgot 4 times, and saw it as an "attack" to mention it in team meetings
Telling an entire office/building mid November they've secured funding for at least the next year, then announcing in January after the Christmas break that its cheaper to move to India, so they are closing the office in 30 days2 -
[during a project discussion]
Client: We've been getting very low results on google lighthouse on the site
Me: The results are highly volatile, don't believe their lies
Client: *shares screen and runns lighthouse test*
Lighthouse test: 95
Me:
7 -
Me: So why did you drop the db?
Intern: I couldn't rename the Model I've just created.
Me: Your CV says you're a prolific Rails Dev.
Me: How many days you have left working here?
Intern: 3Months
Me: Just take 3 months off work.13 -
So we are a development company, we have some remote coders.
This one is very good coding BUT
Sometimes he disappears and then comes back with an history, the other day he said his grandpa was about to die of cancer so he had to go to see him.
Three days ago, he had to finish a landing page manager, in React. just a form and unzip (nodejs server side) the files... It was not so difficult.
He said was going to finish later that day.
Then he disappeared, for 3 days!
And i got a message from him on facebook saying he got robbed and he was going to rent a laptop to continue working.
Then i asked if he had any progress on the code before that happened. and he started sending
me screenshots of the code , but in one screenshot i was able to see a part of the desktop background. Checked on the history of files @ Slack and that was his background lol.
Please guys , don't do these kind of things.
If he had told me that he needed to study or something i would have understood him
Now i feel i cant trust him anymore.
Moral: Lies/attitudes like these one can have a big negative effect on your life and you will miss some big opportunities!10 -
That moment when you listen to your boss' lies to a client when presenting a new product/feature.
I am like: damn, this guy is a talented actor!3 -
I hate bullshit metrics, they are everywhere.
- 90% unlimited downloads (not unlimited then is it, dickface)
- you are 53% more likely to be noticed with a pro account (yeah, because you fucked with the algorithms)2 -
I was called over by a colleague. She needed help because her computer kept telling her that she did not have permission to run certain programs or access certain files.
She logged in to Windows in front of me. The first thing that I noticed that the username was her office email address. I asked her about it.
Me: Why is your username your email address?
Her: It was this way when I got it.
Me: That is impossible. I made every Windows installation here and I always use the same username which is [companyname] as it is our policy.
Her: I'm telling you, this is the way it was when I got it.
Me: Are completely sure?
Her: Well.... someone else must have renamed it.
Me: So someone fired up your laptop, used your password to log in and changed the username to your email?
Her: I don't understand it either. Is it possible that it happened accidentally, on its own?
Me: ...
Then I explained to her that changing the username on Windows 10 may result in problems with file permissions.
I am not mad because she didn't know about this. I am mad because of her idiotic lies.5 -
On my first dev job ever, I got sent to the client's office after studying CSS on my own for 2 weeks.
Client: "So, you're the great expert your manager told me about?"1 -
!dev
So the ceiling in our (upstairs) laundry room started leaking. After some troubleshooting, we determined it was the A/C, and not the water pipes. (The house is cheap as hell and fucking stupid.) We did some troubleshooting and research, and tried fixing it ourselves; no luck. Cleaning the pipes from outside: no joy. Cleaning the pipes from inside: no access. The attic is ... small. Maybe half a small closet? and doesn’t give access to fucking anything. The builders must have installed everything before putting up the walls and ceilings, sealing everything off, because there is no access. It’s fucking stupid. Also, the usual maintenance openings aren’t even there either because why the fuck would they be?
But fucking whatever.
We called an a/c repair guy, who never showed. We assumed he was busy (it’s fucking hot), so we called him again the next day; two days later he showed.
Busy. Whatever.
Guy didn’t bring a ladder. Whatever, we have one right there in the hallway because we’ve been trying in vain to fix it.
Guy didn’t bring a wrench of any kind. Guy didn’t bring a screwdriver. Guy didn’t bring a bucket. Guy didn’t bring any pipe. Or any pipe sealant. Or fucking anything but his sagging fucking pants, fat belly, and fat stench. We had to supply everything, which fortunately we had on hand as we were already trying to fix it. Hoorah for being proactive.
Guy said he drained both primary and secondary pans. Somehow. Without access. I’m not even convinced it HAS a secondary pan. Guy said he cleaned out the pipes, too. From inside the house. Without access. Somehow. Maybe he did that from outside, without tools, while I was chasing the brats and someone else was watching the fat bastard. Who knows; I wasn’t with him most of the time.
When he was done, the guy said “pay whatever you think it’s worth” (or whatever). Fine, if he actually cleaned the pipes out and it isn’t leaking anymore, that’s great.
Guy leaves.
We go up to check. AND THE FUCKING A/C IS STILL LEAKING. BUT NOW IT’S FROM BEFORE THE PIPES, TOO. AND HALF AN HOUR LATER, THE LAUDRY ROOM CEILING IS ALSO LEAKING, WHICH MEANS THE PIPES ARE STILL LEAKING.
It turns out the asshole broke the pan.
We call him back, he goes blah blah blah, we send him a video. Drip, drip, drip.
His response?
“The pan must be rusted.” IT’S FUCKING PLASTIC.
“Oh, in that case, it’s probably a rusted coil that’s leaking.”
a) HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW IT WAS FUCKING PLASTIC IF YOU DRAINED IT?
b) THE COILS CARRY FREON, NOT WATER, AND THE A/C IS STILL WORKING. IF THERE WAS A LEAK, SHIT WOULD BE HOT. AND RANK. FREON SMELLS NASTY AND DOESN’T CAUSE IT TO RAIN IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.
REPLACING A COIL IS ALSO A $2000 FUCKING REPAIR.
THE FAT BASTARD PROBABLY BROKE THE PAN INTENTIONALLY JUST TO UPSELL. I WANT TO FUCKING MURDER HIS LYING FUCKING FACE OFF.
It’s possible he didn’t break the pan intentionally, so I’ll tentatively remove that from his charges. BUT TO FUCKING LIE?
LIE AND DIE, FUCKER.7 -
Development plus laboratories is kind of my expertise, so I ended up in a little grimey HR office looking out over the factory floor of a cocoa processing facility. I was applying for an automation job, a temp thing for three weeks, updating some ugly scripts which took readings from machines and threw them into excel sheets.
"We don't think a developer like you has enough experience working in an environment like this. Safety and working in sterile conditions is very important to us"
I had sent them my certifications in advance, plus references to the work I did in a biosafety level 3 lab for JnJ and cleanroom work at an aerospace company.
There were fat sweaty guys on sneakers, taking cocoa paste samples right next to the window.
They ended up hiring a friend of mine with zero experience, for minimum wage.
Just be fucking honest, don't waste my time with courtesies and lies. If they had just told me about the low salary indication, I would still have done the work. I was in between jobs anyway, bored, trying to fill up some spare time.4 -
Common lies told by developers?
Here's one of mine: "It works on my screen".
I then proceed to ask them their specs while I think of the solution.6 -
THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.1 -
(possibly political, but not really)
I think there's an under-reaction culture around covid19. People are mitigating it to be "just a bad flu" and keep bringing up the 2-3% death rate.
I see that people may have good intentions but spreading lies just to make it seem like the virus isn't bad is worse than the media overreacting.
I'm tired of people just repeating the same "ugh, calm down, it's just the flu!" Just because they don't want people to worry. While panic isn't good, disregard is worse.
The "bad flu" stage is only the second of three stages. Stage one is minor symptoms (so nobody cares if they are sick at this stage) coupled with patients being highly infectious (you can imagine, this is a bad combo)
Stage two is of course the famous "bad flu".
Stage three is fucking respiratory issues including pneumonia, AFTER you have already gone through stage two, which can be rough on its own.
The CDC (not any media) has issued warnings to those at high risk to stock up on supplies and medication they may need. As usual for this sort of stuff, the elderly and those with pre-existing conditions are in the high risk groups.
2% death rate (low end) is one in 50 people. That could be someone you know. 4% (high end) is one in just 25 people. That's the average high school class size where I live. That's a lot, that's pretty deadly.
Stop calling it a bad flu. Stop listening to people on Facebook, CNN, and devRant. Please visit the CDC, they are constantly giving updates.
Stay smart27 -
Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?1
-
Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!
Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!
Stop the lies!!!5 -
What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.20 -
My company relocated us to the UAE. They said all hotel expenses till we get our apartments will be on them. In addition, they will be giving us a 4k relocation bonus to furnish our apartments.
After the first batch was relocated they were like, ok so we will be deducting all expenses / hotel fees from your relocation bonus. You will also not get the salaries until we get residencies and are able to open bank accounts.18 -
My company is looking for a new React FE.
Just got a response to the add...
"I have 10 years experience with react and styled components."9 -
When I saw that the Zuckman was gonna go testify for congress I already knew that shit was gonna be retarded.
I had 0 expectations of congress asking the correct questions.
I was still disappointed. That is the beauty of my government. I have 0 expectations and they still disappoint me.
I love playing the devil's advocate. I really do, in this case and even tho I think Facebook is the most toxic shit on the internet (right next to SO) I could not help it but think the entire time that we aaaare told that all our date are belongs to them as soon as we put shit on their application. Its just the nature of the beast. Don't like it? Don't use it! But if you are gonna use it then account for the fact that your data will be used for targeted adds. It makes more sense, I would rather have an add for tutorials and books and shit like i normally get rather than knowing that 10 hot singles are in my area (because those are all lies 9 times out of 10) but then again I would rather not have any adds at all.
One has to account for all the money that fb pours into shit, where do people think fb makes that money from ..duh our data and adds. But shit was too hard to understand for Congress.8 -
If living and working in the UK wasn't hard enough as is for a student. This now happens and has, pretty much, screwed everything over.
Promoted lies, PM stepping down, value of pound dropping.
All going great! ☺️🔫4 -
Manager: Hey, what you working on?
Me: cough-finding another team-cough.
Manager: I didn't catch that.
Me: Sorry my throat is acting up today, i've been bug fixing all day.
Manager: Ah great, thanks.1 -
Code never lies
Comments sometimes do
Nah!
Code lies too, especially when you train a neural network 😂😂 -
Every time I see a cringe job post like this I internally scream hard. There, fixed it for them 🫡
15 -
devRant Q&A: What is the biggest lie in technology?
My favourite is: OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA9 -
So I fucked up.. I assigned a small wordpress/woocommerce project to myself to avoid my team members from wasting their time on it. I had a two month deadline, which was insane, so I kept postponing it until I forgot about it. Today my client contacted me by email to ask if she could preview the site before our meeting in two weeks..
QUE BULLSHIT EXCUSE:
- “I had to migrate to another server because of some access/permission issues with my current host. They gave me their word that they would be done with the migration thursday or friday, then I have to correct some permissions and database settings, and the DNS update may take up to 24 hours to finish. I will personally make sure that you know as soon as the migration has finished.”
- “Thank you so much! I feel so safe having assigned your company the job! I am really looking forward to our meeting and seeing the site!”
Oh and did I mention that deadline was around 65 days ago? And that I haven’t even started yet? I know what I’ll be doing for the next 6 days..3 -
> Johnny Johnny
> Yes Papa!
> Using Java?
> No Papa!
> Telling lies?
> No Papa!
> Open your mouth
> NullPointerException
Ref :
https://youtu.be/F4tHL8reNCs6 -
Teacher: The exam subjects will be entirely from what we worked in class.
Narrator: The exam subjects will not be even close to what they worked in class.2 -
Idiot people...
Today someone asked me how long I programmed for iOS, Told him I started really mastering iOS development since Swift was released, as I didn’t really focus on Objective C. He told me if I need any help, just ask him as he develops for iOS since two decenia... He calls himself a Senior web developer. First of all what has web development to do with iOS? And how the f*** can he program for iOS if it didn’t exist at that time.
It’s not because I’m a student I’m that thumb...
learnt the lesson not to believe everything everyone sais.9 -
User: "Why isn't this process updated? There's something wrong with your system."
Me: "Did you submit the request?"
User: "Uh yeah I'm sure I did..."
Me: "Go submit the request again." (they never did the first time)
User: "I don't know how. Will you show me?" *shows user how to do it* "Ok I did it now."
Me: "You did it wrong, you need to resubmit it."
User: "Ok I resubmitted it."
* a week later *
User: "The process still hasn't shown any progress."
Me: "You didn't resubmit it like you said you did."
User: "Will you show me how to do it again?"
* fuck me *
Me: "Sure..."
Process works as expected and everyone lives happily ever after, except the developer that knows it is just a matter of time till the next user blatantly lies, has no respect for anyone's time, and demonstrates a complete lack of desire to care about their job at all and just wants to bitch and complain like a typical lazy ass-hat.6 -
Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...10
-
We share a fate, trapped on a page by the author of our world’s demise. In your eyes I see the pain, your targets slain, I will be the whispers in your mind, the demon inside.
Don’t let down your guard, let in the darkness. You will defeat this trial of ancient gods. Take me in spirit, demon adherent. When you’re the last one to survive. Spirit, stay gentle, next monumental. Will you keep the fire alive?
I, with the power inside, set an end to these lies from the deep and the quiet. Sleep, my old enemy, let an end come to me. traveler please let me fade.10 -
Some years ago i was getting some dev training at a medical analysis company. They made a performance report at the end. And well, they sent out the report to my employer before actually discussing it with me. Which would be ok if it wasnt horseshit and full of blatant lies. Apparantly they confused me with someone else. Atleast it got corrected in the end.
Some weeks ago i heard they were heavily sued by swissmedic. An org supervising all medical products within Switzerland capable of shutting down entire companies and hospitals for medical malpractice. Apparantly they fucked up programming a cleaning cycle when running a series of samples trough their machine. Hospitals reported this issue but they ignored it. I guess they had it coming. -
“PHP is evil” is not just a joke.
PHP is usually percieved as a language which is not so consistent and has some opinionated historical aspects but allows rapid development because it’s easy. They say PHP doesn’t focus on that “purist shit” such as concepts and “just gets things done”.
Hovewer, this is not true. PHP lures you in and lies to you promising saving time on development, but everything, and I mean EVERYTHING written in PHP is doomed to turn into a bloody mess sooner or later.
You have to be an AI to manage the growing PHP codebase and add features without breaking anything. With every feature it gets harder and harder. If you’re still a human managing a human team, you have to enforce guidelines. Automatic error preventon measures are made of code themselves so the cost of deploying them ona late stage can be ridiculous. And you never deploy them on early stage because you want to “save time”. Your people have to spend more and more time everyday checking on that guidelines. Your development process only becomes slower and slower. If you try to push things, your project will crumble to dust.
To make PHP at least decent, you have to figure out all this by yourself on an early stage. When you’re done, you spent a lot of time creating the buggy, ad-hoc, unspecified and unsupported alternative of what works out of the box in other languages. And you still code in PHP and still have all its disadvantages in your project’s DNA.
PHP is evil because it promises and never delivers. PHP is evil because it lies to you and it already fucked over so many of us.
If you want to code in PHP, do it under your pillow. Code your own silly projects.
If your project has the word “production” somewhere in its plans, PHP is not the way to go.
Amen.66 -
So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...
Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"10 -
Ok... So iPhone X cames with 3gb ram and 2.7 mAh battery....
Fuck the new Xiami that costs 1/4 comes with 4gb ram and a 4mAh battery...6 -
>work on multi million dollar company
>last year "we were doing fine" until we got told "well, turns out we didn't, no bonus this year"
>people leave
>You'll get a bonus next year for sure
>Company cuts expenses such as training budgets and freezes raises and promotions
>People still leave
>There are whole teams that are now left with 1-3 people, lol
>Turns out we will not get any bonuses this year either, except for "the high achievers", but they have not announced it yet
>high achievers include the evp of engineering who single handedly destroyed the company's DevOps department last year and an EM/engineer who is completely incompetent as both an engineer as well as a manager, so much so that the company has made him his own 1-person-department so that he doesn't have to work with other people
>Upper management keeps telling us everything is going fine and they suck each other's d**k
This is like watching a trainwreck in slow motion lmao.
I'll stay till they announce this year's bonuses to watch the shit show and then I'll leave17 -
I (don't) like how some people say "If your code needs comments, your code is probably ugly and should be rewritten".
Well, asshats. You have never considered complex calculations/functions or "temporary" workarounds, right?
Sometimes, you have to do it in a not-very-readable way for efficiency. There is no way around that in that case, and comments that either explain the code below or provide alternative, slower code that's commented really help others understand your code.
If I ever work with you and you don't bother commenting your code at all (or rather use slow code because more efficient code doesn't appeal to your "muh code dun need comments" approach), I will hate you.6 -
Guy sees me on my laptop and says "is that Linux?". I say yes then he says he is into computer "stuff and can hack anything". Not having a clue what that means I replied with a "awesome".
I don't have really any friends that are into "computers", so I decided to play ball.
I asked, "Are you into coding?.. he says, "Yes". Then I ask, " What languages?" He says, " Just what ever, anything really, it depends on what I am doing."
At this point I understand what is going on but it is so awkward. He continues.. "Recently I used.. what's it called abd or adb, you know I like rooted my phone"...
And let's talk about something else....
Why do people feel the need to lie or whatever you might call what happened. It might be different I think if he wasn't about 40.
I feel like this is a pretty common story2 -
I know political stuff isn’t appreciated here. Still this needs to be said— Elon Musk. Your mums a hoe. Deal with it. And these are the people who are being advertised as “success figures” to the youth. The current youth must wake up from this sea of lies, for the sake of humanity.
14 -
Ok, im officially at the point where I can say this and I don’t say it lightly.. I’m really unhappy..
It’s hard for me to be happy anyway but being unhappy is not the same as not being happy IMO..
I’m so angry, especially at the western governments but also at the western society for making everything down that we’ve built over hundreds of years..
I’m socially pretty conservative I’d say. I have my values and manners which are very important to me. I try to be kind, diplomatically correct, hard working and honest but people sh!t all over that. Almost on a daily basis people tell me to “just lie”, it’ll solve the problem or to blame someone else.
What happened to work for what you want? And to “Be honest and loyal and it will pay off”? It’s more like the opposite nowadays..
Lie to everyone you can, cheat your way through every conflict and try as hard as you can to be a victim and all will work out…?
My boss had an interview ihr a grad student and she caught him googling stuff, trying to hide it. I told her to not even consider him but she thought he “deserves” another chance..
someone who applies and lies “deserves”??? You don’t DESERVE anything, you EARN it.. if you can’t earn it then sorry but this job is probably not for you.. not to mention that this guys CV was full of crap..
I just wanna find a woman, buy a farm an go off grid for a couple of years 😅 oh wait.. that’s legally not possible in pretty much any European country.11 -
I just told my director that the solution for a particular problem that we have involves Machine Learning. For which I had already applied a VERY small app to make sense of an old database to make a NEW one since the old one broke every notion of how a db is supposed to be set (meaning that I recreated the project from scratch)
And on the same message I told him that I was not willing to do it using M.L since I was not paid enough to bring this level of heat to the institution.
Normalize telling mfkers that your skills are worth more.
I am paid well, but not enough to out of the blue tell mfkers that my ml based algo can save them./
Fuck em, fuck em hard, fuck em good, fuck em without even using spit.
I don't do this shit because I am paSSiOnate, since there lies the trap: "I mean, I love it so I guess I can do it, I do this on my free time either way" <---- no bitch, shit is expensive on the real world, don't do that wtf is the matter with you? *slaps* companies don't see it as a: "oh shit, employee X can do this! value!" they see it as "greaaaaat, I can save money on this", so fuck em.
Normalize it, y'all are wizards, advisors of kings, no company today survives without I.T. About motherfucking time y'all bitches take this shit by the horns and do with it what you want.
People form third world countries that need work: shit don't apply to you, currently, but we will make it apply to you on the rising, my kings, stay strong.4 -
New boss gets us to work overtime, all weekend and till 9pm. Promising that we will get that time back.
We get the project through the door. His KPI looks great to his boss. He then slithers his way around hints about this time back. Someone confronted him today and he says he can't officially recognise the over time due to company policy. The fucker.9 -
I am going to post cryptic ass shit on y'alls shit that gives over a fake sense of me knowing what I am talking about in terms of faking my credentials from working on big companies and having tons of knowledge of software development in an effort to convince you all in of my credentials to get massive upvotes by making you all think I am intellectually and technologically superior to you in multiple senses! I will use a thesaurus for this btw! not my general day to day speech! after all, it will give my fake ideals of credibility more success and acceptance! remember! i worked for all companies starving kids in different parts of the world did! nothing but my word for it!
Some people really need to consider the shit they read online from people that have been caught bullshitting all the time.
9/10 your shit is good enough, stop letting phonies make you feel inadecuate over their supposed success in this works ffs16 -
meme says python lives on land because it is above c-level but was developed in amsterdam which is below sea level
stop reposting lies.1 -
I am a person who never lies. And when I see/hear others lie, be it for the benefit of mine or not, it gets my blood boiling. I disrespect liers with passion.
And I particularly hate magic fixes at work. You know the ones, when smth is not working for a few weeks, you involve 3 other teams responsible for their tiers, and then one day suddenly everything starts working. When you ask all the 3 tiers what has been done - everyone says "nothing".
If you do this bullshit to me, just know that everytime I remember you, before remembering your name/face/role I very vividly visualize pissing on your toothbrush right before you wake up.
Or did I do that for real..? Idk, it's too vivid to distinguish2 -
What good is a developer focused avatar WITH NO NECKBEARD!!! This is heresy, damnit. I demand a neckbeard on the next patch or we riot! Nobody is that cleanly groomed, these avatars are all lies.6
-
For the last 4-5 months the boss hasn't paid our wages complete. Since then he has promised over and over that he will pay all that he owes us, and we (most of us, anyway, the smart ones already leave) like fools believed in him.
The boss still is lying to us, the same lies over and over (i think he believes them himself)
YOU FOOL, NOBODY BELIEVES YOUR LIES, SHOW ME THE MONEY. DAMMIT!
I'll leave the job and very posibly sue him at the end of this month. Took me long enough. I'm not a smart man...5 -
I just tried Quantum and Chrome at my school libraries computer (4GB RAM).
Seriously?
Both times I tried opening my website (only one tab) and besides Quantum not even showing my website but a white loading circle... Here are both RAM usages..
20 -
Startup-ing 101, from Fitbit:
- spy on users
- sell data
- cut production costs
- mutilate people's bodies, leaving burn scars that will never heal
- announce the recall, get PR, and make the refund process impossibly convoluted
- never give actual refunds
- claim that yes, fitbit catches fire, but only the old discontinued device, just to mess with search results and make the actual info (that all devices catch fire) hard to find
- try hard to obtain the devices in question, so people who suffered have no evidence
- give bogus word salad replies to the press
This is what one of the people burned has to say:
"I do not have feeling in parts of my wrist due to nerve damage and I will have a large scar that will be with me the rest of my life. This was a traumatic experience and I hope no one else has to go through it. So, if you own a Fitbit, please reconsider using it."
Ladies and gentlemen, cringefest starts. One of fitbit replies:
"Fitbit products are designed and produced in accordance with strict standards and undergo extensive internal and external testing to ensure the safety of our users. Based on our internal and independent third party testing and analysis, we do not believe this type of injury could occur from normal use. We are committed to conducting a full investigation. With Google's resources and global platform, Fitbit will be able to accelerate innovation in the wearables category, scale faster, and make health even more accessible to everyone. I could not be more excited for what lies ahead".
In the future, corporate speech will be autogenerated.
(if you wear fitbit, just be aware of this.)
14 -
!rant
OK, I have a dilemma and I need some developers helps. I'm going to tell you about myself. I am 19 and have been programming since I was 11. I consider myself a full stack web developer and that is where my passion lies... I love web development. The problem is that I am currently studying comp sci at a top 10 uni and I don't really like it. I kind of enjoy it, however, I am mostly doing it for the degree because my goal is to move to the valley (currently in the UK). I'm not sure whether I should pursue this degree because it's interesting and tbh I might just need time to get used to uni life or should I just go for it in the industry?6 -
[Update: https://devrant.com/rants/4425480/...]
So had a 1:1 with my manager today followed by 1:1 with lead.
I did bring up the topic that I felt a little insecure about being sacked.
Both of them reassured me multiple times that losing my job would be the last of the last things. We have so much work and going through a resource crunch to keep up with the pace.
There are still many things I have to learn here. I am glad that my proactive-ness has always helped me learn faster and better. This way, I was also able to offer a helping hand to my manager by saying if they need any help on the transitioning, I am will to take extra on my plate until we have a replacement.
A bumpy ride ahead for sometime but surely manager is impressed with the speed at which I ramped up and willingness to go beyond.
Overall, I see this as a good opportunity to step into the lime light, build an amazing product from scratch in a publicly traded company, and a good good chance to relocate to EU when I show them good results with my performance.
Overall, sky looks brighter but sea will be a little rough for some time.4 -
C++ tough me that having 2 or 3 friends is ok in some situations, but its best to avoid them when possible.
Also, you cannot have friends outside of class.4 -
I used to collect rubber ducks back in college. I was absolutely crazy about it and tried getting my hands on almost all different types available like the Punk duck, the Pirate duck, the Weed duck....and so on.
I met this girl who was into the same thing and we ended up banding together to create a sort of webpage where we'd write crazy and hilarious origin stories for each of these ducks. We'd go to great lengths to create ridiculous comic book style encounters between them and had a lot of fun doing it.
We dated for a while but it didn't last.2 -
My deepest regret is believing lies about OOP, during my education.
1. It is the best way to model a software, easier to think about objects and relationships: no it is not.
2. It increases reusability: I have seen people invwnting base classes to justify.
Are there any lies you regret believing that you believed during your education?12 -
Get back to work today, see a mail from yesterday when I was off sick
"Mr Colleague has tendered his registration. His last day with Company will be 31st Jan 2024"
Do they think we're stupid or something? We all know the guy got sacked. We're required to give a calendar month's notice. So when there's a same day resignation, we all know7 -
Can somebody please explain to my boss that using a progressive loading bar when you've got no metrics to base the progression on is stupid. Pls.3
-
In Germany we have something called "Rundfunkbeitrag" (aka GEZ-Gebühr a long time ago).
The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is something that you have to pay for even if you don't own a TV, watch TV, listen to a radio station etc and consume ARD, ZDF and Deutschlandradios' radio services and online services (as in news sections for example).
That's pure scam.
The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is basically broadcast contribution.
Is there any country that is not forcing you to pay for something you don't own and/or consume?
I, for one, don't watch TV, never consume their services and don't listen to radio. There are better alternatives.
We, as a society, will even pay for the amount of air we breathe in and out in the future. That might sound like bullshit to you, but just take a look around yourself and face the reality for once. We get scammed from all sides, don't we?
How unlikely can that be to happen in the future?
We literally get gang banged with "GDPR", "Imprint", "Rundfunkbeitrag", "Media lies (rather subjective)" and other things in Germany.
---
Again, if there are better alternatives let me know.21 -
You may be familiar with work philosophy known as "they pretend to pay us, we pretend to work."
Or a favorite of mine "in this together" and passove aggressive work place signs about safety, inbetween being told to operate machines that have faulty safety mechanisms and almost took a guys forearm off last week, when the machine was supposed to be locked out.
Also dont let them blather on about being a "family", or any of the worse horseshit they spew.
I knew a women who would take those "hang in their" and other inspirational posters and burn cigarette holes in the eyes.
I didn't understand what her motive was then but now I know she was a revolultionary, a visionary even.
It's all lies. It's all "Human resources" department brand managament by neurotic executives and glorified coffee secretaries with 100k student debts for degrees in "humanities"--while lacking any humanity themselves, let alone brains or a soul.
And in between an army of overpaid middle and district managers, checking for the fifth time that day, if you have finished that tps report, or that ONE task you just started or finished. As if a little internal robot timer has told them, not that a task needs managed, but that the task, having been started and done, awaits their preternatural ability to know, and arrive 'just so', and justify (barely) the continued existence of their mediocre job and their mediocre lives.
And out of the woodwork of generations, like a horde of oblivious fuckwit melonheads, comes a tidal wave of these brush-mustached fucks, speaking in aphorisms and happy turns of phrase, while people increasingly dont show up to work be cause inflation has all but destroyed the future so many saved and worked for.
And the shelves gradually empty.
And the wheels grind slowly to a halt.
Because we will not accept the bullshit anymore about being in it together.
Not when a floor guy makes 15k a year, and a district manager makes 120k.
Raise your wages, or say good by.
We were never in this together.3 -
When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...1 -
OK Mr CEO/President whatever self aggrandizing title you want to call yourself today, where the fuck is your spine! You want to have support help boost your sales but don't tell sales that you are letting support handle some sales and sales is mad. Now you are quivering under the thumb of the Lead of Sales. What the hell. You are the leader of this company.
Why did you not stand up for your decision to begin with? I'm not going to get into whether or not it was good, but if you are going to make a decision to experiment with new things fucking stand by it and let everyone in the company know.
You've exacerbated the division between departments and ton this company further apart. If you don't start standing up for things, you are going to destroy all that you've helped build! Furthermore, I will not simply be your loyal vassal and watch all the people doing support for my products get fucked over. I will leave you high and dry if needed. I really hope you don't make it needed. You gave me a great shot to be honest, I'd hate to have to turn my back on you in anger. But don't think for a second I won't do it.
Your entire programming department has also been put in the cross fire of a fight you just made so much worse. You are the only one who can clean this up. Are you going to stand up for us? Are you gonna stand up for your self? Or will you just break and show us where the real power lies? We will find out soon.2 -
A few days after the vacation, daddy (me) finally finished copying all the photos from the digital camera to the big external hard drive. Left it lying in the living room, in the corner where all the tech stuff frequently lies. In come my boys, and I'm not sure why, they start plugging power supplies around. Unfortunately the one from the laptop fit into the hole on the external disk, but had a different (higher) voltage. Result: 1 fried hard drive, containing all the baby photos and videos of said boys up that time.
I still believe that it's only the circuit board that is fried, and the data is still all there. I still have the hope to find a used disk, replace the board and all will be back.5 -
I always read the full job description whenever there's a job hiring.
I have a keen eye in some job description that this company is a red flag.
"Must have 4 years of experience in Blazor or other related web development"
"Be a multitasker"
"Must have experience in frontend web development using Figma or other prototyping tools"2 -
!dev
I had semi-jokingly changed my username from dextel2 to nothappy, because of that one bad day.
But, it is now when I realized that I am actually NOT HAPPY, things are lately rough, I am constantly scared for no reason, I doubt my skills, I doubt myself for no reason, and top of that there's always a chance for another epileptic attack.
I tried and keep trying to distract myself from negative thoughts but the more I try the more I fail, I've become distant with my younger brother, for the record I'm very overprotective about him. I don't even know if he feels the same, as this year ends or every day passes by I feel changed from my past self (not in a good way).
Switched my first job to get another good job, turns out they don't even have any projects and I'm just a guy they are showcasing like they have ONE amateur developer and we are looking for an entire project and it did work for one client which I'm gonna deny personally because the client is not clear about the project itself, I do not care about the consequences, my heart lies in academics and I'll put my 100% in academics, shall I'm kicked.
A lot has happened in this year, but this one is/was unique and very hard to process. I've always been joyful, sarcastic, funny, you name it, but all of it has just vanished, don't know why. I'm also becoming distant from my ONLY 3 friends and parents.8 -
So I am interning at this company, and I am Coding in Go.
Now I don't have much exp with go so I'm learning it, and all of my team is cool cause they also had to learn Go. Anyways I am just petty intern-dev so everyone and everything is cool.
Migrating from python to go is quite hard.
Unlearn, You must.
What I have imagined Go, to be is:
While python has this top down approach to inheritance and polymorphism, Go has bottom up approach.
In Python child classes are derived from parent class but In Go child classes create a parent class. (this might be totally wrong, but that's how I've imagined golang)
Go is static wrt dynamic python.
I have coded in C for 1.5 years then I switched to python, so I feel that am familiar with static typing. The path that lies ahead of me shouldn't be too hard.
I would like to take a step further and say that Golang is C, but with modern syntax/semantics. It derives many of its features from newer langs like js, Python, etc while being a compiled language which translated directly to machine code.
That's all 😊
My team members are really great and supportive, I am about 10 years younger than them but we still connect and sync.
Everything is Great, Life is Good ❤️2 -
Oh so you have a merge conflict this weekend? The only time of the week I try not to think of ripping your nob off, tying a noose around your neck with it and drowning you in a well full of piranhas? Right, right...
How about you take that dick that you've been trying to locate since you were 5 and practice choking on it every day till you die just so you have enough experience to suck demon dongs in hell for eterniity! I seriously hope you die of cancer you fucking wankstain!
How about you go home and keep disappointing that whore of a wife of yours, you know that stinking pile of shit that you stick your dick in every two weeks?1 -
Wooo hoo! I got suspended from reddit!
Never happened before to me (not site wide at least). Apparently for 'report abuse' from some report I must have made like a month ago?
Some user posting in a sub apparently had a theory that a bunch of other subs and other users were in on some conspiracy against them, supposedly sending death threats and 'spreading lies'.... kinda hard to imagine that some subs with thousands (some with millions) of users are all in on this wonky conspiracy against them....
So anyway I report his nasty little post to the local moderators of that sub because it usually is a chill sub and his post is full of insults and so on.
Turns out... that guy is also a mod of the sub I reported him to.
A month later I get suspended from reddit for 'report abuse'... of course I can't see the 'report abuse' (can't see reports...) so how do you even speak intelligently / appeal?
Moderation at scale is hard, but kinda crazy to think someone employed at reddit decided "yeah this crazy guy is right" and does their bidding ...
I used to moderate a busy gaming forum, and sniffing out the crazy folks was part of the job when accepting new moderators. Wasn't that hard...
Granted no big loss here, just a few days.9 -
So today a Windows sysadmin told me the Registry is a part of Windows he "doesn't know so well" 😂 and the worst part is the faith of about 1000 users lies in his hands 🤦♂️8
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The place I currently work at has got this culture of ignoring developers.
Deadlines get made by 3rd parties and project managers who don't have the technical nounce or experience of our system to make a call on deadlines.
Demos of products are arranged without a discussion with developers as to whether said component will be ready on that date.
3rd parties make decisions about future architecture, offer to assist, then disappear for days on end, to only come back and make out as though they've not been holding us up.
Upper management take no interest, don't listen to the people they pay to do a job.
Currently just moved a PHP web app into a multi tenant scalable EBS environment, but apparently it's not worth asking our view on technical aspects of the business before the shit hits the fan.
Lies to clients about documentation and policies, for example, claims from Sales we have a DR and BCP plan, client called is out, they sent a 2 paragraph A4 document to the client claiming it was our DR and BCP plan without talking to anyone technical, including myself who has years of DR experience. Embarrassing.
Could go on, but rant over.1 -
Here we are, three years later. Our system breaks down at the slightest load. An architecture is hardly recognizable anymore. The code consists of methods that have been refactored beyond recognition. The so-called architects came and went, leaving behind an ever-growing fiasco. Wrong decisions are concealed, criticism of them dismissed as ignorance. Our clients are on the verge of having us all killed. Daily crisis meetings are the norm. The remaining developers skulk around the unmaintainable code like emaciated ghosts. Everyone who has even the slightest chance to escape takes a parachute. Our dailies are made up of lies to cover up yesterday's lies. Our Mondays have become days of dread, because that's when the weekend disaster news has to be analyzed. Yet there are still developers who turn a blind eye. Who recommend this and that workaround in a good-humored tone. The code consists only of workarounds. Sarcasm has replaced any normal discussion. Reasonable suggestions on how to basically refactor the whole thing are rejected for cost reasons. In the process, our entire budget is eaten up by maintenance costs. Middle management should be put up against the wall. Why am I still here? This deceptive feeling that one could still turn the tide. This is eating me up.2
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Hey guys! lambda is amazing! Docker containers! They said the whole amazing point with containers is that they run the same everywhere! Except not really, because lambda 'containers' are an abomination of *nix standards with arbitrary rules that really don't make sense! That's ok though, you can push your shit to fargate, then it will work more like those docker containers you know and love and can run locally! Oh wait! fargate is a pain in the ass x 2 just to setup! You want to expose your REST api running on a container to the world? well ha, you'd better be ready to spend literally 2 weeks to configure every fucking piece of technology that every existed just to do that!!!! it's great, AWS, i love it, i'm so fucking big brained smart!!!
give me a break.... back in my day you'd set up an nginx instance, put your REST / websocket / graphQL service whatever behind it, and call it a day!!!!!!!
even with tools like pulumi or terraform this is a pain in the ass and a half, i mean what are we really doing here folks
way too complicated, the whole AWS infrastructure is setup for companies who need such a level of granularity because they have 1 billion users daily... too bad there are like 5 companies on the planet who need this level of complexity!!!!!!!
oh, and if your ego is bashed because of this post, maybe reread it and realize you're the 🤡
i'm unhappy because i was lied to. docker containers are docker containers, until they aren't. *nix standards are *nix standards, until they aren't
bed time.12 -
When people say that Gen Z is fucked, I used to scoff at them thinking it's not that bad as they make it out to be.
But I've witnessed it first hand now, it's real. Totally real. I only spoke about my salaries in my resume video and people are actually thanking me for telling the truth.
They're soooo used to getting told lies to, that someone even speaking a little bit truth is mind blowing to them. It breaks my heart, honestly.3 -
I'm about to lose my freaking mind on intellij. Ran my tests yesterday and everything was good. I added a new method and a new test case today and suddenly no tests are found. Well they didn't go anywhere!! "Class not found, empty test suite" ... Lies! I've been messing with configurations for over an hour now. I just want to run my tests...1
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Reply to a recruiter today quoting her email:
You will end up with more qualified people if you don't use blatantly fictitious statements like. "While it's not often that I like to email people I don' t know (especially those in different cities!)" You're a recruiter using LinkedIn, the activity of recruiting is partially doing exactly the above.
No interest, have a good day. -
How do we feel about documentation?
Fucking lies, lies and more lies.
If you are not going to keep it accurate don’t even fucking write it down you goddamn morons!
I would rather look at the source code then be led down the garden path by your fucking lies.5 -
So for those of you keeping track, I've become a bit of a data munger of late, something that is both interesting and somewhat frustrating.
I work with a variety of enterprise data sources. Those of you who have done enterprise work will know what I mean. Forget lovely Web APIs with proper authentication and JSON fed by well-known open source libraries. No, I've got the output from an AS/400 to deal with (For the youngsters amongst you, AS/400 is a 1980s IBM mainframe-ish operating system that oriiganlly ran on 48-bit computers). I've got EDIFACT to deal with (for the youngsters amongst you: EDIFACT is the 1980s precursor to XML. It's all cryptic codes, + delimited fields and ' delimited lines) and I've got legacy databases to massage into newer formats, all for what is laughably called my "data warehouse".
But of course, the one system that actually gives me serious problems is the most modern one. It's web-based, on internal servers. It's got all the late-naughties buzzowrds in web development, such as AJAX and JQuery. And it now has a "Web Service" interface at the request of the bosses, that I have to use.
The programmers of this system have based it on that very well-known database: Intersystems Caché. This is an Object Database, and doesn't have an SQL driver by default, so I'm basically required to use this "Web Service".
Let's put aside the poor security. I basically pass a hard-coded human readable string as password in a password field in the GET parameters. This is a step up from no security, to be fair, though not much.
It's the fact that the thing lies. All the files it spits out start with that fateful string: '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>' and it lies.
It's all UTF-8, which has made some of my parsers choke, when they're expecting latin-1.
But no, the real lie is the fact that IT IS NOT WELL-FORMED XML. Let alone Valid.
THERE IS NO ROOT ELEMENT!
So now, I have to waste my time writing a proxy for this "web service" that rewrites the XML encoding string on these files, and adds a root element, just so I can spit it at an XML parser. This means added infrastructure for my data munging, and more potential bugs introduced or points of failure.
Let's just say that the developers of this system don't really cope with people wanting to integrate with them. It's amazing that they manage to integrate with third parties at all...2 -
If I make a mistake I own up to it,
Its important I think to just be straight with people.
I do think a lot of devs.... Skirt the truth 🤔 least the ones I worked with1 -
Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.
I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages. -
On the positive note, I just installed win 10 on my PC, so I can finally play some MMO with my gf with more than 30 seconds per frame. Needless to say, my first installs were Msys2 and gvim :)
PS, any suggestions on a free casual MMO we could play together? I was thinking about TERA, but not set on anything yet.16 -
i am (somewhat unreasonably) mad at a ten year old classmate of my child. he showed off his programming skills by typing print commands. i wanted to mock him a little by pointing out python 2 would be out of date. he called my child a noob and suggested i don't know shit and he'd be coding c++.
so beside me obviously having no dignity for mocking someone quarter my age, i am not even mad for him talking shit about me, i am just overwhelmingly disappointed about his entitlement and blatant lies. so this is the future? this is an uprising nerd? i'd love to encourage every child on programming, but not with this attitude.13 -
Dear classmates,
I know our school is shitty as hell, that there is a fucking monitor missing and cables flying around.
BUT DON'T DARE TO LIE TO ME AGAIN. "Can you please move one to the right you're blocking the chair and we want to sit together". YES I KNOW. BUT DO YOU HAVE SEEN, THERE IS A FUCKING COMPUTER MISSING, MAYBE THAT'S WHY I AM SITTING HERE, NOT BECAUSE I'M DUMB AS FUCK AND DON'T SEE I AM BLOCKING A CHAIR!
"We can change later, but we want to sit here for now"
OH YEAH I KNOW. LIKE THE 20 OTHER TIMES YOU LIED TO ME WITH THAT IT'S JUST TEMPORARY. And then you come with come on don't be so childish and your friends start doing so too. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ONE TIME ON MY FUCKING PLACE AND STOP ANNOYING ME AS HELL JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE FOLLOW YOU AND LET ME JUST SIT AT MY FUCKING PLACE.
I AM NOT CHILDISH, I AM JUST NOT BELIEVING IN THESE LIES. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SIT THERE TEMPORARY? IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE...3 -
Front end developer is still getting a ticket even though the security flaw lies in the back-end.
Today, every click of the UI has an overlay of circular progress indicator indicates that there will be a synchronous actions in an asynchronous requests.
1 click = 1 loading state -
Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.13 -
Well, this one was very satisfying.
When I resigned from my previous job, there was this one last task I had to finish. The task was to implement an identity and access management system that would work across three different platforms they had. I used to work on one of them which had nothing of the sort but the other two had something of their own. Here lies the kicker, it had to work with existing authorization system in other two platforms. After explaining multiple times why that is a bad idea, I gave up. I created an interface, no implementation, documented how the interface was meant to be used and got the hell out of there. -
Hearing a recruiter saying "Which country are you interested?" And knowing that almost no one has been offered a relocation.1
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Smell the lies and too much process. Learn how to smell it and stay the same. It's the best also look over political correctness8
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I’ve had it with people and their lies on experience in the tech world, some guy/girl said to me that he/she had “8 years of experience” but still had problems on something they said they’ve “mastered”6
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I am amazed at human stupidity.
I always enjoyed the idea of DevOps: to use virtual machines and constant integration in order to avoid errors and free the developers of hard-to-setup environments and somehow-it-works compilations.
I am amazed how [company I used to work for] managed to turn this into a nightmare.
Just imagine: silent forests, the smell of flowers, no developer trust to the point your devs can’t either make docker environments cause reasons nor they can access your actual machines programmatically because they are filthy peasants, forcing them to do everything manually: every deployment will be a frustrating editing process which takes up to an hour, but here lies the trick... it will still have continuous integration... or better: every feature will be deployed as if it was a release.
The true peak of illumination:
Turning a tool into a disease.
Take a sip of tea, manager... you deserve it.
Just thought about this job because I keep being tempted to just start my own company. The more I think about it, the less being employed makes sense, given my end goal.2 -
I can’t control my thoughts.
When someone says “wrap your head around” something, I imagine it. It happens every time.
It’s always 50/50. The one times the head of the person inside my head turns into a play-doh kind of sausage that wraps around a random object, usually a cube, and his face looks confused. It’s hard to separate his head from his neck and it terrifies me.
The other times the head appears extremely solid and has an overall round shape, then I subconsciously try to forcefully wrap it around that object but it doesn’t work and that person screams. It terrifies me even more.
Thoughts like this haunt me through my life. I hate it but I also somehow feel like I’ll miss it if they’re gone and at the same time I can’t decide whether it’s like a Stockholm syndrome towards that terrifying thoughts that are somehow both so personal yet so alien, or just my intuition lies to me again. Both of those possible reasons scare me even more.
My intuition is very valuable to me, I value it the same as I value the freedom of thought – above everything else. Those situations compromise both. Intuition is a major decision-making instrument to me, so terrible things will happen if I couldn’t trust it.
I don’t know what exactly I did wrong to become like this and I can’t remember when it all started7 -
The networking group at my day job, hooooooolly crap I have some unprintable words. But keeping it professional:
* Days to turn around simple firewall whitelisting requests
* Expecting other teams to know the network layout despite not sharing that information anywhere and going out of their way to not share it
* Adding bureaucracy in the form of separate Word doc forms despite having a ticketing system - for no justifiable reason
* Breaking production systems multiple times per month
* Calling in with problems that are clearly network related, being told it’s our systems, and then the problems magically go away even though they swear they didn’t touch anything
* Outright verifiable lies or vague non-answers when they’re not talking to someone at the director level or a vendor from an outside company on conference calls
* Worse packet loss and throughput on our LAN than my home ISP
Doing anything with these clowns is my single biggest source of stress right now. I can’t wait until we get a full SDN stack set up and then we won’t have to deal with them for day-to-day needs any longer.
My boss swears it’s better that we’re not managing the network directly, but I’m pretty sure my friend’s dog could be loosed into the data center to chew on fiber, and eventually the pairs would be connected in such a way as to improve performance.1 -
So there is this social institute I invested three years in.
Left them a record budget to play with. After being chair person for two years before and even administrating the whole 1900 of em.
Turns out they're FRICKIN' MORONS!
Instead of welcoming constructive criticism
/* which is because they can not read one single line of simple text without a fidget spinner at hand. And the second line of text, they ask their meds being upgraded! */.
They start fucking people up by spreading lies publicly!
On the fakken Web!
In so called protocols
/* which they don't manage to spellcheck before publishing. As freaking "devs" they major in */.
Just because I told them, that another institution which is conjoined to them within the universities senate, DOES NOT STAND IN COMPETITION!
They don't get it.
Is it that difficult?
Downvote if it is.
And please help me with those worm infested no brainers marrying in circles.
Its incredible how much you can achieve in some years and still so many people stay ignorant enough to start spewing their verbal vomit all over the campus thus fist fucked professors reign in, because "muh truth! no development. just money, I like money. muh moving student, not like it! not like work!".
What the hell is going on in this society?!4 -
Who else lies about his job when dating a girl? JavaScript should be quite Sexy! I often find myself saying I'm a taxidermist with better results.2
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I fucking hate asp.net web forms. Today we implemented listboxes, so we expected them to just be a wrapper for HTML listboxes. NOPE! They are simply selects. Why they decided to hijack the name and do this, I don't know. That does explain why they don't have multiple columns like true listboxes.
So glad that for the next project, which we should start by the end of May, we'll be moving to MVC and .Net core. This shit is so stupid!3 -
I think it's a scam that the multinational corporations have pulled off that they've managed to get everyone to call and equate something technical and legally specific, "piracy."
Piracy is the theft and resale of physical goods. Copyright infringement is not piracy. It's a crime(in most countries), for sure, but it isn't piracy. The word "piracy" is emotionally charged, and its use serves the interests of corporate profit, not the interest of the origination of creative works, and certainly not your best interest. It's a deceptive practice. It's a lie.
But "copyright infringement," and "intellectual property," don't grab readers' attention like, "piracy." So, like how DeBeers has indoctrinated the world into thinking that diamonds are valuable, the RIAA, MPAA, and the BSA have indoctrinated the world into buying into the lie that copyright infringement and piracy are the same thing.9 -
I needed to take today off to prep for a home repair. I didn't have much notice either, but I assumed my manager would be okay with some last minute PTO because of how relaxed everyone usually is around here. Guess that didn't include me.
I should have never assumed that my boss was someone I could think of as a peer. I called their boss "Boss" one time, and they said that they don't look at it that way, and that they see me as a peer. My boss nodded in agreement, but it was all formalities, and I bought right into it. Especially since both of them, even the other guys, take time off on a whim. But I'm somehow tied to a stricter standard, even though I can't beg hard enough to get so much as an email answered for legitimate reasons. They'll jump right on my ass when they feel I'm not working as hard as them, but I get silence most of the rest of the time. Bullshit. It's no wonder the conversation changes when your boss sits down at the lunch table. How depressingly typical.1 -
Fuckkkkk.
Do you remember the formation I was going to take? Eletrónics, robotics and computers... It has been delayed again because there isn't enough people....
No one wants a job in the area where the future lies... Stupid, stupid people. -
This is more of a rant with a question within:
It's International Women's Day and I did not see this hitting me like it is lol, but I have a question for my fellow devs all over:
Do you actually like the system of developers making up fake doctors appointments (or whatever) to go interview with the competitor because they don't feel appreciated at their current company?
Do people actually like sneaking around and telling lies and constantly having to prove yourself to new people instead of just having a process in place to rectify the situation where you work?
And do you actually like having to spend so much time and energy negotiating pay so you don't get ripped off?
I know this happens to all of us, regardless of how we identify. But I once had a recruiter call me the day after she talked to my best friend, a male dev (same experience level), and using his same techniques that we practiced together, she offered me almost $100k less for the same title she offered him the day before, despite the strongest negotiating of my life. She insisted the company simply could not go higher. This affected my friend almost as much as it affected me-- this really does happen. We're not making it up. Sometimes not even the best advice can change the reality.
Shit like that is just depressing, and reminds me that it probably wouldn't be that different if I went somewhere else anyway. But I'm wondering if you like that hustle, or if you too wish it wasn't needed.18 -
I must say the worst thing is the whole "branding" of closed and open source software. Giving systems/platforms/repositories/projects/libraries names that makes no sense, just for the sake of standing out. Just god damn call a shoe for a shoe...the difference lies in the creator/maintainers and not in the fucking name...sry
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imagine thinking the future of llms / ai lies with yet another garbage python tool
😂😂😂😂
reality truly is stranger than fiction
🤡🤡🤡🤡6 -
Can you picture what will be?
This is the end, my only friend.
I'll never look into your eyes again.
Paint me red, and scalp me free.
Nothing else matters to me but me.
A world of sickos, filled with fright,
Too afraid to live tonight.
Nothing in this world is loved,
You live in a palace of lies.
Bet you thought this was Kaine or Kiki!8 -
So, this happened.
We are supposed to get bonuses by this time of the year, but at the evaluations meetings we were told that this year we won't because we've lost a client and bla bla.
Later this week, one of my colleagues just opened himself and told me that he and one more received the full bonus!!
So basically our employer just lied to everyone.
What would you do?
I'm leaving for sure, already think that this company is hitting a dead end, but i think leaving is not a good enough for the company to open their eyes and starting to value all its employees, even after I leave.7 -
I was today years old when I learned about "shadow jobs". This is where companies list jobs without any intention of hiring anyone. You could also call them "fake jobs", or "lies". Why they do this is anyone's guess. Maybe they want to look like they're expanding for their investors or something. Maybe they're harvesting resumes to train AI. Maybe they're just bored, and this is how the sick fucks get their jollies now that it's harder to find snuff films on the public internet. I wonder if HR didn't exist, would asylums still be popular? Is HR as a field just a way to keep prison populations lower?
For me, this is more of a matter of "want" to change jobs, over "need a job". For example, I've got a friend who is a way, way, way better programmer/developer than I could ever claim to be, and he's been fighting tooth and nail to get the time of day from some of these companies. Despite his extensive academic background, professional credentials, and high levels of skill and competence, he's been out of work for months now. At least they're going to "keep your information on file" though, right? Can definitely pay a mortgage with that.
Maybe I don't get it, but if you're hiring, post the JD. If you're not hiring, shut the fuck up and stay off the job boards. Everyone wins, except for the recovering snuff film addicts in HR.1 -
Crime can be prevented. War can be explained. Evil can be analyzed.
Pure chaos, however, is different. Somewhere out there, an inch away from the edge of the universe, lies what will destroy your mind should you try to grasp it.3 -
Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.
Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅4 -
Readme.md
*Todo: Add description*
>103 commits
>Last commit: a year ago
>Last commit on readme: 5 years ago
Slothful cunt, you don't deserve these 7 stars -
One of our integration solutions (via Webservices) had some issues. I had to switch on http logging to see what might be the issue.
On average, those logs are around 20MB when there is a bunch of traffic. But the solution brought a heap pf traffic through, those logs shot up to 1GB in size.
Had to delete the logs, since they took a million years to open, and told our vendors that the logs are not showing us anything 😅 I told no lies -
Posted on Twitter
A thread of Rittenhouse facts
I learned watching trial
So many spread lies
I couldn’t keep my silence
RIP follower count35 -
Job advertisement : C++, C#, mysql... / Interview : C#, mysql...
Real life : working one year (part time) on a prototype which had been used (I hope it still not the case) on prod. And by the way it was in VBA :D At the end the file did several Go, empty :D
First real job in a business, that's good memories :p -
dev && !rant
I am thinking about picking up a functional language. Currently I use Kotlin (and I fucking love that language) but I have to admit that it's support for functional programming is limited.
But I think their lies a certain beauty in fp and I want to do some project with it.
The 2 main problems are:
1. I have no experience in functional programming. I have no clue how to structure my program (potantialy without oop) and write clean testable code.
2. I don't know what language to use. Scala seems great since it has good IDE support and I like the Java ecosystem and Haskell seems to have more beauty but is missing that IDE support and it is very unfamilar for me.
So what do you guys think I should pick up? And how do I learn to write good software with it?17 -
The purpose of AWS free tier is to trick people into attempting to stay within its completely unmarked limits. It's like trying to hunt for mushrrooms in a forest split with a hostile country based on a verbal definition of where the border lies with border control waiting to ambush tourists for ransom money.6
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Whelp, so much for Dell making good on the 32gb sku for the xps 13 9300. 8 days late and 16gb short with minuscule storage at a $100 premium.
"Developer edition" indeed.
11 -
What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Good, good.
- Management -
The bygone clowns have started their new project. I look at the FAQ page. It's literally lies, because I know what they've done so far.
"We've had thousands of clients!" no they haven't, lie.
"We estimate approximately % of customers..." they don't have enough data to support that, lie.
Since when did marketing become lying?
God I hate this planet.7 -
Fuck all those special snowflake npm packages who each implement their own incomprehensible documents format and even make an ugly ass website full of lies for it.
Next to JavaScript, this is the biggest reason why I hate frontend development with a passion.2 -
Technology will be the end of human liberty.
“{9} The post-totalitarian system touches people at every step, but it does so with its ideological gloves on. This is why life in the system is so thoroughly permeated with hypocrisy and lies: government by bureaucracy is called popular government; the working class is enslaved in the name of the working class; … Because the regime is captive to its own lies, it must falsify everything. It falsifies the past. It falsifies the present, and it falsifies the future. It falsifies statistics. …
{10} Individuals need not believe all these mystifications, but they must behave as though they did, or they must at least tolerate them in silence, or get along well with those who work with them. For this reason, however, they must live within a lie. They need not accept the lie. It is enough for them to have accepted their life with it and in it. For by this very fact, individuals confirm the system, fulfill the system, make the system, are the system. . . . .”
https://theamericansun.com/2018/12/...10 -
I think alot of things supposedly already being done and the profit based bent of the world discourages young developers who don't know that half of the touted projects are crap in many cases and there is still large amounts of room for development.
Not to mention the glaringly obvious security hole and the need to build teams that understand the comp from top to bottom so certain scheisters can't push bullshit on us that would take a single person too long to understand every aspect of. -
Meditation. Or Awareness Meditation to be precise. It enables me to regain control over my mind, because I get distracted really fast. It really helps sorting things out, taking a step back and getting an overview where I actually am and if what I'm doing right now is actually relevant/has priority. I mostly find that it's not, so I have to return to the important stuff.
For those interested: meditation sounds weird, even obvious at first or you just don't get what's it all about. You actually have to practice meditation for a long time and study the concepts until you start to understand what all these phrases and talking means. Behind them lies great wisdom/huge amount of concepts which is easily underestimated. So don't be frustrated too much if you don't feel it working right away. Be assured I've been there too. Also don't start with meditations like 'just stop thinking or think nothing' because in my opinion this is highly complex shit and frustrating at first. Start with awareness or breathing meditations or even get an app to support your daily habit.1 -
all video streaming fucker companies have found a new way to promote shitty lies!
Hotstar: "try Hotstar! Rs199/month! first 7days free!"
Amazon prime : "try amazon prime! Rs 129/month! first 30 days free!"
those small numbers are fuckin lies. they have only 2 or 3 supported banks and if yours isn't one of them, then you have no option but to buy their full 365 days non refundable subscription of a larger amount, which strangely accepts *all payment bank cards*
liars. liar liar liars!
7 -
Some guy:
- one hundred thirty seven is twenty one
- twenty one is nine
- nine is four
- and four is the magical number
Me: *shouts* Lies! CAFEBABE it's the magical number11 -
instagrams "based on likes" is total bullshit, I don't like shit those suggestions like but if you scroll through your contacts you'll find those suggestions. Why not just say it like it is: "from your contacts or from your friends contacts"
3 -
So I sign up for this fancy pants website were developers rant about shit. They ask me bunch of data mining personal questions upfront like a marketing bitch so I go through and fill out my profile. Ok it's a social site, whatever and nobody gives a fuck about me anyway. I hit save, continue and go to click the email that injects my lies into their database. But I figure I might go back and fix some of the lies I wrote about myself just in case Google craws it and somebody I meet in the future calls me liar. So I spend 10 minutes trying to navigate the whole website to find a way to get back there to edit the lies or even perhaps find some site help relating to profiles. Of course the profile page itself does not do this profile edit stuff and bugger me if there is no help at all on how to use this website. So I did the only thing I could and wrote this rant in the hope somebody knows how the fuck I cover my tracks on devrant.com4
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Very tired of people that turn around to me and say “this is sales, you have to know your audience, it’s not based on truth and logic”... basically an excuse for telling outright lies and expecting me to pick up the pieces when reality bites and the lies come back to haunt them, all for the sake of “closing the deal”8
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My current task involves processing the commoncrawl web archive, and it's like a box of junk you buy at a flea market. You find so much useless stuff, broken stuff, stuff that makes you question people...
My latest find makes me wonder what lies out there if what I found was in plain sight. I found tens of thousands of websites that look like someone used markov chains to generate pron ads. Those websites exist in 10+ languages, use the same url-scheme, read like a dyslexic camgirl reading alphabet soup and are hosted on the same three ip-adresses. There is no javascript involved and some pages link to a variety of twitter accounts.
I queried a few commoncrawl files and amassed 4GB of this spam. Every time I look at it it gets weirder. There is an italian article about malware in there too.
Here's a text sample:
"Not from her bedroom, she her stream view and meet new experience. In hd india, because swimsuit still laws exist no interaction or frigthened and."1 -
Interview: "We provide on going training for all our developers."
After hire:
do
{
// lie to employee
Console.WriteLine("We'll have to schedule some training for you.");
// wait 30 days
System.Threading.Thread.Sleep(2592000000);
}
while (IsEmployeeStillWorkingHere()) -
Writing code at work be like:
Hmm okay so if I call this facade looking for an order with a code, and the order can't be found, it will return null. Thank God this bit of code is documented...
Ten minutes later
Why is this not throwing an exception when I pass invalid parameters in...?
Two minutes later
Oh, so this never returns null. If the order isn't found, it returns an empty DTO. Fucking docs.
Seriously, the only thing worse than no documentation is documentation that lies. And that's all I get for my first project at the company, which I am having to do alone. Either no docs, or misleading docs. -
Whenever I reach the point where static analysis can't help me any further I always feel a sort of thrill mixed with terror. This is the real deal. Until now the problems were easy to find, the questions had well defined answers to choose from, the rules were universal. In the part of the logic that cannot be checked, the invariants upheld manually, where the best the type system can enforce is for the programmer to clearly state what they're doing, lies the real beast. In proofs commented on functions or invariants as logical expressions over plain English variables written in the doc comments of a struct.
In the blurry and pompous future I imagine for software development, that's where the programmer's time will be spent. Once we all agree on what a string is, what it means to depend on someone else's code, and what parts a UI should be made of, all a developer should have to do is make decisions and derive proofs an automated deduction engine can't do on its own. -
I just used a contact form of a local webshop. I couldnt enter my email address because it contains a +.
I contacted them to tell them about this issue and the response was it is because of security reasons. Since when is following specs a security breach? Unless their system is one leak I don't see how its possible.
Am I wrong or did they either lie or have a leak in their system?2 -
Anyone else out there feel like Git is like Charlie Brown’s “stupid kite-eating tree” that just lies in wait at code deploy time to ruin you? I can never get it right. Either I’m doing some edits and realize I’m on the wrong branch or the master is inexplicably ahead of local (or vice versa) and even though I can see in the git log where things went wrong, it’s like crossing a freeway blindfolded and hoping my git fetch or reset or merge doesn’t blow everything to hell. WHYYYY IS THIS SO DAMN HARD?!27
-
Read the whole thing here:
https://pastebin.com/ucyc75Qh
This isn't a devrant post really, more like "adjacent to the societal void that all brings us here".
Anyway. This is for you.
"Fraud" or "Addiction"
Lies are like addiction.
We lie to ourselves.
We lie to each other.
Why can't we just be honest.
Why can't we not be honest?;
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I WANT it.
But I don't want how it makes me feel.6 -
Well this is a comforting alternative to the stress and anxiety I feel just before i start to spiral perilously out of control...
I'm not burning out I'm just getting my flame on while I level up. 🔥🔥🔥🤣
-
How I hate all those people who think VisualStudio Code is Open Source. It's not! Read the f*cking license!
https://code.visualstudio.com/licen...
In fact, you aren't even allowed to inspect its network traffic. Not to mention reverse engineering. That's nowhere near OpenSource.
You sure can download the source code, licensed as MIT, but building it won't give you the same piece of software.
Don't believe in everything someone tells you. Use your brain and check the facts.12 -
So in the past 3 days I've almost had 6 heart attacks, I've been giving public speeches for random classes at my school as a practise.
Today I'm going to some capital city finals shit whatever you call it and I have to give a public speech to fuc knows how many people.
I wrote a speech about lies in 700 words, speech has to be 5 minutes, oh yeah, in English. It's not my native...
Man, I am not ok at all Xd, they had to choose the one who has anxiety dosorders.2 -
So, I've been seeing a lot of people concerned about privacy around here lately.
I completely understand it, and I too, don't want all my data to be available for anyone at any given time. I get it.
However, the only way to get privacy, is to build it yourself.
Buying a phone? Who says (apart from the company itself) that it doesn't have some integrated chip, or that the os lies to you or w/e
When using your phone, who says your Sim provider isn't intercepting all your traffic with a man in the middle attack?
These sound like conspiracies, however, if you really want privacy, either build it yourself (or with other privacy activists) or let go of the comforts of technology (i know, you're not the only source of info about yourself, the only way to shield yourself is to go into the woods and live a simple life.)
It's pretty sad that these are the two options, but I've yet to find a better one.
(ps, I used to have a "no logs, no ip, no anything" VPN provider, and as soon as some agency requested info, they got it, so I wouldn't easily trust the promise of 3rd parties anymore.)12 -
I've got some free time at school today and decided to go to our teacher assistans room after checking his schedule. It was obviously his 'office time' and the only purpose of that time was assisting students that need help with something.
I've been there before and we had a nice conversation about tech stuff other than school things. So I thought I could go there in my free time today.
He said he's kind of busy when I've asked him if he got some time or not. Eventually we had a 5 min talk and I left BUT I've seen something on his monitor at the exact moment I stepped into his room.
Bitch, you were watching John Wick 3 trailer before I came in. So this is how you're busy, huh?
Stop fucking lying please. -
Out of any service industry web dev is the only one that shorts it own market and full of lies making it impossible for any real person trying to make and honest living and everyone seems to be okay with it - no other trade does this 25 years experience haven't found a job yet in a year something's not right too many people are lying making people untrustworthy I know I'm not the only one that feels like this8
-
I have a dream that one day companies will understand that most people who pirate music/movies/games etc. do it because they don't have enough money or because they can't get them any other way. They don't lose money, as those people are not able to buy their products anyway, instead, they gain supporters and possible future clients. Piracy is one of the reasons Windows is the king OS(prove me wrong...) and also the reason Game of Thrones is the most popular show on the planet. Instead of hunting torrent site founders maybe they could, I don't know, build great and cheap services. Spotify is such a service, no reason to pirate music anymore, but everything else still lies in the middle ages...8
-
Microservices -
But dude it doesn't fall in my service's domain, you should be taking care of this.
What makes you think it lies under mine? -
So, the story starts with me getting a job. Full-time job for the first time in my 21 years old life. After short conversation about how amazing this company is, after countless lies and stood questions they decided to hire me. I had to get come on Monday a week later with everything prepared.
So of course I did that and got to my workplace on designated time. Turned out nobody was expecting me, nothing was prepared for a new programmer and everyone seemed angry at me for no apparent reason.
After long talk with my new boss I got some less than 100$ pc with CPU that couldn't handle virtualization and expected me to work on software that needed extensive use of virtual machine.
PC is of course filled with all kinds of spying software that uses most of the resources. IT teams only job is to check if programmers are working their assess off for at least 8 hours a day.
I've filled a ticket about granting me access to Debian machine on the mainframe so I could work. No response for two weeks. I've lost hope already.
I have to work on open space with more than 30 engineers. Screams, phone calls, alarms, all at once, all the time. My colleagues seem to not care and I can't understand how.
I was tasked with rewriting major application because old developer did some half assed piece of burning shit. It took him more than one year, I'm finishing it in less than two weeks.
Of course nobody except for me is preparing any kinds of documentation. I had to reverse-engineer whole API for alarm system.
Salary is less than a junior programmer should earn.
But I'm stuck here for at least a year because nobody's here wants a guy whose only experience is as a freelancer. -
It's important to have a little fun with what you do. You can work on and on like it's a chore and get along with it just fine, but right below the surface of the tools you use lies something truly interesting. Reading code, documentation, blog posts, what have you, all of it is just as helpful in learning as writing code.
And also, be kind. We all write crap code from time to time. As a beginner, I know I do. It's important to take it all as a learning experience.
Personal favourite quote that puts it very well: 'I guess you could call it a “ failure,” but I prefer the term “learning experience".' -
!dev
to;dr: fuck American mainstream media and all the lies.
I'm am so fucking fed up with American mainstream media. they constantly spew fucking blatant lies or disingenuous, misleading bullshit, and basically cover up anything that "doesn't fit the narrative".
it's like they think we're all idiots.
In South Africa, privately owned farmland is being confiscated from whites, as far as I can tell, because they're white. it's basically not being talked about in mainstream media because they're white. if it were any other race, I'm sure it would be all over the media.
"Violence again women in videogames must stop". uhhh, most videogames I've played, the violence is against about 99.9% male/0.1% females.... so....
"Donald Trump is a fascist". now I'm not saying one way or another whether I support Donald Trump or not, no opinions here just facts: Donald Trump is, at the very least, right-leaning, and fascism is a FAR LEFT IDEOLOGY. saying Donald Trump is a fascist is completely baseless and just a completely retarded claim.
literally calling for socialism.... do I even need to comment? have you ever read a history book?
countless other examples can easily be found if you look at any independent moderate to slightly right-leaning news source, podcast, etc.
I've had enough of the fucking blatant dishonesty of the mainstream media, whether it's flat out lies, or being disingenuous, or misleading, or not covering huge stories because they don't meet the narrative.4 -
"Oh, i know exactly which file this snippet goes in! I'm glad the author of these docs didn't waste a precious few extra seconds to tell the reader where this is supposed to go."
- An excerpt from "I'm Not an Impostor, and Other Lies Developers Tell Themselves" -
Shit my "Senior" Dev coworker days:
"Well, logically, lies are more important because it takes more effort to remember the lie, who you've told it to, and any extra stuff you made up to keep your story straight. Then, when you have more than one lie, you work even harder to keep them all in line".1 -
I think a lot of “confession of having impostor syndrome” on devrant is false humility. You really are an impostor, it became sth like i am perfectionist lies in interviews. Discuss(or flame at me, whatever).2
-
Some time ago, when exactly the fuck I don't quite remember and promise I never will unless just the right amount of ass is provided in a timely fashion, I start going about how I want to work on some utils to make writing prompts easier.
What I do remember and will remind you with strongly renewed vigor is the fact that I signed a legally-binding document to grant the general public a full pardon for my own ritualistic assassination should I ever use the term "prompt-engineering" unironically.
This pact still holds, and were I to break my solemn oath, then I will hold you fully accountable every single second I find myself still breathing.
Anyhoo, today was the first test of my resolve, for I have implemented both the stupid preprocessor and the local database prototype that allows it to fetch long ass definitions from disk, and both have been published (main: https://github.com/Liebranca/...).
I must admit to you all that though I have not failed, I felt weakness for a second when filling out tags in the repo description, as only "prompt-engineering" was recognized as a legit tag, and not "prompt-writing". In that moment, I almost gave in to temptation, as the accursed Satan whispered in my ear, appealing to my desire for recognition.
However, I reminded this ill buttrape daemon that their fate lies in the burning fires of hell, and as a result was allowed to resist it's alluring diabolical seduction. And for not giving in to greed, I have kept my life, my honor, and my anal virginity.
Also I wrote *some* documentation, it's shit but it's something.12 -
today I will have the last of my high school finals.
I feel like after today I will be a free boy (for three months, at least). Like I have won the game, beaten the boss level.
After 7 years of resisting to comply to this system which tries so hard to shape every pupil into a compliant individual, it will be done.
My creativity and productivity (which lies in tech, which isn't really represented in any subject in my school), set free.
No more mandatory pseudo-interest in loads of literature and cultural history. The bits that are interesting would have come to me anyways through Reddit.
Victory is mine. YAY \o/
World, here I come!
P.S. yes, of course, there were also positive things. I'm actually thankful for that time I failed the year's end exam about literature which ended in me having to redo that year. It landed me with loads of free time, which got me into tech-tinkering, a now two-year employment as a programmer, and a juniar participation at the nearest Hackerspace. And a chance to pretty much build and operate a 3D-printer, for which the physics department mostly covered the cost. The school unknowingly gave me the opportunity to extend my own horizon outside of school, and it brought me so much nice things. :) But the mandatory interest in literature and cultural/religious history and the lack of technical subjects and the digital oppression still sucked.
P.P.S. oops that was only supposed to be a short P.S. -
When I work extra hours on weekends, so I can finally take a break from Microsoft Word and write some code for a change. It's going on for a second week now, if not longer 😢
-
I am now replying to fake news spreaders on the internet, pointing out their lies. And I end with the following closing comment:
"You may go now, I am done with you".
>D6 -
It took me a month's time to adjust to working in co-working space last year and it took around similar this to adjust to working from home this year. Both working environments have there own pros and cons but somehow we all find a way to continue working.
Don't know what working environment lies ahead of me once this lockdown get's over but I hope I adjust again in similar manner there too :D -
!Rant
So I started programming with ROR, because I was bored and wanted something to do. A couple months later a decent grasp of the basics, I've recently been thinking about switching over to JavaScript because I feel like the community is bigger and there are a lot more resources out there for things such as mobile development and server side support. As much as I love Ruby's elegancy and ease of use, my heart lies with Mobile when it comes to software development (games will always take precedence though!) And I feel like JavaScript would be more the way to go in terms of a more "full stack" experience. What do you guys think? Should I stick with Ruby or should I set my sights slightly higher? Oh the questions us beginner devs have hahah1 -
After my third "requested changes" I've officially lost all dignity I held. Spend hours working, wrong solution. Revert, not working. Fix, removed functional code. I think my brain is just broken. Or maybe this project is just massive and I just can't wrap my head around it properly. Or maybe I'm just clueless. One day I'd like to be at a level where you hear an issue and immediately know the solution, where the problem lies in the code, how to fix it, and how long it will take. Hell, I'd settle for even one of those right now. The learning process is so stressful.
-
"We are flexible with the arrivals, always when you accomplish your hours".
Missing detail: they don't open even 15 min early or close 15 min late. So how the fuck is that flexible?3 -
when docker desktop lies to you it updated when you looked to update to latest weeks ago
so you try again and realize there's no fucking progress bar to get any sense of progress -
Anyone who tells you there is no time constraint is on drugs. There's no such thing. At best, there are just secret deadlines that crop up as you're getting close. It's just a fucking con to get you to build unimportant shit, and work your ass off to meet some artificial deadline at the end.
-
The tragedy of my life has been I grew up in the sane real world not knowing it was insane and that the inmates thus interred in the asylum they embraced used the real
World to cover their perversity and inhumanity. When they had less freaks all around and more normal people to mimic they mimicked ordinary people better and I not knowing what they were, made explanations that seemed more reasonable than the truth for their strange behavior. And behind the scenes they were lying and taking advantage of a man who only wanted to live and have the things that seemed reasonable: a home, a companion, and some set of interests to follow when not working. Maybe some ambition in there as well but it’s evident that only the most evil people truly thrive and then only a small subsection of them. And now I wander back through looking at what amounts to moving museum pieces of trash all standing in the same places telling the same lies and in some cases so inane and stupid they think this benefits them. That the destruction of all the light in the world availed them somehow. Definition of pathetic.2 -
So this supposed dev ops job has devolved into first support.
This shit honestly doesn't even make sense to me
Time to start looking5 -
!rant
I believe that the answer to all my problems lies in the wubbs of chillstep.
It's the only thing that helps me debug. -
Fucking wrong parameter number.
select id,
name,
email,
logo,
IF(company_contact_ids is null, 0, contact_count) as contact_count
from (
select `companies`.`id`,
`name`,
`email`,
`phone`,
`logo`,
COUNT('company_contact.id') as contact_count,
GROUP_CONCAT(company_contact.id) as company_contact_ids
from `companies`
left join `company_contact` on `company_contact`.`company_id` = `companies`.`id`
where name like '%:name%'
group by `companies`.`id`
order by `name` asc
) as companies;
how many parameters do you see? I see 1.
https://pasteboard.co/KjDUjA3.png
Now how many parameters you see in $bindings array? I see 1
Fuck you laravel creators - it is not fucking wrong count. Why this error lies to me? Or what fucking count do you expect if I defined in the fucking query 1 parameter?3 -
Relevant now more than ever as we head to this horrible freeze of everything enjoyable to be replaced by warped and twisted trash spat out by a system of complex lies and perversity which aims at destroying the joys of natural and pedestrian perversity !
Only fans bans sex content !
https://mashable.com/article/...4 -
I usually start writing some personal scripts. The kind which you spend more time writing than will ever spend using it. Usually that's where my answer lies, and just like that it clicks into my mind.
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