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Search - "lies"
We have a bunch of white people in human resources that are trying to hire "diverse" people because the company sets HR diversity targets. Which is an inherently racist way of hiring someone.
I am told to interview this guy who claims to have Angular experience. Before the interview I ask to see a form that he has built in Angular. He sends me a repo which is ripped off of an open source project and has the readme and git commits removed. A quick web search shows that it isn't his work. He shows up to the interview and I find out he is from a Southern African country. I deliberately ask some questions about code that I can see he didn't write that I prepared ahead of time. He lies to me and tells me all about how he wrote it which showed me that he has no idea what the code does. I tell HR they better not hire him because he was very comfortable lying to me, and I'm confident that he doesn't understand any of the code that he showed me. I do not trust this guy and would never choose to work with him. HR lady says "Ah okay."
Today he walks in with a big grin on his face. HR lady fucking hired this guy. I can see his monitors from my desk and he spent his whole first day looking at a soccer website on his second monitor. I call up HR, "Why would you even ask me to interview him if you refuse to listen to my feedback?". Lady tells me "You need to be open minded about diversity. Probably most of the things you observed were either cultural differences or language barrier." I tell her definitely not. He lied to me multiple times, and he took credit for other people's work." She tells me that they will keep an eye on me because I'm not being open to diversity.
Are you kidding me? This white lady is literally stereotyping me as a racist because I'm white.
So this fucking HR lady called me a racist because she decided to hire someone that we shouldn't trust. Then she put this asshat on my project. Now I have to be cautious about my position because HR is "watching" my racist ass. Even though I am literally the only one on the development team that is white and speaks English as my first-language. I called a team meeting before the on-boarding is over so I can tell the other developers what is happening. We restructured our code review process so that I will never give him feedback. Then when the time comes that he slips up the "diverse" developers will kick him out so I won't be reprimanded as a "racist".
This company that I work for is a special kind of stupid.34
- Girl: I don't understand how some people can be so foolish and decide to study computer science.
- Me: Hm, true. So what did you study?
- Girl: Tourism and sports science. And you?
- Me: Nothing. I'm a truck driver.18
I know I should not be naming names but WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016 was actually a fuckfest. It was supposed to be a 14 day online hackathon followed by an offline event for top teams. I got in top 6 among the 4350 participants.
In the offline event:
1. They didn't allow us to give live demo of the project. Instead they asked us to present a ppt. The HR idiot even asked me to take screenshots of my cli app and put that in instead.
2. 4 out of the 6 teams actually presented their startup products. It was supposed to be a 14 day hackathon for fucks sake. How can you present some shit that you were working on for the last 1.5 years! This one team literally had "Copyright 2015" mentioned on their product page. This another team had 100,000+ downloads on his app already. Of course Walmart didn't care about it. They didn't listen to my complaint. I wish I had created a scene there :( Another team was boasting on stage about how they got selected in the FB startup accelerator and how they won 3 more hackathon (evidently equally shit) using their shit. This was met with praises from the judges.
3. The results were declared after 3 fucking months! Don't organize this shit next time if you don't have any interest, bitch.
4. The code was supposedly never checked. Other teams kept working on their shit for the 3 months in between. In the live presentation, this guy even had photoshopped a feature which wasn't even present there (and he boasted about it later on).
5. Hackerearth (platform for the hackathon) was equally incompetent in this mishap of a hackathon. One of the teams which won had one the previous hackathon (Pluralsight hackathon) as well on Hackerearth using the same fucking product. What pieces of shit >.<
6. The hackathon was supposed to be tech based and all the categories were like that. Instead the teams presented business models and shit like that and judges focused more on that. They were not concerned about the technical aspects at all. The more noise you made, the more lies you told, the better chance you had to win it.
7. They were supposed to give prizes in 4 categories but silently reduced it to 3 on the event day. They still publicised it as 4 prizes until now.
All of the above is true and I am willing to testify if someone asks for it. I am going to write a nice blog post about it and post it to their idiot HR.
Hackathon: WalmartLabs Hackfest 2016
Team name: psyduck (which is just me)
Sorry for being too salty but it was indeed a fuckfest.16
so i just got fired 🔥 🔥 🔥 because i wanted a 200 fucking dollars raise after 1 year of work and sacrifices and feeling like shit.
200$ because i live in the 3rd fucking world, working with a stupid motherfucking boss (you know the fat old tone deaf cunt), he's american, and he brings projects from the US from clients paying thousands of dollars, and he pays us 300$, and by the fucking way he used to pay us 100$ (we are 3 developers, a dick who does nothing but report our behavior, and a shit who does shit. we are a development company and we are the only developers and we got fired because he thought we didn't deserve the raise and that he sees no reason in giving us more money because we're already wasting the company's money and time).
So now the only people left there are the dick, the shit and the fatass boss who's in the states rn.
the funny thing is after we left by an hour or so we got calls from many other companies that we refused to work with because of our loyal-fucking-ty.
the motherfucker thinks we're conspiring against him, that we don't trust him, well of fucking course we don't, he lies about having a company in the US, well it's there but it's suspended (we looked it up), he says he's a microsoft, intel, adobe, dell, lenovo partner, and he's not.
well fuck i'm kind of happy that i left, i'm sitting with my friends in a cafe right now thinking about finishing our personal projects.
forgot something: the projects we were working on are unfinished, and there's not a single fucker to finish them, so he's ball deep in shit. hope this rant is relatable45
Today's my lucky day for job rejections...
"Unfortunately we have decided not to proceed with you as a candidate because the salary range you expect lies outside our budget."
That's very interesting indeed because in the very first interview (phone call) you asked me about that range and I gave it, straight and simple.
Then I had to do a coding challenge, which I usually refuse, but did anyway. It took about 15 hours. Let's not forget that it had nothing to do with the job I was applying for, but OK.
After that, a second interview, which took 1.5 hours and a third, which gobbled up 2 hours of my time.
Then you tell me that you're not willing to fork over the dosh, after having wasted 18.5 hours of my time!
Thank you very much, you anus blossoms!9
Not one feature.
All analytics systems in general.
Whether it's implementing some tracking script, or building a custom backend for it.
So called "growth hackers" will hate me for this, but I find the results from analytics tools absolutely useless.
I don't subscribe to this whole "data driven" way of doing things, because when you dig down, the data is almost always wrong.
We removed a table view in favor of a tile overview because the majority seemed to use it. Small detail: The tiles were default (bias!), and the table didn't render well on mobile, but when speaking to users they told us they actually liked the table better — we just had to fix it.
Nokia almost went under because of this. Their analytics tools showed them that people loved solid dependable feature phones and hated the slow as fuck smartphones with bad touchscreens — the reality was that people hated details about smartphones, but loved the concept.
Analytics are biased.
They tell dangerous lies.
Did you really have zero Android/Firefox users, or do those users use blocking extensions?
Did people really like page B, or was A's design better except for the incessant crashing?
If a feature increased signups, did you also look at churn? Did you just create a bait marketing campaign with a sudden peak which scares away loyal customers?
The opinions and feelings of users are not objective and easily classifiable, they're fuzzy and detailed with lots of asterisks.
Invite 10 random people to use your product in exchange for a gift coupon, and film them interacting & commenting on usability.
I promise you, those ten people will provide better data than your JS snippet can drag out of a million users.
This talk is pretty great, go watch it:
Excuse the profuse amount of profanity below.
Fuck this fucking fucked up motherfucker of a fucking director. Money does not make you a fucking decent person, and you come in here and tell me that you pay my fucking measly salary so I must be fucking grateful.
Starts off with a boardroom meeting this morning. Wireless connection on my laptop takes two minutes to connect, I get told that I am wasting company time and that the salary of everyone in the meeting is quite a lot ("with me being the highest"- cuntface director) so stop wasting time. Fuck you man, it's a fucking wireless connection. I am building your motherfucking company applications and doing web design and for what, so I can earn fuckall and be told that I am fucking wasting time. I am presenting your fucking site you wanted, so give me a fucking minute extra to start up the fucking wireless connection.
The fucking mails are taking long to send, great, let's come down and fucking scream at the dev who regrettably said he would try and assist IT (by calling the provider). I literally just got told that I am the following. 1) Fucking stupid 2) He is going to close the dept down because I apparently fuck up (yet again cuntface, your fucking mailserver is NOT MY FUCKING PROBLEM) 3) He is going to contact an external company to come and check my work. 4) I am fucking useless. 5) I telling him lies (yeah fuckface, I worked as a sys admin, I know what a motherfucking DNS server is and what it does. you don't - so don't fucking tell me that I am lying when I tell you there is a DNS fucking issue, because you don't know what the fuck you are talking about - to top that off motherfucker, I FUCKING BUILT YOUR FUCKING SERVER AND YOUR FUCKING NETWORK. I FUCKING KNOW HOW IT WORKS AND WHAT THE FUCK I AM TALKING ABOUT).
On top of that, I got pushed out of the way of my own PC, my code got some fucked up gibberish in it (because he was trying to minimise my editor and he typed some in it, and now I have to fucking roll-back. He told me I am wasting company time and he will take my shit away from me if I download something again. It is an open network. I downloaded JAVA and fucking updated Sublime. Jesus man. What the fucking fuck.
"why is your gmail open?!?!" because I was testing your emails from an external network. "DON'T FEED ME BULLSHIT" (even though the top mail states "test"). It's the whole fucking "my money determines my dick size" mentality.
That being said, I got told that I need to work overtime, without pay, to resolve IT's issue, even if I have to on the weekend.
That being said,my new Dell that I had just bought (my own) got thrown on the floor and he fucked out of my office. Stupid motherfucker. I fucking earn nothing but cannot leave. I will find another job, and when I do - you can go and fuck yourself and your fucking degrading opinions. I am not fucking stupid, so fuck you.Fuck your company and fuck you. Cunt.34
Saw my uncle using Microsoft Edge today.
Me: Uncle, you should use Chrome or Firefox. They are better.
Uncle: Windows 10 showed a pop up few days back that chrome drains battery faster. So I uninstalled chrome.
Me: But Windows is fooling you to use its product. Edge is horrible and useless.
Uncle: So you think you are smarter than Windows people? Are they idiots who designed this whole software?
Microsoft u got 1 more Edge user. Enjoy, you lying and misleading company.28
2 hours, maybe 2.5.
No one works for more than that, it's not how brains work. Or bodies for that matter, you gotta pee eventually.
OK maybe I'm pedantic and shouldn't count breaks... But then where lies the threshold? A fifteen minute coffee break? An hour long lunch break?
Could we use scrum storypoints to brag then (I once finished 12 points in a day!) — not really, because they're not standardized units of work.
Lines of code then? Well, the dev who copy pastes Java classes would beat the guy adjusting a dense Python script, without necessarily doing more.
No, the only true measure is of course grams of amphetamine per week, and in that metric I win from everyone.
You what's been pissing me off this week. The press and social media coverage of this Google guy's gender memo.
Almost every outlet has him saying:
"Women are inferior coders because of their biology"
He ABSOLUTELY does not say this anywhere. He only states that basically less women are attracted to the industry. He doesn't comment at all on the quality of the Women who do go into tech.
It astonishes me the utter ignorance of the media and how they can just print these ignorant errors / lies.
I would wager that most if not all of them never even read his memo.
I am really fucked off by this social media keyboard warrior driven world we live in.
Apparently we value freedom of speech and freedom of expression above all else... UNLESS you say something that pisses off the social media justice warriors. In that case you will be publicly crucified and your life / career will be destroyed.
The annoying thing is in this particular case he didn't even say what they are saying he did.43
--- GitHub 24-hour outage post mortem ---
As many of you will remember; Github fell over earlier this month and cracked its head on the counter top on the way down. For more or less a full 24 hours the repo-wrangling behemoth had inconsistent data being presented to users, slow response times and failing requests during common user actions such as reporting issues and questioning your career choice in code reviews.
It's been revealed in a post-mortem of the incident (link at the end of the article) that DB replication was the root cause of the chaos after a failing 100G network link was being replaced during routine maintenance. I don't pretend to be a rockstar-ninja-wizard DBA but after speaking with colleagues who went a shade whiter when the term "replication" was used - It's hard to predict where a design decision will bite back and leave you untanging the web of lies and misinformation reported by the databases for weeks if not months after everything's gone a tad sideways.
When the link was yanked out of the east coast DC undergoing maintenance - Github's "Orchestrator" software did exactly what it was meant to do; It hit the "ohshi" button and failed over to another DC that wasn't reporting any issues. The hitch in the master plan was that when connectivity came back up at the east coast DC, Orchestrator was unable to (un)fail-over back to the east coast DC due to each cluster containing data the other didn't have.
At this point it's reasonable to assume that pants were turning funny colours - Monitoring systems across the board started squealing, firing off messages to engineers demanding they rouse from the land of nod and snap back to reality, that was a bit more "on-fire" than usual. A quick call to Orchestrator's API returned a result set that only contained database servers from the west coast - none of the east coast servers had responded.
Come 11pm UTC (about 10 minutes after the initial pant re-colouring) engineers realised they were well and truly backed into a corner, the site was flipped into "Yellow" status and internal mechanisms for deployments were locked out. 5 minutes later an Incident Co-ordinator was dragged from their lair by the status change and almost immediately flipped the site into "Red" status, a move i can only hope was accompanied by all the lights going red and klaxons sounding.
Even more engineers were roused from their slumber to help with the recovery effort, By this point hair was turning grey in real time - The fail-over DB cluster had been processing user data for nearly 40 minutes, every second that passed made the inevitable untangling process exponentially more difficult. Not long after this Github made the call to pause webhooks and Github Pages builds in an attempt to prevent further data loss, causing disruption to those of us using Github as a way of kicking off our deployment processes (myself included, I had to SSH in and run a git pull myself like some kind of savage).
Glossing over several more "And then things were still broken" sections of the post mortem; Clever engineers with their heads screwed on the right way successfully executed what i can only imagine was a large, complex and risky plan to untangle the mess and restore functionality. Github was picked up off the kitchen floor and promptly placed in a comfy chair with a sweet tea to recover. The enormous backlog of webhooks and Pages builds was caught up with and everything was more or less back to normal.
It goes to show that even the best laid plan rarely survives first contact with the enemy, In this case a failing 100G network link somewhere inside an east coast data center.
Link to the post mortem: https://blog.github.com/2018-10-30-...7
We had the most fucking retarded client today. No, seriously, if you ever beat their level you have a serious mental issue.
They had a mail problem for which they'd need to check at the side of another company since we don't have those fucking logs.
- they entered an email address In the text field of mail-tester.com and were furious that they didn't get the results sent.
Note: it says right on that page that YOU JUST NEED TO SEND THE EMAIL ADDRESS WHICH IS PRE-ENTRRED IN THAT TEXT FIELD AN EMAIL.
- their company has been a reputable 'conservative' company which hasn't done anything wrong since 19xx so the fact that they'd end up on a blacklist was FUCKING OUTRAGEOUS and bullshit.
- our support wasn't willing to help and only willing to tell them outrageous lies.
- the other it company was only reachable at a premium number and thus expensive to call.
Emails back and forth and finally they CC'd the other company. They're reply was fucking priceless:
"we never had a premium number. Feel free to call us on *number* any time during the week between *time* and *time*.
Then he told us that we should just go back to sleep.
It was way worse than that but due to privacy and my own memory this is all I can tell.
Today I became a rubber duck debugger 🐤
I was leaving from office and spotted my senior collegue sitting glued to the screen solving an issue. I sat along with him to embark on a debug adventure. I casually asked him about the issue and what might cause it. After a bit of discussion *bam* he figured out where the problem lies and solved it in an instant.
Quack quack off I run 🐤5
So today I got let go from my job.
I've worked for this company for about 2.5 years, and soon after joining I became the only IT resource for software. I had to support literally everything after they fired the rest of the team, but I did a great job and have been praised by all the management at the company.
A few months ago, after a salary review and a frank discussion with my boss and his boss, they agreed that I am due for a raise. They had a massive project coming up with a lot of extra expenses, but I was told that right afterward they would be giving raises.
I spent tons of late nights and weekends on this project, and we were able to get it mostly finished about a 1.5 months ago. I was instrumental in the project (the rest of the IT team didn't even know how to set up simple DNS records). An email was sent to the whole company thanking me for all the work I put into the project.
A week ago, I messaged my boss to ask about the status of raises as he had told me they should be going out at the beginning of this month. He said there won't be any raises, and that's all I heard. Then today I get a call telling me that they are letting me go.
Let me get this straight: you led me on with talk of a raise just to keep me here working long hours for your big project, and then you fire me after recognizing what a great job I did? That's just sick. I have watched them treat other employees and partners unethically, but it took getting it first hand to realize how bad it really is. My teammates were in shock when I said I was leaving as they have all leaned on me very heavily.
Fortunately, I have had several offers come in over the last few months (2 this week) for more pay. I only held off because of the lies I was told about receiving a raise and out of a false sense of loyalty. I'm not worried about my future at all, just angry at the way I was treated.30
I know I'm not on wifi. I get it. Sometimes data coverage isn't amazing or the network is congested. It's cool. You can just flash "no service" and I just won't try. or even "3G" and I'll have some patience. I rember how slow 3G was. It's okay, I'll wait.
But fucking stop showing 4G LTE if you can't make a fucking GET request for a 2kb text file in less than 5 minutes! Fucking really? Don't fucking lie to me with your false hope bullshit, just tell me the truth and I'll probably sigh and say shit and put my phone away.
But fuck you and your progress bar externally stuck in the middle. As if to say you're making progress! Wasting my time!
If you can't download a kilobyte in a 5min period, why even say I have data at all? What good does that do me?23
I started this 2 hours ago. Last time I checked, that wasn't a moment.8
Found this on discord.
Could be copypasta but I decided to share it anyway.
"I use Linux as my operating system," I state proudly to the unkempt, bearded man. He swivels around in his desk chair with a devilish gleam in his eyes, ready to mansplain with extreme precision. "Actually", he says with a grin, "Linux is just the kernel. You use GNU+Linux!' I don't miss a beat and reply with a smirk, "I use Alpine, a distro that doesn't include the GNU coreutils, or any other GNU code. It's Linux, but it's not GNU+Linux."
The smile quickly drops from the man's face. His body begins convulsing and he foams at the mouth and drops to the floor with a sickly thud. As he writhes around he screams "I-IT WAS COMPILED WITH GCC! THAT MEANS IT'S STILL GNU!" Coolly, I reply "If windows was compiled with gcc, would that make it GNU?" I interrupt his response with "-and work is being made on the kernel to make it more compiler-agnostic. Even you were correct, you wont be for long."
With a sickly wheeze, the last of the man's life is ejected from his body. He lies on the floor, cold and limp. I've womansplained him to death.14
The server room is guarded by three guards:
- One always tells the truth
- One always lies
- One stabs you if you ask tricky questions.8
After interviewing 3 candidates for software today, I have officially decided its time to seriously pursue creating a YouTube channel with a complete set of series to learn programming MY WAY... not the short cut way... this will go all the way to beginning and start the person up with a solid foundation to build on... I’m going to pour my knowledge into these series.
The education system has failed too many in the real world... to many people I have interviewed they think they know have a degree but are clueless.. this is unacceptable and a waste... AND way too often I see online “learn programming in 30 days or learn programming in a day”... fuck off it’s all lies .. all wrong.. wrong methods wrong philosophy and I’m done with it...
I’m set on doing it this time, I’ve put it off too long, and longer I put it off the more I see shitty interviews! Time to fix it69
Since I was little I was fascinated by club light shows I saw on TV shows. I just couldn't find out how they made light react to sound, which were two completely unrelated things to me back then. But I wasn't dumb and somehow figured out that if I hooked some low energy fairy lights to my amp and turned the bass up, they would lightup to the beat.
3 fried fairy lights and angry parents for to loud music later I swore to myself that I would someday build something that could light up my whole room and react to the music I was playing.
I started coding about the age 13 (turned 20 a month ago) with some old school bat scripts. But I wanted something that would generate a .exe so I googled and ended up installing Visual Studio Express (again angry parents for installing without asking) and started copying my first VB.Net program together. From there no one could stop me. I wanted to archive something with an application and googled until I found what I needed and learned to code this way.
I learned writing decent vb.net code and itvwas about this time I came into contact with IRC. I lurked arround there and this is were I came into contact with Linix servers, because I wanted to code IRC (eggdrop) bots, so I learned TCL and got used to Linux. Time passed and I ended uo being a Global OP on some network back then.
I did go further, coded Minecraft Mods, thus Java, changed back to C#, learned PHP and started setting things up on my VPS, Mails server, web server, etc.
Nowadays I work as a Systemadmin / Developer Hybrid, earning my first real money doing what I love to do and guess what? In the meantime I proved myself I can accomplish what I wanted as kid. I bought some Club LED DMX capital lights and programmed a controller for them which can control them in C#, but in a way I can run it on my raspi using mono. I also coded a client which runs on windows which uses some native libraries to calculate the dominant color of the shown picture in realtime (Handels 24fps 1080p) and uses the lights as ambient light, like you see them behind TVs sometimes.
The same app uses Bass.NET and an algorithm to dedect a beat in realtime and switches the light colors. Exactly what I wanted as akid, but better.
I can even control the lights via the new Google Assistant and/or Tasker.
Feels fcking good.
Some of my work lies on github among other, mostly trash: https://github.com/Kimmax - didn't updated there in a while tho.
I plan on writing a new free opensource plugin based modular home automatication server and pretty sure could use some helping hands..
I don't know why I wrote all this, just felt like it.
Also: first Rant
Please don't kill me for errors in the text, I'm to lazy to read through it again right now :P8
FUCK THE WORDPRESS ECOSYSTEM AND FUCK THE FUCKING ONE CLICK DEPLOYMENT LIES OH YES WITH WITH BITNAMI OFFERS YOU SHIT AND FUCK YOU FUCKK YOUUUU SERIOUSLY FUCK YOU MADE ME AN ANGRY AND SICK FUCK.6
The heavenly time window we're all thankfully entitled to!
Its where 90% of my productivity lies,
Its when 80% of my projects were developed,
Its when 'responsibility' synonymous to 'panic',
Its when i start to realise the dark and deep depths of the universe,
Its what gives me my purpose in life.2
Claims to prefer developing on windows
Does all development in an ubuntu vm
....I see through your lies sir4
April 30, 2058
GNU? Linux? Ha! How ancient! Everyone uses systemd-coreutils and systemd-kernel. Nobody needs those useless old programs. In fact, systemd is so good that even Microsoft recently released their own systemd distro, and adopted the motto: “We Really Do Love Open Source This Time”. To show their love for open source, they’ve released the source for Snipping Tool under a BSD license.
systemd is super lightweight! My system uses around 600 gigs of RAM, whereas Windows uses upwards of a terabyte! I currently use the systemd-gnome desktop environment. I used to use KDE Plasma 18, but it didn’t integrate well with the rest of my operating system. systemd-braininterface doesn’t work very well with my Nvidia graphics card, so I use systemd-x11 like a hipster.
I’ve had no regrets switching to systemd. I feel bad for those BSD nerds. What a laughing stock, sticking to POSIX. Nobody writes POSIX programs anymore.
I wonder what lies in the future for systemd... I hope they fix systemd-oomd.13
Still trying to get good.
The requirements are forever shifting, and so do the applied paradigms.
I think the first layer is learning about each paradigm.
You learn 5-10 languages/technologies, get a feeling for procedural/functional/OOP programming. You mess around with some electronics engineering, write a bit of assembly. You write an ugly GTK program, an Android todo app, check how OpenGL works. You learn about relational models, about graph databases, time series storage and key value caches. You learn about networking and protocols. You void the warranty of all the devices in your house at some point. You develop preferences for languages and systems. For certain periods of time, you even become an insufferable fanboy who claims that all databases should be replaced by MongoDB, or all applications should be written in C# -- no exceptions in your mind are possible, because you found the Perfect Thing. Temporarily.
Eventually, you get to the second layer: Instead of being a champion for a single cause, you start to see patterns of applicability.
You might have grown to prefer serverless microservice architectures driven by pub/sub event busses, but realize that some MVC framework is probably more suitable for a 5-employee company. You realize that development is not just about picking the best language and best architecture -- It's about pros and cons for every situation. You start to value consistency over hard rules. You realize that even respected books about computer science can sometimes contain lies -- or represent solutions which are only applicable to "spherical cows in a vacuum".
Then you get to the third layer: Which is about orchestrating migrations between paradigms without creating a bigger mess.
Your company started with a tiny MVC webshop written in PHP. There are now 300 employees and a few million lines of code, the framework more often gets in the way than it helps, the database is terribly strained. Big rewrite? Gradual refactor? Introduce new languages within the company or stick with what people know? Educate people about paradigms which might be more suitable, but which will feel unfamiliar? What leads to a better product, someone who is experienced with PHP, or someone just learning to use Typescript?
All that theoretical knowledge about superior paradigms won't help you now -- No clean slates! You have to build a skyscraper city to replace a swamp village while keeping the economy running, together with builders who have no clue what concrete even looks like. You might think "I'll throw my superior engineering against this, no harm done if it doesn't stick", but 9 out of 10 times that will just end in a mix of concrete rubble, corpses and mud.
I think I'm somewhere between 2 and 3.
I think I have most of the important knowledge about a wide array of languages, technologies and architectures.
I think I know how to come to a conclusion about what to use in which scenario -- most of the time.
But dealing with a giant legacy mess, transforming things into something better, without creating an ugly amalgamation of old and new systems blended together into an even bigger abomination? Nah, I don't think I'm fully there yet.9
I know this is not a dev joke, but I laughed so hard:
Father bought a lie detector that makes "beep" whenever somebody lies around it. The son comes home this afternoon.
Father ask him:
"So, you where at school today, right ?"
Son:"OK, OK, I was in a cinema"
Son:"Alright, I went for a beer with my friends."
Father:"What ?! At your age I would never touch alcohol!"
Mother laughs:"Ha ha ha, he really is your son!"
Let's see here, we have:
🤡 Creepy Cackle Guy: watches videos all day and cackles like a hyena, plus constantly farts, and complains a lot. He gets everyone gassed up, no pun intended.
😤Bitchy PM: argues with you about every little thing, lies to pad her metrics while screwing the dev's metrics over. Also lies about what clients say to force launch or what she feels client should do. Rude to clients & co-workers. Runs and tattles to higher ups when people call her out on her shit. Nobody can stand her, she get's the entire office upset.
🙉Darth Vader: I don't think this one needs explaining. He breathes SO freaking loud you can hear it across the room. He also won't talk to anybody. Ever.
🤐The Non-Stop Flapper: nice person, but chats you non stop about their mundane life events, even when your status is set to busy or they know you're swamped. Asks irrelevant questions all day, every day. Heart of gold but needs to reel in the chatting.
🤬 Mr.Rage: whines about EVERYTHING. I mean everything. Has also thrown his food on me once over a joke about pizza. Wants to move up to programming but cant program.
So between them all, I scream on the inside daily. 🙊😫😢13
I don't mind if you down vote my answers on stack-overflow. But unless you leave a better answer or a comment explaining why, you are a fucking troll and an asshole.
I MEAN, YOU SHOULD TAKE A BIG STEP BACK AND LITERALLY FUCK YOUR OWN FACE!!!!
You aren't helping me or others learn from our mistakes by showing us the better way.40
What was the biggest lies you heard about programming or programmers life.
Mine was: “programming is easy and high paying job.”
No it is not.12
My former team opened two different positions to replace me: senior computer vision engineer and senior computer graphics engineer.
If you combine the required experience years, it's roughly my age 😂
Talk about unrealistic and unnecessary job requirements....4
Project manager: We have 13weeks for this project. We have promised the client.
Me: okay, why wasnt I consulted on that commitment?
Project Manager: yeah.... we have to do it
Me: okay, if we have 2 dedicated backend and one full time frontend - ONLY on this project.
Project manager: (with the face of lies) yes yes sure we can do that.
6 weeks later, after continuous interruptions. Frontend is behind because he was only on the project to an amount of 2 weeks of the 6 weeks.
Project manager: Are we still on time?
Me: *looks around for prank cameras* no the f#*k we not
Project manager: can we put in weekends?
Me: its 2019 bro, that ain't happening
*But because I am a nice guy, and dont like taking Ls, we will have it ready. Just not gonna tell the project manager, he deserves a few sleepless nights *7
- If I buy x amount of ram | hard drive space | cpu power I will never need more.
- No need for version control | Tests. This is a small project
- git commit -m "changes" (its a small change. I will remember why I did it)
- It is too obvious that I put a lot of personal time in this so my boss will definitely notice!
- Why comment this simple method? Anyone should know what it does. Especially me!
- "this should never happen"
- This call can't be from work. Everyone knows I am on vacation.
- I will back up next week. It's not like it is going to crush today.
- It’s 11:30 already? I will work on this for only a half hour more and then I will definitely go to bed!
- This project will take x amount of time!2
[during a project discussion]
Client: We've been getting very low results on google lighthouse on the site
Me: The results are highly volatile, don't believe their lies
Client: *shares screen and runns lighthouse test*
Lighthouse test: 95
So the ceiling in our (upstairs) laundry room started leaking. After some troubleshooting, we determined it was the A/C, and not the water pipes. (The house is cheap as hell and fucking stupid.) We did some troubleshooting and research, and tried fixing it ourselves; no luck. Cleaning the pipes from outside: no joy. Cleaning the pipes from inside: no access. The attic is ... small. Maybe half a small closet? and doesn’t give access to fucking anything. The builders must have installed everything before putting up the walls and ceilings, sealing everything off, because there is no access. It’s fucking stupid. Also, the usual maintenance openings aren’t even there either because why the fuck would they be?
But fucking whatever.
We called an a/c repair guy, who never showed. We assumed he was busy (it’s fucking hot), so we called him again the next day; two days later he showed.
Guy didn’t bring a ladder. Whatever, we have one right there in the hallway because we’ve been trying in vain to fix it.
Guy didn’t bring a wrench of any kind. Guy didn’t bring a screwdriver. Guy didn’t bring a bucket. Guy didn’t bring any pipe. Or any pipe sealant. Or fucking anything but his sagging fucking pants, fat belly, and fat stench. We had to supply everything, which fortunately we had on hand as we were already trying to fix it. Hoorah for being proactive.
Guy said he drained both primary and secondary pans. Somehow. Without access. I’m not even convinced it HAS a secondary pan. Guy said he cleaned out the pipes, too. From inside the house. Without access. Somehow. Maybe he did that from outside, without tools, while I was chasing the brats and someone else was watching the fat bastard. Who knows; I wasn’t with him most of the time.
When he was done, the guy said “pay whatever you think it’s worth” (or whatever). Fine, if he actually cleaned the pipes out and it isn’t leaking anymore, that’s great.
We go up to check. AND THE FUCKING A/C IS STILL LEAKING. BUT NOW IT’S FROM BEFORE THE PIPES, TOO. AND HALF AN HOUR LATER, THE LAUDRY ROOM CEILING IS ALSO LEAKING, WHICH MEANS THE PIPES ARE STILL LEAKING.
It turns out the asshole broke the pan.
We call him back, he goes blah blah blah, we send him a video. Drip, drip, drip.
“The pan must be rusted.” IT’S FUCKING PLASTIC.
“Oh, in that case, it’s probably a rusted coil that’s leaking.”
a) HOW DID YOU NOT KNOW IT WAS FUCKING PLASTIC IF YOU DRAINED IT?
b) THE COILS CARRY FREON, NOT WATER, AND THE A/C IS STILL WORKING. IF THERE WAS A LEAK, SHIT WOULD BE HOT. AND RANK. FREON SMELLS NASTY AND DOESN’T CAUSE IT TO RAIN IN THE FUCKING HOUSE.
REPLACING A COIL IS ALSO A $2000 FUCKING REPAIR.
THE FAT BASTARD PROBABLY BROKE THE PAN INTENTIONALLY JUST TO UPSELL. I WANT TO FUCKING MURDER HIS LYING FUCKING FACE OFF.
It’s possible he didn’t break the pan intentionally, so I’ll tentatively remove that from his charges. BUT TO FUCKING LIE?
LIE AND DIE, FUCKER.9
I was called over by a colleague. She needed help because her computer kept telling her that she did not have permission to run certain programs or access certain files.
She logged in to Windows in front of me. The first thing that I noticed that the username was her office email address. I asked her about it.
Me: Why is your username your email address?
Her: It was this way when I got it.
Me: That is impossible. I made every Windows installation here and I always use the same username which is [companyname] as it is our policy.
Her: I'm telling you, this is the way it was when I got it.
Me: Are completely sure?
Her: Well.... someone else must have renamed it.
Me: So someone fired up your laptop, used your password to log in and changed the username to your email?
Her: I don't understand it either. Is it possible that it happened accidentally, on its own?
Then I explained to her that changing the username on Windows 10 may result in problems with file permissions.
I am not mad because she didn't know about this. I am mad because of her idiotic lies.6
I hate bullshit metrics, they are everywhere.
- 90% unlimited downloads (not unlimited then is it, dickface)
- you are 53% more likely to be noticed with a pro account (yeah, because you fucked with the algorithms)2
Me: So why did you drop the db?
Intern: I couldn't rename the Model I've just created.
Me: Your CV says you're a prolific Rails Dev.
Me: How many days you have left working here?
Me: Just take 3 months off work.13
So we are a development company, we have some remote coders.
This one is very good coding BUT
Sometimes he disappears and then comes back with an history, the other day he said his grandpa was about to die of cancer so he had to go to see him.
Three days ago, he had to finish a landing page manager, in React. just a form and unzip (nodejs server side) the files... It was not so difficult.
He said was going to finish later that day.
Then he disappeared, for 3 days!
And i got a message from him on facebook saying he got robbed and he was going to rent a laptop to continue working.
Then i asked if he had any progress on the code before that happened. and he started sending
me screenshots of the code , but in one screenshot i was able to see a part of the desktop background. Checked on the history of files @ Slack and that was his background lol.
Please guys , don't do these kind of things.
If he had told me that he needed to study or something i would have understood him
Now i feel i cant trust him anymore.
Moral: Lies/attitudes like these one can have a big negative effect on your life and you will miss some big opportunities!10
That moment when you listen to your boss' lies to a client when presenting a new product/feature.
I am like: damn, this guy is a talented actor!3
On my first dev job ever, I got sent to the client's office after studying CSS on my own for 2 weeks.
Client: "So, you're the great expert your manager told me about?"1
Development plus laboratories is kind of my expertise, so I ended up in a little grimey HR office looking out over the factory floor of a cocoa processing facility. I was applying for an automation job, a temp thing for three weeks, updating some ugly scripts which took readings from machines and threw them into excel sheets.
"We don't think a developer like you has enough experience working in an environment like this. Safety and working in sterile conditions is very important to us"
I had sent them my certifications in advance, plus references to the work I did in a biosafety level 3 lab for JnJ and cleanroom work at an aerospace company.
There were fat sweaty guys on sneakers, taking cocoa paste samples right next to the window.
They ended up hiring a friend of mine with zero experience, for minimum wage.
Just be fucking honest, don't waste my time with courtesies and lies. If they had just told me about the low salary indication, I would still have done the work. I was in between jobs anyway, bored, trying to fill up some spare time.4
(possibly political, but not really)
I think there's an under-reaction culture around covid19. People are mitigating it to be "just a bad flu" and keep bringing up the 2-3% death rate.
I see that people may have good intentions but spreading lies just to make it seem like the virus isn't bad is worse than the media overreacting.
I'm tired of people just repeating the same "ugh, calm down, it's just the flu!" Just because they don't want people to worry. While panic isn't good, disregard is worse.
The "bad flu" stage is only the second of three stages. Stage one is minor symptoms (so nobody cares if they are sick at this stage) coupled with patients being highly infectious (you can imagine, this is a bad combo)
Stage two is of course the famous "bad flu".
Stage three is fucking respiratory issues including pneumonia, AFTER you have already gone through stage two, which can be rough on its own.
The CDC (not any media) has issued warnings to those at high risk to stock up on supplies and medication they may need. As usual for this sort of stuff, the elderly and those with pre-existing conditions are in the high risk groups.
2% death rate (low end) is one in 50 people. That could be someone you know. 4% (high end) is one in just 25 people. That's the average high school class size where I live. That's a lot, that's pretty deadly.
Stop calling it a bad flu. Stop listening to people on Facebook, CNN, and devRant. Please visit the CDC, they are constantly giving updates.
They always say love and family is the best thing in the universe.
But thats fucking wrong !!!!!!
Seeing a bootanimation on your newly ported android is even better.4
Why does almost everyone act as if the world they live in is perfect, or is supposed to be perfect?
This is about approaching IT infrastructures, but goes way beyond IT, into daily lives.
Daniel Kahneman wrote about the "Econs" - a mythical creature that behaves according to rules and rational thoughts, that everybody is guided by, as opposed to Humans, who are irrational, intuitive and emotional.
My beef is with a wider perception, beyond economical analysis, profit, investment and so on.
Organization A uses a 15 year old system that is crappy beyond description, but any recent attempt to replace it have failed. Josh thinks that this is a crappy organization, any problem lies within the replacement of that system, and all resources should be devoted to that. Josh lives in a perfect world - where shit can be replaced, where people don't have to live with crappy systems. Josh is stupid, unless he can replace that old system with something better. Don't be Josh. Adapt to the fucking reality, unless you have the power to change it.
Peter is a moron who downloads pirated software with cracks, at the office. He introduced a ransomware that encrypted the entire company NAS. Peter was fired obviously, but Sylvia, the systems administrator, got off easily because Peter the moron was the scapegoat. Sylvia truly believes that it's not her fault, that Peter happened to be a cosmic overgrown lobotomized amoeba. Sylvia is a fucking idiot, because she didn't do backups, restrict access, etc. Because she relied on all people being rational and smart, as people in her imaginary world would be.
Amit finished a project for his company, which is a nice modern website frontend. Tom, the manager says that the website doesn't work with Internet Explorer 8, and Amit is outraged that Tom would even ask this, quoting that IE8 is a dinosaur that should've been euthanized before even hatching. Amit doesn't give a shit about the fact that 20% of the revenue comes from customers that use IE8, what's more important to him is that in his perfect imaginary world everybody uses new hardware and software, and if someone doesn't - it's their fault and that's final. Amit is a fucking asshole. Don't be like Amit.
React to the REAL world, not what you WANT the world to be. Otherwise you're one of them.
The real world can be determined by looking at all the fuck ups and bad situations, admit that they happen, that they're real, that they will keep happening unless you do something that will make them impossible to happen or exist.
Acting as if these bad things don't exist, or that they won't exist because someone would or should change it, is retarded.10
Netflix, why is your loading spinner so horrible!
Do you know what a percentage is??? 99% means you are ALMOST done. Just a tiny fraction to go. I should not see 99% for seconds or even minutes on end. Much less after the first 98% took only a couple seconds!!
Stop the lies!!!5
Common lies told by developers?
Here's one of mine: "It works on my screen".
I then proceed to ask them their specs while I think of the solution.6
THE RULES OF TECHNICAL SUPPORT
Rule #1: The Customer Lies
Rule #2: Rule #1 still applies when the customer is your coworker
Rule #3: Customers following instructions is like characters dying in a movie: if it didn't happen on-screen, it didn't happen.1
Why the fuck someone write "used linux to speed up development" in your resume. But when you have to use it, questions like "where to download git for linux?" appears?1
When I saw that the Zuckman was gonna go testify for congress I already knew that shit was gonna be retarded.
I had 0 expectations of congress asking the correct questions.
I was still disappointed. That is the beauty of my government. I have 0 expectations and they still disappoint me.
I love playing the devil's advocate. I really do, in this case and even tho I think Facebook is the most toxic shit on the internet (right next to SO) I could not help it but think the entire time that we aaaare told that all our date are belongs to them as soon as we put shit on their application. Its just the nature of the beast. Don't like it? Don't use it! But if you are gonna use it then account for the fact that your data will be used for targeted adds. It makes more sense, I would rather have an add for tutorials and books and shit like i normally get rather than knowing that 10 hot singles are in my area (because those are all lies 9 times out of 10) but then again I would rather not have any adds at all.
One has to account for all the money that fb pours into shit, where do people think fb makes that money from ..duh our data and adds. But shit was too hard to understand for Congress.8
What the hell is "4k mAh battery"? Come on guys, you know what that little 'm' means, please tell me you do.
You wouldn't say "4k miligrams". You wouldn't say "4k milliseconds". You wouldn't say "4k milliliters". So don't use "4k miliampere hours". It's dumb.
Just to be sure - everyone, repeat with me:
👏 0.000004 👏 MAh 👏 eqals
👏 0.004👏 kAh 👏 eqals
👏 4 👏 Ah 👏 eqals
👏 4000 👏 mAh 👏 eqals
👏 4000000 👏 nAh 👏
Thank for giving me 5k ms of your attention.20
My company is looking for a new React FE.
Just got a response to the add...
"I have 10 years experience with react and styled components."9
Something I can never understand with my boss. This really makes me concerned with the future of the company imo.
I was given a project contract with all of the specifications and how many hours I had to each assignment.
I did my work and I kept myself within the time limit.
Today my boss and I had a status meeting about the project. In which he had an addition to one of my features which would basically require us to start over with it. He started to blame not only me but also my coworker on why we didnt predict that HE would want this addition to the feature. We got into a heated discussion over him putting that blame on us. My point I stuck to, was that the responsibility of specifications lies in the person who briefs a worker, not the worker who is supposed to play guessing game of what the briefer want. He vehemently denied that is how things work.
He basically shushed me and said that is how the order of things go.
Am I in the wrong here?6
One small feature..
A flake of red pepper on a big plate of spaghetti..
One wrong move and everything could CHANGE.
In the hostile jungle of the Kumar, the Manoj, and the Lohar lies the maze-like spaghetti crop circles where skeletons of developers lost forever between classes and functions decorate the kingdom of doom.
Follow Johnny as he attempts to put that pepper on the big bad spaghetti monster. Will he survive? Or will he suffer the same fate as everyone else?
Spike up your blood pressure and waste your life in this eye-rolling, vein-popping, death-inducing action adventure film.
"Johnny Sins: The Meatballs Within"
In coding camps near you.5
If living and working in the UK wasn't hard enough as is for a student. This now happens and has, pretty much, screwed everything over.
Promoted lies, PM stepping down, value of pound dropping.
All going great! ☺️🔫4
Manager: Hey, what you working on?
Me: cough-finding another team-cough.
Manager: I didn't catch that.
Me: Sorry my throat is acting up today, i've been bug fixing all day.
Manager: Ah great, thanks.1
devRant Q&A: What is the biggest lie in technology?
My favourite is: OVER 3 BILLION DEVICES RUN JAVA9
> Johnny Johnny
> Yes Papa!
> Using Java?
> No Papa!
> Telling lies?
> No Papa!
> Open your mouth
Code never lies
Comments sometimes do
Code lies too, especially when you train a neural network 😂😂
Interviewing tip #2: If you're going to lie about what you do at your current job on your resume, remember what lies you put...10
“PHP is evil” is not just a joke.
PHP is usually percieved as a language which is not so consistent and has some opinionated historical aspects but allows rapid development because it’s easy. They say PHP doesn’t focus on that “purist shit” such as concepts and “just gets things done”.
Hovewer, this is not true. PHP lures you in and lies to you promising saving time on development, but everything, and I mean EVERYTHING written in PHP is doomed to turn into a bloody mess sooner or later.
You have to be an AI to manage the growing PHP codebase and add features without breaking anything. With every feature it gets harder and harder. If you’re still a human managing a human team, you have to enforce guidelines. Automatic error preventon measures are made of code themselves so the cost of deploying them ona late stage can be ridiculous. And you never deploy them on early stage because you want to “save time”. Your people have to spend more and more time everyday checking on that guidelines. Your development process only becomes slower and slower. If you try to push things, your project will crumble to dust.
To make PHP at least decent, you have to figure out all this by yourself on an early stage. When you’re done, you spent a lot of time creating the buggy, ad-hoc, unspecified and unsupported alternative of what works out of the box in other languages. And you still code in PHP and still have all its disadvantages in your project’s DNA.
PHP is evil because it promises and never delivers. PHP is evil because it lies to you and it already fucked over so many of us.
If you want to code in PHP, do it under your pillow. Code your own silly projects.
If your project has the word “production” somewhere in its plans, PHP is not the way to go.
TLDR; Go to bottom of post.
Around this time two years ago was the start of my group project in University. The project was to write an app in android and have a web side to it too. The group was to be overseen by a member of staff. The first meeting was introductions and to look at the spec, during the second we were to decide a group leader (PM) and other positions.
A person I shall call BD and I volunteered for PM. I didn't have experience with leadership but wanted some, and was the only one with confidence in android, the biggest part of the system. I got four of the votes.
BD, with his scouts experience, not being afraid to breathe down people's necks and bash some heads together, and having been PM last year, with his group receiving 69% (he failed the year and was resitting), earned 5. One guy was missing.
When it came to sorting out roles and responsibilities, BD confessed to not being a strong coder but that he'd help here and there. His role was planning our deadlines, doing our Gantt chart for deliverables, and was supposed to write a really detailed spec. He didn't have it at the meeting of the next week, as it was still in the works, and never messaged anyone. Next week he turned up with a Gantt chart of 1A4 page that only included the deadlines and deliverables in the spec, with three colours. One for android team, one for DB guy, and one for web team.
The guy who didn't turn up for voting got a girlfriend, a job at mcdonalds and did barely a thing. One guy in the web team did everything, carrying his friend who wouldn't do work (and also got swept out to see in a rubber boat with one of his bros lol (he was rescued)), and even though I'd done android dev I wasn't as quick a learner as two others in the team. Out of 10 people, 6 did real work.
The web guys stopped coming to meetings as they were taken over by android talk, and as we were quite behind, BG tried yellow carding them. They turned around with the website pretty much done, this one guy doing more than the 4 of us on android had. Yellow card lifted. We'd already complained about BD and his lack of everything (except screen brightness as he sat at the front of the lecture theatres with his wide brimmed hat looking at 9gag and videos (remembering he said he was resitting that year)) but grew a stronger dislike. Found out that he spent most of his time with his gf at our secretary/fellow android dev's house. Come coding week, he disappears entirely, only to attend meetings. He gave us a shell of the android code used for his previous year's project (along with documentation, complete with names and dates of updates, most of them (including the planning ones BD was supposed to do) bearing either one of two names. It was behind where we were at the time and had a lot of differences to our spec, and if we had used it BD may have used that to pull us down with him if things went wrong. He resurfaced at the end with the final documentation of how we'd all done, including reports on how each member had performed, which we were supposed to have reviewed. Our main, most proficient dev he accused of being irritable and brash, and a bad communicator. He was Norwegian, his voice was just a bit gruff, and he was driven and didn't waste time. He bashed the web team for not turning up, and had already been rude and unhelpful to everyone who voted for him in the first place.
In our own reports we all devoted paragraphs to delicately describing his contributions, excluding his suggestion that we use the code he gave us. Before we had our results and our work was completed, he individually kicked us from our group's facebook group and unfriended us.
Our 43% mark at the end, coupled with his -40% penalty from the red card we had him on, felt good, but not as good as a better result would have, especially as the fool that was BD would be inflicted on a group a third time. He changed to some other course after that year finished, so he must have failed his resit of second year.
During third year, a friend of mine who was PM for a group that passed well passed other things with too slim a margin to be happy, so chose to resit the year. He didn't have to do the group project again, and had that time free. But BD had to resit. His group had 69%. A yellow card with a 20% deduction wouldn't do it, so he MUST have had a red card as PM his previous year. Well that didn't come up when he claimed credit for his team's 69% during elections... My housemate's compsci boyfriend 2 years up overheard me talking about him, he was in 1st year with BD. BD failed and resat 1st year too. 4 years and he couldn't make anything stick. I feel bad for him through understanding the pains lack of work and internet distraction bring, and unfortunately I can't wish bad things on him because he brings them on himself. I wish I never see his face again though.
TLDR; Guy in group project lies and is dishonest from start to finish, getting PM pos by 1 vote. Gets what he earns.2
Teacher: The exam subjects will be entirely from what we worked in class.
Narrator: The exam subjects will not be even close to what they worked in class.2
So I fucked up.. I assigned a small wordpress/woocommerce project to myself to avoid my team members from wasting their time on it. I had a two month deadline, which was insane, so I kept postponing it until I forgot about it. Today my client contacted me by email to ask if she could preview the site before our meeting in two weeks..
QUE BULLSHIT EXCUSE:
- “I had to migrate to another server because of some access/permission issues with my current host. They gave me their word that they would be done with the migration thursday or friday, then I have to correct some permissions and database settings, and the DNS update may take up to 24 hours to finish. I will personally make sure that you know as soon as the migration has finished.”
- “Thank you so much! I feel so safe having assigned your company the job! I am really looking forward to our meeting and seeing the site!”
Oh and did I mention that deadline was around 65 days ago? And that I haven’t even started yet? I know what I’ll be doing for the next 6 days..3
I am going to post cryptic ass shit on y'alls shit that gives over a fake sense of me knowing what I am talking about in terms of faking my credentials from working on big companies and having tons of knowledge of software development in an effort to convince you all in of my credentials to get massive upvotes by making you all think I am intellectually and technologically superior to you in multiple senses! I will use a thesaurus for this btw! not my general day to day speech! after all, it will give my fake ideals of credibility more success and acceptance! remember! i worked for all companies starving kids in different parts of the world did! nothing but my word for it!
Some people really need to consider the shit they read online from people that have been caught bullshitting all the time.
9/10 your shit is good enough, stop letting phonies make you feel inadecuate over their supposed success in this works ffs19
So, I'm investigating this flipping problem at work involving mbeans. Other than the fact that it's a fun fucking word to say, idk a damn thing about it, and the people who are having problems with them/it are looking at me like I'm a fucking pregnant triceratops... HOW THE HELL am I supposed to fix your shit if you aren't going to tell me why you need mbeans, what you do to cause the error, and what you do to make it go away. YOU'RE GIVING ME LESS THAN NOTHING... on a temperature scale, we're in negative Kelvin...
Also, anyone know what in the world an mbean in? Because right now, these overpaid idiots are making me think it's not a thing and just another way of saying "coffee"10
Today someone asked me how long I programmed for iOS, Told him I started really mastering iOS development since Swift was released, as I didn’t really focus on Objective C. He told me if I need any help, just ask him as he develops for iOS since two decenia... He calls himself a Senior web developer. First of all what has web development to do with iOS? And how the f*** can he program for iOS if it didn’t exist at that time.
It’s not because I’m a student I’m that thumb...
learnt the lesson not to believe everything everyone sais.10
Ok... So iPhone X cames with 3gb ram and 2.7 mAh battery....
Fuck the new Xiami that costs 1/4 comes with 4gb ram and a 4mAh battery...6
I (don't) like how some people say "If your code needs comments, your code is probably ugly and should be rewritten".
Well, asshats. You have never considered complex calculations/functions or "temporary" workarounds, right?
Sometimes, you have to do it in a not-very-readable way for efficiency. There is no way around that in that case, and comments that either explain the code below or provide alternative, slower code that's commented really help others understand your code.
If I ever work with you and you don't bother commenting your code at all (or rather use slow code because more efficient code doesn't appeal to your "muh code dun need comments" approach), I will hate you.6
I know political stuff isn’t appreciated here. Still this needs to be said— Elon Musk. Your mums a hoe. Deal with it. And these are the people who are being advertised as “success figures” to the youth. The current youth must wake up from this sea of lies, for the sake of humanity.16
The statistics group where my friend works wrote a paper about the cost, both economical and in human lives, of the lockdown strategy in the UK. And in purely mathematical terms, this strategy was not a great success, to say the least. They were rejected from several journals, with one them writing back to say that while the work is solid, "it's not a message they want to advertise".
Science, my friends.8
Guy sees me on my laptop and says "is that Linux?". I say yes then he says he is into computer "stuff and can hack anything". Not having a clue what that means I replied with a "awesome".
I don't have really any friends that are into "computers", so I decided to play ball.
I asked, "Are you into coding?.. he says, "Yes". Then I ask, " What languages?" He says, " Just what ever, anything really, it depends on what I am doing."
At this point I understand what is going on but it is so awkward. He continues.. "Recently I used.. what's it called abd or adb, you know I like rooted my phone"...
And let's talk about something else....
Why do people feel the need to lie or whatever you might call what happened. It might be different I think if he wasn't about 40.
I feel like this is a pretty common story2
//Just a rant inspiried by another rant.
I doubt most people heard about steganography.
At least normal people (But we are not normal we are nerds and geeks).
I wont explain what it is thats what duckduckgo is here for(Yeah fuck Google).
Its used normally as good encryptin method to hide data in plain sigth.
Its just so awesome to get a image and after working on it you get message or anything the person hide in it.
Its also very much used in serius riddles (Do Not beleive his lies)(Also now im at level 48)
Its just damn fun.
If you like hard challenge and hard puzzles give it a go. At least you will learn something new and usefull.5
From the 100+ employees in our team I was the only one without a company car.
After a couple of years and having driven across Europe for all sorts of business-related stuff, I asked one myself because my own rusty car was failing on me more and more. I was told it was against company policy to give me one which was total BS ofcourse.
This among other lies which I discovered led me to ragequit. BEST decision so far.
Working olmost 6 years for my current employer and never have I been (feeling) cheated on!
For the last 4-5 months the boss hasn't paid our wages complete. Since then he has promised over and over that he will pay all that he owes us, and we (most of us, anyway, the smart ones already leave) like fools believed in him.
The boss still is lying to us, the same lies over and over (i think he believes them himself)
YOU FOOL, NOBODY BELIEVES YOUR LIES, SHOW ME THE MONEY. DAMMIT!
I'll leave the job and very posibly sue him at the end of this month. Took me long enough. I'm not a smart man...5
New boss gets us to work overtime, all weekend and till 9pm. Promising that we will get that time back.
We get the project through the door. His KPI looks great to his boss. He then slithers his way around hints about this time back. Someone confronted him today and he says he can't officially recognise the over time due to company policy. The fucker.9
meme says python lives on land because it is above c-level but was developed in amsterdam which is below sea level
stop reposting lies.1
I need some puzzles. FFS "Do not beleive his lies" holded me for 2 weeks and then i reached level 48.
I dont have anymore puzzles to solve.
If you create some good cryptography or steganography puzzle sent it to me.11
Too many people are such unreliable pieces of shit. I am tired of getting up and working with Charles Bukowski developers who think code is everything, teaching juniors who might be better off not learning this shit at all, and talking to managers who pretend to care more about your safety.
The lies you tell us. The lies you tell yourselves. I'm so tired of the lies and the hidden agendas. I'm tired of mistrusting people but at the same time, I can't fucking help it. Every goddamn time I think "this person's pretty cool", I find out that they are lying or hiding something. Same shit, different package. A decent person is almost too good to be true.
I understand that in a business setting, you can't always tell the truth but some lies are unnecessary. You don't have to be super friendly to someone you don't like, just deliver the fucking product and quit it with your "we are family" kind of bullshit. I don't understand why you make your lives harder and why you find it so hard to tell the truth.
I'm fucking disgusted. I don't want to work anymore. I don''t want to talk to anyone anymore. I just want to quit this fucking job and sleep in my room for weeks.
Everyone lies. Nothing makes sense. There's no fucking hope. Give up, you dreamy cunt.3
Just me getting angry about the reaction after the Cambridge-scandal?
The news are spamming it every hour, and suddenly everyone is "well aware about my privacy" and deleting their Facebooks.
I mean, as if we didn't know this all along. O-fucking-course your data is stored and sold for adds, you accepted it when you wanted to "see which celebrity you are alike"!
I walk around and talk about privacy with people kinda a lot, and nobody seems to care. And then this happens, and people are going nuts. Waow, what a surprise!
Haha, have a nice evening DevRanters! ;) (20:55)@swe15
C++ tough me that having 2 or 3 friends is ok in some situations, but its best to avoid them when possible.
Also, you cannot have friends outside of class.4
I used to collect rubber ducks back in college. I was absolutely crazy about it and tried getting my hands on almost all different types available like the Punk duck, the Pirate duck, the Weed duck....and so on.
I met this girl who was into the same thing and we ended up banding together to create a sort of webpage where we'd write crazy and hilarious origin stories for each of these ducks. We'd go to great lengths to create ridiculous comic book style encounters between them and had a lot of fun doing it.
We dated for a while but it didn't last.3
What good is a developer focused avatar WITH NO NECKBEARD!!! This is heresy, damnit. I demand a neckbeard on the next patch or we riot! Nobody is that cleanly groomed, these avatars are all lies.6
When a manager asks if you can implement a feature (their are legitimately not sure if it is even possible) and you say yes and they say, "Good, 'cause I already assured the client that we would provide it on the next release"
Like, what the actual fuck...1
i dreamed a parallel reality
not even fking joking rn
it was MORE REAL THAN THE REALITY WE LIVE HERE
IT WAS LITERALLY LIKE I FKING LIVED IN ANOTHER REALM
this has never happened to me before ever
this shit woke me up at about 4:30 AM and i couldnt sleep for the rest of the fking day
i slept for 1h 30min
after i woke up it took me a couple of minutes to figure out if that realm was the base reality or if this current realm the reality we live in is the real base reality....
i wass fuckjgm lost !
there were 2 identical scenes that happened to me in the first and second realm
but both scenes had a different outcome, the realm i was in the dream had such a good outcome that it felt too good to be real BECAUSE I FKING DREAMED OF EXPERIENCING THAT I ACHIEVED HALF OF MY DREAM, WITHIN THE DREAM
And when i woke up and realized i returned back to this fucking realm i was so goddamn disappointed that i just wanted to go back to fkig sleep and just.. die
what the fuck
my brain is overwhelmed with bullshit and lies so much that i can not distinguish what is fake and what is real
fuck, eeverything in this existence13
We had a video conference with some external collaborators. The boss treated them as clients but I didn't realize that, so I thought I could be honest with them and I said that the efficiency of the system could still be improved.
The boss suddenly stop the audio (but not the video) of the call and yelled at me: «You mustn't say that our system is not efficient!»
The team on the other side clearly understood what happened.
I spent the rest of the meeting staring at the wall.2
I just tried Quantum and Chrome at my school libraries computer (4GB RAM).
Both times I tried opening my website (only one tab) and besides Quantum not even showing my website but a white loading circle... Here are both RAM usages..22
My deepest regret is believing lies about OOP, during my education.
1. It is the best way to model a software, easier to think about objects and relationships: no it is not.
2. It increases reusability: I have seen people invwnting base classes to justify.
Are there any lies you regret believing that you believed during your education?12
In Germany we have something called "Rundfunkbeitrag" (aka GEZ-Gebühr a long time ago).
The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is something that you have to pay for even if you don't own a TV, watch TV, listen to a radio station etc and consume ARD, ZDF and Deutschlandradios' radio services and online services (as in news sections for example).
That's pure scam.
The "Rundfunkbeitrag" is basically broadcast contribution.
Is there any country that is not forcing you to pay for something you don't own and/or consume?
I, for one, don't watch TV, never consume their services and don't listen to radio. There are better alternatives.
We, as a society, will even pay for the amount of air we breathe in and out in the future. That might sound like bullshit to you, but just take a look around yourself and face the reality for once. We get scammed from all sides, don't we?
How unlikely can that be to happen in the future?
We literally get gang banged with "GDPR", "Imprint", "Rundfunkbeitrag", "Media lies (rather subjective)" and other things in Germany.
Again, if there are better alternatives let me know.24
Can somebody please explain to my boss that using a progressive loading bar when you've got no metrics to base the progression on is stupid. Pls.3
OK, I have a dilemma and I need some developers helps. I'm going to tell you about myself. I am 19 and have been programming since I was 11. I consider myself a full stack web developer and that is where my passion lies... I love web development. The problem is that I am currently studying comp sci at a top 10 uni and I don't really like it. I kind of enjoy it, however, I am mostly doing it for the degree because my goal is to move to the valley (currently in the UK). I'm not sure whether I should pursue this degree because it's interesting and tbh I might just need time to get used to uni life or should I just go for it in the industry?6
I had semi-jokingly changed my username from dextel2 to nothappy, because of that one bad day.
But, it is now when I realized that I am actually NOT HAPPY, things are lately rough, I am constantly scared for no reason, I doubt my skills, I doubt myself for no reason, and top of that there's always a chance for another epileptic attack.
I tried and keep trying to distract myself from negative thoughts but the more I try the more I fail, I've become distant with my younger brother, for the record I'm very overprotective about him. I don't even know if he feels the same, as this year ends or every day passes by I feel changed from my past self (not in a good way).
Switched my first job to get another good job, turns out they don't even have any projects and I'm just a guy they are showcasing like they have ONE amateur developer and we are looking for an entire project and it did work for one client which I'm gonna deny personally because the client is not clear about the project itself, I do not care about the consequences, my heart lies in academics and I'll put my 100% in academics, shall I'm kicked.
A lot has happened in this year, but this one is/was unique and very hard to process. I've always been joyful, sarcastic, funny, you name it, but all of it has just vanished, don't know why. I'm also becoming distant from my ONLY 3 friends and parents.8
Beware: Here lies a cautionary tale about shared hosting, backups, and -goes without saying- WordPress.
1. Got a call from a client saying their site presented an issue with a third-party add-on. The vendor asked us to grant him access to our staging copy.
2. Their staging copy, apparently, never got duplicated correctly because, for security reasons, their in-house dev changed the name of the wp-content folder. That broke their staging algo. So no staging site.
3. In order to recreate the staging site, we had to reset everything back to WP defaults. Including, for some reason, absolute paths inside the database. A huge fucking database. Because WordPress.
4. Made the changes directly in a downloaded sql file. Shared hosting, obviously, had an upload limit smaller to the actual database.
5. Spent half an hour trying to upload table by table to no avail.
6. In-house uploads a new, fixed database with the help of the shared hosting provider.
7. Database has the wrong path. Again.
8. In-house performs massive Find and Replace through phpMyAdmin on the production server.
9. Obviously, MySQL crashes instantly and the site gets blocked for over 3 hours for exceeding shared hosting limits.
10. Hosting provider refuses to accept this was caused by such a stupid act and says site needs to be checked because queries are too slow.
11. We are gouging our eyeballs as we see an in-house vs. hosting fight unfold. So we decide to watch a whole Netflix documentary in between.
12. Finally, the hosting folds and enables access to the site, which is obvi not working because, you know, wrong paths.
13. Documentary finishes. We log in again, click restore from backup. Go to bed. Client phones to bless us. Client’s in-house dev probably looking for a cardboard box to pack his stuff first thing in the morning. \_(ツ)_/¯
I always read the full job description whenever there's a job hiring.
I have a keen eye in some job description that this company is a red flag.
"Must have 4 years of experience in Blazor or other related web development"
"Be a multitasker"
"Must have experience in frontend web development using Figma or other prototyping tools"2
Oh so you have a merge conflict this weekend? The only time of the week I try not to think of ripping your nob off, tying a noose around your neck with it and drowning you in a well full of piranhas? Right, right...
How about you take that dick that you've been trying to locate since you were 5 and practice choking on it every day till you die just so you have enough experience to suck demon dongs in hell for eterniity! I seriously hope you die of cancer you fucking wankstain!
How about you go home and keep disappointing that whore of a wife of yours, you know that stinking pile of shit that you stick your dick in every two weeks?2
Do not touch Salesforce.
Especially Salesforce Marketing Cloud.
It is a fucking joke this product even exists. Buy Hubspot instead. Marketing Cloud is the single worst piece of software I have had to implement out of 4 years working in software and a lifetime working in tech.
Literally nothing works. You click a button and bam, nothing. The UI actively lies to the user. Nothing is guaranteed to work and support is some guy in India who shrugs his shoulders and walks away. Things will randomly break and warning messages are tiny, indecipherable babble that mean nothing.
If you are dev, walk away. If you are a potential customer, walk away. This company DESERVES a bad reputation for the absolute heap of dogshit that is Marketing Cloud.
The worst part is that it's likely going to affect my job and my career because of how fucking dogshit it is.
Fuck Salesforce in case the messaging isn't clear.5
So I am interning at this company, and I am Coding in Go.
Now I don't have much exp with go so I'm learning it, and all of my team is cool cause they also had to learn Go. Anyways I am just petty intern-dev so everyone and everything is cool.
Migrating from python to go is quite hard.
Unlearn, You must.
What I have imagined Go, to be is:
While python has this top down approach to inheritance and polymorphism, Go has bottom up approach.
In Python child classes are derived from parent class but In Go child classes create a parent class. (this might be totally wrong, but that's how I've imagined golang)
Go is static wrt dynamic python.
I have coded in C for 1.5 years then I switched to python, so I feel that am familiar with static typing. The path that lies ahead of me shouldn't be too hard.
I would like to take a step further and say that Golang is C, but with modern syntax/semantics. It derives many of its features from newer langs like js, Python, etc while being a compiled language which translated directly to machine code.
That's all 😊
My team members are really great and supportive, I am about 10 years younger than them but we still connect and sync.
Everything is Great, Life is Good ❤️2
I'm about to lose my freaking mind on intellij. Ran my tests yesterday and everything was good. I added a new method and a new test case today and suddenly no tests are found. Well they didn't go anywhere!! "Class not found, empty test suite" ... Lies! I've been messing with configurations for over an hour now. I just want to run my tests...1
The place I currently work at has got this culture of ignoring developers.
Deadlines get made by 3rd parties and project managers who don't have the technical nounce or experience of our system to make a call on deadlines.
Demos of products are arranged without a discussion with developers as to whether said component will be ready on that date.
3rd parties make decisions about future architecture, offer to assist, then disappear for days on end, to only come back and make out as though they've not been holding us up.
Upper management take no interest, don't listen to the people they pay to do a job.
Currently just moved a PHP web app into a multi tenant scalable EBS environment, but apparently it's not worth asking our view on technical aspects of the business before the shit hits the fan.
Lies to clients about documentation and policies, for example, claims from Sales we have a DR and BCP plan, client called is out, they sent a 2 paragraph A4 document to the client claiming it was our DR and BCP plan without talking to anyone technical, including myself who has years of DR experience. Embarrassing.
Could go on, but rant over.2
A few days after the vacation, daddy (me) finally finished copying all the photos from the digital camera to the big external hard drive. Left it lying in the living room, in the corner where all the tech stuff frequently lies. In come my boys, and I'm not sure why, they start plugging power supplies around. Unfortunately the one from the laptop fit into the hole on the external disk, but had a different (higher) voltage. Result: 1 fried hard drive, containing all the baby photos and videos of said boys up that time.
I still believe that it's only the circuit board that is fried, and the data is still all there. I still have the hope to find a used disk, replace the board and all will be back.5
OK Mr CEO/President whatever self aggrandizing title you want to call yourself today, where the fuck is your spine! You want to have support help boost your sales but don't tell sales that you are letting support handle some sales and sales is mad. Now you are quivering under the thumb of the Lead of Sales. What the hell. You are the leader of this company.
Why did you not stand up for your decision to begin with? I'm not going to get into whether or not it was good, but if you are going to make a decision to experiment with new things fucking stand by it and let everyone in the company know.
You've exacerbated the division between departments and ton this company further apart. If you don't start standing up for things, you are going to destroy all that you've helped build! Furthermore, I will not simply be your loyal vassal and watch all the people doing support for my products get fucked over. I will leave you high and dry if needed. I really hope you don't make it needed. You gave me a great shot to be honest, I'd hate to have to turn my back on you in anger. But don't think for a second I won't do it.
Your entire programming department has also been put in the cross fire of a fight you just made so much worse. You are the only one who can clean this up. Are you going to stand up for us? Are you gonna stand up for your self? Or will you just break and show us where the real power lies? We will find out soon.2
So today a Windows sysadmin told me the Registry is a part of Windows he "doesn't know so well" 😂 and the worst part is the faith of about 1000 users lies in his hands 🤦♂️8
On the positive note, I just installed win 10 on my PC, so I can finally play some MMO with my gf with more than 30 seconds per frame. Needless to say, my first installs were Msys2 and gvim :)
PS, any suggestions on a free casual MMO we could play together? I was thinking about TERA, but not set on anything yet.17
So for those of you keeping track, I've become a bit of a data munger of late, something that is both interesting and somewhat frustrating.
I work with a variety of enterprise data sources. Those of you who have done enterprise work will know what I mean. Forget lovely Web APIs with proper authentication and JSON fed by well-known open source libraries. No, I've got the output from an AS/400 to deal with (For the youngsters amongst you, AS/400 is a 1980s IBM mainframe-ish operating system that oriiganlly ran on 48-bit computers). I've got EDIFACT to deal with (for the youngsters amongst you: EDIFACT is the 1980s precursor to XML. It's all cryptic codes, + delimited fields and ' delimited lines) and I've got legacy databases to massage into newer formats, all for what is laughably called my "data warehouse".
But of course, the one system that actually gives me serious problems is the most modern one. It's web-based, on internal servers. It's got all the late-naughties buzzowrds in web development, such as AJAX and JQuery. And it now has a "Web Service" interface at the request of the bosses, that I have to use.
The programmers of this system have based it on that very well-known database: Intersystems Caché. This is an Object Database, and doesn't have an SQL driver by default, so I'm basically required to use this "Web Service".
Let's put aside the poor security. I basically pass a hard-coded human readable string as password in a password field in the GET parameters. This is a step up from no security, to be fair, though not much.
It's the fact that the thing lies. All the files it spits out start with that fateful string: '<?xml version="1.0" encoding="ISO-8859-1"?>' and it lies.
It's all UTF-8, which has made some of my parsers choke, when they're expecting latin-1.
But no, the real lie is the fact that IT IS NOT WELL-FORMED XML. Let alone Valid.
THERE IS NO ROOT ELEMENT!
So now, I have to waste my time writing a proxy for this "web service" that rewrites the XML encoding string on these files, and adds a root element, just so I can spit it at an XML parser. This means added infrastructure for my data munging, and more potential bugs introduced or points of failure.
Let's just say that the developers of this system don't really cope with people wanting to integrate with them. It's amazing that they manage to integrate with third parties at all...2
Easy. I've learn Bash, Python and Java just by constantly getting assigned to projects that require those languages. Also tiny bit of Perl, but I don't want to talk about this.
I was hired as a C++ developer BTW and never had contact with those languages.
Reply to a recruiter today quoting her email:
You will end up with more qualified people if you don't use blatantly fictitious statements like. "While it's not often that I like to email people I don' t know (especially those in different cities!)" You're a recruiter using LinkedIn, the activity of recruiting is partially doing exactly the above.
No interest, have a good day.
Anybody here playing Do not believe his lies too ?
If yes share which level you are on.
I'm on 33 and just need PC to solve it. (Tomorrow I will beat it)
Also I started 2 days ago.
Maaaaaaan its just amazing game.
The puzzles are really hard.
If you like puzzles and you solved almost all popular hard puzzle games on GPlay (Like I did) then well give this one a try.
No one solved it before but well that cannot stop me.4
Reasons i hate Christmas #147
I have job interview tomorrow (27th) and i my hair looks like bum of a vulture with diarrhea
Near me is at least 15 barbershops.
NOT. A. SINGLE. ONE. OPEN. UNTIL TOMORROW
BECAUSE OF CHRISTMAS
Why the fuck has this holiday of manipulation and lies and misery and shit to have so huge impact on normal flow of life for so many days!
iiiii fffffuckingg hate articles that just explain something
put a piece of code
that piece of code uses X amount of classes/models
they never mention what structure are those models/classes made of
what is inside them
i cant continue following the article because i dont know what is inside them
they just put it in ur face and say Fuck you
my nerves are torn
what is life
what are doing
why are doing this
what is the point of living
how long does it take for a man to die
why are some people blessed with luck and some are not
u know what is even more frustrating
ohdont get me started on this topic
well i warned u
the path towards abundance lies upon the few; thou who shalt not risk high; shalt always stay thus low
girls also frustrate me bc
i always do every thing nice and im always nice
so i realized
being nice is fake as fuck and doesnt fuckin work
being urself doesn't do a Fckimg tHING
in this hardlife
only the strong survive in this world
- tupac shakur
so yes bavk where i was saying girls frustrate me because i always do what im supposed to
i tried being thou who shalt i am not
guess what mothrfucker
it works when u be a gofdamn fkig low mothfckr a u know a goddmn fkig punk then they respect u and want u
back i fckked up
i turned back to my real me, the nice me
and then they left me
they think being nice = means being weak
kindness != weakness
U FCKING WHORES
i just wanted to have a walk outside and thenit started raining
so i had to stay inside bc of the rain
i am very lonely
u know i was very fine when i was lonely at a very young age but now i need a living entity beside me
i fking need
wait i will cuddle my fluffy dog rn maybe i will feel better
br b wait for me ok
i feel better now
i remembered that goddamn girl again
man i feel so heart broken
i have sunk into the deepest depths of endless depression I think
it doesnt feel nice
it feels very lonely and depressing down here
but i thimk tjat is be because i care too much
some people say i overthink
I dont overthink
i am like the stealth people
the shadow people
i stay quiet and observe
i always know what is happening but i rarely speak about it
and people dont realize
so they think they can fool me
everything has its limits
so much lies that im sick of it
i always tell it how it is
i always reward those who help me
i always help those who help me
i never forget those people
why is it that people who dont give a single fucking Fffffficxkkckck about me
are the ssame people i almost care the MOST?
i cross hundreds and thousands of miles to visit a person, invest hours of my time to do that
i do that....
and they wouldnt even step 1 foot in front to see me....
what kind of life is this
feel like cryin rn
i dont understand what one must do
what is the point
all i want is to be happy
that is it
but being happy is.... i wanted to say the hardest part of life but now my voice told me being happy is a state of mind
myself answered me that being happy ? is a state of mind?
so that means if i want to be happy even if everything around me is falling apart
in my mind i can create a psychological world that would make me.... happy ....?
i dont understand what did myself tell me
why do i care so much if im lonely
u know my friend from college we go to same computer science college
hes a very smart man but a fake FUCKING friend, plastic as fuck
he reads philosophy booms and told me
"when a man is lonely for long enough, he will slowly start to fall apart"
that is me...... that is ...truth......
he quoted a philosopher from some book
he also said a quote he read about the meaning of life
"this life is endless pain and the only purpose of life is to reduce this pain as much as possible so we can be happy"
what the fck that is incredibly depressing
what the fuck im actually crying rn
i feel stabbed in the back and left behind and cheated on, all of those happened and some of them are happening right now
dont know what to think about the reasons
all of this causes me such huge anger and depression and that is whT keeps me going
going by working harder than i am supposed to
without all this hurt there would be no glory
all this effort..... it better pay off at the end...... please God..... i beg you....
i have completed 50% of my life purpose, let me do the rest so i can die in peace...13
Front end developer is still getting a ticket even though the security flaw lies in the back-end.
Today, every click of the UI has an overlay of circular progress indicator indicates that there will be a synchronous actions in an asynchronous requests.
1 click = 1 loading state
Why do popular media paint "programming" as easy... this is a very big deciet. please let stop this lies.
programming is not for everyone, not everybody can code.
and please dump the f**king "Girls can code" slogan.
there is no need for the hype.13
If I make a mistake I own up to it,
Its important I think to just be straight with people.
I do think a lot of devs.... Skirt the truth 🤔 least the ones I worked with1
Well, it happened. They ripped me off...
They promissed the world and they delivered nothing.
All bets are off. From now on, I am not responsible for my actions.7
Hearing a recruiter saying "Which country are you interested?" And knowing that almost no one has been offered a relocation.1
I know our school is shitty as hell, that there is a fucking monitor missing and cables flying around.
BUT DON'T DARE TO LIE TO ME AGAIN. "Can you please move one to the right you're blocking the chair and we want to sit together". YES I KNOW. BUT DO YOU HAVE SEEN, THERE IS A FUCKING COMPUTER MISSING, MAYBE THAT'S WHY I AM SITTING HERE, NOT BECAUSE I'M DUMB AS FUCK AND DON'T SEE I AM BLOCKING A CHAIR!
"We can change later, but we want to sit here for now"
OH YEAH I KNOW. LIKE THE 20 OTHER TIMES YOU LIED TO ME WITH THAT IT'S JUST TEMPORARY. And then you come with come on don't be so childish and your friends start doing so too. WHY CAN'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ONE TIME ON MY FUCKING PLACE AND STOP ANNOYING ME AS HELL JUST BECAUSE PEOPLE FOLLOW YOU AND LET ME JUST SIT AT MY FUCKING PLACE.
I AM NOT CHILDISH, I AM JUST NOT BELIEVING IN THESE LIES. WHY WOULD YOU WANT TO SIT THERE TEMPORARY? IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE...3
I can’t control my thoughts.
When someone says “wrap your head around” something, I imagine it. It happens every time.
It’s always 50/50. The one times the head of the person inside my head turns into a play-doh kind of sausage that wraps around a random object, usually a cube, and his face looks confused. It’s hard to separate his head from his neck and it terrifies me.
The other times the head appears extremely solid and has an overall round shape, then I subconsciously try to forcefully wrap it around that object but it doesn’t work and that person screams. It terrifies me even more.
Thoughts like this haunt me through my life. I hate it but I also somehow feel like I’ll miss it if they’re gone and at the same time I can’t decide whether it’s like a Stockholm syndrome towards that terrifying thoughts that are somehow both so personal yet so alien, or just my intuition lies to me again. Both of those possible reasons scare me even more.
My intuition is very valuable to me, I value it the same as I value the freedom of thought – above everything else. Those situations compromise both. Intuition is a major decision-making instrument to me, so terrible things will happen if I couldn’t trust it.
I don’t know what exactly I did wrong to become like this and I can’t remember when it all started8
am i getting grumpy and old? what the fuck does PRE_ORDER mean to you? you see, i thought it meant i ordered something - and it'd be sent to me on the release date. back in mYyYyyYYyy day - you paid for something, suppliers had it in stock before the release date, and then on release date you would get what you paid for. amazon (of course it's amazon, fuck amazon. fucked me over so many times in the past 2 years) says they dont have my item in stock. then WTF DID I PREORDER IT FOR? to top it off, even though they've been horrible 50% of the time for the past couple years, they offer me $10 off on my "order". ya, sure, okay. nope : $10 off future order. i don't wana fucking order from you! i actively avoid you!
fuck this world. why is everything shit anymore? why can't something just fucking work as fucking in-fucking-tended?
am i cursed? i've been good for a while. it's not karma. complete bs, why bother.4
I need to vent or I'm going to fucking explode like a car filled with bombs in motherfucking Iraq...
A couple of months ago I inherited a project in development from our team leader who was the sole developer on it and he was the one who designed every single thing in it.
I was told the project is clean, follows design patterns, and over all the code is readable and easy.
Those were all fucking lies.
See throughout the period he was working on it, I saw some of the code as it was going through some pull requests. I remember asking the dev why he doesn't comment his code? His response was the most fucking condescending shit I've ever heard: "My code is self-documenting"...
Now that I have full control over the code base I realize that he over engineered the shit out of it. If you can think of a software design pattern, it is fucking there. I'm basically looking at what amounts to a personal space given to that dev to experiment with all kind of shit.
Shit is way too over engineered that I'm not only struggling to understand what the hell is going on or how the data flows from the database to the UI and in reverse, I'm now asked to finish the remaining part and release it in 8 weeks.
Everything is done in the most complicated way possible and with no benefits added at all.
Never in my career have I ever had to drag my sorry ass out of bed to work because I always woke up excited to go to work... well except for the last 2 weeks. This project is now taking a mental toll and is borderline driving me crazy.
Oh, did i tell you that since he was the only dev with no accountability whatsoever, we DO NOT EVEN KNOW WHAT IS LEFT TO BE IMPLEMENTED?
The Project Manager is clueless.. the tickets board is not a source of truth because tickets set to resolved or complete were actually not even close to complete. FUCK THIS SHIT.
For the last week I've been working on 1 single fucking task. JUST 1. The whole code base is a mine field. Everything is done in the most complicated way and it is impossible for me to do anything without either breaking shit ton of other features (Loosely coupled my ass) or getting into fights with all the fucking libraries he decided to use and abuse.
1 whole week and I can't even get the task done. Everyday I have to tell the project manager, face to face, that I'm still struggling with this or that. It's true, but i think the project manager now thinks i am incompetent or just lazy and making excuses.
Maybe I'm not smart enough to understand the what and why behind every decision he made with this code. But I'm sick to my stomach now thinking that I have to deal with this tomorrow again.
I don't know if I'll make the deadline. But I'm really worried that when this is released, I'll be the one maintaining that nightmare of a code base.
From now on, if i hear a fucking developer say their code is "self-documenting" I will shove my dick + a dragon dildo + an entire razor gaming keyboard up their ass while I shoot their fucking knees off.
oh... and there are just a couple of pages of documentation... AND THEY ARE NOT COMPLETE.2
Well, this one was very satisfying.
When I resigned from my previous job, there was this one last task I had to finish. The task was to implement an identity and access management system that would work across three different platforms they had. I used to work on one of them which had nothing of the sort but the other two had something of their own. Here lies the kicker, it had to work with existing authorization system in other two platforms. After explaining multiple times why that is a bad idea, I gave up. I created an interface, no implementation, documented how the interface was meant to be used and got the hell out of there.
Ahh, that increadible feeling when I start typing to the rythm of music. Especially fast math rock.
Listening to "And so I watch you from afar" right now, it's almost like I'm part of the band 😅4
I can't believe I have been so blind all this time! For years I have unquestionably accepted the lies of corporations and governments around the world, but I have been enlightened and it is glorious!
It is not the year 2016, it is in fact only the year 116 - wake up sheeple!2
I needed to take today off to prep for a home repair. I didn't have much notice either, but I assumed my manager would be okay with some last minute PTO because of how relaxed everyone usually is around here. Guess that didn't include me.
I should have never assumed that my boss was someone I could think of as a peer. I called their boss "Boss" one time, and they said that they don't look at it that way, and that they see me as a peer. My boss nodded in agreement, but it was all formalities, and I bought right into it. Especially since both of them, even the other guys, take time off on a whim. But I'm somehow tied to a stricter standard, even though I can't beg hard enough to get so much as an email answered for legitimate reasons. They'll jump right on my ass when they feel I'm not working as hard as them, but I get silence most of the rest of the time. Bullshit. It's no wonder the conversation changes when your boss sits down at the lunch table. How depressingly typical.1
I’ve had it with people and their lies on experience in the tech world, some guy/girl said to me that he/she had “8 years of experience” but still had problems on something they said they’ve “mastered”6
Smell the lies and too much process. Learn how to smell it and stay the same. It's the best also look over political correctness8
The networking group at my day job, hooooooolly crap I have some unprintable words. But keeping it professional:
* Days to turn around simple firewall whitelisting requests
* Expecting other teams to know the network layout despite not sharing that information anywhere and going out of their way to not share it
* Adding bureaucracy in the form of separate Word doc forms despite having a ticketing system - for no justifiable reason
* Breaking production systems multiple times per month
* Calling in with problems that are clearly network related, being told it’s our systems, and then the problems magically go away even though they swear they didn’t touch anything
* Outright verifiable lies or vague non-answers when they’re not talking to someone at the director level or a vendor from an outside company on conference calls
* Worse packet loss and throughput on our LAN than my home ISP
Doing anything with these clowns is my single biggest source of stress right now. I can’t wait until we get a full SDN stack set up and then we won’t have to deal with them for day-to-day needs any longer.
My boss swears it’s better that we’re not managing the network directly, but I’m pretty sure my friend’s dog could be loosed into the data center to chew on fiber, and eventually the pairs would be connected in such a way as to improve performance.1
I think it's a scam that the multinational corporations have pulled off that they've managed to get everyone to call and equate something technical and legally specific, "piracy."
Piracy is the theft and resale of physical goods. Copyright infringement is not piracy. It's a crime(in most countries), for sure, but it isn't piracy. The word "piracy" is emotionally charged, and its use serves the interests of corporate profit, not the interest of the origination of creative works, and certainly not your best interest. It's a deceptive practice. It's a lie.
But "copyright infringement," and "intellectual property," don't grab readers' attention like, "piracy." So, like how DeBeers has indoctrinated the world into thinking that diamonds are valuable, the RIAA, MPAA, and the BSA have indoctrinated the world into buying into the lie that copyright infringement and piracy are the same thing.9
*Todo: Add description*
>Last commit: a year ago
>Last commit on readme: 5 years ago
Slothful cunt, you don't deserve these 7 stars
Dude that convinced me to come to company became the most toxic person ever after I got fed up of his lies and lame attempts to get me to do his job (so he could just get the merits). We don’t work on the same project but closely related. Every time we speak he tries to hurt me by trying to put me down/raising sensitive topics. But he gets rid of the history all the time, so I have nothing to handle to HR or manager. Time to jump the ship? Job is fine otherwise.9
Do you remember the formation I was going to take? Eletrónics, robotics and computers... It has been delayed again because there isn't enough people....
No one wants a job in the area where the future lies... Stupid, stupid people.
One of our integration solutions (via Webservices) had some issues. I had to switch on http logging to see what might be the issue.
On average, those logs are around 20MB when there is a bunch of traffic. But the solution brought a heap pf traffic through, those logs shot up to 1GB in size.
Had to delete the logs, since they took a million years to open, and told our vendors that the logs are not showing us anything 😅 I told no lies
I am amazed at human stupidity.
I always enjoyed the idea of DevOps: to use virtual machines and constant integration in order to avoid errors and free the developers of hard-to-setup environments and somehow-it-works compilations.
I am amazed how [company I used to work for] managed to turn this into a nightmare.
Just imagine: silent forests, the smell of flowers, no developer trust to the point your devs can’t either make docker environments cause reasons nor they can access your actual machines programmatically because they are filthy peasants, forcing them to do everything manually: every deployment will be a frustrating editing process which takes up to an hour, but here lies the trick... it will still have continuous integration... or better: every feature will be deployed as if it was a release.
The true peak of illumination:
Turning a tool into a disease.
Take a sip of tea, manager... you deserve it.
Just thought about this job because I keep being tempted to just start my own company. The more I think about it, the less being employed makes sense, given my end goal.2
I fucking hate asp.net web forms. Today we implemented listboxes, so we expected them to just be a wrapper for HTML listboxes. NOPE! They are simply selects. Why they decided to hijack the name and do this, I don't know. That does explain why they don't have multiple columns like true listboxes.
So glad that for the next project, which we should start by the end of May, we'll be moving to MVC and .Net core. This shit is so stupid!3
So there is this social institute I invested three years in.
Left them a record budget to play with. After being chair person for two years before and even administrating the whole 1900 of em.
Turns out they're FRICKIN' MORONS!
Instead of welcoming constructive criticism
/* which is because they can not read one single line of simple text without a fidget spinner at hand. And the second line of text, they ask their meds being upgraded! */.
They start fucking people up by spreading lies publicly!
On the fakken Web!
In so called protocols
/* which they don't manage to spellcheck before publishing. As freaking "devs" they major in */.
Just because I told them, that another institution which is conjoined to them within the universities senate, DOES NOT STAND IN COMPETITION!
They don't get it.
Is it that difficult?
Downvote if it is.
And please help me with those worm infested no brainers marrying in circles.
Its incredible how much you can achieve in some years and still so many people stay ignorant enough to start spewing their verbal vomit all over the campus thus fist fucked professors reign in, because "muh truth! no development. just money, I like money. muh moving student, not like it! not like work!".
What the hell is going on in this society?!4
I reported to our team leader (who is not a developer) that me and my colleague has been having problems with our senior developer whose codes are unmaintainable and messy. I told the team lead that I am losing my trust towards my senior developer and that his codes are messy and not following the coding standards. I was nervous at first because this certain team leader is tight with the senior dev. But still, I expected the team lead to be objective.
I was surprised because the team lead asked me if 'I was perfect' and then the team lead continued to shift the conversation towards me. Team lead then started to compare me with the senior dev which is unfair because I've only been working for 2 years whereas the senior developer has been doing this for 6+ years. Team lead said that I was arrogant. Team lead sent our convo to the other teammates and friends. Team lead told me that I am such a baby.
Fast forward, the senior dev talked to me. Told me that he was busy so he didn't get to improve his codes. Which I dont buy because I often see his discord status as playing during work hours. Told me that it wasnt him. Which I dont know if i should believe since he always lies. Told me that his knowledge is outdated. Told me that maybe because I came from a good university and he did not. He apologized and told me he will improve. Sounds good right?
It's a lie. Because then my friend gave me a recording of his voice ranting about me after our talk. In that recording, he said that I have nothing to prove so I dont get a say. He said that he doesnt care about me. He said that I am cocky. Which I dont understand. I only commented abt his work, why is he attacking me personally? Plus, if someone new like me already already noticed the flaws in his work, what does that say about his skill?
My teammates then asked me to just take the fall lol take note that these teammates were also complaining about this senior dev. they asked me to just give them what they wanted to hear. That I am the one who's wrong and the bosses are right. I said I wanted to defend myself but they hated me for that. They told me to think about what would happen to them. They told me I am selfish. Is it selfish for wanting to defend myself?
I defended myself. I told the senior dev that my intentions are for the right reason. He told me he understands. Later that day, a friend told me he talked behind my back again.
Senior dev told me that the team leader cried because of the words I said. Which i found confusing because it was my own feeling, my own opinion that i am losing trust with this certain senior dev so why would the team lead be so affected by that? Also, i showed our convo to the most objective people i know and they said that i didnt say anything that is offensive nor arrogant I have no control as to how people would react to the words I say. It's beyond me.
I feel so helpless. I told those things to the team lead because I think a team should be open to each other but I was blown out of proportion instead. My friend told me that the team lead and the senior dev are still talking behind my back.
If they do this every time someone tries to speak up, will they ever grow?24
dev && !rant
I am thinking about picking up a functional language. Currently I use Kotlin (and I fucking love that language) but I have to admit that it's support for functional programming is limited.
But I think their lies a certain beauty in fp and I want to do some project with it.
The 2 main problems are:
1. I have no experience in functional programming. I have no clue how to structure my program (potantialy without oop) and write clean testable code.
2. I don't know what language to use. Scala seems great since it has good IDE support and I like the Java ecosystem and Haskell seems to have more beauty but is missing that IDE support and it is very unfamilar for me.
So what do you guys think I should pick up? And how do I learn to write good software with it?17
Job advertisement : C++, C#, mysql... / Interview : C#, mysql...
Real life : working one year (part time) on a prototype which had been used (I hope it still not the case) on prod. And by the way it was in VBA :D At the end the file did several Go, empty :D
First real job in a business, that's good memories :p
So, this happened.
We are supposed to get bonuses by this time of the year, but at the evaluations meetings we were told that this year we won't because we've lost a client and bla bla.
Later this week, one of my colleagues just opened himself and told me that he and one more received the full bonus!!
So basically our employer just lied to everyone.
What would you do?
I'm leaving for sure, already think that this company is hitting a dead end, but i think leaving is not a good enough for the company to open their eyes and starting to value all its employees, even after I leave.7
I must say the worst thing is the whole "branding" of closed and open source software. Giving systems/platforms/repositories/projects/libraries names that makes no sense, just for the sake of standing out. Just god damn call a shoe for a shoe...the difference lies in the creator/maintainers and not in the fucking name...sry
when i die, i will make sure that the gravestone message would go like this: "Here lies 2large, who got banned from asking questions on stackoverflow yet continued to provide answers and maintain the usability of a shittty ass website"5
i'm fuking sick of you human ass fuks ruining everything -.-
minimalist shoe, a few years ago, meant a specific kind of shoe with certain specs
now nike and new balance, and who-ever the fuk else, just adds it as a term for their shoes and i can't find anything
go fuk yourselves and die in a fire because you tripped over your bent up toe box into lava you simple mother fukers
These days i like to think of our data privacy as that of an amazon package delivery between person A to B
- Person A wants a packet of condoms and guns, but don't want society to know about it
- person B wants to send guns and condoms to B
- Amazon is willing to provide transportation with a pinky promise that it won't tell anyone about the delivery.
- Thus B gives the condoms and guns to Amazon wrapped up in hard box hoping that Amazon or anybody else won't open it. Similarly A receives the packet hoping that nobody else got to know about it.
But the problem is a LOT of people could possibly know of the contents, even if A or B aren't willing to share details
- Amazon can look into it.
- government can stop the amazon car transporting the packet and force them to look into it.
- some 3rd person(aka hacker) could fool the delivery truck and get access to packet contents.
and this morning, my neighbour, A very radical hindu supporter, frustrated by the recent tablighi jamaat fuck-up , gave a very strange statement "you know in future, the government would pass a law which will allow them to hear these ppl's calls /whatsapp messages. This will allow government to detect and take actions on every of these anti-national scums"
I wanted to say WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU HOPING FOR, BOOMER? THAT'S CENSORSHIP!! but i couldn't say because his illiterate vision is no longer a hope, i can see it becoming reality.
Personally i am equally angry with that whole incident and how that community handled it. But how can anyone ask for censorship, just because a few elements misused it? The problem lies with thise elements and people who support their thoughts not the whole community or the communication medium.
From what i have heard in the recent US and indian law news, they are essentially trying to peek into the data we send to each other legally.
So going by the package delivery analogy, its like government now wants to have every amazon delivery happen in transparent boxes in a transparent truck, just because a few people ordered illegal items via amazon delivery.
This world is going crazy and stupid.3
Whelp, so much for Dell making good on the 32gb sku for the xps 13 9300. 8 days late and 16gb short with minuscule storage at a $100 premium.
"Developer edition" indeed.11
Story of two poor puppies
when my mom returned from market, she saw a puppy with her
siblings surrounded by people choosing which one to take.
she pick one puppy. she's color is grayish black puppy with the tip
of his tail and a place in she's neck.
she whined and cried when she separated from her siblings and Mom.
but she quickly familiarize herself with the new family and place.
she was very happy when we bring her sister we found in the same place.
I take care of them.
I feed, wash and play with the new friends.
we built them a house. they were very happy and playful.
but things started to go downhill all of a sudden.
my parents start to prevent me from playing with them.
they say " We bring the puppies for them to be guards ".
they really hate dogs. they started to lock
the house and the window. they had to pass all day in the
(How BORING) they pee there, eat there sleep there.
Since me and my sis prevented from take care of them, we couldn't
do anything all this only to make them cruel dogs and very unfriendly
when time pass, they started to forget them.
before yesterday, we remembered that we didn't
give them any food or water for the past 3 DAYS !!!
my sister unlock the door for them and they get out
from the house (~Prison~). they were completely
different. the gray puppy was very tired and depressed
and unhealthily skinny. the sister was fine.
we let them outside for few days when the gray puppy
started to get more and more skinny.
he lies on the floor all the day, when we are nearby, she
only wag it's tail no more.
Today, I wake up only to hear the bad story
the gray puppy, well we found her 0x00DEAD ! ! ! !
immediately after I heard the phrase, I burst into tears
I really couldn't stop crying. I couldn't even see that
cute face 0x00DEAD.
My sister's case was way worse than me. the is still
crying at the time of writing. we didn't see their funeral.
the other puppy was very sad because of her sibling
The Worst part is, we didn't name them or take ANY
photo with them !!! :`(2
if i didn't know any better...i'd say youtube is lying about being at 1080 res. pixelated and jaggity as hell. redo resolution, looks better. ya...okay. go swallow your own head youtube4
This is more of a rant with a question within:
It's International Women's Day and I did not see this hitting me like it is lol, but I have a question for my fellow devs all over:
Do you actually like the system of developers making up fake doctors appointments (or whatever) to go interview with the competitor because they don't feel appreciated at their current company?
Do people actually like sneaking around and telling lies and constantly having to prove yourself to new people instead of just having a process in place to rectify the situation where you work?
And do you actually like having to spend so much time and energy negotiating pay so you don't get ripped off?
I know this happens to all of us, regardless of how we identify. But I once had a recruiter call me the day after she talked to my best friend, a male dev (same experience level), and using his same techniques that we practiced together, she offered me almost $100k less for the same title she offered him the day before, despite the strongest negotiating of my life. She insisted the company simply could not go higher. This affected my friend almost as much as it affected me-- this really does happen. We're not making it up. Sometimes not even the best advice can change the reality.
Shit like that is just depressing, and reminds me that it probably wouldn't be that different if I went somewhere else anyway. But I'm wondering if you like that hustle, or if you too wish it wasn't needed.18
Meditation. Or Awareness Meditation to be precise. It enables me to regain control over my mind, because I get distracted really fast. It really helps sorting things out, taking a step back and getting an overview where I actually am and if what I'm doing right now is actually relevant/has priority. I mostly find that it's not, so I have to return to the important stuff.
For those interested: meditation sounds weird, even obvious at first or you just don't get what's it all about. You actually have to practice meditation for a long time and study the concepts until you start to understand what all these phrases and talking means. Behind them lies great wisdom/huge amount of concepts which is easily underestimated. So don't be frustrated too much if you don't feel it working right away. Be assured I've been there too. Also don't start with meditations like 'just stop thinking or think nothing' because in my opinion this is highly complex shit and frustrating at first. Start with awareness or breathing meditations or even get an app to support your daily habit.1
What progress have you made?
Well today we hand crafted ... a new lie about the apps we are writing. Customers should eat this one up.
Fuck all those special snowflake npm packages who each implement their own incomprehensible documents format and even make an ugly ass website full of lies for it.
I just used a contact form of a local webshop. I couldnt enter my email address because it contains a +.
I contacted them to tell them about this issue and the response was it is because of security reasons. Since when is following specs a security breach? Unless their system is one leak I don't see how its possible.
Am I wrong or did they either lie or have a leak in their system?4
So, I've been seeing a lot of people concerned about privacy around here lately.
I completely understand it, and I too, don't want all my data to be available for anyone at any given time. I get it.
However, the only way to get privacy, is to build it yourself.
Buying a phone? Who says (apart from the company itself) that it doesn't have some integrated chip, or that the os lies to you or w/e
When using your phone, who says your Sim provider isn't intercepting all your traffic with a man in the middle attack?
These sound like conspiracies, however, if you really want privacy, either build it yourself (or with other privacy activists) or let go of the comforts of technology (i know, you're not the only source of info about yourself, the only way to shield yourself is to go into the woods and live a simple life.)
It's pretty sad that these are the two options, but I've yet to find a better one.
(ps, I used to have a "no logs, no ip, no anything" VPN provider, and as soon as some agency requested info, they got it, so I wouldn't easily trust the promise of 3rd parties anymore.)12
My current task involves processing the commoncrawl web archive, and it's like a box of junk you buy at a flea market. You find so much useless stuff, broken stuff, stuff that makes you question people...
I queried a few commoncrawl files and amassed 4GB of this spam. Every time I look at it it gets weirder. There is an italian article about malware in there too.
Here's a text sample:
"Not from her bedroom, she her stream view and meet new experience. In hd india, because swimsuit still laws exist no interaction or frigthened and."1
Interview: "We provide on going training for all our developers."
// lie to employee
Console.WriteLine("We'll have to schedule some training for you.");
// wait 30 days
Writing code at work be like:
Hmm okay so if I call this facade looking for an order with a code, and the order can't be found, it will return null. Thank God this bit of code is documented...
Ten minutes later
Why is this not throwing an exception when I pass invalid parameters in...?
Two minutes later
Oh, so this never returns null. If the order isn't found, it returns an empty DTO. Fucking docs.
Seriously, the only thing worse than no documentation is documentation that lies. And that's all I get for my first project at the company, which I am having to do alone. Either no docs, or misleading docs.1
Out of any service industry web dev is the only one that shorts it own market and full of lies making it impossible for any real person trying to make and honest living and everyone seems to be okay with it - no other trade does this 25 years experience haven't found a job yet in a year something's not right too many people are lying making people untrustworthy I know I'm not the only one that feels like this8
"[Designers’] primary competence lies not in the technicalities of a craft but in the mastery of a process." - Ralph Caplan
So I sign up for this fancy pants website were developers rant about shit. They ask me bunch of data mining personal questions upfront like a marketing bitch so I go through and fill out my profile. Ok it's a social site, whatever and nobody gives a fuck about me anyway. I hit save, continue and go to click the email that injects my lies into their database. But I figure I might go back and fix some of the lies I wrote about myself just in case Google craws it and somebody I meet in the future calls me liar. So I spend 10 minutes trying to navigate the whole website to find a way to get back there to edit the lies or even perhaps find some site help relating to profiles. Of course the profile page itself does not do this profile edit stuff and bugger me if there is no help at all on how to use this website. So I did the only thing I could and wrote this rant in the hope somebody knows how the fuck I cover my tracks on devrant.com4
How I hate all those people who think VisualStudio Code is Open Source. It's not! Read the f*cking license!
In fact, you aren't even allowed to inspect its network traffic. Not to mention reverse engineering. That's nowhere near OpenSource.
You sure can download the source code, licensed as MIT, but building it won't give you the same piece of software.
Don't believe in everything someone tells you. Use your brain and check the facts.12
Well this is a comforting alternative to the stress and anxiety I feel just before i start to spiral perilously out of control...
I'm not burning out I'm just getting my flame on while I level up. 🔥🔥🔥🤣
Very tired of people that turn around to me and say “this is sales, you have to know your audience, it’s not based on truth and logic”... basically an excuse for telling outright lies and expecting me to pick up the pieces when reality bites and the lies come back to haunt them, all for the sake of “closing the deal”8
- one hundred thirty seven is twenty one
- twenty one is nine
- nine is four
- and four is the magical number
Me: *shouts* Lies! CAFEBABE it's the magical number11
I think a lot of “confession of having impostor syndrome” on devrant is false humility. You really are an impostor, it became sth like i am perfectionist lies in interviews. Discuss(or flame at me, whatever).2
to;dr: fuck American mainstream media and all the lies.
I'm am so fucking fed up with American mainstream media. they constantly spew fucking blatant lies or disingenuous, misleading bullshit, and basically cover up anything that "doesn't fit the narrative".
it's like they think we're all idiots.
In South Africa, privately owned farmland is being confiscated from whites, as far as I can tell, because they're white. it's basically not being talked about in mainstream media because they're white. if it were any other race, I'm sure it would be all over the media.
"Violence again women in videogames must stop". uhhh, most videogames I've played, the violence is against about 99.9% male/0.1% females.... so....
"Donald Trump is a fascist". now I'm not saying one way or another whether I support Donald Trump or not, no opinions here just facts: Donald Trump is, at the very least, right-leaning, and fascism is a FAR LEFT IDEOLOGY. saying Donald Trump is a fascist is completely baseless and just a completely retarded claim.
literally calling for socialism.... do I even need to comment? have you ever read a history book?
countless other examples can easily be found if you look at any independent moderate to slightly right-leaning news source, podcast, etc.
I've had enough of the fucking blatant dishonesty of the mainstream media, whether it's flat out lies, or being disingenuous, or misleading, or not covering huge stories because they don't meet the narrative.4
all video streaming fucker companies have found a new way to promote shitty lies!
Hotstar: "try Hotstar! Rs199/month! first 7days free!"
Amazon prime : "try amazon prime! Rs 129/month! first 30 days free!"
those small numbers are fuckin lies. they have only 2 or 3 supported banks and if yours isn't one of them, then you have no option but to buy their full 365 days non refundable subscription of a larger amount, which strangely accepts *all payment bank cards*
liars. liar liar liars!7
instagrams "based on likes" is total bullshit, I don't like shit those suggestions like but if you scroll through your contacts you'll find those suggestions. Why not just say it like it is: "from your contacts or from your friends contacts"3
So in the past 3 days I've almost had 6 heart attacks, I've been giving public speeches for random classes at my school as a practise.
Today I'm going to some capital city finals shit whatever you call it and I have to give a public speech to fuc knows how many people.
I wrote a speech about lies in 700 words, speech has to be 5 minutes, oh yeah, in English. It's not my native...
Man, I am not ok at all Xd, they had to choose the one who has anxiety dosorders.2
I have a dream that one day companies will understand that most people who pirate music/movies/games etc. do it because they don't have enough money or because they can't get them any other way. They don't lose money, as those people are not able to buy their products anyway, instead, they gain supporters and possible future clients. Piracy is one of the reasons Windows is the king OS(prove me wrong...) and also the reason Game of Thrones is the most popular show on the planet. Instead of hunting torrent site founders maybe they could, I don't know, build great and cheap services. Spotify is such a service, no reason to pirate music anymore, but everything else still lies in the middle ages...8
I have experiences and I am able to show what I've done,including spare time projects that I do during non-working hours. But i were given a algorithm question in the interview, that just marked the end of my 2 years efforts. I want to shout to the interviewer next time please don't write lies on your description, state it clearly that someone have to answer algorithm questions to get the job, so that I won't bother to apply and attend to the interview. Thanks!2
It's important to have a little fun with what you do. You can work on and on like it's a chore and get along with it just fine, but right below the surface of the tools you use lies something truly interesting. Reading code, documentation, blog posts, what have you, all of it is just as helpful in learning as writing code.
And also, be kind. We all write crap code from time to time. As a beginner, I know I do. It's important to take it all as a learning experience.
Personal favourite quote that puts it very well: 'I guess you could call it a “ failure,” but I prefer the term “learning experience".'
Read the whole thing here:
This isn't a devrant post really, more like "adjacent to the societal void that all brings us here".
Anyway. This is for you.
"Fraud" or "Addiction"
Lies are like addiction.
We lie to ourselves.
We lie to each other.
Why can't we just be honest.
Why can't we not be honest?;
I don't need it.
I don't need it.
I WANT it.
But I don't want how it makes me feel.6
I've got some free time at school today and decided to go to our teacher assistans room after checking his schedule. It was obviously his 'office time' and the only purpose of that time was assisting students that need help with something.
I've been there before and we had a nice conversation about tech stuff other than school things. So I thought I could go there in my free time today.
He said he's kind of busy when I've asked him if he got some time or not. Eventually we had a 5 min talk and I left BUT I've seen something on his monitor at the exact moment I stepped into his room.
Bitch, you were watching John Wick 3 trailer before I came in. So this is how you're busy, huh?
Stop fucking lying please.
So, the story starts with me getting a job. Full-time job for the first time in my 21 years old life. After short conversation about how amazing this company is, after countless lies and stood questions they decided to hire me. I had to get come on Monday a week later with everything prepared.
So of course I did that and got to my workplace on designated time. Turned out nobody was expecting me, nothing was prepared for a new programmer and everyone seemed angry at me for no apparent reason.
After long talk with my new boss I got some less than 100$ pc with CPU that couldn't handle virtualization and expected me to work on software that needed extensive use of virtual machine.
PC is of course filled with all kinds of spying software that uses most of the resources. IT teams only job is to check if programmers are working their assess off for at least 8 hours a day.
I've filled a ticket about granting me access to Debian machine on the mainframe so I could work. No response for two weeks. I've lost hope already.
I have to work on open space with more than 30 engineers. Screams, phone calls, alarms, all at once, all the time. My colleagues seem to not care and I can't understand how.
I was tasked with rewriting major application because old developer did some half assed piece of burning shit. It took him more than one year, I'm finishing it in less than two weeks.
Of course nobody except for me is preparing any kinds of documentation. I had to reverse-engineer whole API for alarm system.
Salary is less than a junior programmer should earn.
But I'm stuck here for at least a year because nobody's here wants a guy whose only experience is as a freelancer.
Shit my "Senior" Dev coworker days:
"Well, logically, lies are more important because it takes more effort to remember the lie, who you've told it to, and any extra stuff you made up to keep your story straight. Then, when you have more than one lie, you work even harder to keep them all in line".1
But dude it doesn't fall in my service's domain, you should be taking care of this.
What makes you think it lies under mine?
"The secret to our enduring brand lies in delivering an experience rather than just a collection of products and services. " - Harley-Davidson Annual Report
why do fones advertise 128gb storage? it's hard af to find one you can actually buy. or maybe it's my wonderful luck and life fukery
It all started on a nice summer afternoon. I was minding my own business just using my wonderful laptop with Windows 10 software installed. Then I woke up and realized the truth. I am sick of the scams, the lies, and the games. Today you will all see the same colors as me.
Most of you are probably on a Microsoft device and have had problems with it. A great example of Microsoft's failure is the line of phones they attempted to market. I was forced to own one for a period of time and it is absolute agony. Never force this way of life on another human being. While we are here, why the fuck is Optifine only available for Java Minecraft. Why even have two versions of the game when they cost the same?
These petty offenses are nothing compared to what I am about to tell you. As we all know, Bill Gates is friends with Mark Zuccerberg. Mark is known for his cult of reptile info scammers. Just this association alone is a red flag. This means that Bill Gates is a reptile as well. Reptiles only trust other reptiles.
These "people" are lying to us! Bill Gates just wants you to think he stepped down so he doesn't get the hate and shunning that comes with liking Microsoft. It was just an excuse to get his cult followers to do his job for him so he could run the new world order and the pedophile ring that he co-owns with Jeffrey Epstein. You think Satya Nadella is the "New CEO"?! Bullshit. He is just another Microsoft fleshlight.
Not only is Bill a disgusting liar, but he predicts the future and uses it to his advantage. This is how he has built his cult following and his multi-company empire.
You people need to wake the fuck up and boycott Microsoft. You are all being subliminally brainwashed into thinking it's okay and that "It's just the software" NO. Stop supporting pedophiles. Stop supporting reptiles. Stop supporting shitty products, and STOP LICKING THE CORPORATE BOOT. In conclusion, fuck Microsoft.8
When I work extra hours on weekends, so I can finally take a break from Microsoft Word and write some code for a change. It's going on for a second week now, if not longer 😢1
"Good ideas turn into good designs fairly quickly. If you catch yourself fiddling too much with colors, borders and treatments to bring a design together, chances are the problem lies somewhere deeper." - Ryan Singer
After my third "requested changes" I've officially lost all dignity I held. Spend hours working, wrong solution. Revert, not working. Fix, removed functional code. I think my brain is just broken. Or maybe this project is just massive and I just can't wrap my head around it properly. Or maybe I'm just clueless. One day I'd like to be at a level where you hear an issue and immediately know the solution, where the problem lies in the code, how to fix it, and how long it will take. Hell, I'd settle for even one of those right now. The learning process is so stressful.
It took me a month's time to adjust to working in co-working space last year and it took around similar this to adjust to working from home this year. Both working environments have there own pros and cons but somehow we all find a way to continue working.
Don't know what working environment lies ahead of me once this lockdown get's over but I hope I adjust again in similar manner there too :D
today I will have the last of my high school finals.
I feel like after today I will be a free boy (for three months, at least). Like I have won the game, beaten the boss level.
After 7 years of resisting to comply to this system which tries so hard to shape every pupil into a compliant individual, it will be done.
My creativity and productivity (which lies in tech, which isn't really represented in any subject in my school), set free.
No more mandatory pseudo-interest in loads of literature and cultural history. The bits that are interesting would have come to me anyways through Reddit.
Victory is mine. YAY \o/
World, here I come!
P.S. yes, of course, there were also positive things. I'm actually thankful for that time I failed the year's end exam about literature which ended in me having to redo that year. It landed me with loads of free time, which got me into tech-tinkering, a now two-year employment as a programmer, and a juniar participation at the nearest Hackerspace. And a chance to pretty much build and operate a 3D-printer, for which the physics department mostly covered the cost. The school unknowingly gave me the opportunity to extend my own horizon outside of school, and it brought me so much nice things. :) But the mandatory interest in literature and cultural/religious history and the lack of technical subjects and the digital oppression still sucked.
P.P.S. oops that was only supposed to be a short P.S.
"We are flexible with the arrivals, always when you accomplish your hours".
Missing detail: they don't open even 15 min early or close 15 min late. So how the fuck is that flexible?3
i'm new on here and just was wondering why they don't date or give the timing of rants as i was looking at some of the site. Not that it's important but speaking of dates....I think we've been in this shutdown LONG ENOUGH and this is the 11th of Apr. and they're adding on more time still when at first we were to get this over with by Apr. 3 now the end of April and now even out here where i live in So. Cal. universal Studios announced (i guess) they're shutting through end of May? Oh yeh-is that a Bright Airy future outlook to say that this virus is just going to wipe more out; keep wearing them masks and obey the stay at home rules and now you got this Hydroxy...you know that one that appears to be a positive drug to "work" to actually look safe enough to try or administer, how about giving that to the people that may want it instead of we've seen some bitter bulking at that very Hydroxy...look at the 1 governor or whomever threaten to strip the license right out of that person for bringing it up! Woooo instead ya got Mr Gates not even a physician talking all these rules of forced vaccines (again??) oh yeh NOT ME! This is now a politicized coronavirus and i watched a video and I believe it!!! The test conducted at the beginning of all this was tested incorrectly and it goes on and on and now we're in this lockdown as if there's power in them numbers keeping this thing going going gone to the biggest numbers where not enough medical equipment's cried out, lines out the A__ and then finding the opposite when people have followed up on all these leads of all over the Country where all this overflood of viral is running. Don't tell me i don't have the facts, because wth does at this juncture or at this very present night to where this is sickening. Yes, there's been patients or people Human Beings that have contracted it but let's just get some real information that i just have to know to what it is thus far isn't correct. And we need to get going, get your livilihood (spell check that word) GOING and LESS FEAR because from the people that want to run all this, they look power hungry to keep it going like the one guy said 'we don't have a choice' when it comes to this will play out 12 to 18 months. OH? YOU MAY HAVE LOSER CHOICE but WE DON'T!!! And it ain't playing out neither the 18 or 12...you know what they want it to run into the election process is what they want. Plus the idea to lock us down huh? And the day by days going by are going to only allow more freedoms to l-o-s-e!8
Anyone who tells you there is no time constraint is on drugs. There's no such thing. At best, there are just secret deadlines that crop up as you're getting close. It's just a fucking con to get you to build unimportant shit, and work your ass off to meet some artificial deadline at the end.
I usually start writing some personal scripts. The kind which you spend more time writing than will ever spend using it. Usually that's where my answer lies, and just like that it clicks into my mind.
I believe that the answer to all my problems lies in the wubbs of chillstep.
It's the only thing that helps me debug.