git everywhere

There is no need to ever put your greasy-ass nasty fingers on my screen, it may not look expensive or nice but I don't want to deal with your fingerprints all over it.

Getting shit from everyone for liking Java.

!rant found it online

Any js framework to me by far...

Non-dev friend : hey I've got a cool idea, we'll create a site where people can post jobs and people can bid for it. We'll name it freelance.com. We gon be rich!!!!..

Me: okay....

Friend: so you in?

Me: No.

Friend: It's really easy, just build it like you built that website you did the other day (talking a landing page he saw me do in a week). In 2 weeks, we'll be millionaires. You'll do all the programming stuff, so you get 30% of the money, I'm the idea guy so I get the other 70%. About that, you in now?

Me: have you heard of odesk, freelancer, jobberman.

Friend: no... Does a freelance site exist.

Me: boy, it's 2016.

Friend: I just thought of it few minutes ago and my other friends thought it was a great idea.

Me: 🙈🙈🙈🙈😶🔫🔫🔫

The horror that is nowadays called "Skype for business"

Fake bug fix

Android app update available! I wonder what they've changed? 🤔

Changelog: "We improved the app and made it better."

Well thanks. 🖕

😂😂😅😅

Got a job with EA
Went down like this during the interview

Hiring Manager: your second part of your resume seems to be missing?
Me: second part is $20
Hiring Manager: Welcome on board

Me after a large Git merge, after expecting masses of merge conflicts and getting none. Life is good my friend.

The Raspberry Pi equivalent of hello world.

The 5 phases of software development

Today, I finally had the opportunity to say to a client: "It is not a bug, it is a feature".

No, seriously, it is a feature.

That rare moment when you write clean beautiful code and you just stare at it for a few minutes

True story.

Skype for Business 😒

How many times?;)

If you're stuck....take a break away from the keyboard. Go outside and take a couple of deep breaths. Talk to someone about something not work related. Then get back in and look at the problem with fresh eyes.

Always answer these 2 questions in your commit message: (1) what will happen if this commit applied? (2) why this change is being made?

Just found an EPROM (Erasable Programmable ROM) from my dad's old stuff.
Yeah, there's a window for UV light, if you wish to erase your existing code/data!

Thought you people can relate.....

Her mood swings be like.....

Learn how to css👌

Once a day, take some time to read your colleagues' commits.

You will see how they work, you will learn how they solve problems, you will understand their flow and you will know more and more parts of the code base.

I don't remember how many times I've wanted to do this..

FRIENDLY REMINDER: Fucking save your goddamn work. Thanks.

- Your friendly neighborhood dumbass who just lost 14 hours of his life because his computer crashed.

P.S. Normally not a problem when working on code because I'm forced to save and commit with Git. Unfortunately I was balls deep in Adobe motherfucking illustrator working on wireframes, and didn't have doc recovery turned on.

Expert in NoSQL

Job of a manager can be summed up in one sentence: "Are we there yet?"

Who else wishes the ATM throws an exception after withdrawals