I'm the only one here that still uses jquery instead of some angular/react/vanilla/random JS frameworks?

CAN SOMEBODY STOP THE TIME FOR A WHILE!!!

I HAVE TOO MUCH TO DO AND TOO LITTLE TIME!!!

FML!

PS. WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING IN DEVRANT?

CSS is easy. It’s like riding a bike, which is on fire and the ground is on fire and everything is on fire because it is hell.

*Client calles me at 7Am*

Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?

Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?

Client: yah, so ?

Me: click on it and set it back to default.

Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet

Me: ...

Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.

Me: you're welcome...

Me: "The exploit worked when you tested it too, right?"
Them: "..."
Me: "You tested it too, right?"
Them: "..."
*facepalm*

Whenever I see a door that says "push", I always pull first, to avoid conflicts.

More Unix commands are becoming web services. What else can you think of?

Grep -> Google
rsync -> Dropbox
man -> stack overflow
cron -> ifttt"

Fake bug fix

Found this on Facebook

Me as fuck

programmers pickup lines

Client tests the app and provides feedback ... This sucks! Full of bugs, hard to navigate, nothing works!

1 week later after version 2 client provides new feedback: This rocks! Love it. Easy to use and rock solid!

Changes made: background set to light blue.

hmnn..

PRANK
I remember this one time when I tried to prank my friend's laptop and it went horribly wrong

So at first when I got a hold of his laptop I changed his background to Batman and every icon to batman and all the names of his icons on the desktop to "NA", "NANANA", so on so forth

I thought he'd get the joke. But little did I know that the next time I'd meet him he told me that he reformated his laptop because of a virus that made his whole laptop go batman 😱😱.

After that I never told him about the prank I made. I feel so ashamed hahaha

Honest Job description. Original: https://twitter.com/ThePracticalDev...

// Not a rant !

But I like puns. And even more programming puns.

Entering BIOS be like...

What do you do?

Delete the code or comment it out just in case you need it again?

Boss: don't worry about the architecture, it's an one-off project, just make it work...

2 months later...

Boss: hey, remember that one-off project? we need to add in a few more features... Also can we reuse that code for this new one-off project we have to do for this new client?

New favorite mug...

That moment when you sit down at your PC and realize you forgot to push your latest commit from your laptop.

Programming Fact

I took a one month intern position for a company doing data entry. They had thousands of rows in dozens of spreadsheets, and they needed the data entered, row by row, into two different sites, and then link the two entries together.

After the first day I was ready to lose my mind. But... I'm a developer. You know where this is going 😉

At noon the next day, I emailed my employer: "hey, I finished all three spreadsheets you gave me, and I'm ready for more." A few minutes later I received an absolutely astonished phone call.

Long story short, I had all the spreadsheets entered by the end of the day (unfortunately putting the rest of the interns out of a job!), got paid a decent sum for the thousands of $ I saved them, and received a permanent position, where I'm still working today :)

So true...

anybody else?

My boss baught me a new setup because he crashed into my car. I think i can accept this apology^^

while working on a website, I left a line of php code that echo's 'it fucking works' when a call is successfully made to the server. Two weeks later it hits me while I'm in bed that I never removed that line.

Me: *coding*
Gf: *walks into room*
Gf: awww look at all the sad winky faces
Me: excuse me?
Gf: look at all the sad winky faces *points at this ); *
Me: ... 😕😂

old but gold