Unfortunately.

You hired me to be a JavaScript developer. Just because you have stock inMicrosoft is not a good reason to try stuffing Typescript down my throat. Maybe you should have hired a Typescript developer!

sysadmins ;)

Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.

Found this today in a legacy codebase.

You can fuck up dns records in 1 seconds but to unfuck it up takes ages 😒😒😒😒

When you have to convince any non programming friend that, no, you cannot just program his Video game ideas just like that...

How many references does it take to crash Java?

Null

back from a 3 week vacation...

*googles "introduction to web development"*

Just stumbled upon www.en.wikipedia.org/wiki/hexspeak and started following all of the links.
Reached a whole new level of procrastinating. Now I have no idea what my professor is talking about.
Good job me😬💥

Code interview where three senior developers want to see you swet like a hooker in a church...

"A dead program normally does a lot less damage than a crippled one" *

(*) The Pragmatic Programmer

Have a demo to manager today.

I am expecting everything to go as wrong as possible.

OH CRAP.

THE LIVE GITHUB LAZINESS COUNT HAS HIT 40 MILLION!!!

Upgrading the framework.

My morning (RO = remote office):

Me: Your xxx implementation is very strange.
RO: Yes we are following a new example from experts in this field. See this link.

Me: Paragraph 1, use xxx class in these situations. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes we had problems with that, we decided to skip that.

Me: Paragraph 2, always use xxx when accessing data. Were not doing that.
RO: Yes that create many bugs, we skipped that.

Me: This section on debugging says to enable this flag while in development to allow the IDE to alert you to issues.
RO: Yes this causes the app to crash constantly. So we took it out.
Me: ... because its finding issues ... and telling you where the problem is, with an error message.

... your not following the experts at all.

RO: We are!, please read the link we provided.

... this will be discussed on my exit interview

So we, new interns, are having breakfast together. One of the intern brought this nice milk and cornflakes. Another intern started to talk about how she's allergic to dairy products and her hands become itchy when she eats any dairy products.

Then I said: "Oh, your hands gets itchy? I shit myself whenever I have anything related to milk."

Both of them packed their food and left in the next minute.

I hate myself.