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So I was minding my own business and I got a call.
Caller: Is this Fodian?
Me: No it's Floydian. Who do you want ma'am?
Caller: We want to talk to Fodian. Just tell me are you Mr Fodian or not?
*Realises they want to talk to me and wil never be able to pronounce my name right. The lady is barely able to put together words of English to communicate*
Me: Yeah tell me, I am Fodian.
Caller: Are you looking for a job?
Me: *desperately looking for a change* Yes. I am. Tell me more.
Caller: Could you tell where do yoy currently work?
Me: I work for *inserts name*.
Just for the records, my employer is one of the world's top 5 multinational software conglomerate.
Caller: Umm.. sorry never heard of that company. We only work with top global brands. But looking at your profile, we will consider you even if you are from small company. We believe in equality.
Me: *fuck you and fuck your equality cunt* wow! I feel great 🤗
Caller: Will you be comfortable in relocating to different city because we will place with top company. *inserts some shitty company I have never heard of*
*Googles the company. Name doesn't exists*
Me: Ummm... If the opportunity is great then sure.
Caller: So we have a Jr Support Engineer role which matches perfectly with your profile and very few get the opportunity for this role.
Me: *wow really? I am fucking tester* I feel lucky to get this opportunity.
I realised that this was a fraud call and try to goof around a bit. The bitch didn't even know about my profile.
Caller: Okay I will forward your documents to my supervisor for next round. But before that you will have to complete our process.
Me: Okay. What's that?
Caller: You need to transfer 10K to our account as consultant fee or you will be disqualified from this opportunity to work with big company.
Me: Fuck off bitch. *Disconnects*
The spammers are fucking everywhere. And these fake recruiters just waste time.
The bitch can go deep throat an elephant while he drowns her in his gag.26 -
25 phrases you wish you could say at work more often
(Warning: Contains naughty words...:-)))
1. Ahhh...I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again...
2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.
3. How about never? Is never good for you?
4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to worship me.
6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.
7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message...
8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.
9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.
10. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of shit.
11. I like you. You remind me of me when I was young and stupid.
12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't give a damn.
14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.
15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.
16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.
17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.
18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.
19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?
20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.
21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.
22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.
23. No, my powers can only be used for good.
24. You sound reasonable... Time to up the medication.
25. Who me? I just wander from room to room17 -
Consultant: "you should deploy a website. Use wordpress and have a draft ready in a few days. It's easy."
Me: "It's a static website, a one-pager even. I think we would be better served with something light-weight without a database."
Consultant: "99% of the websites in the entire internet are powered by wordpress. It's state of the art, you should use it"
Me: 😢 "Nooo, it needs mainentance and stuff. Look, XY is much simpler. You can even version the static site with git"
Consultant: 😤
We ended up with wordpress for our static website now. I am so proud. I absolutely love wordpress. It is amazing. Now my static one-pager can have plugins, multiple users, security issues and all that. The future is now!18 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Versace tie, gets out and asks the Shepherd:
Man: “If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?”
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies:
Shepherd: “Okay.”
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says,
Man: “You have exactly 1,586 sheep here.”
The shepherd cheers,
Shepherd: “That’s correct, you can have your sheep.”
The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks,
Shepherd: “If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?”
The young man answers;
Man: “Yes, why not?”
Shepherd: "You are an IT consultant."
Man: “How did you know?”
Shepherd: “Very simple. First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don’t understand anything about my business…Now can I have my DOG back?"4 -
User: "Hey, can you help me? My program doesn't work."
Consultant: "What is the problem? Are you using Turbo Pascal?"
User: "Yes, the program just blocks the machine."
Consultant: "Well, does it compile?"
User: "I don't know -- it just doesn't run. You see? There's the EXE file. If you run it, it blocks the machine."
Consultant: "And where is your source, the PAS file??"
User: "I wrote it and renamed it to EXE so it could run."5 -
Once upon a time there was a shepherd looking after his sheep on the side of a deserted road. Suddenly a brand new Porsche screeches to a halt. The driver, a man dressed in an Armani suit, Cerutti shoes, Ray-Ban sunglasses, TAG-Heuer wrist-watch, and a Pierre Cardin tie, gets out and asks the shepherd: "If I can tell you how many sheep you have, will you give me one of them?"
The shepherd looks at the young man, and then looks at the large flock of grazing sheep and replies: "Okay."
The young man parks the car, connects his laptop to the mobile-fax, enters a NASA Webster, scans the ground using his GPS, opens a database and 60 Excel tables filled with logarithms and pivot tables, then prints out a 150 page report on his high-tech mini-printer. He turns to the shepherd and says, "You have exactly 1,586 sheep here."
The shepherd cheers, "That's correct, you can have your sheep." The young man makes his pick and puts it in the back of his Porsche. The shepherd looks at him and asks: "If I guess your profession, will you return my animal to me?"
The young man answers, "Yes, why not?" The shepherd says, "You are an IT consultant."
"How did you know?" asks the young man.
"Very simple," answers the shepherd. "First, you came here without being called. Second, you charged me a fee to tell me something I already knew, and third, you don't understand anything about my business... Now can I have my dog back?"3 -
When I opened my digital agency it was me and my wife as developers, I had no savings and I needed to get long contracts ASAP which luckily I did straight away.
Lovely client, had worked for them before as a consultant so i thought it would be a breeze. Let's just say the project should've been named "Naivete, Scope Creep and Anger: The revenge".
What happened is that when this project was poised to end I naively thought I would be able to close the job, so I started looking for a new full time consultancy gig and found one where I could work from home, and agreed a starting date.
Well, the previous job didn't end because of flaws in my contract the client exploited, leaving me locked in and working full time, for free, for basically as long as he wanted (I learned a lot the hard way at that time) and I had already started the new agreed job. This meant I was now working 2 full time shifts, 16 hours per day.
Then, two support contracts of 2 hours per day were activated, bringing my work load to 20 hours/day.
I did this for 4 months.
The first job was supposed to last one month, and I was locked into it, all others had no end in sight which is a good thing as a freelancer, but not when you are locked into a full time one already. I could've easily done one 8 hours shift and two 2 hours jobs per day, but adding another 8 hours on top of it was insanity.
So I was working 10 hours, and sleeping 2. I had no weekends, didn't know if it was day or night anymore, I was locked in my room, coding like a mad man, making the best out of a terrible situation, but I was mentally destroyed.
I was waking up at 10am, working until 8pm, sleeping 2 hours until 10pm, working until 8am, sleeping 2 hours until 10am, and so on. Kudos to my wife for dealing with account and project management and administration responsibilities while also helping me with small pieces of code along the way, couldn't have survived without the massive amount of understanding she offered.
In the end:
- I forcefully closed the messed up contract job and sent all the work done to another digital agency I met along the way, very competent people, as I still cared about the project.
- I missed a deadline on my other full time contract by 2 days, meaning they missed a presentation for Adobe, of all people, and I lost the job
- The other two support contracts were finished successfully, but as my replies were taking too long they decided not to work with us anymore.
So I lost 4 important clients in the span of 4 months. After that I took a break of one month, slept my troubles away, and looked for a single consultancy full time contract, finding it soon after, and decided I wouldn't have my own clients for a good while.
3 years since then, I still don't have the willpower or the resources to deal with clients of my own and I'm happily trudging along as a consultant, while still having middle of the night nightmare flashbacks to that time.2 -
It goes like this.
I have one final task to solve before starting in a new job at a different company. This guy, which is also a board member in the company in which I'm currently hired, is also an IT consultant and project manager in a fairly large company. This said person is also a key person for me being able to solve this last issue. I send him a complete guide on what he has to do before I can move on and wrap it all up.
First conflict arises because he doesn't follow the guide and tells me something is not working. I kindly inform him why and the response I get is very personal and not kind in any way, telling me and my boss that I am bad at my job and that he will bill us for 1000 USD for the 5 hours he used "debugging" and testing. This should have taken him 30 minutes and I have no idea what he spent those 5 hours doing.
It comes down to that my boss sides with this asshole and tells me that I have to do the task all over and test the system for the 4th time (yes I tested it 3 times beforehand to make sure nothing could go wrong) What my boss and the asshole doesn't know is that my uncle is vice president in the firm the asshole is working for. After kindly reminding this asshat that he has to follow the guide and that I can confirm everything is working, he keeps on attacking me. It's very rare that I fuck up and I have consulted 2 colleagues and got them to test it as well. They found no issues at all. The asshole ignored my request of documentation that something was not working.
I'm so full of being treated as an idiot so I send my uncle the email correspondence with the asshole to confirm that this is not how any of their employees should behave independant of my ability to do my job.
He will speak with this fucker tomorrow at work as first thing in the morning. I'm not proud of the way I went about this, but that was like the last drop, if you know what I mean.
Sorry for the long rant.22 -
Went to see Jason Bourne last night. No spoilers, but I'm guessing this is how the writers came up with the story:
Writer 1: Let's make it super techie
W2: Yeah, that way it's about current issues, like Internet privacy.
W1: Should we hire a tech consultant so we get things right?
W2: Nah, I saw the Matrix once, I understand computers.
Actual line from film:
"Use SQL to corrupt their database"
😑13 -
Let an expert consultant write your code, they say. It will be all right, they say.
Found this today in a legacy codebase.
2 -
I'm not sure whether to cry or to burn everything to the ground.
I'm stuck in a rotten, over aged corporate that will one day choke on all the documents and formalism they require. Which is something I'm generally fine with. Each to their own.
But ever since I handed in my resignation they have been fucking me like I have never been gang raped before.
(A little context: I work for a midsize financial institute. Which at least in Germany are full of legacy projects and are regulated as all hell.)
So some fuckwits decided that since the regulator slapped us hard 2 years ago that we need to make up a new standard of documentation that has to be used for all IT-documentation there ever was and ever will be.
So the upper management (the before mention dumb-dumbs) choose some consultant company and locked them up together with the brightest stars (read biggest slime balls) of the IT department in an ivory tower and told them to pull some out the ass.
And one year later (early November last year) they got the shit they ordered. Gilden shit, only the most sparkly and non-sensical bullcrap you could imagine.
But they only looked at it and deemed it good. Now the guys actually in charge of the the applications got served the dish. And guess what they found out when started to dig into? Nothing but contradictions, non-final thoughts and all of that held together by web of retarded, unusable guidelines. But they ate it, they cursed but they swallowed forced by disciplinary punishments waiting should they misbehave.
The only one emerging fact was: All previous documentation was completely invalidated.
But now the mighty lords in the ivory tower guided by the never failing hand of the higher management had the greatest idea of them all. They needed someone to check all the documentation till the end of this year but since they blew all of their budget on useless wankers ( oh, ofc I meant "highly qualified external help") they now preyed on the lowest in the food chain. Which is where this story goes full circle and comes back to me.
I was the lowest rank on the food chain, a student that just handed in his resignation.
I was the first to be locked up in the basement, my co-student followed shortly after.
And now I'm going to spend my last 2 months looking at checklists that we had to pull out of the slime's ass and validating hundreds of thousands of pages of documentation. We get grinded up in the endless hate coming from the guys that we need to tease and are held in position by a wall of sheer idiocy on the side of the rule makers.
Today I cried when I had to tell someone that his magnificent documentation was not standard conform and had thus no longer any meaning or right to exist.
Thanks you for those that made it this far down. I hope you never have to feel my pain.11 -
CVs be like:
"Voluntarily worked as a tech consultant in impoverished communities to promote social mobility and empowerment through the implementation of a specialized computer science learning program and interactive software handling sessions."
Translation: helped my parents attaching word docs to their emails.1 -
Company email sent around last night that 'for security' we need to use the latest software, fine. But we are also told only to develop in Edge as it's the newest and most secure browser, therefore is the only one we can use. There no way I'm using Edge to develop.
Fuck you, Mr Consultant, you've taken the company for a ride.
devRant_swear_count++;4 -
*In the final weeks of development with a project on a short timeline because the client "needs it".*
Client: "We've hired a consultant we want you to work with."
Me: "Okay, can we push this to after the delivery?"
Client: "Of course"
Wake up to an email from the consultant with a list of scripts he just ran on the production database server for the currently live app.
Get follow-up emails about bugs and app crashes from the client.
My rage is so hot it can keep warm an Eskimo tribe over the winter season.2 -
This big multi-million consulting company hired me as freelance. They did it in a hurry, because "the project already started, it is a very important client (a bank) and we need your expertise by YESTERDAY".
In the first THREE WEEKS I had meetings with their own project managers, their client's project managers, techies, sales people. No one was able to tell me what do I have to do, but:
1 - they asked me for very detailed estimates plus a release plan
2 - f**k your estimates, we need this BY JANUARY 16th4 -
My worst dev sin was leaving out the 'WHERE' in a SQL update statement on a production database
Set every booking to be owned by the same sales consultant 👀3 -
This one is more...puzzling than anything else.
We had a consultant come in, a young guy recently out of school. He completed his basic onboarding stuff, got along okay with everyone, etc., but was quiet and kept to himself.
At the end of his first week, we were heading out the door on Friday afternoon, and someone offhandedly said to him “see you next week” or something benign like that. He responded with “yeah we’ll see,” which was...odd.
And then he completely disappeared – we never saw him again.
Okay, so he just decided the job wasn’t for him and quit, right? What’s so strange about that?
Well, for one, the company technically owed him a paycheck for the week, but they couldn’t reach him despite multiple attempts. They eventually left a message and said if you want to get paid, come in and pick up your check. He never did.
But not only that, he *abandoned his car* at the office! On the Friday that he left, he apparently got a ride or a taxi home, and then he just never came back in to get his car. The company eventually had to tow it.
I just would love to know the backstory here. Why would someone go through the trouble to apply for a job, interview, accept the position, work for a week – and then quit without getting paid and leave their car behind??6 -
I'm not sure if I should be posting this, in case this is ever linked back to me, but here goes. My first real dev studentjob:
I got a mail about a Visual Basic studentgig for Excel for a week. I answered: "I don't know VB, but I know VBA, that good enough? It sounds like that's what you guys actually need, but it has been a while since I last did anything in VBA. I got hired and put to task without a real interview.
Couple of days later, on my day off, around 9 pm, I get a mail saying:
"There's a bug! Fix it before tomorrow! And btw, you're going to go see the client tomorrow." Fun fact that the boss forgot: I wasn't supposed to come in the day after this either.
I did agree to come in. So the boss of the company, the main developer and me (just a student, and not very good or at least that's what I thought of myself) ride out to this big important company and are greeted by this big important man and this is how they introduce me: "Just for this project our company has decided to hire a Visual Basic expert!".
Right now I think back to this moment with the fraze: "Well, that escalated quickly: one moment I'm a failing student, the next I'm an expert". But I survived the meeting just fine and apperently made a good impression, but I'm still upset about being made to go along with their exaggeration.
PS: On the way back the boss and the main dev were complaining about the other consultant team, and about how they know nothing, but just make themselves appear better then they are.2 -
As a consultant, you get tasked with a variety of stuff. Last few weeks been struggling to maintain an old C++ application that was written by a complete tool of an a$$hole with zero knowledge on how to write maintainable and production quality code. It would hardly run without a crash. First it was a challenge I had to accept, but as I stabilized the code and just fell over even more traps, I had to admit defeat and review my approach.
Rewrite is something I would choose last, but this one ticked all the marks worthy of a rewrite. So, the customer is a very friendly researcher and gladly spent 15 hours with me explaining all the math and concepts - just a delight for a programmer to have such a customer. Two days in, with a DDD approach - a functional, more precise, faster and stable application.
Sometimes there is no rant to share, it's rare to have that perfect communication with a customer that is so dedicated that he spends so much time teaching you his speciality and actually understand your approach. DDD was really a lifesaver here, by using it's key concepts and ubiquitous language. The program is essentially 8000 lines of math, but wrapping it up with value objects and strong domain models made me understand his domain and him mine. It also allowed me to parallelize the computations, giving me a huge performance boost. Textbook approach, there will not be many like this!4 -
I have been working 9 months as consultant for a company thru a vendor. The contract will finish in two weeks, the company want to continue working with me, I can't be hired directly, should be thru a vendor. The problem is that today I confirmed that this vendor bill the company the double and want me to sign again with them for the same rate, I can't switch to another vendor because there is a non-compete clause. What would you do in my case? I feel like that squirrel
13 -
Hi yall! I've been here a while, but never actually posted anything. Love reading your rants though, always makes me giggle^^
Anyways, I'm a IT student and I got this new job as an IT-consultant.
So we had this big meeting today, together with the CEO and a lot of other new employees with different engineering profession... So everything went fine until the end. We were supposed to stand up and say our names, what we're studying and tell a fun fact about ourselves and I TOTALLY fucked it up... I kinda said my name, I completely forgot to tell what I'm studying and my fun fact was something about ppl having a hard time with my name. Like, wtf are you even saying dude?! All I wanted was to was write code, why can't I just do that?4 -
Coding has actually made my life more social.
Because I taught myself programming, I became a consultant.
I got to meet nice colleagues, customers and managed to become good friends with some of them.
Because of programming, I moved to a big city and I have lived like a f*cking rockstar!2 -
My boss went full psycho. I'll save her from some shame by not posting the email.
In one email she insulted every quality assurance consultant in the company.
She is supposed to be head of assurance5 -
Today a junior dev from the company I'm working at as consultant, suddenly shouted:
😤"why the hell my software behaves differently on every pc here in the office ... But it works on my machine? I'm sure there's something wrong with the OS/Framework"
🤔 let me think for a moment ...
* is it because the whole office keep developing like the ancient romans did?
* is it because that software is such a mess that requires a wizard in order to manually change all the magic configuration strings ?
* is it because every damn developer there has his particular environment and the word "container" reminds you only the show where the people bid for unclaimed shit ?
* is it because the "guru" at your company decided it was a super cool idea to wrap EVERY single external library (that just works out of the box) into some obscure static helper without even a single trace of documentation and clue of what's wrong?
🤗"I don't know... Must be a bug in the OS or framework for sure" -
After 3 years of being the first in and last to leave, of getting other people's work reassigned to me - P can't complete it on time, G doesn't like the user, A refuses to work on that module, etc... I finally blew last Sept.
In the span of 2 days, my boss brought me into a project 1.5 years in (she doesn't trust P to do the coding) and expected me to be up to speed and coding in a couple of days, told the functional dept that I would cover for one of their guys on vaca for three weeks and assigned me to take over a HUGE project from one of the other functional guys who wasn't getting it done. So basically I'm now doing Ps job AND supporting another department AND taking control of a large project from another department. I'm the idiot working 14 hour days while they're all leaving on time or enjoying their 3 week vaca to India.
I lost it. It's bad enough filling in the gaps in my own department but when I'm now taking on work for other departments, that's where I draw the line. I sent my boss my resignation - just could not take the inequity in the work load.
I'm still working here - my boss ended up hiring a consultant to handle the functional project and told the functional group to find their own vacation coverage. She's also monitoring workloads much closer now. I still habe an ongoing issue with having to complete other peoples work for them but I'm not working OT to do it. So speaking up helps. So does quitting.2 -
So, I'm travelling back with my boss from a client and he stopped for a meeting in another city. Now I'm here like...
6 -
Today's full day meeting accomplishments:
- start 9:00 am
- updated intellij idea
- updated fedora
- checked out servers to see if everything was OK
- lunch break
- people agreed that "we are just gonna do it and plan later"
- presented my status on the actual meeting subject
- me and the consultant realised we are really fucked :)
- meeting ended 5:30 pm
Yay!5 -
A technology focussed recruitment consultant took great pride in recalling the first time he met a "real life developer". He was wearing a suit. Developer was wearing a Slipknot t-shirt. It was a defining moment for him.
Think he released a little man jelly in excitement.2 -
Found out today that the company wants to hire the consultant that thinks that unit testing is a waste of time, CI and code coverage metrics are useless, DI is mumbo-jumbo. But 500+ line procedural methods are fine, you just start the method with a small essay of a comment on what it does...6
-
Currently being paid full consultant salary to watch printer software install itself. This is exactly what I hoped to do when I started my company.. At least the money is good.
2 -
//rant
So I'm a BI consultant, been doing this for about 6 years now, and I'm pretty good at the data stuffs. Now I had to complete a project for a client where we call a web service and it had to be done in .NET. I wrote a console app in C# that called the WS, dumped the data then a stored proc processed the staging tables into final tables that our visualization tool can consume.
It works, it's done.
Mind you I'm not a pure .NET developer.
And now that it's completed and working this fucking .NET dude that works for my client is basically giving me an attitude talking about "why wasn't it done as a Windows service? Blah, blah" Like WTF!!??? I get that he's the C# BSD but like chill bruh!!
It's annoying as fuck having to work on projects that are not your area of EXPERTISE and then be ridiculed by other elitist assholes about it.
Doesn't happen much, but fuck it's something I hate about dev. FYI, if it was the opposite I would just be asking questions for understanding, not being a sarcastic prick.
//rant done5 -
!rant
Going to negotiate my starting salary as a Junior Engineer/Consultant in 30 minutes.
Wish me luck!4 -
Surprisingly frequently in my city, a few weeks ago for example I was in the pub discussing reactjs with a friend of mine from uni and a random bloke cut in with "there was nothing wrong with jquery" (he had a massive grin on his face, so he knew what he said). Spent the rest of the night talking with him and his son who were both consultant developers.
Fun night 🤣 -
Yesterday one of our clients gave us the OK to launch their annual financial reports, 4 minutes before stock market closed and most of us was heading home.
Problem was we didn't have the proper access to their servers, so I and a senior consultant just spent a few hours calling our client and their IT infrastructure provider.
6 hours later, a large bill from the IT provider for after hours work, the job was done. A job that would take 5 minutes of uploading and 5 minutes of database transfer. -
I hate dealing with third party go betweens; a "consultant" contracted us to do some work for his client, basically making us sub-contractors. He didn't really know what the client wanted, but asked us to put together a general project based on some specs.
I should have said no... 2 weeks later, client asks for the project, the consultant gets it from us, and client is not happy. Consultant blames us. Fucking hogwash, we delivered what he gave us for spec.
So I got to spend all day fucking re-tooling and configuring the project. I've already blown the deposit amount, so here's hoping the money fucking goes through tomorrow. If the client changes his mind on the spec tomorrow instead, I'm invoicing and telling him to fuck off.
Worst part? This was one of my junior devs projects, and he was pretty proud of it. He got slammed by the consultant before I took over as point of contact. I'm fucking pissed that anyone would degrade my staff when they are doing their best with limited info and a giant fucking job.4 -
I work as a consultant and my company wanted to send me on an engagement at a client who's main product is a well known online coding course. Their whole product is teaching lay people how to code. They decided the night before I was going to start that they didn't want me consulting with them because I "didn't have a CS degree."🤔
(PS: Their head of curriculum was actually a mentor and teacher of mine instrumental in my becoming a programmer...)
SMH3 -
So it's been a while since I've posted as my first few months at the new job have been amazing. But now I'm running into issues with a team member that I need to get off my chest.
So my new job is front end development in React. I'm brand new to it but I was promised time to learn on the job. On my first day the team member I'm now having a conflict with offered me help. He's the most experienced so I gladly took it.
But now several months in I've noticed his teaching style doesn't work for me. He'll go into long theoretical explanations whenever I ask a question and I get overwhelmed with info. And he gets frustrated with my inability to process all that, because he feels I waste his time. So frustrated that at one time he just walked out of work and drove home, which was really upsetting to everyone.
My direct manager and my mentor in the company (our software architect), as well as our scrum master (a consultant) are all aware of the conflict. I've been assigned another colleague to help me out. Things were going ok but he got sick so I had to turn back to the team member with the conflict for assistance. Of course frustrations arose again.
Now yesterday during our sprint planning meeting we had to say what we liked and didn't like about the past sprint. And I brought up I feel I need time for learning and that I don't know where to put that, since we don't have a task for it. I said I also felt past approaches weren't working out and that I'd like to take up the offer to go on training. I was trying to word it very neutral to not upset my colleagues, as they tried their best. But the colleague who I had previous conflicts with took it personal and accused me of not listening and that is why my code is awful. While all I've been doing is rely on his code to learn. Long story short it got very heated and direct manager and scrum master who were present had to shut it down.
I'm thinking of talking to my manager and mentor today. It really hurts when you're accused of maliciousness when all you did was try. I know my code isn't perfect. But I get no help in improving it beyond long winded explanations about theory. If I ask for practical help he says he won't write my code for me. Which isn't what I expect. When I say I followed his example he says I shouldn't copy. But two sentences later he says if I don't know what I am doing I should listen to him. It's really very confused and demotivating as a beginner, but he makes it about how I waste his time and ruin his job for him. I understand he tries his best and that it has to be hard when someone seemingly is as dumb as a bag of bricks. But my manager and mentor told me they support me as long as I continue to show improvement. So I asked for alternatives (training, time to study, or whatever I haven't thought of) and now I feel like the bad person. I'm already someone with crippling low self esteem, and I'm thrown into the deep end. It kinda sucks when someone then tells you from the sideline you can't swim and how swimming works. How about tossing me one of those floaty things and then maybe accept I need to hold on to that for a bit and my technique will need work until I can make it on my own? :(3 -
I work as a .Net consultant. Currently I am at a company that blocks all sociale media sites and sites that look like 'em. I don't mind the social media, but YouTube is also blocked and I need my dose of daily epic music world while developing. So, I set up a proxy on my server to easily bypass these blockades. Note: company policy says nothing about not being allowed certain websites, I always read this before using this trick.
Last week, a new guy joined the company and gets a desk just next to me. After a lot of looking at my screens and trying stuff he asks me for the entire office: "Hey how are you going on YouTube? It doesn't see to work for me.". 😫
The rest of the day, I had to explain to co-workers what a proxy is (they don't care about any tech they don't need...). And I had to explain to the pm that I was not hacking their network...
I'm not sure if I will be getting along with this new guy.... 😧1 -
Hate these managers.
I started working on a company 6 months back. When i joined i was told such amazing things about this place. I was given a job to develop a tool for a client. I did that alone. Now that the final deployment is done i am not needed there any more. I can start looking for outside work. WTF why would you hire a guy if you want him to work for only 3-4 months when you can hire a consultant or someone on contract or mention that in beginning. Fuck you even i want to leave this place now as soon as possible but still have to see their stupid faces for next 2 weeks.2 -
I am looking for a job, does any one needs a ceo or a consultant? I can be helpful. I have experience of four failed projects, two were of my own and have experience of one successful one.27
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We were forced by the enterprise architect team (people that knows almost nothing about web development) to use EdgeIPK an application technology that renders html-js-css using a designer mode to produce a cutting edge web site.
After 8 months of headaches and the resignation of the EdgeIPK web developer consultant we rewrote the entire thing with something else. -
What do people think of LinkedIn?
I keep getting pointless messages about introductory level positions, integration consultant or sales stuff, all for salaries below my current by a significant margin.
Has anyone had anything useful?
The fact that the second suggested tag is "LinkedIn is shit" may have just answered my question...3 -
Best comment of the day! Found on one of our clients code. (eCommerce)
// If you are full time then please don't refactor this code.
// if you are consultant then charge triple! -
Be me, get a consultant job, go to a supposedly great client that has fame of getting scouted by Google. (attn: I doubted all this shit before I started)
Learn the basics by a awesome mentor and trial/error stuff at the same time to get the hang of things, after that was done, I noticed there was no documentation whatsoever, code is spaghetti and your documentation, good luck!
Royal spaghetti, you can't make heads or tails of it, dev code in production, empty try/catch blocks, empty statements, if (true)... (incl. their core classes)
Keep in mind this is a multi milion dollar company...
Someone please understand my pain...6 -
I was working in the field for about 6 years, and had my bachelors (working on masters). I went to Robert Half Technology looking for work, and the recruiter there said I didn't have enough experience (are you kidding me?) and that she couldn't market me.
I went to another office location 4 years later, and they hired me on full time (very unorthodox) as a consultant because 'I was a purple squirrel guru". (what ever that means)
The original recruiter at the other location now is forced to find positions and contracts for me without 1 ounce of say in the matter. If I am waiting on another contract, I get paid, it's like vacation. Makes it so much sweeter5 -
Here is a story about 5 years of my life.
My studies had little to do with web. I did embedded systems (architecture and software) but quickly realized that I couldn't see myself living my life in my homecoutry and that my degree would be worth little to no more than shit elsewhere in the world. That was on my 3rd year in uni.
I liked coding so I decided to pursue computer science, then web development. For that, your degree mattered little.
From then on, when I wasn't in class I was doing some coding.
This allowed me to get short (2 months) internships in Mobile and web development, 4 in total.
Doing so I had made it so that my professors would allow me to do my graduation project in web and mobile dev. That project having ended, I secured a long (1year and a half) internship in Mumbai India doing web for a big consulting company. Having finished that I headed to Belgium for my current job. All with having no to little financial resources except what I could come up with.
"I'm proud of all the efforts it took to make it" is what I think sometimes but what is it that I made? I realized my first objective which is to be on the international job market, but now that I genuinely love software I realize that I didn't really make anything I can be proud of working as a consultant. And having worked on many things but not a lot on practically anything, it's getting hard to do something else.
I'm hoping for devranters insight on how I should proceed.2 -
My old boss knew that, since i had finished my CS degree, I was looking for a software dev job, so he introduced me so a lead dev at a consultant company, who in turn introduced me to a bunch of people, one of which offered me a interview and hired me :P
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Consultant: "I don't agree with that, it's got to be something else" when you point to a known fault with the function they are using in the framework.
Then you send them 10 articles from stackoverflow and the framework's own website.
Consultant: "Oh. Thank you."
Just let me fix the damned bugs and not have to justify every single fucking change I have to make to make the damned thing work the way it is fucking supposed to.
This is why we can't have nice things. -
You constantly see these professional profiles with labels such as 'Expert'/10 years experience/senior/CTO/CIO/Consultant.
Isn't it funny when you go and work with these people in the field, they appear to be frauds? How can these people legitimately have these titles and know less than a snotty freshman year student? Their knowledge is so poor, a 14-year old with basic Windows and Javascript knowledge could outmatch them. If only this weren't true.
I think it's very unfair because they attract employers and they even get hired, while some of us with veteran knowledge in several fields don't get considered for a job.
May I add that it's always the funny guys who get a job. Apparently being a relatable frat bro at an interview is more important than having priceless expert knowledge.1 -
Well after having a major sense of humour failure last week https://devrant.com/rants/1365062/...
My company has an internal application that is used for billing clients and customers. There are several versions.
Starting next week the consultant who wrote this and I will be sitting down together for about 2 hours or so twice a week to start going through the code stuff etc.
I already have a job to start testing a new version this program, and this version is going to be handed over to me and will be my baby.
Things are starting to look up, I’m still trying to get them to swap my PC for a laptop though, so I can do work from home etc. -
Age 8 - Gets first computer and struggles with dial up Internet and my parents yelling at that they ended to use the phone
Ages 12 to 18 - Gets first laptop, starts messing around and interested in websites, gets involved with SMF, and open source message board system written in Php, and starts helping people out, eventually getting paid work for setting up websites etc.. which lead onto learning html/CSS and picking up bits and pieces of Php (and also Photoshop/Illustrator etc..)
Age 18 - Goes to college to study Multimedia, refreshes knowledge of HTML/CSS, learns a bit of Actionscript and some PHP
Age 20 - finishes Multimedia degree, ends up working as an IT consultant for a small business, which leads me to pick up a bit of bash scripting, small hit more PHP. Leaves this after 3months and decides to do a small Software Dev course. Get my first taste of Java and Visual Basic there
21 - Enter into a Software Dev degree. Dive deep into Java and a small bit of Javascript.
23 - After 2nd year of college get taken on an internship with a large multinational where I learn and get hands on experience with Angular, JS, Coffeescript and C#
Present Day - currently coming up to the end of my degree and can switch between Java, C#, Python, Coffeescript/Javascript (front-end or Node) , C and Golang, C and Python introductions from college modules which I kept playing with in my spare time, Golang I just heard of and decided to write a few things in it because why not, I've picked up various frameworks (spring, echo, express etc.) at some point. I basically learn by doing, if something interests me and I enjoy it, I seem to pick it up quickly by diving in and trying to use it.1 -
!rant
Landed my first time job as an consultant, while still studying. Hopefully this will go good, only have 4 months left of university.
However, I am surprised of how little coding it actually is... I've been spending my first month just learning a new system, so I can finally go out to a big customer and redo their production system (factories).
Meetings all day, a lot of talking... I kind of dislike it, but also like it. It is a special feeling. I wonder how it will feel in 6 months from now. -
Working for 5 months as a junior dev. I receive a request to check out a data issue at client, no one knows what is happening. I quickly find a data import issue and let everybody know. Few days later apparently issue is still not solved. A senior data consultant approaches me asking for help.
senior: 'So, any idea what's wrong with the data?'
me: 'Yeah, someone messed up the import. Just delete it and import it again.'
senior: 'How do you know?'
me: 'Because <insert valid arguments>'
senior: Wow, very clever. Amazing work. I wouldn't have thought about that. Great job'
A few moments later I receive an email from the senior with all the stakeholders in the cc: 'I found the problem and I have a solution <copy/paste my words>'
4 -
When I was fresh out of school at my first job, we worked with an external consultant that refused to answer my emails directly since I was only a lite shit kid. Had to send all my emails thru my boss to get a reply.
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Taking a class at my local university for fun where the point of the class is to build some kind of project for local companies. The teacher talks a lot about Wordpress and how great it is... He's not a dev, and has only worked as a business consultant/pm.... It's gonna be a long semester, but at least he's funny and has good choices in tv shows to include in his lectures.1
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Had to explain for 30 minutes to a consultant why:
1. registering a the container in the container.
2. writing abstraction for the container to use the abstraction of the container internally.
3. doing service locator thus hiding dependences.
4. having your business logic code know about DI.
5. writing log4net in a massively over complicated manner just because you didn't read the fucking manual.
6. coping code from github into our source.
are just wrong. -
Revenge of the developer.
After our project consultants aren't good at planning projects I started my revenge. They will get soon a heart attack or paranoia...
Every time I need something from them (cause they missed it in the specs) and see them at the end of the floor. I stealth in their room and stand behind their door. When they are sitting, the door is closing mystically and I step to them. The faces are hilarious. That's my way to teach them to write better Specs :) -
when the client's consultant try to micro manage the project and create panic on the whole team... fml2
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I don’t know what I am ? Analyst ? Programmer? Engineer? Consultant? I seem to be doing a shit load of non programming stuff2
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The amount of repetition and vagueness in this unsollicited recruiter job invite is insane: "Current Technology Sector Consultant". I've had 10's of invites from these recruiters on Linkedin, blocked all of them and they just keep coming back despite my Linkedin preference being set to let recruiters know "that I'm NOT open to opportunities"
If you ever get an offer from VMR consultants / J People consider these reviews carefully: https://glassdoor.co.uk/Reviews/....
I'm naming the company because it seriously deserves to be exposed for its bad practices towards both their potential and current employees.
3 -
TL;DR Shit programer trying pass off stealing code as "Recycling"
Backstory:
Client hires senior dev. He lied and knows nothing. Has been causing havoc in production since day 1. My crusades to defend production have been without much success.
Since he wants to LITERALLY put his name on every big project, he finds any reason to make a new version of it (or make a slight astetic modification) to say he did something.
The client doesn't know or care about the programming side of things. Which means it is incredibly difficult to get him to understand the issues this brings. Not to mention that the "senior dev" is acting as a consultant to the client, altering the facts.
Story:
The piece of shit, is trying to make a new version of a big project. It was originally made by my mentor. Again, if you are using someone else's work to complete your own, I don't care. But if you take 99% of another person's work and then say...
"I took and existing project, which was similar to what I'm trying to make. Then I modified it to fit our needs."
Fuck you man!
You took someone else's work. Now you're trying to present it as your own. No references to our team. Again, there is literally nothing new about this project. It's exactly like the original. The client didn't even ask for this.3 -
i started a new job as a BI consultant. I thought that it included programming but it does not in my case :/3
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I worked on a project that used an archaic homegrown library written by a consultant that had zero documentation, tons of reflection and here is the kicker... the consultant refused to give us the source code as it was "his intellectual property" so we couldn't make any sense of how to actually use it. Moreover, he worked remotely so the timezone difference between us meant that any questions we had took ages to get answered. Glad to be away from that project now.4
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This movie is so recognizable: "The Expert". Really, a must see for every IT related consultant out there. Not once, I have felt exactly like this guy: https://m.youtube.com/watch/...7
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This is about an "Entrepreneurs", we as a consultant company with experience helping new businesses grow and consolidate, So we get a lot of clients who want our help growing their "startups".
Once I was talking on the phone with one of these who has a "millionaire" idea:
Client: I have a great idea of an app to monitor and control (an spyware) students phones when they were at their schools using geofences.
Me: Ok... What do you want us to do? (Thinking he wanted us to develop this spyware)
Client: I want you to get the support of the National Department of Education so we can convince the cellphone OEMs to integrate this app as an integral part of the cellphones.
Me: (Are you out of your mind?) I don't think it is possible for us to do that, first of all this app violates the user privacy and I don't any end user will consent to something like this.
Client: They won't have a choice, bla, bla, bla.
Me: (laughing inside and trying to learn more) Ok, so do you have an idea of how you want to monetize this?
Client: Since everyone will have this app on their cellphone, we will send them advertising and they won't be able to block it or skip it.
Me: Ok, Do you have a MVP ready?, What's the name of your company?.
Client: I have a presentation only, Do you want it?
Me: So you don't have anything tangible?
Client: I am still searching for seed money, bla, bla
Me: So how did you plan to pay us?
Client: This is a great idea, it will make millions.
Me: I don't think we can help you as you want, since there are very sensible topics about privacy and I need to speak with out lawyer, etc, but I can offer you other services like bla, bla.
Client:...
Me: We can talk later. (hang up)
Me: (Block that son of a bitch!)
I told everyone the story about this client and we all laugh.
What do you do about this type of wanna be entrepreneurs and their "super ideas"?1 -
Music, mostly Epic Music World or piano music.
I am a consultant and currently working at a company where nobody listens to music... I cannot understand how they do it! 😱
If I cannot listen to music at work, I cannot concentrate. -
Why do these e-marketing companies always have some kind of manager/consultant/strategist/marketeer/whatever to handle emails between me and their devs. Instead of emailing with another technical person and quickly fixing the problem I end up sending one billion emails to someone who has no clue on what needs to be done to fix te problem. From now on my emails contains a part called "to your developer:" explaining the technical part of the email.
And no - I don't want to plan a conference call... just let me code dammit! -
I recently got a job interview and i am finally working as a junior consultant!
The most exciting thing is the fact that I am still studying Informatic Engineering .
I have still a long road to walk since I am still on the second year of a three years course. But finally I feel that my knowledge is being appreciated and I can use that in order to help a company.
If any experts in this area could give me advice, I am going forward to read them. I am new to devRant too !4 -
Just received a connection request on Linked In of a Recruitment Consultant. Searched the company to see at least what they do and their official website is made by WordPress... I didn't even need to see the code of the first page to know that...
2 -
That moment people assume you don't know things because you are generally quiet because they are around their friends. Uhm, I got the job and had to go through months of interviews, tests, video chats, probation periods and got the job almost 3 months earlier than I should and got promoted to a better team, you don't see me trying to demean your job as a call center consultant here around all the developers I know. Just lemme drink my coffee in peace :(
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!rant
I had a second stage technical interview for a job today. I met three devs who prodded my experience and gave me a task to do (design a complete system architecture for registering sheep, I got ten minutes). I think it went well because after the interview they invited me out for dinner!
Feels good! I might become a consultant soon. -
Just got my first job as a developer after getting my bachelor in computer science! 😁 Any tips and tricks for a newbie consultant?2
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Is it normal for a big corporation to not give a tour to a new employee, say when is our lunch time, when do I leave and just load a 2k page book (vol1 of 2)? It's my 1st job and I'm a junior consultant...2
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I was looking at the code from my first project after i started working. It was initially created by a consultant who in his own words "had no idea what he was doing". I found this wonderful comment. Its swedish but roughly translates to "This is completely wrong... Or maybe not" (It was) :D
2 -
Today my unixstickers propack arrived finally!🤑
Telling the truth I am not evnolved in any of these technologies 🤣. I am an SAP/ABAP consultant with one year of experience and I don't feel I am going to put these over my Thinkpad🤔
Maybe it's time to get some devRant stickers, I really love them☺️
5 -
!dev
I got two phone numbers, first is prepaid registered for me, second is on some shitty plan registered on my company.
Today I am trying to merge those two numbers to be company numbers and first one should be main number.
Have been in telco company office twice already.
2,5 hours and still no success.
Now I got back home and waiting for phone call from consultant because some software is not working and he can’t do anything right now.
I got used to fact that the bigger company the more shitty software it have and nothing is working as expected but it is happening to me every time I try to improve my life and make it simpler.
Fax was more reliable then todays software.
I miss paper and analog way of doing business.2 -
So i'm a new-baked developer, educated through a company's Accelerated Learning program and starter as a junior consultant this month. I met this guy at a school event and we talked about their company and their future project and we had a good chat. So I asked our recruiters a couple of days later if there was a possibility to be presented as a consultant for the company. A week later or so I receive a call from the recruiter responsible for said company which ends up in a scheduled interview. Yay!
The interview was scheduled for yesterday. In the morning my recruiter calls me and tells me that the interview has been cancelled. She tells me the she had not been given an explanation to why, but that she'll come back to me after lunch with an update. No call..
So after lunch today I try to call her and no response. So I leave a message to show my interest and to aski if she heard anything and if there might be a new date coming up.
The afternoon passes and by the end of the day still no reply. But 2 of my class mates tell me that they're going for an interview tommorrow, after having talked to the very same recruiter on our company. I feel so backstabbed. I started this whole recruitment process and now they've just tossed me out? What the hell is this?!! I'm so raging right now!
Gonna give the recruiter another call tommorrow morning, and after that I'm taking it to her manager. Any suggestions on what to say?1 -
For Software consultants.
I am newbie with 2 years of development experience. What should be my road map for being an independent software consultant in the long run.2 -
Why would anyone want to study and have years of experience in boring-ass jobs like QA, BI,specific enterprise applications consultant(e.g SAP/Salesforce), PC technician, helpdesk, integrator or sales.
I understand people who lack experience in more sexy stuff and have no choice, or do this temporarily. But I met some people who do it for years out of their own will. Why? There are far more interesting jobs in the tech world.1 -
Honestly I've had good luck, every single boss I've ever had has been great up until the most recent project manager (not people manager) at my latest consultant gig.
Guy was 60+, had the mindset that NOTHING can get done without a meeting, and that your ass in a seat is the most important metric of true productivity.
Coming from a mostly remote background with 50% travel, this was a huge pain in the neck to deal with for the last 2 months.
Luckily he's gone now (no one liked him...who would have thought). -
!rant
Rant from my previous work as a consultant Data Engineer (wish I had known this site back then).
During my stay at the place, we have a big client whose contact with us was an incompetent stressful fellow.
I single-handedly build a humongous automated data pipeline using Airflow. I am very proud of my baby as my first massive project and check it obsessively for every possible flaw, especially when writing down documentation for the poor soul that would take my place.
Luckily for me, everything is working as intended, until of course on my last day of work, shit hits the fan, and everything breaks down.
After a moment of initial panic: it was Thursday morning, we had a Machine Learning model to run over the weekend, predictions to make and reports to write and a very lovely next week deadline, I calm down.
"I won't be dealing with this shit anymore, starting from 18:00 PM and anyway Fear Is The Mind Killer."
Quite sure that it couldn't have been my code, I start looking at various logs when the culprit was clear. The B(ig) S(tupid) C(lient) changed the whole schema of the data he was feeding to us.
I call him: he has no idea of what was done to the data. Hell, at first he doesn't seem to remember what the deal with schema, data, and SQL is (the guy was supposed to be a big shot in the IT department). It turns out he hired one of our competitors to do his side of the collection pipeline. He tries to get mad at me, but everything he throws bounces back to him. I am calm yet ruthless pointing out how every major hiccup had been his fault and that I could quickly reach to his board of directors explaining why their Machine Learning model was late.
Result: he apologizes, extends our deadline, and I get a round of applause from other juniors who would have to deal with me had I failed.
Never am I happier to not work as an underpaid cannon fodder apprentice in a shitty consultant firm.
Luckily for me, everything is working as intended, until of course on my last day of work, shit hits the fan, and everything breaks down.
After a moment of initial panic: it was Thursday morning, we had a Machine Learning model to run over the weekend, predictions to make and reports to write and a very lovely next week deadline, I calm down.
"I won't be dealing with this shit anymore, starting from 18:00 PM and anyway Fear Is The Mind Killer."
Quite sure that it couldn't have been my code, I start looking at various logs when the culprit was clear. The B(ig) S(tupid) C(lient) changed the whole schema of the data he was feeding to us.
I call him: he has no idea of what was done to the data. Hell, at first he doesn't seem to remember what the deal with schema, data, and SQL is (the guy was supposed to be a big shot in the IT department). It turns out he hired one of our competitors to do his side of the collection pipeline. He tries to get mad at me, but everything he throws bounces back to him. I am calm yet ruthless pointing out how every major hiccup had been his fault and that I could quickly reach to his board of directors explaining why their Machine Learning model was late.
Result: he apologizes, extends our deadline, and I get a round of applause from other juniors who would have to deal with me had I failed.
Never am I happier to not work as an underpaid cannon fodder apprentice in a shitty consultant firm. -
Almost any internally tool developed by a non-dev who has read a book 'learning to program in 21 days' and now thinks he can code. Usually it is developer in excel and as years pass complete departments depend on it until the moment a consultant is hired to completely rewrite it without any specs.
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Recently attended an interview. The guy was some random company consultant. Job description was for spring-boot (also required templating engine experience). He was asking me whether I know angular and JEE (completely different and kinda opposite of the job desc). That's a bummer but good thing I've messed around with these once or twice so I know whatsup.
Also, who the fuck has already got 7 programmers and wants to double up to 14 by only adding university students to the team (after teaching them angular and jee for a month, but whatever, its only a fucking month), in order to complete a new project with tight deadlines?
I don't think I'm sticking with this one...2 -
I'm not really a developer... but my Mum and Dad did both say "You are managing servers and coding? You are a geographer? Not a computer Scientist?" x1
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I had been working as an IT-consultant, for some year. Where I often had to educate about APM products, and a lot of them was over skype to outsourced IT departments in Asia.
I could use a hole dag teaching them about the product, and how to use specific part of them. Even though I asked them if they understood everything I have said. I never got any questions or had to immerse anything.
But almost every single time after, I got a ton of email asking about everything I said. Why just why, would you just sit, smile and nod. If you did not understand anything. So I had to use days, going over the same presentation over and over again, to each and every participant.
Now I am so happy I gave the company the finger, and became a full-time developer instead.1 -
Hello coders!
I'm a student expected to graduate in about two months.
I (Allhamdolillah) already have an offer for a job in a company with good repo; they usually work in web (python technologies)
As of now, I'm doing an internship at a totally new company (separated from a famous company too but not very famous itself) as an ERP technical consultant (internee). They also have put forward a job offer.
I am hell confused to decide one.
I joined it coz I was curious about ERP. But their offer is a lot less then the other one.
I have decided two pathways.
1) Python web > Cloud > Data Sciences
2) ERP (either NAV or AX)
Any suggestions from the experienced? What should I prefer? A good company? A good package? Take risk?
Things that might help you guys to help me:
I like python a lot, it was my best selling gig on fiverr. But (apparently with no practical knowledge) I'm not much excited about web as of now.
ERP is a gooood field I know that.
It's fun sometimes irritating though.
Though sometimes I feel like I will get stuck in that field...
I have a strong technical background and have won many programming competitions(university level/national level/even stood runnner up, 2 times in ICPC regionals).3 -
So...I think I have a job now sort of...just signed my first big long-term gig as a consultant/dev for an US based startup, pay promises to be solid, the CEO seems to be shill and they'll pay me for hours worked with a relatively low minimum which is great because that freedom will allow me to continue my projects and dumb college assignments.
Let's hope neither of the two parties fuck it up. -
Vague requirement for feature A received from client
Business consultant refines
Example mapping done
Acceptance criteria defined
Scheduled in sprint
Development done
Unit tests passed
Pull request reviewed
Code merged and deployed to system test
Functional testing successful
Deployed to UAT
Client asked to sign off
Client: "Actually I don't want that feature." -
!rant: Does anyone here work as a Microsoft Dynamics NAV developer of consultant? Or used to? I would really much like hear a little about what it involves on a daily basis, before jumping straight in...
Or if you work with ERP, CRM or BI in general I'd like a word with you. 😀 -
!rant
I’m thinking about switching job and trying a consult company and be a consultant.
I’m trying to get a grip if it’s any difference between that and being a developer at my current company.
I try to google but the result varies from “This is the best job ever!” To “This is the worst job ever!”.
I talked to a colleague of mine awhile back that said all in all there isn’t any difference. The code is the same, the work methods are the same and so on. One difference is that you can work at a project for one year and then you never see it again. Which is good if it’s a bad project and bad if it’s a fun project.
Another difference that he mentioned is that you have to make every hour count and you have to do something that the company can get paid for. And this is what makes me think twice. I’ve worked with IT for about 7 years but I’ve only been a developer for 1,5-2 years. I don’t know if I can produce as much as they want, being a junior developer and all, and maybe stay where I am for a year or two.
Do you guys have any thoughts about being a consult? Experiences, stories? All is welcome :) -
Many years in the same company waiting for an improvement in my career. Result: role change from Solution Manager to ICT consultant (better before) and Salary increase of 20% (better now). I simply do not understand my company behavior. Happy and Sad at the same time. What do you think? Titles do matter or not?
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Changing from being a developer to a SAP Business Analyst / Functional Consultant some years back was both my best and worst career choice.
Please don't hate me.1 -
My teachers at secondary school had training for python and offered it to students for about 10 people. I asked to take part and now I'm a contractor software development .Net consultant (Now that's a mouthful and half my development doesn't take place on .Net frameworks )
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Hello fellow developers,
I need a career advice from the DevRant community.
My question is:
Can I get a joining bonus from Capgemini if I'm joining within 15 days for the post of the associate consultant, because I've been told by HR that giving joining bonuses has stopped since January ’17?3 -
I'm lucky in my current main ally in all things development. I am a digital designer who has kind of fallen ass backward into being the company coder - because I had to redo our website in 6 weeks. He is a database/data admin who has ended up the company sysadmin and IT manager.
Together, we put things together however we can to get things working. We probably aren't the fastest or the flashiest, but we get things done in a way I've not experienced in previous jobs - it's refreshing to work with someone in a similar mindset of rather learning a tool and implementing something properly, than either hiring a random consultant or doing a half-assed job. -
!rant
Got a gig as a consultant (started Monday). Got my first engagement starting next Thursday. First time I've been excited about my work in a long time. Hope it stays that way!! -
Any devs on here whose title is actually Consultant? Just started at a position termed as such building solutions on AEM
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