Good job.

WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ONLY KEEPING THE LAST 10 BUILD ARTIFACTS IN ARTIFACTORY?!

THAT IS LITERALLY THE OPPOSITE OF HOW YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO USE IT

NOW I CAN'T ROLL BACK PROD CHANGES TO A WORKING VERSION BECAUSE IT LITERALLY DOESN'T EXIST ANYMORE

FUCK YOU, IT'S YOUR FIRE NOW

Internal mail form CIO's office:

"Thank you for being part of the internal trial for NPMe, we have decided to remove this tool in favour of Artifactory because of its support for multiple platforms and tools. We are sorry for the inconvenience, here is a link to migration scripts ..."

Migration "script" readme, please clone this repo, create file A, and B, and install these 2 dependencies.

Dependency 1:

- "install via homebrew ..."
- .... homebrew needs to update, checking for updates
- 10 mins later = Update failed, please upgrade to Ruby version 2.3
- Installs ruby version manager
- GPG signature verification failed
- Install GPG v2 + accept keys
- Install ruby version manager
- "please execute this command before running rvm"
- execute command
- "rvm install ruby-2.3"
- Install failed, please see log file
- Opens log file
- "Xcode on its own is not sufficient, please install xcode cli tools"
- Install xcode tools
- 5 minutes later -> "rvm install ruby-2.3"
- 10 minutes later "brew install jq"

Ok back to read me, "login to Artifactory, go here and copy paste XXX."

- Login to Artifactory
- Eventually find repo
- Login again to actually see credentials for some reason
- Screen doesn't match instructions in readme
- Click around
- Back to readme
- Back to artifactory
- Login again
- Execute command auth / setup command
- Copy contents to npmrc file .... now all my scoped packages are going to point to 1 specific repo

Fuck the migration, Fuck these shitty instructions, i'll set them all up again manually. See tags below for further opinions on this matter.

My favourite dev tool? I would't be able to do my work without any tool, which's in the list. I love IntelliJ IDEA & Webstorm, Java, JavaFX, Maven, Git & Gitlab, TeamCity, Upsource, YouTrack, Artifactory, wtf that list's kinda the complete tech stack. But I completly hate AWT & Swing (AWT fucks up on my Linux install, such a frame creates in about 10-20 seconds, if you test the app locally, you loose approximately 15 seconds per minute, and Swing uses AWT internally too), I hate Gradle (screw Google for standardizing it), and so on. Wow that's like my complete tech stack, what the fuck happend? The question was one tool, help me.

JFrog Artifactory uses HTTP POST for updating and HTTP PUT for creating.

... I'm correct to be offended by this yes?

I'm the lead dev on this team. The project is split into multiple separate modules to comply with separation of concerns, and so new devs don't need the whole fucking codebase (risking them running away with everything) to contribute to the project as a whole.

So we don't need a fucking config file to enable and disable features.

So we don't need to upload a 500mb monolith every time we want to test a change.

So we can test old fucking versions of modules without merging it back into the entire codebase.

What did this fucking dev do? He was having one small issue with Maven. One. It wasn't updating his local snapshots to the correct Artifactory version.

He decided, instead of trying to fucking fix it: HEY, LETS IGNORE THE LEAD DEV'S DEMAND TO KEEP THEM SEPARATE. IM GOING TO MERGE THEM INTO ONE MODULE FOR SOME FUCKING REASON.

I refuse to continue working with this dev if he's going to sidestep my demands and undermine my authority. He wants to go it alone? Be my fucking guest. I'm not touching his shitty single-codebase monolithic monstrosity.

If this is going to be a regular fucking occurrence, he can eat a dick and choke on it.

I landed myself an interview with a really great company for a DevOps intern position tomorrow.

Im really hopeful about this. The company truly seems like a great place to work with incredible opportunity to grow, and I desperately want to pursue a career in DevOps, but Im worried that Im underqualified. I lack true professional experience, and have really had no adequate time working with CI/CD tools, but I am very interested, excited and willing to work hard to become proficient.
Ive been prepping myself as much as I can in this last week (trying to gain familiarity with tools like jenkins, artifactory, chef etc), and so I ask to you, my fellow ranters (particularly DevOps), are there any final tips or bits of advice that I can take to really impress my interviewers and better my chances of getting this position?

Also, hello again to my old devRant pals~ I miss hanging around here and conversing with you great people

We've been using private GitHub repos as a distribution method for our personal npm packages at work for years.

I finally got sick of it and did the work to publish them to artifactory yesterday. Today, I worked out the remaining kinks, fixed the CI builds, and wrote a wiki page explaining the change with step by step migration instructions and sent it around to the rest of the devs. And it's working great!

I feel simultaneously like a hero for finally getting this fixed and an idiot for putting up with it for so long.

Also thankful for my devops friend who helped a bunch.

!rant
I fucking hate maven and its shitty principles and the pain in the ass it fucking is to fucking use a dependency from another fucking repo that isn't in your fucking artifactory yet and how it can't fucking resolve it even when you downloaded it manually to your fucking m2 cache

Week ago, leader of the artifacts/packages storage and mirroring with animal in Logo, fucked up our testing enabling new feature on theirs SaaS.

We created a ticket, they managed to fix that, although it took them long time to do so, probably due to timezones as fix was simple click on their Admin area.

Today they forwarded us email that there will be some changes that can impact prod ...

Great timing, great ..

Spent entire fucking day trying to get gradle to download library from internal artifactory because java didnt recognize the ca root cert i placed in java jre cacerts file. Goddamnit

I want to store my built application inside of some kind of registry or repository. Is this best practice and are there tools for doing this? I cant find anything except Artifactory, which is pretty expensive.

me: can you help me debug this issue in our artifactory server?
ops: we don't manage that server. devs do
me: can I get access to manage that server?
ops: why would you need access??
me: to manage server ಠ_ಠ
ops: exactly what commands you will need?
me: ಠ_ಠ

The big enterprise in which I work wants to mandate which we have to write a microservice for each individual HTTP endpoint, since we cannot even have an artifactory for code sharing the code duplication is going off the charts and having these microservices sharing a single DB we are creating a big and messy distributed monolith.

Today I came to work and all our main systems where offline (Gitlab, Artifactory, Time tracking, ...). Found out that one of the HDDs of our server (external hosted) died. I started copying some stuff from the second Raid hdd (just in case and because our backup is of course not complete [#notmyfault]) while their datacenter had a power outage.... I'm now waiting for our server to come back to get our systems running again

One of the truth no one wants to say because what can not be can not be.... but...
Maven is fuck... bullshit... failure by design.
For each project I need an own settings.xml. Always something not working. The same artifactory password 10 times there. Null pointer exceptions all over the place. Basics like versioning not really solved.
In all my years with Ant I never had so much problems than with Maven.
This settings.xml is really a design failure. Crap.

For our current project, we connect to three different OpenVPNs:

Our dev OpenVPN (to get Jenkins/Artifactory)
The ops team devops OpenVPN (to get to environment)
The vendor's VPN for single signon

All of them have different keys and one connects to LDAP and uses a password we can't change.

I need a package repository and I find jfrog artifactory. Seems great, except the OSS version is utterly useless. The pro version is overpriced, and does not support s3 buckets and the Enterprise version is >25k/year, just to store a half dozen npm and PHP packages on s3 storage? Are you fucking kidding me???

How can companies justify this much money for a package manager?