I asked my programmer buddy if her baby was a boy or a girl. She said "yes".

Nothing but the best for little bittersweet jr., so I mask up and bike out through the rain to buy the tiny girl the most expensive pacifier I can find.

When I hand it to baby, she giggles, grabs the nipple end in her fist, and passionately starts slobbering on the back of this luxury mouthhole-plug, sucking the edge, biting on the ring. Angry grunt, yeets the plastic object out of the crib.

Apparently, it doesn't meet her specs at all. When I fall to my knees asking what else I can do for her, she just pouts, groans, whines, and then falls asleep.

That's when I realized.

When my little monster grows up, she's going to be a product manager.

What's up with guys and girls using the 'def' word? It's like they're speaking Python.

guy: "sup babe. Wanna grab coffee later?"
girl: "def baby"

Today I get off at 1pm. Because of weather conditions. I swear i love this job.

Gonna pick my baby girl from the daycare at a good time. Head home, get us some hot chocolate and learn more about Smalltalk while mom gets home.

Today is gon b a good day.

Awwww yii

Just posting my stress ball!

New baby girl 🥰

Worryingly, at 4:04pm.

```We discovered that your app contains hidden features. Attempting to hide features, functionality or content in your app is considered egregious behavior and can lead to removal from the Apple Developer Program.```
- Apple App Store Publishing Team

.

ARE U FU KINV KIDDING ME

THAT IS THE COMPLETE REASON WHY YOU REJECTED MY APP?

THE SAME GODDAMN BUILD THAT WAS SUBMITTED ON GOOGLE PLAY FOR ANDROID GOT APPROVED IN 10 MINUTES

IS THE SAME BUILD VERSION THAT GOT REJECTED 3 DAYS AFTER REVIEW ON THE APP STORE

BECAUSE "THEY THINK" I HAVE HIDDEN FEATURES LOL WHAT ARE FU🤡🤡KING INSANE🤡 YO😂😂🤡🤡

THIS REJECTION REASON IS LIKE A SHITTY USER REVIEW

"omg baby girl this app is best" *1 star"

OR

"I have a crash pls fix its not work this app cz crashs n not fixes fck u developers fix it these prblms !!!!🍆🍆🍆👅👅👅💦💦💦💨🌬🌬🌬" *1 star*

AND GET THIS RN !!!!

RN !!!!!!

THEY EVEN *THREAT ME* TO BAN MY APPLE DEVELOPER PROGRAM ACCOUNT WHICH I. P A I D. F O R. $ 100 USD

BECAUSE MY APP HaS 'HIDDEN FEATURES'

THERE ARE NOOO9OO FI KING HIDDEN FEATURES U MTHHHFRRFKERSS I WILL CUMBLAST ALL OF UR APPLE HOLES INTO UR ASSHOLES AND GIVE BIRTH TO THE MAGGOTS🤡GROWING FROM WITHIN🤡UR FKIG ASSHOLE CZ ALL OF YALL R FKIN ASSHOLES🤡ANYWAY🤡THEN MY FKIG HOT CUM🤡WILL EXPLODE💦OUT OF YOUR🤡ASS AND U WILL BE CLOWNS FOREBER🤡I WORKED WAY TOO HARD TO DESERVE AN UNNECESSARY REJECTION THAT HAS A VAGUE REASON OF WHY IT WAS REJSCTED🤡🤡🤡

juuuuuuu

🤡hehe

Well it looks like I just might buy a barbie doll for my baby girl))

Having a baby while starting an IT company and learning IT at the same time.

Found myself crying and swinging a bat， listening to Limp Bizkit as i remembered what it felt to be 13 and being made fun of coz i hadn't kissed a girl yet.

Ok this is fucking freaky!!

I was talking to my girl that she mentioned a song on a phone call today and I was listening to YouTube and all of a sudden the same song she mentioned came up which is an old out of my regular genres.
I freaked out and told her that's why I have fucking privacy issues!
And then I suggested making myself a private chatting app...
Her next sentence was:
"Yes you can baby... Basically the world is your app store!" <- her first coders quote (we are contagious)

Slept for two hours tonight because of my baby girl... I've been staring at the same piece of code for an hour or so.. Had 2 double espressos.. Didn't work.. Ppl talking to me and im like...

That moment when I have to give my method a name, so I wonder if it will return a boy or a girl, and I check every baby names book at the library.
But none of them suit my need, I don't see myself calling a Mathew or Charlotte in the future.
I feel the stress in my bones, beneath my skin. The method is almost complete. And then it comes, like a shooting star through my mind.
There it is.
I shall call my method:

My girl friend was complaining that I care more about programming than her.
I told her,

"Trust me baby, in the array of my interests you are [1]."

She was satisfied.

By the time I’m able to put my baby girl to sleep, I get hungry again.....

I just remembered, I haven’t had pizza in a long time now...

So.. my baby girl have had high feber for some days so that today we took a trip to the hospital to get it checked up (no worries, she's fine). But while there i notise that their computersystems had Comic Sans as font. I don't know but that didnt really seem .. professional ?

Tried to take a Picture and got yelled at by a nurse. And later by my wife. Apparently i was the only one who saw joy in this..

This girl asked should she call me, I told her baby just wait, I'm a programmer I'll call you

Heya,
College is no place to chill and be laid back as shown in movies. The reality is that it is more challenging than school with peer pressure being no stranger to us.
Being a newbie in the tech domain, and being a girl, I felt the gender gap and the intimidation newbies like me go through when we see legit programmers who flaunt their skills and make it obvious that they exactly know what they are doing.
But along with all this ranting, for all the newbies out there, remember that this phase too shall pass and its not as scary as it seems (I kept convincing myself).
Always start with something easy and take baby steps, one good coding language to start with would be python, as it is more understandable and less intimidating and complex-looking than languages like C and C++.
I still struggle, but there are times when it gave me great joy like the time I developed an app with Flutter or when I managed to grab a free tee from hacktoberfest 2019.
Stay home and Stay safe buddy ;)
P.S: If you a dev and want some cool swags check the website devswag, you won't be disappointed :)

I'm clearly a little obsessed with Destiny, but it's what helps me unwind at the end of the day. Between working full time, 16 credit hours at school, and a baby girl coming in just a couple of weeks, I have to have something to escape reality for just a little bit sometimes.

Destiny isn't all I play, but it takes up most of the time and the game that - for that last several years at least - brings me the greatest amount of joy. It's the game that has finally made me buckle down and get serious about finishing school work on game dev.

Other activities include podcasts - which I am devouring nearly constantly - and movies. I have about 20 podcasts I'm currently actively subscribed to with another 20 that I have on reserve in case I get through my list too fast. As for movies, I watch them when I have time. Recent watches that I've enjoyed were Destroyed, On The Basis Of Sex, and Aquaman.

Waiting on a baby girl in a few weeks from today! Excited! Scared!
Any other future/current dads with babies with tips on how to handle a work from home with a baby?

A day in my life. This morning Dell was doing it's update on my laptop before I left for work, so later when I knew my wife was up I asked her via text to shut my laptop off.

W: "You left your laptop on this morning."
Me: "I know, it was still doing an update this morning. I sent you a text."
W: "Leaving your computer on all day is going to burn it up."
Me: "Its 8:30, been maybe a half hour isn't a day."
W: "Still wasting electricity. How do I turn this thing off?"
Me: "It's just like yours."
W: "No, your computer is way different than mine. Just tell me how to turn it off"
Me: "My computer is running Windows 11, yours is Windows 10, shutting down is exactly the same"
W: "I don't understand, yours looks completely different. Stop being an ass and just tell me"
Me: "Select Start, then shut down"
W: "Select what? There isn't anything that says Start"
Me: "Sorry, click the little icon in the bottom left. Looks like four little blue squares. That's the Windows Start menu button, just like yours."
W: "OK, now what?"
Me: "Shut down"
W: "Shut down what? I don't see anything"
Me: "The icon that looks like power button next to my name"
W: "There is nothing next to your name except your picture"
Me: "It'll be on the right hand side"
W: "Where the clock is?"
Me: "No, on the Start menu, where you see my picture, there should be a button to turn it off."
W: "No, it went away"
Me: "What do you mean went away?"
W: "All that disappeared when you told me to click over by the clock."
Me: "I didn't say to click on the clock, anyway, doesn't matter. Start over, select the icon in the bottom left"
W: "You're not listening. There is nothing there when I click that. You're such as ass. You cannot even tell me how to turn off this stupid computer. I'm busy, you can turn this thing off when you get home."
<a few minutes later I text my daughter>
Me: "Baby girl, can you turn off my computer?"
<10 seconds later>
H: "Done. Anything else?"
Me: "Nope. Thank you."

Walked up to my girl and dropped this:
"Hey baby, are you a TCP Connection? Cause you look like a SYNACK"

Oh yeah, WOOOOOOOOoooo!

Dev boy to Dev girl: "What's the time complexity on you loving me, baby?"

Dev girl: while(iExist){
Int n = Random.Next(1, 100);
for(int i =1; i < n^4; i++){
Console.Write("..."); } }

Dev boy: Assert.Fail();