My GF just selected all files on her harddrive and clicked "Open".

The look at her face when she figured out what she have done.

BONUS: She restarts her computer, and upon start she selects Yes to the "Your computer shutdown unexpected, would you like to re-open the applications" popup 😂

A customer did send a 3GB+ .txt file to the database guy in my office. He (senior dev) starts ranting about how he should handle this since his tools failed to do whatever he had to with this data.
After seeing him struggle some time I did a short search (I'm apprentice since 4 months) and then told him to use "split -l".

Programmer's son asks his father:
Dad, why do the sun rises on the east and sets on the west ?

Father: It works ! Do not dare to touch it.

### Should `markdown` be available in posts?
- [X] Yes
- [ ] No

Once Upon a Time.........
Three database SQL walked into a NoSQL bar.
A little while later they walked out Because they could not find a table.

My girlfriend told me to take the spider out instead of killing it.
We went and had some drinks.Cool guy. Wants to be a web developer.

Is it real?

I'm having a strong urge to kill that asshole that asked me, on a SECOND interview for a SENIOR position if I knew what ORM was!!!
Are you making me fucking waste my time you fucking cunt???
Did you fucking read my CV?
Obviously not because you would have seen several ORM technologies on it you fucking piece of shit.

You made me waste my time, and now I have no choice but to slice your fucking throat!

I'll be waiting for you, in the dark you mother fucker.

My boss wants me to make a web application in .NET, it's like asking a Android developer to build the app for iOS as well.
Note: Im a PHP developer

!rant
I laughed more than I should about my own code
Can you guess what small widely known game these textures belong to?

When you see a monitor with this error message on it:

Alert: Keyboard not found.
Press F12 to continue.

😂

Just in case..

0 and null

1. Learn to be meticulous.
1. Learn to anticipate and prepare a functionality up to 90% accuracy and coding it in a one shot.
1. Become advanced in SQL.
1. Increase my modularity abstraction awareness.
1. Learn to TDD properly.
1. Don‘t get angry with my kids but explain to them with papa is always right in a Calm voice.
1. Do the same for partner.
1. Train my speed running in case partner wants to bash me.
1. Become advance d in Java.
1. Learn to write a bot.
1. Learn more about servers and hack at least one thing even if its a wifi.
1. Install kali linux.
1. Make myself a custom pc.
1. Ask god (or buddha if god is too busy) to make days longer.
1. Buy a vaporiser ao i can smoke my weed without mixing it to tobacco.
1. Get my license.
1. Start investing.
1.........

I was in dependency hell for two days.
Im a junior working in a team creating an ember app. Suddenly a main component refuses to work since an addon threw "EmberObject undefined"... Nobody could reproduce it and we where out of ideas, so I tried fixing it for 2days (7h total). I finally got it working after updating yarn :D
It never felt so good working again :)

Had a markdown text in gitlab and tried to print it. It did not work.
Pasted it into atom then ctrl shift m
for markdown view and find out atom can not print. tried firefox instead of chrome, also no luck. After 15 min Odyssee I mark the text im chrome and rightclick+print it, works

I \u2764 javascript.
Am I alone?

Im curious to know how people organise their workspace on windows.

I learned coding with linux.

I scored my first real job and they use mac. All good.

But at home i game and sometimes i feel like coding/gaming at the same time. But fark i hate the terminal.

How do you make it more ho my zsh/ linux terminal comfortable?

Why should I hire a software Engineer, if I can just copy and paste code from Stack Overflow ???

Soooo I am an apprentice who just started his third year. Everybody in my team (3 ppl) left for better jobs.
I am now basically front and backend lead, teaching four new employees our restapi, web and javafx frontend.
At the same time I fix errors happening in production and develop new features.
I guess there are many great rants to come, so stay tuned :D
Going to write about things like tests that got disabled months ago after migrating to gradle, no documentation, finding out how to set up new development workstations with an outdated script missing important steps, management, print debugging in production and much more :)
Oh and it is not that bad, I learned more in the last month than in the two years before. (not saying my team was bad)

Yeah sure it is totally the fault of framework X being less popular than framework Y. That is the reason why you don't find devs for framework X.
The low pay and bad organisation has nothing to do with this. Yes it is probably the best idea to take the 4 years of work in X and continue it in Y. The devs will fight for a job where an Y app is integrated into an X app...

Software Idea: correlation between MicroShit updates vs number of rants on that date

guess that would give some interesting results

Finally, I got another me. It was so hard time for a long time. :)

Github Down - This is just another rant about Github being down.

[Imagine Github's Rainbow Unicorn Here]

Teamleading apprentice reporting in.
Today our new frontend employee told me our app wont start. I have wasted 90 minutes figuring out somebody installed an older node version via remote. Turned out the head of our administration thought: mhm it has been more than three weeks since they reported they had problems on the new frontend employee pc, lets check it out.

He did not inform anybody, not the user of the pc, me or the head of our IT department.

Fark delivery optimization. It ate up all of my data.

Being in the WEB office, but management doesn't allow you to have internet. Therfore needing to carefully SSH behind their backs and have an eye to in the neck for the doors

Need some suggestions for wireless noise canceling headphones

Program - a four letter word.
Programmer- person that converts caffeine to code.

Could you guys give me advice on how to write good code?

(I'm mostly doing TypeScript and C++)

And what other languages should I learn?

So I finally had a good idea.
I have programmed a proof of concept and now dont now what next.
I would like to make it open source and let people benefit from it. But at the same time I would like to make everybody using it to generate money pay a part to charity and a part to me.
How could I do this? Do I need a patent or a licence or what?
Is this even ok?