Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API

From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
Search - "hot programmer"
-
Testivus On Test Coverage
Early one morning, a programmer asked the great master:
“I am ready to write some unit tests. What code coverage should I aim for?”
The great master replied:
“Don’t worry about coverage, just write some good tests.”
The programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Later that day, a second programmer asked the same question.
The great master pointed at a pot of boiling water and said:
“How many grains of rice should I put in that pot?”
The programmer, looking puzzled, replied:
“How can I possibly tell you? It depends on how many people you need to feed, how hungry they are, what other food you are serving, how much rice you have available, and so on.”
“Exactly,” said the great master.
The second programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
Toward the end of the day, a third programmer came and asked the same question about code coverage.
“Eighty percent and no less!” Replied the master in a stern voice, pounding his fist on the table.
The third programmer smiled, bowed, and left.
...
After this last reply, a young apprentice approached the great master:
“Great master, today I overheard you answer the same question about code coverage with three different answers. Why?”
The great master stood up from his chair:
“Come get some fresh tea with me and let’s talk about it.”
After they filled their cups with smoking hot green tea, the great master began to answer:
“The first programmer is new and just getting started with testing. Right now he has a lot of code and no tests. He has a long way to go; focusing on code coverage at this time would be depressing and quite useless. He’s better off just getting used to writing and running some tests. He can worry about coverage later.”
“The second programmer, on the other hand, is quite experience both at programming and testing. When I replied by asking her how many grains of rice I should put in a pot, I helped her realize that the amount of testing necessary depends on a number of factors, and she knows those factors better than I do – it’s her code after all. There is no single, simple, answer, and she’s smart enough to handle the truth and work with that.”
“I see,” said the young apprentice, “but if there is no single simple answer, then why did you answer the third programmer ‘Eighty percent and no less’?”
The great master laughed so hard and loud that his belly, evidence that he drank more than just green tea, flopped up and down.
“The third programmer wants only simple answers – even when there are no simple answers … and then does not follow them anyway.”
The young apprentice and the grizzled great master finished drinking their tea in contemplative silence.
Found on stack overflow https://stackoverflow.com/questions...8 -
Never trust a hot chick that tell you "Wow you are a programmer? Tell me about it"
ATTENTION: DON'T TELL HER ABOUT IT8 -
A programmer finds a frog and picks it up. To his astonishment, the frog speaks.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess."
The programmer puts it in his pocket and moves on. The ignored frog speaks again.
- "Kiss me and I'll turn into a princess. I'll even kiss you and let you hold my hand for a day."
Once again ignored, the frog ups the stakes.
- "Alright, turn me into a princess and I'll be your girlfriend for a week. You can even show me to your friends."
No response.
- "Seriously, guy, I'm hot. I'll have sex with you, I'll tell all your friends we did it and you were awesome, you can use me as a trophy to brag."
This prompted a response out of the programmer:
"Look, I'm a programmer, I don't have time for a girlfriend. But a talking frog, that's kinda cool."4 -
After months of tedious research, I finally feel like I understand machine learning.
All of my programmer buddies are in envy, but I keep trying to explain that what I finally get is that it's not as hard as it's presented to be.
I feel like a lot of the terminology in machine learning is really pretentious and unnecessary, and just keeps new people from the field.
For example: I could say: "Yeah, I'm training a classification model with two input neurons, a hidden activation layer, and an output neuron", and you might think I was hot shit. But that just gets translated into "I'm putting in two inputs, sorting them, and outputting one thing".
I feel like if there was a plain language guide to machine learning, the field would be a lot more attractive to a lot more people. I know that's why it was hard for me to get in. Maybe I'll write one.28 -
I can not function today in my hot office (no AC). I'm just reading rants in JSON format to look like I'm working. I may need a USB Desk Fan to improve my productivity. Anybody have recommendations?8
-
Funny programmer fantasy porn titles.
Add your 2 cents.
I'll start with.
Naive user needs hot reloading for her frontend.
Boss GF wants you to fix her backend.
Go!27 -
The biggest weakness of every programmer is power outage...
Can't do anything, even the windows are powered... So hot right now.4 -
This is a real history..
So i went to my friend’s party.. and he invited this hot girl.. (u know the girl that would never talk to any programmer)..
so she started asking me about programming, maths, software...
and I was like wtf.. is this real? (because u guys know that this is impossible jaja)
Actually, we spent all night talking about it..
for some reason she started hanging out with me and my friend..
now we are dating.. kind of crazy uh?
(she is an engineer btw)4 -
Well this would be the first post of myself in the past two years of dev life.
Hi fellas, I wanted to be a serious pro programmer. Even though I was working in a large scale enterprise product, I often feel like missing some awe(want to settle a job in Google) in my dev life. I managed to grasp and play profoundly in some trending and hot techies like Angular, React, Electron, Laravel, Symfony, Extjs, Spring....I still feel unlucky. :(1 -
Can anyone suggest what should a 16 year old python programmer from India should do. I think ml and deep learning or hot right now so I am learning those. Any suggestions, thanx in advanced 😊4
-
Nodes Reach
I will google my last error message
I cannot tell where this conviction comes from. Whatever birthed it is a mystery to me, and yet the thought clings like a virus, blooming behind my eyes and taking deep root within my mind. It almost feels real enough to spread corruption to the rest of my body, like a true sickness.It will happen soon, within the coming nights of pizza and energy drinks. I will google my last error message, and when my brothers turn on thier computers, my questions will be scattered over stack overflow with one accursed tag
Nodejs.
Even the name twists my blood until burning oil beats through my veins. I feel anger now, hot and heavy, flowing through my heart and filtering into my keyboard like boiling poison.My fingers stretch out. I am strong, born only to code and debug software. I am pure, googling the most obscure of error messages, trained to break down problems and use console.log. I am wrath incarnate, living only to code until finaly my program runs.I am a programmer in the Eternal Crusade to forge humanity's mastership of the code.Yet strength, purity and wrath will not be enough.
I will google my last error message
My Nodejs application won't run.
*Watch the Original !! by Richard Boylan here*
https://youtu.be/1D4jr-0_COg