Really fucking sick of people taking my coffee mugs on the drying rack and taking them back to their desk. It's not yours. It doesn't have our company logo or your company logo. It's obviously not yours so don't fucking touch it.

This is the second coffee mug of mine to go missing in 16 months. You work at a tech company buy your own fucking mug or open your mouth wide and catch your hot bean water you fuck.

So my office manager decided to ban kitchen utensils in the office. Part of the reason was that there was too much stealing. Apparently too many mugs, knives, plates & spoons have gone missing for it to be just through loss.

I tried to reason with this office manager. I asked if we really want to create a culture of mistrust where we ban basic utilities like we’re children.

I appealed to the business logic do we really want freelancers going out to grab a coffee 10 minutes a day over a period of a year.

I tried to appeal to the digital nature of the office can we “source the solution from the office”

The other office have to bring in their own utensils but the other office has a canteen.

Essentially I feel like this was a power issue a decision was made I’m not allowed to question it.

Apparently my “behaviour” has been flagged with the CTO. 🤣🤨

I have to stir my tea with a knife unless I put stuff in my desk.

As a solution I decided to reach out to several green companies that provide disposable cutlery and kitchen where they agreed to send a sample which I put in the kitchen. I have a feeling this will be taken as hostile move in of what is: a solution.

Seriously W T actual F.

Boss: we can't accept your MR request until you fix the problems we highlighted, everything is blocked and the client is getting angry

My brother in Christ, I understand your concerns but I need you to understand: you decided to block a perfectly working and documented PR because you didn't like having "<!-- -->" in a couple of HTML files and menial bullshit like that.
It may not be the most elegant thing ever but don't put on me the responsibility of your blocks or I'll smash your face with the coffee mugs I've used to work until midnight so that you could deliver the product in time after someone else delayed the deadline twice already.
Thanks and get fucked ASAP.

Double coffee time!

A partner of mine have soluble coffee, so I decided to compare it with the office coffee. The advantage of having two mugs :D

Actually I don't need it but I'm so bored :( (I've already finished my code and I'm waiting for bugs or something like that).

I got myself one of these portable thermo-coffee-mugs.
One of the best decisions I've ever made.

Ah, developers, the unsung heroes of caffeine-fueled coding marathons and keyboard clacking symphonies! These mystical beings have a way of turning coffee and pizza into lines of code that somehow make the world go 'round.

Have you ever seen a developer in their natural habitat? They huddle in dimly lit rooms, surrounded by monitors glowing like magic crystals. Their battle cries of "It works on my machine!" echo through the corridors, as they summon the mighty powers of Stack Overflow and Google to conquer bugs and errors.

And let's talk about the coffee addiction – it's like they believe caffeine is the elixir of code immortality. The way they guard their mugs, you'd think it's the Holy Grail. In fact, a developer without coffee is like a computer without RAM – it just doesn't function properly.

But don't let their nerdy exteriors fool you. Deep down, they're dreamers. They dream of a world where every line of code is bug-free and every user is happy. A world where the boss understands what "just one more line of code" really means.

Speaking of bosses, developers have a unique ability to turn simple requests into complex projects. "Can you make a small tweak?" the boss asks innocently. And the developer replies, "Sure, it's just a minor change," while mentally calculating the time it'll take and the potential for scope creep.

Let's not forget their passion for acronyms. TLA (Three-Letter Acronym) is their second language. API, CSS, HTML, PHP, SQL... it's like they're playing a never-ending game of Scrabble with abbreviations.

And documentation? Well, that's their arch-nemesis. It's as if writing clear instructions is harder than debugging quantum mechanics. "The code is self-explanatory," they claim, leaving everyone else scratching their heads.

In the end, developers are a quirky bunch, but we love them for it. Their quirks and peculiarities are what make them the creative, brilliant minds that power our digital world. So here's to developers, the masters of logic and the wizards of the virtual realm!

Lots of electronic music, noise cancelling headphones and around 10 mugs of coffee a day

Eletronic music and mugs of black coffee.
It's my third today.

Deadline approaching...

My JIRA fanatic manager: log whatever you do during the day, even the smallest things are important. and you have all the material needed for next day's standup meet.

me, on a particular tuesday:
had lunch
peed thrice
bitched about an unreasonable bug raised by the testing team
listened to Rihanna's song Diamonds
had four mugs of coffee
, among various other things.

next day.
manager: so, ssup?
me: eh, didn't do much yesterday. was one of those down days I guess.

Guess who was asked to write "didn't do much yesterday" on all the JIRA tickets assigned to him?

let rant: (Bool, Bool, String) -> Void = { (isRant, isDev, contents) in
print(contents)
}

rant(false, true, "

So, a year ago more or less, I set out to teach myself some server-side programming on the side.

Many (MANY) tutorials, Digital Ocean droplets created and destroyed, coffee mugs and FMLs later, I can say 'Hello World' from Node.js - built from source and not running as a sudoer - using express and forever on Ubuntu, behind another Ubuntu server running nginx - also built from source so to add headers-more and naxsi - using all sorts of goodies to enhance security and talking to each other via SSH. Oh, and taking to the world over HTTPS with a grade A on SSL Labs (I know this doesn't mean much to you. Yeah you, rolling your eyes over there. So why don't you just bugger off before even commenting? Haha)

Feels good man.

")