My less than a year old is trying repeated times to make his head go through a window glass, and crying after every attempt.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH HERE KID????????

Why is javascript just so weird??? Did the authors intentionally write it that way, I'm bothered

Me: Did Sherry let you know that I'm leaving today?

Coworker: what!? No!

Me: yeah... I'm leaving.

Coworker: huh, I'm not surprised...

Me: what is that supposed to mean!?

Co: shit man, this job sucks, I'm not surprised. I'll be leaving right behind you.

Me: oh.... Um... April Fools... 😬

Co: God damnit.

Me: don't worry, I won't tell the boss how you really feel.

After sifting through so many headache-inducing tutorials:

FINALLY!!! AN AMERICAN ACCENT!

Wait a minute...

TLDR: Ever wondered what your project's intro/theme song would be?!

Here's mine..
https://youtu.be/SH8wDkqA_50

Share yours if you ever thought about it or some particular song plays in your head while reading this..

Long(er) version + story: project I am currently working on is notorios in our company.. everyone avoids it, parts of code are untouched for 10+ years.. I used to think it was a 'shitty' project, many frameworks, many parts, many coding styles, many bugs... but longer I worked on it, more I came to realisation, it's not the code, it was the coders.. sloppy coders who didn't give a flying f..

Yes, some things are outdated still, and could be rewritten better (hopefully it will start happening soon! Yay!!), some were already rewamped, new things added... but for the time it was going live, it was majestic. I love solving bugs n problems so I must admit it has grown on me.. my little baby/devil..

Anyhu, one day on skype out of the blue I got this pic from my coworker.. made my day, laughed my ass off.. later that day I was debbuging something and youtube started rolling saw theme song (https://youtu.be/9fwWS6Xo1go)...

When I realised what I was listening too, it made perfect sense.. I was relaxed, at peace.. it clicked.. the song, the project, the bug, the code.. it all made chaotic sense..

I want to play a game..

I realised, project wasn't mean, it was just misunderstood and mistreated.. it can be your best friend if you play nice.

I replied to said coworker that I rhink I just found out my project's theme song and pasted the link.. he laughed, I laughed, my project laughed then it killed my test server.. It was a great day!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣

// all true except the project killing server part, that in fact happened on a different occasion

So.. you guys had any moments like this? Any theme songs, intros for your projects?? Or am I the only weirdo who makes associations like this all the time... 🤔🤣😇 ???

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

Yes, I can see an object.....

testers coding...

I hope that's not the devrant duck....XD

sad story

In relationship with "Programming" but looking for girl who code $_<
.
.
how about you ?

It's a merge conflict

PM: By when can you do this?
Me: Monday
PM: Which monday?
Me: Exactly

Finish programming assignment.

Jump right into 10 page paper with auto correct/spell/grammar check turned off (technical paper, office tries to correct issues that aren't issues).

Finish paper, turn checks back on.

Realize ended all sentences with semicolons.

FML.

Get into bed.

Gets all comfy.

About to drift off.

Realizes solution for the problem I have spent all week on.

Now wide awake.

Guess who's not sleeping tonight!

Worst 'advice' from a college recruiter:

"O you want to major in computer science? Well our school is fantastic for women in comp sci because WHEN they find it too difficult they can easily transition to graphic design. How do you feel about graphic design?"

I decided that school was a bad choice.

Graduating this year with my BS in Comp Sci and going for my Masters in Robotics. Screw that guy.

Bf: what you doing?
Me: coding
Bf: do you ever stop working?!
Me: I'm not 'working', I'm doing my own project.
Bf: but you do that at work. Why do you want to keep doing it?
Me: it's fun?

--- a few days later ---

Bf: what you doing?
Me: reading.
Bf: omg you're not coding! What are you reading?
Me: a book about coding
Bf: *faceplam*

Just got this slack from our server admin.

Our programming teacher had a surgery on his left eye and will not be able to do the lessons with us. Guess what the subject of the email he sent us was.

"I can't C#."
He made a pun about his fucking health status, alright then.

1. Buy boxes of orange juice, almost past their expiry date.
2. Put boxes on the hot office windowsill for a few weeks.
3. Cool down juice in fridge.
4. "Hey dear coworker, would you like a refreshing juice box on this hot spring day?"
5. Watch coworker retch and vomit, spitting blue-grayish juice over his desk, crying: "Why would you give me old moldy juice without checking the date?"
6. "Do you remember when you told me you didn't have time for unit tests? THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS, DAVE, THIS IS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENS WHEN YOU DEPLOY UNTESTED CODE.... NOW FINISH YOUR JUICE!"

Asks Cortana to tell a joke, and Cortana opens Bing. Made my day, well played Cortana

HR: How many years you've been developing on Android ?
Me: Two years, with many projects on my own.
HR: So, you're familiar with Android Studio?
Me: No, I've been using "Paint" to code.

My last night:
- Had nothing much to work on.
- Opened a porn site to spend sometime.
- Clicked on some really good video.
- Realized full screen isn't working on the page.
- Fired up JS console, spent the next 30 minutes trying to get the video part full screen. Failed!
- Opened up Google & navigated through stackoverflow looking for the fix. Still couldn't do it.
- Cursed the website for having a bad design.
- Left the site.

Bad UI = No Fuck.

devRant should have a character limit of 1024 instead of 1000...

Well yeah. He is right!

Girl : I like dangerous men.
Me : I didn't run test cases while committing my changes last night.
Girl : my hero!

Me : *wakes up from the dream*

Student - Teacher renaming .c to .exe make the program executable ?

Teacher - Yes

A group of people stand up and walking to the door

Teacher - Where are you all going ?

Students - We are going to drop this class.

So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.

As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.

Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.

The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.

So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.

This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.

😂😂😂😂😂