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So, someone submitted a 'bug' to Mozilla.
As some of you may know, in the next year, the new mass surveillance law in the Netherlands is going into effect.
Another fun fact is that the dutch security agencies/government have their own CA (Certificate Authority) for SSL/TLS certificates.
The new law says that the AIVD (dutch NSA/GCHQ equivilant) is allowed to hack into systems through obtained certificates and also that they're allowed to INTERCEPT TRAFFIC THROUGH OBTAINED PRIVATE SSL/TLS KEYS.
So someone actually had the fucking balls to submit a fucking issue to Mozilla saying that the Dutch State certs shouldn't be accepted anymore when the new mass surveillance law gets into place.
This person deservers a fucking medal if you ask me.68 -
Windows, you fucking idiot! You scheduled that damn update and now you have the balls to ask me what happened?!
7 -
Guy: I don't understand how people could actually learn or work as programmers.. It's so boring.
Me: have you ever programmed before?
Guy: yes
Me: what language?
Guy: matlab
I punched him in the face and kicked him in the balls. Actually just I thought about it. Maybe 3 hours later.17 -
- Free app:
"5 stars - OMG this app is awesome!!!"
- Add new feature with In-app purchase:
"1 star - App sucks balls. Why we must pay? Make free and I rate 5 stars"
I call them The Rating Terrorists.8 -
*me seeing rant with stress ball in the pic*
Me to gf:"look babe!!! Streeeeesssssballllllll :D I want one"
*gf points at shirt*:"these are your stress balls ;)"5 -
PHP sucks balls,
It takes forever to do anything, it is so messy it feels like walking through a massive pile of shit!
Ok good I have your attention and that ++ 😇
But no this is not that kind of rant, quite the opposite.
In 70 lines of php shit as some people would call it, I am currently scrapping GitHub pages with ebook collections and with some minor regex pulling PDFs out and saving them to file.
29 -
This fucker has some balls (I'm being completely ignorant), the day his website goes live guess who is going to flood it with Dados attacks.
27 -
Everyone has their stress balls, cubes, pillows, spinners etc.
Only what I have is my stress table
(╯°□°）╯︵ ┻━┻4 -
My first experience with Swift ended in me infecting myself with a virus (kinda). I wanted to create a macOS app that would listen for a global key event, catch it and then type a word.
During development I set it up to listen for ANY key event and to type "BALLS". So what happened? I compiled the code, everything looked good, I started the app and pressed a key which emitted a key event. The event was caught by my app and it typed "BALLS", just as expected. However, the typing of the word caused a NEW key event to be emitted, which the app also caught. The infinite loop was a fact. FUCK!
I tried closing down XCode but all I could see was "BALLS BALLS BALLS" everywhere. I tried everything I knew but it just kept typing "BALLS". I had to hold down my power button to make it stop.
I finally finished the app (which I named "The Balls App", I kept the word "BALLS"). I solved this issue by only listening for KeyUp and when emitting the "BALLS" word I just used KeyDown.7 -
tl;dr: spent 12 hours creating an api for a job interview challenge. Got rejected after 4 weeks with no real feedback, and all I can do is rant!
So I was in the interview process with a company that was a great fit for my background.
Got through a couple of phone screens, and was given a coding challenge consisting of writing a web API with a couple of endpoints and a filter function.
I'm like, ok no problem, I happen to have created apis for some mobile apps in the past, and I pick Django rest framework to get the job done.
Implemented it on a Sunday, wrote a medium size Readme.md and some unit tests and submit. Took almost four weeks and a partial resubmission to get a rejection with no specific feedback.
Now I'm shamelessly butthurt and I have nothing else to do but rant! Worse part is I looked back at the code and in my opinion is solid AF, so I put it on my public GitHub cause fuck it!6 -
You is not gonna beliebers what just happened lol
So a couple weeks ago I earned a stress ball (300+ ++'s) I sent an email about it but never got a reply, so I decided to just forget about it. But then I just ranted (lastnight) about how its so hard to get a stressball. So I basically just said "fuck it i'll buy one". Then some dude comes along and is like "omg not until he shows us the bought one" so I'm like CHALLENGE ACCEPTED and buy one...
Then I get an email confirmation from devrant store confirming my order for the bought stressball. And I notive that my spam folder has unread messages in it. i look inside the spam folder and what do I see?...
I see dfox replying to my free stressball request weeks ago lol. So yay, now I gets the 3 balls (or two - depending) lol omg, so many balls.
15 -
Hahaha, the DPC (Data Protection Commission) has asked Facebook in a letter to stop transferring Europeans' data to the US.
Since the Privacy Shield agreement is off the table, it's illegal regardless to send any kind of PII data from the EU to the US.
How about we stop nicely asking and start giving fines in the form of millions every time PII data is transferred from the EU to the US by Facebook?
If the EU could grow some balls, that'd be fucking great.17 -
OPPO sure has the BALLS to fucking install ads on MY FUCKING PHONE, first they force installed “Hot Apps” and “Hot Games” and I can’t remove it. I was like “Yeah sure whatever”. Then they installed sticker ads on THE BUILT IN KEYBOARD. “Ok”. This fucking shit actually installed ads on my fucking notification panel, and pop up a warning every once in two days asking me to”🔥 Update your software to latest version 💢” WITH THAT KIND OF TEXT AND EMOTICONS
FUCK YOU OPPO23 -
Programming on the privacy website together with 404response, this is awesome!
It's great to have someone who's good at frontend while you suck balls at it so that I can fully focus on the backend :D. (ewpratten if you still want to you can join 404response, he can explain you everything he's doing and how you can help)28 -
got a mail 10 minutes after I finished a 10h shift that my contract won't be refreshed after 4 years ripping my ass off for this fucked up organization. apparently not because of lack of competence but of personal reasons. that's what you get for not being a sheep and having an opinion. my (ex)boss didn't even have the balls to say it to my face.
fuck them! I don't need people like that around me - neither in my spare time nor at work - and I wish them all the worst.
happy holidays motherfuckers!5 -
1.
Interviewer
how many soccer balls can fit in your house
Me i dont play soccer
---------
2.
Interviewer
.....
Me
........
Interviewer
...(looks at me)
Me
.......
Interviewer
(staring me)
Me
Hi!
Interviewer
Oh yeah. So....14 -
A few years ago, I used alert('Well that sux balls'); to debug a CMS custom module. Finished the project and went with the sales manager to demo the app to the clients board of directors. Trust a sales manager to find a bug during a live demo that QA didn't find...
All my temporary error messages are now boring and functional. -
Story from my friend who I drank a beer with yesterday:
His manager has balls bigger than elefants.. Hiring a group of anarcho kinda pentest / hacker fucks from a freelance portal from Serbia... Who found quite some shit in their internal systems.
You should think twice about paying them late and especially paying them only half the amount. Even though "they wouldn't sue them anyway".
Sure, they won't.
But take a smart guess what they did.
Fuckin idiot manager.6 -
Cursing under your breath at some crufty, amateurish, slow-as-balls code... Checking the repo history to see what sad, soulless sack committed this abomination.. And its me.1
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If you are tall and experience back problems like me, give one of those balls that you sit on a try. It costs 15 euros and it solved everything for me. If it doesnt... well... throw it of your balcony and let me know how high it bounced4
-
My psychiatrist has recently taken me off paroxotine which i was taking for anxiety. As a result, I'm wide awake unable to sleep cos my head is running at a million miles an hour. You know what I keep thinking?
1.) Sweet hairy balls of Mary Theresa I'm getting married in 3 months.
2.) Installing Arch sounds like fun. I wonder if I can do Unity3D and C# dev on it.
3.) @Gitpush, @Alice, @Linuxxx, @Bluenutterfly, @ThatDude, @AlexDeLarge Love your rants, keep up the good work!14 -
I had a few interesting ones for my current job. Most of you should of hear it by now, but still a decent brainteasers.
You have 9 pool balls, 1 of which is slightly heavier than the other. You have a balance scale, find the heavier ball. You can only use the scale twice.
Devs, let's not spoil this by actually posting the answer.16 -
The balls some managers must have to think that this is going to be an acceptable price.
I also find it hilarious that a $2 adblocker can fuck this in the ass.
18 -
100% focused, balls-deep in the zone, not sure I could have recalled my own name if you'd asked me...
Suddenly out of nowhere, someone's asking me about a job I worked on over a week ago. I'm mostly answering in just a few syllables, struggling to surface from 20 layers of Call Stack.
This goes on for a full 5 minutes before they say, "sorry were you busy?"
No, I was just about to beat Solitaire.
Of course I was fucking busy jesus fucking christ, did you not see all that code and shit on my fucking screen when you suddenly and urgently had to disturb me?10 -
Holy shit balls it works (so far)
-
So I’ve been working on a project... well feature for the past year (yes 12 whole fucking months - anti agile I know)
And today I got to merge that bitch of a pull request into the current working branch and deploy it to UAT - no conflicts 😵I think I need to put the lottery on tonight!
And some how, by some stupid lucky roll of the dice it just works.
I have never felt so afraid and delighted in my life!6 -
I love group projects.
There is no greater feeling than, after you set up the repository with the first code files, your team mate changes the indentation and commenting style in every file to his own style without even discussing the general coding style rules in the group first.
Fucking awesome start.
Go eat a sack of unwashed hobo balls you filthy cunt.3 -
So my classmate just decided to write "printf("Suck my balls I dont remember how to do this);" in a programming exam and forgot to delete it before handing it in.
Well... after saying "sorry" like a hundred times the teacher accepted his apology.8 -
"That's a frontend problem."
Really? And you call yourself the engineering lead? Oh right, "frontend is not engineering", was that it? Ok, thanks a lot for the help, you can continue licking your balls now. I don't know why I still bother trying to ask you for advice.5 -
NYC meetup reminder! If you're in NYC, don't forget about the meetup tonight! It will be a great opportunity to meet fellow devRant users and he founders. We also have a few squishy balls to give out :)
We're meeting at Stout NYC (midtown). All the details here: https://www.devrant.io/meetup
You can email me at david@devrant.io with any questions.
Looking forward to seeing some devRanters there!
6 -
A teacher of mine once asked me if i could take a look at his external HDD because all the data was suddenly gone. Important holiday pictures and stuff...
Turned out he accidentally created a Windows 7 "library" based on the root directory of the drive. Next logical step to get rid of it: delete the whole content because "i don't need the data twice".
Explained the concept of directory links and restored the files...
His wife later asked him about the reason for the data loss. He didn't have the balls to tell her that he deleted them himself even though he knew it at that point =D -
So I'm looking to buy a drone for my internship company to find people during floods. And damn these companies suck balls.
Closed source.
You want to use API for onboard image processing?
Buy a €3500 drone
Add €1100 processor stuff
Add €850 camera
ugh.16 -
Forget stress balls!
Relieve your stress with this giant enter button!
Punch it like you mean it.
Tell your boss off with every punch of the enter button!
Smash those bugs with the might of Zues!
Cause a lotta damage!
https://amazon.com/Hongxin-Novelty-...
10 -
FRIENDLY REMINDER: Fucking save your goddamn work. Thanks.
- Your friendly neighborhood dumbass who just lost 14 hours of his life because his computer crashed.
P.S. Normally not a problem when working on code because I'm forced to save and commit with Git. Unfortunately I was balls deep in Adobe motherfucking illustrator working on wireframes, and didn't have doc recovery turned on.6 -
Just tech screened a kid for a senior Network automation role, in a specific niche.
He's never automated anything before. Didn't know networking basics, didn't know about the niche...
This guy hasn't heard of unit testing or UDP... good luck out there kid. You've got balls anyway.12 -
I fucking hate Angular. I don't know man I've been using NoScript since my balls dropped and I feel like JavaScript is fucking useless (I like Typescript syntactically though).
What drives me nuts is all the frameworks: Think of a word, add .js, search it up... it's theeeeere.
I know I'm not the only one who fucking hate JS, and I don't think there are many people who genuinely love it. Sorry I just wanted to rant and it's 5 a.m.9 -
!Rant: The collection is complete! Stress balls and stickers all the way here in Trinidad and Tobago. Thanks @dfox and co.
2 -
I think every programmer goes through this time every day....
#Don't wait for inspiration, become it. #balls
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Man im so burnt out i cant function properly...ive been balls deep in 5 assignments all due next week for what feels like an eternity
Stress killed my immune system...cant sleep...sick af
Kill me pls5 -
Coworker: I've got an error, can't figure it out...
Me: Send error
Coworker: NullPointerException
Me: fml
Sr. my balls.1 -
A typo today has rendered me the joke of the office... 😂
Almond's PR: "Added missing unit testes to classes Foo and Bar"
----
Bob: "LGTM. Bet that took some balls."
Craig: "LGTM. Missing unit testes drive me nuts."
Ian: "LGTM. Write your testes with your code guys, a bit bollocks to have to add them afterwards." -
If Internet Explorer has the balls to ask if you want it to be your default browser... then you should be able to ask out that girl.1
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The amount of elitism you see inside of the dev community is the reason why I consider changing careers.
No, It don't hurt my feelings. I just don't want to surround myself from sexually frustrated loosers that think that getting cool points on the internet over hating and shitting over other's likes and dislikes means something.
It sucks balls and I smell the areas to be of dried cum and Cheetos.
Fuck man, being born ugly, anti-charismatic and weird must suck big balls37 -
Volunteered at a hospital and made some kind of intranet for other volunteers because they wanted to use a facebook group for internal communication which I found stupid.
Made a reactjs/slimphp app and learned a variety of things while coding, unfortunately it had to support internet explorer which sucks balls.
Quit after a year because of school and a paid job, someone else is maintaining it now :)1 -
Well, devRant has turned me from a bigot arse into quite the humble and decent person, and on top of that, introduced me to some new series (well more so the users than the platform, but you know what I mean).
Binge watched Silicon Valley (season one, I just started) and learnt about dick to floor ratio.
Prior to that binge watched Mr Robot. Cannot remember who suggested that, so I cannot attribute the appropriate gratitude to the appropriate person here.
Add to that that I no longer claim one language to be holy amongst others. Yeah. I was that dick before, we all have a bad side. I'm just admitting it.
I sat down and started utilising other languages, and even found quite a few that did what I wanted more efficiently. Plus I have gotten to meet some sharp people and broaden my own mind.
Fuck I hate my job, but I see a fucking brilliant future for myself thanks to coding and the open mind that I have attained. I attribute this to devRant (perhaps it was lying dormant, but you guys awoke it.).
Enough chitty chat, I'm off to sleep and then code my balls off.
2 -
THis one goes out to the fucktards that decide to fucking change things on api systems to meet new business requirements and fail to fucking scope out the change requirements of dependent systems that YOU are FUCKING UPDATING via THIS FUCKINg API!
You fucking morons!
At least have the fucking decency or balls to walk 10 fucking metres from your stupid ass chair or send a fucking email about the changes rather then me finding out you fucktards change things through an end customer who want to know where there order is!!! FUCK!1 -
For the past two years, I worked my balls off to deliver a project that eventually went live months ago.
But boss announced that no bonus is going to be paid because project got delayed.
Its not even my fault that project got delayed because customer cannot confirm requirements and keep changing.
All of my assigned tasks were also met on time, if not earlier.7 -
Manager calling me at 9PM on a Saturday.
Fucking no-brained, zero balls cunt.
I didn't pick, of course. I dont take calls on the weekend.
I text a colleague to warn him, turns out he's already recieved a call from the cunt.
Does weekend not mean anything to you managerial mother fuckers?6 -
Me: eh probably shouldn’t push to prod on Friday, maybe not even before the first...
Co worker: no balls
Me:
-
800 line file.
Could be 300 lines but despite having version control, the devs didn't have the balls to remove any of the code. Just commented it out or appended _old to the function names.
"It's easier to undo than version control"
Sure, but how much time are you spending wading through the waist-high swamp of shitty, useless code?6 -
Ok... So iPhone X cames with 3gb ram and 2.7 mAh battery....
Fuck the new Xiami that costs 1/4 comes with 4gb ram and a 4mAh battery...6 -
Anyone else hate it when your client knows jack shit and asks you for something that they think is easy but for you is a weeks worth of shit? Yeah it sucks balls6
-
I gotta share my favorite ever SO question that I flagged... here's a screenshot. Props to the person for having the balls to post it.
-
Stress balls are awesome.
Never thought they are this effective.
Like just throwing it and kicking it around in my apartment makes me feel a bit better.8 -
Our entire test environment just fucking died today, redeploys don't work, connections time out, databases suck balls
I had no other choice but to start drinking alcohol at 2 pm6 -
Have you seen the new Amazon tracking system?
It shows where the package is if it is 10 stop away. (I think 10 stops)
Now I don't have to stay at the door and freeze my balls.
Now I can see from my screen. :D
6 -
Went to the mall with mom the other day,
Mum: so what do you want?
Me: (pointing to stress ball) that ball
Mum: stop embarrassing us, are you a kid?
Me: they are stress balls
Mum: take a pill or exercise if you stressed
My mind: I told you not to go the mall with your, fucking kid....
devrant a ni**a really need them stress balls9 -
So I spent the last two days wondering WTF I did wrong, because my Laptop (Debian STABLE mind you...) would only boot in read-only mode and therefore only TTY (which btw sucks donkey-balls on a 4k screen (see image for visualization)) but on the earlier Kernel 4.9.0-7, everything was dandy.
So apparently laptop-mode-tools managed to fuck shit up in a way yet unknown, but as soon as I yeeted that bitch off my harddrive, everything was working flawlessly again...
6 -
WATCH WHAT YOU CLONE!!!
I spent 2 days of stack overflow, assistance, mental counselling, 5 stages of depression ... just to realize I had cloned half the project because of a stupid, useless, fucked up branch that had the balls to call itself MASTER!!!!! arrggg!!!!!7 -
How the actual fuck are we expected to know this many languages / frameworks / libraries for a web dev interview? This shit is RIDICULOUS. No one can honestly say they're half proficient at any of this stuff if they have to know ALL of it. Is this the only way to get a job these days? This sucks balls!7
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So my MacBook pro (retina 2013) is almost 5 years old. I like os x so was shopping for a new one, 3 grand for very marginal performance boost and a touchable bar.... Hmm. I guess my current can survive until apple makes a laptop with some balls.4
-
Konfuzius says:
When a mosquito land on your balls you will learn to solve problems without violence.2 -
Linux:
The operating sistem that wants you to be a pro right from start.
But stuck because grub doesn't install.
Following tutorials on the cellphone but still stuck. At boot I'll get stuck in initramfs...
I really want mint... But I'm not gonna reinstall windows just to get other distro.
Why da FUCK?
Even formated C to ext4 to help
30 -
I'm just starting on the dev world. I only taken Java and C++.(Both professors knew their coding however, sucked balls at teaching it). now i am here looking at this post scared as shit for my future.. damn what did i get myself into?9
-
Go find the most cancerous Instagram page in the "coding community" and multiply it by 10.
Bonus points if they:
>>post vague and utter bullshit motivational captions with completely irrelevant pictures.
>>Have the word "entrepreneur" in their bio
>>Have emojis in their bio
>>Mention coffee in their bio
Oh and you know the shitty clean versions of songs that filter out anything that is slightly offensive words? (I recently heard a song that filtered the words "balls" and "vagina." Apparently anatomy is offensive to the snowflakes now.) That's gonna happen to our code. We're gonna have shitty censored versions that remove all "offensive" words.5 -
MOTHERFUCKING PROGUARD with all your fucking flags
-keep my ass
-dontwarn my balls
-dontshrink my asshole
FUCK YOU for all the hours I have to spend figuring out how to make you happy whenever I update guava or any other damn library GO FUCK YOURSELF
:)1 -
Is it just me, or is the rants longing for stickers and balls (sounds vaguely euphemistic) becoming just a bit too common?
I love some good stickers as much as the next guy, but wouldn't it be more fun to have them for something more, well, rant-y?
But by all means, keep ranting about what you think about, I love all of it.3 -
My boss is such a fucking pussy when it comes to stand up for anything that, even being a calm person, sometimes I just want to bitch slap that mother fucker, get him by the neck and say:
GROW SOME FUCKING BALLS FOR FUCKS SAKES!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!2 -
For the past 45 days I've been the sole developer of a standalone Java application and doing some ops only, now I'm getting back to the spaghetti php bullshit they call code and for the past 5 minutes I could fell the depression striking back...
-
That moment when you make a suggestion. But client ignores you, and you end up building what they want.
Then an asshole comes along and presents the thing that you suggested, and has the balls to say they made it. When you can clearly see that it's the prototype you made!
At least it's Friday...1 -
I have this guy at work who does pranks constantly, mostly towards his supervisor. Some of his more memorable ones:
- Placed a ballon at the wall behind the door + stuck a needle to the door in his supervisors office
- Hid a small speaker playing "happy birthday" nonstop inside the roof of his office
- Placed a box full of golf balls in our site manager's mail shelf, carved a hole in the box and waited.
- Threw an orange (yes, actual orange) at his supervisor, and hit him in the throat. Entertaining for everyone but them.1 -
Another Developer: bro, shit hit the fan. The x web service is throwing some error. Can you take a look please. I want to go home. I'm tired.
Me: Yea sure bro no worries.
Another Developer: I go pee, after that I will delegate the ticket to you.
(Another Developer goes to the washroom)
Me: (04:59 PM) Oh time to pack-up and get the fuck out of here
Me: (05:08 PM) Receive a message on Viber from Another Developer. It reads "Fuck you, I'm going to rub my balls on your desk"3 -
@dfox You lately changed the needed +1's for stickers and stress balls. But you forgot to update the website ^_^ Clicking on Free Swap still refers to 15 and 150.7
-
A previous colleague of mine had plenty of years in the industry as a Java developer, but somehow still had absolutely no idea what he was doing. We used to send screenshots of his PRs to each other just to give our eye balls something to roll about - I have never seen anything like it, anywhere.
After multiple warnings of never delivering a single thing he eventually "voluntarily" left the company. He now works at a school teaching programming to students. The circle is complete. -
My Final Year Project used robotics, speech recognition, body mapping and it was possibly the coolest thing I've ever done. I did it to be balls out ambitious as I wanted an impressive project to help me get a job...4
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TL;DR Know your field of knowledge and accept help from outside.
Alright I work devops and I swear to fucking god the next dev that tells me that their networking idea/solution is better or outright ignores me then proceeds to ask for help is going to get a firm punch in the balls. If you're a lady you're going off the roof because you don't have balls. I am open to ideas but when they're involving a 10/100 mini switch or python routing I'm going to kick their ass.3 -
what grinds my balls ? DATA INCONSISTENCIES!!! what the fuck did people think proliferating bad data futher into the abyss of existence!!!3
-
Fuck you Mozilla. You have killed the major unique selling point of FF, that being the add-ons, and replaced them with web extensions that will never even come close. Not enough with that, now you're killing the add-on servers to also kick FF forks into their balls. You stupid bunch of wankers have a history of pretending to know better what your users want, and your plummeting market share shows how much you suck at it.
https://blog.mozilla.org/addons/...19 -
Weirdest moment ever in a CS class:
Course on probabilistic theory. Excercise mentions something about balls in 4 hats. Prof starts to draw them on a chalkboard in a shape of upside down male genitalia. Before finishing the second one starts to giggle.
Dude is a 70 yo grandpa. -
i don't know about you...but each time Devrant takes longer to load i see a weenie with 2 small balls
4 -
>>"Oh we're more like family here and we like to have people join our family style instead of setting strict rules and punishing people " == "You'll stay late everyday and you won't be paid any extra hours and you'll be ass fucked with impossible deadlines unless you could fondle the managers balls"
True
>> -
Learning to code using xamarin, I'm fucked off with kids iOS/android apps that are free and have too many ads or aren't free but suck balls. Apologies if my language offends.5
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One of the most rude things you can do to an open source project is immediately question why they use a specific (language, toolkit, gui, build system, etc) and suggest they use something entirely different simply because it is "better".
Like I can't even compare it to something a normal non-technical person would understand.
It's not even a preference thing like what car you drive or iPhone vs Android.
I've literally donated hundreds and hundreds of hours of my time and you get the benefit of using the software free of charge and then you have the balls to question what I've given you.7 -
really fucking hate those PM types who will hear a smart sounding term or buzzword used by a developer, and then proceed to overuse it (mostly incorrectly) in every fucking conversation as if it's le mot du jour.
or better yet, when the fucking parrot proceeds to drive a meeting with PO's by regurgitating verbatim your explanation you gave to him 2 hours before as if he knows that the fuck he's talking about. oh but when someone asks a question for clarification - "hey dev, you wanna take this one?"
hey PM, you wanna lick my balls?3 -
Not sure if pricing error, or Holy fuck balls.
But Assassins Creed Origins - Gold Edition is $20 right now🤯
https://fanatical.com/en/game/...
6 -
2 AM rolls around, I'm still balls deep in this stupid template, and mind you, now everything I have written is starting to sound ridiculous and stupid.
I think I'm gonna be a laughing stock once this gets published. (I'd fully believe that myself if only I did not believe wholeheartedly in my supervisor)7 -
"Company Policy requires you to complete data awareness course"
Open up link, press next 30 times and exit before the quiz marks the action as Complete,
My Balls do like HR
1 -
I read an article that says stress balls are far less effective for stress relief than punching your PM on the face.
They should have included a warning... -
!Rant But this is hilarious 😂
Appraisal interview of Gayle:
Gayle:- Sir, I scored 211 Runs in 118 Balls. I made the team win the crucial match. I should get “A” rating.
Management:- You hit 17 Sixes and 23 Fours. Though, that is good but that is not something new you have done. That is why we hired you. As this is not something new, I will mark it as “Innovation Lacking”.
Gayle:- But sir, I played according to the situation. I took 21 singles as well.
Management:- Exactly, your performance is not consistent. You played 15 Dot Balls as well. This means, you failed to optimize the resources.
Gayle:- But…
Management:- Also, I would like to mention that you are not a team player. The whole team scored 112 and you all alone made 211.
Gayle:- What??
Management:- Yes. So, overall, you are getting a “C” rating for the year. Improve Consistency, Innovation, Utilization and Team Work...1 -
I came to work early. Found myself a really good chair. In the "Staffs" channel on Slack told everyone that I rubbed my balls all over the chair. I guess this should stop someone from stealing this chair.
Related Rant:
https://devrant.com/rants/1637740/...6 -
Sometimes we are ping pong balls being smashed from one side to the other. This is me, I'm currently studying a technology. Oops! Change of assignments! Plz study new tech! Ok thanks for the constant context-switching.6
-
ACPI YOU FUCKING CUNT
STOP IMPOSING SUCH SHITTY STANDARDS THAT REQUIRE AN OPERATING SYSTEM TO SCAN THE RAM FOR SOMETHING AND TO INTERPRET BYTECODE BY ITSELF!
JUST BECAUSE YOU WERE MADE TO UNIFY THINGS DOESNT MEAN THAT YOU SHOULDNT BE REDESIGNED FROM SCRATCH YOU FUCKING MOTHERFUCKING BALLS BUSTING SHITTY STANDARD ^1
ALSO, PLEASE FFS DOCUMENT YOUR SHIT-KNÖDEL WELL, PLEASE. WOULD MAKE IT AT LEAST BEAREABLE
^1 I realized I didnt use enough swear words1 -
I was doing an asset management project for the CTO of a small company in ASP.NET and the CTO decided to stick his crap smeared fingers into the development because he 'developed' a completely different AS/400 system which everyone complained was like having a dog smear it's balls all over your screen while taking a dump on your keyboard. Fucking idiot would have given me 2 weeks extra work with all the shit he broke if it wasn't for version control.
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I'm seeing all these people with rants over 100 for the week and i'm thinking to myself: you lucky sobs you get squishy balls... 🙃3
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FUCK YOUUU GERRIT, YOU CAN SUCK MY BALLS, YOU'RE JUST A BOOTLEGGED VERSION OF GITHUB BECAUSE GOOGLED WANTED TO MAKE SOME $$, SING ALONG ERRBODY1
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For fuck's sake, why do so many engineering professors use Comic Sans in their power points and documents?!? These are incredibly intelligent people, so how can they be so ignorant? We all have to suffer as a result... Honestly, has nobody ever had the balls to tell them to change their fucking font because it is ugly as sin, hurts the eyes, and is super childish? Fuck all those people who insist on using Comic Sans. You all deserve to spend time burning in hell for your cruelty. Better yet - sir who invented Comic Sans: go fuck yourself and burn in hell.9
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!dev but it is a fucking rant.
Happy new years fucking 2018 already turning off great with me freezing my fucking balls off cause my heater aint fucking working. Top it off my Damn Hotter Than Hell Water Heater froze and i have no hotwater. Fuck somebody find me that son of a bitch 2018 where i can take it out im the woods and shoot that dickheaded cocksucking asshole.1 -
> be me
> straight dude, 7/10
> discover devRant
> there’s that one girl with damn sexy thighs
> decide to ask her out
> she gives me her telegram
> she’s taken but has free relationship
> feelsgoodman.png
> she agrees to go on a date
> met her
> we have a little chitchat about CSS and decide to find a room
> gonna go balls deep bro
> pull her leggings down
> …
12 -
My colleagues work on our project files with unstable software for hours on end without saving their progress. Honestly, the balls on them. One of them just closed their Laptops to put it in energy saving mode without saving 2h of progress. Why are you doing this to me?3
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Wait a minute.....@dfox was giving away squishy devrant balls?! ugh I need to rant more. rant rant rant.6
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Spending all day sitting in a chair takes its toll on my back. Lumbar and intra-scapular areas are ssssoooooo sore that I can't even stretch them out properly any more (I'm quite a flexible person).
Thanks to my closest shopping centre for this double foam-ball. It's the best investment I've made in years and it only cost me 4€.
Whenever I lay and roll on it slowly I usually drift into sleep out of pleasure.
It's not an ad or anything, just a recommendation to my fellow IT guys and gals suffering back pains from sitting all day long.
7 -
There's a russian guy that's absolutely cracking my balls. He proposed to translate one of my apps and I said ok. When he sent me the translated version, I published it and everything was ok. Now he sent me another file saying that this one is the real final one. I said him I will change it in the next release, but now he started send me emails and he downvoted the app. FUCK OFF. I AM THE DEVELOPER, I DO WHAT I WANT. The guy is also very rude.
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Balls deep into some convolutional network because the results "could be better", at 8 PM while my food is getting cold.
... Somebody murder my inner bitch, thanks and appreciated. She's been an absolute pain lately.
P.S. does anybody get annoyed with themselves so often or should I book a psychotherapist?5 -
Just went through EOY reviews. I found out in my own review that someone made the questionable decision to give me a raise and a promotion I'm not sure if I deserve... however why I'm really stoked is because its the first time I've gotten to promote one of my juniors! Now *that* is a really rewarding feeling because the dude certainly went balls deep and earned it, and I have the power to validate that.4
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IBM Websphere Application Server... the fact that that needs to be install for other middleware to run makes me irrate my balls with a grinder...
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I absolutely fuckin hate sysprep!!!
Fuckin mother fuckin shit cock balls saggy tits wrinkled ass cunt3 -
I went to some hot springs.
One of the tubs read "Medicinal water".
I went in.
Eventually my balls started to burn.
Got out and showered until the sensation went away.
Medicinal water, never again.5 -
I'm diving back into c++ for a nice opportunity (if that happens) but Jeez I straight up suck balls with exercises... It's depressing, like I can't even solve a very simple problem, I can code from memory pretty much all I learned so far, but when I comes to applying it to a real problem, I become super dumb and don't know what I'm doing anymore...
I've set myself a goal tho, I'll keep doing minimum 5 exercises / days and I have to finish atleast 3 without looking at the solution to understand
I hope this will make me a little bit more interview ready if that day ever comes..4 -
!dev
I'm stuck in another country because of coronavirus, living in my mother in law's house, which is a church.
this church has two levels. while we are in the higher level, the lower level is being rented to some women that I hadn't seen since I've been here.
there is a library at the lower level next to their rooms and I'm using it to work because I can't focus with all the chatter in the upper level.
second day of work and 2 hours into coding, I get my balls held onto my legs. Trust me, I had just taken a proper shower, and I don't sweat a lot, it's just my balls being balls.
Naturally I try to separate said balls from my legs with my balls. Guess who the fuck I see passing through. One of these women.
Jesus fucking christ. What a good first fucking impression. Me with my hand in my fucking crotch.2 -
You know that experience when you update a modern desktop app that uses a zillion abstraction layers and the first time you do anything it freezes for a little bit while the heavily deferred metaprogramming and asset transformations are executed and cached?
I always imagine polystyrene balls flying all over the place.1 -
Oh the joy of enterprise software development in a legacy system. I just wanted to add a new checkbox with a small feature and now I'm balls deep in age old half decent documentation and just have to pray it works. Implementation time: about 2 days or so1
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I really wanna dive into low level stuff (kernel modules and shit) but I'm genuinely scared of this stuff, very very steep learning curve. I'm pretty sure I'll just spend 4 hours cluelessly trying to make something work. One day I'll find the balls to learn it tho.4
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Trying to implement a dynamic data masking solution for our databases, to filter out sensitive data.
This seems like a problem which should've been solved decades ago. But it isn't. All DDMs, proxies, seeders, maskers... they all suck balls.
Which makes me wonder, how many devs walk around with MacBooks with half a million credit card numbers on them... -
FUCK UPS. Fucking dickheads killed our XML api a month ahead of schedule, and now I'm having to quickly implement stuff for their new api, and their docs are fucking dogshit. Seriously, the united parcel service can burn to death in a god damn fire.1
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How do you lower the level of stress, without rubber duckies, stess balls and other material stuff?)8
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Oh my damn god,
I just found the remote-server plugin for vsCode and holy fuck balls, it's the one thing I've wanted from vsCode since ever.
When you dev in VMs and are forever working with remote code using SFTP and git on a remote servers, it's a pain in the ass.
But this, god damn this solves all of that, and with connection specific plugins, I think I just came.7 -
Don't you just love it when a client turns around at this time of year and tells you that there is a new project and it's due by the middle of January!
And then they tell you the specs... Wait... What? How? Ummm... So you want a test app that is basically a fully working product that would take months to build ready in 15-20 days.
I'd rather drag my balls along sandpaper and dip them in vinegar...2 -
Dividing currency values across new invoices results in ball aching rounding issues.
Finally solved it and there's no one around to high five.3 -
Spotify app is so full of shit. Everything is so slow, downloaded songs still load slow if there is no internet connection, the ui is atrocious. It's so bad I found myself unconsciously switching to using youtube more and more despite it requiring me to keep the screen alive.17
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The customer wanted me to create a password for their database. I made it the name of the software and appended b4lls.
Whenever I tell him what the password is I spell out the software with the b at the end, say "the number four", then lls. He has never repeated "oh, softwareballs", I am not sure he has noticed.1 -
Really? Throwing bouncy balls to your buddies in the next row of cubes again? Self, I am disappoint.6
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I hear Devs of all ages blaming everything on imposter syndrome. Everyone is scared and will get back stabbed by our rivals now and then. We cant build cool things if we don't suck it up and go balls out.2
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I interviewed a graphic designer/artist for a small job and that guy straight up asked me how much usd would I pay him? I said I can only pay you 150 exposure max.
Balls on these guys. smh.3 -
everyone glorifies ethereum and its smart contracts, but the actual build tools and overall development environment around it sucks balls.
when testing a contract locally with truffle develop and metamask, you have to reinstall metamask after every transaction because it gets out of sync with your local chain... people are seriously okay with working with this shit?3 -
Earning your place in the CAB meetings with all the senior engineers feels like your balls are always on the table and them with baseball bats.
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I was in a meeting yesterday where a junior dev was pitching an idea for a mobile game. He starts explaining the rules of the game. Here's what he said "Each Players starts off with 5 BALLS 🏀 and when 1 players ball is hit said player loses 1 BALL…" His presentation was excessively laced with mentions of BALLS.
PS: Never pitch a BALLS idea unless you've got BALLS.5 -
Do you know that app where you catch monsters by throwing balls at them?
It's called tinder I think6 -
I don't get publicity hungry personalities on Medium. Their usual headlines :
"Why we left `${ insert framework}`. There's nothing wrong with it though."
Either have the balls to say you didn't do your homework when you started, or hold your peace.
Don't screw the hardworking folks whose code you depended on before bailing out. -
Wrote a detailed spec, costed and agreed. Meanwhile client and designer agree upon half baked designs that only vaguely resemble the spec. Don't worry though, I have balls. I'm not a yes man. Will put them both straight (again) on how the fuck we do things if it involves me, incompetent twats. Will soon be calling the shots again. Ha ha, it's either that or I fucking walk.
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It's hotter than a donkey's balls in my house right now and I'm finding myself absolutely cranky at everything as a result. Time for some wine and bad Netflix, any suggestions?7
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New job had me working on a Mac.. great! Let's give this a shot and see what the fuss is about.
One year later and I can now knowledgeably say that macOS is balls slow, the worst Unix I've used day to day, Debian/Ubuntu 4 lyf.1 -
To the person who added NULLIF function to MSSQL I say I hope rabid ferrets bite your balls off.
That is all.3 -
I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.
Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.
The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.
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pandas can suck my balls.
N
I
H
I'd rather roll my own.
edit: but also xgboost can suck my balls.
Treating every OBVIOUSLY continuous-valued entry as a 'category'.
All searches for this problem turn up tutorials and documentation on how to CONVERT continuous and numeric values into classes or categories.
Not a single fucking document addresses the problem of when pandas or xgboost refuses to treat numeric inputs as numerics and insists on pushing an error that your data is categorical when every fucking inspection shows the type as numeric.7 -
Created an affiliate tracker / split test tracker / campaign tracker for my Laravel project in 1.5 days.
Not bad, not bad.
Now, should I offer it on github? Seems like I might be kicking myself in the balls if I did.
On the one hand, I don't have a lot of time atm, on the other, I'd love to meet fellow programmers who seek out and would want this, and perhaps contribute. Could lead to some great partnerships down the line..
Anyone have experience with this? Did it take a lot more time than you thought, did you meet other programmers and ended up collaborating on future projects?
Curious.. -
So, If I search my name on twitter, I get a day dedicated to me.
https://thenextweb.com/shareables/... -
What big set of fucken steel balls does one need to just clap your notebook without closing your porn?
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So... a while ago I made a small prank to my fellow non tech programmers (CNC programmers doesn't mean they know how to even use explorer)
http://www.sanger.dk/
Go check it out
It's my screensaver now :p cute when I'm gamming and my second screen is free
1 -
I just had my first "technical" interview with a CDO of a digital marketing startup currently employing ~50 people. The quotes come from the fact that he basically didn't ask me a single question - he basically spent 30 minutes talking about their tools, how everything works etc. I asked a metric shitton of questions, but I don't know how this whole situation could give any assessment of my position as a junior frontend web dev. I'm confused as balls.7
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mass exodus from a company but apparently nobody has the balls (or foolishness) to tell them the pay is dogshit
escapees may be operating under the model that it doesn't benefit them to tell the truth to the company
absolutely hilarious and baffling that the company feigns ignorance on this or is genuinely incompetent3 -
Herding managers all day, I feel like a corporate cowboy.
Ewww… one just shat on my Balenciaga boots in spite - guess it’s time to cut its balls off.2 -
Kong API Gateway in Kubernetes is a load of balls. Spent half a day trying to stabilise the deployment after I bumped its pod resource requests.1
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When the big guy at the top for vanity sake changes the name of a git team, breaking every auto deployment and local repo needing updating for every fucking one. console.log("fucking shit balls")
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Holy balls, autofill is my favorite new feature of Android!
My keepass, which I've been using and been hopelessly dependent on since 2002 or so, is now compliant with autofill through keepass2android. Cackling with glee over here.1 -
windows 10... hmmm blue screen of death is a different shade of blue now... still sucks balls though.1
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The washing machine broke 3 days before the wedding :'( it flooded the restaurant below my house and there was a whole fucking mess and I had to clean everything. Meanwhile my boss is still on my ass.
I shouldn't have brought shit from mediamarkt. German quality my balls.14 -
Why do companies pile on the work in the Summer and have less in the Winter? I want to do shit in the Summer. Let's bust balls in the Winter when it's too damn cold to do anything!1
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Anyone else pissed off by the lack of screenshots on tutorials that tell you how to change display language on things? No?! Just me then..
Happened once or twice I needed to change display language from xy to english so I know what am I clickin.. and tutorial was all like 'go to menu tools settigs and find the language settings under advanced tab'..
No pics, nothing on how to get 'there'.. How the fuck am I supposed to get to the menu to change the language?! Oh, right, just click away and hope for the best :/ FFS!!2 -
TYPO3: You can use this hook to modify all links generated on the website. Well, all links except those few over there, which for some reason use a completely different class that does basically the same thing, and will even call your hook, but then ignore the result completely.
Me: Fuck you! I've spent almost a day trying to find the right hook, because they are all undocumented, have stupid names and every time I get close to a solution, some other part of your code decides to circumvent the hook.
Also me: After spending hours sifting through the depths of the TYPO3 core, I seriously wonder why it works at all. Spaghetti code, classes fetching properties directly instead of using the getters, loads of global variables... Wtf is wrong with that thing?
And people say WordPress is shitty code.1 -
do I really need another tool to make my life more simple in the js world?? I mean who the fuck thinks we need another choice in this js world at this point? data layer used to be the easy part for me, now I need this new great thing I can't live without?? and the have to have new way tool never simplifies. like ever. sequelize my balls.4
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SFTP timeout errors.. nothing to find in the logs (if i look in the right logs that is) and my balls hurt. My evening cant get better lol4
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Who else knows and FUCKING HATES CITRIX? This dump piece of VM software runs like shit in our company, crashes often and destroys my ours of work daily!
I need this frecking piece of shit to plan new Glasfiber connections to customers... Not wondering everyone hates my company because we can't fucking work!1 -
WHEH THE FUCKING CUSTOMS WON'T ACCEPT THE FUCKING ONLINE PAYMENT, BECAUSE THE "KNOW" HOW THOSE FUCKING THINGS WORK! WELCOME TO THE BALLS SUCKING STONE AGE!
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What would be cool as a feature? Getting notifications when people downvote you. Let's see who has the balls to downvote instead of hiding behind a screen and punching a "--"5
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January is always the month of feedback and reflection. I dont mind going to the office x times a week and standing still on the highway every day. But if they are asking me to spend my own time on a course now they can lick my balls. Im already working for two years without a raise. Ik not continuing like this. I understand everyone needs to improve but if im exhausted at the end of the day by all the buzz in the office i dont have energy left for additional schooling. Im learning on the job. Deal with it1
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AWS documentation and their paid tech support sucks so fucking much. Jesus fucking balls
P.S. Can any of you explain to me how to generate pre-signed url for GET request for CCP transcriptions?5 -
Sorry, just saw this and had to post it.
Squeezing stress balls not as effective as punching someone in the face, finds study.
http://newsthump.com/2015/02/... -
What happens when programmers are drunk like shit in an office party, and you try to leave?
"import back that muthafucka and lets build his balls" -
NodeJS’s transition from CommonJS is still a bit of a mess. Jest is the most used unit testing tool, but you need to fondle its balls to get it to work with ESM. Jasmine is the only major testing framework to support ESM out of the box. Luckily, jasmine is actually really nice.4
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It be cool our if SVN got fixed so I could commit changes again. Or while it's down look at other vc options, maybe git?
Nudge, nudge wink, wink.
But in all seriousness wtf did the dba's do to break SVN? Logging my changes in a spreadsheet sucks raw balls. -
I need to make a prototype. I've needed to make it for weeks. I need to have it made by the end of June.
Fuck you Netflix!
Fuck you right in the balls! -
Update on job hunting in the first world:
1- Tens of rejections
2- Had one HR interview last week, seemed to have went well and claimed to check with techlead for a technical interview so fingers crossed
3-interview tomorrow with another company
Also January weather sux balls -
Of all the bullish moves by businesses this is probably the worst..shows how companies like Amazon and Google got us by the balls..
4 -
So, a new coworker started here about two months ago. He's all about talking but the actions aren't very fast.
I looked at my Pull Request and this guy is writing comments for 5. Where the hell did he get the balls from? Seriously!
Please stand next to the designer so i can slap both of you bitches. -
my new car. already got 2 new whores drooling up over it. will get lots more till at least 100 whores drain my balls
9 -
So I interviewed with Yahoo for SDET position, hr said he would get back to me in couple of days and never responded. He knew that I had multiple offers, why the fuck would he not respond.
Finally, after couple of weeks I was able to get hold of him after calling like a million times and then he says that my profile is still under review. WTF?
why do they treat candidates like this? Facebook was so better, even though I couldn't go past the final round I found their interview process very open and felt they actually cared about me.
yahoo get your shit together. #yahoofail1 -
Fuck me, I must be trippin' some js balls. I have a number const which gets yanked out from a number[] and then compared in a find method. Trouble is, the const is somehow turned into a string at compile time.5
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“Oh lie and let us get away with stuff by giving us total control over what you remember so we can bamboozle you and you can look like you’re either weak or complicit“ oh yeah great idea.
Get right on that .
Far as I can tell you people are all permanently crazy because you all do just that
And your balls are gone9 -
Diving balls deep into Reactive Native + Electron after close to a year hammering away like clockwork with Python(everything), Flutter/Dart, EJS/JS/jQuery/Node makes me feel like my manhood has left hahahaha
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Fixing bugs is like scratching balls , if you're at it for too long and it hurts ....
It's probably time to try a different approach .... -
So I just woke up and there is an internet outage in my neighborhood because optimum sucks balls, fuck the whole stupid low class internet service
Now I have to leave my house so I can work -
What is the point of demanding an app if the app consists mainly of web pages?!?
And thanks for making it almost impossible for me to handle what the back button does when the user is balls deep inside of a website inside of the app.7 -
Xilinx documentsation sucks balls.
I never expected interacting with fpga to be such a pain in the ass.1 -
Just started working on Alexa skills ,
And I must say , feel like a dog lost in a pool of balls plastic balls, while am chained to a pole. So much I can do.. but there’s no documentation as to how things work
All the docs available are old, and I didn’t really understand how things are working5 -
I never thought how hard it would be to write cross platform software. If statements and try/excepts are everywheeere. And I still need to reformat the strings for different aspect ratios.
I wish I had the balls to use this awesome sentence "Works on my machine" 😂 -
Anyone else get really infuriated when Flutter keeps deploying an old version of your code!? It drives me absolutely nuts and I wish to kick Flutter in the non-existing balls!1
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What ergonomic chairs do you devs use? Balls? kneeling chairs? Photo and your experience using it would be cool3
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If the dutchies had any balls they would declare war on the USA over the haag invasion act. Clearly a cassus belli.
But they're too busy whining about arabs lmao. What a bunch of submissive cunts.19 -
I've had it with discords interaction API. The docs are vague and cryptic at crucial times and overall it sucks balls. I've been trying to build a framework for myself around this, but this shit is impossible to do without hacks or inconvenient at best to work around and the worst part is that the discord quality assertion or anyone trying to bring some quality back into this mess has left a long time, so it will stay like that for an even longer time. FUCKKK!
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Does anyone here knows some efficiant way for stupid Broadcom wifi card to work efficiant on linux? Its Bcm43142. I recently transfered on Manjaro by suggestion of fellow ranters, but little that I knew or I wanted to forget from earlier experiences that Broadcom is bag of balls that noone wants and that it doesnt work correctly on any distro. I'm feeling like protagonist of that meme "C'mon, do something...". I really dont want to give up on linux once again cuz of dump wifi controller.7
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People talking about getting 100 +1's when I haven't even broken the 50 +1's barrier lol everyone should be having fun here, don't worry guys, stress balls will come 😊
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fn key is the most evil shit key from hell
no matter where you put it, there is no layout in which you don't keep hitting it instead of something else.. It's not like you need most of the F# keys anyway you can just as well have the functional keys without this abomination.. or here's one: how about making a fucking mapping hm? To inventor of fn key: "You can suck my balls!"1 -
Its a real kick in the balls when you’re coding crazy for hours and the on the first test you get a fuckin Syntax Error2
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Aaaaand all tabs and windows go to bitches again.. sigh.. did closed tabs and windows in feierfox EVER work for anyone? I have noticed restore session works. But after closing gracefully, feiafax just don't bother saving shit. Somehow I have less patience when it comes to browsers. Fuck you feuercocks! Suck my balls you memory hungry, wannabe free hippie hippo. Done, deleted, die!!9
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Silicon Valley. Imaging you burst ur balls to build your company. Burst ur mother fucking balls, and clits, to be big, best algo rhythm etc then the fucking board tells u ur fired???? Believe me, my company will have no mother fucking board members. Fuck. That!2
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Had a hell of a week trying to convince a client that "Case Sensitivity" is a real thing in programming languages.
So there was some typo in some third party code which client had provided which was not giving the accurate results, but the client was not ready to listen. I asked him to get the variable rectified from the 3rd party from
var1 to Var1
But he somehow had a notion in the back of his mind that the 3rd party could never ever be wrong and it was surely I who had screwed up the code and he won't even bother the other team.
He was all like "I don't understand anything remotely connected with coding, but do explain me why is this not working ?" (His exact words)
Me (thinking): umm, WTF !!!
After to and fro for the whole damn week, finally able to convince him ( I guess, still doubtful) after giving the video and link of a jsfiddle showing him all the freaking magic of caseSensitivity! -
filled train. to the left business men with maximum size balls, to the right an elderly woman talking nonstop to a stranger. and no power outlet for my drained computer.10
-
Hi there
Every few months I switch my Linux distro, currently I’m having a look at Manjaro.
I really like it so far, but there’s one thing that sucks freaking donkey balls..
Everything works perfectly until I shutdown.
On shutdown the whole OS freezes.
Although Manjaro is known for its big and new-to-arch friendly community, I didn’t find many posts about this problem and if I did, the questions were not answered.
Any ideas?3 -
Android Studio is amazing until it freezes, then I immediately get pissed off and change my mind!!
I'm running a goddamn macbook that's less than a year old, has more than enough balls to handle it on top of it having an SSD. Besides my iOS emulator running with Android Studio I have nothing else open!!! Is AS's heap size set too small maybe?? I've been running linux for so lomg because I couldn't afford a Mac, and up until this point it's amazing!!! I just think AS likes to be a pile of shit sometimes.2 -
The introduction of chat apps as a team tool was a definite turning point for the worst. Just a tool for account executives to hold you by the balls..2
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Did you know the generous North Korean state have distributed drugz through the world?
Most based country. I wish Belgium had the balls to gulag the right-wingers and steal bitcoins. Europe is fucking boring16 -
> I made it through the security! Finally, time for some blues!
> *guy on stage pulls out the guitar*
> *It's a $5,000 PRS*
> oh no, it's going to be lawyer blues!
> 🎵that nasty prosecutor, he got me by my balls🎵
> 🎵LORD! that that nasty prosecutor got me by my balls🎵
> 🎵I wish I could finish the paperwork…🎵
> 🎵LORD! I wish I could finish until the morning falls🎵
> *five minutes of minor pentatonic noodling*2 -
Recruiter got tired of me being not interested and just went ahead with a friendly reminder of a previous email with credentials for some test so we can move ahead with the process... talk bout some balls
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My grand daddy was a racist asshole who hated arabs and black people.
But my dad was right. No matter the race or the origin, the religion, jew or gentiles, rich or poor, pp or not, we should unite against our common enemy.
The flemmish.
It may sounds racist but seriously, my washing machine broke, it's not even 6 months old. I had to fight with them for weeks and now they only offers me an appointment in 5 weeks
Mediamarkt my balls. Fucking germans2 -
Everything I did was wrong with a CTO because I didn't format identically to him, balls were busted daily.
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!dev
Is a sweet Christiaan girl who will behave until the wedding night then let me put my balls on her eyes really too much to ask for?3 -
Our Bus Factor is 0.1:
if a Bus, somebody, or something breaks or slightly touch one of my balls, the whole company is screwed.10 -
stupid dumb wordpress, who POSTS a user registration, returns data to the SAME site with a dumb "successful" message alert, and THEN redirects to whatever page you want?!?! looks like shit, feels like shit in terms of UX
JUST REDIRECT ME TO THE PAGE I WANT FROM THE SERVER THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF PHP
I swear its as slow as balls too -
Dear TYPO3, choke on my massive dick! Been working with it for a week now. It would be more pleasant to pleasure myself rectally with a 20cm cactus than working with this piece of shit! Why the fuck would you think that we need typoscript? Why the fuck are you using numbers as variables? I don't get why this abnormality is still allowed to exist. And fuck people that publish tools and extensions that are used by everyone just to drop support on the next LTS. And, oh look, I just have to add these four extensions that are from the same person and are dependencies for each other to my composer. Oh WTF, why is nothing working anymore? AND WHY THE HELL IS THIS FUCKING ERROR MESSAGE AS COMMUNICATIVE AS MY STUPID EX GIRLFRIEND?
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untreated testicular cancer whore ass scrotum looking mouth wrapped in a cocksucker's infra-lingual malignant tumor vomiting a stupid stinking pussy fart of a retort can unequivocally swallow a vast jungle of hairy fucking balls4
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Rawr X3 *nuzzles* How are you? *pounces on you* you're so warm o3o *notices you have a bulge* someone's happy! *nuzzles your necky wecky* ~murr~ hehe 😉 *rubbies your bulgy wolgy* you're so big! *rubbies more on your bulgy wolgy* it doesn't stop growing .///. *kisses you and licks your neck* daddy likes 😉 *nuzzle wuzzle* I hope daddy likes *wiggles butt and squirms* I wanna see your big daddy meat! *wiggles butt* I have a little itch o3o *wags tails* can you please get my itch? *put paws on your chest* nyea~ it's a seven inch itch *rubs your chest* can you pwease? *squirms* pwetty pwease? 🙁 I need to be punished *runs paws down your chest and bites lip* like, I need to be punished really good *paws on your bulge as I lick my lips* I'm getting thirsty. I could go for some milk *unbuttons your pants as my eyes glow* you smell so musky 😉 *licks shaft* mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm so musky 😉 *drools all over your cawk* your daddy meat. I like. Mister fuzzy balls. *puts snout on balls and inhales deeply* oh my gawd. I'm so hard *rubbies your bulgy wolgy* *licks balls* punish me daddy nyea~ *squirms more and wiggles butt* I9/11 lovewas an yourinside muskyjob goodness *bites lip* please punish me *licks lips* nyea~ *suckles on your tip* so good *licks pre off your cock* salty goodness~ *eyes roll back and goes balls deep*4
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See this is the shit that drives me crazy
I remember implementing for example the voice synthesis trained model I found and it only kind of worked and there being a better way of determining what the expected model inputs were but I can’t remember
Life needs to move on
It’s well last time !
Where the he’ll can I go for life to move on so I can focus on something instead of being dragged around by my balls ????
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