Details
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About21 year old low-skill C# dev with a gorgeous fiancée.
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SkillsC#
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LocationKentucky, USA
Joined devRant on 3/18/2018
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If grade school was like stack overflow:
Kid: "I can't figure out how to subtract on this problem."
Teacher: "LULZ you fuckin dumbass, someone already asked about subtraction! Learn to Google and stop wasting my time!"9 -
This is the shit I have to deal with in school. Teacher told us to review each others code. This is one of the gems i found so far. Some people just wants to see the world burn...19
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TL;DR: I “hacked” my thermostat.
I’m stuck with an annoying roommate in college dorms who apparently always keeps the FUCKING thermostat at 80F. LIKE WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK IS WRONG WITH HIM. Every time I change it to like 73F, he changes it back to 80F Heat.
Getting tired of his shit for over a semester, I decided to do something about it. I looked up the thermostat made by HoneyWell and downloaded the product manual of it. Turns out, they have a system override ability to remove the heating mode and change the maximum and minimum values of temperature.
BOOM! I removed the heating mode and changed the minimum value to 70 and max to 74.
It’s 2AM here and I can finally go to sleep without sweating my balls off. I’ll keep you guys updated on his reaction hahahaha.28 -
#!/bin/sh
# Application X deployment script
## some code ##
function sudo_remove {
directory=$1
filename=$2
sudo /bin/rm -rf $directry/$filename
}
### some more code using function above ##
>400 servers completely corrupted. Twice in one week.
Who can spot it? :)9 -
My first personal computer in 1988: the ZX Spectrum +.
48 KBytes of memory.
The European opponent of Commodore 64. Sic!8 -
Buzzword dictionary to deal with annoying clients:
AI—regression
Big data—data
Blockchain—database
Algorithm—automated decision-making
Cloud—Internet
Crypto—cryptocurrency
Dark web—Onion service
Data science—statistics done by nonstatisticians
Disruption—competition
Viral—popular
IoT—malware-ready device15 -
Me: This is good, but here’s a small tiny change that will make it even better!
Tests: 1 success, 3628 failures, simulator freezes and crashes computer
Me: never mind... -
Had a late night thought and I made this handy tool. It Lets you transfer files and directories from your computer to your mobile device by scanning a QR code right from the terminal.
https://github.com/mirimmad/...2 -
So my manager (a 29 y/o, who hardly can use a mac) walks towards me with a hint of panic in his eyes.
Manager: Hey commander keen, do you know how to use vertical look up in excel, I've tried, and looked at tutorials.
Me: yeah I really don't know excel (and not willing to learn, especially on the fly), I don't even have excel installed, I can write I script that does what you want.
Manager: No you have enough on your plate
3 hours later
Manager: hey I still can't figure it out, could you solve it with a script, won't that take to long
Me: no send me the files, Ill do it with a script.
I start writing 2 for loops and wait for the file, 10 ish minutes later its basicly done, just need to put in the column indexes.
I send a message on both slack channels (hey are you going to email or slack me the file)
After a hour I walk to his desk and again ask him for the file.
Manager a good 2 hours later on slack: Hey I just send you the file, I hope its not to much work, it has to happen asap.
So if you have kids, and they are not that bright by some kind of birth defect, don't worry, they can always become a manager.
But you can't get me down today. I hit 2000 upvotes and the employer is unknowingly a proud sponsor for reading and writing all these rants and comments :-) thnx devrant8 -
I just remember this short story:
When I was about 7 or 8 (around 1994), my dad had a computer at his office with MSDOS.
There I'd type "carmen.exe" and it would start "Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego?" or "pool.exe" would run a 2D Pool game I don't remember the exact name.
And yet, there was a "dolphin.exe" that I always thought it was a game but I never got it running. Obviously I don't remember what was the exact issue but to this day, 20+ years later it still bugs me to know what was this "dolphin.exe" program.4 -
Leader: Meeting starts in 10 mins, we have to show this to the boss
*Team member breaks database silently
*I notice the API has stopped working
Leader: Anyone , anything you want to tell me before the meeting.
*I raise my hand
Me: Yep, the API is not working :)
*Everybody ... FACEPALM2 -
My "Coding Standards" for my dev team
1.) Every developer thinks or have thought their shit don't stink. If you think you have the best code, submit it to your peers for review. The results may surprise you.
2.) It doesn't matter if you've been working here for a day or ten years. Everyone's input is valuable. I don't care if you're the best damn programmer. If you ever pull rank or seniority on someone who is trying to help, even if it isn't necessarily valid or helpful, please have your resume ready to work elsewhere.
3.) Every language is great and every language sucks in their own ways. We don't have time for a measuring contest. The only time a language debate should arise is for the goal of finding the right one for the project at hand.
4.) Comment your code. We don't have time to investigate what the structure and purpose of your code is when we need to extend upon it.
5.) If you use someone else's work, give them the credit in your comments. Plagiarism will not be tolerated.
6.) If you use flash, you will be taken out back and shot. If you survive, you will be shot again.
7.) If you load jQuery for the sole purpose of writing a simple function, #6 applies.
8.) Unless it is an actual picture, there is little to no reason for not utilizing CSS. That's what it's there for.
9.) We don't support any version of Internet Explorer and Edge other than the latest versions, and only layout/alignment fixes will be bothered with.
10.) If you are struggling with a task, reach out. While you should be able to work independently, it doesn't make sense to waste your time and everyone else's to not seek assistance when needed.
11.) I'm serious about #6 and #7. Don't do it.48 -
I am traveling 550 Km (9hrs) just to give my first interview for the position of Jr. Natural Language Processing Engineer.
Wish me luck...8 -
Never though much of MOOC like Udemy and coursera. Boy was i wrong. I never learned cool new subjects like docker, cubernetes and reactjs that fast:)! It even gives me more oppertunities for a new job! Never Give up learning new tech guys :)1
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"Dim lighting is producing dimwits, It can change your brain structure .."
I'm fucked ... we all are.
https://fastcodesign.com/90159662/...5