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Wife: what are you thinking about?
Me: how to optimize key storage in a binary tree
Wife: forget that I asked5 -
Rule 34 ½: For every programming problem, there is already related XKCD, StackOverflow question and indian guy explaining it on YouTube. <3
23 -
After finishing up 70% of a feature,
Brain: "there's a better way to do it"
Me: "ok ill just change a bit of code here and there.."
-- 2 hours later --
swimming in spaghetti code..7 -
Coworker: You've merged the wrong PR. It is broken.
Me: is it marked as broken? Is there a mail marking it as broken?
Coworker: yes. I wrote something in the chat.
Me: 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
I do NOT read and click every brain fart from the chat. I had the PR (as reviewer and dependent developer) open on my desk and waited for the coworker to fix his merge conflicts.
OK then, try to revert. Git reset hard. Push -f. Policy does not allow master modification. 🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕🖕
Fuck this company. Fuck the policies. Fuck them all with a chainsaw. Forced me to work 2 weeks more. 17.04 should have been my last day at this circus. Let 3 other guys go to vacation while I have fix their management's mistakes. Fuck. You. All. Eat shit and suffocate in piss.8 -
It's funny, whenever the subject of facebook vs privacy comes up (mostly I don't even initiate those convo's), people always start to defend facebook when I say that I THINK that facebook is build to get people addicted to it and get them to stay on facebook as long as possible.
Haha, one of facebook's early investers/ex facebook presidents said the following in an interview:
“It’s a social-validation feedback loop, exactly the kind of thing that a hacker like myself would come up with, because you’re exploiting a vulnerability in human psychology.”
So even an ex president of facebook is admitting this.
I also found the folloing a good one:
The underlying thought process while creating platforms like Facebook or Instagram is something like “How do we consume as much of your time and conscious attention as possible?”
Last but not least, the part I found the most scary:
“God only knows what it’s doing to our children’s brains.”
Yes, I find this scary.
Oh yeah and for the people who are going to call bullshit on this one, I've got one source and if you search engine on the title of that article then you'll find loads of websites having that story:
https://fossbytes.com/facebook-was-...26 -
Generic-IT
--------------
Client:"So we would like to found a new company and offer IT and network consulting. Would you be able to build our website?"
Me:"Absolutely. What will be the name of your company?"
Client:"The name is going to be 'Generic-IT'. The website is going to be 'generic-IT.com' . We checked that with google."
Me:"I am sorry to tell you that generic.com is already taken by another company. Incidentally that company offers the same services, that you intend to offer. They also seem to be quite big an have businesses in 5 different countries.
Because of this I advise you to pick a different name that does not get you into trouble and makes positioning your own brand easier."
Client:"We want to neglect that problem for now."
Me:"0.0 ..... -_-""""
"Well, listen. Apart from the possible branding and copyright problems imagine how people will find you on the web. ...What will happen if you google 'generic IT'?"
Client:"Yeah well, we want to neglect that. And with SEO you can do something about that."
Me:"..........Welllll, you that SEO is not a cure all, right? The older an bigger company will come up first. Why not avoid that missunderstanding and come up with a unique name?"
Client:"......"
Me:"Please tell me. Doesn't any part of my argument make sense to you?"
Client:"..."
Me:"Well, ok. I will send you the estimate on monday."
___________
Then over a back channel I hear that the client is ...bewildered, why I would not stick to my area of expertise.
There I was now. Left bewildered myself, being the one with the webagency that does frontend design and branding.7 -
When your brain only functions at night and morning meetings with your team make you look like you never coded in your life.1
-
Coworker 1: Ugh, what name should I give this variable? Any idea?
Coworker 2: Doesn't matter that much. Just give it a name.
Coworker 1: ** Types in "albert" **7 -
I had a weird dream last night where people communicated by using log statements.
Like if I wanted to say something very loud I'd think Log.wtf("WTF!") and it would appear in front of me like subtitles. Log levels were equivalent to tone level.
The scene was basically a bunch of people with log statements of various levels in front of them and their lips moving with no sound.
I think I need a vacation.2 -
When I'm tired, I can't do a damned thing. If it takes effort or concentration, I'm useless. Games are just frustrating. If it's something enjoyable, I simply can't care enough to enjoy it. If I read a book, I can't focus on the words, and won't remember anything I read. If its mindless like watching Netflix, I won't remember the next day, or rather I'll remember just enough to ruin it for myself.
So why not sleep?
Because I've been feeling like this every day, all day long for months. No, that vile liquid called coffee doesn't help. If I rest my eyes and stop thinking for a few minutes, I wake up a little and can function normally for a minute or two before passing out again. I'm not depressed, or at least I don't think I am. I feel like my brain died or got replaced with a lizard's.
And this sucks because I'm still during the probation period at work, and learning the sprawling and intricate codebase is actually challenging. And they're giving me large tickets because I was a dummy and impressed them too much.
Idk what's wrong with me, but I hope it stops soon.
I miss being able to think and plan and do anything besides just struggle to stay awake. 😞16 -
BRAIN_UNCAUGHT_EXCEPTION
Could not execute "sleep()", as main thread was busy thinking about why a beautiful girl would just handle me her number.
Ok we did get on well but it was unexpected nevertheless
Thank you brain for wasting my day 👍11 -
This morning I kept falling back asleep after the alarm went off, drifting in and out of a dream about programming.
My wife finally said "no more sleeping".
Still mostly sleep, I replied very confidently "you can't sleep in a sandbox!".
I was dreaming I was in a code sandbox. Obviously sleeping is not allowed.
Jeez, my head has been really full of programming since this conference. (One of the talks was on codesandbox). -
Good morning everyone (atleast for my Time Zone), god bless you all !
been following my morning silly brain for 3 hours to write an 8086 assembler CPU and RAM emulator. after 1 hour of debugging, time to polish it and refactoring.
7 -
Another fucking rant about my fucking goldfish brain.
At meetings, I usually note down things I need to fix, to do on the sticky note pad that comes with the OS, currently Mint.
I sat at my desk.
Looked at my notes.
Decided to properly put them as tasks on trello.
I copied all notes, planning to paste it on a trello card quickly.
Then I can just work on trello and separate into different tasks.
Connection issue.
Ethernet said connected but websites are not showing up.
Maybe restart will fix since I haven't opened any app and started working anyway.
Reboot.
Internet works.
Yayyy.
Trello showed up.
Yayyy.
oooh
f
u
c
k.
fuck.
fuck.14 -
**Evolution of Cursee's Search Queries**
Chronological orders from 2007 to 2018
- internet not working
- wifi not working
- wifi not working on ubuntu
- wifi not working on ubuntu XX.xx
- install wifi driver ubuntu XX.xx
- install Realtek rtl88xxxx on ubuntu Xx.xx6 -
Me: "I've got an exam tomorrow morning, I should try to go to sleep early tonight".
22:00 - Get into bed and put on audiobook
23:00 - "Alright I'm getting sleepy now, I should fall asleep soon :)"
00:00 - "Must be soon now"
01:00 - "Maybe in 15 minutes"
02:00 - "Still got 6 hours to sleep, plenty of time"
03:00 - "My body is tired, my mind is not"
04:00 - "RIP"
It's safe to say that my sleep rhythm is utterly fucked.14 -
When you set an alias for vi and completely forget about it
# alias vi=nano
God damn, I was so confused for a minute 🤦♂️18 -
So I was procrastinating on my side project, then somehow started a new one but this time with three partners, now I procrastinate on this new project by working on my side project.
GREAT4 -
Does anyone have a website or group that I can follow to get inspiration for design? It can be colours, web design, and logos6
-
//begin midnight rant
THATS IT, I AM PISSED OFF NOW ABOUT THIS SNAPCHAT SHIT!!!
I DON'T GIVE A FUCK !!!
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN SNAP CHAT WAS INVENTED
I DIDN'T GIVE A FUCK WHEN WATSAPP COPIED ITS FEATURE(yeah I haven't seen your pathetic story)
AND I ALSO DONT GIVE A FLYING FUCK ABOUT THE SHIT ITS GOTTEN INTO NOW.
as a guy who is allergic to people I stay the fuck away from such apps.
but for God's sake get real u shit heads... Uninstalling an app is not an achievement worth bragging about( there is a drag and drop interface for it in ur Android phone)
Here is a guy who started his own company when he graduated from college and is providing employment to 100s of ppl and ur going to put that at risk just because your fragile ego was hurt because of "poor country " comment fuck u do your research that comment was made in 2015 when a monthly 1gb 3g internet would burn a hole in your pocket
Go screw yourselves u brain dead pieces of shit if u r so worked up about being called a poor country then start a company and provide jobs for the people who are struggling(why would you when uninstalling an app is so much easier).
Any one with 300 mg of common sense would have realize that the video would have difficulty in buffering in your slow ass 2g internet pack in your phone in 2015 when Jio sim was not yet introduced.
People like you are the reason I wish the super villains would win at the end of sifi movies.
I hope God(if there is one and if ever he decides to give a fuck) would give the guys who built this app the strength to get through this shit storm
PEACE OUT
//End of mid night rant11 -
Yesterday ... well no, today it was, I couldn't go to sleep because my brain couldn't stop thinking about solutions for this problem I had and I literally got up from bed and went to my computer to test my ideas. It still didn't work and eventually I got so tired that I went back to bed, I was still thinking about solutions when I fell asleep.12
-
When the client rings up saying the website is down. I say can you see any other sites. They say, no, nothing is coming up. It's your internet connection, kindly fuck off!
-
I wish I could type into my brain:"dd if=/dev/zero of=/dev/sda bs=512 count=1337"
To delete everything of my ex gf memories...
She just wrote a message, again...22 -
so I have a junior who merged in a fix for an issue yesterday, and it was tested today and there was an issue with his "fix".
so he comes to me and says "hey this is an issue" and i'm like "yeah, remember i told you about that yesterday when i tested your changes? why did it get merged?"
so i tell him "its because of <reason> and that's why i specified the approach that i did in the ticket originally"
so he's like "ok i'll try that" and before doing that i leave him with "you will probably want to do <thing> because of <reason> with that approach"
so fast forward to like 10 mins ago. literally half the fucking day has gone by.
"hey, so i can't get this to work"
"yeah its because <reason> but what you /can/ do is <same fucking thing i told him to do this morning>"
"oh ok, ill give that a shot :thumbsup: "
and yet he's had this chip on his shoulder since reviews because he feels like he should have gotten a bigger raise and he's worth more than he's paid. and wonders why after 3 years he still hasn't been promoted from a junior.
and don't fucking say 'that's above my pay grade' all the time like you aren't fairly compensated, and then struggle to employ the same fucking patterns in a code base you've worked with for 3 years now.4 -
So far 9 people left because of that newly hired COO ( check my previous rants ), 4 from digital department including the manager
Enjoy making the company bankrupt asshole !!!5 -
I started drinking coffee when I started as a junior dev.
I loved its boost, but after a while being on coffee was exactly how I felt before as normal. I incrementally upped the dosage, while my resistance creeped up too. I reached a moment when I drank a liter daily, so I witched to yerba maté instead, which resulted in more potent brews. Then I got used to its strength too plus it tasted like horseshit. I switched to caffeine tablets, takingg more and more. Soon after I reached a level which was described medically as the top one should be allowed to take.
I no longer felt any boost. In between caffeinated moments of normalty, I felt like a brain-dead zombie. When I was caffeinated, I was jittery, my shoulder and eyebrow was glitching, my stomach was flexing like before taking a huge exam.
After some miserable time like that, I quit caffeine entirely. I was fatigued, dull and my mind was hazy for te next 1-2 weeks.
I then finally, became gradually normal again.
I drink tea and coffee only socially, perhaps a few times in a month, and never after too much later than noon.
Now I can't wear my "Programmer. Converts coffee into code" shirt anymore. Apart from that, I'm much better off :)
What's your coffee story?14 -
I would like to take a moment to thank my brain.
I dreamed about the code I need to write to create something I was struggling with! Logically it all make sense!
Just needs to try it and see how it goes.
Thank you Brain!5 -
> clicks Twitter shortcut
*dns probe failed*
"oh, is cloudflare dns down?"
> goes to cloudflarestatus.com
*dns probe failed*
"ah, right dns isn't working..."7 -
Adventures Of The New COO
So when that new COO joined our company ( read my previous rant to know that story ) he brought a graphic designer with him
as a designer he's ok, more of a old school package designer type, but as a person one of the most annoying one I've ever met, always want to be included with our conversations, talk about rain and stuff
so few days ago, i was working on a website, headphones plugged in, music playing, he comes near my seat
Designer: Are you busy ?
Me: yeah, I've this website to finish
Designer: So i have this idea for an app
Me: *taking off headphones while thinking doesn't this dumbass know the meaning of busy*
Designer: what if we create an app for super markets, like this isle has this stuff, that isle has soap or something and how it'll be easy to find what you want to buy and keeps going on and on for about 5 minutes
Me: *making my voice as polite and sarcastic as possible*
It wouldn't work, every market has a different layout even among same market chain it's different
Me: have you ever been to a super market, they have a board saying what the isle is above the isle, all you have to do is just look up
Designer: hmm yeah i guess
*walks away*
everyone wants to make apps and make money, but doesn't have the fucking brain capacity to think about the idea for a bit and do some research, instead they come and waste our time2 -
Coworker: I've got an error, can't figure it out...
Me: Send error
Coworker: NullPointerException
Me: fml
Sr. my balls.1 -
This kind of random stuff happens to me often:
*comes home from going out*
*wants to sleep badly*
Brain: heyyy, why don't we take a look at some vps discounts!!!
Me: please, I want to FUCKING sleep.
Brain: oh come on...
Me: pls don't do this to me..
Brain: But vps discounts...
Me: oh FUCK YOU, I'll go look up some stuff.
My brain can be weird and annoying.8 -
Monday, 8pm.
Terminal is writing outputs on my screen.
Spotify is running.
The calm.
And then, an electric impulse goes from a neurone to another, travelling through my synapses: an idea!
“What if I had a favourite terminal commands manager? That’d be so cool! I could have an automatic mode that listens to my terminal input/ retrieves list from “history” command and sets up a ranking of most used ones to reuse with a shortcut, and even better, you can create the list!
I’m gonna definitely do this!”
5 Minutes of Google later :
apt install iDontRemember
Sigh.10 -
!Dev
I found this on Quora... it keeps me awake as I struggle to find the fourth person. Yes I can see 3 persons and four bottles.
4 -
So i look at my phone checking how late it is...
I put my phone back into my pocket...
My brain is like "time = null;"1 -
That feeling when you're supposed to debug code someone else wrote a decade ago but it's such a horrible mess that your brain just gives up and you end up staring at your monitor for an hour in confusion 😵8
-
You know it's gonna be a good Friday when the dev team takes a work trip to the store to get beer.
Happy Friday everyone!2 -
Wow i must have been brain dead when i wrote this code. Needed to exclude certain elements from response for the the list of objects.
for (obj : objects) {
If (obj.skipFromResponse()) {
break
}
add obj to response
}
I used break instead of continue at the if condition which meant it would break out of the loop at the first instance of condition being met.
This went through qa and has been in production for 4 weeks so how did this not break before. Well little did i know the list of objects was sorted and all the test data, qa data and everything so far in production coincidentally only had the last element with matching condition. This meant it returned everything correctly so far.
Today was the first time there was a situation where this caused incorrect output. Luckily as soon as I heard the description of the issue I remembered to check the merged PR and hung my head in shame for making such trivial error. I must have written way more complicated code without any problem but this made me embarrassed to even admit. 🤦♂️4 -
When you've had a long ass 14 hour day and you're getting nowhere with a problem so you finally accept its time to go to bed...
You lie there for 45 minutes doing nothing but thinking up awesome solutions to the problem you went to bed over....4 -
Fuck my life sometimes.
I'd just finished my work for an ongoing project, it's been over 6 months only to be dragged out to be told another system needs an immediate change which at best will take 3-4 weeks.
Like seriously just let my mind come off down from the completion of previous project before dropping a new barrel of insanity on my desk 😬
I like being busy, don't get me wrong. but damn not even a day of recovery 😓1 -
It is a truly great moment when your work finally is integrated in the website of the biggest news paper of the country and visible to hundreds of thousands of people.
I'm not feeling insignificant anymore. 😄
Next step: Rule the world.8 -
*My friend texting me*
Friend: wtf
My brain: w tf
My brain again: tf
My brain again: import tensorflow as tf
😂😂am brain dead3 -
What the fuck??!?!?
I wanna say :-
Fuck!!! What the fuck a sex robot is?!?? Fuck???
Lets leave this planet here humans are thinking to make a sex robot(fuck! ) who can say no fuck?!?!?! Later they will file rape case for humans who tried to force their robot. FUCKING FUCK BRAINS?!?!?
Full answer: -
A lot of ethicists and psychologists think that yes, they should learn to say no. Here is an interesting article about it:
Should We Program Sex Robots to Give Consent?
I agree with Kate Darling, Ph.D., a research specialist and robot-human interaction expert at MIT Media Lab, told Inverse in a discussion about Westworld, when she says she isn’t concerned about the robots, but with human behavior.
However, when I’ve expressed these feelings on Quora, about this controversy I was downvoted and my answer collapsed because people got offended that I made the claim that an object (the robot) could be ‘raped,’ even after I clarified exactly what I meant by that- that no you cannot rape an object, but just as an object cannot consent, you may be enacting ‘rape’ or torture fantasies, etc., on the robot. I think I was downvoted because my point of view wasn’t exactly what they wanted to hear, was too blunt, and the people who downvote opinions that may look more negatively at the sex robot industry typically aren’t feminists in the slight.
It seems a lot of people want the right to use sex robots and also that a lot of people haven’t really thought about it too deeply. Some people say that the robots will relieve women from sex work or protect people from sexual assault, I think these are very bold claims. Some people compare the sex robots to vibrators or other masturbation tools, but this is simply not accurate because sex robots are designed to be much more. They are marketed as companions that do not cry, nag, etc. People that own them often may dress them, tie them up, have marriage ceremonies, etc., a lot more activities than they would if it was a simple masturbation tool.
6 -
https://5dchesswithmultiversetimetravel.com/...
Someone took chess and made it a 5 dimensional game
I tried playing, and I got checkmated 6 moves in the past by a knight from an entirely different branch
I think my brain melted3 -
What is up with people asking for help and then immediately getting pissy like the first fuckin thing you say?
Shut the fuck up and let me help you, damn.10 -
Spent most of the day researching some obscure exception being raised when trying to use installutil to install my custom windows service only to discover it worked just fine when I ran the command prompt as administrator 🙃🔫2
-
When you find out you passed the exam in which you guessed half of the answers ! 🎆🎉🎊
The algorithms of my brain seem to work well 🤣
This is now my second best module and I didn't study a lot hahaha4 -
When your head actually really hurts because you have been thinking intensively for 8h straight...3
-
If you think learning a language / working with a language you don't like is offensive to you and your morals .. Then don't do it.
Money is important to you ? Then you're just prostituting yourself to some higher authority. So DONT COMPLAIN!
You have the right to hate stuff while being paid for it. Understandable.
But don't shit on the shit you think is shit just cause you put yourself in the situation of not having an option !!
You're a worthless. Money hungry whore.
Yes, you hate Java/ x language but have to work on it ?
You're either a whore or have serious problems with standing up for yourself, but on the internet you become this amazing troll saying the language has problems.
Half the people who hate languages hate them cause it's common to hate them. Like being racist in the early American ages cause it was "normal".
Brain deficient motherfucking whores. Manipulated cocksuckers.
Sidenote : if you've honestly gotten shit on by a new version of the language you were using .It's understandable and I'm on your side. Using it without thorough research on the other hand is your mistake. Languages aren't ideal. Just Like most women don't like your dick cause, well it doesn't fit their use case. Deal with it not, troll about it.
I'm not like you. I experiment with whatever I like before using it. I work on my own stuff. I suck my own fucking dick and I get paid.
If you honestly disagree with me, put a couple points down on the language you hate and why you hate it ( considering the fact that you have actually used it and are not just trying to disagree with me )21 -
Clicks "Exploitation and Enumeration" category.
Clicks "Python (HARD)" challenge.
"What is a key that passes the code?"
Opens Python file and sees one line of nested lambda expressions spanning 1,846 characters (no spaces)
*Cries*8 -
it's so fucking hot in here and I've got no work and still 3 hours left to go...just let me go hooome!5
-
Funny how human brains are never satisfied.
Not much to be done at work today? My job is unproductive and I am wasting my time.
Too much work? You think you fucking own me, bitches!!1 -
If you ever feel that you have a shitty job just remember that there is a programming language called Brainfuck and at least once in time it was someone's job to debug a real program written in Brainfuck. For context, this is a 'Hello World' program in Brainfuck:
++++++++[>++++[>++>+++>+++>+<<<<-]>+>+>->>+[<]<-]>>.>---.+++++++..+++.>>.<-.<.+++.------.--------.>>+.>++.
And here is the same program in the Python programming language:
print('Hello World')10 -
Me: closes eyes and says to myself how I MUST get some sleep..
My brain: *starts thinking about keywords MUST, SHOULD, REQUIRED and how those are defined in RFC-2119*
Why I just can't get some normal sleep, could it be licensing issue with my brain? 🙈2 -
"Your documentation doesn't specify what should be returned if there is no item matching the id, so currently I'm just gonna have it throw a 504"
Why on earth would you? What's wrong with you, you sick bastard?7 -
While working on generic enterprise code: querying databases, calling third-party APIs and just passing data around, I'm thinking: "PLEASE LET ME DO SOME THINKING, LET ME WORK ON SOME HARD ALGORITHM OR SOMETHING!"
When finally working on 'some hard algorithm or something', I'm thinking: "ARGH! MY HEAD ACHES! GIVE ME RELEASE! LET ME WORK ON SOME MINDLESS ENTERPRISE CODE!"1 -
Am I the only one who procrastinates only on starting a task? Like, once I start the task, then it's easy to keep going till completion; but I can't freaking get my butt into the chair and start.
Any tips on how to get over starting troubles?7 -
Last week I forgot to add the break; clause to a bunch of case statements and literally spent a whole evening busting my head 'cause my code wasn't working.
So this week's answer: ME. I'M THE WORST.2 -
Hi.
Programming language types are only two:
- Assembly
- All the rest
I'm destroyed, my brain is melted.
Assembly is hate and love at the same time.2 -
Silly and stupid me.
Woke up.
Check phone. Check devRant.
Saw Trogus's filter update post.
Happy and left a comment.
Went to playstore and update.
Open devRant and use the feature.
Tried to filter only Rants and Questions type.
Happy and went back to sleep again bcz Saturday.
Continue the rest of day with other stuffs.
Use devRant again.
"Huh why the heck is the first post about some random quote?"
"Why the hell is second post meme"
"Why...why...why"
Check filter feature again.
Facepalm.
Silly me and stupid my eyes and useless my brain is not worthy for good and clean UIUX.4 -
So I thought “wow, alcohol aerosol should probably catch fire and burn really quick. I bet I can burn my hands if I do this”.
So I poured pure alcohol into a spray bottle and sprayed it right onto a lit up lighter in my hand.
It burned really quick.
I burned my hands.
I was right.
Affective disorder be like9 -
Everyone has two brains : left brain and right brain.
But your left brain has nothing right and your right brain has nothing left -
Was in a meeting today when it was announced by some higher ups that everyone but me can now leave. After it was just me and some higher ups they began to praise my work and congratulate me for being 2 days ahead of schedule. Before I realised what my mouth was doing, I'd said "two days ... so far"5
-
Unfortunately, "developer brain" does not respond. You have the following options:
Option A
Refill coffee-mug, drink and keep on waiting for a response.
Option B
Go to sleep.1 -
*It's too early*
Opened a rant and read it, then I started furiously started double tapping before I realized that that does not work there.
EDIT:
wait that works, I should really go back to bed.1 -
Just remembered that I forgot to push all day's work..
Now my scumbag brain is going to keep me awake all night thinking about all the shit that can go wrong...
Great1 -
I always emphasize for our trainees to just ask if they need help or have any questions.
But damn, some of them just keep asking about everything! It almost feels like they don’t think to themselves at all..6 -
When is the point where you aren't allowed to touch your own AI anymore?
When it's capable of speech?
When it shows emotions?
When it becomes self aware?
When does it stop being file deletion and start becoming murder?5 -
Issue or Error? Rant story time!
I was working on a windows desktop app, and everything was ok, you know, tests completed succesfully, all in time, etc. The problem was when we showed the demo to one of our clients. He saw several screens and we explained all the features to him.
Client: *Sees a Error pop-up indicating that a remote service is temporarly unavailable (what it has to happen in order to show him how the system would warn him when an external service is out of service)
Client: What’s that?
Lead dev: What do you mean?
Client: Yes. That’s an error pop-up
Lead dev: Yes, it’s a message that tells you that there was an issue connecting to the bank service
C: No, no and no. Please change it
L: Why? Don’t you want the system to tell you when there is a connection issue and why is that happening?
C: Yes, but my employees could lost their minds because of this class of messages!
L: So...?
C: You have to change it
L: Ok. What do you want to change?
C: First of all, don’t put an “Error” icon, put an “Warning” icon, and instead of “Error” title, put... “Issue”
L: “Issue?”
C: Yeah. Don’t put the “E” word, if the users see an “Error” message, they could think that the program doesn’t work, even if it does work.
We all though “WTF?!”
To make the story shorter, we changed all the pop-ups. That took two days.
Is that correct? I know that “Error” sounds hard but, seriously? “Issue: The remote service is not available, contact your bank?”6 -
And the time has come, my gf and I are just a month away from deploying yet we still call the project "project".
Usually solutions jump in my head when programming at least once a day but I can't name the damn thing for the love of God! It's the first night since we started development I have felt clueless.
Plus I don't want to be "that guy" that just gives it a generic name, like there's already a "ratemyprofessors", professor this, teacher that, fuck that shit!
I'm brain dead.
9 -
**** $h!t **** $h!t WHY IN THE BLOODY HELL ARE YOU KEEP FORGETTING AND FORGETTING TO BRING A SINGLE EARPHONES TO OFFICE???? BRAIN, WHYYYYYY?4
-
Fml
I went to a client and forgot my laptop.
Called my boss to send me the file I needed just to realize 1 hour later that I had web access to the repo and could have download myself.
It looks like it will be a promessing day 😑1 -
When it is 645am Friday and you spent the whole week with meetings and tasks and sleepless nights.
You just cannot give a tiny rat ass about the naming of routes and functions.
DO NOT ask me about my variable names!
3 -
When you take a bathroom break thinking of code while absentmindedly soaking your pants and shoes with pee1
-
Dear colleagues. Please use your brain. Don't ask me the same things over and over again. It's really annoying... 😡2
-
me: Hey. This looks like a cool component that will save me lots of time and effort in the project I'm kicking off next week.
/* Two months later */
me: WTF was the name of that component that did that thing?
======================
I really should write things down more often.1 -
Almost a full week without a decent sleep. I fall asleep as soon as work ends for maybe two hours then wake up in the middle of the night. I work again, procrastinate, lie down and try to sleep just to fail in taking my mind off work. A few blinks later, the sun is shining and I can finally sleep without much progress. Two hours or less later, alarm goes off, I attend the standup and do the same shit all over again.
I've been trying to finish as much as I can before going on vacation but there has been some critical issues that I had to prioritize and now I feel like that's not gonna happen. What's gonna happen if I don't finish these before going on vacation? Am I getting a bad review? Am I getting fired? I know I finished all the critical ones but I hate the sight of tickets on my plate although it's expected. It's like seeing a plate with food on it except they don't expire or do they? I like to keep my plate clean although that makes no sense because there should always be work in the queue so I'm pretty much stressing myself out for no reason. See, I know that but I can't stop.
I'm also stressed out with all the requirements I need for my vacation and scared that something would go wrong and it wouldn't happen at all. I need this badly. I am losing my mind in my small apartment shoebox and this fucking city. I want to stay somewhere where trees exist and the people are few.
I am exhausted.3 -
Anyone else having a hard time switching between languages? :/
if(this.isActive and this.isVisible):
...
Java, JS and SQL at work, Python in my own projects...10 -
It took me way too long to understood what I wrote few weeks ago. After looking at the code for few minutes and looking at my db structure, I finally realized. I also instantly remembered that I wrote that "user is shown as ad" comment hoping I will not confuse myself in future. Apparently I failed.
Temporarily added next line of comment to help the future me.
Deep down I know that I should change function name itself to become clearer, more meaningful and easier to understand.
But writing that comment, making those screenshots, combining the 2 images in Pinta and writing this rant is faster than thinking the new name.
3 -
Todays story: conversation between me and my brain about a app that i have planned for a long while.
The application is just a huge, specyfic json editor/manager for a game that i like. The game uses json files to determine unit charactetistics. So in order to make modding easier i want to make a tool for that that is fancier and easier to use than a notepad.
Brain> Lets make a app that allows you to mod the game easier!
Me> Good idea. How would you want to make it?
Brain> Lets use C# cause you main that lang currently and you have experience with json parser lib.
Me> That is true. So what do you wanna implement first?
Brain> Oh. I have thought about it before! I want to implement: (10 000 features) and maybe few more later!
Me> It sounds like a infinity project, shouldnt you implement like 1 or 2 features at first and then jump to other ones?
Brain> Yes... but i dont wanna refactor those features latter so let just implement them all at once!
Me> Dammit brain! Let just implement just one feature now! Like a simple json editor. You can use inhieritance to reuse the code later.
Brain> Ok...
* Starts with that one feature but one day later starts coding 6 more *
* Cant publish the app yet, the code looks like shit, gui is unfinished because brain wanted only to test those 6 unfinished features without propely implementing them *
Me> Brain WTF! You said that you are going to focus on one feature at the time!
Brain> I got carried a bit...
Me> ...
Me> Ok. I understand. Let just refactor the code and clean the project out of those unfinished features.
Brain> No. I have a depression now...
Me> FUCK.
* 2 month passes by without any progress on ANY of my projects*
current day
Brain> I still have depression...
Me> Ok i dont care about that anymore! Tell me something that i dont know!
Brain> Oh I have good news as well!
Me> ???
Brain> What about the home server that is going to store all mods made by the users so they can share it? It would be a good practice with networking!
Me> * Gives up *1 -
You get home from work and one half of your brain goes, "Let's just code a little to catch up on the backlog", and the other half of your brain goes, "No way you psycho, we're off from work and we're not getting paid for this. I'm not helping!"
And that's why you're code sucks when you're not at work! -
Today morning my sales manager calls me and tells there is a bug in one of the integration module and he tells the client has called us yesterday pls come early to office today and fix it. I asked which end point they have issue, he replies I don't know. I don't know what is the bug where is the bug, but there is a bug when they send data to us, pls find and fix it before 11 am. The worst part of this is that integration module I never worked on and the person who developed it has left the company long before and there is no documentation. when I go to that folder I see many controllers and many end points. now how will I figure out the issue 😂 I don't even know the work flow of that integration. the bug reporter (my sales manager) don't even know at what end point what issue happened.1
-
I like these rants beginning with "fuck!!!"
It makes me feel unbelievable good!
It literrallycleans up my brain!!!!!!
Fuck!1 -
*leaning back in the story chair*
One night, a long time ago, I was playing computer games with my closest friends through the night. We would meet for a whole weekend extended through some holiday to excessively celebrate our collaborative and competitive gaming skills. In other words we would definitely kick our asses all the time. Laughing at each other for every kill we made and game we won. Crying for every kill received and game lost. A great fun that was.
Sleep level through the first 48 hours was around 0 hours. After some fresh air I thought it would be a very good idea to sit down, taking the time to eventually change all my accounts passwords including the password safe master password. Of course I also had to generate a new key file. You can't be too serious about security these days.
One additional 48 hours, including 13 hours of sleep, some good rounds Call of Duty, Counter Strike and Crashday plus an insane Star Wars Marathon in between later...
I woke up. A tiereing but fun weekend was over again. After I got the usual cereals for breakfast I set down to work on one of my theory magic decks. I opened the browser, navigated to the Web page and opened my password manager. I type in the password as usual.
Error: incorrect password.
I retry about 20 times. Each time getting more and more terrified.
WTF? Did I change my password or what?...
Fuck.
Ffuck fuck fuck FUCKK.
I've reset and now forgotten my master password. I completely lost memory of that moment. I'm screwed.
---
Disclaimer: sure it's in my brain, but it's still data right?
I remembered the situation but until today I can't remember which password I set.
Fun fact. I also could not remember the contents of episode 6 by the time we started the movie although I'd seen the movie about 10 - 15 times up to that point. Just brain afk. -
!rant
I just met one of my rockstar machine learning researchers from the Google Brain team and she said she liked what i am working on to use graph machine learning models for alternative credit scoring.
My ego is offff the roof today!! -
Machine learning is hard! Spent a whole day with Weka and it's Neural Networks. God my brain. There is too much to know before being really equipped to use this tool... especially from code.6
-
I’m interested to see if anyone has had a complete break from all social media and news for a while and what difference it made to them.
Been feeling increasingly tired and stressed recently and thinking of taking a month off, if I can. All SM and news seem to tell you is how the world is burning today. As much as this doesn’t help me, I still feel compelled to check stuff all the time. There’s absolutely no point as there is literally nothing I can do to make any difference.
So I’m thinking a month off might actually make me feel a bit better. I’m trying to think of downsides but I’m not sure there are any.13 -
I think I should sleep more...
I just took my mug and cleaned it in the bathroom sink..
Realised halfway through that it maybe wasn't the kitchen after all3 -
There are 3 incorrectly labeled fruit baskets (all 3 are incorrectly labeled). One basket has only ORANGES, another one has only APPLES, and the other has mixed ORANGES-APPLES. You can't see anything. You can only pull out 1 fruit from 1 of those baskets. With that, move each label to it's corresponding basket.2
-
Yesterday, my team had a react crash-course workshop.
It was like "you have to import a couple of libs, use 'em in different react elements you pull up and Tadaaaa! Magic is happening and your app works".
This workshop was the pinnacle of "intense".
I understood 60% of the stuff.
My team-mates about 15%.
So react is the front-end technology of choice after our architectural-team. The other teams have to use this the technology for their UIs.
This will be a lot of fun ^^1 -
Every few years I seem to have some sort of breakdown. It slowly builds over months, I get more tired, everything gets more difficult. I’m not able to concentrate, my memory is shit and I struggle with work. I can sit at work staring at a screen for hours not having a fucking clue how to do the job I’ve been doing for the last 14 years. The work builds up, I make more mistakes and this just makes it all worse.
It culminates with me feeling completely detached from reality and wishing I could just stop breathing.
Today was that day, pushed over the edge by my self obsessed, judgemental sister-in-law, who is clueless about when to keep her dumb-ass opinions to herself. Not her fault but was just the last straw!
Luckily I had a therapy session today, which helped a bit.
Just wish it could be done and will fuck off now for another few years and let me get my life back.
Hate this fucking shitty depression. Don’t need replies to this, just needed somewhere to vent.2 -
Update from the hackathon:
We decided to create a co-op game where you there is an agent on the field who has to reach an objective, while the operator guides him toward the exit on each level and opens/closes the remotely controlled doors for the agent. We want to add enemies that somehow will try to kill the agent, but we'll see what we manage to do. 🙄
Now I'm currently trying to sleep, but: Went to sleep at 2:15 and I have barely slept 2 fucking hours. Now it's 6:56. Still trying to sleep, but my brain is a cunt. 😲5 -
A brain whenever someone is working on a project:
Does the person I control have motivation? If so, I remember the person of another task so he/she/helicopter can't work on it.
Does the person I control have time?
If so, I set the person's motivation level to zero.
After this extremely accurate research I think we are better of by removing our brain.
BTW, I publish this research here under the MIT license.3 -
Sometimes I feel like my brain has a really fast CPU. But the RAM frequency really bottlenecks the whole system.
Any suggestions to upgrade the RAM?1 -
Two assignments due tomorrow and exams looming large. Now would be the perfect time to start learning new framework.1
-
I was expecting that my insomnia would be less annoying since I don't have to go out anymore for anything but food shopping.
Nope. This little bitch is still very annoying.
I swear if I get a headache tomorrow while staring at computer screen during work hours, I'm gonna shoot myself. (figuratively, not really)4 -
Just echoed /dev/null to .bashrc instead of .bash_history. I've been adding to that file since Ubuntu 16.04 came out.7
-
I've been doing alot in eclipse recently and the keyboard shortcut for the intellisense window is ctrl + space. Suddenly I was asked to update some documentation; 10 minutes it took me to figure out word doesn't have intellisense!
-
Who the fuck thought putting a motherfucking portable AC that is almost half my weight and that has rotating wheels on the bottom onto a fucking flimsy piece of angled cardboard was a fucking good idea?!!
That fukken thing drove over my toe, ripped several layers of skin off and sliced into it at the same time... I just couldn't open my mouth for probably 5 minutes because I would just be shouting and swearing like crazy... There was a trail of blood behind me as I somehow made my way to a first aid kit... I'm considering going to the hospital to get it checked but I thankfully managed to stop the bleeding with bandages....
Fucking hell....4 -
> uses two workstations
> Forgets to commit code on one before moving to the other
> Works on the other and pushes
> Brain does what it's great at and forgets how to reset to HEAD
> Brain convinces me the only way to handle the issue was to commit my half-working code and then pull
It was only 5 o'clock. What the fuck.
-
$ python
Python 3.6.1 (default, Feb 2018, 42:06:66)
[GCC 4.8.2] on linux
>>> print(None)
None
>>> print("The ideas in my head are always better")
The ideas in my head are always better -
"I swear I'm not a potato! I'm actually a capable dev.." I just have some serious self doubt and much less self confidence after this past year and feeling super mediocre due to lack of experience... And now that someone stepped up to help, my brain is just mush and I'm not doing half of what I know I can.... This sucks... 😞. Hope I get over myself soon...4
-
I'd love to start a pet project, but my brain refuses to come up with an idea. 😑
At least I'm used to it, seems like my creativity is not existent.14 -
Every time I read the abbreviation for Cold Fusion Markup Language, my brain translates it to this:
CFML -> C?! F*ck my life!! -
Tldr; Do not go to the bathroom when you are stuck on a problem.
Most of you will know that when you are stuck on a problem for a while, that it is worth to take a break to look at the problem with a fresh pair of eyes.
It's good advice and I have been doing it for years, however now I have developed a problem with it.....
I don't drink coffee or tea often so when I'm stuck I always take a bathroom break and most of the time an Idea will pop into my head how to solve the problem.
The problem now is that everytime when I am even a little bit stuck I need to go to the bathroom even when I just went.
It's really annoying because now I need to find something else to use as a break because my brain has associate being stuck with needing to go to the bathroom.
It's probably not a good idea to take a coffee break instead because if my brain starts to associate that I will be a coffee addict in no time.... Haha
Do any of you have a good suggestion to use as a break?8 -
On call with customer
Cstmr: What version is this?
Me: Can I see the build number plz?
Cstmr: Yeah
Me: *checks against internal doc*
Me: It's version X
Cstmr: Are you sure?
Me: Um...I'm pretty sure
Cstmr: I'm gonna check
Cstmr: *mutes me and spends 10mins finding public version of the doc*
Cstmr: Ah, it's update X
Me: *................* yes2 -
In these dark times, it's inspiring to see that a country as insignificant as Australia can demonstrate to us how things can always get worse.
By passing a law mandating that encryption must be broken, in secret (like the US's National Security Letters), at the demand of the Government, the two biggest parties have colluded to destroy Australia's tech sector.
This is the same government that has been whining endlessly about using Huawei LTE equipment in Australian infrastructure "because it might be secretly compromised". Now the same is true of Australian equipment, by law.
My favourite part of all this is how there will be firmware updates for devices sold in Australia, in order to comply with the new law. How well do you think those backdoors will be secured? How thoroughly do you expect them to be tested, given Australia's population of only 25 million?
How can any Australian company expect customers to trust them now?3 -
"Dim lighting is producing dimwits, It can change your brain structure .."
I'm fucked ... we all are.
https://fastcodesign.com/90159662/...5 -
Customer to me: "This should be right aligned, not left aligned. We need a fix on this 10 year old version, it's a blocker we can't do any work without it!"
Me to customer: "No. Not a blocker, minor change. We'll look at it next minor version."
Customer to boss: <repeat above>
Boss to me: "This is a blocker, check out the code and fix it today!"
FUUUUUUUUCK!
Minor stylistic changes are not goddamned fucking blockers!
I call this the "Jump; No; Boss Jump; Fuck!" effect.2 -
I already forgot what are the different sorting algorithms I learned last week. I already forgot sin, cos, tan, log, and some Math concepts in school. How not to forget these things easily? I could recall them once I see a sample and a brief explanation.4
-
Just imagine sicknesses spreading through internet.
I mean real human sicknesses. Of course your laptop can’t generate aids, but hey, did you ever have a song stuck in your head, repeated infinitely? Memes, viral videos, modern pop music, it looks just like perfect delivery mechanisms.
Human brain is flawed and buggy, vulnerable to countless things like optical illusions, uncanny valley, nlp and others. It’s obvious that there is some audiovisual input sequence that may have arbitrary side effects.
We are towards invention of some precisely formed pieces of information that’ll damage your brain forever, maybe drive you insane so there’ll be no way back. Delivered via viral media straight to your brain, destroying it irreversibly.
Be ready to face the future.2 -
Lesson of the day:
<If a section of your code keeps on bringing errors, just comment it. The code is likely to work./>4 -
My brain literally hurts after today. Client gave me a task to make some fucking masonry like layout, but he wanted to sort items manually and also he wanted to manually stack two items one above another. That was so fucking hard to make, I can't remember anything harded. Shit...
-
I'm on leave but my brain won't stop thinking about ways to refactor that one js module I was working on yesterday into a functional one.
The fuck, brain?? I'm doing you a favor here by letting you take a day off! -
Learnt Python Fundamentals while taking a dump...
It might have been due to being in a vulnerable state during that time but I am kind of enjoying the simpletons' language..
Must go to a Doctor for a brain examination... 🤨
I should be concerned1 -
Was reading the voice command rant and got curious, what do you guys think about the brain-machine-interface? Will it ever happen?
I would love it but also have some fears. Being able to control devices just by thought would be a huge time saver. But data mining is getting out of hand and that is scaring me. Companies would be able to analyze a lot.
Now they 'just' know what I am buying and which sites I am visiting.
If they know what I am thinking, Amazon would suggest me rubber gloves, body bags and whisky.7 -
As a developer with adhd, some days are just wasted and ends with the brain getting stack overflow from to much unorganized code and infinite callbacks 😂
$brain = new adhdBrain;
while($brain.energy > 0) {
$brain->checkSocialMedia();
$brain->work();
$brain->readNews();
$brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();
$brain.energy--;
}
public function work() {
$brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();
$brain->readNews();
$brain->code();
$brain->readEmail();
$brain.energy--;
}
public function getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice() {
$brain->readEmail();
$brain->angry++;
$brain.energy--;
}
public function readEmail() {
$brain->work();
$brain->readNews();
$brain.energy--;
}
public function readNews() {
$brain->work();
$brain->getAngryWithSoundsInTheOffice();
$brain.energy--;
} -
Total brain crash...
Was writing a word doc.
Got interrupted by a colleague
When i got back to the doc my brain instinctively told me: "You idiot, you can't write anything while debug is running"
Spent a whole 5 mins trying to find stop button... wait... this is word....
Is this a bug in my brain?1 -
Can't you just use your brain before coming to me for help??!!! The button says "use another account" so, yes, it is the correct thing to click if you want to USE ANOTHER ACCOUNT!!!
-
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.4 -
I work on a small team, and we recently got an artist on it.
The artist has lights on, but nobody is home syndrome and it is driving me nuts.
This guy took 10 iterations on a model where the main request was to fucking change the fucking UV mapping. Here is how that went in a nutshell:
1. Hey, the model is ok, the guy needs a cape with some bones in it. The cape needs to share the material, here is the material, cape already on it. We also need like 8 animations.
1a. No cape visible, animations half done, and done shitty.
2. Correct the animations and all the above points asap. Ok?
2a. Few more animations 1 half corrected wrong, wonky exports. Has cape
3. Again, same.
3a. I got the wrong corrections, cape doesn,t move. Uv wrong and seperate material. Aaaarrrggg
It litterally took 7 more of those loops and now we have it going in 1 material and 5 wonky but workable animations. And the next character half of the same shit happens all over again. Fuck me, fuck him. Fuck this, i hate artists. I made a fucking list what is so hard?!2 -
Working on a project, got stuck, thought to call it a night but nooo. Fucking brain decided to come up with a solution 0.0000001 ms right after I shut my eyes. Now I am way too tired to open my laptop back again and I am forced to use Facebook Graph API on my cellphone. FML
-
Well, I just finished resolving the problems with my Angular dependencies. It has been 3 days of trying to come up with the solution, and in the end, it was all a matter of version mismatch of three dependencies. Now I can (actually) get to work on my project.
-
I have course in university where I have to learn how bitcoin works and stuff.
Now you might say these concepts done there are "interesting". But when seen completely rational and compared to existing concepts, also invented after 1990... This is plain bullshit.2 -
So it finally sunk in that now is not the time to develop a commercial app. I never did it because reasons (too lazy to explain it all), but I always wanted to and this time I was determined to do it, but it dawned on me that now is not the time. Right now I have to do well in college and learn as much as I can.
Sadly that sweet sweet passive income will have to wait, but I'm kinda excited. I have basically freed myself from the feeling of guilt of making slow progress on my project. No more of that voice in the back of my head "but I should be developing the project, not this random thing". Now I'll basically just try my hand at a fuck ton of stuff, see what I like, maybe get an internship with a teacher of mine, who knows.2 -
Just tried to attach a reminder for tomorrow to the window object of my brain. Uff... Enough JS and JSON for this week.
Have a nice weekend with stable friday deploys, fellas! -
One of the key principles in Life is acceptance. I just wish some of the codes could understand this....
-
Hello Guys, I am in a dilemma whether I should update my Laptop to Windows 10 Fall Creator Update or not. Any honest opinions or recommendations from Devs?
(posed to Windows Users)7 -
Spent nearly 2 hours why the module/plugin on the system was not working. Delete the plugin. Get it from git. Nope. Restart all services, restart server. Still the same. No errors, nothing.
Realized that I had cloned the wrong git repository.
Fuck me.1 -
So yesterday evening when going to bed I wanted to sleep asap.
Therefore I used a 'tactic' called count to ten and then start over again. This is supposed to be relaxing so you stop thinking about other things an you get sleepy faster.
It usually works...
...But then my brain decided to write a program for said procedure in my mind. I actually started thinking:
int count=0;
While ( ! isAsleep() ){
think(count);
count++;
If( count == 10 ){
count = 0;
}
}
It didn't really help me falling asleep...1 -
Oracle database with PL/SQL, heavy use of triggers, and viewception.
Sure, let's take what's supposed to be a data store, embed shitloads of logic in it, make sure everything has side effects, and ensure nothing is ever straightforward.
Untracable, impossible to debug and overall a mess of epic proportions!2 -
Aaaaahhhhhcjdlsoxhwjskckshshckwkdjxjdfesc
Maybe I should quit my job already, drive for Uber for a while and self-study until I get into a coding bootcamp, and find a better job.1 -
I've always thought about it, knowing to program is innate. I've seen a lot of people with motivation but struggling to understand the logic behid. On the other hand for the good programmers this understanding comes naturally, like as if their brains already worked that way.3
-
Do you guys know brain.fm? Its superb making you more productive. I have found it yesterday and it is look promising to my productivity.2
-
I've been coding for almost all day when I decided to add in uploading of files... I need to take a break... ☕1
-
if (in_array($needle, $haystack)){
return true;
}else{
return false;
}
# yeah, I did it.... wtf brain!!1 -
Its midnight here...worked for almost 12 hours.... Spend the last 30 mins or so very frustrated and try to figure out why I am not getting desired response. Edited the code again and again... Soon I realize... I am editing local codes, never pushed to live. And Im testing live the whole time....WOW. I am relieved and ashamed at the same time.
-
Took me some days (considering I code every week or so since that when I open the IDE my motivation is nowhere to be seen) to realize that instead of writing "implement" to implement the methods of an interface I was writing "extend". I mentally facepalmed. Why are you so stupid sometimes brain
-
Does anyone else feel like their brains aren't working, like they cant focus on anything and this has been going on for more than a week now?
I know there are things to do. I have gone through huge pain created github issues for those things but my brain just seems to reject the idea that it can solve those issues. Just feels like playing a game or just killing time would be best!
Needless to say I hate it.
Happens/happening with others?2 -
The human brain (also animal brains, even ants) are incredibly complex. Each neuron is now supposedly its own processor. So a human brain is a complex network of billions of processors, not just threshold variables. This means to simulate an organic brain sufficiently it will take a huge computer system with billions of parallel processors. Now, I don't know if the sophistication of a computer processor is represented in each cell. So this may not be equivalent to billions of pentium cores for instance. However, it still presents a huge challenge for AI, as it exists now, to replicate. My thoughts are that AI that is silicon based will take a different approach that leverages how computers work. My guess is that current neural net models are not a good match for this unknown AI. Will it inherently exhibit pattern matching like an organic brain? Or will it be a different kind of consciousness altogether? Will we even realize it is self aware? Will my roomba plan to kill my pet for my attention? What are some other models being employed in AI research?3
-
Listening to a random song and memories to a band of a friend of mine I listened decades ago appear because the singer had a similar voice. Sometimes I love my brain.
-
Wednesdays. The day we get every single dev in a meeting room, and get everyone to explain what the fuck they are working on and what sort of issues they are having. Regardless of whether you'll ever see that site or not. Can't think of a bigger fucking waste of time.... ....meetings for the sake of meetings.... PISS OFF!!1
-
Studying. I decide to study for an exam and not only the "coding-zone" is here, but I have an infinite amount of new ideas. Yesterday I fixed some old bugs in the matter of 30min, did some piece of working code for chrome-like notifications in 10min (working, not pretty) and today passed the exam. Slept 2 hours though.
Brain is insane, what do you want to hear... -
So I apparently forgot to encrypt some parameters when sending error reports from our app to the server.
Which means the server tried to decrypt them but couldn´t and just threw an error...
No error logs for the app this week I guess. Yay!
I need "git reset --hard head~1" for my brain this weekend, to get rid of this week... -
Emailed the dutch and French MEP's about article 13 (eu stuff) and I got an answer from a French one, however, it landed in my spam folder and I deleted it before I finished processing what it said...2
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Skip to last block for actual question, everything else is about what i see and dont understand.
Machine learning and artificial intelligence is very interesting to me, ive watched a few videos but i cant manage to wrap my mind around it.
I see a few people starting out with projects that appear to be an easy start, but i of course have no idea, were they make a self-driving car in GTA (crashes alot, but still) or teach the program to complete levels in a game (snake, mario, run forrest)
I watched a few videos on Jabrils youtube channel that seemed to make alot of sense, until one point..
How does the AI know when it hit a wall?
How does it know where the walls are?
How does it measure the distance? How does it know when it has respawned?
I find it really, really confusing.
Can anyone of you geniuses suggest me anything to get into this? Id prefer if the goal was to make an AI using machine learning, that can complete some basic game, like in Jabrils videos.2 -
TFW you can’t figure out why your code is only running once, then realize that you forgot to put it in a loop.
(It’s in a try catch block so my brain interpreted that as a loop) -
My brain as stopped, I know I have done this in the past but I have 100% forgotten how I did it, I am creating a website where when I am singed in/connect to it, it enables more content, the content would be only hosted via my computer, when I did it in the past I did it behind a none upnp router but I have no idea who I did it, I am sure I did use a tool but I forget what.
Now I have no idea how to word it so unable search for something like it, why dose my brain do this two me.
Anyone know how to file deleted and forgotten files in brain OS 0.1.
Record, document and back up your ideas guys lol you might need it in the future. -
That feeling when you’re soooo tired that you’re brain comes up with shitty programming solutions and isint able to think outside the box nor make proper functioning code, and you make something actually work and you’re surprised that like wow, I thought it wouldn’t work, ok then I guess I still got some brain juice left.1
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"The curse of interruption addiction" said the headline. Yeah I'll go ahead and click that. Good read. Now back to work. For a few minutes...
http://bbc.com/capital/story/... -
Dear genie, make me take more notes. My brain is overconfident and thinks (hah) it can do/remember more than 1 thing at once. It's just a whole lotta "Hey, this is the solution to your problem! Also, look at that butterfly! By the way, I have no idea what the solution could be."4
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Happened today on the way home
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*Doesn't feel keys in usual pocket*
Shit, where are my keys?
*Checks other pockets*
Oh, I put them where I usually put my wallet.
...
Shit, where is my wallet? (I forgot it on my desk 🤦♂️) -
How to get through tough dev days?
Cursing, lots and lots of cursing. Cursing your boss, cursing at your boss, cursing at your (deserving) coworkers, and cursing life, the universe and whoever invented this fucking shit!1 -
If anyone of you have extra unused brain cells, I've just found THE perfect way to get rid of them. Just watch this. 1 episode will be more than enough: https://imdb.com/title/tt8369840/9
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When someone starts of the conversation with...do you know anything about iOS SDKs 😒😒😒😒? You want me to do your project? No Thank you!1
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You know when you're tired and want to go to bed, but your brain goes "Shame about that. I've got a million ideas that you need to try out now"
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I'm glad this time I didn't break my keyboard while reviewing my teammates code.
I'm becoming good at maintaining peace.1 -
You know you been thinking to much your your Friday ends with your head being you fucked you use yourself as the rubber duck to debug your code...2
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me: ah yess I need to sleep
brain:you should learn rust
me:SHUT UPP NO NOPE I AM SLEEEPING NOOOOPE
me:zzzz4 -
I could calculate the percentage of a value from a total set right from the top of my head. This includes large numbers like for example; finding the percentage of 1040 from 75000 = 1.377%, 344 from 5400 = 6.37% and so on...
But most times when I come across scenarios to apply such calculations on code I find myself googling for formulas and then I wonder; how am I able to come to a valid result when faced with similar challenge but could not recall or tell the formula my funny brain is deriving it's results from.
Maybe my brain isn't even using a formula. :/
So I guess because from pondering on how I arrived at results, I could tell I'm starting from an "if"...
Like:
If 25 of 100 = 25%
and 45 of 250 = 18%
Then 450 of 2400 will equal 18.7...%
Ask me what formula was used in the first "if" condition and I can't tell because that's common sense for me.2 -
Tmw you look at something and instantly get a new project idea.
This is why I have so many unfinished projects. -
Me: let's focus on this aws developer - associate course and learn something new..
My Brain: hey look, Prince Harry just got engaged.. Let's read all about UK's monarchy!!!1 -
There are five goofus mfs in my head that tell me terrible, silly solutions, and there's only 1 that is like "yeah maybe you should do that but I'm too lazy to think about it sorry 💁♂️". And then when I get to coding I'll have to delete like a whole block bc the other guys lead me off my pre-drawn plan wtf.
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How do you deal with information overflow? Like having to switch contexts quite often, or trying to learn a thousand things. Or remembering multiple things?7
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