Java, or: Carpal Tunnel Syndrome the programming language.

The disaster starts with the following sentence: "so marketing had an idea..."

To my fellow windows users:
Anybody else using the fullscreen startmenu?
I prefer it over the classic one, just using the entire screen to give me quickaccess to programs seems like the better way to me.

!dev
When you have to change your avatars skincolor in devrant because you haven't seen the sun in ages...

Two hits from the bong, fresh coffee and 8 hours of sleep.

Happy fucking christmas I hate being a christian.

I just love customers:
Customer: "ftps doesnt work! It says Port blocked you are using the wrong port! Fix this now!"
Me: "did you open the port and allow it through the firewall?"
C: " yeah ofc i opened the ports on the server! Do you think i'm stupid?"
M: "On the client too?"
C: "...."
C: " let me call back in 30min"

I propably mentioned it in an earlier rant but my father was a programmer, my grandfather was a programmer, and thus my son shall be too.

SAP shit. Bad documentation by design.

Just had a presentation of my application. There was an error my colleague knew about but didnt tell me because I should've asked him. After he went full shittalk mode on me because of a different bug.
Yeah that was totally my communication mistake. I also expect people I just shittalked with all my energy to ask nicely for the other bug i didnt mention.

I'm a 3rd generation developer in my family, my grandfather did it, my father did it, and my grandson will do it.

How to torture developers:
Step 1: put a cookiefactory next door.

I'm so full of myself that's not an issue. Confidence is key.

Yeah a week late but I got an update: I'm propably gonna get reduced to 20% work/pay. Yay.

So management decided that they wanted to reduce the infection chance by 50%. How? Half of the employees are gonna be working from home. I mean they are technically right.

Today is my last day at my current employer(a big german insurance company, boring af) and next monday I start at a medium sized company in an R&D position 😁

has anyone else here the same bad luck as me and has to deal with Oracle APEX? That shitfuckery should burn in the management hell it came from.

Every time I read some script kiddy insult here I just think: "you propably did the same thing 10 years ago, not JS but PHP, but it was the same level of shitfuckery and the C/C++ Devs looked the same way at you you look at NodeJS developers now."

Maintaining a legacy Apache x86 PHP application that is coded in a way that it requires windows as an operating system.

Oh wait thats my job

!dev
There is no greater embarrassment for me as a german then the Deutsche Bahn. There is no greater accumulation of incompetence than this bundle of dillitants.

If the files linecount could be your birthyear you propably are doing something wrong.

OS as weeddealers:
Windows has standard weed. Nothing special, but reliable.
Linux got a great selection, but you always gotta haggle with him for hours until something works out.
Mac sells oregano.

I'm gonna write a book: "Unity ECS is simple to learn and other lies you can tell yourself"

I tried once to convince an ex-python dev not to write 100 lines long shitty indented functions and seperate that stuff but no it works just fine why should I or anyone else be able to read it.

Dev goals on the 1st of January:
- learn vulkan
- get a good paying job
Dev goals on the 3rd of January:
- not getting drafted

!rant

Today my PCs 9 years of service to me has ended. We lived through 3 windows versions, many many linux distros and even more games. This computer gave me more happiness than any friend or girl. This computer supported me more than any of my parents.
Farewell old friend.

To the cunt who named himself "Uncaught ReferenceError: username is not defined":
Sincerely, fuck you.

If the package.json is longer than your actual code this maybe shouldnt be a package. Just saying.

Fucking fuck you STRATO. This cancer of a german hosting provider just should be shutdown for crimes against reason. Our website got infected by some shit (I'd like to not state why, there is only so much pressure my main arterie can handle) and now we are supposed to remove that file. Well they blocked all incoming and outgoing traffic to the server so we cannot connect via sftp, the only choice you got with STRATO. And they wont restore network access for the server unless we remove the file. No logical loop to see here citizen, please move on.

My employer has no work for me, so i'm sitting here, watching anime and scrolling devrant. For gods sake give me work.