Levels of programming....

and I stole it from r/ProgrammerHumor

src : https://reddit.com/r/...

You know it’s going to be a rough week when you stumble across an army of oversized ducks.

1. Unlimited money on bank account
2. Give me master degree
3. Disable remote desktop as “secure environment” at my workplace

I tried to imagine how a Dev Genie could look. 😅

1.) Complete knowledge and understanding of C++.

2.) Fast and accurate typing skills.

3.) Ability to sleep peacefully all night.

May the source be with you!!

☺😊😆😆😆

Daily dose of my Software Engineering class.

I'll just leave this here...

I'm not sure if I have made devEnemies so far, because nobody has pissed in my good-morning-office-coffee yet. But I think my tendeny to perfectionism in syntax and code structure may have been a PITA in the ass for some coworkers sometimes...

both sides...

This guy at an internship who only wanted to use anything Microsoft.

It was fine for his own use but he also wanted it for a high security prod environment and tried to push that through.

Luckily, the (very competent) team lead refused to use closed source stuff for high security environments.

"listen (team lead to that guy), it's not going to happen. We're simply not using software from a US based company which is closed source for high security stuff.
Why? The US is one of the biggest surveillance powers in this world, we just can't be sure what's in the software if it's US based. Now you can say that that's paranoid but whether or not it is, the surveillance part is a fact, deal with it. That you want to use it, fine, but NOT. IN. HIGH. SECURITY. PROD. (or prod at all really).

He continued to try and convert colleagues to windows and other Microsoft stuff for the rest of his internship.

Javascript.

With a background of predominantly C style languages and Lua, it's quite refreshing to be able to jump into Python and feel comfortable in it's usage. I've been running through some exercises (https://www.practicepython.org/) and am having a pretty jolly time with it.

Just wanted to share that I'm having a great day so far, and that I hope you do too! :D

Almost all of the web apps created by my company

START FUCKING USING GIT.

😅

My boss thinks that DevOps is the developers SSHing into a server as root and typing 'git pull'

If firearms were legal where I live I would have blown my brains out a long time ago.

New avatar pet for our Linux crew: The Majestic Penguin!

Big event. Massive traffic in production, so we were monitoring all night.

I was in a room with 2 devs of my team, a marketting girl, my boss and a designer... chilling.

Suddenly the production is down.

Boss: production is down, anyone can check?
Me: already on it
Dev1: it looks ok for me
Dev2: me too
Me: wait what? Impossible everything is down
Dev1: oh I refreshed the page it's not working
Me: don't stay on the page refreshing it like you are fucking monkeys. Give me useful intel or be quiet.
Market girl: is it working?
...
Guys is it working?
...
Hello?
Me: Not yet we are looking. Don't distract me.
Boss: client called us. They want it online now.
Dev1&2: he's looking
... 1 min later...
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Boss: is it working?
Me: SHUT THE FUCK FOR FUCKING ONE SECOND. ALL OF YOU, OUT NOW. YOU ARE FUCKING MONKEYS WHO CAN'T DO SHIT. IF YOU CAN'T HELP JUST SHUT YOUR DAMN SHITHOLE. DEVS, LOOK WITH ME. MARKET GIRL PREPARE A FUCKING POST-MORTEM MAIL. BOSS GET THE CLIENT ON THE PHONE AND STALE. DO. YOUR. FUCKING. JOBS.

That's how I ended up screaming at everyone... the rest of the night went in complete silence and I fixed the issue 2min after the got quiet or busy.

Winner EVERY time?! This could be the best arcade machine for devs!

Found this at my local movie theater.

Your code so bad even your rubber duck won't listen to that nonsense.

Your code is like your face! Looking at it often it makes me laugh... But sometimes I just want to punch the shit out of it!

"Write drunk; edit sober." - Ernest Hemingway

Selected to be a part of the GitHub Campus Expert Training Program.

Finally 😍😍

Yes Linus Torvalds is an asshole and the world is better because of it.

In short Linus's acid takes on code quality over developer fee fee's might be one of the things that has made the Linux kernel and the GNU/Linux project such a long lasting open source success and in my opinion the risk of him falling for all this "let's be nice and non offensive" bs trend may impact negatively on code quality.

Being an asshole has it's downsides and it's not always the best response, I'll give you that, but personally I think most of us who are viewed as assholes are seen like that because we put quality over convenience, facts before feelings and dedication over mediocrity; it is not because we hate you, it's because we measure ourselves with the same stick.

It depends on one's character, but when you've been toughened up because of bullying(I don't doubt many devs have been since being a nerd has never been hip) or life in general, you learn to stop whining & pick yourself up and you expect everyone to be competitive and competent as you are and it gets frustrating to manage people who don't fulfill your expectations.

Pros: You get shit done and you do it well.
Cons: People won't like you and you don't tolerate failure (much less mediocrity).

Yes Linus is an asshole, my coach was an asshole, some of my best teacher's have been assholes, I had friends who were assholes, heck I'm an asshole!

But I thank them because they made me better than I was, just as people have thanked me for being the right amount of asshole.

A warm thank you and fuck you Linus, keep being the asshole we need.

I think it was on the final level of Doom.

Everytime

When server feels down

Are you for real Guido/python devs?! Can we stop shoving politics into non issues just to virtue signal please?

What the fuck is next?! Oh you can't kill a process you politely put it to sleep, you can't call that machine a server anymore it might get offended now it's called a service caring electrical appliance, hey what about removing python all together after all python could be misconstrued as phallic and drive women away; I know! Let's call it Santa/elves instead of master/slave!

Fuck off! And what's that of you being akward saying server/slave terminology around black people? That's insanely racist! Who the fuck thinks all black people are descendants of slaves? Why the fuck are you racist enough to imply they can't do their job properly because (unlike you) they would be uncomfortable, you low expectations racist fuck!

You just fucked with your open source base and I really don't wanna see python going woke and then broke.

https://github.com/python/cpython/...