Expert: "The core problem with passwords is that they reside on a server."

I suppose that's true, but only if you're a complete moron. Store a hash of a password, and users can authenticate against it with a password that doesn't get logged. This is technology that's been around for over fifty years. If you're storing passwords on a server, you deserve whatever trouble you get.

So fuck this. Fucking fuckers fuck this.

We've been having massive performance issues with a nested drag and drop component. I built this abomination about a year ago and had to rush through it due to my colleague not thinking the change was necessary, even though the previous revision was even worse. It's been going strong for a while, but since a month ago it has started to perform badly. Makes sense, because it was hacked together, and wasn't made for the amount of data that it's handling now.

So the other day I presented the issue to my colleague, telling him exactly what the problem was, and that we'll have to rewrite quite a bunch of the code to get it working. Today when I bring it up again he is really negative towards the changes because they are so big, and don't really want me to do them. He is, however, super stressed about the performance issues and starts digging around in the code himself. Code that he's never touched, don't understand how it works, and has said he's not interested in learning about. He even says he sucks at frontend and Vue himself. So we sit there from morning to lunch, digging through the code together (I had to do it as well because he came nowhere). And what do you think the conclusion was? The same thing I told him a few days ago.

So what now then? He still don't want me to do the changes, but still wants it solved! How the fuck is that supposed to happen?!?

Worst part is that we're the only two developers in the company, and our boss has little IT experience. That puts me and my colleague at the same hierarchical level, so all decisions has to be cool with the both of us.

So fuck this. Fucking fuckers fuck this.

Me: *updates ram to 16 gigs
Me: How do you feel about that chrome?
Chrome: Hold my beer ...

Also, anyone face any issues with laggy vs code and hyper?

You know what really grinds my gears? When new employees start shouting out suggestions of what feature we should do.. and how stupid this/that thing now.. or how slow that page is.. or how there's a bug somewhere.

WHAT WOULD'VE WE DONE WITHOUT YOUR OPINION?! thank you so much!!!

+10 points if their job has nothing to do with product or development

SHUT. THE. FUCK. UP
please!!!

Dear me,

Please, stop binging video games at 3 am.

Thank you.

Downsides of working from home: No team, communication is just horrible, endless calls that move nowhere

Upsides of working from home: Whiskey

Learnt the hard way

NEVER WRITE THE UI BEFORE WRITING THE BUSINESS LOGIC

Any fool can write code that a computer can understand. Good programmers write code that humans can understand.

😮 Aparently double tapping a rant does a ++.

Try it if you are on mobile! 📱

Every Programmer after shifting from C++ to Python

The name of the inventor of the Li-Ion battery is John Goodenough and I think it’s beautiful. His name truly resembles the exact concept of what a lithium rechargeable battery really is.

Exiting nano:
Pro: ctrl+O, ctrl+X
Beginner: ctrl+X, Y

Alright lads. Contest time.

How many times have you been asked to
1) Hack someone's Facebook account
2) Fix a laptop or wifi'

My record is like 10

UI designers! Please understand that whilst animations are pretty, people don't want their webpages, apps and game UI elements jumping around when they're trying to interact with a button.

So Firefox for Android recently received an update that, stripping out 90% of the browser's functionality aside, has two glaring issues:

1_ about:config got disabled, so any options that, say, scaled webpages to not look like they're made of Duplo are now totally ignored. Enjoy your toddler websites!

2_ The search bar auto-hides. On every scroll. It changes the viewport size when it hides, making webpages frantically jump around and change CSS rules. There's no option to turn off auto-hiding. Twitter already jumps around like a rabbit on the strongest crack carrots can buy, and they somehow made it WORSE.

F%^&

!rant
just wanted to share with you guys,
instead of spending 1hr writing shitty code to fix a bug quickly, i just spent tha last 10 fucking hours and finally fixed it

I'M FUCKING PROUD OF MY CODE, IT BELONGS TO A MUSEUM

If my stomach start rumbling in the middle of the next zoom meeting, I'm prepared to commit Seppuku on zoom.

Can't take being more embarrassed. 😒

/jk

When your bugfix destroys everything

Don't know if it's up here, found it on r/ProgrammerHumor and thought it deserved to be shared :)

Someone on the IP 127.0.0.1 has been creating a lot of bugs in my code, please beware of you notice any connections from that address.

well, sorry Dave

I quit my job today.
It was odd and uncomfortable and emotional and I'm gonna miss many of the nice people here but ultimately my boss was like "I always knew a bright mind like yours would only be here temporarily" 🥺😍 I'm starting somewhere cooler soon and I'm so excited!

Wanna mess with users? Take

“OK” and “Cancel”.

You know what looks visually the same but means the opposite?

“NO” and “Confirm”.

Deploy that little ui update overnight and watch the world burn.