Talking to my angry girlfriend is the hardest debugging process.
I can't even find out what went wrong

+1 if you like my new laptop skin...

I have been getting a lot of angry glances in meetings since my latest laptop sticker :D

Customer: IT is completely useless! I’m getting PORN ADS on my work computer!? This is ridiculous!!!

Friend: Oh that’s not good, perhaps your computer has a virus of some sort let me take a look!

Friend takes a look and sees that the porn ads were all provided by google ad service, they weren’t related to a virus.

Friend: so, you don’t have a virus, but so that you know google gathers metrics on the sites you visit so that it can target ads at you better. Looks like that’s what’s happening here.

Customer: .............

I met one of my friend from my childhood he asked me what I do for a living.

I told him : "I am a full stack developer"

He : What does that mean? What you have to do in office?

Me: I write code for websites in very simple words.

He: Like facebook?

Me: yes, exactly.

He: So you work for windows?

Me: What makes you think that?

He: Aren't websites comes with the computer?

Me: I am so unfortunate to meet you.

Father bought a PC in 1997. Back then very few had it. I learned doing things like accessing the internet and sending emails, among others. I remember having added age on websites to be allowed to sign up at times :P My sisters used to play games on it sometimes. The first few ones we had were Tomb Raider: The Last Revelation, Tomb Raider Chronicles, American McGee's Alice(Which caused us to upgrade the PC xD)... And some others.

I have a memory of this pseudo-3D-looking game where you move in a maze and try answering questions. I want to remember its name, but I cannot :(

We literally have video evidence of me liking the computer as a child, yet my parents either say I'm addicted or deny I've ever liked it before. Not only that, but continuously limiting my time with the PC hasn't been a literal obstacle in my way of trying to do things in their opinion. Funny how my parents think the last few years I've been my worst when they've hurt me in those years so much that our relationship is guaranteed not working out. There were doubts in my head before, but now it's cemented and there is no way of going back. Father, for example, tells me it's too late to do anything with a PC now(As well as how I've been unable to use the PC. He looks at these pro players' footage in some TV show and he's like, „You've been unable to use your hobbies“, as if they have never ever screamed at me for perceived gaming and not actually cared to check), and I need to look for a „real“ job.

Sorry. I went to bed at 2:00 in the morning. Feel like a zombie because of ongoing weirdly insufficient sleep, even though I sleep kinda more than normal. Even when I took Melatonine for that it didn't help at all.

Childhood was where beating began. I was about 6/7. Right when I entered school. The first school that I attended was a private one and supposedly for „Wunderkinds“, while in reality I haven't seen a SINGLE teacher or psychologist approve of it, their argument being that children were basically drowned in work that wasn't age-appropriate(I don't mean anything bad. Just that teaching about Galaxies and all in first grade isn't the brightest idea). There was always a mountain of homework to do and as opposed to some other countries, we had to do it on a day to day basis. We didn't have a week-long deadline. I was predictably not keeping up with it as I could have, had it been a normal amount, so my parents decided I didn't want to study and began their methods of getting me to „study“. I have yet to see a person able to keep up with that school's tempo, no matter the age.

This place was also where I got bullied. I felt I had nowhere to be: At home, the parents' situation, at school, the bully. I never really went outside to play with other children, so I missed that part of childhood.

After the second year of school I was transferred to an advanced German school, called like that because they taught German and not English there. I also got to learn a bit of Russian before they removed it from school. In that period I used to attend ballet. But for less than a year. And piano, which I remember having attended for quite a long while, some years, if my memory isn't fried. I quit it because of it having been forced on me. Last piece I ever played fully was Beethoven's Marmotte.

In this school I was once again the outcast of the class. I had some people to interact with. All of those interactions lasted a few years at most. Then, because of a part of my class choosing me as a laughing-stock N2 and another girl as the N1, I found my best friend, who I still have today. She's the only friend I have nearby.

Most of the time I hated myself. Even today I struggle with that sometimes.

After that came university. This us where I got something like a friend circle at last. But it still didn't last. I got in a relationship with one of the guys, but I was just attracted. There was another I couldn't dare getting close to. Turns out he also had something for me. Then he disappeared from our lives and a year after, I still cannot forget the person. If I want to, I have to deprive myself of my own personality. Not a thing I'm willing to give up. Then I broke up with the guy I was in a relationship with and completely disappeared from the friendship circle. To be honest, I had reasons to. They refused to even try to look for the guy and they called him a friend for years. Sometimes parents hitting me can occur even today, but if I REALLY piss them off.

Now I'm here and oh, my God, I'm officially am aunt now! My sister gave birth to a daughter this morning... She's in Berlin with mother and both she and the child are doing great. I just hope she manages to be a good mother.

Close relative: Hey, what is my gmail password?
Me: I have no idea.
Him: but you created the gmail account for me a couple years ago.
Me: Yeah, I helped you to create it and I warned you to remember your password.
Him: didn’t you write it down somewhere?
Me: no, I didn’t, you fucking useless piece of shit. I am not your fucking password manager.

So my friend has two-step authentication for his smartphone.

Now he is not able to find his phone.

So, he tried to find his phone by logging into his google account via Android Device Manager.

Now, it is asking for the authentication pin which is in his phone.😂

He just got deadlocked.

Got my new workstation.
Isn't it a beauty?

Rocking a Pentium II 366 MHz processor.
6 GB HDD.
64 MB SDRAM.
1 minute of battery life.
Resolution up to SXGA (1280x1024)
Removable CD-Rom drive.
1 USB port (we like to use dongles, right?)

Also it has state of the art security:
- No webcam
- No Mic
- Removable WiFi
- I forgot the password

And best of all:
It as a nipple to play with!!

I found a bug in my sleep...what has programming done to me !?

My experience with Adobe...
(I recently moved to Canada)

Me: I want to give you money. (Tries to pay with Canadian card)

Adobe: Sorry, you have a US account, you must use a US card.

Me: Okay, what are my options to pay with my Canadian card?

Adobe: We have to delete your US account and create a Canadian one.

Me: Okay... Why can't you just switch the country from US to Canada on my account?

Adobe: *bullcrap response*

Me: Okay, delete it and transfer everything.

*Kicks me out of the chat.
*I log back in. Try to reconnect to customer service chat.

Adobe: AdobeID unable to participate in chat.

*I'm 30 minutes into this ordeal

Me: (to myself) I could literally torrent this program in 5 minutes 🤔

Lesson: if a company wants people to not torrent their software make it easier for a willing fucking customer to buy your software!

Since the chat doesn't work anymore, I called customer service and am still on hold.... 😤😤😤

Why does the internet have borders?

"Oh, you're a developer? Then you cannot fix my PC", said no relative ever.

Person: *glances at my grades*

Me: Here we go again.

Person: I thought you were smart. How did you manage to get a C?!

It was a C (programming language) quiz. 🙄

My gf was a QA. I told her to read my last devrant story about our colleague from the previous company.

Her response was "you misspelled 'taught' twice".

😢

I told my team I was going to add this to our style guide

Had to explain a developer from a wordpress dev agency where to find the wp-config.php file and what it does/what the values do.

This person has been doing this for years.

I looked at this config file for nearly the first time in my life.

I literally had to explain her which variables stood for/did/meant what.

I am fucking done with today.

I WILL NOT USE `rm -r` EVER AGAIN IN MY LIFE.

* cries in the corner *

My family knows me so well.

#AWebDevChristmas

[This makes me sound really bad at first, please read the whole thing]

Back when I first started freelancing I worked for a client who ran a game server hosting company. My job was to improve their system for updating game servers. This was one of my first clients and I didn't dare to question the fact that he was getting me to work on the production environment as they didn't have a development one setup. I came to regret that decision when out of no where during the first test, files just start deleting. I panicked as one would and tried to stop the webserver it was running on but oh no, he hasn't given me access to any of that. I thought well shit, I might as well see where I fucked up since it was midnight for him and I wasn't able to get a hold of him. I looked at every single line hundreds of times trying to see why it would have started deleting files. I found no cause. Exhausted, (This was 6am by this point) I pretty much passed out. I woke up around 5 hours later with my face on my keyboard (I know you've all done that) only to see a good 30 messages from the client screaming at me. It turns out that during that time every single client's game server had been deleted. Before responding and begging for forgiveness, I decided to take another crack at finding the root of the problem. It wasn't my fault. I had found the cause! It turns out a previous programmer had a script that would run "rm -rf" + (insert file name here) on the old server files, only he had fucked up the line and it would run "rm -rf /". I have never felt more relieved in my life. This script had been disabled by the original programmer but the client had set it to run again so that I could remake the system. Now, I was never told about this specific script as it was for a game they didn't host anymore.
I realise this is getting very long so I'll speed it up a bit.
He didn't want to take the blame and said I added the code and it was all my fault. He told me I could be on live chat support for 3 months at his company or pay $10,000. Out of all of this I had at least made sure to document what I was doing and backup every single file before I touched them which managed to save my ass when it came to him threatening legal action. I showed him my proof which resulted in him trying to guilt trip me to work for him for free as he had lost about 80% of his clients. By this point I had been abused constantly for 4 weeks by this son of a bitch. As I was underage he had said that if we went to court he'd take my parents house and make them live on the street. So how does one respond? A simple "Fuck off you cunt" and a block.

That was over 8 years ago and I haven't heard from him since.

If you've made it this far, congrats, you deserve a cookie!

Them: "Our phones are down."

Me: "I'm sorry to hear that. Have you notified your provider?"

Them: "My provider?"

Me: "...You haven't been our VoIP client for about a year and a half now."

Teaching my girlfriend how to program 😊☺️

me: Better check my phone for texts from friends
me: *checks phone*
me: Better get some friends
* Few seconds later *
me: Better go back to terminal

Thanks, I am happy to be sharing my payment details with your company.

ATTACHED TO THE LOGIN DETAILS YOU EMAILED ME!

So i was working with a small company which were developing software for insurance sector. It was decided then that there should be an app for windows phone community and i was hired to that job.

It took me almost a month to finish the job. Please keep in mind that project was huge and already developed for android counterpart and was a hit in market. This was a chance given to me to prove myself and i proved it.

First month was fantastic for the company as software the company made was not available for windows phone. Price has been set for the software was higher in those time. Almost $15.

Excited by the success i added some more features which were not available on android counter part.

But price was very high. Even i asked management to drop the price because there were less windows phone user but no body listened.

Result : in a year app has made roughly 5000 download in which only 200 paid the actual price. Company asked me to take down the app from store. I was blamed for my over confidence in adding features that this made app less usable. They did not say a word to business managment team. I was fired.

Rough, cruel world.

6 month ago i published my app for same purpose with same feature set and different UI. And made it free. Completely free. Added a link to pay developer $0.5 or Rs 30.

Result: i have now 10 thousands plus download in last 4 month in which almost 3000 users have donated already.

Now i have my resource and my confidence and making an android app for same purpose.

This is my story and is not fake, i am 28 years old. If you think you can, you can.

Amen.

*sees that the high voltage generator kit got delivered today*
Cool, let's build this thing and integrate it into my old bugzapper! Mosquitos beware 😈

*starts building the kit, all is going very well*
Oh wow, isn't it Monday? But it's taking only 15 minutes of soldering and everything goes super smooth.. what divine power is giving me such good luck?

Alright, last thing, the transformer and then this circuit is done!!!

*solders in the transformer without realizing that the wires are coated, and the solder isn't protruding through*
Fuck. Time to desolder this shit and blast the wires with my lighter to flash that coating right off!

*engages solder pump and solder goes off extremely easily, because it only adhered to the pad*
*takes off transformer*
Me: "Nnngh..!!! Get off you piece of junk!!!"
Transformer: "Hmph!! I will stay in here no matter what!"
Me: "Get the fuck off already!!! 😡"
Transformer: *leads break off* "Alright, but these leads stay here!!!"
Me: "MotherFUCKER!!!"

Yep, it's Monday after all.

Everyone should drop support for Internet explorer and Safari.

Change my mind.

My reaction seeing my own App code after 4 years !

My algorithms professor uses safari on Windows as his main browser

I hope my boss dies tonight. I will fuck his wife and fill his grave with soil myself.

Goodbye! (let's hope I didn't forget anything in my backup)

And here we go again.

Found at my university.
I bet it won’t pay anything during the dev phase, and then “fail” and you get nothing.

FFS is pisses me off!
Oh and of cause an nda.

Built my own Amazon Echo with a raspberry pi because they aren't available in my country. Decided to pick up an official Echo Dot while in America but I'm too proud of my little project to tear it down and use the official thing haha

Hate to admit it but: I went back to Windows on my dev machine after running Linux as main OS for like 10 years. I came to the point where I'm tired of driver problems and broken bootloaders and just want things to work...

So there's a recent rant, about making a website work for IE.

I get it, you don't want to make it work for IE because you don't use IE.

But get this: you're not doing the site FOR YOU. You're doing it for the intended user, which is a lot of users that use all kinds of shit. If you don't want to do that, get the fuck out of web development, or from development overall. It's not for you.

I remember when I started my career, I had to make a web app that was intended to be used by, say, 100 people. As a developer I had the best tools for that - cool new 19" monitors, good GPU able to spit out a humongous resolution, and I designed that portal to look great. You know what my superior did then? He took away my 19" monitor and gave me a 14" monitor instead, saying that I became a spoiled brat that totally ignored the customer. I was angry at that, but immediately realized that he was completely right.

It doesn't matter! that it works on your machine. Who the fuck cares about your machine?

Does the software work for the intended user? If not, then you're a shitty developer.

I take 1 day off from work, i come back finding my chair replaced by a junky one... I mean really??? f*ck this!

I saw someone handle redirect on every anchor link on server side. Yes, they handle onclick on serverside and then decide where to redirect. No they don’t use href or any sort that’s stated on the HTML. And this guy is my senior.

Rate my setup
Work on the left
Gaming on the right

Someone stole my mouse when moving office... Dude the things on MY DESK are mine, you can't just take people's stuff and make it yours

Now I am using your crappy mouse... 😑

So I was studying for a test using a quizlet my social studies teacher made, and I came across this gem. 99% sure my social studies teacher didn't read what it said/understand what it means.

One step through the door my wife whips around, a look so disgusted she barely seems human. "What's that smell?" she cries. "It's you! You smell like...like bad code!"

Indeed, I am covered with the scent of the forbidden love child of a man who read half a chapter on if-then statements and then pushed out into the world, earthworm-like, a mangled misshapened gelatinous mass that my employer gave the title of line-of-business application purely out of pity.

For more days than I'd like to count I have been porting a ColdFusion 5 application to .NET. Initially written in 2000 and last touched in 2006, it has a data architecture comparable to Dresden after the second world war. It features a table solely comprised of seven columns of IDs so that joins can be made between other tables lacking a common key. Columns that should be contained within a single table spread out among multiple tables. Single columns containing data that should be multiple columns (with handy flags to separate the subsets). A view with 14 joins that playfully displays unintended results. And so much more spread out over almost 200 stored procedures, views, triggers, and tables on the SQL server, and dozens of additional ADO-like SQL statements within the ColdFusion itself. Fortunately, the application overcomes these issues by having absolutely no data validation while allowing nulls pretty much everywhere.

When I am done this will be a very nice ASP.NET MVC app with at least 150 less stored procs, views, and tables. Auto-generated duplicate entries will be a thing of the past. Pop-up windows that inexplicably refresh the underlying screen to display a different part of the program than the one the user wants will be eliminated. And a UI based on the colors of a Rubik's Cube with usability that Mr. Rubik would find challenging will disappear with only the trauma of using it left behind.

Sadly, this is not my worse legacy code experience. Just the most recent. Just the most recent stench added to a lifetime of bathing in code rot.

!rant I read some documentation about Amazon, "save all the data in my butt".
- me laughing
* I installed the extension that replaces all the instances of" the cloud " by "my butt". I'm easily entertained ;p

My life is too short to remove USB safely

it really grinds my gears when people name their files with spaces in them 😰

Who the fuck told my coworkers I'm their boss when our boss is on vacation?

Wtf, I don't wanna be anyone's boss, no one should want me as such...
I would certainly micromanage the shit out of everyone and make their lives a living hell.

My dad has been using android for about 4-5 years now. I just showed him how the notification drop down works.

"Today my girlfriend gifted me new words"
"hurrah, new things to learn"
"Now I'm waiting for the next new words, I hope they will be as exciting as the last ones"

You couldn't be more right.

Ich liebe dich so sehr~ <3

My setup

Me: "I really love cooking, it's my hobby"
They: "Would you cook for fifty people, sometimes"
Me:"... maybee"
*hired*

Bought a 27" 1080p monitor and decided to use my old monitor besides it in portrait mode. This feels so good, portrait monitor's good for reading tutorials or for writing code. My coolest setup so far!

I have a whatsapp group with my friends, none of which are techies. A while ago one of them was looking for a phone to buy, so he started looking at models, specs and all that, but got pretty confused and asked a pretty well-informed question to the group:

"Guys, what is that quad core thing?
And what is a RAM? Is it something like the processor of the phone or what? "

OK, pretty typical stuff up until this point. The guy knows nothing about this sort of things, I wouldn't criticize him or insult him or anything like that. No, that's not the problem. The problem is the person that responded to him. This... This melted my brain so much I will never forget:

"Don't worry about that, you only have to look at how many gigahertz does the processor run at. Don't worry about the number of cores or ram. The GHz are the result of the amount of ram and cores, so the more the gigahertz, the better the phone."

PD: "Also take a look at how many megapixels does the camera have if you want to take photos".

Some people just talk out of their ass and pretend like they're experts on any topic they've read about for 5 minutes on the Internet

My wifi was hacked two times last year, so I decided to change the factory credentials. Some months ago a tree fell on top of the cables on the street, cutting my internet connection. I call the ISP and when they get here they say I have no right for costumer support as I have altered my own connection.
WHAT. THE. FUCK
I had to revert the credentials to admin/admin in order get my internet back. These ISPs live in the fucking stone age. How the fuck do they force me to fucking have my router exposed with a fucking "admin/admin".
Fuck them.
I hope some day we have a cable revolution and finally have some rights over the networks we pay for with both tax money and excesive fees with low fucking speeds. Fuck them. Really.

Fighting against management is my daily struggle.
I reject the notion that more management, meetings and reports makes me work faster.
Want it done in time?
Stop wasting my time and interrupting me when I'm deep in complex thought. Let me do what's necessary and put in the hours if I have the energy and time.
But you damn better pay me for it.
I do not care for your praise, when I make the impossible happen time and again in days that would take months.
I expect your praise in the form of higher numbers going into my account.

Girlfriend tells me she probably saved a life at work in hospital the other day (she's a physiotherapist).

She asked me how my day was.

Most of it was hunting a typo - for a holiday booking website.

My code just broke during a presentation and I wasn't there to fix it. My CS professor got embarrassed in front of a bunch of future students.

I had made a last-minute change right before going on vacation... Never doing that again!

Another fucking rant about my fucking goldfish brain.

At meetings, I usually note down things I need to fix, to do on the sticky note pad that comes with the OS, currently Mint.

I sat at my desk.
Looked at my notes.
Decided to properly put them as tasks on trello.
I copied all notes, planning to paste it on a trello card quickly.
Then I can just work on trello and separate into different tasks.
Connection issue.
Ethernet said connected but websites are not showing up.
Maybe restart will fix since I haven't opened any app and started working anyway.
Reboot.
Internet works.
Yayyy.
Trello showed up.
Yayyy.
oooh
f
u
c
k.

fuck.
fuck.

My Perfect Day : Assumption

Woke up at 6. Went for morning walk or do yoga or some sort of stuff.

Came back at 7. Went for daily routine, like bathing and all.

Went to prepare breakfast at 7:45. Prepared some eggs and bread and coffee.

It is 8:15 now. Reading news papers or watching tv and doing breakfast.

At 9 check mails and prepare some stuff.

At 9: 30 went for office. Reached office 5 minute before 10, safe and sound.

Came back at 7 by evening. Did some rest. Prepare dine till 9. Take a bath. Complete the dine.

At 10:30 ready to sleep.

Actual Scenario :

Woke up at 8:30. No time for yoga or morning walk. No time for preparing breakfast as well. Went straight to bathroom. Came back in 20 minutes. Made a cup of coffee. No time for newspaper or tv.

Feeling lazy and tired already. At 9:10 went for office. Before reaching office stopped at fast food joints. buy some junk food. Eat them. Got traffic jam and reached office late.

Started working but feeling lazy. Boss asked twice about the project status and i am unable to think a single line of code.

However, days passed. Boss scolded me. I promised him to finish the work after reaching home.

Reached home at 7:30. Late for no reason. Went straight to bed. Sleeps a hour. But took 20 minutes to leave bed.

Started working on projects i did not complete in the office.

Time fly and it is already 1 in morning. No dinner. Tired as fuck but hungry as well. So made some eggs and eat. Wrapped the task but it is 3:30 in morning and i jumped to bed for sleep.

Loop.

In a moment of boredom I decided to pen test the new system I've been writing on the live server. Ran sqlmap but forgot to proxy my connection.

DDOS protection kicked in and blocked the entire offices connection to the server, had to drive home quickly to use my home internet to un-blacklist my office ip. 😂

Bought new phone. Installed all necessary apps. Installed devrant last.

Forgot devrant password. Decide to skip login, will do it later. Press Skip.

Eyes immediately experience fire burn with the intensity of demon sulfur smoke from light theme. Instant headache.

Find forgot password link with the quickness. Reset password, relieved. Login.

Eyes immediately experience fire burn with the intensity of demon sulfur smoke from light theme.

APPARENTLY MY THEME PREFERENCE IS STORED IN PHONE'S LOCAL STORAGE. THANK YOU FOR THE HEADACHE DEVRANT.

Late night coding with my kitten 🙂

I hate that fucking feeling, when I am 9001% certain that the bug is caused by the shitty framework because I tested every detail and could exclude my code as the culprit, but later realize it was in fact myself, because I overlooked one pissing line.
Holy fuck.

Me: "I've got an exam tomorrow morning, I should try to go to sleep early tonight".

22:00 - Get into bed and put on audiobook
23:00 - "Alright I'm getting sleepy now, I should fall asleep soon :)"
00:00 - "Must be soon now"
01:00 - "Maybe in 15 minutes"
02:00 - "Still got 6 hours to sleep, plenty of time"
03:00 - "My body is tired, my mind is not"
04:00 - "RIP"

It's safe to say that my sleep rhythm is utterly fucked.

I've always just done CSS on my own by hand for every project because I thought it would improve my skills over time but now I've discovered Bulma with it's sass variables and responsiveness and things are just so pretty now, I never want to go back

So I was procrastinating on my side project, then somehow started a new one but this time with three partners, now I procrastinate on this new project by working on my side project.

GREAT

My typical development workflow:

$ ssh user@devserver
$ cd /appdir
$ git clone/pull
$ vim file
$ vim another file
$ tail -f /var/log/applog
$ vim file
$ git commit -am 'fixed the glitch'
$ git push origin dev
^D

My feature branch is not yours! Stop pushing unrelated things! GO AWAY.

I fucking love my job!

My most intense day as a dev was when we had a product announcement day (with 70 engineers from dozens of companies invited) and the night before the app still didn't run all of the way through.

My team and I worked all night and had our first successful run-through at 10am when the announcement presentation and demo was at 1pm. All I can say is that I didn't breath when that demo was running live... But it worked flawlessly.

After that experience I realized that I had enough of non-tech management setting unrealistic deadlines, quit that job, and am now helping to build a startup. It has been so much more fulfilling and now I set the deadlines. 😎

Who else feels that way ?

my friend: how can i make windows better?

me: install linux

is it me or everyone seems to like my name :/

I wish my clients would stop reporting "bugs" in my app that are legitimate results calculated from crap feed to it by their upstream systems.

Just because my app is easy to use it's the first place that they find out that their ecosystem is fundamentally broken.

GIGO, people.

Fucking School, when I'm home I'll finish that personal project. Or at least work on it.

Later that day:
God, school's exhausting.. I only wanna play games (League/GW2) with my girlfriend now

Summary of my life.

took me 3 hours to figure out why my app isnt working just so i can read my own code slowly like a retard and see this

He fails at managing his time and can't finish his tasks in work days ... suggests to work on the weekend and drags the whole team with him.

Sorry mate, but I ain't fucking working on weekend !

Team lead my ass 😡😡

You know what really, really sucks about my school? Rant#00

I'm in my last year now and they removed one CS/IT lesson. Now I have two fucking 45min lessons (instead of three) of learning what I'm actually interested in.

Even worse: They don't provide and LK ("Leistungskurs" == advanced course) for CS/IT. Not like for Maths, English, German - okay but LATIN AND SPORT? Wtf
And this school calls themselves a MINT-school (Maths, IT, Natural Sciences, Technology).

EVEN WORSE: The 12th graders now don't even have a basic course CS/IT.

Fuck you school.

Everytime i see stickers,i swear i feel a tiny orgasm down my stomach 💗💗

The not supporting browser part is ok but I'm not on windows using ie but on my phone using my default browser ........
Also how dare they put ie on my phone without telling me ........

So... i have almost finished training my script on linuxxx. It likes saying some very linuxxxy things (and occasionally just copyu-paseting from one of his rants) Here are some things it has said to me:

How motherfucking difficult can it be to port forward something internally?!

"linuxxx seems to know a lot more about privacy than the terminal"

As for github selling itself to Microsoft, this most likely nearly working

Does anyone know a way of to do a video chat through node js? NOT through webrtc.

Me: *turns laptop on and indeed, it takes a fuckton of time*

fuck google

----
Next up, alexdelarge!!

Today I showed my dad some of the projects I’ve been woking on, he said to me son show me something that makes money.

I had nothing.

A support request came in at 4:30 this afternoon, I logged onto the server somewhat pissed off that there was a support request at this time on a Friday.

I checked the logs and noticed 500 errors coming from our integration parter after a little log checking and with glee I declared "not my fucking problem!" I replied to the customer and ccd our partner. Have fun bitches, next time deploy your new version when we fucking agreed!

I never touch my code if anyone else have made changes in them without asking me.

I cry like a bitch when I get home.

I just bought an amazing Bluetooth headphone but I'm really FUCKING PISSED because when its charging the led flashes green and when it is charged it flashes some fucking other tone of green and as someone who has daltonism it makes me really fucking frustrated because I can't say tell the difference even if my life depended on it... PLEASE DONT BE THE STUPID CUNT THAT DESIGNS SHIT LIKE THAT! JUST MAKE IT NON COLOR DEPENDANT FOR FUCK SAKE!

Thanks.

So, you saw my work place, now my home place!

My work PC just got 'upgraded' to windows 10. Fantastic.

Today is the real fuckening at work. The worst part is, you are working your ass off and someone started bugging you constantly on chat and blaming it is effecting his "productivity" because tech team doesn't solve his problem.

I have 4 projects under me with doing day to day operations also. But yeah just few more months before I left this shit. I wanted to shout back, but tried to keep my head cool, though I have already kicked his face many times in my mind.

If you cannot help, at least stop being a dick and appreciate someone trying his best to solve problems.

DHL? More like, "Du Hurensohn Lieferst ned!"
Seriously! Fuck DHL so fucking hard! Why the FUCK can you deliver 2 FUCKING PACKAGES, WHICH REQUIRE SIGNING, INFRONT OF MY FUCKING ENTRANCE!! But not, A FUCKING 3rd one! LIKE SERIOUSLY! I WAS AT FUCKING HOME THE ENTIRE FUCKING DAY! THEN I RECIEVE AN EMAIL THAT THE FUCKING PACKAGE "couldnt be delivered because I wasnt at home" YEAH FUCK YOU! 2 INFRONT OF MY FUCKING DOOR! and then... I see him... that fucking DHL guy, with my package, going INTO HIS FUCKING SHITASS DHL CAR, AND DRIVING OFF!
I literally just wanted to open the window and scream "HEY DHL, MEIN SCHEISS PACKET! WO ISSET!?" but I didnt...

FUCK THESE COCKSUCKERS FROM DHL! I HAVE A FUCKING LOUD DOORBELL! RING THAT THING! THERES A BUTTON WITH MY NAME NEXT TO IT!

After searching internet for a good way of moving object in CardboardVR i said fuck that.
Learnt Ray and little C# (I know microsoft stuff but well i cant use Unreal :( )
I created my fucking own move system when user is holding the button.
Woooow they didnt lie Unity is really easy to learn.
While yeah sure i would be more happy to use Unreal Engine but my GPU compiles the Shaders completely wrong and they are purple in Unreal so i cant use Unreal.

My development process seems to go:

1. Write code
2. Believe that said code is amazing
3. Write more code
4. Revisit earlier code and start to doubt it's amazing-ness
5. Get frustrated that it could be done better
6. Redo 1 and repeat cycle

Seems a massive waste of time but I tend to like taking a different approach as soon as I find I'm getting stuck with the previous one.

I then get encouraged to take the quick/easy approach which seems like a backwards step and not worthwhile because I know it won't be as fast/efficient.

I have to say that after reading some of the rants from this week, I came to appreciate my CS education.

My lead developer has a tendency of saying "that movie fucking sucks" every time I mention a movie.

From Saturday to Sunday, I have seen ready player one a total of 6 times. If tomorrow I mention it and he says that it sucked I am gonna go ahead and Texas bitch slap him across the face with the power of Spielberg.

There is only so much trolling I can take my dudes. And I really fucking enjoyed the movie.

If you haven't seen it then please go ahead!!!

Here is my sweet and peaceful showOff banner. ☺️

I secretly wish everything at work fails because everyone is so fucking stupid every time it makes me cringe when I have to talk to someone or watch someone explaining something to me.

Everything seems to lack planning and focus, our PMS act more like clients than like managers, its a total fucking mess and I have to clean some of it this week.

It's getting so much on my nerves that I had to open my whiskey for the first time this year, damn.

!dev
I'M SO GONNA GET MY OWN LOCKPICKING SET AND LEARN HOW TO FUCKING PICK LOCKS. I'M SICK OF GETTING LOCKED OUT OF MY OWN FUCKING ROOM. "WHY DON'T YOU USE A KEY?" YOU ASK? GOOD QUESTION. MY JERKBAG ARSEHOLE PARENTS DECIDED TO NOT GIVE ME A FUCKING KEY FOR MY OWN FUCKING ROOM *FOR 6 GODDAM YEARS* SINCE WE'VE MOVED IN. "WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO TO THE LOCKSMITH OR SOME SHIT-" DO YOU I THINK I CAN JUST FUCKING WALTZ IN, ASK FOR THE KEY AND BRING IT TO THE FUCKING LOCKSMITH TO GET A DUPLICATE? AS IF THEY WOULD!!! AND NOW I'M GONNA GET EITHER AN F OR GO FULL SUICIDAL BECAUSE COFFEE THROUGH THE NIGHT IS NOT A FUCKING OPTION FOR ME. BECAUSE ALL THE FUCKING MATERIAL I HAVE FOR MY GODDAM ASSIGNMENT, ALONG WITH MY LAPTOP IS IN MY FUCKING ROOM. THANKS DAD! YOU SURE ARE HELPFUL AS FUCK! FUCK YOU!

change my mind

Read a blog post at work yesterday from the company head of IT security. Line 1:
As part of our company policy we enforce the use of usernames and passwords, known as two factor authentication. However we also need to ensure.....

Stopped listening at this point as I hit Google to confirm the definition of two factor auth.

Nope I'm not loosing my mind, the blog post is insane....

As DevOps it’s my duty to make sure these excuses no longer exist. Software should just work everywhere all the time

I fucking hate websites where you register and they send you email confirmation WITH YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD AND USERNAME also when you purchase something from the same fucking website they send you email with order details and YOUR PASSSSSSWWWWOOOORDDDD. Fuck my country(Serbia) man...

Owner of the company I freelance for: The proposal I sent yesterday to [PR Company we do work for] got bounced back. They said it was incomplete.

Me: Well no shit, they didn't provide us with a detailed itinerary of everything they need, nor did they give us access to sections that they want copied to the new website. I can't and won't provide a full quote when I don't have all the information needed to build one. I would be guessing at this point and it would be shitty guesses.

Owner: Here's a proposal they got from another company. We need to make it like this [sends file].

Me: They mention a one sentence footnote about what I laid out. Everything else is marketing jargon that I don't know, because I'm a developer, not a marketer. I'm not sure what it is you want me to do, because you're asking the wrong person.

Owner: Are you going to help me or not?

Me: Help you with what? You got my notes. Paraphrase them if you need to, but I have more important things on my agenda, like being a web developer, not a proposal drafter.

not necessarily dev related, but fuck this tilted me heavily.

I was working my other job today, and we were up to 12 hour shift. about 6 hours in we finally get called for lunch.

so we go to the venue's restaurant, and to our surprise there were no meats at all to put on bread or whatever.

So we walk up to a worker there asking where we can find the meats. she replied "Its no meat monday, we only serve vegetarian today"

excuse me? I'm 100% fine with people being vegetarian, and think its great most places offer vegetarian meals now. but why the flying fuck do i have to be forced to be a vegetarian aswell now? where is my fucking no salad saturday or fried chicken friday where you only serve meats?

Ofcourse that doesnt exist because it would be "outrageous" to not think of vegetarians. but for some fucking reason its apparantly fine to deny people their meat.

I've figured out the problem with my life. It isn't my job, or my wife, I am just really really bored with life and live a totally unfulfilling life and don't have the money or credit to live the life I want.

So I want to switch jobs to increase my income to travel the world, because that is the only thing I have come to find out I like to do.

Either that or just find some brain altering substance to where I don't even feel like I exist anymore.

What's wrong with the USPS...my stressball has been stuck in Jamaica for the last 10 months...

The reason why "it works on my machine":
Python: dependencies

You add the next language and reason

Great

Updated GPU drivers, turned my PC off while i was getting something to eat and watch YouTube videos in the living room, decided to go work on some project, turn my PC back on, and... Nothing works...

Neither of my monitors displays anything and not even my keyboard turns on... Didn't even get to see the splash screen of my mobo vendor

Why does this shit always happen to me?

Time to time I do some Hard- and Software repairs for neighbors and get some little money for it.

My neighbor let's call this one "Bob".

Bob has a new printer and a old one which is over 15 years old.

First: Holy shit 15 years old printer works still. WTF? Is this thing Hulk or what?

He ask me why he can't print a 128 site Doc with pictures in it from the old printer. It always stop at around 50 pages.

I tell him that it has only 32 MB Ram/Flash and can't print more. Before the Doc's were much smaller and could print that, but today you got files with more than 10 MB and on a printer it need's atleast 128 MB Ram to process and print it.

Guess what? One week later he asks me the same questions.

Why don't you print it on your new shiny expensive printer and why do you need still that OFFICE WAR VETERAN OF PRINTER to print it???

Seriously just use the new and better one!! Bob please give that old one a burial. He deservs it!

Fuck my life! For my studies at University it is required that I learn how to code... Over the past month I've been learning java, and yesterday a friend of mine has introduced me to Go. Now all I want to do is learn Go, meanwhile our Prof pushes us to learn switch-case and goto...

Webpack and Babel make me want to kill myself. Takes longer to set a project up than it does to write the damn thing.

Last night i ran my code, it worked. This morning i ran, it didn't.

I'm starting to doubt that my computer is a deterministic system.

About to enter the snake pit of lawyers for a client call about a late project. Putting on my super suit.

Gah gets me every time I open an image I want to share with friends on messages later.
Share dialog ain't cutting it.

Am I the only one? Have a nice desk but prefer to code in my sofa all night loooong..

Staying in because I have some really awesome stomach pains this morning courtesy of my time in the wonderful U.S Army.

As such my daughter did not get dropped off at the daycare center.

It is 09:22am. She(daughter)would have stayed asleep till about 10 if we didn't mess with her.

For WHATEVER FUCKING REASON and knowing that my stomach is on a fucking murder spree right now my wife decided in ALL OF HER FUCKING WISDOM to wake her up.

I am so
Fucking
Upset

I really feel for the motherfucker that would today and I am really wishing a motherfucker would.

After months of googling and troubleshooting my router settings trying to figure out why my port forwarding settings are not working only to realize that I'M BEING CGNATTED TO OBLIVION BY MY FUCKING ISP WITHOUT A FUCKING NOTICE!

y.

Well is a long story, but to make it short, a friend started to teach me HTML after that at school they taught me c++, and after my first "Hello World" I was hooked, since then I became an addict to programming and now to devrant

Background: I'm in middle school, and two popular games that people liked got blocked. My friend and I made a website with the blocked games on a free 000webhost subdomain. It was a crappy, twenty minute website that I made with just a view counter, the games, and a chat room for people looking for other people to play with.

Story: one day I opened up the chat room where another friend and I were gonna talk about our teacher behind her back. I opened the chat room, and in the previous chat text, there was a line that said "Username: " and a text box. Then, about five lines, each with two text boxes separated by a ":". I knew that it could've been my friend that "made" the site with me (he designed the logo and occasionally modified the HTML), but I suspected not. He wasn't smart enough. Now when I was building the chat room, I internationally didn't put in XSS protection, just to see if someone would catch onto it, and, to my surprise, someone obviously did. Now there's someone in my school, who could be just like me, but I don't know where. Man, I really wanna find him (or her)! Of course, it could be my teachers, who are messing with it and could be trying to get it blocked -_-

My distrust in technology does not come from it being foreign to me, on the contrary, being a developer, I have gotten to know, how things are coded and built.

TL:DR
Why do so shitty "API"s exist that are even harder to write than proper ones? D:

Trying to hack my venilation at home.
This API is so horrible D:
The API is only based on POST requests no matter if you want to write values or get values and the response only contains XML with cryptic values like:

<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?>
<PARAMETER>
<LANG>de</LANG>
<ID>v01306</ID>
<VA>00011100000000000000000010000001</VA>
<ID>v00024</ID>
<VA>0</VA>
<ID>v00033</ID>
<VA>2</VA>
<ID>v00037</ID>
<VA>0</VA>

Also there are multiple API routes like
POST /data/werte1.xml
POST /data/werte2.xml
POST /data/werte3.xml
POST /data/werte4.xml
And actually the real API route is only given in the request body and not in the path.

Why is this so shitty? D:<

Btw in terms of security this is also top notch. It just globally saves if one computer sends the login password.
I mean why even ask for a password then? D:
That made me end up with a cronjob to send a login request so I don't have to login on any device.

PS:
You see, great piece of German engineering.

sleep. this isn't even a fucking sarcastic answer. my motherboard almost got fried from my drool after falling asleep on my keyboard.

Recently not a single fucking thing is going my way...... Every goddamn new thing i try, screws me over in some way... And when I finally think somethings working, I get fucked more than a highway hooker.

Never pulled a coding all-nighter. I love and need my eight hours beauty sleep. 😴

Me ( a python dev) pointing to a good java joke in dev rant to my brother who happens to be working at TCS for the past 5 years as a Java Developer...

Me: Java is shit...
He: huh java is the best! every language in the world is written over java. My manager said this.
Me: I think I will kill him today in his sleep.

More than 3GB ram is useless on android phones. Change my mind.

I bought cheap lg g5. It has 4gb ram (my old phone had 1gb ram). I have opened chrome with 4 tabs, an AAA game, devRant, Instagram, a vpn app, android settings and I'm listening music. There is still free 1,2 gb ram. Also this is not my everyday usage. I use maximum 3 apps at same time.

Would have loved if my teachers had any idea about coding, more over, if they had any idea about coding in big projects, even more if they had any idea of producing understandable maintainable code and had taught people about it.

Wish I knew about this lovely community a few years ago, when a dev in my team asked for help because they couldn't understand why their function was only returning one string... Only you guys would understand my pain when I saw this...

string SomeShitStringMethod()
{
<do stuff>
return string1;

<do stuff>
return string2;

<do stuff>
return string3;
}

>_______<

Today is fucking great. My £100 mouse broke cause I put it down on the desk to hard.
Laravel nova was working perfectly last night now it's fucked. In-between then and now I've only slept.
My Dev env has decided to stick a 12 inch dildo up it's ass and die.

I'm almost tempted to do the same at this point.

On top of that, I'm stressed out as fuck from my job. Life is fucking great.

Fucking nice, my damn PC has problems handling RAM and can't stay more than 1 minute in any OS without crashing. Windows bluescreens with MEMORY_MANAGEMENT or other bullshit. Nice fucking situation. It's either my CPU's IMC or all of the four RAM sticks. Long tests say it's not my board. Either way, I'm fucked because I haven't got any money to replace my PC yet.

What a coincidence, I got similar parts to someone on Google+ who lives near me and has this exact problem EXCEPT HE CAN REPLACE HIS PC SOON AND I CAN'T. GREAT.

[Me]: Walking past a building, looks like an office building. *Light bulb*
[Me]: looks towards the nearest monitor Python terminal is open. Screams out loud "My man!"

Today I had a problem with a JS framework. The only person who was available who could help me was the one I avoid, because he always knows everything better.
Well, after I asked if he had time for me, he sits next to me and I started to explain.
After looking around, he started blaming my backend code.
(I belong to the kind of dev that tries to write small and simple code. But I also often use the more complex features of the languages.) He suddenly started accusing everyday things in the backend like inheriting a class or using objects and basic data types together as parameters of a method (WTF???) Hell, all I could say at that moment was that I had a problem with this JS framework and not with the backend that worked well. He probably tried for over an hour to find the bug in the backend and just wouldn't listen, after that he gave up. I wonder what this bitch has learned over the years. Can it really be that he forgot the basics of a programming language? Or has the fool never worked with an inheritance before? I think he's an incapable piece of shit, he hasn't even patched my reported vulnerability in his project in the last half year, which allows to inject own code onto the server.
Because of such fucking morons I get a headache when I think about it. How can it be that he's got a higher degree and earns about 50% more. I should leave this company!

No matter how much I try my boss keeps trying to shove future or unsolicited features on every fucking current sprint as if we weren't delayed already...

Wtf dude? We get paid by delivery, let's just fucking deliver what they expect by each deadline and move on...

Just SSH'd into my first serious cloud VM and realized I really cannot live without Oh My Zsh!

The largest ISP in my country, a government backed service, hijacks URLs randomly and injects pop up into web browser!

Imagine if getting hijacked during an online transaction... Glad it never happened yet.

But Fuck them for doing this.

I have now turned the name board in my cubicle to hide my name.

Why you ask? Not because I don't like my name, or dislike my name board (there's this little design on it which is just delightful).

It is to make it a bit more difficult for new morons who don't know who I am or where I sit. Can't do much more than that because I have a desktop.

That feeling when they don't understand something, yet you know that no matter how much you explain about it they still wouldn't understand...

My heart can only take so much torture...

I'm giving these out to the trick or treaters, do you think they'll be happy? They say that knowledge is worth more than sweets in my country!

set timeout from 8000 to 9000 (milliseconds) instead of optimizing an stored Procedure ._.

In a meeting yesterday working through our WebAPI coding standards, starting from File -> New project..etc..etc.. and ironing out some of the left-or-right decisions so we can have a consistent coding style, working in a meeting room with an overhead projector and sharing keyboard around with one another.

Then we hit the routing 'rules' in the WebApiConfig, "api/{controller}/{id}"…

DevMgr: "Do we need the 'api' prefix? It seems redundant."
Ralph: "Yes it's needed. Prefixing the controllers with 'api' is industry best practice. Otherwise, how is anyone to know it's a web api"
Prancer: "Yea, it's part of the REST standard."
Me: "I don't think so. That is only part of the Asp.Net routing rule. We can put anything we want or take anything out."
DevMgr: "Yea, it looks silly. All the new services are going to be business process specific."
Ralph: "That's how everyone does it. It's kind of the point of why REST services are called WebApi"
Prancer: "What's the point of doing any of this work if we're not going to follow industry standards."
Me: "I understand if the service is part of larger web site, but we're developing standalone services. Prefixing routes with 'api' is redundant. I mean who are these 'everyone' you're talking about?"
<ralph rolls his eyes>
Ralph: "Lets see …uhhh… Netflix?. They're kinda a big deal."
Me: "Like I said, it's an integral part of their site and the services they provide. That's fine. I'm talking about the 12 other 3rd party services we integrate with. None of them have 'api' on any of their routes."
Prancer: "We're talking about serious web services."
Me: "Last time I checked, UPS is a big and serious service."
Ralph: "Their services are a fracking joke" – he didn't say fracking.
Me: "Our payroll system, our billing system, billion dollar companies, didn't have '/api' prefix anywhere. Heck, even that free faxing service we used for a while was a dead-simple routing path."
<I take the keyboard away from Ralph, remove the 'api' from the route.>
Me: "There. Done. Now, lets talk about error handling.."

Rest of the meeting Ralph and Prancer don't say much of anything, arms crossed…I swear Ralph looked like he was going to cry.
This morning I catch my boss…
Me: "What did you think of the meeting? I thought Ralph was going to take a swing at me when I took the keyboard away from him."
DevMgr: "Oh yes…I almost laughed out loud….blows my freaking mind how worked up people get about crap that doesn't matter. Api..or not…who the frack cares. Just make it consistent"
Me: "Exactly…I didn't care either way, but I enjoyed calling out that nonsense."
DevMgr: "Yes..waaay too much."

If I didn't call them on their BS and the 'standard' allowed to continue, I can bet my paycheck when the subject comes up in a few months (another mgr asks 'isn't this api prefix redundant?') Ralph and Prancer will be the first to say "Yea, its stupid. We fought really hard to remove it from the standard...its not our fault...its <insert scapegoat> fault."

Hey guys.
So I finnaly did some cleaning :p so, I know I'm late, but this is my temple

My commit message just about sums it up...

So just went for an interview that a slimy recruiter set up, 'yes they want experience in C#', great! Finally get back on top of my rent, sort my life out. Get to the interview, fucking C++ job...

I've had enough.

I was working yesterday, writing a calculus with sql.
My very great user explained to me the math in Excel. I first though to myself, piece of cake, i got it.
Then I started typing and at the end of the day i had 6 temp tables which at some point need to join with themselves. It was just hilarious. each table had at least 4 millions rows.

Then I started a new query just for validating the output of me very ugly previous queries.
And I fucking found a easier way to get the same output with 3 joins of 3 different tables and a count at the end.

When you love yourself. but hate yourself at the same time.

xD it was a very productive Friday night

Today I started setting up an environment to learn C. It's my first dive into anything more complex than PHP. Wish me luck!

Also, any hints for a beginner in C?

Ok guys, since what Im using is a laptop with some low specs since Im too broke to even afford a new FM2+ motherboard to repair my desktop pc and have a little more raw power to use and make more fancy stuff, I wish to know if anyone here legit is interested in some Original content images that Im thinking in make just out of spite in the Zerg Rush of users spaming about F. Quantum and if its worth my already highly limited time just to get hopefully more ++ than my last AMD OC that pretty much noone cared about

My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...

I always get this fucking want to cut off my head headache after giving every damn workshop at office. Fuck you head. Fuck you.

my girlfriend can't give up her silly needs and i can't give up wasting my time on my arch!

My laptop now finally refuses to connect to the company wifi, and here i am browsing bitbucket on my phone

I didn't expect me to be productive today anyway, but that's another rant.

Great news, I just lost my email account's password. The password is in password manager but apparently, when I was changing it, I did something wrong. Now, neither the old one, nor the new one work and I can't login into my email. I didn't even change the password reset phone number to my new one! And I also forgot the recovery mailbox' password. Fucking great.

Here's the lesson: **ALWAYS** re-check your new password in your browser's private window.

My current boss and soon to be on-site boss marked me as 'God of Code'.

Is that good/normal/bad?

I’ve been out of steady work for almost 2 whole months now but things are starting to look up...

I’m super stoked for some potential client projects!!! I have one client that wants me to completely rebuild their businesses infrastructure, PC refresh, server upgrade, network overhaul for 3 sites, and more. This new client has a business partner with another side business and wants to discuss potential work/projects. And I’m going to be discussing a potential contract deal on Thursday to develop a custom software for another client.

Guys! My startup is starting woot!!!

Testing a chat application that works within a local network on my mobile hotspot.

600 mb gone

WTF!

As a freelance web developer, should I develop my own website to market myself?

Wish my 3 project managers would realize when everything is a P1, nothing is.

Export my over-attached girlfriend in a UDP packet.

YouTube if you want to monopolize the browser at least make it right.

You told me that my browser is not supported and I should "update my browser" and when I click the link , you said

Week started of great.... :/

I always leave my laptop at work, except this weekend. Guess what I forgot to bring to work today....

What the fucking fuck is this bullshit?!
I feel like most journalists don't even have brains.
I wake up and I can't fucking turn my head or move my arms so I try to turn on TalkBack with my left hand since I can't fucking see what's on the damn screen of my phone. I google something along the lines of "jammed neck muscles" and as I am in so much pain that I am involuntarily crying I start to search for some way to limit the pain. "Jammed neck muscles? Try these few steps!", you open the page and they proceed to put 10 pages of non-sense in front of the actual steps - every single fucking article. DO THESE PEOPLE HAVE THE IQ OF A CENTIPEDE?!! After 12 minutes of this shit that I had to listen to I just said fuck it and somehow managed to throw myself off the bed and onto the ground - where I landed on all four and was somehow able to stand up and grab some Theraflu forte(apparently paracetamol is the best cure for jammed neck muscles and I know that there are 1000mg of it in one packet of theraflu) from my cardboard box full of meds.

!rant

For the past year I was more or less solely responsible for a project. With the beginning of the year 2020 that project is paused. I had vacation starting the 23.12.2019 so the project ended there for me. Since the 25. the project is alerting like 30 crashes a day. I didn't change a thing but the external consultant did. Now I sit here at home and drink relaxing tea while reading a book. It's nice to say that it is not my problem anymore :-)

I might be able to release my first application tomorrow. At least the first version.

Nothing special, be amazed if it gets much attention.

In short;

You specify any running processes you wish to forcefully close, in my case, games.

So any time these games start running, it's force closed.

The app also monitors the active window, of it's and IDE, like Visual Studio, it will add credit towards allowing those blocked processes to run.

Currently you get 1 credit for every minute you code.

I plan to refine it some more. And yes I know there's ways around it but, it was fun to make

I will never understand why my university is requiring me to take upper level physics. I understand the need to understand electricity and circuitry but this semester has been mostly quantum and I don't see how this will apply to development.

No shit, it works on my machine

A headache starts popping in my head like modals and popups on websites, so I decide I should take a pill and proceed to get myself some water (yeah, I cannot stand headaches for more than 2 minutes).

As I enter, the room is only populated with the "cleaning lady" (she's quite aged), I tell her "hi" and proceed to grab a glass of water.

"Hey, you are good in IT right?"

Oh fuck.

RUNNNNN.

That lady is impossible to escape once she wants to talk to you.

So my skills as a developer were used to configure her facebook...

Hope my headache starts leaving soon, it worsened by a factor of 9000 after that traumatic episode.

So, now my boss thinks i stole his project!!? Duh!! 😳😡
Suggest me ways to quit working here! 🙏🏻🙏🏻

Few weeks back, I have subscribed /r/battlestations and drooling everyday. Now with this latest devRant news, it's time to save money or sell my ass on street to

1) buy a wide monitor or monitors
2) buy backlit keyboard and mouse
3) buy a good desk
4) buy a good chair
5) buy/rent a room with enough space

Forget about buying and setting up a good unit, I can just use my potato laptop for one photo taking. *dry-laugh*

(∩︵∩)

Just integrated urban dictionary in my app.

I've been trying to query some data from an 18 GB xml DB through BaseX for about 9 hours without success.

Just wondered how LinQ would work with the same xml info. Just got the info I needed in less than 15 minutes.

God bless LinQ.

Why is DevRant consuming so much power in the background? My Android starts ranting about it every time I leave the app minimized.

Ordered some fucking computer glasses (which filter out the blue light). Been having red eyes and excessive fatigue these last months, plus sneaky headaches.

We're in 2018, and fucking delivery companies still think that people are at home waiting for their parcel. They came yesterday, fucking saw I wasn't there, they left a fucking delivery notice when my parcel does not require a signature!! I mean, what's the use of a P.O box if it's only there to host spiders in summer?

Plus on that stupid delivery note they've put a QR code - "please use the given code or scan this QR code to change your delivery options" - which is unreadable, AND they didn't give me the fucking code.

Be flexible for fuck's sake, and evolve with your time. I hate Slowtzerland for that - conservative, late, immuable. Especially in "social" services. 99% of the population is away from home from 6 to 18, time to fucking print that in your brain and get on with it.

Now I might wait until Saturday so I can get them glasses...

For the past 19 years of life, I've loved Thanksgiving break because it was an escape from school or a job I hated. But now that I work as a dev, I miss working on my project and can't wait to go back!

Follow up to my previous rant:
I find a random bush more amusing and interesting than whatever's happening around me.

It's only Thursday... morning... WTF....

(my internet is so slow I delete the post I uploaded an hour ago because it looked like the image was corrupted... It was just still loading)

Q: WTF was used in __ different ways in this rant. How many and what are they?

I thought the “works on my machine” from sysadmins is mostly a joke...

But no. I’m attending the Polish high school and I have a lessons via the Internet. I wasn’t able to hear the voice of the teacher on Linux 4.18 and Chromium browser, so I sent the mail to support to report it. Of course it “works on their machines”...

I just have a weird dream.

I am talking to a person and I enter into a dream land for a few minute (I think it a few minute) since I am really tired.

The weird thing is I am still having a conversation with the same person in my dream about the same topic. Now I am awake and that person doesn't notice that I was asleep (Good job my unconsciousness,good job my auto reply system).

Now here is a problem.I cannot distinguish the dream from reality and the detail of the conversation merge together. For instance I don't remember what is the correct price of the item since the price of the item differ from my dream and real world. The price of the item may be 2000 or 1800 , which one is it?

There are also various details which merge together.

Every day I get more convinced, that companies are only hiring the mentally disabled to their marketing departments.

Gitlab now spams ads constantly in my Facebook feed, because "I have visited gitlab.com".

If I have visited it, I am clearly already using it, stop annoying me please.

Today something pretty bad happened (as always at school)
and I'm gonna rant about it to
1) get your expertly opinion on it
2) relieve from it

SOOOOO
today I entered class to paretake in the writing of the much anticipated class test (kappa).

The teacher gives everybody a sheet with the exercises - let alone me.

I tell him to give me a sheet too.

"Put a book between you and xy"

so I do. I ask him again to give me the exam paper. No response.

Again, and he looks at me with a disrespectful look. I look back. And get thrown out of the room - not getting a chance to paretake in the writing of the test yet getting the worst grade one could possibly get in the modest german education system (=> 6)

Now I'm going to pursue any possible legal action against him (I dont care about him. After the lesson I wanted to talk with him; yet he declined my offer for reconsiliation, then he called my parents, even though he had time to think about what he did {any sane person would agree that what he did was wrong <yet my classmates dont agree>}. Also, he is that type of teacher who gives unusually unnessecary homework - which I personally see as punition, since I already know 97% of the stuff thought in [english] classes)

See why I am despising school so much?

It drains my last bit of energy until I am an empty shell with the sole goal to finish education asap in order to be able to fucking work.

BTW: I tried using my best english in this rant to demonstrate my abilities in order for you to be able to see that I honestly dont those "basic" english lessons.

We're having a training session on how to speak with clients because we're getting feedback that we seen annoyed in our emails.

Probably my fault, not that I mean for that to bleed through into my replies

Just pimping my devduck..
Rate my job ;)

What yours looks like?

I recently made 2 years of experience but don’t know if I should still apply for an entry level position. I still feel uneasy with my skills, but don’t love where I’m working. What would you guys do if you were in my shoe?

She: My code is like my babyyy.

Me: mv function.py diapers.py

Stupid people.

The best part being a dev for me is that my hobby is also my job. And my hobby pays well 😎