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Search - "darkness"
Things I've learned throughout my 5 - 6 years as a programmer.
- StackOverflow is full of assholes.
- CMS's are for weaklings.
- The best feeling about waking up in the morning is figuring out how to solve that error in your code.
- You no longer think about normal people things. Your mind is full of code.
- You're practically a computer.
- ALWAYS backup and save your stuff or you WILL regret it. Enable autosave if possible.
- RIP your social life (if your friends don't know squat about programming)
- Darkness is better.
- Being a programmer is amazing.28
Frontend-developer's day is like:
*moving element by 0.0001px to right*:
- *10 new pages appeared*
- *text suddenly disappeared*
- *pictures pierced bottom of page*
- *window.alert("Kill me")*
- *it's night outside the window, but you totally sure a minute ago was a noon*
*moving element back*:
- *no pictures*
- *no text*
- *no moon*
- *10 blank pages*
- *only darkness left in this world...
...and this fcking element, yeah*25
This might be a little off topic, but I just wanted to talk about this for a bit.
I know that quite a lot of devs aren't the happiest of people, and I've seen many of you discussing depression around here. It's great to have this platform be open about these issues.
Makes you remember that people aren't all that bad, a small conversation with another person could make your day a bit more bearable.
Also, don't forget to have an honest conversation with yourself sometimes. Cut yourself, and others, a bit of slack.
Don't let the big black dog grow too much. It will still be there, but don't let it engulf you in darkness. 💜22
Idea for devRant for April 1st:
User opens devRant. Greeted with the message: "devRant has changed the UI to make it more suitable for developers. From now on, the complete devRant interface is going to be command line. Read the man pages to get started."
User greeted with:
When learning a new language replace "Hello world" with "Hello darkness my old friend". Sounds more appropriate.4
Me when I gonna help a colleague who uses a light background in the text editor:
OH MY GOD MY EYES ARE BURNING LET ME GET BACK TO THE DARKNESS7
Have guys ever thought that all te devs are vampires...
reason 1: Loves Darkness (dark theme)
reason 2: Most active during the night
reason 3: If the dev finds a capable victim then they can make them fellow dev.25
This was in my first semester in college. Some dude installed Teamviewer on any PC he got the chance to. There were people (idiots) who saw him remotely access PC and thought he was some crazy hacker!....
Damn. The amount of idiots I've come across with shitconceptions on hacking.4
An architect, a hooker and a programmer were talking one evening, and somehow, the discussion turned to which profession was the oldest."Come on, you guys! Everyone knows mine is the oldest profession," said the hooker."Ah," said the architect, "but before your profession existed, there had to be people, and who was there before people?" "What are you getting at, God?" The hooker asked.
"And was He not the divine architect of the universe?" The architect asked, looking smug.
The programmer had been silent, but now he spoke up. "And before God took on himself the role of an architect, what was there?"
"Darkness and chaos," the hooker said.
"And who do you think created chaos?" the programmer said.1
I have seen it. They say it doesn't exist; just a story we tell our children so that their innocence does not lead them down into a nightmarish adulthood from which there is no salvation. But the evil lives. So vile that were you to look inside its soul, all you would find is a terrible desperation for suffering. To cause it. To revel in it. To bathe in the tears of those it considers less than human and feed off the emotional detritus.
It was 2009. The financial crisis. I was one of the lucky, having found refuge in a large company right before the jobs dried up. General IT: system administration, documentation, project management, telephony, software training, second level help desk. No software development, but with a two-year-old at home and Ph.D.s lining up outside the local Olive Garden whenever a help wanted sign was posted, I grabbed the health insurance and entered into darkness.
The Thing did not need to hunt it's prey. A manager title with 21 reports brought it new opportunities for fresh meat by the hour. But I was special. I resisted. I needed to know my place.
My first mistake was incomprehension. I did not understand the Thing's lust to be right at all costs. I was reviewing some documentation it had brought forth from its bowels. I mentioned that two spaces were being used between sentences. That proportional type made that unnecessary. It insisted, I was wrong. It insisted that Microsoft itself, the purveyor of all good technical writing, required two spaces. I opened the Microsoft Manual of Style for Technical Publications that it demanded its staff use and showed it that the spec was one space. It was livid. I was a problem.
From that point on my work life became exponentially more wretched. I was given three Outlook calendars to maintain: one with my schedule, one with the team's schedule and one with the Thing's schedule. Every time I had an appointment, I was to triple schedule it. If I was going to be away from my desk for more than 15 minutes triple schedule. Triple schedule my lunch, vacations, phone conferences.
Whenever it held a meeting, I and a colleague would be taken off mission critical IT projects to set tables with name tents and to serve as greeters as attendees arrived.
I was called into its crypt to be told never to say anything in a meeting unless I told the Thing beforehand what I was going to say. Naive, I mentioned that I often don't know what I will say as it is often in reply to someone else. Of course the response was that I should not say anything.
I would get emails 10-20 times a day asking about a single project. I would regularly complete work that was needed to be completed ASAP, only to have the Thing rake me over the coals for not completing it a week later. And upon resending the emails proving I notified it of the work being competed, disparaged at length a second time for not sending repeated notifications of the competed work.
I would have to sit in two-hour meetings to watch it type. Literally watch it try to create cogent thoughts. In silence.
I received horrendous annual reviews. At one, it created a development plan that stated a colleague would begin giving me lessons on the proper ways to socially interact with personnel. I pointed out to HR that this violated privacy concerns and would make the business liable in many areas, not least of which would be placing a help desk person in the role of defining proper business practice. HR made the Thing remove this from my review. She started planning to remove me.
I had given a short technical training to a group of personnel months earlier. Called into its tomb I was informed that feedback surveys on my talk were disturbing. One person stated that they did not think I was funny. Another wrote that I made an offensive statement. That person did not say what the offensive statement was. Just that I had said something he or she didn't like.
The Thing interviewed the training attendees. Gathered facts. Held three inquest-like meetings where multiple directors peppered me with questions trying to get me to confess to my offensiveness. In the end the request to fire me was brought to the man who ran the business at the time. The statement on high: "Humor is a subjective thing. Please tell This to be sensitive to that."
The Thing had failed, but would no doubt redouble its efforts. I had to find a new job. I sent hundreds of resumes. Talked to dozens of recruiters. But there were no jobs. And I had a family. And the wolf was at the door.
So I didn't say a word to the creature. For six months. Silence. At one group meeting it shrieked at me "what are you smirking at? If you've got something to say then say it!" I just shrugged. For my salvation was revealed. The Thing could not stand to be ignored. And at the end of my penance I was transferred to another group: Software Development.
I am one with the Force. The Force is with me. I am one with the Force. The Force is with me.4
Was coding and tired as hell, my light in the room blew this week and I haven't got around to replacing it - the darkness is not exactly that exciting.
Pressed a wrong button by accident, lo and behold my laptop has a backlit keyboard. I had no idea that it had this. Blew my fucking mind (I have never had the time to just sit and look at the function keys - I suppose that is one downside to never having to look at the keyboard when one types).
A new flow of inspiration came upon me, I opened up VSCode and put on some Pantera.
Code beware, I'm fucking hostile.11
Me : I should start building user authentication system.
inner self : there are enough free and secure ones out there, just go read the documentation.
Me : fuck I'm not reading 10000 pages of documentation written in alien language.
inner self : well then you better start building
Me : **writes code
Inner self : you better add the data validation and security while coding
Me : I just want it to work !
Me after a few days trying not to suicide : the site is hacked, the code is bugged, hello darkness my friend5
There comes that dreaded time in the life of a developer working in a conservative, borderline medieval corporate, where darkness sweeps over the land and the evil lords rummage through every peasant's hovel searching for the forbidden - AKA software audit.
So I made a list of all the unauthorized open source code we desperately rely on, and we decided as a team to go down in flames and gloriously fail the audit, a legend of sacrifice that shall be passed on in hushed voices.5
Friends cause more problems than they solve. At least for me.
I'm currently not feeling well at all right now, anxiety and depression. I've never really experienced this before and let me tell you, if you're a person with problems like this regularly, I'm so sorry.14
Just had a person ask me:
"Do I need to install crack for Netbeans?"
P. S. : Can't completely blame him, because Windows user.7
When will Microsoft stop ruining good products?
Xamarin was a decent enough platform untill MS got a hold of it. Now, you never know what the next update will break.
Skype is already lost to the MS darkness.8
After a chaotic & stressful Release Monday, I can't even begin to describe the joy I felt when I opened my mailbox.
May the tiniest sparks of light continue to brighten up my path through darkness! 🍻2
My definition of hell?
Being forced to debug nested callbacks abusing global variables & closures generated from from reflection...6
Had given my laptop at the repair store. They were just suppose to do a checkup and then give a choice on whether to repair or not. They repaired it and charged me 2.8K. No unit replacement or anything, just service. I didn't mind it (was actually happy seeing my laptop boot up and not have a blank screen). It's a dual-boot (Windows/Antergos(Arch-linux)). It booted to Windows instead of GRUB. Didn't care too much, because it had happened before and I had handled it.
After I take it back home, I discover that the WiFi doesn't work (it doesn't even seem to be a driver issue). Live boot of arch doesn't have access to WiFi either. Reinstalled GRUB, only to discover it doesn't boot successfully (issues with video card). So, now I'm stuck with fucking Windows WITHOUT WiFi and an arch-linux that doesn't fucking boot.
Gonna reinstall Arch now.
P. S. : Windows is super fast, because I haven't really used it and don't really like using it. I feel very limited by Windows.9
# The Darkness Triplet
- spotify client for ubuntu
- postman desktop version
Everything is good, but the memory consumption is insane...8
another chrome plugin that is AWSOME!!!
(It adds dark theme to google search results and more)
Thinking about transferring the majority project from mongo to MySQL. It makes sense rationally but - feels like there is a creeping darkness is looming over me.7
So I work at this company that is constantly making events and conferences to ease the coexistence between the developers on different projects, the thing is, I don't really care about it, I'd just be happy if I was left alone with my laptop to code all day.
When you're using an app with a dark theme for hours in completely darkness and then switch to one with a light theme3
TFW you open a brand new project after working on lines of code for months.
>closes last project
>at least 400 lines of code
>be me: "good bye my old friend."
>opens blank document
>hello darkness my old friend
The best thing about being a dev? The darkness that comes crawling out at night doesn't scare us. Even when we're alone we know we're protected by a magical screen of light.
Uuugh the 3rd of January first working day in my country, I am dreading 2018 already with the backlog of issues I decided not to fix in 2017 as if they'd magically disappear. Hello darkness my old friend...
Dr Lanning from I, Robot:
There have always been ghosts in the machine. Random segments of code, that have grouped together to form unexpected protocols. Unanticipated, these free radicals engender questions of free will, creativity, and even the nature of what we might call the soul. Why is it that when some robots are left in darkness, they will seek out the light? Why is it that when robots are stored in an empty space, they will group together, rather than stand alone? How do we explain this behavior? Random segments of code? Or is it something more? When does a perceptual schematic become consciousness? When does a difference engine become the search for truth? When does a personality simulation become the bitter mote... of a soul?
One day they'll have secrets... one day they'll have dreams.
It was about 2:30am.. The darkness had been dominating the outside for a while, and I was having issues with my partitions on my CentOS server. Yup that's correct. I think.
I really wanted to go to bed. Last thing I had to do, was re-allocate some space from centos-home to centos-root. But I fucked up, of course I did.
After about half an hour of making food and trying different stuff to solve the "Can't read superblock error" error, I found an answer that just lead to "Can't read secondary superblock error, sorry".
At least they apologize now lol.
I ended up trashing the centos-home volume (is volume and partition the same ?) and just smashing it all onto centos-root. I lost some data, but screw that, stuff is working and I'm not going to bed.
Yeah, stuff is working. I hope. No errors encountered yet.
Moral of the story: Home partition isn't needed and it's okay to kill it
Have you ever found a infinite task? Well, I did.
So, the software that I'm working now was under responsibility of another company for development and maintenance (I'll call them X) from 2014 to last month , and the company I work for was handling only with the business part. Now we took all the development for us as well.
This software has a lot of reports , so it has a lot of templates for this reports.
When X was handling the software, they asked the client and the old project manager if they wanted the templates to have the client's products dynamic (no need to change the template when adding a new product) or hardcoded for some products they already had, they choose hardcoded because it would be faster. Butterfly effect.
Fast forward to this week, the team leader designated a task for me, It looked easy at first, just fix 2 templates, easy.
Oh boy, I was so wrong.
I fixed the first template, discovering in the process the hardcoded things, had to add the product reference in a lot of places.
So i went to the second item, a super template that they use to put together some smaller templates.
It was really weird, I couldn't find all the templates that it was supposed to use, and I didn't really know the exact problem, the only thing I knew was that it was not being generated, the reason could be the super template itself or one of the 15 smaller templates, that could happen to have sub templates.
So I called the team leader and explained to him wtf was happening, he called the senior business analyst, that called the PM, we agreed that it would be infinite because of those fucking hardcoded things, they prepared a excel sheet with this and a lot of other problems and will send this to the client, explaining that we'll need a lot of time to put this new product up and running.
Now I'm in the middle of this shit storm seeing a time of darkness in the future.
Ps: This new product was supposed to be inserted in the software since last November, when it was under X responsability, and they analyzed it and said that it would take 190 hours to be completely done, the client refused. It was the first rain drop of what would become a shit storm.
Through the darkness of future past
The programmer longs to see
One chants out between two platforms:
CODE COMPILE FOR ME
Turn on colorful lights
Fire up some crackers
Browse places with friends
Reboot your inner system
😀 HAPPY DIWALI 😀
That moment when you neglect to study a DP problem you saw because you thought it was too hard.
But it shows up during your super important interview and you have no idea how to do it.
Hello, darkness my old friend.2
Am I the only one who want to learn programming and can't stop overreading about it and other connected stuff?
I feel I'm in deep darkness with my learning. I'm still writing those sample codes from books/video courses and can't motivate myself to come up with a piece of software to write myself.
It's some kind of loop which I can't break and move on.
I quit my electrical engineering studies after two years, to start IT studies, because I felt IT stuff is something I want to do rest of my life. Now, after first semester, I feel I'm in the same place I was before starting IT studies...
I'm lost devRant... Any ideas for helping me changing my life?4
if((fabs(a - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(b - 0.0) > 0.00001) ||
(fabs(c - 0.0) > 0.00001))
What have you seen dear traveller? What have you seen?2
My first internship.
The webdev department for a engineering company is in the basement. I was given a cubicle near the middle by the wall. The ceiling light was broken so I had to work in the dark... It was a 7-4 with no pay nor do they cover any expenses. I did manage to use the experience and got a job offer at a 'proper' software company in the end.
Use Swift Package Manager, they said.
I'll be great, they said.
"Note that at this time the Package Manager has no support for iOS, watchOS, or tvOS platforms." - https://github.com/apple/...
Just scared the SHIT out of myself after accidentally shorting the live and ground connections. Piece of advice: the probe on your oscilloscope (ground) is probably shorted to the live connection on its plug. DO NOT TOUCH IT AGAINST A LIVE PCB - YOU WILL CREATE A DEAD SHORT AND A REALLY LOUD BANG. Now the whole fucking house is in darkness, it's 11pm, and I'm too scared to get to the fusebox.2
For dark (side of the force) theme lovers, want to share this this great open source chrome extension I just found:
I really like the Dusk theme on Google and Facebook.1
!rant && silly
Well so I was thinking of ways to proposing to my non existent geek gf, so far I thought of
Would you do pair life programming with me?
How would you do it?4
Lovely Summer day outside (you don't get many of those in London), and the office I work at doesn't even have windows.5