Recruiter: Hello I’m recruiting for an exciting opportunity at a rapidly growing company with loads of potential

Dev: *Looks up company on google*

Dev: Their stock has been declining for the past 2 years. 3 months ago their valuation just dropped by 80%…. How are they growing?

Recruiter: Oh that happened to every company at the end of 2021.

Dev: …I guarantee you it did not.

Recruiter: …

Dev: …

I have been working for my current employer about 3 years now. When I first got to work I was asked by another employee to work on an editor for certain types of files. We will call this employee Ed. Because his name is Ed.

Ed is a verifiable genius, and a genuinely great guy to work with. He is amazing with hardware and math. Ed has a need, or shall I say fetish. He wants an editor for some our proprietary files called "Settings files". They are just xml. Nothing special.

However, I have always had other priorities. We actually had a tense moment when I had to tell Ed my boss doesn't want me to work on the editor. I had started looking into working on the editor when my boss said stop working on this file. So since then it had become a running joke between Ed and myself. Well, I think it is funny, Ed smiles, but I know he wants this editor bad. Our boss even suggested at one time that Ed write this editor. He looked into it, but "other priorities" trumped this effort.

Okay, so now it has been 3 years and we still don't have this editor. Then I had an epiphany. Since Ed wants this editor I found an idea for the name of this program. "Settings Editor" is just too mundane. I now think it should be called: "Mr. Edit". I also found that the library we use for most of our development has text to speech built in. So when the program starts I can have it say: "Hello, I am Mr. Edit, the talking Settings Editor". I have never wanted to write this program so badly before. Muahahahahaha!

Why hello there, your profile mentions you're not looking for an offer and lists PHP as a technology you don't want to work with.
Boi, are you in luck, cause I have that sweet PHP offer for you

!Rant

.net 6 + c# 10 is a blast to work with !

I double dare you to create hello world with less lines :) (It's actually 1 line in .net 6)

...another (probably about fourth) completely futile attempt at making MASM compiling pipeline work...

...what the fuck... seriously, i've spent together about two weeks of time trying to make a fucking default hello world compile... ml64 problems, then rc.exe problems, apparently i was missing some dumb CommonService.dll which not only doesn't exist anywhere on my computer, but it doesn't even seem to exist at all in this fucking dimension. After several hours I had the bright idea of "fuck MS rc, let's just grab any other random resource compiler that I can find, and see if that one works".

Funnily enough, it does. Except Visual MASM can't run it from it's build process because it fucks up the commandline call, so I need to run it manually, and then when I run the build from V-MASM, the rc call still fails, but then it checks for the resulting .res file and finds it, so it happily continues with success...

...and now fuckin... what even is it? *goes to check*
oh yeah, now linker is shitting itself:
LINK : fatal error LNK1104: cannot open file 'user32.lib'

And I'm just completely defeated, just searching system-wide for the lib intending to copy it into the linker folder because fuck this fucking bullshit, I've had enough of drowning in MS BuildTools versions and installations and uninstallations and fixes and modifys and repairs and all that FUCKING BULLSHIT.

HOW. THE. FUCK. is this in any way usable for anyone. I suspect nobody ever actually tried to build an assembler project in the last 30 years, so nobody noticed it DOESN'T. FUCKING. WORK.

THIS.
THIS is why I hate anything that's not a proper IDE where I install ONE thing, and do everything in that ONE IDE and let IT figure out all this linuxy-soft-coupled bullshit of twentyfuckingthousand fucking useless commandline apps threwn around the whole fucking system where I'm fucking supposed to know where the fuck what is and which version and GO FUCK YOURSELF.

GIMME. FUCKIN. ONE: IDE. WHICH. WILL. INSTALL. ALL. THAT. IT. NEEDS. TO. BE. FUCKING. ABLE. TO. FUCKING. WORK. AND. COMPILE. SHIT!!!

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK.

the moment you realize you need to plug a GPT chatbot as your support guy... is the moment when you should realize you fucked up your UX

hello, youtube!

Hello to all. Merry Christmas in advance :)

Any thoughts on my pl? I haven't started yet but I'm writing the grammar for it day by day:

include System;

EntryPoint Main(string arguments)
{
string greeting = "Hello";

App.Greeting.Write(greeting);

scope App
{
scope Greeting
{
void Write(string greeting)
{
Console.Out(greeting);
}

comment: Only accessible from within the Greeting scope.
internal scope User
{
comment: Get name of user.
void GetName() { }
}
}
}
}

Hello, today was my First day, internship at Microsoft innovation center BE, a great day with amazing people, my project is called tech Office, we need to process data from sensors in the office, create and use Microsoft AI to optimize and help the office become smarter and more efficient. Make the life better and the environment more productive. I don't really know where to start but I'm happy to be given such an opportunity and will do everything to make this work !

“Hello. Is there anyone can help me?”

Trying to detect keyup just from stdin be like,

non
tap
rel
hel
hel
hel
non

This is fucking me in the ass. Alright, time to go lower.

Prepare youre anus kernel, here comes Jurj.

Hello everyone. I am new here. Today is my first day here. And happy holidays to all.

App -> () {
out with "Hello, World!";
}

Hello. I have been doing IT for a very long time. And my computer is outdated. Where can I find money for a new computer?

Hello, people of devrant, i dont have alot going lately and im always trying to find new ways to make money, im still applying to jobs of this type, please visit my github, if anyone wants to reach me, please do so.

Hello to everyone...

Fuck Android development tools! What the fucking hell man?! I can't setup and run a simple hello world app!! And that's not the first time. I have tried this on multiple occasions throughout the years and always failed. Non-matching? multiple versions of build-tools, platforms, platform-tools, cmdline-tools, system-images, ... and binaries moving from folder to another between updates and Java, oh don't get me started on Java. I'm too old for this stuff.

Hello everyone I have taken a Thinkpad recently and it has ubuntu on it when I was going through it there was multiple accounts and I deleted them and came to a single account during this process I am facing a crash on my lappy when ever I set it out for sometime without using it or letting myself some rest as I know Ubuntu is an open source and I don’t want to install other OS or Windows on it. Can I fix this error crash in ubuntu.

Hello everyone
Wanna ask what is best solution to self host your own mail server ? It's for my graduation project

Console.log("Hello World");