It works perfectly most of the time..except few

"Hard times make good developers
Good developers create good frameworks
Good frameworks create bad developers
Bad developer make hard times" - Wisdom from internet

This is today's reality.

My cool new Elka 160. No rant today, just pure retrojoy.

- Go to sleep early
- Get up at 5-6
- Drink quality coffee
- Work at your desk not from the bed or couch
- Don't start new projects until the last one is done
- Have a good and healthy diet
- Excercise frequently

Essentially don't be like me... Be like anyone else but me and you'll do fine...

Silently change all the coffee to decaf

!Dev

Bought my first house :) 3 bedroom house to myself. It's insane to me.

Ok I now see why you all hate meetings so much. I am so pissed.

Mysql...

Just for fun

I don’t think I will ever be able to get used to this style of arrow-keys.

story of my life:

DO NOT MERGE

merged

Guys .... What you say about this when YOUR SENIOR do this....

daily random fact...

Finding a memory leak is the very definition of the journey where you start with "I hate everything" and end up with "I am GOD"

I always pull twice,
Just in case, git forgot something.

Two people banged 24 years ago. Now I have to go to meetings everyday

I die, go to hell and my punishment is to write software for hell network that is having power problems due to light source disruptions and is running on Windows 95 on FAT32 without any service pack.

Network speed is trough 300bps dial up modem. Protocol is over IPX/SPX.

My task is to write interactive websites that are replacement of modern websites but in VBScript, ActiveX, IE 4.0.

I have 10 managers that tell me what to do and scream when I miss deadline that is set everyday without my knowledge at random times.

They send me an email and 5 minutes later they arrive at my desk to ask me about it.

I must work 16 hours a day before I can leave the place and if I won’t show up police beats me and escorts me to the office.
If I’m late a second I don’t get payment.
I can’t afford to rent a place so I sleep in the sleeping bag.

It doesn’t matter much cause as soon as I fall asleep phone rings until I wake up and my manager screams about the problems he have for about an hour.

Build failed

How do you call a ridiculous protocol?

Protolol!

Parent: Your room is a mess
Me: You should see my code

*Flying slipper received*

I hate when a retard fuckstick user on FuckOverflow gives answer like this:
"I suggest a read of the documentation instead of only hacking around"

IF I'M ASKING A QUESTION IT'S BECAUSE THE fucking doc wasn't clear to me, it was longer than the dick of the horse that fucked your mother, or simply I didn't have the fucking time and I hoped somebody would help me out, you dumb fatherfucker

It's fun getting migraines when you have to stare at a screen for a living. 😐😒😒

Manager A : "You've done a great job, you'll get a X raise"
Manager A: "I was not able to negotiate it, but you'll get a X bonus to compensate for it"
*Manager A leave the society*
Manager B: "A bonus? Never heard of it"
Me : Resign.

The only response i wait for in my life is API response. And that doesn't give response too😫

"His graphs are bigger than mine."

🤐

It is very hard to make me mad.

But if you imply I "didn't do anything" or that my job is "easy" because all I do is just ”sit in front of a computer” 9 to 10 hours a day then you can go fuck yourself.

Them: "Could you send the password in an encrypted mail?"
Me: "Yea sure, what's your GPG public key?"
Them: "What's that? Can't you just encrypt it?"
Me: "Nvm, do you have Signal?"

This is happening to me many times.... Who else has the same!

Who can relate... 😂