Can totally relate to this

Debugging comments be like...

TLDR : I left a company which doesn't understand the concept of email id and passwords.

Me (trying to login to the alumni website) *no register user option*

Customer support - you've to click on forgot password to create an account.
Me - Wonderful

*clicks on reset password*
*enters employee id, name, email, father's name, DOB, date of joining , date of leaving, current city because apparently if I just enter my employee id it is as if they never knew me. Sigh*
*your password will be sent to your email id*

Me - okay. *waits for two weeks because I assumed someone will manually go and create my account and email me, considering the state of system. *

After two weeks,

Me - I still haven't received my password on email after I created my account. Can you please check?

After one week,

Customer support - you need to click on forget password if you forgot your password.

Me - *inventing new curse words* I have not forgot my password, I never received it in the first place!

After one week,
Customer support - yes you'll receive your password on your email id.

Me - *runs out of curse words* seriously dude?
* proceeds to reset password*
System - your password has been reset. Your new password will be sent to your email id. *apparently anyone can reset passwords if you have the employee id, which is an integer*

After a week

Me - Am I going to ever receive the password? I've tried generating passwords, resetting my password. I never get my passwords. What should I do!!

Customer support - yes you need to click on Forgot password.

Me - are you fucking kidding me!!!
You fuckers need to be fired and replaced by a FAQ page which has no question and just a single answer, because a peanut has higher IQ than you. For any questions you may have, just reset password. Goddammit idiots!
Also, which email id are you sending my passwords to?

Customer support - myname@oldcompany.com

Me - you do realize that this is the alumni website for the company. Alumni means ex members.
Being ex members, you can assume we don't have access to our company email ids obviously?

Customer support - yes.

Me - how am I supposed to get the password using my old email id then?

Customer support - you need to click on forgot password option.

I think I should probably move to the Himalayas for my anger management issues. Plus it'll be probably easier to throw idiots off a mountain.

Shared screen with a client over Skype. Showed them in Postman that their API wasn't working as expected. It was expecting a json. Instead it was giving error code 400 instead of 200.
Message :
"Error: No error. All OK"

I'll never forget the words of the client:

"Don't use all this fancy software, you don't know how to call APIs, open Internet Explorer or chrome and paste it in the bar. You'll see All OK, means all is okay."

*insert you dense mf meme here*

Hired a new backend Dev. He writes a script and sends it for testing...
Tester: "It's not working..."
Backend Dev: Goes to Mongo and deletes the tester's whole profile...

I cant control my laughter every time I remember this incident...He claimed it was a mistake, I don't think that it was a mistake...the tester had it coming...
"It's not working" that's all he says every time...I mean at least give me something to start with...!

.na .na .na .na .na .na

Boss - gives tasks to me. Timeline: 10 days.

Me - work hard and finish the solution in 3 days.

Boss- wtf is this. Do it properly.

Me - chills for 15 days. Submit the same earlier solution after that.

Boss - yes this looks nice now! Much better than your earlier work!

Me - dude seriously what kind of stuff do you smoke before coming to work?

She - So. Do you read ?

Me - Yes. Infact a lot. Daily. My life is filled with it.

She - Wow. Nice. So what do you read mostly ? Which one is your favourite

Me - Mostly Documentations. Vuejs documentation is my favourite followed by express and mongodb documentation. And yeah webpack. You should read them too. Then there is a book on ES6, 'Understanding ES6' by Nikolas S Zakas, famous author and programmer. Great stuff

"Occasionally stores something" 😂

Tldr :
Office Building : 1
Population: 5000
Number of PC users: 5000
No of Spare mice: 0

Day 1:
Training period commences.
My mouse laser sensor doesn't work.

Solution: Use this mouse to log in to your system.
Open the company portal.
Connect to vpn.
Enter username password.
Create a ticket for mouse replacement.
Done.

Day 3
I bring my own mouse.
Confiscated at security.
Becomes a security violation.

Day 9
I get a call from helpdesk.
Agent- what is the problem?
Me- my mouse is not working.
Agent- why?
Me- what do you mean? Something is wrong with the sensor.
Agent- clean the sensor.
Disconnects call.
Marks ticket as resolved.
Me- WTF just happened!

Naturally, I escalate the issue.

Day 15
Level 2 Agent- what happened? Why have you escalated the issue?
Me- I need a mouse, waiting since 2 weeks.
Him- No mouse is available
Me- you don't have a single spare mouse available in an office with 5000 PC users?
Him- no they're out of stock.
Me- when will it be back in stock?
Him- we will 'soon' launch a tender for quotations from sellers.
Me- time?
Him- 1 week.

Day 34

I email the head of supplies for the city office. Next day I get a used super small mouse, which doesn't have a left button. Anyways, I've given up hope now.

Day 45
I become a master at keyboard shortcuts.
Finish my training.
Get transferred to another city.
No mouse till date.

Surprisingly, this was one of the top recruiters in my country. Never knew, MNCs can be so so inefficient for such simple tasks.
Start-ups are way better in this regard. Latest tech, small community, minimal bureaucracy and a lot of respect and things to learn.

I swear all my clients are like these! I can probably teach a blind monkey faster than these idiots.

PC: marketoonist

Ex-Boss (62years old)- why do you wear a watch? Take it off.

Me (bewildered) - why? What happened?

Him - see I don't wear a watch also.
Come on, take it off.

Me - *took off my watch* now what?

Him - see. Now you can also look at the time using your mobile, like me. No need of watch. U should be modern.

Me- *WTF. Are u high or something, u fucking insane asshole? *
He was one weird piece of shit.

Useless Google Shortener API.
It allows 1M requests per day.
But has a max rate limit of 1 request/second. There are 86400 seconds in a day. Why are you giving a 1M requests limit then?

Maybe aliens haven't visited our solar system because we have one star...they would probably be looking for systems with 4 or 5 stars rating.

Well, a job offer valid for Charles Babbage.

Coming up next: MongoDB vs Docker

I wonder if those people who give unwarranted useless advice to developers go to their doctors and do the same thing.

- Doc, just make a small slit, take out old heart, put in a new one, connect everything back as before and stitch it. Easy peasy. Shouldn't take more than a few minutes.
- my leg is fractured. Just open it and tape it back. It is a hack job, but it'll make the client happy for now. It will be quickly done.
- I think I have cancer. Just write a script to kill it. Shouldn't be too difficult.

Fuckers.

After working with some clients, I've stopped believing cavemen are extinct.

Day 1 10:00 am
Login to email account (Zimbra)
Your password is incorrect (I entered it correctly, this was a permanent issue ,used to happen in the company with many employees)
Reset your password by logging into internal company portal.

11:00 am
Logged into company portal, somehow. 2 Mbps internet shared among 104 people, you can imagine the speed.
Reset email password
* your password has been sent to your email id*
Are you fucking kidding me? U have emailed me the password to the same email I can't log in to?
Where did the architecture designer get this top notch weed from?

Day 2
Asked HR to reset my password (using a colleague's email)

Day 3
No reply from HR yet

Day 4
I went to meet HR, she's on vacation. So they have 1 person managing the password reset, for 5000 people with no backup person. Cool.

Day 5
Your internal company password has expired. Check your email for link to create new password. This is some next level shit going on.

Day 6
I called up Internal IT team to generate a new email for me.
They asked me to raise a ticket.
I can't raise a ticket because the only way to do so, is through the portal.

Day 7
Nothing. Btw, personal email and all social networks were banned. You can't even open stackoverflow.
And this was a research lab, amazing huh?

Day 8
Loss of pay for 4 days since I can't login to company portal to fill timesheet.

Day 9
HR comes back. Resets my password.
I try to generate my new password for portal.
The password policy:
Password can't be same as last 10 passwords
Passwords expire every week
8 characters minimum, 2 upper case, 2 lower case, NO SPECIAL SYMBOL. WTF. How long do u think its gonna take to crack that?

Fuckers had a company wise policy to automatically lock PC every 1 min if not used. Who the fuck can keep on using it continuously! I'm reading an article, and bam ! Locked. 2 wrong entries and that's it, repeat all steps again. Fuckers really didn't want to let me do my job, just keep on logging in all day.

Your resume:
Git
SSL
Vue
Angular
React
Node
Spring boot
MySQL
MongoDb
HTML
CSS
Java
Javascript
Bootstrap
Cassandra
Hive
Hadoop
Block chain
GraphQL
Kubernetics
Jenkins
Azure
GCP

Interviewer:
Sorry, we need someone who knows AWS

Uncle- What do you do?

Me- I'm a software engineer

Uncle- My brother's friend's son is also a software engineer.

Me- (so what am I supposed to do about it?) yes that's nice

Uncle- I have a great idea, u should implement, I'm just telling you, it is a revolutionary idea

Me- (oh fuck, not again) yes tell

Uncle- you should make a matrimonial site which tracks what people do on internet and tell their to-be-spouses about it

Me - (yeah, I'll get sued for breach of privacy, and it has got nothing to do with my current line of work, and will probably cause divorces before marriage) yes great idea uncle

Uncle- see I told you this billion dollar idea, u should do hard work and make it

Just WHY in god's name do all uncles think laptop is a magic box in which I just have to type their idea in and it will spit out a website/software in 2 minutes. I don't go around advising them about their line of work.

I wonder if Bill Gates actually wants to donate someone money, will it still end up in spam.

Some Romanian "Hacker" is trying to hack my forum xD

He tried to call the setup script for PhpMyAdmin, but I don't even have PhpMyAdmin installed because I use MongoDB xDDD

I'm lying on the floor laughing

At an interview, the first round was an online coding round. Two questions, one easy one hard, 90 minutes, easy peasy.

I solved the hard one first.
A bit of good logic, followed MVC pattern, all done. Worked flawlessly.
Submitted code. Online compiler threw up an internal error citing java is an invalid command(jdk not found).
Called the invigilators. What I heard next, I couldn't believe this shit.
"We're not responsible for any errors you may be having. Figure it out yourself"
I was like WTF dude. This is not even a compilation or runtime error!
After a heated discussion, I made him look at the code.
Him - what is all this classes and all? Why haven't you written everything inside the main function?
Me - those are model classes. Those are different helper functions. That is a recursive function to avoid 5 for loops and use divide and conquer. Ever heard of OOP? what kind of person writes a 300 line program inside one function?
Him - no no we write it like that only. Correct this.
Me - I fit everything inside the main function. Still the same error, java not installed. Called the idiot to have a look at it.
Him - yeah your code is wrong.
Me - may I know what's wrong with it? Can you fix it please?
Him - no no we aren't allowed to see the code (he had already read it twice. It was compiling and running perfectly, locally) .
Yeah you solved only 1 problem, you were supposed to solve 2.
Me - yes because the rest of the time I had the pleasure of your company. (It isn't everyday that I see talking buffoons.)

True story.

The Adventures of my Project Manager.
--- Part 1

a little back story first:
-----------------------------
The project manager is the CEO's younger brother.
-----------------------
end of back story.

PM: Hey, we should stop using Nodejs on our API.
ME: Why?
PM: I don't see why it is necessary when we could make our android app talk directly with MongoDB.
.................
ME: QUE?!

Dear recruiters,
if you are looking for

- Java,Python, PHP
- React,Angular
- PostgreSQL, Redis, MongoDB
- AWS, S3, EC2, ECS, EKS
- *nix system administration
- Git and CI with TDD
- Docker, Kubernetes

That's not a Full Stack Developer
That’s an entire IT department

Yours truly #stolen

Arrived today, hyped!

I have real-world experience with MongoDB, MySQL, Firebase, and caching with Redis.

A colleague in ops recommended this book a while back and I thought I'd give it a whirl to better understand what other options I have available.

At one of my previous companies, there was a guy, let's call him X.
X was the ideal employee.
X used to come to office at 8.
X used to go to sleep in AC office.
X used to wake up at 10 when everyone started coming in.
X used to play Uno and Pokemon Go till 6.
X was a master in Uno and Pokemon Go.
X used to wait till 8 to get free cab facility.
X didn't do one single productive piece of shit whole day.

My boss loved X Because he came early and left late.
My boss didn't give a damn if that person even switched on his laptop or not.
My boss didn't care about productivity.
I didn't come on time and didn't leave on time (I travelled in non-traffic hours)
I slogged my ass off because I really wanted to learn.
My boss scolded me, asked to be like X.
This was the last straw.
I resigned the next day.

I never wanted to be like X. Seeing him daily, motivated me so much.
When I worked, I focussed on it, I didn't keep checking the clock waiting for it to hit 5 pm.
I aimed for productivity, set realistic targets and always achieved them, no matter what.
My boss was an a--hole. I met X and Boss recently. Both are still in the same role, just scraping through.
Felt really good that I worked hard and have achieved something in life ^_^

So, the HR has made it mandatory to fill a Google form,
fill in info about yourself (name, employee ID),
your family (name, address),
and select radio buttons for symptoms like fever,cough, cold.

You must fill this form DAILY, and if you miss filling the google form, it will be Loss of pay for whole day.

Yes, so if I have contracted coronavirus, and am running a high fever, first thing I'll do is login, open a shitty ass google form and select a bunch of stupid radio buttons.

And if I'm not ill, I'll still go and fill this form every single day.

Because fuck logic.

That awkward moment when I was able to run three docker containers on a 512MB server:
1. DotNet core web service
2. MySQL
3. OpenVPN

BUT I cannot run:
1. NodeJs web service
2. MongoDB container

Spent two hours configuring the damn server to get hit by this T_T

a dude just DROPPED the whole Fu**ing mongodb cluster. like Right Now.

multiple databases, expanding multiple projects.

fortunately in dev. but dunno how much data is recoverable.

I always thought that this could only happen with big orgs with precious data. One of my coworkers sent me this last night

At 4pm, after 6 hours of work of migrating from mysql to mongodb...
I am drinking coffee with my team.
Boss, comes from somewhere and asks...

what do you all want? (What he meant was, go back to work you all)

One of my team member- (angry and agitated) says-- a comfortable sofa.

Holy fuck, i laughed my ass out.

Guess what happend next...

MongoDB: Snapchat for databases.

I quit my job. Today was my last day. Feels so good to get rid of the toxic workplace attitude.
I really wish someday managers understand the difference between an estimate and deadline, will reduce the pressure on devs.

I'm glad that I can take a break and explore what I want to do next 😀

I resigned today 😍
No more dealing with shit architecture and experimental beta technologies being used in production which went down constantly 😎
Back to good ol' product development! 🤩
One month notice period to go

Made a simple college project using Node.Js, MongoDB, React... Wrote everything from scratch, starting from HTML to CSS and Routes even OAuth. No template was used.. Guess what teacher said...

She said I love the second project made using wordpress template because, "It looks amazing and beautiful"

One of the reasons why I hate college...

Schrödinger's warranty

When you're searching the missing parenthesis of your MongoDB query 😂😂😂

At the company I worked for earlier, they'd blocked two USB ports citing security policies. The third USB, was unblocked because the system admin didn't know a laptop can have more than 2 USBs .
Gigabit LAN was open.
They just wanted you to copy stuff at higher speed, I think.
If you think blocking a couple of USB ports is going to stop a dev from copying data, well either you're unbearably stupid, or think too less of your devs. It is just gonna hinder their productivity, nothing else.

„I have secured our mongodb by setting the dbpath deeper than 20 folders by using more than 256 chars. To protect us from windows hacker boys.“

😂

I swear I'm going to punch the next mf who asks me to hack FB.

Doesn't seem so bad to me...

That moment when the practical work supervisor don't understand why you don't use netbeans because he thinks that MongoDB is a netbeans plugin.

!rant
Linux vs Microsoft

Well, this war is certainly one of the oldest. IMO,
Linux - great for automating stuff, free, and customisable.
Windows - user friendly, softwares much more easily available, much easier to use.

Frankly, I have tried using Linux a lot of times, but never liked it one bit. I am a GUI fan and hate to type commands for every little thing. Plus installing Ubuntu wiped out my disk once and I lost all my school memories ( this was in 2008, I didn't know much about backups, was quite young) ,so I am quite vary of it. I just don't feel it to be intuitive. Just to do a simple task, I loathe to learn difficult commands, and just read the syntax.

However, I have no bias against people who use Linux.

It is like religion, live and let live, follow whatever suits you.

On devrant, why's there so much hate for Windows? Because it is paid? Because it has updates? So what!
I never had a problem with it, I update once a month, takes 10 mins. If you set up your active hours correctly, it works great, you can disable updates also. Windows 10 is highly stable. It is paid, but in my country almost all laptops come with windows preinstalled. The OS-less laptops are about $10 cheaper, which is not that much to freak about.

Would love to hear your views and logical arguments.
Please be polite.

Well, fuck. The CTO of our startup decided to migrate data of our hundred thousand customers from a stable functioning platform to an in-house unstable platform with severe performance issues, to "save" costs, despite our repeated requests. He made us not have any contingency plans because he wanted to "motivate" us to complete the migration.

Result- we have a thousand customers reporting major issues daily, which is causing loss of revenue to both us and them. The company ran out of funding. Most of the team members were fired. And he's expecting the rest of us to magically fix everything. Dunno what kind of office politics is this, in which you're sabotaging Your Own company.

Looking for a new job now to get out of this hellhole. I really used to love this company. Feels sad to see it ruined like this.

Wrote angular service, named it "MongoService", handles calls/requests to mongodb. Spent an hour wondering why it wasn't running one of my functions from controller. Just realized I am calling MangoService instead of Mongo. Lord help me.

Age++;

Why the fuck didn't I start to learn mongodb sooner 😶

I love it already!

That awesome moment when you're hailed as God Of Internet, and all you've done is just restart the router :D

!rant
After nine months of work, my capstone project is finally coming together.

It's an audio server written in Node.JS and MongoDB. I can run it on a pi plugged into a stereo and remote control it from my phone via the web server.

Friend: Hey, so what do you do?

Me: I build backend systems and apis. I work with java/mongodb. I dable into some elixir and kotlin on my free time.

Friend: Cool, can you build me an Android app?

Hey guys!
Just joined devRant! Can't wait to get more involved!
Bored in the lockdown, I built an app which lets you chat with people around you.
Its called Cyrcl!
Built in over ~40 days, I was the sole developer.
Here is the tech stack - React native for the android and ios apps, mongodb and redis for the database, nodejs for the server and aws ec2 for the hosting!
I'd love to get some feedback, or discuss some of the hacks!
- Ardy

TLDR - you shouldn't expect common sense from idiots who have access to databases.

I joined a startup recently. I know startups are not known for their stable architecture, but this was next level stuff.
There is one prod mongodb server.
The db has 300 collections.
200 of those 300 collections are backups/test collections.
25 collections are used to store LOGS!! They decided to store millions of logs in a nosql db because setting up a mysql server requires effort, why do that when you've already set up mongodb. Lol 😂
Each field is indexed separately in the log.
1 collection is of 2 tb and has more than 1 billion records.
Out of the 1 billion records, 1 million records are required, the rest are obsolete. Each field has an index. Apparently the asshole DBA never knew there's something called capped collection or partial indexes.

Trying to get approval to clean up the db since 3 months, but fucking bureaucracy. Extremely high server costs plus every week the db goes down since some idiot runs a query on this mammoth collection. There's one single set of credentials for everything. Everyone from applications to interns use the same creds.
And the asshole DBA left, making me in charge of handling this shit now. I am trying to fix this but am stuck to get approval from business management. Devs like these make me feel sad that they have zero respect for their work and inability to listen to people trying to improve the system.

Going to leave this place really soon. No point in working somewhere where you are expected to show up for 8 hours, irrespective of whether you even switch on your laptop.
Wish me luck folks.

Does linux suck? Imho, Yes.
A lot of the people bash windows regarding automatic restarts, updates, bsod etc.
I may be unusually lucky, but the last bsod I saw was in 2014 because of a faulty synaptics driver.

I've really tried to use linux to see what the hype is all about. Quite frankly, it sucked. The first time it wiped out all my data, I realized the value of backups. Hence I do not have a single pic of my school now, thanks to complicated ubuntu mounting.
Next is driver support. When I plug in a device, I expect it to work. I don't want to spend a day googling for drivers.
Why the fuck would I want to use a black terminal which gives me a headache. Am I in 1980? Which sadistic asshole designed vim ?
I have seen linux developers who claim to be linux experts and love linux. They take so long to do simple shit. For god's sake don't tell me there are GUI versions of linux available. I'd rather work in windows 95.
Why in the world would anyone want to use ls to see the contents of a directory! It is seriously so fucking unproductive.
I can't just download a software, click next a couple of times, and be done. No no no. I've to do sudo apt get update. Then try to find the fucking package. And if all goes well, there's always the dependency issue which is going to bite me in the ass. If google and stackoverflow go down, most linux devs will die a cruel death.

Fuck you linux.
I'm not saying windows 10 is the best, but at least I don't have to crawl through shit to use it. If you don't like automatic updates, disable it you moron. It is easier than renaming a damn file in linux.

What's everyone's thoughts on MongoDb. Should I learn it? What's some good use cases?

PC: IG @coderhumor

That feeling when you try to get entries from a mongodb and it doesn't put out anything, not even errors and after 4 FUCKING HOURS trying, googling and looking around on stackoverflow, you realize THAT THE PROGRAMM DIDN'T EVEN CONNECT TO THE DATABASE

That's the stupidest problem I ever had IN MY ENTIRE FUCKING LIFE

Thanks devRant, I feel better now.

>Get password vom dev.
>Try to connect to MongoDB.
>Had some changes in how to connect because of Kubernetes and stuff.
>Always get authentication error.
>copy password again
>stop and restart portforwarding
>wait almost 1,5h (was lunchtime) for DevOps guy
>sit next to him and ask for help
>he unhides the password and deletes two spaces...

fml

Getting inappropriate non-dev results for dev search queries always makes me happy

Status: 200
Res.body: errMsg: err is undefined

That's real helpful mongo

Five years learning how to build normalized information schemas to end up designing denormalized DBs.

When you work with Redis after working on MongoDB... XD

I once found a MongoDB cluster open to the internet with no authentication with nearly a terabyte of data that backed a CRM service whose customers included Microsoft and Adobe to name a few.

So last semester, my college made a class compulsory to attend.
We were taught, "How to install MongoDB on Windows"...
With screenshots, not even live installation.

I wanted to die.. So much.. 😖

Experience using MongoDB Atlas? Sure...

What would you answer if your IT support asks: "What do you use to connect to MongoDB, Internet Explorer or Chrome?"

You have to assume mongodb didn't make it that far 😁

My Friends: Celebrating XMas together
My Family: Celebrating XMas together
Me: Celebrating XMas by reading MongoDB docs 😏😏

There is no better way to celebrate xmas

My ex-boss who had 35 years of experience in IT Industry, didn't know one single fucking coding language, obviously had no clue about source control or anything even remotely related to computers, and had been project manager of a project having over 1 million lines of totally undocumented code split into 389 files with no apparent structuring. All variables were either alphabets or names of programmers who developed them.
Code was in Python 2 and had bugs/line ratio ~= 5.
He asked to write a 'wrapper' class and somehow run it in Java and fix all bugs automatically. (insert Shia LaBeouf's magic GIF here)

When I said it doesn't make sense, he said you should put in hard work and do it, and not give excuses.
Time given to do this - 1 hour :-P

Good thing I quit that shit place and that pathetic moron. Love my new job and life! :D

Seriously managers should trust their developers and allow some degree of freedom. It helps a lot.

"Losing data is a feature". Why Snapchat loves MongoDB.

Yayyy! 3000 ++ , I have a glass desk now 😍

Thank you devRanters for being so awesome and always cheering me up! :D

mongo in slang means idiot, which comes from the term mongol or mongoloid, which is a deprecated word that used to be used for sufferers of down syndrome. So MongoDB means "Down Syndrom Data Base"

Also mongo means huge, so it may have been named after that.

I recently met Mongo and my life has changed forever.

Okay karma, why?!

I made some backup scripts, it should dump our MongoDB every 30 Minutes... Nope I didn't test if there's something in the tar and yes it's my fault but now we needed this backup AND THE ONLY BACKUP SCRIPT WHICH DIDN'T WORK WAS THE ONE WHICH BACKUPS THE DATABASE...

COME OOOOON

If only nodejs, mongodb and stuff are taught in my university instead of goddamn php and mysql

Least favorite enterprise software: MongoDB...

"Ensure all writes" is still a suggestion that sometimes works.

My God, MongoDB + GraphQL is one of the best combo in JS. Absolutely loving it!

I think I should start a startup which makes chairs in shopping centres for tired boyfriends/husbands.

I will close you all soon.

JSON: "Ok fine you can use our syntax and everything else but make sure you change the name of the format so people know there is a difference"

MongoDB : "K"

Dark-themed IDE + back-lit keyboard + coffee + headphones = best coding environment ^_^

Though there's always that one asshole who decides to talk to you Only when you're in the zone.

Which Linux flavour should I install in my newly ordered ssd ?
My usage will be
vscode, chrome, mongodb,
android studio

Please take consideration of ease in installing hardware drivers. Didn't want to waste so much time on it.

I see the industry evolving into dna-mutilated JS hipster virgins who use neuronal networks for even the simplest tasks an jerk off on MongoDB queries during their breaks while thinking of GraphQL queries.
Naughty.

Front-End-Programming
“because you follow MongoDB”

Twitter, what’s this shit? 😡😡😡

git commit -am "trying to make the fucking database work locally"

thank you node-mongodb-native docs for these comments, I would have not figured those out

From the web!

Started to learn nodejs REST, with mongodb, either the service is too light (still only has login) or mongodb is too fast, I've never seen that speed in fetching a single user with 6 properties in its json response, it takes 15ms on my laptop when a dot net core service + MySQL takes at least 70ms

I always feel odd when I hear about MongoDB. Cuz mongo is a German curse word for someone with down syndrom...

When you migrate from PHP 5.6 to PHP 7, if you use MongoDB, be careful, the driver is not the same ! So you have to rewrite your implementation !

I want to create something crazy with this architecture, what do you think?

You know it is gonna be "fun" integrating client APIs, when all of them respond with
"Thanks for submitting the request"
And no error or status code whatsoever, no matter what you send.

Also, the client likes to test/call this API in Internet explorer address bar, and doesn't trust Postman. Amazing shit dude.

Made my first Node.js Todo list today! Got myself a new front end design tool, Bootstrap Studio (50% off). Learned about REST, using Node as an API and MongoDB and Angular! Had a lot of fun learning and I would recommend it to anyone that's a Node.js beginner. I want to do a video tutorial series on Node.js, is that a good idea?

Fuck React!
Fuck BCryptjs!!
Fuck Insomnia!!!
Fuck ExpressJs!!!
Fuck MongoDB!!!!!!
Fuck Case sensitivity!!!
Fuck Nodemon!!!!
Fuck coding!!!!!

I'll be old and grey before MongoDB finishes installation. 👩🏻‍💻↘️🤶🏼

It's been a year since I first entered the world of development.

Let's see what I have accomplished so far:

Learned:
Java, J2EE, Node.js, Python, Django, Android, Angular, html/css, Rxjs, RxJava, Linux, MySQL, Mongodb, Docker, Heroku, AWS

Projects:
All unfinished.

Job:
Still working in IT security goddammit.

Fucking hell. Why am I so good at learning but shit at working?

Fucking mongodb I swear to god what is your problem, why do you close all connections after successful authentication you piece of concentrated crapjuice and why is the best information you can give me a pissing "Connection ended" message your demonic unholiness?

Stick a cactus up your rear, pot included

Fucking mongodb... the name is really fitting "mongol db"..
I get that a NoSQL db can be very useful but holy crap mongodb is shit..

Even better is the security.. holy shit it's insecure..

"Just use the configuration to only allow 127.0.0.1" stfu that shit apparently doesn't work on fucking centos..

And yes my customer did get hacked
And yes they did blame me
And yes I did have a backup

A great and very common web attack is known as 'SQL injection'.

So if I am using MongoDB, does that become 'NoSQL injection'?

Convince me otherwise

Just had a discussion with a coworker. I noticed he was storing dates as string in mongodb, saying it was better for comparison and because he stored them in UTC. WTH, mongo already stores all dates in UTC and a string date is imposible to compare. I wasted 8 hours finding that last part out.

Today was a SHIT day!

Working as ops for my customer, we are maintaining several tools in different environments. Today was the day my fucking Kubernetes Cluster made me rage quit, AGAIN!

We have a MongoDB running on Kubernetes with daily backups, the main node crashed due a full PVC on the cluster.

Full PVC => Pod doesn't start
Pod doesn't start => You can't get the live data
No live data? => Need Backup
Backup is in S3 => No Credentials
Got Backup from coworker
Restore Backup? => No connection to new MongoDB

3 FUCKING HOURS WASTED FOR NOTHING

Got it working at the end... Now we need to make an incident in the incident management software. Tbh that's the worst part.

And the team responsible for the cluster said monitoring wont be supported because it's unnecessary....

I - Lets move your database to mlab. They offer 512mb database for free, every month. That is beyond your lifetime usage

Client - No. They Steal Data ( Like Facebook )

And client don't know a shit about mlab and development. Aware of quite a few names, bigrock, godaddy, bluehost. Even AWS is not in the list

- mlab is mongodb database service

Running Windows on crappy hardware is the worst!! takes forever to install or upgrade SQL Server.

Sad story:
SSHd to a vultr server, downloaded MongoDB docker (approx 170MB) download and extracting 70% of the image was done faster than me navigating from devRan notifs page, to devRant feed page, I need a new internet plan T_T

Day after I publish a blog about mongoDB

Are any of you guys colourblind?
If yes, I would love to know if you encounter any issues due to it, and how you deal with them.

I think the reason most people hate frontend these days can be summed up by the fact that the frontend of my fairly simple React webapp is about 850 loc while the entire Express and MongoDB server is a mere 234 loc

God damn frontend is a lot of work these days

What cloud service does DevRant use?

Aws Or Azure?
And how much do you pay a month for maintenance costs?

What tables to store data? MongoDB, dynamoDB, oracle?
Or S3 streams?

Just wondering.

Thanks MongoDB for introducing transactions (ACID) in 4.0 version ... This is really going to help a lot.

Have @dfox and @trogus abandoned devrant? The credit card that they've set for billing will expire/foreclose and one day devrant will just go down.
Does anyone have a backup of all rants and comments? Do we have any backup meeting place (bot free)?

!Rant

For a school project i had to develop a copy of Skype, This had to be able to run in Linux OSx and Windows, Any suggestions about what to use ?
I thought to node js electron for the app and node + mongodb or rethinkdb as a back end

Definitely when my boss got me super hyped up that we were gonna start using MongoDB/node.js/angular or react, I spent hours learning the languages.

Then he comes up to me a few weeks later and decides to “pivot”

I wanted to cry. Back to coldfusion

I thought I'd seen the worst possible code.
Until I saw this stored procedure. It was forming a string of JSON by concatenation of double quotes and queries in between.
No wonder it took upwards of 200 seconds to insert just one record.

Playing around with Node.

I always had this mentality that I shouldn’t rely on a certain library or framework for my entire project because what if one day they stop supporting it. (Yeah I’m talking to u vuetify) That’s why I came up with this code structure that for everything that I wanna do I have a ‘driver’ library all coded by myself that interacts with that third party framework or library so if they stop supporting it I could just change a couple of lines of code in my driver file and my codebase should be working again. But I feel like this ‘driver’ approach is not the most efficient way of going in terms of memory usage. Do you guys think I should keep it simple and directly use those libraries or this is actually not a bad approach.

Tech Hiring is so cooked now. Every job posting I see is like this

Must have 5+ years experience in:

TypeScript, FastAPI, Kubernetes, Java Spring Boot, PHP, Angular, React, Vue, CI/CD, DevOps, AWS, TensorFlow, Machine Learning, Flask, Flutter, Swift, Android Studio, Blockchain, ROR, Perl, Redux, Clojure, C, C++, C#, Golang, PostgreSQL, MongoDB, DynamoDB, Java.

Please don't apply if you don't fulfill all of the requirements.

Today I tried to make an asp.net app and publish it to iis all without the help of Visual Studio. This is teribly difficult!
Then I had a great idea for website to store my .ppt and .doc files (and other school shit) with mongodb and tried node.js as backend. Holy shit did I really host everything all in 10 lines of js!?!?!!! Comment some great tutorials.

MongoDB
Express
Golang
Angular
Node.js

MEGAN, aka the White Girl Stack.

Clients wanted a simple backend to be deployed specifically on Apache. Used PHP. Spoke to them and they were fine with PHP .... Until I delivered the application. Told me how bad a developer I am to not use the MEAN stack. Didn't even pay.

When it comes to choosing a database,  What is the best for a Java project?

1.SQL - MySQL
2.NoSQL- MongoDB

Holy shit! Since when was mongodb a publicly trading company... and 272 a share wtfffff

seems like i gotta start a non ACID database company sometime soon!

I want to smack the next person who tells me what AI can do. As hard as I can.
Fuck the internet and what it has become.

so if i get this correctly :

1. mongodb( community server) is going to create some files in my system which will be called "databases/collections/document bullshit via its own special process called mongod (similar to mysql , but ok)

2. my python flask app is going to connect to it via its official driver pymongo (which could be used directly)
3. mongoengine is a library (more of a wrapper on pymongo) providing "easy ways for connecting mongodb via pymongo" (which again could be used directly)

4. flask-mongoengine is library (more of a wrapper on mongoengine providing "easy ways for connecting mongodb via mongoengine via pymongo" (which again could be used directly)

5. flask-pymongo is some another bullshit library/wrapper that took away 6hours of mine which again is "A FUCKING WRAPPER PROVIDING EASY WAYS FOR CONNECTING TO MONGODB VIA PYMONGO"

seriously, fuck web development. Why can't the original driver (i.e pymongo from mongodb devs) could have simpler wrappers? and why does my fucking tutorial instructor had to use the most fucking rarely used flask-mongoengine (which i accidently read as flask-pymongo and got f**ked) to teach newbies? fucking day wasted trying to understand this crap.

I don't like monnopolies, but its somewhat good that the mobile environment is still in the hands of nononsense players like google and oracle(java) . atleast we don't have people releasing wrapper over wrapper over wrapper and then fighting about which wrapper is better to use.
Like , even when devs started cmplaining that android dbs are too difficult to understand, google themselves created an actively supported wrapper that shutted down the fight over which wrapper to use(sqldelight, realm,sql bright etc)

Experimented with these logos to create stickers.

How do you folks handle your pagination at backend?

I was initially using skip and limit. But that is prone to error.
Then I thought about using last sent items id and using its created_at time and fetching rows/documents after that. But that too is prone to error ( more than one can have same timestamp) hence either having data repeats or data That gets missed.

What is your goto strategy for pagination?

Netbeans, because its awesome!! no other explanation lol

Fucking mongo, fucking nested documents in nested documents that need to be filtered. I'm either really fucking dumb, the query is hard or both.

Windows Subsystem for Linux has given me more problems in the last 48 hours than any other "os". Npm barely wants to function and God forbid I run mongodb.

So... We're going to totally rewrite one of our web applications at work. It's currently written using the .NET framework, and we're moving to Node.js instead. For me, that's absolutely wonderful! Outside work I practically only work with Node, so I'm happy. There is just one thing that's bothering me. My colleague wants to use MySQL for the database. Even worse is that he's the one deciding, since I started working there just a couple of weeks ago.

Now, I really, really want to use Mongodb. It integrates so wonderfully with Node together with Mongoose, and just the thought of using JSON everywhere makes my body shiver of satisfaction.

So therefore I have two questions.

A. Would you prefer Mongodb over MySQL for a node application?
B. How the hell can I convince him to use Mongodb?!

Cheers!

I'm still unable to find a single advantage of using the Firebase Database over MongoDB, yet people keep suggesting me to do so.
WHY? I can host Mongo for free on my own server and won't have to worry about *READING* costing money!

You guys heard of the MEAN Stack?
I'm currently learning it...

It is basically the combination of MongoDB, Express.js, AngularJS and Node.js

I remember back then when we were building an E-commerce website. To maintain good performance the boss insisted using flat table. This was also applied to other projects like GPS. That was already 2013 when NoSQL databases like MongoDB was around already. His concern is he didn't like to risk on new technologies and it would cost money for training instead of using the existing "MySQL" and Microsoft SQL Server.
Everything I learned from that guy was just poop.

Why is it so hard to install mongodb on ubuntu 16.04? I've spend 3 hours installing that junk.

Probably that one time we lost to a shitty app that was of no use to the community and literally scammed the opinion of the jury.

Their concept was a webapp that would suggest a room to study to a student on our campus. It was called "is it free/vacant" but should've been called "is it open" since there is no way of knowing how many seats are occupied, etc.

The jury was amazed, the app was worthless, literally 15 minutes of coding, presentation had a shit ton of buzz words like "were using mongodb to store the classrooms", was just fucking horrible

On the same competition a guy tried to enter his company that was developing the Facebook page managing app for Windows phone, already having a working app and making revenue from it for at least a year lol

We still got second place, but it was a really disappointing second place, shit was rigged yo

The MEAN Stack with Firebase connected to Angular instead of an ExpressJS Server and without ExpressJS and MongoDB. -

Hi folks of Devrant,

I’m looking for a remote job.
I’ve built multiple products over 10 years in startups and have skills in C#, Java, AWS, and SQL.

I’d appreciate any referrals if you know someone hiring.

Not sure if posts like this are allowed. I'll delete if it breaks the rules.

The 16 MB document size restriction of MongoDB makes me wonder how any dev uses it to build monolithic apps.

Just 5 days? What. Some technical problems take years to solve and you auto-close threads after just 5 days? Why you do this MongoDB 🗑️

!rant
I built a webinterface a few months ago. it was based on the php framework laravel. but i want to change to nodejs in combination with mongodb.
do you know good nodejs mvc frameworks similar to laravel?

Can we just agree that mongodb is shit and we all would just be happy without it?
Its the example of all things that should not exist.

MongoDB and java is aids.

I suck at DevOps at least as hard as I'm good at front-end/UX. I found out as a result of the local job market starting to get needy for 'full-stack'. Stuck for 2 days on setting up a Docker/ Dockerhub/ DigitalOcean/ Bitbucket pipeline with Nginx/ Node/ MongoDB Cloud & Webpack/ React.

*Sigh*

Has anyone here used MongoDB for relational databases? I am trying to use MySQL with Node but I feel like the whole thing is a mess. There are some ORMs like Knex or Sequelize for MySQL but they are pretty crap. I am thinking if I should just move onto MongoDB instead of MySQL, at the same time I feel a little dirty to store relational data in a document store :(

its hard to keep yourself updated with apis, specially when you are nodejs/javascript developer.

Creating a simple application to keep track of changes in api and inform the subscribers about changes.

Stack - Vue.js (quasar), nodejs, mongoDb

What certifications do you guys have, and which do you recommend having?

I'm currently pursuing AWS Developer Assosiate, and in the future Google certified Android developer and MongoDB developer.

Been thinking about Docker but it costs too much

Just spent all morning adding my own user account to my local MongoDB because some network security guy found I was running an unprotected server on my PC....

I tried all the admin roles to get full access across all databases I have but none worked....

Until I see one at the bottom of the official documentation:

root

I am building a web application which is multimedia centric (mostly video chat). Text to Speech and vice versa.
I have chosen Node with mongoDb as backend API with React Frontend.
What stack would you suggest for such an application?

Rails, React, React-Native, Docker, Kubernetes, Openstack, Jenkins, AWS, Microservices, Realm, MongoDB, PostgresQL, GraphQL (list goes on...), and I'm not even done yet.

6 months was spent learning all of the above because I found a Rails-only monolith on Heroku unsettling. My first batch of containers was just deployed and I couldn't be happier. Love my job.

So I accidentally used an email as a username to create an account through Jira for mongodb to report a bug.. That apparently breaks the entire Jira login system. I cant recover my account, and I can't create another account because my email is already in use.. Thanks Jira for deciding I'm going to bar before I go home today...

Who is doing this to me *sobs*, mongoose or MongoDB? 😥😥

I'm adding new records (array) to an embedded document, but the first record to be added gets duplicated, even with the same ID and stuff :(..

Was using Callbacks, switched to promises, still the same.

😥😥😥😥😥

So the age of enshittification continues.

Apple is working on IPhone Air, which is rumored to be 5-6mm thick. I am sure Samsung will follow suit.

Why the fuck can't I have a simple bloody phone which just works for calls, texts and I can hold it without it feeling like cutlery.
I do not want to play games on a 6" device and give myself carpal tunnel.

I have switched to S22 Flip phone (dumbphone), it works flawlessly, lasts for days on a single charge.

ANYONE USING MONGOOSE HERE?!!

TypeError: User is not a function.

That User is a Schema. I've been searching for so long now and I can't seem to find a way to make this work. Sorry for being desperate that I had to ask on devRant.

just receive a refurbished 4 years old laptop.... then deep clean it.... now having dilemma on picking a distro......

mainly use to run data analysis (r, Python, Java, C++, mySQL, MongoDB and some cloud servers...)

my thinking about a good distro to me, comfortable appearances, customize freedom, community support and constant security update.

any suggestion people??

Bored and want something to do? Learn MongoDB. There’s SO many great resources out there! I have legit enjoyed these first three courses in Mongo University (+1 on Udemy).

Lost 3 days because of shitstorm not knowing why my nextjs localhost app wasnt working just go the 3rd day on mongodb dashboard and have a warning that mongodb will block any connections of ip addresses that are not manually added (i have no idea how mongodb works other than just how to use it in code)

Because the shitstorm knocked me off the internet for 3 days (will probably be for over 7 days cause these assholes dont give a shit to fix it) i dont have wifi access so my localhost app cant work

However my dads android has unlimited gb of 4g internet access so i connect to his hotspot and then try to run the app but still fails. I thought i cant run the app until my internet gets fixed from shitstorm just to find out i had to manually allow the inbound IP address of the android phone into the mongodb dashboard. And now it works fine. Fuck off

The value proposition of MongoDB Is making people's life miserable.

What is a normal write speed (docs/second) for mongo db?

Can't find a benchmark online and well I'm trying to prove my point to my boss that our speeds are insanely slow due to index bloat,..

!Rant

Which database program do you use? MySQL, MongoDB etc.
I'm using MySQL at the moment, but a lot of jobs requires MongoDB. Does anyone know why?

Though I can't get it to work on my dedicated server, giving up for now...

What cheap/good quality node.js hosting provider for nodejs/react/mongodb app do you suggest? (including sale, black friday etc.)

Stackoverflow is great but sometimes I want to ask 'bad' questions. Questions that cannot be answered. I just want to see opinions no matter how biased. Maybe this is the place? Or is there somewhere else?

btw anyone know if there is any is a decent free ui for mongoDB that works with Atlas?

Full stack developer?! Which one is hard front end or back end? I'm talking about MEAN other than mongodb!

I picked a module of my nodejs app which uses MongoDB to pieces until I had no more idea what could be wrong. It should work. There could be nothing wrong. Then I thought: "What if I try to find() from the wrong collection?" Yes. Fucking YES! I've lost about 2 hours of my life because I've written the collection name in singular rather then plural. Just a fucking single character. Just a fucking "s"! Why don't you output an error? Why? Fuck you! Why don't you do that?

I'm currently doing project in Java using JavaFX for GUI and after like 6 months I found out we can bind textfields to variables(yea,dumb me) and I got more than 20 forms so of course, binding is useful than that getText method. So I think there are many things like this which will help me to optimize my code but I dont know, so can anyone tell me more stuff like this?
I'm using MongoDb so I'm currently finding easiest way to make Bson document from textfield values. Any suggestions?
(Sorry, for my bad English)

I'm a Beginner Web Developer. I know Angular2, Nodejs , Mongodb, Html, css, JavaScript but never have I ever worked with Wordpress. Is it a bad thing?

Like seriously how fucked up are those ORMs? Prisma “yeah we support mongodb, but we will force you to write in a relational way.” I always hit on hard walls whenever ever I try an ORM in my projects.

Don’t get me wrong they are good for dummy stuff. But if you want to go a little bit crazy with mongo, embedded documents with refs it’s a mess…

Typescript and good old mongodb adapter bb anything else.

im trying to cut down on my digital ocean bill and have a few small freelance websites, im paying 15$ a month for a mysql db and kinda feel ripped off

i know mongodb atlas offers mongo for free, does any service offer mysql for free and would you recommend using it for a clients website?

See this? Dont ever fucking tell me to use mongodb. Half the time this website is fucking broken and down. Imagine you have a production ready app that is now also fucked because this piece of shit is fucked. I always viewed anyone using mongodb as DUMB fking shitass script kiddy with a small dick helping bill gates to gangrape some kids at the epstein island

I am learning NestJS + MongoDB stack after spending 5+ years as a Laravel + MySQL dev.

Wish me luck or give me advice. Thanks in advance!

MongoDB..

Working with nested arrays in MongoDb!! Who would have thought it would be such a pain to update data in nested arrays in a database! So frustrated!!!!

Please make up your mind MongoDB

I'd like to learn go while building a web backend. but I'm not how should I start it. I mean, should I use any framework?

I'd like to use MongoDB, so a mongoose like ORM/library would be awesome

Using MongoDB instead of carefully designing SQL tables and relations between them #wk126

Is MongoDB worth learning? I already use MySQL/SQLite but I was thinking of learning it. How is it any different aside from having no SQL

MongoDB database with really relational data. One main collection that had refs to four other collections, all of those references necessary to populate data for a page view. Complicated aggregate to populate all the necessary data and then filter based on criteria selected by the user. And then the client decides that he wants the information to be sortable by column. Some of those columns are fields on the main model, no problem. Others are fields on the refs, which is more of a problem. Especially given that these refs aren’t one single object. They’re arrays of objects.

The revelation was that I could just write an aggregate function to flat map the main collection, returning only the fields necessary for the search, and output it to a new collection and instead use that new collection for displaying and filtering/sorting search results.

But you can’t run the aggregate all the time, you surely say. If anything changes in the main collection, it won’t be reflected in the search results!

Mongoose post(‘findOneAndUpdate’) hooks, my friends. Mongoose post(‘findOneAndUpdate’) hooks.

Never been so happy to have a thing working properly in my life.