"Hey, you know Binary Search Trees?" "Say no more."

*Me and my GF who works for CIA*

Me: Send nudes
GF: Whose do you want ?

try{
❤️
}catch(){
🍺
}

Hello world!

Structure Padding

Screw Emojis!!

Client asks how many days will it take to implement feature XYZ.

I say 3 days. But Skype had other plans.

PM: Can you finish this in four weeks?
Dev: yeah sure, I can finish that in four weeks
Narrator: the dev could not finish it in four weeks

My handwriting is so bad... That it is now being used as a Captcha.!

If everything is high priority, nothing is high priority.

Just got this slack from our server admin.

!rant

Finally finished my electric longboard, extremely pleased with the end result.

Did some tests with it, 30km range and +-40km/h top speed

FUCK YOU TOO COFFEE MACHINE!
HANDING ME YOUR STUPID FUCKING SHITTY WATER BACK. YOU'RE SUPPOSED BREW SOME FUCKING COFFEE TO FUCKING MAKE ME AWAKE WITH ONE FUCKING HOUR OF SLEEP NOT PISS IN MY CUP!
I'll just go back to bed...

My friend said this,

Roses are red,
The screen turned blue,
I'm not a programmer,
What the fuck do I do.

Ok so 10 yrs ago:-

Professor: Make this web front-end with blah blah blah pages.

*I create the thing and submit it*

<Next lecture i come in class and the projector is showing my website>

<I get excited that im bout to be praised for my work infront of whole class>

<I grab a seat>

Professor: I had high hopes from you. I did not expect PLAGRISM from YOU.

Me: Wwwwwwhaaaaaaaaaat the faaaaaaaaaaaaq??? Where is it which part????

Professor: Ive seen "lorem Ispem" before somewhere else. This is fucking plagrism.

<I sat 15 mins in disbelief>
<Got out of class>
<Dropped out of the course>

Parents with computer problems

STOP DOING THIS!!!

Typical code comment

Storage issues...😂😂

The sound of your $1500 MacBook crashing into the hard tile floor from a very tall breakfast bar...

Why are we babysitting this kid again?

After reading a lot of cryptography, I realized that it would be best if Alice and Bob just talk in person

Me : I need to give Tom a wash.

GF (Smashed table, angrily) : Tom is your Keyboard, stop giving everything a name.

Me : you hurt poor George!

Privacy is a legend

Fuckin' manager... lol

I managed to recycle a joke. Here is me using fedora:

:~$ sudo apt-get install vim

Who is apt-get?

:~$ oops sorry, I meant dnf

Who's apt-get?

:~$ sudo dnf install vim

Maybe you should ask apt-get to install it

Absolutely barbaric!

!rant
I want a dark PHP coffee!

That moment, when you feel funny.

Oh god :D

Hahahaha

Just remembered this which is perfect for this app 😂