Programmer's Brain at 2 AM:

Bug appears at 2 PM: “I'll fix it later.”

Bug appears at 2 AM:
“This is a personal attack. I will not sleep until this line of code regrets its existence.”

💻🧃Now running on Redbull and vengeance.

Me in an email: "This information was not shared with you for your entertainment, and yet..."
Translation: fuck you, you incompetent bint.

Week : 92 (Year 1 )

I am tired, guys. Mortgage, EMI—I have to keep up.
I wanna exit this loop. I am stuck. How are you gonna spend this weekend?

Question : What’s something you still don’t understand as an adult?

last Weekend : https://devrant.com/rants/17187723

I work with a team of morons where they just keep overriding my code and business sending us mails saying this requirement hasn't been implemented so please done.

Those morons are just getting on my nerves

ww3 is about to start, should I attend the scrum meeting anyway ?

Swift: Have you ever noticed...

How many times the word "Safe" is used when describing Swift, yet there is no way to programmatically determine if a memory allocation failed?

How many ways this "Safe" system has a way of crashing:
1. Unwrapping a Nil Optional
2. Disconnected Outlets
3. Out-of-Range Array Access
4. Accessing Uninitialized Variables
5. EXC_BAD_ACCESS (Memory Access Errors)
6. Threading and Actor Isolation Issues
7. Type Casting Errors
8. Uncaught Language Exceptions
9. (fill in the blank?)

What frustrates me is that Swift lacks a language-level way to check if heap memory allocation succeeded. When you create an object like MyClass(), Swift assumes success—if allocation fails, the process dies instead of allowing your code to gracefully handle the failure.

And to avoid having pointers, it creates this horrendously random undocumenting syntax salad that is worse than ADA.

Swift, when you wanted a liter-bike and you get something else

They started measuring deleted and added lines of code as a metric for productivity at my company. I have heard it's been done in other companies among friends... WHO THE FUCK IS PUSHING FOR THIS!?
Like WHY EVEN DO THAT USELESS SHIT???

liver failure is the single shittiest feeling you're gonna experience. I know what it feels like to be cut open, also amnesia, also paranoia, also depression, but let me tell you: liver failure is the fucking worst.

imagine sprinting one mile while thirsty in 110F heat while having severe food poisoning and flu. that's how it feels, pretty much

Spent three days debugging a stupid issue.

Got told that we could just leave it and it would fix itself

The nation of Vietnam started worshipping me as their god because I made a mod for Winamp that turned it into an IDE.

flintlock space laser

i just met up with a brand new Very hot brunette girl from tinder. she works in a hospital. as soon as she sat in my car she gave ME, 3 fucking candy's, and my favorite candy! we JUST met for the first time and she bought me snacks???

WHAT???

i bought her NOTHING cause i expected NOTHING. I thought she was just another whore (like all women are whores) but to my Deep fucking shock she is different!

she don't know me and is tsught to behave like this by her parents, to buy little things for a fucking stranger, and a guy!

im pissed for not buying her snacks too. i will damn well buy it next time for her.

we only kissed and she was happy to meet me. she enjoyed our conversation. we were 2.5h eating drinks.

so now technically I'm cheating on my current hot brunette gf, and my ex blonde whore gf, with this brand new HOTTEST brunette that may soon be my new (2nd or 3rd gf)

what am i even fucking doing

Dear Windows,

How hard is it to actually update and shut down? No, don't restart. If I wanted you to restart I would have chosen that option.

Sincerely,
The last decade

PM is on his period again

Youtube is disgusting.

They deliberately implement some crap that tries to circumvent ad blockers, fail at that, that causes videos to have a delay before loading.
Then they implement a fucking popup during this delay, telling you to klick there for more information why there is a delay.
And when you klick on that, they essentially tell you that your ad blocker is probably why there is a delay.

No, assholes, the ads is why there is a delay.

Dishonest, manipulative pieces of shit.

Opened devRant after exactly 4 years. Brings back so many memories!!
Hello again, devRant community! What's life like rn?

Your tasks are going slowly, let's have a meeting about it

Finding an ML intern is so hard.

Dear employers, DO NOT FUCK WITH A PERSON'S DOCTORS. My doctors are paid to help me. If that means helping to sue your asses, they'll do it in a heart beat. Don't give them motivation.

My employer made dubious claims to my doctors in an occupational health referral. I've requested a copy of the referral. In the hopes I might not get a copy of the referral they've pushed this to my doctors as they don't want to give it to me. Because they've lied. Or they think I won't jump through the hoops to get access to MY OWN MEDICAL RECORDS.

Stack Overflow has really gone to shit. I had a bad experience with a recent Qt6/Python question, or really two questions both of which were closed and deleted!

I was just going to ignore it, but some recent talk on the Fediverse made me write up a full post about it:

https://battlepenguin.com/tech/...

Let me present you a new term: Boomersoftware

Definition: As long as it has an exorbitant licensing cost it is good software. Whether its used at home or by IT in the office does not matter. Specifically when a foss alternative exists.

Examples:
Microsoft Windows (Especially server or embedded)
Most types of antivirus software
Software
VM-Ware/Hyper-V
Allen-Bradley Studio 5000
Most WYSIWYG document editors

If your manager is an asshole in unrecorded 1-on-1's, buy a dictaphone.

Petition to rename underwear to “downholstery”

In my current position I basically act as an techlead in a small company handling things from software architecture to functional requirements and dev ops, but also mentoring the developers.
Basically any small tech company where you got one guy running around doing almost all the stuff excluding the actual development (which I still also partially do).

I recently completely bombed an interview for an tech lead role. This was my first interview for an role that wasn't just IC.

I got several feedback points:
- I was too much all over the place
- Was talking too much, not giving them enough room to ask questions
- Didn't ask enough questions
- They didn't find I talked enough about leadership

My previous interviews were just me geeking about tech and this clearly doesn't hit the spot during interviews. I feel like I actually do plenty of the work (and beyond currently) but struggle articulating this in a manner that makes an company interested in my abilities.

So considering above what would be some good resources to learn for me to better communicate based on an non IC role.

I’m so annoyed that the word “throwel” exist but doesn’t even mean a tactical shovel designed to be thrown.

been working in the same company for 7 years, founder removed all our remote flexibility, told us people who dont come to the office can be replaced with AI, we have no excuse to being late to the office, etc...

feeling violated i began applying to other companies, and im very surprised that after 8 years of development experience, many side projects and curious endeavours later, i keep getting rejected or ghosted... wtf is this job market? i used to get interviews at least in almost any company i applied for before...

how tf do you land a new job these days?

Quote of our co-founder today: "Recently I've learned we should be doing market research before building something"

Explains why we are so much in the red now...

I think HR is the first role that could truly be replaced by an LLM.

Speed, quality, scope. Why managers dont understand that they can pick only two and expect all three?

the only thing more terrifying than a chainsaw is the person who's not terrified of it.