Well those are the FAQs... But where the Fuck are the answers?
I guess it's just oracle being oracle
And yes I have checked on mobile and desktop with 4 different browsers.
And no those aren't links
https://oracle.com/database/...

I feel so guilty.
I had to make a hotfix today. It is the ugliest piece of shit code I ever intentionally created. But there was no other way. I swear there was no other fucking way!

My boss just assigned this to me. But because she thinks this needs to be a hotfix and can't wait for the next release we just have to change the server and not the client side of our application.
So I had to add a memory to our server so that it knows from which high level method from the client the multiple low level calls to it are coming from.
It just doesn't make sense logically.

I mean I feel like I killed someone. And just so that we get less writes to our DB. I mean yes in some edge cases it is a huge speed-up...
But nothing this fix solves is a new bug.

I'm gonna take a shower now. For like an hour

Thank you Java Visual VM... Apperently my program is so good that I now have 8 times my processing power...
That's very useful

First of all sorry for the bad picture. Let's move on...
Deleting this method like:
Who the hell did this nonsense?
I just took a picture of it so I could post it here and rant about it.
Sure felt stupid after deleting it for not thinking about a protected method in the parent class that is part of an API.
So... Yeah....
I was feeling too confident in my skills lately anyway

I'm thinking of tattooing "reload the fucking debug-config you giant moron" on both of my arms and giving away all my long-sleeved shirts to charity to help me become a better programmer.

Why eclipse?
Why did you think that implementing git yourself was a good idea?
Why? Fucking why?
Now when I switch to my development branch and it's a few commits behind I get lock fails when I fetch. And when I pull?
I'm fucking 32 commits in front of the branch? Like what the Fuck eclipse?
How can you pull those commits from the repo without fetching?
... I use the command like now.

My employer really needs to invest in better machines.
My VM is still running a Windows Update that has taken 50 minutes already.
Fucking 50 minutes in which I couldn't do a fucking thing.
Either the windows update is a huge update but my guess is that I'm on a slow as fuck hard drive that gets virtualized with about 3 other vms
(we use remotedesktop to access the vms that run on the server)

You're fucking using a PC.
If you're using an apple product that is a computer (it fucking computes things) and you can use it on your own then it is a personal computer. That's what PC means for the love of #keepDevrantReligionFree
I just saw someone saying that they use neither: Mac nor PC
Upon asking for clarification they said that they are using arch.
Are you fucking kidding me? Do you want to be as "cool" as Apple and refuse to use a name that's used for those kind of devices just to not belong in the same group as others?

Pausing music because I have to concentrate on a test case like crazy.
3 hours later...
Wait? Why don't I listen to music?
Ah I muted it like 3 hours ago :-/

Me chatting with a bandmate who is also a developer:
Me: do you have any experience in Db?
Him: Dropbox? Databases?
Me: Sorry enharmonic confusion. I meant C#

P.S. yes, sometimes I find my comments so funny that I make new joke posts about them.

Subversion should be burried so far beneath the ocean that even the oldest developer, who is so old that he can't even think about jerking off no more, because his beard is so long and thick as a curtain made of strong streams of wool, waying him done so much that his face would immediately smash down to the floor if he ever would ever again attempt to stand up, denying access to his wrinkled dick, can't find it no more.

And yet I still have to use it at my job.

One of my colleges complained that the remote vm he uses to test his Java-Code is so slow that he thinks it's actually just a potatoe.
I said to him... Well you know... 3 Billion Devices run Java.

I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore.

First time someone did this. I feel kind of special now :-)

I packed double on mate today. Hopefully I'll survive the code review today. How I love fridays...

I fucking hate SVN.
Git... I miss you so much it hurts

Holy Mother of casts.
Just stumbled across a line that started with (((((( because it has so many casts in it...
That's why you don't use instanceof kids.

So my gas bill (for heating and warm water) is so low that my provider wants to send someone over to check the counter on it.
They can't put one and one together and take into account that my power bill is like double the amount they calculated.

Help. I'm drowning in spaghetti code

I've been working at a working student (15 hours/ week) at a local software company for about a month now... and with everything I learned at college I'm kind of getting eye cancer here.
We still use SVN
We don't have any coding guidelines. No checkstyle, no overview over the program. When I started there I was just giving a ticket and they said good luck.
We just have some basic RCPTT Tests inside Eclipse and most of Themen don't work in the trunk because the gui got changed...
At least we have a ticket system but it doesn't get used by most of the working students.
I found 10 other bugs while reproducing and trying to fix 1 bug.
And I've never seen Java raped so badly. Today I saw a line that started with 6 brackets because whoever wrote it wanted to cast like there was no tomorrow. I see more instanceof in one day than in my whole devlife before.
The only thing we have is two normal employees that review our code before we are allowed to commit it into the trunk.
So yeah... I'm drowning in spaghetti-code.

First day in a job in tech. Wish me luck.

Fuck you Intel.
Fucking admit that you're Hardware has a problem!

"Intel and other technology companies have been made aware of new security research describing software analysis methods that, when used for malicious purposes, have the potential to improperly gather sensitive data from computing devices that are operating as designed. Intel believes these exploits do not have the potential to corrupt, modify or delete data"

With Meltdown one process can fucking read everything that is in memory. Every password and every other sensible bit. Of course you can't change sensible data directly. You have to use the sensible data you gathered... Big fucking difference you dumb shits.

Meltown occurs because of hardware implemented speculative execution.
The solution is to fucking separate kernel- and user-adress space.
And you're saying that your hardware works how it should.
Shame on you.

I'm not saying that I don't tolerate mistakes like this. Shit happens.
But not having the balls to admit that it is because of the hardware makes me fucking angry.

Christmas.
The only time where computer scientists and other people agree how trees are shaped.
Now we only need to convince them that the tip is in fact the root.

So my girlfriend just flipped out and sad that her whole Dropbox was totally empty. All of her files studies, her jobs and even her poems and short stories were gone...
Turned out she has 2 accounts.
One for...@gmail and one for...@googlemail

this is actually not my first instance where someone asked me for help regarding an important account where they just didn't check if maybe they used one instead of the other.

I know it's good that they changed it and kept both addresses but some people just get confused by it

I fucking hate having to name something.
I mean it should be short, easy to memorize and sum up the project.
Fuck it... Proto0 it is

I hate that I have to have windows for my music production hobby. Does anyone know about any good DAWs for Linux?
Maybe I'll need a new audio interface as well though. Yamaha is about as bad as Nvidia when it comes to drivers for Linux.

Arduino IDE.
Why... Have you used it?

Well I don't sleep anymore

Drunk again and still in Love With this great Community

TL;DR: If you make a contest where people get to vote online fucking make it right!

And here's the story: I play in a local coverband to make some cash on the side and because I love making music. We entered a contest hosted by a local radio-station. The first round was determined by judges and now 5 bands remain and of those 5 only 3 get to be voted into the final round. In the final round every bands wins something: 3rd place 250€, 2nd place 750€ and first place 5000€.
Now that stupid dipshit of a web-designer of that radio-station made a website where you can vote and it only fucking sets a cookie. You can delete it and vote again. You don't need no E-Mail and nothing. It doesn't even block multiple votes from one IP. It doesn't do shit.
Even my bandmates (who don't work in IT) where smart enough to figure out that you can just delete the cookies...
I think that now every band except for one is cheating. (we have over 5000 votes and combined all bands have like 4000 FB-Likes and sometimes and Band gets like 400 more votes in an hour) This is such a fucking messup and I don't know what to do. Maybe they'll look into stats but if they're so stupid to make a contest like this in the first place, maybe they won't. And even if they look into the stats it wouldn't be fair to kick out a band with much votes because how the fuck would they know if the band themselves cheated or if it was a fan of the band or even an enemy of the band just to get them kicked out.
I'm afraid of talking to the radio-station as a part of one band because maybe the web-designer there just gets frustrated and bans us from the contest entirely.
This is just fucking frustrating.

!rant
there's gotta be another drunk post of me now sores
What I love about devRant aren't only the rants but really the comments. In almost every rant the comet section is at least as funny ass the rant it self. This shows how awesome this community isch.
Don't drunk as much as me and I really do.enjoy being part of this aesome part of the interwebs.