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*Client calles me at 7Am*
Client: why did you make everything smaller on my website ?
Me: look at the right side of your URL bar, do you see a minus sign ?
Client: yah, so ?
Me: click on it and set it back to default.
Client: oh ok this is working for me now, will this fix apply globally across the internet
Me: ...
Client: oh I think I asked a stupid question, thanks mate have a good day.
Me: you're welcome...17 -
So this fucking happened today.
Me: *sees support ticket coming in about some kind of login issue*
Me: *opens issue*
"Hello, I can't seem to login. There's an error"
Me: *sighs and thinks "at least give me that FUCKING error message then." *kindly replies with asking if they could send me the error message*
"Here it is. I don't understand what is going wrong
and what I have to do"
Me: *looks at error message*
"Invalid customer ID. Please make sure that your ID is correct. You can find it in the activation email we sent you when you registered".
😐 😶 😦
Me: *thinking okay what the fuck, are you fucking retarded or something?*
Me: *kindly replies: "It seems that you are not using the correct customer ID. You might want to look for it in the activation email we sent you!"*
"Oh okay thanks, how did you figure that out?"
Me: 😵 😐 😶 😭 🔫
Seriously what the actual fucking fuck.30 -
Friend: Man you're a programmer why aren't you a billionaire already like the others??
Me: It's not that easy believe me.
Friend: I have a great idea for an app something like facebook...can be that hard?
Me: :/
Friend: you could do that instead of your no pay opensource shit...
Me: FUCK YOU AND YOUR STUPID BULLLLLSHIT GO FUCKING DIE YOU PIECE OF SHIT !!!! YOU HAVE NO FUCKING CLUE ..STUPID SON OF A BITCH.33 -
Too much stupid today..
Client: "Our server is almost full, fix it"
Me: "Okay, you can upgrade the VM, or I can see if theres anything that can be cleaned up?"
C: "Clean it up"
Me: *Finds 5 extra MySQL DB's that amount to 50-60GB in total*
Me: "Well I can remove some of your extra databases, and some of the local backups, as they're also backed up offsite. They're currently unused and dated back to the beginning of 2017, everything is out of date anyways."
C: "No"
Me: "Okay, is there a reason?"
C: "No"
Me: "Okay, so we'll upgrade the VM?"
C: "No"
Me: "I'm sorry, but those are really your two options"
C: "Just fix it"
...................
...................
...................
What in the ducking fuck !@#$#%?
If you're so fuggin smart, then why do they pay me?
I'm clearly stupid and unable to read your mind.21 -
The most stupid question you can ask at an open source software event?
"So, this system, is it open source?"
I asked this to a guy at a stand about the system he was presenting (forgot the project name).
He stared at me with a wtf face and then replied with "....yes.... of course.... this is an OPEN SOURCE software event?!"
I felt quite fucking stupid.12 -
FUCK YOU, STOP FUCKING WITH ME! my stupid fucking colleague has just replaced all the semi colons in my repo with Greek question marks for the 5TH FUCKING TIME THIS MONTH. it wasn't funny to start, it isn't funny now, so take your fucking rat-like grin and hyena laugh and FUCK OFF AND WORK! fuck me28
-
Designer: can we put the popup at the top of the screen?
Me: You mean op top of the navigation?
Designer: Yeah.
Me: I sure can. Would be stupid to block off the site navigation with a popup, but definately possible.
Designer: Cool, let me know when done!
Me: ....
Me: I am done.
Designer: Well now I can't click on the navigation anymore.
Me: That's correct. Let me know when you want to change it again.13 -
*sigh*
Ssh'd into raspberry pi:
$ sudo ip link set dev wlan0 down
*waits 5 minutes for response*
Oh.. Oh yeah..15 -
This should not be called wisdom teeth, should be called stupid teeth
Mother fucker is growing perpendicular.
What fuck is wrong with you bro , grow upwards you dumb fuck!!
50 -
Me: *types "recursion" into google*
Google: Did you mean: recursion
Me: *clicks the suggestion, even tho I see no error*
Google: Did you mean: recursion
Me: ohh I see. I feel stupid6 -
FUCK YOU TOO COFFEE MACHINE!
HANDING ME YOUR STUPID FUCKING SHITTY WATER BACK. YOU'RE SUPPOSED BREW SOME FUCKING COFFEE TO FUCKING MAKE ME AWAKE WITH ONE FUCKING HOUR OF SLEEP NOT PISS IN MY CUP!
I'll just go back to bed...5 -
Friend: hey I started learning java..
Me: great, good luck.
*After few minutes
Friend: Hey I heard you're good in java programming..
Me: yeah I know stuff.
Friend: So can you teach me all good things in java?
Me: but..
Friend: half hour is supposed to be enough, right?
Me: hell no, it's not like that..
this stupid thinks half hour is enough to transmit all my career to his stoned brain..
I am going to die!12 -
Wife - my site is not working, everything in the code looks correct. But it is only throwing me 404 all over
Me - "blaming the teacher for giving bad shit"
Wife after googling - I fixed it, you have forgot to enable .htaccess in the virtualhost
FFS how long have I been this stupid?12 -
So, I'm programming a control system for a prototype aerospace vehicle. You know, the stuff that needs to work to prevent falling out of the sky.
Anyway, test day was today (was -- not anymore). Wiring all the electronics, everything is actuating and works well. Except for one part, a little thruster for stability.
I spent hours - literally, fucking hours - trying to fix the problem. Wrong address? Wrong syntax? I had absolutely no clue what was wrong. Queue the hardware guy, $stupid:
$stupid: "How have you not got it working yet?!"
$me: "I don't know, everything I'm trying isn't working. I've spent hours digging through this code and nothing is fucking working."
$stupid: "Well have you set it up for the new thruster?"
$me: "What...What new thruster?"
$stupid: "Oh, the one we installed this morning, did noone tell you?"
WHY WOULDN'T YOU TELL ME THIS?! COMMUNICATION 101!6 -
Me: “I’m gonna rebuild this site from the ground up.”
Also me, 5 minutes into it: “Can’t figure out this stupid CSS thing I need to do. Gonna take a quick break.”
Also also me, looking at it 5 days later:
5 -
Lost the password to the main modem/router of our apartment (live in a normal flat of which the rooms are rented out to three students and me) which is in my room and tried to reset the fucker for a trillion times but couldn't get back in, the password didn't reset.
Took a closer look at the reset button and suddenly noticed some text under it saying "wireless connect". Then I noticed a tiny round "hole" above the reset text.
Fuck my sideways, I've been pressing the "wireless connect" button instead of the actual reset one every goddamn time 😐
I can now port forward again 😊6 -
Everytime they force me to add and test stupid features. I usually end up making my own version, which they dump almost every time.
2 -
Interviewer: How will you solve the travelling salesman problem?
Me: *explains the solution on whiteboard*
Interviewer: It is slow. Can you do it in linear time at least?
Me: It is NP hard so it is not possible. For a restricted case, it may be possible
Interviewer: You are stupid. Do not apply again.10 -
Fuck stupid client.
Sorry:
Boss: client want to white label the solution.
Me: ok. They just need to create A record and send as SSL certificate and I will do it.
Client : here is your SSL certificate.
Me: spend whole night to make the transfer and setup server and check whole solutions one by one for reference to our company.
Next day wake around 2 pm to 100 whatsapp message, call from client and noss.
Turns out client IT team revoked the certificate without informing and the product stop working for all people.
Me: go to back to sleep.6 -
tl;dr stupid clients with their stupid requirements.
Client: (on Monday) hypothetically could you implement "A"?
Me: (on Monday) yeah I could do that by Friday, let me know if you want me to start it.
Client: (on Thursday) hey remember we talked about "A" well do "B" instead and I'll need it by Friday still.
Me: "B" is completely different than "A" and will take probably twice as long.
Client: but you told me you could do it by Friday.
Me: ............ I want to smash your face.4 -
HR: why you want to work with us.
Me inside: you stupid, because you need my skills and I need your stupid money, stop reading articles about stupid interview questions.
Me: because I love to work on such amazing environment, and I really love the technology you're using.5 -
my co-web devs just introduced me to css grids.
I feel so stupid for not knowing this, how long has this been here? HOW COME I MISSED OUT ON CSS GRIDS
12 -
If Katie calls one more time, I'll hunt her down.
I said I don't want to be on your stupid caller's list. She said okay, then proceeds to call me 50 more times today.11 -
How can people be so fucking stupid?
Imagine I made a program with two buttons, one that says "click here for x" and the other that says "click here for y" and they are asking me where to click for x.. Really mother fucker? Do you really have a PhD? Might me a PhD on retardness!! fuck you, I'm on vacation...7 -
Gets an email from office facilities.
Email - A package has been received under your name, please collect it at the mail room in the 5th floor.
Me (excited as hell) - Yay! My devRant stickers are finally here!!!!
Gets to the mail room as fast as she could only to find that the stupid package was a stupid promotional offer from a stupid bank sending me a stupid credit card that I never even asked for. That entire day was a disappointment :-(
When am I getting my stickers! It's been ages!8 -
Argh!
Me: "Are these Os or 0s? In this shit font they look totally the same!"
Me tries to gess if they look more like circles or eggs.
Me remembers that there are no Os in hex numbers.
Me: "Stupid me! Better go to bed now..."2 -
I really like JS, but sometimes it's just incredibly stupid.
NaN stands for Not-A-Number
typeof NaN
> 'number'
why are you doing this to me8 -
Stupid tech guy: "You should use Windows, it's bettter"
Me: "No i quit Windows and use Linux"
At the end of the day he updates Windows and got a BSOD...
I laughed and walked off8 -
I didnt make my root partition big enough fuuuuuuuuck
Stupid fucking tutorial said "10GB should be enough!"
Should have listened to myself. Fuck me.18 -
Me: How big do you want the banner to be (in pixels)?
Client: Mhhh... do default size
DEFINE 'DEFAULT SIZE' STUPID MORON9 -
Le me at the end of an interview
Recruiter: What is your salary expectations
*trying to find a good number but without exaggeration*
Me: well, about x USD.
Recruiter: that's ok for us.
Me inside: oh I should asked more than that! Stupid me.6 -
After pissing me off for month or so with it's stupid bsods I've decided it's time to move on. Fuck windows.
9 -
You dumb, stupid fucking idiot.
Yes, that's me. Spent an hour debugging something, only to find out I wasn't paying attention when going through the API ref. Fucking fuck. Such a waste of time.2 -
"Im gonna buy an Titan V for gaming!"
-Le "Friend" of mine
me:
A Titan V is for research and AI Applications...
Le "Friend"
Ayy u stupid Titan V best card!!!11!
Fuck this shit im fucking out of here...4 -
This fucking stupid asshole developer, wrote every single SQL execution with string formatting. Made me a full sleepless night fixing this shit. Isn’t this a classical SQL injection sample?
15 -
>Be me
>Have coder gf
>Goes to Disney world with family for vacation
>Me on the phone with her "can I just ftp over to you"
>Her *giggles*
>Me subconsciously "that was stupid but it didn't fail"1 -
People: "N00bPancakes! Your code broke something!"
Me: "Holy leaky diaper, I had a weird feeling about that code!!!! Stupid me!!! I'll get on that!!!"
-furious clicking-
Me: "How could this even .. .wait a second..."
- reverts last merge -
- still broken -
Me: "See I knew it wasn't my code...."
(´◔౪◔)3 -
Me: "What a stupid piece of shit documentation and software, it does not work!!!!!!!"
Also me: "Oh, this typo made everything _not-work_"4 -
Him: Relation databases are stupid; SQL injections, complex relationships, redundant syntax and so much more!
Me: so what should we use instead? Mongo, redis, some other fancy new db?
Him: no, I have this class in Java, it loads all the data into memory and handles transfers with http.
Me: ...... Bye!5 -
When someone asks me a stupid question,
I always answer:
You have the Knowledge of the Entire world and human race in your pocket,
FUCKING USE IT! DONT ASK ME! GOOGLE IT! BING IT! WHATEVER! JUST DONT ASK ME!2 -
So ... Facebook somehow found out I used a 'fake' rear name and forced me to switch it back ...
So now they can again sell my data, and I am again haunted by stupid ads I don't want ...
Fucking Zuckerberg!!!!53 -
I hate it when you have non-developer friends because still to this day after 16 years they still ask me what do I do with their stupid confused faces. Bloody muggles.3
-
You motherfucking piece of shit application form...
I was filling a long form in a tab and I had another part of that form open in another tab.
They fucking logged me out of the 2nd tab and didn't notify or prevent me from filling up hundreds of fields in the 1st tab.
Now I have to fill them up again.
Fuck you and your stupid form. Die in hell you fucking stupid cunt. -
me: "ugh frontend is so stupid, i wish i only did backend"
also me: "i should be working on backend, but i just added some dopeass icons to my website"2 -
I forgot my chargers for both my phone and my laptop at home 🤦♀
My phone is on 13% and my laptop on 35%.
I rely too much on technology ...6 -
What's the most stupid/raging way you broke a device ?
Me? I fell asleep in my bed, while reading some rants.. on my fucking phone and broke it while sleeping on it18 -
Guys, please help me answer this intellectual being. The more stupid the answer, the better. Even better is if there is like a fake loooooonnnngggg step by step guide of it. NB: tafadhali == please.
21 -
Q: Why isn't it working after a whole fucking day of trying?
A: Because I'm a fucking idiot. That's why!3 -
When I code for myself I do all the naming in German only. Mainly because that's how I can see directly if that stupid mess is done by me or the framework.9
-
She : You spend your whole day with your stupid computer ! That dumb machine is more important to you than me. We are done 😡
Me : Babe, I swear to God, you'll always be number one on my priority list.
She : Aww.. love you so much 😚
Me in mind : This must be the reason behind foundation of 0 index for Devs.1 -
Java script is like an angry girlfriend who won't tell you what is wrong.
This shit happened today.
Me: somearray.includes[stuff];
JS: I'm alright everything is fine.
Me: no it's not, Clearly the feature is not working.
JS:* silence*
Me: Fine be that way.. * spends lot of time debugging finally finds the issue*...oh shit.
Me: somearray.includes(stuff);
JS: I SAID NO TRAILING SPACE IN END OF THE LINE YOU STUPID PIECE OF SHIT NO TRAILING FUCKING SPACES AAAAHHHH!!!9 -
Well, I guess all the Linux folks are going to know what I am talking about. Do you know this feeling (Yes, you know. Don't tell me anything.) when you use Linux and nobody else uses Linux in your Work/School. And these people come to you and say.
Stupid people : Oh! You use Linux. That's bullshit!
Me : No it's not. It doesn't do 24/7 updates like Windows.
Stupid people : No, Linux is bullshit you don't have money for Windows. And Linux can't run professional Applications.
Unfortunately there is no medicine that cures dumbness. Just saying ...
I'd rather stay not dumb like these people instead of buying another Windows license.24 -
Are programming related questions welcomed here? My stupid fucking questions always get downvoted at Stackoverflow and I feel discouraged and frustrated and just plain so stupid which don't really help me learn. . .15
-
Stupid javascript.
Stupid hoisting-oblivious "frontend devs."
Stupid browser-specific javascript behavior.
Stupid thrown-together javascript minifier that literally only strips out whitespace and comments.
Stupid poorly-written javascript spamming my api.
Time to rewrite it. Grumble grumble. Soo not how I wanted to spend my morning-turn-afternoon.
Leading to the last but not least:
Stupid me forgetting javascript's quirks.12 -
Well... I feel insanely stupid because I've been using windows for years an just realised that the file system isn't case sensitive... Mother fuckers...
(Yes judge me, I am a twat)8 -
You stupid shit jerk fucks.
Your request to disable the coming soon mode was hours ago. Of course google will show you coming soon text when you searched for it. It is not like google is under my arse or something.
And what do you mean it is not showing up on YAHOO!
Who the hell is still using YAHOO! ?
And that YAHOO! showed me that coming soon text result just like GOOGLE when I tried. So why is it not showing that to you? Oh right, maybe because you are old and stupid.
Today is already busy enough with packing our stuffs, stop giving us stupid tasks to fix.1 -
a little confession: i've rarely used test suites in my projects (due to laziness and lack of time).
i've started a new project and now i HAD to write tests in order to make my PM happy.
Then i had to refactor a lot of code.
IT WAS SO EASY WITH TESTS.
I WAS A FOOL.
STUPID PAST ME, STUPID!5 -
Shit that annoys me: People use the store (insert google play/apple/other) rating with one star to ask questions instead of fucking filling the stupid contact form or send an email to tech support.2
-
Once I was coding a pool game, and didn't know why the white ball kept on going on forever. It was 4AM, so I was already a little tired as you can imagine.
The glitch came from the fact that I had designed a whole polynomial function to imitate the deceleration of the ball... I replaced it with two lines: one creating speed and deceleration value, and another one subtracting the deceleration value until speed was zero. And then I went to sleep.6 -
anyone else feel bullied when they put something on stack overflow for help
I'm just learning C++ for internship and they're so harsh and make me feel stupid :(11 -
Me. Everyday. I was actually fired for “unprofessional conduct.” Apparently screaming fuck at everyone and telling them to get fucked when they’re being stupid isn’t professional.
I like to think of my behavior as “informal.” 😉9 -
Fucking stupid bitch comes to me at 7 pm and asks an impossible task and after I clearly explain and say that I don't know how I gonna do it she asks it for early tomorrow...
Yeah, keep waiting...4 -
Getting corporate VPN access:
PM: Here's the program to get in, it should work.
Me: Won't install.
PM: sorry old version, here is the new one.
Me: Can't get in
PM: create a ticket
Support: Not sure, just try again
Me: Still won't work
Support: We forgot to set some attributes in your account, should work now.
Me: Nope.
Support: We are investigating.
*two weeks later*
Support: should work now.
Me: No it doesn't you stupid f***tards.
*gives up all hope*3 -
IT Head: Hey, can you check out why application X isn't working? I've already restarted it and it isn't working anymore.
Me: sure.
Me 20 mins later: hey, looks like it is all good, website is normal, server resources are normal, etc...
IT Head: no no, the windows sync app isn't working.
Me inside: are you fucking kidding me you piece of stupid shit? Quit IT for good and die.3 -
ugh... i lost code of my best project fuckkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkkk
And what's even more stupid? it had git versioning. almost around 65 commits. but recent fuckups with laptop crash, offline-online backup confusion led to me loose everything.
I just forgot to do one stupid fuck : git push -u origin master :"""""""""""""""""""""""""(14 -
Oh fuck... OH FUCKING FUCK OF FUCKS!
So, I made an interview and recorded it with Audacity...
Stupid me only stopped the recording and closed it...
WITHOUT SAVING! I DIDNT FUCKING SAVE THE FUCKING RECORDING! FUCK!
I DIDNT SAVE HALF AN HOUR OF AUDIO! HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN! IT DIDNT EVEN ASK ME TO FUCKING SAVE IT!
or was it??
FUCK NOW IM PARANOID!14 -
Started working at 3:30am today.
That either means I am dedicated or stupid. Maybe both.
For sure, my boss doesn't appreciate it, so I guess that makes me stupid then :)5 -
Worst part:
Either "Can you fix my PC, it won't start"
Or "Can you hack <some instance here> for me because <some stupid reason>1 -
I was struggling with a task on a project and decided to call the colleague, who's working on this project as well (he built it, I am just on-boarding) to get some advice.
Literally the first thing he asked me was: "have you seen whom this task is assigned to?"
Fuck! So I spent about 1.5 hours on not finishing a task that I shouldn't have worked on in the first place. Great.5 -
Pausing music because I have to concentrate on a test case like crazy.
3 hours later...
Wait? Why don't I listen to music?
Ah I muted it like 3 hours ago :-/1 -
*logs in to pc*
- Your password will expire in 3 days. Consider changing it.
+ yeah sure...
*tries to change password*
- Your password must be different from your old 25 passwords
+ ....
+ What the fuck?!? I mean, really, what the fuck is this bullshit? You force me to use EXACTLY 8 char long passwords and this? Fuck you!5 -
So, I'm the only iOS developer in the company working on this stupid app which is never going to succeed because the client idea is just plain stupid. Anyway, 6 months developing this crap, countless iterations, trillions of so-called retard "features", and now that we are almost there to go into production my PM decides it's a great moment to document every aspect of what was done and asks me to do it. Now I have 3 documents to write and around 80 bugs to review before Friday. Stupid me for thinking he didn't waste 6 months doing absolutely nothing while I was working 12 hrs a day to meet deadlines.2
-
Users and Bosses.
I honestly don't know who is worse, the end user or the boss.
The boss thinks all you do is click a button and everything just works, so everything should take 30 minutes to complete, why on earth would it take a week to do something?
The user seems to think every tiny idea is the most important thing ever to add, so they tell said boss it must be added, and boss normally agrees.
I get it, Marge (Fake name), adding in a copy button because you're too dumb to press ctrl + c is way more important than updating the security after a Ransomware attack.
No boss, I can't add in 30 new things and make sure the security protocols are updated all before the meeting in 15 minutes.
If you think it's all so easy and just pressing buttons, why did you hire me? Anyone who can read and press a button should be able to do it....
4 -
Normal human: Visits web store -> orders for product -> leaves store.
Me: Visits web store -> Stares at header -> Stares at logo -> Check if colors match -> Scroll to footer -> Frowns at ads -> Scroll back up -> Multi click product item for debounce -> Fuck i clicked twice but it added the product thrice -> Closes tab -> Drives to local store -> Purchase product -> leaves store.9 -
My girl friend broke up with me few days ago without any solid reason. Today i stopped her and ask her why she broke up with me and she started giving stupid reasons whereas she was the one who was actually guilty of those accusations.
21 -
Having an philosophy exam in less than six hours. It's 2 am. Laying in bed, thinking about that stupid DNS bug and how to fix it. I have 4 1/2 hours of sleep left - wish me luck ¯\_(ツ)_/¯4
-
*Le me posting a rant on devRant
*Le Rant gets no ++1 for a while
*Yup it was stupid one, delete it4 -
Regarding my last rant: I AM FUCKING DUMB!
When I receive data from the master Arduino, a hardware interrupt runs and oversteps my main loop stuff!
Lesson? NEVER WRITE HARDWARE LATCHES ON THE MAIN LOOP WITH A HARDWARE INTERRUPT WHICH IS MOST OF YOUR FUCKING CODE!!13 -
I feel quite stupid asking this but what on earth is eng in English? In dutch it means scary but I don't think that that applies here 😄
(Translation services gave me the exact same word)12 -
So I've been working a lot with Docker lately (who isn't) and there was this one service always DIEING on me.
Docker logs showed me that it was killed because the container was unhealthy.
I researched for a whole day and couldn't find it...
After I got home it hit me like a hammer...
The healthcheck uses basic Auth and the password was changed yesterday...
How the fuck could I start to try every shit before I even checked if the request done by the healthcheck is working...
FUCK ME I'M SUCH A MORON SOMETIMES8 -
You stupid asshole, you've been sabotaging me for ages in the name of the goddamn process, you stupid fuck, and now you want me to go agile "just do things" that aren't in the requirements? Just set up your own mind instead of wasting my goddamn time.8
-
Yeah I'm an adult. No, it doesn't bother me that 6 years ago on the school trip I wasn't cool enough to be invited to the girls rooms eventhough my stupid friend was. Doesn't bother me one bit7
-
Today I wrote a mail to the company to record two weeks of illness. Now, the mail started off being about my holidays in a few weeks, but I decided to write the illness mail first. Stupid me forgot to change the subject from "holidays" to "illness"... I'm so fucked. Wish me luck!2
-
Ideal job?
The one that give me a roof over my head.
And pays my bills.
And bring food on the table.
And give me a lot of free time for my hobbies.
And avoids me to discuss with stupid clients.
Ok, maybe the last one is a bit unrealistic..1 -
working in IT support sometimes makes me wonder if people are really that stupid or they try to test me if i am really stupid.8
-
Thanks stupid workmates who fuck up the project first and then 4 hours before the deadline tell you without any feelings "it's late, I'm going to sleep".
NO FUCK YOU GET YOUR ASS HERE AND START HELPING ME4 -
I'm on my first free lance project, and devRant asks me for my horror story. -_-
Well, I undersold myself and gave such a stupid time estimation. Fortunately, the client was smarter, and he wants just half the work in same time period and will still gave me the same amount xD1 -
So I did not notice that my google chrome had another window and I accidentally closed the 2 chrome windows in the wrong order. Now my 1st chrome window tabs are all gone. Stupid me 😅11
-
I REALLY HATE IIS. IT IS THE STUPIDEST FUCKING PLATFORM. FUCK. WHERE THE FUCK ARE MY FUCKING ERROR LOGS YOU STUPID PIECE OF FUCKING CRAP. FUCKING KILL ME YOU STUPID SERVER ASS BITCH CUNT2
-
Me: man, I really want to work on my project but I don't know what to do
Brain: You should document your code, it doesn't have a single fucking comment, you stupid lazy fuck
Me: oh ok, I will do that ...1 -
"OMG PLZ HELP NOBODY CAN CALL ME!!!¡¡ THIZ STUPID PHONE IS SO SHITTY"
Did you press anything?
"NOTHING I SWEAR!"
Yeah, I see that you are messing with the settings. Is that nothing to you?
I can understand that you accidentally navigate to the settings, but if you blame everything on your phone and lie to me, expect me to do the same.1 -
😯😂😂😂😂
Some times I open the production site and then try to make edits locally to fix a bug, only to realize that I was so stupid.1 -
Silly and stupid me.
Woke up.
Check phone. Check devRant.
Saw Trogus's filter update post.
Happy and left a comment.
Went to playstore and update.
Open devRant and use the feature.
Tried to filter only Rants and Questions type.
Happy and went back to sleep again bcz Saturday.
Continue the rest of day with other stuffs.
Use devRant again.
"Huh why the heck is the first post about some random quote?"
"Why the hell is second post meme"
"Why...why...why"
Check filter feature again.
Facepalm.
Silly me and stupid my eyes and useless my brain is not worthy for good and clean UIUX.4 -
Minecraft mods get me into programming. I used to spend hours yelling at Eclipse for not making that stupid JAR file! 7 years later, I'm pursuing a career as someone who spends hours yelling at a CLI assembler for not making that stupid ISO file! Good times.2
-
Started a new job today.
They gave me a Mac.
Why in actual fuck is there no shortcut for the terminal? Took me half a day to get an iterm hotkey working only to find out it only works if you have a terminal open already.
Stupid apple. I want my mod+enter back.8 -
I know I'm only an intern. But what in the actual sideways fuck. Are clients really this stupid?! They want to push the app into the app stores a week earlier AND add MORE functionality? FUUUUUCK ME.2
-
My internship is starting to make me feel really stupid
The issue seems easy but I literally have no clue what to do or even where to start. :(9 -
My dad once told me "Computers are stupid because they do what you tell them to do, not what you want them to do." and honestly that gets truer the more I mess with 'em.2
-
That's it. I'm fucking retarded. I'm just so fucking retarded. I'm so fucking supid, it makes me wonder why do I even keep trying. I'm not sure I even have the energy in my fingers to keep typing this stupid rant.
I've been banging my head against this stupid fucking issue for A WEEK. Digging into the documentation, trying different library versions, trying to move stuff around even if it didn't make sense, trying to use different approaches because maybe I was missing something, or maybe I didn't understand some concept.
Surely spawning a child function from a parent can't be that hard, right?
Nothing.
Even tried it on a different OS - who knows, maybe it's Windows doing some if its magic fuckery?
Still nothing.
"Wait, why am I calling this function directly instead of calling its parent?"11 -
Dear past me,
never ever offer a customer to rename their databases during migration.
Renaming databases in mysql is evil and will cost you more time than you think,
sincerely, my present me.
Ugh, stupid triggers and procedures >_>1 -
My non-coding friends think i am an amazing developers as i can create landing pages and small websites and they sometimes come to me with stupid ideas for websites.3
-
It continually never ceases to amaze me how many people ask me a question without doing the proper research beforehand. For instance, "How far is the Earth from Jupiter?" How am I supposed to know that? The only thing I'm going to do is Google it and then tell you anyway. Stop asking me stupid questions that you can easily search yourself!9
-
Hey...just wondering...
In Germany its quite common for M$ nazis to call Windows "Windoof" , which means Win-stupid...
I'm not aware of anything similar in English or other languages...And that can't be ;)
Enlighten me please!9 -
My standard response for any stupid questions. If you haven't tried it already then don't bother me.
8 -
So this company wanted their site launched early..so I coded for 3 days straight, hardly a wink of sleep and I launched it by the new deadline they gave me. Then they send me screenshots of a million problems with CSS and I'm like...THATS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU RUSH YOU STUPID PRICKS2
-
Colleague: Let's see the luna(r) eclipse.
Me: But that was a while ago.
Colleague: No it is today. Let's go out and see.
Me: Out.!! But how could you run eclipse there?
Colleague: What??
Me: What..?? Oh...!!
*awkward silence*
All the while I was thinking why would a node dev require eclipse, when he could perfectly work with something like vscode. Feels so stupid. -
For months I was weak and tired. All the stupid IT work drained me of power to develop cool stuff during the nights.
And then I discovered my wunderwaffe- machine capsule-espresso.
Oh boy that shit is amazing.3 -
GOD DAMN THE STUPID IPTABLES, aaaaah!
Today I learned that
iptables -I INPUT -i !lo -j DROP
and
iptables -I INPUT ! -i lo -j DROP
are two completely different rules, the first of which doesn't work (in ~99.9% of cases)
yet both pass and get added to the firewall. And both rules show exactly the same in the state listing (iptables -L -n -v).
And I was wondering why the hell the firewall wasn't working...8 -
Rant! I'm the only developer working in the company and everybody always comes to me and say, oh you are the IT guy can you fix my iPad?
F**$ no I can't... Stupid iPads..2 -
I am starting to get more and more ticked off when I google a language's function name, and the first result isn't the official documentation.
Come on, I don't care about some stupid article describing how a function works in 10 paragraphs, with modal windows all over the place annoying me about "subscribing to newsletter", cookies, registrations and so on.
I just need to find the stupid function description!6 -
Customers are so fucking stupid.
You're already on the page with a form with a "password" field and a fucking "save" button. WHY ARE YOU STILL ASKING ME HOW TO CHANGE YOUR FUCKING PASSWORD???
FUCKING STUPID CUSTOMER WHY DON'T YOUR FUCKING KILL YOURSELF???
FUCK!2 -
I see loads of rants complaining about getting asked for tech help. And then I see Linux getting recommended as an OS.
Me? I'm telling everyone to use ChromeOS so they leave me the fuck alone.
In the future, I'll tell everyone they are too fucking stupid to own a computer and phone is the way to go.
Systems thinking, people.1 -
Me: "I'll use my old laptop as a server to access via SSH to do my Docker Tests. I don't wanna use Keyboard and Screen. So, I'll set up Debian Server"
Also me: "Oh, full disk encryption with a preboot Login required. That's such a GOOD idea"
Introducing: Stupid me 🤗 -
My fucking stupid idiot neighbor is replaying the same song since morning at max volume. It's killing me! Where can i buy a machete and wipe out this moron's genes from the earth?10
-
fuck this!
spent an hour trying get my website working (on a raspberry) ... no errors, dev tools gave nothing, php gives nothing mySQL related... weird.. debugged my code for an hour when it me... db on my pc for testing is not the same one as the "production" server. i am so fucking stupid... i need some sleep3 -
Before internship, js code with semicolons looked stupid to me. Then jshint happened and here I am at 3AM in the morning, adding semicolons to a forgotten but not abandoned design project of mine!
-
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you hardly ever do any thinking and even on those rare occasions the results make me wish you hadn't tried.
-
took me 20min to realize why windows wasn't recognising my flash drive:
it wasn't the usb stick I plugged in but the mouse's dongle... stupid me😜 -
Me: Writing an amazing code
Client: say nothing
Me: making a stupid bug, the client complains, I fix it instantly
Client: WOW you're amaizing3 -
Conversation in a debug meeting, after a series of confusing failures:
Senior dev: “This is stupid”
Junior dev: “Me too” -
Opened firefox twice infront of boss and had devRant as the active tab, I hope he didn't notice, but I doubt T_T
I will only know if I saw a rant about me, other than that I think I'm good :313 -
That feeling when you view your older projects and see how distorted your code was, how much boilerplate code, realize how stupid you were.
Good to see how times have changed.
3 -
After reading so many peoples rants about Wix ads, I have been asking myself, "Why in the fuck are people on here seeing Wix ads? What in the hell happened to their adblock?! Did their adblock quit? Is adblock missing? Why is no one concerned that adblock is missing?! We need milk cartons and a search party formed ASAP!"1
-
I am both happy and sad looking at the code I wrote some time back. It makes me realize how much I have learned and at the same time how stupid I was.1
-
So in my last post I was angry that I didnt know many algorithms or how to make one, so you guys inspired me to learn about them and I found a course I'm gonna take about algorithms and such. I'm incorporating it into my learning schedule so let's hope this leads to me not being stupid.3
-
Stupid !
Just 1 cup of cappaccino can make me stay awake the whole night :/
2 nights no sleep , not gonna get anymore caffeine tonight !3 -
I don't know if this is happening to everyone, but attempting to download Android Studio right now sends me to a 404 page.
Android development is so fucking stupid that even trying to develop for them is fucking broken6 -
I'm stuck in road traffic and it's giving me headache, i wish every driver knows at least FIFO rule, if it's on a computer the CPU will quit his job because of all those stupid processes :/
-
! related
So there is this girl in my office from different team. We only talked over emails couple of times. I never got courage to go and talk to her in person. Sometimes I found her looking at me (** i guess**), sometimes she catches me looking at her. Smiles gets exchanged and that's it.
Didn't see her for 2-3 days. Checked in portal, turns out she left company. I'm feeling super bad right now. I can't focus on anything since this afternoon. I know this is not the place to share it, but I don't have anywhere else to share this...
Faaaakkkkkkkkk
Faaaccccckkkkkkkkkkkkkk
I could've tried...
My shyness kills me more than anything else in this world.😞17 -
I fcking hate when my friends come to me for restoring his stupid blocked accounts like Instagram, Facebook, Google etc... OMG I'm a fcking computer technician not a hacker1
-
...
Person me = new Person();
me.setAge(20);
int newAge = me.getAge();
System.out.println("Happy birthday! " +me.getName+ "You are now " newAge+ " years old!");
Happy birthday to me!😎🎊🎉🍻
(Probably stupid code 😂)10 -
Back when I was at university, during the first lesson of web development class, our teacher said: “If you have any doubt or problem, please ask me. The only stupid question is the one you don’t ask!”
A fellow student raised is hand and asked how to do printf in Java (it was totally legit as most of us only used C at that point and it was our only reference in programming).
Our teacher: “What kind of fucking stupid question is this?!?”
😳1 -
The world is so stupid... An app called Die With Me works only under 5% battery and lets you chat anonymously... when the connection is lost its said "*Name* Is dead"
Really fucking stupid but worth a try... Why did i buy this ag1 -
It still amazes me that people willingly choose apple. After being given a MacBook for work, I sort of expected it to grow on me a bit. But no, it forces you to do everything in their stupid apple way. It is form over function in its purest form.11
-
Having to use BlueJ makes me want to jump off a bridge. :)
Stupid fucking editor tells me I have errors in my code, even though it compiles without problems using the Java command.1 -
If only this button could make this shitty work week end & launch me in to paradise. I've had it up to here with PMs, clients, sales and stupid people. Any one else? 😖🙋🏼👋🏼
4 -
I fucking hate everyone who sends me a voice message, Just text me motherfucker how can I find some info we discussed earlier, you want me to listen to all your stupid messages with your lazy ass voice to only find the shit I'm looking for.4
-
Is inadequate a better word? how about stubborn lazy and stupid? Yeah, I think that sums me about up. Let's hope tomorrow is a better day... if that's even possible...
-
This stupid motherfucker just updated a dependency without even realising that it breaks everything, pushed it to the package manager and causes me almost 2 days debugging.
Nico nico wanna break your fucking knee2 -
when the client starts asking for so much stupid changes.
Me: Ok sur, I will email you about those changes and the estimate time.
Inside Me: I may look calm, but inside my mind I killed you 5 times with 5 different ways.1 -
I have a crush on my single, young manager. He sent me request on facebook recently, although he has befriended almost everyone in the office, I just can't stop thinking about him.
Please help me, give me good reasons that it's a stupid crush, I literally can't stop thinking about him.21 -
I just love customers:
Customer: "ftps doesnt work! It says Port blocked you are using the wrong port! Fix this now!"
Me: "did you open the port and allow it through the firewall?"
C: " yeah ofc i opened the ports on the server! Do you think i'm stupid?"
M: "On the client too?"
C: "...."
C: " let me call back in 30min" -
Another log in issue because of moving from country to country...
If only I had a dollar for everytime a system didn't let me in after I moved... I'd be financially comfortable.14 -
Only got 2h of sleep instead of my usual 5h. I'm a walking corpse and there are still 7h left until I can go home 😴
Stupid, calming water-flow sounds are going to bring me down5 -
Come on bitch. Fucking tell me how programmers were better in the "old times".
People fucking died because of stupid race conditions and bad practices.
https://ru.wikipedia.org/wiki/...6 -
What did it tell me to???
Well, I was switching keyboards and started my desktop before i connected the new one. In my mind I was mocking the Mac. Now if I had a Mac it would not let me boot, stupid thing! Luckily I'm running Linux.
Butt wait! Never got that far! AMERICAN MEGANITWITS, if you ask me!
8 -
Getting oversea calls all of a sudden. If you’re trying to scam me, at least speak the local language and check local time.
Talking to me in a language I don’t understand at stupid o’clock doesn’t help your case...5 -
Sending webrequest to book car service, but the website isn't telling me if the request went through - just back to the same page with all info filled in. No error messages. Right now they either have 10 requests from me, or none. Stupid fucking site.3
-
All these random stupid ++ bombs, kinda makes me miss jASe when her used to ++ bombs everyone with all his accounts, only to delete them.1
-
My paper just got rejected. Again. The first time it was expected. But for this journal, it wasn't supposed to be. Some of the reviewers' comments are stupid. (for eg. I mention a no-loss algorithm fir a game which, so his/her comment is like what's no-loss? , like are you fucking kidding me, if you don't know that, then why are you a reviewer in the first place)
Anyway now I don't know what to do. I'm looking for more journals but all have so high impact factors and I'm not even sure confident to submit again. Had a good mind to mail the editor in chief but well, I don't think it'd help. What do you guys think?
In the middle of another project, another paper, online courses, now this. I'm just done. I didn't go home as well. It's around four o' clock in the morning here, so noone here is awake.
Can anyone hear me?8 -
The worst interview, I'll say the worst questions I ever being asked by stupid interviewer is "Where is your remote server located?", well I said "are your kidding me???" 😂 😂 😂2
-
Follow up to previous rant:
Now after I realised that I'm a stupid motherfucker, today was release day. Or so it was planned.
Because turned out my colleagues/supervisors didn't tell me to test the app on Android 6 devices and I was sure that if it ran on the device they gave me (which I assumed was the only device of our clients) it'd be sufficient.
Now it was tested on an android 6 device and crashed constantly.
Wow... I mean... Just wow... Now because I don't have a working android 6 device (a colleague of mine is on vacation and locked our development devices for a different app into a drawer) I have to get the emulator working which took me about 2 hours because that dumb shit face of a laptop first didn't have the android-sdk-root set (took me a good hour to realise) and then the kernel for the avds was missing.
Also: windows updates.
FUUUUUUUUUUUU....
(PS: yeah I should have tested it on various devices and made sure it worked on at least most of them without being told so. Another example for my stupidity.)
EDIT: Now I don't have enough disc space for the kernel I need to install. Absofuckingfantastic1 -
Me: So I'm going to study CS.
Dad: Are you going to be an engineer?
Me: Well I'll be a software engineer!
Dad: ???
Me: I'll write software for computers.
Dad: So you're not going to really be an engineer? So you are going to waste your life on those stupid computers... What did I do wrong.
😑😑😑 -
SO is like my SO
Yells at me for asking stupid questions. Hates it when I don't Google first. Tells me I'm too vague. Shuts me up before I have the chance to ask.
At the end of the day I've accomplished nothing with my code.2 -
Today has officially drained all the brain I didn't even have yesterday. Let's hope I get somewhere with this thing, or else all the brain I've wasted is going to be useless.
Also, fuck opencv's fisheye undistortion. Mofo, I don't have the camera params, how the fuck do you want me to give you your stupid kernel shit? Shut the fuck up from my face. Stupid hoebag.
... 😭😭😭😭😭 -
@Kimmax
Can you tell me how the application works?
I never heard of .NET core before, or am i just being stupid?3 -
Stupid people who lack common sense and yet present themselves as inteligent species give me a MOTHERFCUKING HEADACHE.
People, fucking use your brains where you should and not where it's not needed.10 -
Git is good. Even when I do stupid things like reset a commit I wasn't supposed to, it gives me the chance to fix those mistakes.
(Oops. !rant)1 -
Took 6 months off from coding...
sat in a JavaScript class today and couldn’t remember what a base case for recursion was...
Dear tutor,
I swear I can be stupid but please bear with me, I try really hard
😭😭😭8 -
Coding chalenge.
So... Spent almost two hours to put this little device to work with the keypad.
The device is a arduino micro, special one that can work as mouse /keyboard or any kind of input on most devices (pc, Android phone,...)
The objective is to make a macro keypad to:
- Fast insert text
- Play sounds in games over voice chat.
Think of it like this, you start a new html file, press one key and all the base code is inserted.
So... Why so long? Tought was the hardware, tought the keypad could be set differently that most, code mistakes...
My error was all here, masked from the debugger by a if:
char keys[ROWS][COLS] = {
{'1','2','3','4'},
{'5','6','7','8'},
{'9','10','11','12'},
{'13','14','15','16'}
};
Easy to figure right? Only saw it after reading all the code twice.
9 -
I once got into a full argument with this guy who claimed that no-one would collect his usage data because he's not interesting enough.
He then called me stupid when I told him he was wrong.
8 -
I see ads on marketing tools every fucking where.
Do I look stupid to you, Facebook and Google?
I don't fucking need them.
Who needs those stupid products anyway?
I even saw a reskinned XAMPP being marketed as 'local testing for your WordPress website', like what the actual fuck? Isn't that fucking scamming?
Oh, right. They were targeting WordPress monkies. Oh.
Anyway, please show me some more keyboards instead.
I've been in keyboard market for like 2 weeks you know.
Holy fuck. -
Fuck forced coding conventions in uni, especially if they are as stupid as Google's Java Conventions. They are a disgrace to nice code but we will have to use them going forward
Stupid spaces everywhere. Else on the same line, wtaf. And don't even get me started on indentation with fucking spaces. Tabs are superior in every single way fite me irl17 -
My biggest insecurity as a developer:
A tester calling me stupid and I cannot make up a convincing argument in my defense.
I avoid dealing with testers 😋5 -
Customer service didn't want to refund a $40 late fee because their stupid website wouldn't accept payment and kept locking me out.
So I did $40 worth of talking to one of their supervisors.
Yep. I fillibustered customer service. -
Solving a competitive coding problem.
Expected date format dd.mm.yyyy
My format dd:mm:yyyy
After spending some time on it, self cursing begins2 -
Just worked 12 hrs straight because the guy who earns more than twice my sallary (and ist currently on holiday in some fucking greek Island) ist to stupid to shit!!!!
This is unfair! You can not pay me very little because I am young and then give me all the responsibilities!!2 -
I remember when I was going, I tried to delete system32 folder in windows because I was sure my pc has 64bit architecture...xD2
-
Today, a customer complained about a bug. I checked their account: yup, there was a bug. I checked it on my machine... nothing. It took me about an hour to figure out that they were actually just not using the feature correctly. I'd understand this from a stupid customer, but me?! FML2
-
[wk237 - how you know you got good at programming]
idk, i dont think im good, ive got to a point where i can just eyeball those stupid interview questions, which makes me happy, but thats just basic logic -
Fucking travel auditors and yous stupid rules for travel reports. I've sent you countless e-mails explaining the situation and you can't fucking read?! YOU told me how I was supposed to fill the report and I did it as you told me to, but dare to reject it?!
Fucking incompetent and useless morons, you ain't worth shit! Fuck you and your stupid travel report! -
Decided to get rid of a system app but forgot to disable stupid System Integrity Protection (OS X stuff) first so it flipped back at me with a thousand of "Permission denied" errors.
Whispers behind me (it was in the public):
— What is he doing?
— I don't know. I think recompiling the kernel... -
manually writing multiselector widget with jquery and javascript, because you need to be able hackily pass in metadata for some stupid fucking edge case that the previous generation didn't want to deal with
please euthanize me, i fucking hate frontend and im sure it hates me back3 -
Ok people told me to make a collision library...um really stupid question but I’ve never tried that or thought of it. Thank you in advance but does anyone want to point me toward some nice resources... THANKS also I did ye classic aliases sudo to fucking6
-
iOS 10 pulls this 3D Touch shit on me and they're dropping headphone jacks. What's next? Vegan iPhones? Gluten free home buttons? Over engineered shit. Nobody wants 3D Touch. It's stupid.3
-
I want to rant about 14yo me approaching css, cause I feel a lot like lately I am ranting a lot (irl mostly) and forgot we all start humbly.
- Be 14 yo me and start learning css
- Spend two hours trying to make a css file work
- Get angry at the file (the 14yo me lost his cool a lot) and say css is stupid
- Realise 1 and l have the same representation in the current font
- get bright red
- change that letter
- all works
- hide the face in the pillow and feel stupid
- no, I meant really stupid
Btw 14yo me you were right, css IS stupid, mostly due to inconsistencies and IE5 -
Developers who think spaces are better than tabs.
Seriously every editor other than Notepad lets you set how many spaces a tab is equal to. Stop trying to force your stupid 2 space tabs on me.4 -
Have I told you all lately how much I hate your stupid 'free trial' bullshit that requires me to enter a credit card ? Have I ?
Hmm.
Maybe I have.3 -
End of a week of wonderful vacation with my SO. Time to go back dealing with a stupid company and its stupid clients.
I guess coffee and Whisky are waiting for me -
I tell friends ways to hack "jailed" devices to run linux or other custom software. Because they have no clue about such.. I do it for them.. -.- WHY DO I EVEN TELL THEM???
-
Im new in my job now Im working for a half year and my boss is frequently saying to me that Iam stupid and useless.
I don't know but is this kind of normal?6 -
It just struck me that by long-pressing backspace on the virtual keyboard I can use emoji.
I feel kind of stupid right now. 😶2 -
"You're invited to our invite only webinar on mobile application and mobile user experience development"
Cool, good on me now fuck off with stupid fucking webinars!1 -
Fuck I forgot to make a database export before I executed delete statements on a production database...
All went fine though. Nothing broke.5 -
When people mail me asking something i think is stupid question i reply with this pic,
(It is also my profile picture on Linq now) :(
-
Gitlab keeps telling me that I should 'update ASAP' but I can't. What the fuck ubuntu is it too hard to upgrade someting to the latest version? Or am I just simply too stupid? Fuck!2
-
So a guy told me about a problem he has, and I showed him a tool that I have built that solve his exact problem, but he answered "Nah thanks I am good".
What ? Why ? Are you stupid ? It's free3 -
tomorrow i have a presentation of a webapp but last night i decided to change the ui. i am not done yet and this frontend is driving me nuts.13
-
I hate myself. I have insomnia. Sleeping is hard for me. I can be easily waken up by little movements, change of temperature and even little noise. Also I have a nasal cycle. When I'm asleep I can even wake up because of this stupid nasal cycle.
A long deep uninterrupted sleep or breathing in both of my nostril is heaven for me.1 -
Reinstalled windows.
Now it updates.
Stayed for 10 freakin minutes on "Working on updates. 100% complete. Don't turn off your computer!" and then went back to 0%. FUCK YOU WINDOWS, FUCK ME FOR NOT BEING ABLE TO RUN LOL ON UBUNTU. FUCK FUCK FUCK.3 -
Headphones, best music playlists I have and a good cup of coffee.
Good for 4 hours straight of coding/planning if no one asks me to extinguish some stupid fire they made.3 -
Can anyone tell me if is normal a design department earn more than a IT department??? Am I crazy or this is plain stupid???11
-
Someone tagged PEBCAK on here the other day and it reminded me that I have this printed and hanging in my cubicle. It helps me not break my computer when someone comes to me to help them with stupid things.
-
rumor has it dfox and trogus are abandoning their jobs to prioritize adding stories to devRant.
i mean, a social network without stories? sounds incredibly stupid and irrational to me8 -
!rant
I'm having an awkward episode of excitement-fear-shock, so I don't know why I'm exactly writing this; I just needed to tell this to someone.
Few hours ago, I found out that, in a hardly believable turn of events, I have been accepted in a PhD program in the exact field I wanted, computability theory, in one of the top universities in my country. I would say this is a dream, to have the chance to study what I like most in this world, now I see I just got the opportunity to make this dream come true.
With an absurd feeling of joy and sadness, it also means that I have to let go of programming, at least as a career. I really don't know if I will have to crave for the job I have right now ever again, but I know that I won't regret this decision; this is what I want.
But anyway, I enjoy to code, and I will enjoy it any time.
dev4Life2 -
Fuck you javascript. You're the worst. Fuck you fuck you. Why I became a fucking frontend developer. Fuck me and my stupid idea to get hired as a...
Oh nvm found the bug. JS is za best.1 -
Every time somone who i have nearly forgott about calls me. I know im gonne get a stupid IT or Tech question...
- Why is my internet slow?
- Can you make a better {xyz}.... for free?
- How can i make my computer faster
- Why does office/spotify/chrome crash?
- Can you teache me programming so i can get rich?
FUCK THEM!
Really, i've got more relevant stuff to do. If you wouldnt have killed all your braincells with smoking and drinking and did something with your life you wouldnt have to ask such stupid questions in the first place. And thanks for never contacting me in the past X years! -
Lesson learned today :
Don't get lazy and muscle monkey hanging out your laundry..
Like your code, you'll eventually regret monkeying it.1 -
I handle multiple projects at a time... Sometimes I feel stupid to mess up the basic syntax of Kotlin and Java.
So I made a stupid mistake in my code like this. I wrote this in Java file
" val something : String = "value"; " (which this is a Kotlin syntax, without knowing that I am coding in a Java file not Kotlin!
Oh stupid me~3 -
Customer: You don't seem very comfortable with this; maybe you could pass it on to another engineer..?
Situation:
I'm a System Management team engineer. Customer is asking about licensing (which is a different team) and has that very rude habit of asking a question, doing a small pause in which I start answering, and then speaking again and cutting me off; thus causing me to seem very splutter-y. Since I couldn't give a definitive answer to his licensing question he doubts everything and thinks I can't do crap. And he's the one who wants me to sit on an upgrade with him because he's too afraid to follow documentation.
His words to me: "Have you ever done this upgrade before; I mean are you familiar with it?"
Me: "Nope since it's not policy to sit on upgrades as we are a break-fix center but I've directed other customers to do it through the documentation I've given you and they got on fine."
Seriously doubt the capacity of some of these guys to do an upgrade where there's step-by-step videos and very legit documentation (never mind this upgrade uses the tool which has the best record for not breaking)4 -
Friday me: writes a few hundred lines of code.
Saturday me: I know exactly what to do.
Sunday me: *thinks of new ideas for said code*
Monday me: *feels like death* what is this shit on my screen?! *realizes this is mine* what the fuck was I thinking?!?! *deletes everything but one line*
Monday me (later in the day): *one line still there* well...time to go home I've done my work for the day! -
The dev behind me just send some code changes to another dev because those two dont want (or are just too stupid) to merge their code with git...2
-
So i fcked up a lot monday. I was working on ftp system and i had some problems, so i wanted to test on my own account.
What i didn't realise was that usermod -g group user
Overrides current users instead of adding them like
Usermod -G group user
So i overrided my users groups including root.
And the next day i logged in, my user didn't have sudo permission 😊
Luckily the owner had a friend with sudo which saved us. Because we only have 1 account which we me and the owner uses. -
1.Coworker wanting to do small talk
2.coworker hoeing me random things
3.coworker asking stupid questions1 -
Fucking gdb with your stupid commands, showing me the memory allocation, shos me the data you stupid piece of shit, what is the value pointed by the pointer.
*Segmentation fault**core dumped*
Oh gdb! How much I missed you. Please don't ever leave me okay? -
Worked on a project form 8AM-12midnight straight and wanted to copy the project somewhere else.
My stupid brain just shift + delated the whole working project.
lmk if it's just me or have any of you also done stupid mistakes like this?
Just so I can calm my bird brain and at least think of another career path.
5 -
Stupid shits, if I am converting this app from the VBA to a modern web app. Don't fucking suggest me copying and pasting tens of thousands of lines of shitty spaghetti code, into a new Web project.4
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Be me.
Read corpo spam.
"It's good to KISS at work"
WTF.
Keep it short and simple.
WTF**2
It's "keep it simple, stupid"
"Keep is shot and simple" would be KIS-AS5 -
Hacktoberfest ist starting!
You can get a free Tshirt when contributing!
More info @ https://hacktoberfest.digitalocean.com/.........
btw I seem to be to stupid to find anything I could help with, so no shirt for me = /3 -
Oh shit! My previous rant is super stupid! Fuck me.
Its almost like:
isalpha (value);
And asking why are you putting the value if you already know. 😐 Now I understood it's General way of showing things. Noob issues! 😬
Now I understood how people overreact just because they didn't think for a second.
Stupid me. 🙈 -
So i kind of fucked up...
I am currently living out of town and only have my laptop and rpi with me. Wanting to try something new, i decided to challenge myself to only use linux until i get back home, but i also wanted a new distro. (Oh and btw my only internet connection is provided by my phone and tablet, which is used as a hotspot, and because i already used all of my monthly data on the tablet now i only have my phone and an unlimited 128kbps connection which turns into a decent connection only after 11pm)
I downloaded the distro image last night and was planning to install it today, so i shutdown the laptop immediately after the download finished). If only i remembered that i had already wiped the old linux partition containing GRUB.
So now i need to wait until 11 pm so i can download another image on my rpi and flash it to my usb drive. Fuck me...
I guess i'll relax until then.1 -
[SPOILER]
I just watched Black Mirror: Bandersnatch the movie with chromecast, I didn't know what was going on until the movie told me, then I switched to the laptop5 -
Screw Java. Spent the last two days in this language and it's driving me to fits. Tried making a generic function. Java can't seem to easily handle generic typed arrays. Java threw a fit when I converted an array function to an integer function. Java has all this stupid boilerplate code that you put on every stupid thing.
Programming in Java is about as pleasurable as running face first into a brick wall.2 -
I recently solved a ticket: 'make buttons on mobile more mobile-like'
...
stupid customer? no, it was stupid me :p -
Someone save me from this fucking stupid corporate web based trainings and let me focus on more important shit like re-factoring my code (ohh joke) and/or writing something more code then going what i just mentioned above.
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!dev
Why is it that whenever I have a goal, everybody comes out of the woodwork to tell me I'm stupid and am not capable of achieving it, but whenever I do achieve something on my own they expect thanks and recognition for all the "support and guidance" they gave along the way?
Surely this can't be just me experiencing this?2 -
Some clients are down right stupid, the guy send me a shortcut to a video to upload to a site, this is man who wants the WordPress user manual
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Something that absolutely drives me crazy is how there is no TreeView of my repositories in SourceTree... just the stupid scroll bar at the top! UGHH!!!
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Today was the last day in a project that I've hated so much. But now I'm feeling kind of nostalgic. What the fuck is wrong with me?
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“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin
I am in the higher percentile. That means 95% of you are dumber than me! ;-)7 -
I am done with NetBeans! This damn fucking stupid shit of software 😤. PhpStorm let me feel I am in heaven 😍.
Today I have setuped new system. Pray for convincing my boss to fork some license for me within the next 30 days 🙏🙏🙏.2 -
FUCK EVERYONE right now. Stupid business with vague information, stupid dev team making SHITTY code. STUPID AUTO CORRECT TRYING TO CENSOR ME!1
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Yesterday Ibdid buy an iPhone. I did it to learn swift development and people started to tell me that it was stupid.
I know I could have just used my emulator on my Mac but I just do not want to, testings apps is better in their real envieonment
I hope you guys understand my point, I am getting tired of all this "you stupid iPhone owner" shit
PD: I regret nothing3 -
HOLY FUCK! How can you be that stupid , fuck me Im literally losing business as we speak
(Yes I tried to continue it) #dontgiveup3 -
FUCK. I'M DONE WITH THIS SHIT. CAN'T GET MY HEAD AROUND THIS.
My intelligence is limited to Java & Python.
NO VARIABLES, RETURN TYPES..NOTHING! JUST FUCKING MAGIC! AND ALSO, FUCK EMACS.
2 -
So it's been a long semester and I was writing my final project earlier today. I wrote a for loop which removed objects from the list it was iterating through. And my linter let me. Why do I even use you, pylint? I could have saved hours of debugging if you gave me a message that I was doing a stupid thing5
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Exercise more in reading your own code or looking up on Google if something doesn't work, so many times someone asks me a question and it takes me 5 seconds to see they made a stupid mistake or a typo. Then I think to myself "you could've easily found that out seriously, stop wasting my 5 seconds"
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Anybody in game industry? For me currently I am digging into some bullshit our smartest artists created, some guys just wrote their name in the commit log without any useful information, OK, OK, I know who you are already, please don't tell me your stupid name again thanks#YOURACCOUNTISYOURNAME!!!🙈🙉🙊
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The theme files of this WordPress site I'm supposed to improve are completely and unnecessarily custom for a simple ecommerce site. I'm really regretting not spending some free time I had recently to better learn plugin programming to abstract out this functionality for this customer.
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Damn some stupid moves can literally fuck you up.
I just moved to linux distros around 4 to 5 months back. And I have installed and reinstalled it many times. So I thought it's simple and cool af.
So last time when i installed Ubuntu 18.04 i had it installed it on SSD and mounted my home from HDD. I felt super awesome. It worked perfectoo! 😘
And now I had some issues with dual booting so i planned to resort it and make it clean.
So during the installation process there's a part where you gotta select where to installation path and all. Its been a long time since I did a clean installation and TBH i forgot the / and /home . So what i did I put / on my previously maintained home instead of putting it on the SSD.
Now I am FUCKED!
Guys never ever make this mistake. It's baaad. Reaaal bad!2 -
Dear emailing list,
Do not send me a confirmation email to let me know that my cancellation to your stupid email list was successful. Fuck you. I don't believe you. -
Was trying to solve an error for half an hour and it ended up me being stupid because I typed userame instead of username
-
@#&$%₩
Stupid fucking Astrobox, why won't you pick up the 3d printer anymore??
Why is this fucking piece of shit giving me issues every goddamn time I try to use it? Why?? -
Oouh night, why u go so fast? I have to note all that ideas u fucking gave to me of that stupid 700 lines algorithm's issue. Be nice just fucking once or just pass it to day and let me fucking sleep!
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You stupid tester first add you freaking requirements and not just put back stories on todo and say it's not finished. You are just testing how an web app works. We can also automate that process you know!!!!
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When I first joined my company as a fresher, and learnt Shell, someone suggested me to write a script, which would be useful to me as well as help me learn, that would pull code from all the projects that the company has.
Today, the other fresher, asked me for it (he learnt shell after me)... So I shared it on github. I know its kinda stupid :P
https://github.com/AseedUsmani/...
Reviews?2 -
I forgot the fucking package I use to take pictures on my damn raspberry pi 4 since raspistill doesn't work (at least i couldn't get it to) i installed a recommended alternative AND I FUCKING FORGOT WHAT IT IS a week later.
I should've been in bed an hour ago for fucking work tomorrow, instead i'm trying to find the damn damn support forums i was reading last week to find a solution I already found before FUCK
I need to actually work on using my damn knowledge documentation system i'm fucking working on so i don't forget shit like this FUCK4 -
Could be a stupid question, but I'm asking anyway. If I have a Java application, it's legal for me to package dependencies in it's jar, right? (In this case GSON)5
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Hey everyone. Just thought you might need me a little pick me up about how stupid the whole world is:
https://youtu.be/hkDD03yeLnU1 -
I found out this week if I got into the early admit software engineering program at one of my top colleges but waiting for this stupid letter is slowly killing me!!!
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This is so fucking stupid. Fuck. When they log defects on jira for different issues on the same page but in different tickets I end up having merge conflicts with myself. Like are you fucking kidding me?
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Feeling stupid as fuck in a group programming with our lead engineer (and Im the one driving). Tell me Im not useless :(1
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Never thought an underscore could bug me till today. Took me three hours to find out if I removed the underscore the form field would be required. Thanks stupid formhandler
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Trying to figure out what the API your company has been using does with 2 pages of documentation sucks! The explanation given to me was also pretty stupid: "So... you click here and then... uhm... this link, and uhm..."
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Today wasted around 5 hours installing nginx, apache stills working and keeping listen on 80 port after uninstalling it reboot finally the thing was i dont change the fucking dns of the server and trying to connect to the domain 5 hours later tried to connect to the ip... Fuck my life1
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Stupid Zkoss won't let me assign a UI component more than one parent. Instead of getting to use preexisting components I get to make copy/paste carbon copies. Shot my plans for code resusability to hell and back.
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Dear .Net developers.
I wrote this tonight:
https://github.com/Future-Forward-S...
Please let me know if I am extremely clever, or extremely stupid.
P.s. I know it's not exactly ports and adapters. Rename needed maybe.4 -
I witness a lot of stupidity (programming related) in college, and my mind is constantly toggling between the following states:
* arguing with stupid people makes me look stupid too, so I should just ignore
* maybe I should educate them
* I am helpless - they won't listen to me
* what sins did I commit in my life that I have to see this
* what in the actual flying fuck are these idiots doing
* I AM STRESSED AND I NEED TO RELEASE IT1 -
> me when angry
" what the fuck you stupid dev stop doing crappy shit"
> me when trying to do stuff
#!/bin/bash set -e
echo "no please"
exit 0
I should stop blaming devs for doing crappy stuff -
Google: secure api keys in cordova
Results says I cant or I can but my brain dont understand the method
I'm banging my head against the wall aaaaaarghh3 -
Can someone help me with finding a good acronym definition for SPAM?
Ideas:
Super Pissed About Mail
Stupid People A? Mail
?19 -
IN THE NAME OF ALL THATS GOOD AND HOLY TELL ME HOW TO GET AWAY FROM THESECREATURES AND MOVE ON WITH FUCKING LIFE AND KEEP THEM FROM STEALING PROGRESS LIKE THE SUICIDAL STUPID CAPRICIOUS CHOMO PERVERTS THEY ARE !!!3
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When the developers trust a stupid, laggy, buggy mobile emulator more than chrome emulator, seeing shit that's ONLY reproduceable in said emulator. Driving me fucking nuts.
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Whelp, I guess it just one of those days. Keep making stupid mistakes at work. On the plus side my boss is really understanding and hasn't given me a bollocking.1
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time to head into javascript code testing, as i'm annoyed af of testing everything by hand whether my feature works and find the cause to some problems i have encountered
.... but first let me "npm init -y" and "npm i jest" (as the tutorial suggests) real quick in my git project ... whoops😯😐😶🤨 ... woah, ok ... 5000 added files, shit, dependencies 🙄... delete all ... git error😐😥
delete folder manually😪😅
resuming paused tutorial: "and if you've got a git repository, just install jest globally, do not do this in your repo!"
.... just happened to me😑😅2 -
Being in the "zone" and having to do some stupid shit immediately. Getting back into the "zone" is hard as fuck and then somebody questions me why it takes so long. Smh 😑
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Thanks sefuckalize-mock for not letting me insert 2 row,
Now Im replicating the whole sequelize module itself to stub shit for no reason idk fuck this why am I doing this for stupid unit testing -
If someone asking me stupid question
Someone: can you hack my gf social media?
Me: Are you a human? [ 10$^10£ - 0.5¥ = ?INR ]5 -
Incompetent bosses, open offices, stupid outfitting rules, ie compatibility mode, "fix me this", "explain me how does it work this app you've never used"
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