Join devRant
Do all the things like
++ or -- rants, post your own rants, comment on others' rants and build your customized dev avatar
Sign Up
Pipeless API
From the creators of devRant, Pipeless lets you power real-time personalized recommendations and activity feeds using a simple API
Learn More
-
That deserves to be here.
For me coding is best at about half of second 0,5l beer with ~5-6% alc. drunk at rate beer/hour. Did half of my bachelor's thesis during half of that second beer probably.
https://xkcd.com/323/
11 -
My router is behind my bed so I have an Ethernet cable running through the house from my computer. When I'm drunk I can just follow the cable to bed. it works out pretty well.5
-
Funny. Drunk, standing here waiting for my fries and thinking about rest api implementations. I'm weird.4
-
Drunk coded my entire assignment the other night without running it once. Went to debug when sober and the only thing I had to fix were a few typos.8
-
Just saved a life. I was just walking with the dog (it's 3am here) and there was a bleeding drunk on the street - completely unconscious. Must have fallen on his head. Got the police. The paramedics told me a few minutes ago that the guy had a skull fracture. A few hours later it would probably have been too late for him.5
-
drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"9 -
Was drunk at a party a few weeks ago, accidentally commented on a rant instead of making a new one. Idek how that happened.
5 -
!dev
!!rant
!!rooting while drunk
I got drunk last night and painted my nails. I bought a really pretty shade of purple that should match one of my favorite shirts, and it's my last day at the office today (EVER; lease is up), so dressing up is a great idea, right? I'll feel better and more confident and it'll make everyone miss me.
Except. I was drunk.
And for some reason thought painting them in the dark was a great idea.
Oh, they look horrible!
and apparently I don't own any nail polish remover, so.
Today's going to be the best day ever!
😄😅😢☹22 -
Yesterday, the whole dev team went out to lunch and we ate a lot and we drank a lot until we all got drunk! Since we are paid for the number of hours we work, we all decided to go back to the office and work.
WE WERE DRUNK WORKING! Drunk coding ftw
Result: The server is down right now because someone fucked it up and I think i ruined my code yesterday because I wasn't really myself. The whole team was crazy as fuck. One of us just came back from Poland so we were drunk and high from all the polish chocolate we ate.
I hope they fix the server so I can check what kind of bullshit the drunken me did yesterday o.O8 -
Drunk programming is the best obfuscation. Tomorrow morning I'll have no idea how any of this works.3
-
I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing. I remember getting a phone call from a client at 2am on a Friday because their site was down and having to ssh in from a Nokia with the world's tiniest keyboard to reboot the server.
Of course that particular server only exposed port 22 on it's local network, so I had to first ssh into another server which did have its ssh port open to external connections.
Trying to remember two sets of credentials and type them in on a tiny keyboard, while so drunk you were seeing double, standing outside in the rain as it was the only place you got signal. Yeah…I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing
7 -
Tried drunk coding yesterday for the first time which seems like a rite of passage for us.
Short endeavor. Turns out I cannot type when drunk.11 -
Drunk Dev 1: These wifi signals are really take toll of brain tissues and may probably cause brain cancer. 🙁
Drunk Dev 2: Let’s power off our wifi router. We don’t need wifi while drinking. 😏
Drunk Dev 1: Good, but what about other wifi signals in proximity. Your neighbours ?? 🤨
Drunk Dev 2: Oh poor, they wont get into our brains as our brains don’t have password for their wifi thus, we can’t connect to their access point 😎
Drunk Dev 1: 😳6 -
You know those alcohol breathalyzers they put on cars when you drunk drive?
Putting those on our VCS server.1 -
I drink hoping that one day I’ll invent something when I’m drunk bcz drunk me is smarter than sober me.
4 -
Well... My MacBook is officially drunk 😂😂😂
Was testing a code that I made 😅 it actually didn't use more than 8 GB memory lol
7 -
DON'T SUDO WHEN DRUNK
I rm-rf'ed my linux vm when i was drunk, and darn, it was wiped, clean and fresh12 -
I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.
-
Go home Google you are drunk!
Was converting a currency to USD and that error came up, what is funny is their system produced that result and it wasn't me who entered it .-.
15 -
Does anyone knows how to put these down, without making the whole laptop sticky mess? Because the fucking alignment makes me inner scream.
16 -
Coding while drunk currently in the middle of the fucking day, hopefully I wont regret this tomorrow? Who am i kidding I'm writing brilliant code i should code drunk more often2
-
Most normal people will now be heading home before enjoying their weekend with alcohol and hopefully friends and family.
However I can get pissed on 2 bottles of cider. Friends are busy tonight and family is elsewhere.
So tonight will be spent on designing a side project drunk and tomorrow will be spent repeatedly saying "what the fuck" while reviewing it. Either something good or something terrible will happen. Wish me luck.8 -
NEVER take a shot of vodka every time Unity (on Mac) crashes...
You'll end up way beyond drunk before 12am7 -
It's 11 pm. I'm almost drunk and I have realized I have spent too much of my life learning. I have spent too much time working. I may only be 25 but I still am dedicating up to 100+ hours a week to my job and it needs to stop. It has only left me sad alone and drunk. I hope others on here try to have some social life because sitting here drunk and lonely sucks. Maybe I shouldn't be so picky. Who knows. Enjoy life when you can.10
-
Forgot I had an interview at 9am the next day so I got super drunk the night before. Let me tell you, it's very difficult to pull back from smelling like whiskey and having to down three red bulls before you go in to keep awake.
-
!rant
I came back from a wedding party this morning, went to bad very drunk, my mind was rotating with my eyes closed, but surprisingly I was able to think about JavaScript code I am about to write for a project.6 -
remember when our whole dev team was drunk but we went back to work anyway? turns out, someone rm -rf a whole folder of js scripts!! it took us some time before we could find the back up files which were in the old server (that crashed) because recently we changed servers (so we were transferring files) and we are now using amazon.
our boss got so pissed this morning but oh well, it was his idea to drink and feast in the first place!7 -
Been drinking like a litre of beer yesterday after a long day of work, came home like at 2.35 AM.
Today's gonna be a long day and I only slept 6h40m and I'm still feeling drunk.
What an awesome way to start working!
Also, making an AR project in unity, doing stuff I dunno how to do11 -
Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze8 -
Incredibly drunk last night.
Decided to take the CD/DVD drive out of my old PC (now a server) and put it into my new gaming PC.
Required a partial rebuild because:
1) GPU was too close to PSU to plug in a new SATA power line
2) CPU cooling lines were directly in the way of the space for the DVD/CD bay
3) Had to route the new power cables of course
Incredibly, even though I couldn't stand, I was able to perfectly execute the maintenance on both machines and I'm even using the new PC to write this rant now.
I must be a God.5 -
!rant
Sometimes I think I am (a developer) is similar to a samurai or a yakuza. Once we get into this business, we just cannot get out of it. :?
// I am starting to get drunk. It is lucky for you guys that we have 2 hours interval. I don't expect my next post to be any good.4 -
#CocktailRant
TODAY: Azzurro
Made with coconut liquor, rum, blue syrup and pineapple/passion fruit juice, Azzurro is one of the few cocktails that can make you really freaking drunk while don't noticing it.
Just throw everything in a blender and mix it with some ice cubes.
Ingredients:
- Curaçao Syrup
- Malibu
- Barcadi white rum
- pineapple juice
- passion fruit juice
10 -
!Rant && !Believe what I am seeing 😓
Just downloaded Android studio 3 to give kotlin a go to find out their designer is soooo much better now, I tried editing an activity with constraint layout and many elements inside without a single freez 😨5 -
Mary Christmas to all of you and remember not to connect to production when you’re drunk.
Our lager,
Which art in barrels,
Hallowed be thy drink,
Thy will be drunk,
(I will be drunk),
At home as I am in the tavern.
Give us this day our foamy head,
And forgive us our spillages,
As we forgive those who spill against us,
and lead us not to incarceration,
But deliver us from hangovers,
For thine is the beer,
The bitter and the lager,
Forever and ever,
Barmen -
On the first day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
A drunk who drove into a tree
On the second day of Christmas
My true love gave to me
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree....
Twelve beaten children
Eleven drive-by shootings
Ten frozen homeless
Nine amputations
Eight burn victims
Seven strangled shoppers
Six random knifings
Five suicides
Four beaten wives
Three O.D.'s
Two shattered skulls
And a drunk who drove into a tree6 -
Completely drunk...coming from a farewell Party of a good colleague...sad to see good people leaving3
-
Well look at me, high as fuck and drunk past reasoning fixing the production environment. Wish me luck.1
-
Not a rant, of course, life is amazing but why did I get a 3rd pack of stickers after only paying for one?
Also my new Pi arrived and I'm getting afternoon drunk.
Afternoon drunk = #1 drunk.
Have a great weekend, you fucks.
10 -
What people don't get about drinking and coding is this.
Coding and development is very similar to art. You've to be creative in your solutions. You've withdraw all emotions and concentrate. And you've to find your own creativity.
You have drunk artists all the time, why not drunk coders?11 -
ffs.
Got to the office in the morning. Boss says, ok we want to do a toast for one thing or the other. Got a nice glass of red wine. drank it. Nice wine. got back to my computer, and started to work. the boss man calls me back. I say whats up? he says, bottle of whiskey....
drunk coding is fun!5 -
Sittning on a train home drunk a f right now. Only thing I can think of is the interview I got on monday. Fml. Shouldnt rant while im drunk. God save the queeen.2
-
Debugged a complex bug at 10 PM, drunk and eating potato wedges, while on the phone with another drunk co worker.
Woke up next morning and had no memory of the fix.7 -
You know you fucked up when you have to finish your code for the 8 am and you are drunk in the street, point for me (sorry for the back bad English, I'm drunk and my language is the Spanish)1
-
Getting drunk texts from my employees that just remembered something to do at night on a Saturday is definitely one of the highlights of my weekend.
I don't trip, poor dudes get fucking tasked out of the ass by the entire institution, and whilst I try to shield them from bullshit as much as I can their duties entail a lot of stuff, if they forgot to do 1 task out of the fucking 100s of shit they are asked to do on a daily basis that is fine really. I am never going to shit on them for it. It happens, specially when you are understaffed and everyone has thousands of additional duties. I really try man.
But yeh, them drunk texts are funny af. Makes me think exactly what the fuck were these dudes going through that somehow something clicked and reminded them of a pending item.6 -
In a gay bar. Pretty drunk.
It's funny how "I'm drunk and cannot be held responsible" doesn't seem to be terrifying2 -
Go home Mac App Store, you are drunk for 6 months now, every time I want to get over this annoying update I just update and then up like what I just found when checking for updates :)(
10 -
First time having Baileys and it does not taste like 17% alcohol. But it tastes good enough to get drunk before learning for exams in the next weeks7
-
I am so fucking drunk but still I ended up completing a task which is a feature request.... I have no idea how I did it... But it works in staging... That's what I remember.... Will see tomorrow.... I am also the tester in the hierarchy which starts and ends with me... I don't know whether this qualifies as a rant3
-
CSV wouldn't import to database despite researching problem for the past hour. Fuck it I'm getting drunk9
-
Don't you also just hate this strange bug where your smartphone writes weird messages when you're drunk?2
-
I love programming drunk! I can't sit still and always want to do stuff. When I'm drunk / tipsy I come up with ideas and start working on it. Most of the time in the morning, when my mind is clear, I'm not so creative and open minded as I'm drunk. Sometimes my ideas ain't that bad, but I loose interest in developing it any further. So I stop working on it.
This is a while == true loop -
I came home about 1am and saw a bug in a small (unpaid...) project that had to do with timezones (see some earlier rants). Fixed it, got to bed.
A few days later I realized that a feature I implemented before was gone. Going through the git log I found out it was me in that night who removed it, by accident I suppose.
Not the end of the world but I was quite intrigued by my own drunk ability to remove a feature that had nothing to to with what I was doing and not even noticing it.2 -
Programming while drunk:
if (not drunk !== yes) { then return dance.png } else {return 'idk"}
I shouldn't rant while crunk let alone program 😂🙄5 -
I am drunk right now. Just wanted to let you guys know that I love you and that I am really proud to be part of such a nice community. I know that we Devs sometimes have a hard time due to our profession, but I am happy that we are still able to stay strong together.
And now good night. Have to work in 6 hours.5 -
Ok this is a weird story.
So myself and two friends were working on a chrome extension several years ago, probably late high school/early college years.
So before any of us had seen the ballmer peak xkcd, I had discovered it on my own. I was telling my friend that we should start drinking because a)it's Saturday night, and b) I code better buzzed. So he decided to push the limits. He poured my drink super heavy, then another, then didn't finish his and insisted I did. He ended up getting me super drunk. I started going off on how they were doing it wrong, then took over the keyboard. What I wrote cannot even be considered code. I went on an incoherent rant, puked in a trash can, and then woke up in the bathroom with a towel as a pillow.
And that's the story of why my friends are convinced the ballmer peak is definitely not a thing.1 -
When after a drunk night your code is working and yesterday's bugs are all gone.
I'm so lucky that drunken me is my coworker. (:2 -
At first glance, this week's group rant seems perfect for me since I have drunk coded at least 2 to 3 times per month (my TGIFs are usually followed by Saturday morning demo meetings).
However I cannot say I have had any particular "worst" code that I have done so far.
Yea I once formatted and installed some linux distro while drunk and couldn't remember the login info the next morning.
Yea I once exported, imported between dbs from prod and local while drunk and lost this and that data.
Yes I once decided to organize my repositories and somehow deleted some repos without any backup while I was drunk.
I was fine. I somehow solved my way out by either bullshitting or being quiet or fixing without any sleep. Most of the times nobody really comprehend the extent of my actions. So I was fine. Hence I really don't have any particular worst drunk coding experience yet.
Best drunk coding experience?
Well I do not agree that coding while drunk is a pleasurable or fun thing to do. So I don't really have that either.
This week's topic is actually a very tough one although it might seem easy. -
Deployed to production on Sat evening while drunk, surprisingly everything went smoothly. I think this was the first and last time I'll be releasing like this, lol.
Similar stupid experiences anyone?3 -
CLEARLY! ...
I'm drunk.
//motherfucking populate the mailings table yo
Route::get('fuckman', function () {
$statuses = array('queued', 'sent', 'failure');
$statusKey = rand(0,2);
$mailings=App\Models\Mailing::all();
foreach($mailings as $mailing){
$mailing->status=$statuses[$statusKey];
$mailing->save();
}
return 'fuckyou';
}); -
We got drunk with the most geek friends, and now the subject is based on the pigeonhole principle, one of us drank at least one extra bottle :/
(this is the first time I've ever seen this principle being used properly 😂) -
The problem with drinking alone is that there always comes that time where you're just drunk enough and don't feel like you can get more statisfaction from drinking more...
What do you want body, I wanna get wasted1 -
Thank drunk me for making a backup.
My day could have been a whole lot worse.
...not using git for this particular endeavor.1 -
Sometimes when I’m drunk, I create functions in my head for things like default answers and stuff..3
-
Feeling handicapped when swiftkey is not working
Feeling completely useless when drunk and swiftkey is not working -
Installed on my 2x 980 TI SLI the newest Nvidia Driver 384.76.
Played games on it and some Video Editing. Noticed that I have bad laggs and checked clocks.
Wow clocks were locked at half the max Output. Checked if I can do anything to increase it, nope it's locked at half the Performance.
Tried to install previous Driver, install failed. Went 2 Drivers back and installed the 382.33.
Everything worked again.
WTF are the guys at NVIDIA coding while being drunk?? How the fuck can you lock the powertarget of the GPU at half the Performance and after 4 days not releasing a hotfix? Are they testing this shit even or forcing it into production?
Currently NVIDIA has really crappy drivers and with every update it gets even worse.
And the only option you got is GPU's from NVIDIA and AMD. And Vega is not even released yet.
Hope that AMD will beat the shit out of NVIDIA...5 -
Go home Telegram you're drunk.😂
Traslate: 25 of 6. (Search results)
P.S: I still hate whatsapp, telegram for ever.
-
Why do you get so fucking full so damn fast when you're drunk. It's really fucking annoying.
Seagull.1 -
I was in a okay mood. Then i drank. I had fun skyping with some people (dont judge, it was their choice). Now im drunk, alone and getting more and more depressed.
Im honestly considering going to McDonalds and give away a few rubber ducks and show some card tricks, maybe ill get some friends. Or haters.
Conclusion: I hate when i get drunk. When im sober, i cant wait to get drunk. This isnt even a conclusion, i have no idea what im doing.12 -
Working on installing manjaro with i3 on an old Thinkpad T61 I got for 50 dollars. It's taking forever cause the internet speeds suck here and I've never installed anything but Ubuntu and mint so I'm hoping it goes well.
Anyone have any tips got this device?
Also slightly drunk, so that's a thing I guess.3 -
The only thing I coded while drunk was a girls name and her phone number,
I write "leyla" and it then turned out her name was actually "irem"
Yeah I'm not going to open the pandoras box with drunk commits when I can fuck up a name 😐3 -
So I resigned from work 6 months ago and they counter offered with a sweet pay deal as they were totally fubar without me
That 6 month deal expired today and they are totally surprised that Im not going back to full time (so I can work on my start-up side project)
I've offered to go back part time on a more reasonable salary and they are totally pissed. Surely the writing was on the wall!!
Here is an idea. When your bus factor is 1... Hire some other people! -
Love it!!
jump on Customer Call 1st thing in the morning and this Doll is bouncing off the walls,
I actually think shes a alcho who rocks up in the morning buzzing In the Best of form
if ur gona be a drunk, be a happy drunk
-
!rant
there's gotta be another drunk post of me now sores
What I love about devRant aren't only the rants but really the comments. In almost every rant the comet section is at least as funny ass the rant it self. This shows how awesome this community isch.
Don't drunk as much as me and I really do.enjoy being part of this aesome part of the interwebs.1 -
What happens when programmers are drunk like shit in an office party, and you try to leave?
"import back that muthafucka and lets build his balls" -
Should I try?
Some obscure dating app would come out I guess o_o (considering I get depressive when drunk :D) -
It's always weird drinking, then eating, suddently being not drunk and getting drunk again
It's just that there's never enough alcohol4 -
GDB&Code::Blocks got drunk together and this is apparently normal now. For like an hour already.
I DIDN'T RUN ANY FUCKING CODE IN BETWEEN THESE COMMANDS WTF IS THE DEBUGGER DOING ????
3 -
Are there anything that's more fun to program when you're drunk? I'm in an extensional crisis, herlp3
Top Tags
Weekly Rant
View