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A few years ago when I was still an apple fan boy, friend of mine bragging me about how android is awesome, we were drinking some shots at our local pub and I was starting to get light headed. At one point he showed me so called "terminal emulator" app. I checked it out, and assumed it's an emulation, just like dosbox, so I decided to verify that "rm -rf *"... (the phone was rooted)
The phone shutdown within seconds, I couldn't stop laughing, while my friend was shock that his new phone was longer booting.
Luckily he managed to reflash the ROM. What can I learn from that experience?
1. Don't drink and sudo
2. Don't call your app an emulator if it's the real deal.24 -
That deserves to be here.
For me coding is best at about half of second 0,5l beer with ~5-6% alc. drunk at rate beer/hour. Did half of my bachelor's thesis during half of that second beer probably.
https://xkcd.com/323/
11 -
*Me having after 10 glass of beer searching for a problem solution*
Me to me : WTF! GOOGLE STOPPED WORKING?
6 -
My router is behind my bed so I have an Ethernet cable running through the house from my computer. When I'm drunk I can just follow the cable to bed. it works out pretty well.5
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Funny. Drunk, standing here waiting for my fries and thinking about rest api implementations. I'm weird.4
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Drunk coded my entire assignment the other night without running it once. Went to debug when sober and the only thing I had to fix were a few typos.8
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Just saved a life. I was just walking with the dog (it's 3am here) and there was a bleeding drunk on the street - completely unconscious. Must have fallen on his head. Got the police. The paramedics told me a few minutes ago that the guy had a skull fracture. A few hours later it would probably have been too late for him.5
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drunk me: "let's just code a bit right before going to bed!"
*codes and then goes to bed*
sober me: "when and what did i do here?"
(...)
also sober me: "how the hell does this work?!"9 -
Yeah. Exactly. Its the year 2718. Humanity was destroyed by a deadly virus. The only thing that's left is A GIGBAYTE MAINBOARD.
6 -
Was drunk at a party a few weeks ago, accidentally commented on a rant instead of making a new one. Idek how that happened.
5 -
!dev
!!rant
!!rooting while drunk
I got drunk last night and painted my nails. I bought a really pretty shade of purple that should match one of my favorite shirts, and it's my last day at the office today (EVER; lease is up), so dressing up is a great idea, right? I'll feel better and more confident and it'll make everyone miss me.
Except. I was drunk.
And for some reason thought painting them in the dark was a great idea.
Oh, they look horrible!
and apparently I don't own any nail polish remover, so.
Today's going to be the best day ever!
😄😅😢☹23 -
Had a client who was not satisfied with dropdowns, nor checkboxes. He wanted dropdown checkboxes.
Well, horrible shit but nothing javascript can't do.10 -
Yesterday, the whole dev team went out to lunch and we ate a lot and we drank a lot until we all got drunk! Since we are paid for the number of hours we work, we all decided to go back to the office and work.
WE WERE DRUNK WORKING! Drunk coding ftw
Result: The server is down right now because someone fucked it up and I think i ruined my code yesterday because I wasn't really myself. The whole team was crazy as fuck. One of us just came back from Poland so we were drunk and high from all the polish chocolate we ate.
I hope they fix the server so I can check what kind of bullshit the drunken me did yesterday o.O8 -
I'm a bad influence.
It's been a tradition for me to keep a bottle of 'desk whiskey' buried in a drawer at work. A couple weeks ago, I started inviting cube mates over for a drink on Fridays as five pm rolled around.
Soon one of them brought in a bottle of scotch. Then another.
Started observing the afternoon drink on days other than Friday, more folks got involved...
Now the CTO talks about "Whiskey O' Clock" daily.
🍺5 -
Just wanna say I fucking LOVE..
... Linux
... Open source
... GPL & MIT License
... SO
.., devRant
... more stuff
... TDDR (Too Dunk, Don’t Remember)
Most of us are complaining / ranting way more often about development and technology than we do appreciate it..
Just look at our great and unique community..
Im often angry but right now I remember how great the dev community is and I love it:)4 -
Drunk programming is the best obfuscation. Tomorrow morning I'll have no idea how any of this works.3
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I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing. I remember getting a phone call from a client at 2am on a Friday because their site was down and having to ssh in from a Nokia with the world's tiniest keyboard to reboot the server.
Of course that particular server only exposed port 22 on it's local network, so I had to first ssh into another server which did have its ssh port open to external connections.
Trying to remember two sets of credentials and type them in on a tiny keyboard, while so drunk you were seeing double, standing outside in the rain as it was the only place you got signal. Yeah…I'm so grateful DevOps is now a thing
7 -
The award of fastest internet on earth goes to me :D
*note:
its just Ubuntu was not able to update date/time settings during setup cuz I had wifi turned off, turned it back on and ran apt-get update, must have started before the system was able to update its date/time settings, so ya I did not photshop :)
11 -
You know those alcohol breathalyzers they put on cars when you drunk drive?
Putting those on our VCS server.1 -
I found my people. We're going to start late night drunken security certification studying. Germany is fucking awesome. I haven't had anything to rant about since my flight here.
Also, celebration: my terrible boss declined the job offer from the company that bought us out. Life fucking rocks10 -
I was nights out drinking yesterday. Today I discovered that I've booked a flight and a hotel for Lisbon. I don't remember doing that. 😆
Well... it's non refundable, so vacation it is.25 -
Well... My MacBook is officially drunk 😂😂😂
Was testing a code that I made 😅 it actually didn't use more than 8 GB memory lol
7 -
So apparently the Android O mascot is female... Look, Google it's great your trying to be diversified but... It's an Oreo... A fucking Oreo...
(And this is coming from a Google fan boy)6 -
Waking up after a drinking night and rushing to your computer to make sure you didn't mess around with your projects 😨1
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!dev
!!vodka!
!batch files. because they're stupid.
Preface: I may be drunk. If not, I'll keep trying ~
Update: no, i'm already kinda wasted.
I told @AlexDeLarge that I would try Reyka today and let him know how it is. So, let's have at it!
At the recommendation of a friend, I tried Deep Eddy (vodka) a few weeks ago. It's extremely smooth and very good. Totally recommend. I can drink it straight, or with a tiny bit of water.
The same friend also recommended Reyka, which I bought earlier today (among quite a few other things, because alcohol). Here's what I discovered:
With Reyka, I was expecting something extremely smooth and almost tasteless, but tasteless it is not. Reyka tastes halfway between vodka and a good gin, like Bombay Sapphire. It actually has a *lot* of flavor, but the vodka itself is actually pretty high quality. I haven't found anything to mix with it yet, and I don't really like it straight. I might try lemon or lemonade next.
If I was to recommend vodkas, it would be either Tito's, or Deep Eddy. (Reyka is kind of strange, so I don't know if I can recommend it yet.)
Tito's is smooth and tasty -- absolutely not a gross vodka flavor, but ... nice. All alcohols have different effects and make me feel different. Grey Goose makes me tired, Tito's makes me happy.
Deep Eddy is incredibly smooth, and has almost no taste at all. It's wonderful.
UPdte: I took awhilfe to wrte this and... I'm getting a little tooo drunkt o conitinue so i thnkg oin going to nd this rannt here. ssorry! ^^7 -
I don't really drink alcohol, but every time I look at my (old) code, it looks like I was drunk when writing it.
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Go home Google you are drunk!
Was converting a currency to USD and that error came up, what is funny is their system produced that result and it wasn't me who entered it .-.
15 -
Skype meeting with bosses be in the middle of the night and I'm drunk as hell.
Uh oh. This sure is fun and troublesome.
How can I be of your help, sir? (Hick)
Sure! I can (belched loudly) do that!
I'd be glad to have your help!
Went to the loo to the point, it's my chance to vomit secretly. Now's the chance to remove the toxin (my head is aching)... and felt so sad when all my food is wasted.14 -
This rant affects me indirectly.
It was our diploma project, me, and DrugKidProgrammer.
He was lazy, late, and all the shit that comes with and used to party hard on weekend.
I told him that while on vacation he’d better fucking manage to get the backend done, or at least ready to debug.
Guess what?
Guy was on alcohol and probably on lsd for most period of vacation and he managed to write the PHP files... with Javascript syntax.
Well, actually it was mixed.
When he came back he gave me the files he worked on (no version control at the time), and nothing was working, 500 errors everywhere. When I opened the files I found out String concaténations using ‘+’ and shit like this.
I spend 1 and a half day correcting this shit.
Fuck you mate.2 -
I'm definitely a vodka guy rather than beer or whiskey. I love how vodka makes my mind feel light / dreamy while still being fully conscious of things happening around me.
Just had a beautiful orange flavoured vodka with my friend.
I'm now gonna attempt some coding.9 -
Does anyone knows how to put these down, without making the whole laptop sticky mess? Because the fucking alignment makes me inner scream.
20 -
I fucking nailed my c exam.
Had to write C on paper today. Fuck my uni for that. But I think I aced it. I coded C for weeks and hopefully finally payed off.
Fuck coding on paper though. They are just too lazy to make something digital. But man at least let me get some compiler messages. It's not like anyone codes without compiler messages anymore. -
It was about my 30th progress meeting with the clients on a website I was working on for them. At that point, I knew what was gonna happen. Change bloody requests.
Before attending that meeting I thought, "I'll change them on the fly as they comment for more ridiculous changes" as I drank 4 cans of RedBull. At the meeting I was having my 5th and the clients was firing all sorts of changes and complaints in the air and I whack them all with my lightning fast fingers can go.
I didn't know I could go that fast, like I was flying. Clients were impressed. Boss was worried that I don't look so... Normal. In fact, I jitter every mid sentence.
Told him to tell them to email changes/complaints instead of bringing it to this meeting. A complete waste of my Red Bulls.2 -
That's it. I've had enough.
I lost my job yesterday (again) and the Irish cumstain who lives in the room next to me got pissed last night and kicked my door in because he thought I had his phone(?) and was ignoring him, when I was at work.
Long story short, he ripped my friends back door apart, tried to fight me (which ended with me chasing him down the street with a plank).
Police came and did a wonderful job as always by making us shake hands and 'promise' to leave each other alone.
THIS ISN'T FUCKING PRIMARY SCHOOL. DRAG HIM AWAY BEFORE I DO, YOU IGNORANT FUCKING PIGS.
Oh, and my 'friend' then had a schizophrenic episode and blamed it all on me(?!?). I then went to buy 2 bottles of vodka and decided to get pissed before trying to kill myself.
Ah, I love humans. Dirty, ignorant, blood sucking bags of sweaty meat and delicate bone. I really want to turn this Irish cunt into a skinsack of blood and guts, but I'm waiting patiently. He's going to wake up one night tied up and gagged, with me dragging him to a forest somewhere far far away...
Is it weird that I want to make him scream, cry, and shit himself at the same time?11 -
https://phoronix.com/scan.php/...
And here's the thing: Trovalds is no superhuman being or something. Gates didn't do the impossible. They all had this "uh fuck that I may correct that later" moment.
Don't strive for perfection, do stuff outta passion my dudes and dudettes.5 -
Did this happen because i spilled beer on my phone last night ?
PS : Don't ask me why I use a Windows Mobile.
I just like the interfere very much.
8 -
Most normal people will now be heading home before enjoying their weekend with alcohol and hopefully friends and family.
However I can get pissed on 2 bottles of cider. Friends are busy tonight and family is elsewhere.
So tonight will be spent on designing a side project drunk and tomorrow will be spent repeatedly saying "what the fuck" while reviewing it. Either something good or something terrible will happen. Wish me luck.8 -
We don't have to be afraid of AI becoming self-concious and eradicating entire humanity in the near future.
Example 1: Amazon ads. You buy a TV and start receiving ads for YET ANOTHER FUCKING TV. Just in case you'd need a second/third/∞ TV on the same day.
Example 2: Recruiter bot Mail. I HOPE it's a mass mail bot and not a real human being ;)
"we're looking for PHP developers"
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE experience IN ('PHP')
Gives
+10 to intelligence
+5% to skynet training speed
"we're looking for Java developers"
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE experience IN ('Java')
Gives
+20 to intelligence
+10% to skynet training speed
"we're looking for frontend developers working with Angular."
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE projects IN ('frontend') AND experience IN ('Angular')
Gives
+40 to intelligence
+20% to skynet training speed
"we're looking for QA Engineers ready to relocate to Ukraine or Cyprus"
SELECT * FROM candidates WHERE experience IN ('QA') AND location NOT IN (any country with higher living standard, lower living costs and no war)
Gives
+80 to intelligence
+40% to skynet training speed
Example 3: Alexa understands me only if I'm drunk.1 -
Idea: Hiding a 3D object in an image by making a list how often every color appears and then displaying that as density information in a 256³ cube (aka using a 3D histogram to encode a 3D object)18
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Forgot I had an interview at 9am the next day so I got super drunk the night before. Let me tell you, it's very difficult to pull back from smelling like whiskey and having to down three red bulls before you go in to keep awake.
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NEVER take a shot of vodka every time Unity (on Mac) crashes...
You'll end up way beyond drunk before 12am7 -
remember when our whole dev team was drunk but we went back to work anyway? turns out, someone rm -rf a whole folder of js scripts!! it took us some time before we could find the back up files which were in the old server (that crashed) because recently we changed servers (so we were transferring files) and we are now using amazon.
our boss got so pissed this morning but oh well, it was his idea to drink and feast in the first place!7 -
Finished my on call rotation. Coworker is still on a call for 10 hours. She's not on call. I might be getting on this call. For the sake of the idiots who didn't listen and broke it worse, I really hope I don't have to take over for her. I might get fired tonight...5
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!Rant && !Believe what I am seeing 😓
Just downloaded Android studio 3 to give kotlin a go to find out their designer is soooo much better now, I tried editing an activity with constraint layout and many elements inside without a single freez 😨5 -
I wrote this code last month...
def func(is_admin, user):
is_admin = is_admin or False
user = user # so pro much wow
return is_admin ^ user4 -
!rant
I came back from a wedding party this morning, went to bad very drunk, my mind was rotating with my eyes closed, but surprisingly I was able to think about JavaScript code I am about to write for a project.6 -
Guys!!!!
Guysss!!!!
And girls....
when your stoned and drunk as me, please watch "This is Not Happening" on youtube....
I'm crying here of laughter...
OMG
The bear... Oh , To baad no more bozze8 -
Been drinking like a litre of beer yesterday after a long day of work, came home like at 2.35 AM.
Today's gonna be a long day and I only slept 6h40m and I'm still feeling drunk.
What an awesome way to start working!
Also, making an AR project in unity, doing stuff I dunno how to do11 -
#CocktailRant
TODAY: Azzurro
Made with coconut liquor, rum, blue syrup and pineapple/passion fruit juice, Azzurro is one of the few cocktails that can make you really freaking drunk while don't noticing it.
Just throw everything in a blender and mix it with some ice cubes.
Ingredients:
- Curaçao Syrup
- Malibu
- Barcadi white rum
- pineapple juice
- passion fruit juice
11 -
!rant
Sometimes I think I am (a developer) is similar to a samurai or a yakuza. Once we get into this business, we just cannot get out of it. :?
// I am starting to get drunk. It is lucky for you guys that we have 2 hours interval. I don't expect my next post to be any good.4 -
What people don't get about drinking and coding is this.
Coding and development is very similar to art. You've to be creative in your solutions. You've withdraw all emotions and concentrate. And you've to find your own creativity.
You have drunk artists all the time, why not drunk coders?11 -
!dev
i am so lucky to have a good memory. i am not the best problem solver, but i remember lots of previous solution. being a dev has really help my thought processes though.
tldr; i told my gf i'd get an ass tattoo of her choice if i got a 1500+ on the sat and now i'm nervous because after looking online i can't find a single math question i got wrong.13 -
Getting drunk texts from my employees that just remembered something to do at night on a Saturday is definitely one of the highlights of my weekend.
I don't trip, poor dudes get fucking tasked out of the ass by the entire institution, and whilst I try to shield them from bullshit as much as I can their duties entail a lot of stuff, if they forgot to do 1 task out of the fucking 100s of shit they are asked to do on a daily basis that is fine really. I am never going to shit on them for it. It happens, specially when you are understaffed and everyone has thousands of additional duties. I really try man.
But yeh, them drunk texts are funny af. Makes me think exactly what the fuck were these dudes going through that somehow something clicked and reminded them of a pending item.6 -
I'm pretty sure istockphoto is mining bitcoin! Visited that website twice and the damn VM started freezing and CPU usage went up to 70% ....2
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Just found a job listing that requires experience in deploying apps to Google Play and Apple App Store T_T8
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I was absolutely angry, my ego had been wounded. I had built the entire product from scratch, while my bosses just clinged onto one feature that i had not done.
It wasn't even going to be used i knew that and hence was slack. It also required a lot of algo writing.
Post the discussion i decided I'm gonna take out my hurt ego's anger on this algo. I drank whole night and coded. Damn fucking one of the most complex logics i had ever written. It was done and tested while the sun rose. And i slept, next day was a Sunday. I couldn't get hungover.
I was wrong, the logic was used and is one of the core logics of the product. Something that we boast of. 😁 -
Sittning on a train home drunk a f right now. Only thing I can think of is the interview I got on monday. Fml. Shouldnt rant while im drunk. God save the queeen.2
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Drinking alcohol is soo good for my social life because my autopilot is far better with people.
Somehow people can actually really get to know and like me then.
Will this ever change for normal me (22 yo) or should I just keep going out?12 -
I just created a users table and added everything except two important fields:
1. FirstName
2. LastName
I only found out when I started working on my service T_T
I'm sorry, I have sinned :(3 -
!rant but kinda.
!dev but also dev
Hello, my name is ***** and I already had a few Old Fashions🥃
I've been chasing a big career and success since i was about 12.. the first 8 years of my career I did the same.
for the last two years i decided to slow down, I'm still keeping up with stuff and do a good job but I took a break from wanting to being the next Wozniak.
Im much happier and more relaxes now but I'm at a point where i really wanna do, be and achieve more..
My #1 goal in life is to build a family, having a wife and a few kids. (first gotta be able to talk to women though:/)
i have a very strong desire to have an impact on the world and society to build a life in which at least my (non existing) family could be happy and without worries. but i've no fucking clue how to achieve that. how to have an impact. i don't see a way as a software engineer anymore..
i feel lonely and lost without any fucking perspectives..
i feel like i was better off when i was chasing the big money..
i know dev rant is not the place to do this but i can't talk to my family and i wanted to share my emotions. been alone for 3 months now and it's also about my dev career, that's how i justify to post this to our community here😅4 -
ffs.
Got to the office in the morning. Boss says, ok we want to do a toast for one thing or the other. Got a nice glass of red wine. drank it. Nice wine. got back to my computer, and started to work. the boss man calls me back. I say whats up? he says, bottle of whiskey....
drunk coding is fun!6 -
From last night:
Decrypting a LUKS volume group from a different install is a major pain in the drinking time. I can’t get this crap working no matter what I try. Ugh.6 -
So today Mozilla updated Firefox just to include an incomplete downloads tab? Dafuq are they thinking 😒2
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Go home Mac App Store, you are drunk for 6 months now, every time I want to get over this annoying update I just update and then up like what I just found when checking for updates :)(
10 -
Win10: your password has expired.
Me: ok *click*
Win10: oh btw I forgot which account has its password expired, so you have to write the account name
Me: ... Okay
Me: *resets password, then clicks next*
Win10: let me empty that form and let you redo everything without me showing you an error
Me: ....... Okay
Me: *same info*
Win10: sorry, can't find user "username"
Me: Ok you know what fuck off I'm restarting you
Win10: but I... *ded*
...
Win10: Hello Phlisg, please log in normally as usual
Me: what the fuck
---
Disclaimer: I use Linux, osx and windows ;)1 -
Is it gay to like Ed Sheerans music?
He’s one of the few new people with actual talent in my opinion.
Many people say men listening to Lana del Rey are gay so I don’t give a shit anyway.
But I’m still wondering.
How many of the guys without a life (like me) here listen to and actually enjoy listening to Ed Sheraan?
Gaaaaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananannaa gaaaaaalway Girl, nananannananananananananna
That shits is stuck in my head now..22 -
I love programming drunk! I can't sit still and always want to do stuff. When I'm drunk / tipsy I come up with ideas and start working on it. Most of the time in the morning, when my mind is clear, I'm not so creative and open minded as I'm drunk. Sometimes my ideas ain't that bad, but I loose interest in developing it any further. So I stop working on it.
This is a while == true loop -
Do you know one major thing (among others of course) that has made devrant feel like home for me after swearing off social media for a long time?
Common ground with users dealing with absolute, insane incompetency at work (I have it real bad at my job).
This doesn't so much make me angry or frustrate me as it makes me sad.
Everyone has varying levels of intelligence in infinite disciplines. Someone could make you cry because they play violin so beautifully but they can't tell you 4 + 4 because they are completely dense, but boy are they genius with that instrument.
Everyone is GREAT at something, that's capitalism's strength! Everyone can excel! I'm lucky enough to truly in my heart believe that programming, data and game development is my true calling...and I personally think I'm amazing at it.
It breaks my heart when people fall into or pursue something that clearly they just don't have enough passion for or regardless just don't have the skill for.
They become toxic to themselves, their employees/coworkers, their industry.
Sadly, power is given to people who simply aren't capable and power is bad on so many levels (aka fucking psychopaths gaining too much power) but it's also bad when people who don't know what they're doing or care get power.
People, I implore you...the secret to happiness and fulfillment in life is finding what makes you happy and what you're passionate about and good at and gripping it until you die.
Most people don't find it....but DON'T stop looking! It took me until my 30's to figure it out. My best friend in her 20's took her life because she couldn't find purpose...don't just be an asshat, incompetent manager in an industry you don't know a fuck about. Love what you do and help others excel.
This is how I get when I'm drunk, sorry. You guys will learn, lol.2 -
I am so fucking drunk but still I ended up completing a task which is a feature request.... I have no idea how I did it... But it works in staging... That's what I remember.... Will see tomorrow.... I am also the tester in the hierarchy which starts and ends with me... I don't know whether this qualifies as a rant3
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I have seen some rants about google and inconsistency.
I have seent this today about google
Calendar.
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Boy oh boy.. Reminds me of good ol college days. I was in my final sem when Amazon came to our university for campus hiring. I was very confident that I will get selected. Funnily enough I went till the final round and I had a feeling that it went well if not excellent. It was a Friday night and we had to wait two excruciating days for the final shortlisted result to come. On the evening of Monday my friend T called me and told me my name is not on the list. I was heartbroken. I asked him who all got selected and he said our friend A did. A was, and still is a good friend of ours and I was happy for him. That night we sat down for drinks and as the night progressed I anguished over my selection. I still remember solving a binary tree problem holding a glass of whiskey in my one hand. The next morning I woke up at 6, detoxed myself with fruit juices and sat in front of my laptop feeling full rage from last night. I sat till lunch and hacked a chrome extension in one sitting. Mind you I had no existing knowledge of extensions at that point of time. I sometimes look how my life has turned since that time and now I am one of the devs in a team which work on a product that itself is a browser extension. :)
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Ok this is a weird story.
So myself and two friends were working on a chrome extension several years ago, probably late high school/early college years.
So before any of us had seen the ballmer peak xkcd, I had discovered it on my own. I was telling my friend that we should start drinking because a)it's Saturday night, and b) I code better buzzed. So he decided to push the limits. He poured my drink super heavy, then another, then didn't finish his and insisted I did. He ended up getting me super drunk. I started going off on how they were doing it wrong, then took over the keyboard. What I wrote cannot even be considered code. I went on an incoherent rant, puked in a trash can, and then woke up in the bathroom with a towel as a pillow.
And that's the story of why my friends are convinced the ballmer peak is definitely not a thing.1 -
ok, fuck people. i mean the people who talk about things that are a big deal. you don't need to take a course in html/css to build a website, you need documentation.
people act like programming languages are a whole separate literacy. they're not. it is not a big deal, nor an accomplishment of any significance, to learn any language to a basic extent. variables, control flow, functions and scope should not be considered challenging topics, and people should stop bragging about them. i'm pretty sure this is because programming is new. as people, i think when something is new we tend to think of it as more complex and harder to understand. basic programming is not that.
ok that was a tangent from my real point. college is a scam. anyone can learn anything from books and the internet. any time you want to learn about something, go to google, and search "${my topic} site:*.github.io" and you'll have a page about that topic written by someone who is knowledgeable and passionate of the topic. colleges don't teach people how to think like these books/websites do. and i'm fucking sick of people who'd rather see a degree then a portfolio. fuck them shits bro. i can distinct my smart friends because my smart friends speak logically and enjoy becoming smarter. i would take the kid who watches aerodynamics videos on youtube and then built a plane over a kid who studied and got a five on his ap physics exam. watching then doing is better learning than watching and repeating. after all, creativity is not at all measured in our grades, and i'd like to argue that sometimes intelligence isn't even measured. i mean, people can say they're good at math, but the kids who talk about fibinnoci numbers and why there can never be two primes more than 7 (i if i remember properly) integers apart or the ones who prove cryptographic algorithms. i guess what i'm trying to say is the dumb kids aren't dumb and the smart kids aren't smart (well not that) but kids who are passionate and just do something instead of waiting for their degree to do the same thing are the best and brightest. i forgot what i was talking about. sorry it is almost 2 am and i am intoxicated , and i don't believe i got my point across very well either.9 -
I am drunk right now. Just wanted to let you guys know that I love you and that I am really proud to be part of such a nice community. I know that we Devs sometimes have a hard time due to our profession, but I am happy that we are still able to stay strong together.
And now good night. Have to work in 6 hours.5 -
Okay I lied, I'm having a bunch of bottles of Guiness now.
Finally the sweet release from the pain 😋 -
I came home about 1am and saw a bug in a small (unpaid...) project that had to do with timezones (see some earlier rants). Fixed it, got to bed.
A few days later I realized that a feature I implemented before was gone. Going through the git log I found out it was me in that night who removed it, by accident I suppose.
Not the end of the world but I was quite intrigued by my own drunk ability to remove a feature that had nothing to to with what I was doing and not even noticing it.2 -
First time having Baileys and it does not taste like 17% alcohol. But it tastes good enough to get drunk before learning for exams in the next weeks7
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When after a drunk night your code is working and yesterday's bugs are all gone.
I'm so lucky that drunken me is my coworker. (:2 -
I just realized that I might have some racist (or nationality-racist [the word nationalist is already taken]) characteristics after all.. without ever noticing.
All my life I heard a lot of „all foreigners should be kicked out, back to their own countries“ statements (Switzerland sucks)
I kept telling them that they actually include me(German) as well every time they say shit like that.
What they actually meant was mostly North African countries, Turkish, Albanians, Italians and Russians.
What I actually did all this time was saying that I deserve to be there more than other nationalities do.
So basically I argued with „but I deserve it more than them“ because of where I was born all this time.
The thing that keeps me thinking is that I honestly never noticed this.
Don’t know if that makes sense to you guys, it’s another drunk post.
I just saw a comment like that here for the first time in 2y, it actually was hurtful so I thought bout it and concluded the above..24 -
Went to PC Gamer's website. Got blocked by an anti-adblocker. Opened the DevTools to remove the fuck out of it. Found class names that may have been made by the drunkest vodka-fed polish dude the Earth ever carried.
8 -
We got drunk with the most geek friends, and now the subject is based on the pigeonhole principle, one of us drank at least one extra bottle :/
(this is the first time I've ever seen this principle being used properly 😂) -
I find it funny that the client requested a specific design, then a year later the client says: Design is messed up!4
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Sometimes when I’m drunk, I create functions in my head for things like default answers and stuff..3
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CLEARLY! ...
I'm drunk.
//motherfucking populate the mailings table yo
Route::get('fuckman', function () {
$statuses = array('queued', 'sent', 'failure');
$statusKey = rand(0,2);
$mailings=App\Models\Mailing::all();
foreach($mailings as $mailing){
$mailing->status=$statuses[$statusKey];
$mailing->save();
}
return 'fuckyou';
}); -
Thank drunk me for making a backup.
My day could have been a whole lot worse.
...not using git for this particular endeavor.1 -
It's 6pm here, running out of scotch. Writing a backend for telegram bot. Seems like I need to step out to get some scotch
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Why do you get so fucking full so damn fast when you're drunk. It's really fucking annoying.
Seagull.2 -
The problem with drinking alone is that there always comes that time where you're just drunk enough and don't feel like you can get more statisfaction from drinking more...
What do you want body, I wanna get wasted2 -
MG...
Found out that I had apple music for free for months.
Now I only have until the end of the year to get alllll the CDs I ever wanted legally.
Already spend 5gb in two days... Let's see if it's really unlimited...
After the end of the year, unsubscrive. Worst experience after installing the app, Apple wants to know everything about me, shares my Playlist without asking... (just 10 minutes arround definitions, still abusive for a premium service).
Fuck Apple abusive policies, thank you for the opportunity to rape Apple without pay.
Space oddity by David Bowie, finding so many songs I forgot I love...2 -
Deployed to production on Sat evening while drunk, surprisingly everything went smoothly. I think this was the first and last time I'll be releasing like this, lol.
Similar stupid experiences anyone?3 -
Shit, I lost the rant again. Well let's begin from the top.
This is little bit personal but I'm not keeping any of this as a secret. I'm a hyperactive thinker at nights (ADHD). I must write this down, although it's well over middle-night at this point.
I just discovered that I might be better writer whilst I'm sleepy, hungry, out of affection of the meds or all of the above.
And may I remind you that I'm not a native English speaker or writer.
* Saved to clipboard, so I won't lose this again *
I've written now 2 long rants, 8 issue reports (devRant) and a loong collab posting in this one sitting, or rather laying. It feels like I'm writing perfectly without missing a beat. I know that's not right, it's the main symptom in ADHD; My brain is actually running slower than an average, much slower. That's a reasonable explanation for the “fast” innovation.
I'm running without restrictions of a normal human, I don't "overthink" every single word and rather go with the flow. That's what spell checkers are for.
* Save *
You can probably see what's happening. It's certainly also true when writing code. I left out the normal cleaning up (except for the grammar, found 10 errors).
It's pretty much the same thing as I'd imagine being drunk or even high.
I must not be the only one.
* Writing tags... *
* Update error count *
* Recover one part from memory *10 -
Installed on my 2x 980 TI SLI the newest Nvidia Driver 384.76.
Played games on it and some Video Editing. Noticed that I have bad laggs and checked clocks.
Wow clocks were locked at half the max Output. Checked if I can do anything to increase it, nope it's locked at half the Performance.
Tried to install previous Driver, install failed. Went 2 Drivers back and installed the 382.33.
Everything worked again.
WTF are the guys at NVIDIA coding while being drunk?? How the fuck can you lock the powertarget of the GPU at half the Performance and after 4 days not releasing a hotfix? Are they testing this shit even or forcing it into production?
Currently NVIDIA has really crappy drivers and with every update it gets even worse.
And the only option you got is GPU's from NVIDIA and AMD. And Vega is not even released yet.
Hope that AMD will beat the shit out of NVIDIA...5 -
Hey guys / and girls I've been of the grid as faar as social media is concerned for quiet some time... I assume the IT-world ist still as fucked up as it was when i left?
What happend? (Other than jase creating and deleting N-numbers of Accounts)
Also ist @linuxxx still alive? I just got a certificate error accessing https://linu.xxx
I missed you, devranters... Bring me up to speed21 -
Go home Telegram you're drunk.😂
Traslate: 25 of 6. (Search results)
P.S: I still hate whatsapp, telegram for ever.
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Working on installing manjaro with i3 on an old Thinkpad T61 I got for 50 dollars. It's taking forever cause the internet speeds suck here and I've never installed anything but Ubuntu and mint so I'm hoping it goes well.
Anyone have any tips got this device?
Also slightly drunk, so that's a thing I guess.3 -
!rant
there's gotta be another drunk post of me now sores
What I love about devRant aren't only the rants but really the comments. In almost every rant the comet section is at least as funny ass the rant it self. This shows how awesome this community isch.
Don't drunk as much as me and I really do.enjoy being part of this aesome part of the interwebs.1 -
So I resigned from work 6 months ago and they counter offered with a sweet pay deal as they were totally fubar without me
That 6 month deal expired today and they are totally surprised that Im not going back to full time (so I can work on my start-up side project)
I've offered to go back part time on a more reasonable salary and they are totally pissed. Surely the writing was on the wall!!
Here is an idea. When your bus factor is 1... Hire some other people! -
Accidentally bridged the only interface with a manual IPv4 address on a production box. With only public key access, my only choice was to calculate and ssh via its IPv6 link local address address.
Thanks god it worked. -
So i was putting finishing touches on an android game i was building in Unity3D as a fun side project - implementing google play leaderboards and google ads.
Luckily google is nice enough to include 2 unity plugins for ads and leaderboards/achievements however, THE FUCKING PLUGINS AREN'T COMPATIBLE. TWO PIECES OF SOFTWARE THAT ARE LITERALLY MEANT TO WORK TOGETHER HAVE COLLIDING .JAR FILES PREVENTING ME FROM BUILDING THE APK.
i had to spend fucking days trying to figure out how to unpack the jar files and what to remove from them so they would stop colliding.
WTF GOOGLE?3 -
Don't you hate it when you hit your Ballmer Peak, start coding an app to calculate out you Ballmer Peak, then you tip over onto the right side of it and get bored.
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Colleague: hoe you like your coffee
Me: make it a Latte Macchiato
Colleague: wait what???
Me: see attached image
4 -
Well maybe its just me but I guess almost every dev out there was drinking a bit too much last night, seen that many rabts about it haha
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That moment when I suddenly notice that I've been working for two days on my repo that is hosted on Microsoft Team Services, while the active repo is hosted on Gitlab
Luckily changes where on a sub library can be managed to integrate a diff1 -
What happens when programmers are drunk like shit in an office party, and you try to leave?
"import back that muthafucka and lets build his balls" -
During interview about possible spying by Huawei President of Czech republic said few minutes ago that he will do his best to try to negotiate our stand with China, since he does not see any problem with possible spying, because its common practice of trade war between tech giants. He later added that he does not think that leaked names and addresses might be any problem "What would people do with such an info".
I mean... what difference would make if he had a lobotomy?7 -
The twelve pubs of Christmas... the one thing that anyone (fellow dev/physicist or not) should do whenever the opertunity arises... enjoy yerself... do it next year if you missed the chance this year already!
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Should I try?
Some obscure dating app would come out I guess o_o (considering I get depressive when drunk :D) -
Company shutting down has its perks : after going to the bar with colleagues, ended up doing an after party with HR in the office, drinking cherry flavoured vodka
Tomorrow morning is going to hit as hard as a fucking truck, poor me being the rabbit caught in the lights in the middle of the road.. -
A beautiful Friday night on an island with plenty of drinks and katsu!
Life is great sometimes! Don't code too hard guys. Have a drink!3 -
I don't know why do we need to entertain our clients for each and every thing. I mean I'm handling every fucking exception out there I have like 10 flags handling individual stuff. and if I raise this to my boss he will just say. if they are paying then we are doing it. I mean come on!
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GDB&Code::Blocks got drunk together and this is apparently normal now. For like an hour already.
I DIDN'T RUN ANY FUCKING CODE IN BETWEEN THESE COMMANDS WTF IS THE DEBUGGER DOING ????
3
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