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I did a simple bar graph to show the status of a db migration. Each bar is a computer with a db file. As I was bored waiting, I added a King Kong hanging from the longest bar.
8 -
I see people posting setups so I will share mine. three 27" Asus monitors. left for viewing site, mid for code, right for db :)
13 -
*Client phones me at 11pm*
Client: It's not working!!
Me:What's the error you're getting?
Client: "Database connection error"
*Phones system/dB admin*
DB Admin: Yeah we had to change the SQL logins, I've sent you the new ones
*Phones junior dev in charge of dB programming*
Junior Dev: Yeah you'll just have to go and change the credentials. They're in all the places where we're using the dB, just before the statement, in the connection strings...
We make over 470 calls to the DB 😑16 -
Devs: We need access to PROD DB in order to provide support you're asking us for.
Mgmt: No, we cannot trust you with PROD DB accesses. That DB contains live data and is too sensitive for you to fuck things up
Mgmt: We'll only grant PROD DB access to DBAs and app support guys
Mgmt: <hire newbies to app support>
App_supp: `update USER set invoice_directory = 54376; commit;`
----------------
I have nothing left to say....7 -
*all kinda db shizzle at work but finally done and going home. Can't see anything related to databases for the next few hours*
*gets in car and closes eyes for 5 minutes* (I'm not the driver)
*opens eyes only to look right into the center of a license plate: xx-DB-xx*
😑
I think the universe hates me or something.2 -
You know you've had to deal with a tough database problem at work when you start seeing SQL in your own kitchen... (It says SOL meaning salt)
P.s. I sure hope this is how these memes work, because I want my avatar
15 -
Years ago we deployed this system with a SQL DB on a separate windows server.
Every now and then we had error messages saying that the system could not connect to the db. It was going on for about 5 minutes or so and then the db was up again.
We built a bunch of fallback logic to handle it gracefully.
Then one day one of the guys was in the "server room". It was not a real server room but like a dedicated office in another building.
He saw how the cleaning lady came in, unplugged the server's cable from the wall socket and plugged in the vacuum cleaner...6 -
Discovered one of the worst db designs ever:
- A cust is inserted in a table.
- The insert trigger is fired, calling a stored proc
- The stored proc being called creates a dynamic sql that builds a create table statement for 8 different tables. These tables will be postfixed with the newly-created cust id and is executed.
When querying info for a cust, a stored proc is used that accepts an id value would be appended to another dynamic sql that creates a select statement across all 8 tables for one customer.
Shoot me now.10 -
Me: *Demoed my search API which supports multiple database implementations at the backend*
My Manager: Great!! Is the API independent of DB? Can you plug this API to any DB?
Me: Yes
My Manager: How can user specific DB at runtime?
Me: Why will user be interested in the DB used at the backend? He will just query the API for data.
My Manager: Let's just assume he wants to select a database at runtime.
Me: While searching a movie on Netflix, do you specific from which DB you wanna stream the movie?
My Manager: *Confused and pissed*7 -
We have this weird db naming convention requirement by the client all table names should be of 4 letters. And guess what somebody thought of naming a table 'ANUS'6
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Guys, when you have to manually edit records in the prod DB, please at least make sure that your overweight cat isn't rolling around on the keyboard...8
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I was asleep and woke up and just had the thought: fuck Oracle and fuck Oracle DB. Going back to bed now 😴😴😴4
-
that moment when you realise the ID column in the DB has no auto increment on it after sending a 900k lines query... FML3
-
OS : Tail OS ✓
pass : 16+ ✓
Update password : every 15 days ✓
Mac address : spoofing ✓
Then you realise
Your Aadhar information is in gov DB.
13 -
Just got a lection from my manager.
Today he sent me an email with request to change validation on one field validation from decimal(5,3) to int which will be 5 digit number. Ok i did that, I changed it on UI, changed validation, changed mappings, changed dtos, created migration files, and changed it in databse. After i did all of that I replied to his email and said that ive changed validation and adjusted it in database.
After my email here comes rage mail from manager with every fuckin important person in cc I kid you not. Manager is asking why the fuck did I change database when Ive could only use different validaton for that field on UI.
I Almost flipped fuckin table. What does validation good do if you wouldnt be able ti save that form? And form has like 150 fields. And if I left validation only everthing would fuckin break.
Sometimes i think that its better not to think.
FML
7 -
So, a friend of mine started working on an internship in which he was supossed to manage a DB. He was given an Excel file. 🙈Wtf3
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Five years learning how to build normalized information schemas to end up designing denormalized DBs.1
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I HATE TESTING DB MIGRATIONS! SHIT TAKES BLOODY FOREVER!
This one takes 20 freaking minutes each attempt, and I need to run it. yet again.
$@%&!10 -
Forgot to secure my mongo db instance, found half the data gone, and a new db holding me at ransom , learn_how_to_recover_your_data , good thing offline backups are a thing.
Recovered in no time, never will I ever repeat this mistake3 -
20 minutes trying to convince my boss (lead dev) that dynamically create tables on DB based on file name to store uploaded json content isn't a good design approach and he is still convinced that 500 lines will really impact performance that much on one table and that this is the best design...
Based on this approach, he wants to create another table with the user who last modified and the "fk" (not sure if he even knows what this is cause none of the fks here point to anything...) would be the table name... now I know where those hideous tables we have here come from...
Don't know if I laugh or cry...3 -
My Task: Create a new application in a custom C#-Framework, to replace screens from the old application.
Me:Fine.
The old application has a Java Frontend.
Me:Fine.
The old application has an Oracle-DB.
Me:Fine.
The old application has its logic fully on the DB.
Me:What ??
You cannot connect to the DB via ODBC.
Me:But why ???
You cannot use external libraries, just our framework.
Me: For what are you thinking i can use to call the functions on the DB
You have to use a custom connection-bus which uses JDBC
Me:Fine.
This connection-bus cannot call SQL Statements and return the result.
Me:WTF, how should i get the data out of the Database ?
We don't know find a way.
Me:Ahh fuck off.3 -
Fuck this
I get to work with API where you CAN authenticate with username/password and get a token
But you CAN'T get user info from token (auth response contains ONLY token)
So what I have to do:
1. Get token
2. Request ALL FUCKING USERS and load them into my DB
3. Search through local DB by username and, yeah, here I go
Now I need to have a cron job to update user DB 1/2 times per day
I can't think of ANY reason not to allow this8 -
Spent a month working on a website that relied on crawled data
Got the memory leaks and usage down from 700mb to ~150mb
CPU usage from ~100% to <5%
Shrink-wrapped the DB requirements based on data
Created self-supporting services and what not
When everything FINALLY worked good enough for me to look at it and go "damn, this actually worked"
the whole monitoring sys got dyed in red :v
A quick look up and my crawlers exhausted my godaddy's per-user db limits.
Kill me.
Just fuckin kill me.7 -
Spent the entire day looking into a bug. The problem was a space in the email address, that was stored in the DB. FML10
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Confession: sometimes when im too lazy to look at the db schema, i just select *, and filter the stuff i need from the ResultSet.6
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I'm so fucking sick of the lack of great modern open source DB tooling.
MySQL Workbench can go suck a big fat herpes-ridden cock, it's horrible.
Dbeaver is a clunky 90's tool, which charges two Netflixes (yes, that is a valid $/month monetary unit) just to connect to a NoSQL DB.
Datagrip is nice, but has the same outrageously expensive pricing. I paid for it, and couldn't use it for my local docker DB during my holiday because it couldn't connect to the license server. Fuck you, Jetbrains. Your software is nice, but your DRM makes me hate you.
And then ERD software... It's either some hard-to-use afterthought piece of crap bundled with the DB IDE, some generic diagramming tool which makes DB-specific work needlessly unergonomic, or some vendor-locked online tool.
Fuck this shit, I'm making my own DB admin tool. With blackjack. And hookers. 😡12 -
No. Just no. The null pointer exception didn't come from my DB, it came from your Java code, so go away and fix it.2
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Really now?
AWS, #1 cloud provider with their #1 cloud database DynamoDB, all shiny, highly dynamic NoSQL, your data schema could change any second...
then DynamoDB errors out when one of your values is an empty string? {"foo":""} is impossible to store?
Like nobody ever saw or used empty strings a a value or what? There are tons of upvotes to fix this.
I just have to imagine the Product owner standing there: "No,no,no. They are just using it wrong if their data has empty strings as value. Won't fix!"4 -
Trying to discover why the DB listener wasn't being called in my app for like 30min. Many log messages, no exceptions or errors, DB rules revised, DB content revised, changed constructors, simplified code and nothing worked... problem: the phone's wifi was disconnected.2
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HOLY FUCK (!dev) SOMEONE KILL THE MANAGEMENT OF DEUTSCHE BAHN ALREADY
Seriously where can I complain? delays on every single train i was on since weeks. and always because of some stupid shit like "we need to let another train pass by". wtf you didnt know that earlier?15 -
So devrant is going down for scheduled db maintenance... Guess they want to make a backup so they don't pull a "GitLab"
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Storing DB credentials in a repo that were encrypted using functions... that are in the same repo (both encrypt and decrypt!)...2
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Well it finally happened… I deleted the production DB 🤦🏼♂️
Rollback successful but lost over 3 hours of production data8 -
Aaaaand my team leader once again worked directly on the DB without touching the code, so I can't reproduce his local DB on my machine.
JUST WHY
4 -
> Laravel lets you create migrations to manage the state of the DB
> your colleague doesn't give a flying fuck, just raw SQL on the db to perform every change
> performed initial insertions without seeders, can't reproduce his db on my local environment
> can't even run migrations anymore 'cause it would break everything
7 -
Is there automation tool for postgres or mysql to fire a query? I got a db that will reset the row column value after 1 month of the created date
Edit: I know this is not SO
Not clearing the rows, just resetting the value of some rows if the criteria is met12 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
Gahhhh!
Just inherited a HR backend written in Laravel. However, ALL database interaction is done using DB::raw() i.e.
$results = DB::select( DB::raw("SELECT * FROM tbl WHERE col = '$fromThe QueryStringLOl'") );
No models at all :(
FML.3 -
I was cleaning up dangling images in docker, and I accidentally removed the production database container as well.
Its not a big issue, I can just up the container back and everything should be fine. But after I up the container and connected to the database, I found out there's no data inside. I thought I fucked up, and sent msg in slack channel that I nuked the db.
Later my friend asked me which compose file I am using and that's when I realized I used the wrong config to up the db. Used the correct config to up the database again and everything goes back to normal.
It's friday evening and if I really dropped the db it would be fucking bad weekend....3 -
DevSup channel:
Someone: FYI, Db is down(ticket link)
Otherone: Can anyone help me connecting
with db? I am having issues.
I am so happy I am leaving this place in 2 months.... 😂😂1 -
In my work we have this big client who is really concerned about security.
We can't even access the DB from our machine, so they gave us some shitty, heavy as hell, laptops. It's ok, i don't like the ideia but ok.
But in this laptop have a super fucked up windows 7 that have almost everything blocked, we can't even install the fucking sdk(java) to work without asking the company's "IT guy".
On top of that, to access the DB from outside this client we need a VPN, it's ok, I understand, but the fucking VPN drop connection every 5 fucking minutes.
Yesterday I spent fucking 6 hours to run 2 ten minutes queries that we needed to make a report for this fuckers.
I sit in front of a big window, I really felt the will to throw their laptop right through it.3 -
Committed production DB info in a config file to a public Github repo 5 hours ago. Just realised it now. Woops.5
-
the web developer equivalent of waiting for code to compile is waiting for your local test DB to be populated with recent data from the production DB2
-
Me chatting with a bandmate who is also a developer:
Me: do you have any experience in Db?
Him: Dropbox? Databases?
Me: Sorry enharmonic confusion. I meant C#
P.S. yes, sometimes I find my comments so funny that I make new joke posts about them.2 -
Reverse engineering an applications internal object model and creating an database model for it...
The reason: Several versions of application exist, each deliver flat data by rest. The data is a complete potpourri of several different entities. *yaaaay*
Eg. an example fictional call (real call and data would get me in trouble I think....)
get_fiscal_report returning the fiscal data for _several_ companies, the companies _subsidiaries_ and the respective _segments_ for a _year_ with a key value enumeration.
So it's an happy fuck up of N:N associative data that usually would be a hierarchical relationship...
Year - Company
Each Company has subsidiaries
Each Company subsidiary has segments
Each segment has a fixed enumeration of keys
Each key has then the monetary value (e.g. 'operating_income' - 155_000 US-$)
Example is made up, but my data contains exactly such a lovely nested hierarchical data flattened and misnamed to a point where it's close to garbage.
Yaaaay.
I had now 6 days of untucking this mess to a usable database representation...
Sprinkling Unique Keys everywhere...
Running persist script...
Getting exceptions...
Changing associations...
Running persist script...
Screaming.
Changing associations...
Violently cursing.
Running persist script.
Starting sacrificing interns...
6 days.
I need a new brain and a format of my soul.
-.-
Reverse engineering proprietary software is really an morbid adventure.1 -
when I first saw this trixk to speed up the db:
1. stop mysql
2. cat dbfile > /dev/null
3. start mysql....
and it works...14 -
Accidentally using a MySQL update and not specifying the where....yeah needless to say every single dB record got updated to trash data and the DB wasn't backed up....I was a brand new developer so....4
-
dBs, many db architectures everywhere. Yet still none can satisfy me until I pay a lot. We should all call them HookerDB
-
I've seen JavaScript client-side app that was connecting directly to DB using hardcoded (obfuscated, lol) DB password xD
And yes, there was no DB setting that this user is read-only and only from few tables. It was like GRANT * ON *. -
Changed the Ora DB instance type to one having 2x fewer CPUs. That alone increased the db perf ~4x+5
-
Export data from a database that you've not modeled is a problem (sometimes), I just realized that this DB has two tables to storage cities, the main difference is the id, the other fields are the same in both tables, I hate that kind of people....
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Setupwars. Show off your epic coding zone setup.
Your biggest oh fuck moment as developer. "I dropped the prod DB"1 -
Worst prod scenario experienced - on site in small African country working on CRM/billing system my colleague was testing some new SQL and after finishing decided to drop and recreate the DB. She thinks the process is very slow and suddenly realizes she is dropping the prod DB. In a panic she shuts down the system and starts doing a restore from tape, but is so stressed out she writes "tar cv" instead of "tar xv" and overwrites the backup with the broken DB. Took a while to clean that one up...2
-
Please tell me why my boss thinks instead of just implimenting a language picker, it's a good idea to:
1) store the browser's language option in the DB only for new users, but only the first time they log in, never again.
2) never give existing users the ability to change language, and just default them to English.
3) deal with all upcoming language change tickets by having devs manually do DB updates ON THE LIVE PROD DB.
I'm screaming.2 -
When you realise a so-called app developer has used nvarchar columns to store every single date record, in every DB table of your platform.
Using d/m/Y format.
Without leading zeros.
And, in just a few tables, m/d/Y.
*sigh*2 -
SQLite DB + Google Drive == Love
Just ran my app installers (in projects folders that i copied) and set the DB file on startup.
Could end up with a merge conflict if the app is running on both PCs at the same time though... hm....
2 -
So this web company i joined had a page load time in minutes. The free text search (inverted index search, based on elasticsearch) queries would return results in 10-45 seconds (should be milliseconds always). The indexes had no schema. And they would crawl data and feed into mssql db, which had a 2 gb/db limit on the free version. So everytime the db hit the limit, a new db was created and the name was incremented by one.
Had a very tough time cleaning up that mess. Plus the architect who had made this architecture was on his way out and unhelpful to the core.
What was worse was that most of the changes i did were very simple changes that should have been done long back. Basic sanity changes.4 -
A client hired someone to work on a new feature while we were working on something else. The new guy makes huge commits that we don't have the time to read, really.
I merged and deployed my work only to find that the whole database was wiped. Apparently, the new guy pushed some code that reset the database.
I Spent the rest of the day looking through backups trying to restore the database.2 -
So, I feel a sleep at my desk for about 15 minutes. Only to awaken with drool down my shirt. I then proceeded, while half sleep, to delete 58 rows from the DB...O.o
Hahahahaha good thing it was only on my machine. -
I started working my new job as a programmer(c#, java, etc.) in a very good programming company.
My first task was to optimise their DB. The DB has indexes and around 3mil rows. The db is slowwww as fuck.
So i made a windows service that reorganises indexes (Depending on blank pages and fragmentation of the index) in DB each week on time.
But as soon as new rows start to come in, the fragmentation of the indexes just sky rocket.
I tried with changing idexes so there will accually be onli indexes we need.
Can anyone help me how can i fix fragmentation problem so the select querries will be much faster.
Sorry if I don't know the solution, I'm new at this task.
Thank you!7 -
I've been programming a simple DB engine all day. As my commit describes, i cant tell how it went...
-
Create DB connection file in every other place and writing password in all those connection files. 😒👿
Then using grep and sed like a pro to change passwords in one go. 🤷
Scratching their heads as to why the script says DB connection error.... After an hour or so; finding out that the password contains '@' sign it was under double quotes. 🤦 -
We've got a big legacy app which we have to rewrite. The current client applications are only working on XP(!). We have to move the clients to the browser so we can finally get rid of all XP vm-s. The db schema is complex but still 1000+ stored procedures and functions and about a hundred tables with 13 years of data.
So I ask the guy responsible for maintaining the DB code. (he is ~25 years older than me)
me - Where is the source of the database. Which project?
he - Where would it be? It's in the db.
me - So we've got a huge db without VCS, upgrade/downgrade scripts, etc?
he - Yes. I don't get why young developers always want to use shiny new tech like git just because it is cool. It has nothing that an external usb backup drive can't do.
me - VCS has been around since the early 1980's...
he - If you really want, you can put it under git or whatever, so you can sleep better, but I still think it is stupid and a waste of time.
I get that it's hard to keep up, but getting personal... -
Ask to get DB back ups done, contact DB team => cant log in => have 2 contact wintel team => they believe a reboot will sort it => contact customer => permission to bounce given => contact team to bounce => shifted back onto DB team => bd team open lync conversation about bouncing => no reply to mails if all is well in the world => sit at desk cant start dev cuz know will be sucked into aroganizing this brewery piss up with a bunch of bums....... cue putting on headphones and blasting some music at 11 ,,,,,,,,,,,, been waiting to deploy for 4 hours !!! FML2
-
At age of 14 me and my friend started writing browser based game.. It was written using php(no DB, as .txt files where our DB) after that I started writing silly little web applications. I have never learned it in uni or any other place...2
-
There is a parody of "Cheap Thrill's" by Mongo DB.
Yes Mongo DB ,it was for thier product promotion(Mongo DB Atlas)!
BTW it's one of the best DB I have ever used, it binds well with NodeJs
Here is it:
I know its way old ,but just want to share
https://youtu.be/0vPt7GI-2kc -
Arrg, need to also make a database for an application, because client doesn't want to give access to their own db. fookin Brian3
-
This company have a group of three DB in their product. One DB consist of 130 tables, and they DO NOT HAVE ERD.
Better start one.....while I'm bored and do no have task yet.
~pokerface :|1 -
Dev DB just auto shutdown in the middle of a restore.
From an online backup.
With NORECOVERY.
Shit.1 -
Can someone get an excerpt from the SO user db and diff it against the DevRant user db and compile a do-not-hire list of the ones that are only on SO?
And yes, I was recently triggered by a SO elitist.
This also assumes all the nice SO members are members of DevRant, which I think is fairly accurate.2 -
Fucking remote db doesn't want to work with me and workbench. DB is on an empty test server, no firewall issues on the network, powershell on my pc says ping ok, tcp failing though, server firewall not running, server up and running.
Tried to modify network access on db configs like bind-adress, set my db user "host" value to wildcard. Now I can log in on workbench with my user, yet root somehow fails, wtf?
And of course once the connection is live, no db us visible, accessible, nothing works. I'm so frustrated. About to nuke it and restart ... again!13 -
Occasionally, some guys send badly written SQL to the database and drained most of the resources, then complain the db and apps using the db are not working.
-
The other day I fucked up. I coded a safety measure that saves a file on crash, to keep data safe.
I added two lines of code before loading the file, and they crashed. There goes all my data.
(At least got to fix that bug) -
You had that moment when you agree with someone and given a ++ because it takes less space in DB than comment?
-
Main branch running locally - fine
Main branch locally connected to QA dB - fine
Main branch on QA server with QA dB - NOPE
OK - build main locally, push to QA server - fine
WTF.jpg
Main build by build server, push to QA - nope
Rebuild QA vm and dB - build main, push to QA - nope
Turn on full server logging - PASS.
MAXIMUM WHAT -
I'm currently working on a new (for me) legacy database that store percentile numbers in a varchar column . Seriously who the fuck had the that brilliant idea!!!4
-
name your db nodes after GoT characters, to remind yourself you shouldn't give a shit when they die.
-
Why shouldn't I clone production DB locally in order to debug an issue / recreate a bug? What is the alternative?5
-
DB team: We will have someone reach out to you and set up a call for your database support request.
Me: *this will suck...some dude with a super strong accent, audio that sounds like crap on a 56k modem, and horns beeping in the background*
DB team: The support engineer is actually from your same area.
Me: Nice! *maybe an American*
DB engineer: "uh yes ello dish is ramajadeshava and I will be supporting each and every request"
Me: *fuck...but at least there's no horns in the background*1 -
any thought about the best way to start a solo project? I think going for the db schema first is easier, curious to see your opinion 😁5
-
If you make a db query and it goes surprisingly fast, that means it somehow fucked up your db. A database _never_ works faster than when it fucks itself up. Normal queries are always slow, but wrong queries are oh so quick.1
-
Wow.... it seems Entity Framework with Code First/Annotations is FAAASSSTTTT vs using Fluent API. I don't mean writing the actual code but the DB file opens very quickly unlike my last attempt years ago...
Or whoever wrote this library is really good... https://github.com/msallin/...
Solves the whole headache of creating the initial SQLite DB... -
Holy fucking shit! Almost 5 hours I was trying to make Docker container with PHP 5.4 to work, because I couldnt fucking connect to my fucking localhost DB. After 5 fucking hours of desperation I tried to create DB on my hosting and... IT FUCKING WORKS LIKE CHARM. IF I KNEW SOONER!!!
-
So this is the scenario:
A Database Error Occurred: You must use the “set” method to update an entry
This is the code:
$this->db->where('id', $id);
return $this->db->update('contractors', ((array) $contractor));
And it gives me the error A Database Error Occurred: You must use the "set" method to update an entry.8 -
An actual function definition spotted in a plugin to migrate a membership DB from a spreadsheet into Wordpress:
private function insert_member() { ... }1 -
Microsoft Dynamics NAVision DB Backend - 22000+ Columns of pure cancer. 7 booleans for determining what day it is... fuck off...
4 -
Other dev in group chat: we need to stop syncing so much data from prod to uat because it's crashing the uat db...
Me thinking: no really... U just realized it's not a good idea to dump most of the prod db into uat every week?
¯\_(ツ)_/¯4 -
Today is very special day. Our whole PHP app has connection problems with DB. After 6 hours of desperation still nothing...6
-
protected $db;
$this->db = new PDO($tooLazy, $toDeclare, $everything);
public function getCoffee() {
$getCoffee = $this->db->prepare('SELECT * FROM Coffee');
$getCoffee->execute();
$result = $getCoffee->fetchAll();
return $result;
} -
So we finished our requirement ( barely) for a new client. Next is data modelling and system design.
We started with data modelling. Unfortunately the lead developer does not know the difference between database and data modelling.
me: hey bro, we'll do the database and stuff later, now let's focus on data modelling.
him: (acting like he knows) yeah I have developed a sample design for the "data model".
me: no this is database design.
him: what's the difference?
me: dude, they're totally different. Okay, simple explanation data model is what you want to store, whereas DB design is how you store it.
him: So, if I am not wrong, it's implied that you know what to store if you are talking about how to store it.
me: but you don't know what it is you want to store yet. And one of them precedes the other.
him: Okay, let's start with DB design.
me: What?????? you want to build a house without a plan??? That's it for me I am done !!!
I left the project yesterday, later I heard that, the team members are coders, who think that developing a software is all about coding and fixing errors. -
One of the DB guys at work writes DB packages like this:
- open package in PL/SQL developer
- copy code to notepad
- edit PL/SQL code in notepad (yes, fucking windows notepad)
- copy and paste back from notepad to PL/SQL developer
- commit
Everytime I see him edit DB packages I can feel my brain mass shrinking.5 -
Come on, WordPress! Why are you such an asshole? I just want to migrate and move on with my life.
Is it because I started with Joomla? Is it because I cheated you with Flask?
Can you please, please be nice to the same db you made? Am I asking to much for?1 -
I hope my boss learned his lesson: dd if=/dev/zero of=[hdd storing DB about VM cluster]
- is a very very bad idea...10 -
I just ordered ticket on the DB website.
They took my money. Didn't give my train tickets.
This is why I hate germans. Scammerz24 -
Sure, clear the DB every day... Makes testing so much easier zomgs!
Its a database not a dailybase 😂🤔 -
Anyone elses file names sound more and more frustrating as a client continues to request tiny changes? Like it goes from
Db-image.png to
Fuckityfuckfuck.png4 -
Some noob in some part of the world responsible for migrating a DB used by an application I developed forgot to migrate permissions apparently and now I can't access the db and he's sleeping while I get a million mails from clients😑😑😑
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Today I have practically learned the concept of geometric progression. A db table of 5 Gb now it's 500 Mb.3
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Saturday morning 9:30. Alright, let's crack this case. Automated PG backups of DB in a docker swarm attempt 5.
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Do you have a db specialist in teams? I often see frontend & backend ranting but no db Devs. Isn't that role so crucial as one lost index can cause massive performance drops?5
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double-clicking bugs in web application.
They keep happening and generate double actions.
Instead of fixing the bugs, I created a script that check periodically for double actions and delete them from db.
I also gave db access to first level support and the query to delete double actions.
So I can be free on weekends and avoid the stress of fighting for resources -
Spent 4 hours working with a buddy before realizing our failing code stemmed back to using sqlite3 Npm package, which is asynchronous. Switched to better-sqlite3, a synchronous sqlite package, and alls good.
What's the purpose of an async DB anyway? Seemed like it made storing and retrieving data a huge hassle. -
Worked until now on my private mac and used pymssql and freetds to connect and work with a MSSQL DB and Python
Two days ago I switched to an Ubuntu Machine and I couldn't get it to work.
As it turns out Ubuntu was not able to solve the DNS Name into an IP Address.
FML - 2 days wasted2 -
List of things one of my Python projects needs:
- cross-platform IMA/VFD/VHD/VHDX/qcow/VMDK/IMG/DSK/others image read/extract support that doesn't need admin/root privs (so no, can't use dd or mount)
- custom DB format (for speedups when indexing files and retrieving info based on hash) and converter from previous DB format
- GUI or actually good CLI
- massive speedups
kill me now4 -
In MSSQL, can SELECT JOIN (SELECT ...) queries actually end up using disk space rather just RAM?
I ran one of those last week and now am wondering if that's the root cause of a huge DB file with a lot of unallocated space.
Seems it may just use an existing DB file and expand it (without cleaning it up afterwards) but not sure...
Any ideas on how so this works and well show to make it so disk space used for queries get cleaned up properly or easier to just shrink or remove without touching the DB file there's actually used for persistence?8 -
What Database client do you use? I'm currently using Sequel Pro. Right now I'm comparing TablePlus and DataGrip.
DataGrip - not user friendly and complicated to use but powerful
TablePlus5 -
My fellow developer was given a responsibility of writing unit test cases.
And instead of mocking the db calls he ended up making actual calls to db and adding realtime data to firestore everytime a test runs. Also he used mocha for the same. When i told him that we need to mock the db calls he said he will use sinon.js for the same and for code coverage his plans were to use istanbul.
I was like FUCKKKKKKK. , why the fk you aren't using jest. I mean whyyyyyyyy. WHAT THE FK4 -
Recently we noticed a part of our web application wasn't working. After some hours of looking into it (it's an old, convoluted application), it became clear another part of the application timed out trying to get a connection from the db connection pool.
We call db admins, they respond "oh yeah looks like the DB CPUs are at 100% load. I'll do something about it." and a short while later everything was working. So now I think, our hours of looking into it and a lot of people not being able to work could have been avoided if the DB admins had some form of alerting. But also we could improve our monitoring too, had we tracked calls made to our DB.
Question: Do you think I should call the DB guys, telling them they need alerting, or should I add tracing/monitoring around our DB calls, or both? Do you think I should consider any additional actions I haven't thought of?4 -
So what is the best free Mongo DB client for Mac? What are you using aside from the command line?
I prefer good ui and features. Thanks! 👍5 -
Microservices in real life:
You have 4 different project opened in IDE simultaneously editing all of them to make something to work.
All projects share same db.
Basically this is monolith but splitter to different git repos.
Communicating one another via http calls or directly altering shared db tables.
Everyone is happy until solution goes to production then :
Solution doesn't scale because db is a bottleneck.
Services can be unavailable for 1-2s so some processes are left in unfinished state forever, because everyone assume 99,9% SLA means it always available and http calls will never fail.
Http calls take time.2 -
Try inserting today's date in access db using sql ( 01/03/2017 in dd/MM/yyyy format). Open db and check what has inserted instead.1
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deploying the apps in production...
Devs: i'm confident enough that i can do this. Docker? wtf, i know how to do it.
after successfully deploy in production, 30 minutes later...
Devs: Hey, team lead. I can't access the DB, why?
Team Lead: what? why? what did you do?
Devs: I just successfully deploy in production using the tutum interface deploy button.
Team Lead: Did you uncheck to deploy the DB again?
Devs: Thinking.... hmmmmm No?
Team Lead: Opppsss, that's good. We can't eat our lunch until we fix it. We need to deploy the db back-up again.
Devs: Did I delete the db?
Team Lead: No? probably not you? LOL's
Devs: But who?
Team Lead: It's tutum but it's your mistake to unchecked to redeploy the db before you deploy the apps :D
DevOps / Software Engineer => IT -
Wanted to try a new alerting based on a new Prometheus metric we added. To trigger an alert we killed the dev stage db of the service. Alert didn't get triggered. The reason was that the metrics endpoint suddenly needs exactly 60s for a response if the db is killed and prometheus timeout is 20s.
And to top it off, this behavior happens for each service we developed (that has a db) .
Well at least the new alerting already helped find a bug.2 -
Been told ill be worming with Oracle DB'S today, as someone who's never touched on Oracle stuff before. Any advice?4
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Staring at a dozen cognito errors, spending two days sifting through AWS, only to find that the test DB is fucking empty...1
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My one of my favorite open source project was Re-think DB!
It was highly light weight real-time DB.
One fine day, I read a blog by the CEO / founder, telling we are under loss since there is no financial support! and we are closing it, by just keeping the website and docs of prev version alive!
I was heartbroken , for days!
This takes the top place for favourite oss project
Btw
It has high no. of stars in github than Mongo db, reddis, etc..2 -
Writing a test helper that handles all the fuckery with DB connections and transactions when the legacy under test uses multiple DB connections is so 👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌👌
I can write tests for code that was untestable before 💦💦💦
*nerd-gasms*2 -
Today I found this while filling my examination form, I think somebody gone crealess while handling production db........
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When the DBA restores the live db to staging and all your connections fail on passwords. Every fucking day!1
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Opinions
Hello, I’m considering building a web framework.
My ideal features would be:
Customizable authentication system(considering using a jwt lib)
Embedded DB(bolt db)
ORM( writing my own)
REST api to DB (via code generator)
Code generator(generation of models and views via cli)
GUI to db(some admin dashboard)
CORS(web service right?)
Why?
Ease of development
Fast prototyping of small-medium web services.
Fun.
My question is, do i have to many things on my platter? Should i narrow it down into less featured framework? What feature should I focus on? How should i benchmark it? Should i write tests for absolutely everything or just for exported methods? What should i take into consideration when developing ORM API, Auth API...
The language is Go
Thank you for your input10 -
Recently I had a task from my university to build some DB with forms using MS Access.
Despite of me constantly thinking that I wold accomplish this using Python+SQLite+Some GUI much faster, I've completed.
And I've got only one question left: why the hell proprietary product with giant company behind has such a terrible UX?
It' really painful to use. -
So I’m pretty sure I’m wrong here but I wanna rant anyways:
Had a US to pick up a date or time based on a zone and use that in the db in all locations, US had four functions written and told that only these need updating and DB itself will have no updates. Update four functions and made PR. Tech person who filled in US saw PR and approved, I merged and gave to QA. QA asked why some things aren’t being updated and I said oh those are meant to be updated too and I said ok. Get a defect. Checked that there is way more functions to update than needed, and tried so that no dB update happens in US. Made PR, reviewed and pushed. Still something is still not updating (this time purely mb I guess) another defect. I make PR again and dude asks why I don’t change it in this way which requires a DB change. Resist the urge to tell him he specified in his US no dB change. Did the thing and now it’s still in process. Product owner is pissed with amount of defects from me. -
Hey guys, I have a question.
If you ever had to deal with parity (Ethereum node software) and ever ran archive node, you perfectly know how long this bastard synchronizes. For our server it took almost month. Well, today or yesterday parity decided to spontaniously blow up (or crash) corruptiong database manifest file which greatly undercut us.
Anyone knows any viable way to rebuild manifest file withoud doing full sync from a scratfch?
If anyone has any suggestions other than what 95% of internet say "well, delete your database and sync from scratch" Im happy to test if it will solve our burning burning issue.
I am sure there is some way to rebuild database, especially where it's manifest file that's corrupt (Ive checked it, for wtf reason parity decided to truncate the file when it crashed).
Database backend is written in rust, and is called rocks db.
EDIT: if helps, its archive fat database (fat db means it should be easier to recover?)4 -
okay so I'm working on a personal project
a medical and healthcare system
thinking maybe I can kick start a start-up based on this thing...
so been 3 days now trying to find a platform to deploy this thing for free of course just for presentation and demonstration.... and its been a pain
Finally settled for pythonanywhere.com managed to deploy but the deployment can easily drive you crazy if you dont know what you are doing which i had no idea what i was doing (lol) but its an easy think if your project is up on github found that out when i was researching how to deploy
was excited coz pythonanywhere offers a free MySQL server if your application needs a db on the backend
set that up and guess what what...... it doest even connect (lol)
was getting frustrated now and jumped on the search engine and searched for free mysql online db hosts and found this great platform
https://www.freesqldatabase.com/
managed to grate an account, created a db and integrated with my application
then used this online phpmyadmin to check if the application was able to create the db structure on the remote server https://www.phpmyadmin.co/
and the structure was there :)
thot i should share maybe some1 might be wondering how to host their db backed application for free6 -
3 database-admins are walking into a bar. Shortly the leave without ordering or even sit down for one sinple reason: they couldn't find a table.1
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always the same, while im in a part of the system, i notice an optimization that can speed up a major query which has to join a table which is about 4gb or something ridiculous. i make ammendments using partitions because they're in the defined on that table. test. everything cool. only to be told that theres no job to clear out old partitions so i end up reverting everything i've been doing which basically makes my day's total output == bollock-all. WHY DO WE PUT HALF BUILT SHIT INTO PRODUCTION!!!???2
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Any db suggestions for storing timeseries data? Nosql.
PS: Can go upto 10million entries so performance matters.5 -
By implementing proper eager loading in Eloquent, based on a sample request, I reduced it from 850 DB queries down to just 14 DB queries. So that's an increase in 98% performance?
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mysqldump db > db.sql
yum install mariadb
*config*
mysql -u username --password pass db < db.sql
Why do I control mariadb with the mysql word? I installed it, I want to use it....2 -
Totally fuck Prestashop! They can't even make DB properly. Now it is not possible to alter table, because they fucked up 1 default value. GJ, I hope it won't broke if I fix this...
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Im creating a "settings" functionality of sorts, unique per "account"
Ideally I'd create a new table, FK it with the Accs table with each Setting variable being a column
But im also inclined to just turn it into a JSON and not bother with N columns for it specially since arrays are involved in the settings
Could version it to ensure that if Settings change on code-level, old accs with old settings dont get fucked up
Now this is a pet project so im free to experiment, not bound by high level design documents
What do y'all prefer/recommend? JSON<->Settings Obj or plain old Table/column with FKs9 -
ICT class.
Class title: Excel as DB
It was about filters and sorting.
The closest thing to a db was that I found an INDEX function while I was bored... -
restoring a 2TB DEV DB running in k8s on SPOT instances is like trying to aim at a moving target. With a slingshot.8
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Upgrading our DB software.Been fighting with table and view character sets for hours. This is going to be the death of me.6
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program, which should save report from db to file, running a couple of minutes:
1) despite prefetch precompiler option no fetch was prefetched, because for every next line fetch cursor was reopened with condition WHERE some_val > prev_val
2) allocated array of host variables to fetch 100 rows per call to db client api
program is running under 3 seconds now -
Any good tutorials to build a simple users system with node.js and MySQL db? I just started node.js and I can't find anything good....6
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Can anyone tell me how I can integrate Mongo DB with golang?
I found go-bongo, but it's not well documented.5 -
Another great website error code fail (dumped its full error output to the website):
Traceback (most recent call last):
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/api.py", line 436, in send_error
data, 'text/html')
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/chrome.py", line 808, in render_template
template = self.load_template(filename, method=method)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/chrome.py", line 768, in load_template
self.templates = TemplateLoader(
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/web/chrome.py", line 481, in get_all_templates_dirs
for provider in self.template_providers:
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/core.py", line 78, in extensions
return filter(None, [component.compmgr[cls] for cls in extensions])
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/core.py", line 213, in __getitem__
component = cls(self)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/core.py", line 119, in maybe_init
init(self)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/authopenid/authopenid.py", line 157, in __init__
db = self.env.get_db_cnx()
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/env.py", line 335, in get_db_cnx
return get_read_db(self)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/api.py", line 90, in get_read_db
return _transaction_local.db or DatabaseManager(env).get_connection()
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/api.py", line 152, in get_connection
return self._cnx_pool.get_cnx(self.timeout or None)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/pool.py", line 172, in get_cnx
return _backend.get_cnx(self._connector, self._kwargs, timeout)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/pool.py", line 105, in get_cnx
cnx = connector.get_connection(**kwargs)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/sqlite_backend.py", line 180, in get_connection
return SQLiteConnection(path, log, params)
File "/usr/lib/python2.4/site-packages/trac/db/sqlite_backend.py", line 255, in __init__
user=getuser(), path=path))
TracError: The user apache requires read _and_ write permissions to the database file /home/trac/morituri/db/trac.db and the directory it is located in. -
I have this love-hate relationship with strong typing.
Right now, the types are shared between:
Postgres <-> DB Data Models <-> GraphQL <-> TypeScript <-> MobX-State-Tree2 -
Sometimes the implementation of setting a pw is really wow... yesterday I create a new db in my 1and1 hosting package. I generate a strong pw with a length of 20 and try to set it. It took me 1h to find out that 1and1 only accept 9 signs and I ranted after that because nobody says that they will just cut the inserted pw and set it with no warning or hint that I maybe should chose a shorter one...2
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Thought I would be clever to batch insert a bunch of data into the db with sql, with the catch that the data of a specific column should have a zero-padded number as prefix, counting up from 0. Ask AI for suggestion. Generates some SQL beyond my basic understanding. No way I'm gonna run that! Can't be bothered for an explanation, don't have the time. I realize my assumption to SQL my way through failed right from the start. Instead I let AI generate a python script to create a CSV with the desired data. A few iterations of testing, I take the result file and import it into the db. Done.3
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I have for a very long time wondered about, what do people do when using git and databases? If I locally add new columns to the db, how in the world would you easily make the change in production?
Do I really have to manually do it or take the time to make scripts for it?2 -
!rant
I am currently making a MS Access DB for my soon to be former workplace (compulsory social service) with a GUI.
It's a project administration DB with Schools, Projects, Plans, etc. I am making it because they used Access like a Excel spreadsheet.
How much would you demand per hour?7 -
Haaaa this moment you understand that, not only there is some old Java running INSIDE the oracle DB but also that it calls the app, that query the db, that run some more java, that call the app, etc.
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Our DB teacher always told us about God (Codd) doin some Join(t)s. He spoke very slowly. Must have been kinda disturbing for normal people...
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My most productive day of the month
Making a to-do list app with login and register functionality.
Why this fucking DB needs a primary key every time
Brainfart!2 -
When someone edits old liquibase files so the db doesn't get updated and everything needs to be done by hand.
What's the point of liquibase then -
Wonder how many companies out there uses Google Spreadsheet as a DB for customer projects.
Company I work in is one of them :(2 -
so yesterday was a fun day. I'm wiring up dbvis toour db life cycle envs. connection to dev, works. move on to Val, connection works. move on to prod, boom, dbvis violates some security protocal that obviously does not exist in dev or Val which locks out the dB acct. I single handedly shutdown production, simply trying to connect with dbvis. smh. what a day!!
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a former manager once asked me if db tables and views are the same thing.... I am still laughing when I think about it..
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Is there any version control system for database..
Ofcourse we can keep sql file for mysql db along with our code. Other than that .....
"I mean i want my db backup,
I do not want to do it myself every time,
It should work like pulling code"9 -
The craziest way to send notification from firebase to Flutter depends on my_sql DB
Ok, I tried so hard to deal with notification in my app by specific conditions in my #my_sql DB
The background work in #flutter is kind of not easy to deal with, so here's my crazy way to achieve that:
I connect my app with #firebase and every time a new mobile open the app it rejecte it's #token in the DB
Now I create a public #PHP file that has access to my my_sql DB and #firebase1 -
DB migrations give the chills.
This one went well. It worked as expected but that "uneasy" feeling lingers... -
Want to rename stuuby db to something else. Any suggestion?
Stubby db is a npm package which helps to stub HTTP(s) calls. Many people are confused with DB word and overlook it. 😢1 -
Ionic2 + pouch DB seem to be a good choice ... No I sit her 8 hours and try to get a database access fml
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$ python
>>> from package import app, db
Traceback:
ImportError: cannot import name db
WHY THE FUCK NOT YOU FUCKING CRETIN. JUST IMPORT THE MOTHERTRUCKING DATABASE SO I CAN IMPORT THE SHITTING MODELS, CREATE A TEST ACCOUNT THEN TELL THE CLIENT THAT IM ALMOST THERE DESPITE BEING THREE DUCKING WEEKS BEHIND MOTHERCUKING SCHEDULE.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARGHH.1 -
I started looking into building my Android app but wanted to see if I could get a refresher on a few things. The starter template for the Nav Layout isn't exactly functional.
So first question is anyone know any resources like an actually functioning demo project.
Also I need DB access but want to open any db file given the *.db path and the DAO should be persistent, share across all fragments/activities. What would be the best design, way of doing that in Android though.
I don't think you can pass the object between activities but what about fragments. I'm thinking the main app opens the DB and then can pass a DAO Interface to all the fragments to use?2 -
Has anybody had any experience or heard something about Spawn? I need a nice way of spinning up DBs for dev environments and Spawn seems like a viable solution.
https://spawn.cc/5 -
When you write a crawler to scavenge through a set of sites but only compare their 'uniqueness' through an on-startup hash map which doesnt reflect values already in DB and now you've duplicate values coz you didn't define uniqueness in DB either :v
I need to not be sleepy rn. -
In the last days, my developer was working with different kinds of databases.
He uses a database, named TimeScale DB (Timescale). This is the plugin of a famous SQL database PostgreSQL.
He imports the same data in PostgreSQL and timescale DB.
Size in Timescale DB is = 24KB
Size in Simple PostgreSQL = 166MB
This is the record of 1000000 rows, 12 columns.
Data fetching is the same on both databases, But if we fetch time-based data, (e.g 2 days, 24 hours, From Date to Date) we have a 50% to 200% difference depending on the query. python3 & elixir is also working fine with DB.
Results are also nearly the same with InfluxDB.
For a specific use-case, we have software that is handling Simple and time-series data at the same time. If anyone wants to suggest something new, Also tell us. -
Anybody here work with Firebase before?
I have a web app (react) that writes to a Firestore DB and a mobile app (react-native) that reads from the DB. As of right now, in my Firebase console I have the project set up as a web app project. Is this ok even though I’m reading the DB through a mobile app? Let me know if I’m not clear at all. Thanks!5 -
Holy shit Realm. This DB.... On Android it will crash if you access a reference to the db from a different thread than the one it was created from! 🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️🤦♂️
Why oh why can't they just have their own internals managing all the fucking thread they need? There's a reason they provide sync and async db access.
This basically means that my reference to a realm instance should always be tightly paired with the corresponding thread reference so that I can run my db queries on it.
👎8 -
You know that your are working with a DB-Guy when he provides you a "REST" interface that is outputting table data in JSON format and not even the JSON syntax is correct.
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Me: God damn why don't some of these save to the DB or others do it intermittently.... is this a network issue or-
API (if it could talk): Yeah mean I don't get, it I mean this is what I sent to the DB.
Me: Wait ... "what you sent!?!?!"2 -
Anyone one here played around with CouchDB before or use it for personal projects or work?
At face value, it seems like a pretty good DB, Just wanted to get some idea from people that have used it before if it is actually pretty good.
I'm not a dba and don't know the caveats of DB tuning or management. So I'm in need of a DB with simplicity and easy management in mind Hahaha.
I'm mostly working with data that is either in JSON or hashtable/dictionary format so it felt like a NoSQL DB would be easy-ish to save my data into, plus I don't think (I hope my guess is right here) that I need regular SQL type relations with the data I'm working with.
Please help me with my noob-iness!Thank you! 😄 -
Last question for today, I promise…
For my side project, I plan on saving a URL and an array of strings associated with that URL. I want to be able to search and sort the resulting DB from a frontend without needing complicated queries. Is this the use case for a key-value pair DB? Let me know if I’m not clear and thanks!14 -
The Asus in photo is an old 2008 model (PRO52RL) that I bought last year just for the DB exam.
We have to create a localhost server with Apache and create a database with Postgressql, we used the LAMP solution in the end and yes we discovered the existing of WAMP, but hey ! on Linux look COOLER 😂😎👌
I love and hate him, even The Binding of Isaac make him under a strong pressure 😞 but hey ! for coding with out testing or debugging is perfect 😉 or even for kill a person (it's really heavy )
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Today was the first time, that Git saved my ass.
I'm building an MS Access DB with fronted and apparently I fucked up while working on some FS stuff and corrupted the fronted-db.
Luckily, I sync my changes regularly to a git-repo so I just took my last backup and applied all changes that happened in between.
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