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Hey everyone!
devRant will be going down on Friday, July 7th around 10:30pm EDT so we can do some database maintenance and restructuring of our cluster. It hopefully won't be down for more than about 30 minutes or so, and during that time you should see our "down for maintenance" message.
If you usually use devRant while you're on the toilet (we know many do!), we apologize and suggest you try to schedule around this!
Please let me know if you have any questions and apologies for the inconvenience.44 -
Brain: hey kiddo, want to stay home and work on your side project today? I'm feeling good.
Me: fuck yeah finally!
*call in sick.
*open laptop. Tabs and editors already waiting.
*play music, no sound.
*system is all laggy.
*fuck, restart.
*
*Installing windows updates...
*leaves for work.18 -
I am currently working for a client who have all their data in Google Sheets and Drive. I had to write code to fetch that data and it's painful to query that data.
I can definitely relate with this.
PS: Their last year revenue was over US$2 Bn and one of their sibling company is among Top IT companies in the country.
8 -
I did a simple bar graph to show the status of a db migration. Each bar is a computer with a db file. As I was bored waiting, I added a King Kong hanging from the longest bar.
8 -
My internship at startup:
Dream: Lots of coding
Reality: Maintaining Excel sheets for API functions.😑14 -
You know you've had to deal with a tough database problem at work when you start seeing SQL in your own kitchen... (It says SOL meaning salt)
P.s. I sure hope this is how these memes work, because I want my avatar
16 -
Reviewing coworker's code:
Me: I see you're doing a convoluted sort for every element twice to get your two lists in sync... 😐
CoWorker: Yeah. *straight face, no regrets* That's the only way to do this.
Me:... Uh... No? You can just manage one list with a simple struct and then use the the standard sort.
Coworker: Yeah sure I know. But it'll take time. We don't have time.
Me: *aghast* This is embarrassingly bad code!
Coworker: Don't worry, later on I'll use a hashmap for it. But this needs to be pushed now.
Me: *to myself, no you don't need a hashmap*
Okay, you do you but I can't back you on this. It isn't going to take a lot of time to correct it.
Next day.
Coworker: Hey can you review my code again?
Me: You've made the changes already? *in a bored tone, knowing that they wouldn't have changed shit*
Coworker: No this is a different file. Our manager agrees that we can worry about performance later.
Me: Sure. *😀🔨🔨*
Few weeks pass by:
QA: The operation takes absurdly long time to complete even with the smallest data. Ten minutes for X is unacceptable.
Me: Who would've known? ☺️26 -
Me: *reinstalling windows10 using the recovery disk.
"Your partitions will be reformatted if needed... warnings this, that... Continue?"
Me: do it already!
"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Recovering... 1%..."
.
.
"Sorry cannot recover. We didn't change anything."
Me: *reboot
.
.
.
.
"No bootable drive found"
YOU MOTHERFUCKING LIAR! *throws away the thumb drive with the laptop attached out of spite28 -
Discovered one of the worst db designs ever:
- A cust is inserted in a table.
- The insert trigger is fired, calling a stored proc
- The stored proc being called creates a dynamic sql that builds a create table statement for 8 different tables. These tables will be postfixed with the newly-created cust id and is executed.
When querying info for a cust, a stored proc is used that accepts an id value would be appended to another dynamic sql that creates a select statement across all 8 tables for one customer.
Shoot me now.10 -
Seniors: Welcome to the team. Feel free to ask anything if you need help. There is no such thing as stupid questions.
New Dev: Sure. Thanks.
*a few minutes later*
New Dev: How to comment a code?
Seniors: Google it....and please don't ask stupid questions.11 -
Unintentionally Hilarious joke at work yesterday.
We were doing some data analysis, and I had to dump some stuff into a table for my colleague. So I ran the script and went to the bathroom (no.2).
When I came back, they asked me if the dump is done. And I said without thinking: "I just went." 😂3 -
We have this weird db naming convention requirement by the client all table names should be of 4 letters. And guess what somebody thought of naming a table 'ANUS'8
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Avicii died. 😞😢
At just 28.
He got me through some tough and grueling times. I still use his tunes while coding. I'm still shocked that he left so early. But he made it count. He might've lived short but he lived large.
I'll miss him. I'm sad that he left so early. But his work will live on. I hope to become as good at programming computers as he was at using them to make music. His music was perfection. RIP.13 -
Went out with friends last night to celebrate a birthday, on our way back with the train we are asked for our tickets. We had bought a group ticket (for 30€/5 Persons) and showed it to the ticket checker. It was 6:20 am at that point and we were all tired and just wanted to go home, but apparently the ticket was only valid to 6 am (it does not say that anywhere on the ticket and it is called a "9-o'clock day ticket"). That asshole seriously made a record about all of us and took 60€ from everyone of the 5 of us.
The Deutsche Bahn company is the only rail company in my region, there is nothing that could compete with them, so they just shit on their customers. And now they want to privatize the highways too? Stop making public traffic something to pay for! There is no competition if there is only one traffic company with the only highways or train-web in a specific region.7 -
Dev: Hay dude , look this page is broken, how long has it been like this.
Me: No? 🤔, Weren't you working on the Database for this yesterday?
Dev: I didn't change anything yet...
Me: Okay, let's do a git bisect and see where this came from.
...After going back in history and checking out like 3 commits.
Dev: It's fine I'll just search for it
Me: 😕, that's what we are doing the bisect for?
Dev: But we've already looked at so many!?
...After some time of convincing, finds good commit, does the bisect and finds offending piece of code. The database details changed.
Me: okay so while it's still pointing to the old database it's working but switch it to the latest one and it breaks. You sure you didn't change anything?
Dev: I didn't do anything.
Me: okay well it seems to me like it must be a database issue, let me know what you find.
10min later...
Dev: Hay dude, soo I found it, I accidentally renamed a table
In my mind: 😲😲😲
I hate working at a company with bad practices like saving database config into git and not making a copy of the database when you intend to work on it, and not edit the f'ing live instance! Not even close to the luxury of migrations.1 -
So, my last rant here was 3 years ago, and i just signed in again to devrant to post this fucking shit.
There is this guy who is a Project Manager in my office, I haven´t work with him but he sits in front of me and i have to listen to his bullshit almost every fucking day. Anyways, the other day he was talking to some other guy (a PM, also) and he said something like this:
"Programming is the most overrated thing ever, everyone can do it, you could do it, i could do it just googling stuff, i could even replace almost every programmer in this office, it´s the easiest thing ever. a programmer couldn´t do my job even if his life depended on it ´cause they can´t talk, they can´t manage people, they can´t manage their own time, heck they can´t even manage to talk to each other. they´re just a bunch of incels who think they´re important and their job is shit anyway".
They don´t see us as human begins, they see us as necessary evil.
(apologize if i wrote something wrong. English is not my first language)10 -
I was asleep and woke up and just had the thought: fuck Oracle and fuck Oracle DB. Going back to bed now 😴😴😴6
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I HATE TESTING DB MIGRATIONS! SHIT TAKES BLOODY FOREVER!
This one takes 20 freaking minutes each attempt, and I need to run it. yet again.
$@%&!10 -
So, a friend of mine started working on an internship in which he was supossed to manage a DB. He was given an Excel file. 🙈Wtf4
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So last semester, my college made a class compulsory to attend.
We were taught, "How to install MongoDB on Windows"...
With screenshots, not even live installation.
I wanted to die.. So much.. 😖4 -
20 minutes trying to convince my boss (lead dev) that dynamically create tables on DB based on file name to store uploaded json content isn't a good design approach and he is still convinced that 500 lines will really impact performance that much on one table and that this is the best design...
Based on this approach, he wants to create another table with the user who last modified and the "fk" (not sure if he even knows what this is cause none of the fks here point to anything...) would be the table name... now I know where those hideous tables we have here come from...
Don't know if I laugh or cry...3 -
I am sooooo very happy & grateful that my coworker wrote down this comment.. I'd have been lost without it! :/
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Spent a month working on a website that relied on crawled data
Got the memory leaks and usage down from 700mb to ~150mb
CPU usage from ~100% to <5%
Shrink-wrapped the DB requirements based on data
Created self-supporting services and what not
When everything FINALLY worked good enough for me to look at it and go "damn, this actually worked"
the whole monitoring sys got dyed in red :v
A quick look up and my crawlers exhausted my godaddy's per-user db limits.
Kill me.
Just fuckin kill me.7 -
Marketing : Do you think we can implement this feature in a system?
Dev : Hmm....*checking specs*...This will...
Marketing : *interrupts* we have already signed a contract with a client.
Dev : ugh......7 -
I hate the idea of a programmer's day.
I like the logic (256th day) but hate the idea.
It feels full of bullshit. It feels fake.
I guess it had that wannabe impersonator vibe to it that makes me nauseated.
I have similar feelings towards other kinds of such days.10 -
People with "I am a senior, only I have to be right" mindset are really fustrating to work it.
It is not that hard to accept the truth. No one can be right all the time and no one gonna look down on you for that. You don't have to shove off-topic stuffs down the other people's throat when you realize you might be wrong.4 -
HOLY FUCK (!dev) SOMEONE KILL THE MANAGEMENT OF DEUTSCHE BAHN ALREADY
Seriously where can I complain? delays on every single train i was on since weeks. and always because of some stupid shit like "we need to let another train pass by". wtf you didnt know that earlier?15 -
I got a bug report with a typo in it. The subject read "...action X takes long time thank expected."
The thank is supposed to be "than".
I chuckled and immediately created a snapshot that shows the result of the action and the success message says, "Action successful, thank you for your patience."
I shared it with my team but no one even acknowledged it. 😞2 -
Every time I have to recall how to LaTeX, it's a huge pain in the ass. It's like learning to code in Greek (I don't know Greek). Happens every single time (it can be months before I need to use it again).
However.
Every time I finish my creation, I fall in love with LaTeX all over again.5 -
Junior: I fixed the slow backup system in db server
me: what?
Junior: yes, I remove some weird database from the backup
me: prodcardholderslatinamerica db?
Junior: yes, that weird db!
:-/1 -
I just had the most surreal email discussion I think I've ever had...
I spent over two hours going back-and-forth over email with an enterprise DBA, trying to convince them I needed a primary key for a table. They created the table without a primary key (or any unique constraints... or indexes... but that's another discussion). I asked them to add one. Then had to justify why.
If you ever find yourself justifying why you need a primary key on a table in an RDBMS, that's the day you find yourself asking "is this real life?"
I want the last two hours of my life back. And a handful of Advil.1 -
Trying to discover why the DB listener wasn't being called in my app for like 30min. Many log messages, no exceptions or errors, DB rules revised, DB content revised, changed constructors, simplified code and nothing worked... problem: the phone's wifi was disconnected.2
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Slapping idiots around.
This needs to be a trend.
---
Actual rant :
I'm sitting in this idiot haven completing my mandatory hours doing nothing. Earlier I would spend this time learning stuff but I'm too fed up to do anything. This place is driving me mad and just today I had to suffer through more madness that is blocking me from resolving a bug.(I don't have the license to run the product I'm supposed to be fixing)
The number of inept idiots is too damn high. I try not to be bothered but I can only try so much.4 -
So these motherfuckers... they have stored the queries to generate the reports... fucking guess where. Just guess.
They stored the queries AS FUCKING STRING DATA IN THE TABLE. And you know how they get the parameters? A FUCKING JOIN WHERE THEY HAVE STORED THE PARAMS AS DATA IN ANOTHER TABLE.
So you query set the params to query to get the query to get that is joined with a query to get the reports.
If God is a programmer after all y’all are fuuuuuuuuuuuuuucked4 -
Really now?
AWS, #1 cloud provider with their #1 cloud database DynamoDB, all shiny, highly dynamic NoSQL, your data schema could change any second...
then DynamoDB errors out when one of your values is an empty string? {"foo":""} is impossible to store?
Like nobody ever saw or used empty strings a a value or what? There are tons of upvotes to fix this.
I just have to imagine the Product owner standing there: "No,no,no. They are just using it wrong if their data has empty strings as value. Won't fix!"4 -
Please use normalization. Don't store more than is intended in one field and use special characters to separate things. It would make future developers job easy.
7 -
Is there automation tool for postgres or mysql to fire a query? I got a db that will reset the row column value after 1 month of the created date
Edit: I know this is not SO
Not clearing the rows, just resetting the value of some rows if the criteria is met13 -
When i started my work I encoubtered this db(one of 4): more than 20 tables, some with 200 columns literally... EVERYTHING is a varchar 😓.
I'm slowly designing some normalized tables with real fk on new features and projects and people are like: how the fuck did you implement this feature so fast? the other guy spent 3 months designing this form (and I'm just speechless):
The form was some sort of crazyness shit passing input names as "name-of-property" and a file only to check if(name="string") then store a number value to an array and save it as a "number" (actually varchar) on the db. literally more than 50 if statements to do this.
Everything on a single table that made no sense at all.
Just wtf... At least my boss let me start if from scratch cause he we were always having panick attacks every time he needed to do something with it. 😂😂6 -
I am pretty sure by now that this project is trying to screw me over. on the test server I had errors I didn't have on docker, and on live I have errors I didn't have on test OR docker. Because why the heck apparently not. Sidenote: utf-8 is NOT suited for inserting text with emojis into a DB.1
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'Hey I found a bug in your code, it's probably a typo, see here.'
Me: Oh right, yeah. How stupid of me. Thanks, I'll push it.
'It's okay. You can push it or I can do it too after you push the changes we just discussed. I actually simplified one of your methods.'
Me: You, what... ?
(You crammed multiple lines in a single line with your stupid as fuck, rigid constructs, removing my error handling, loosely coupled service, in the name of simplification?)
' Yeah it's just four lines in a single function now, no need to call the function again and again.'
Me: (No... Just no. This totally undos whatever little I could do to avoid supporting your idiotic object in the first place.)
Oh... okay, we'll see. I'll let you know.
What life.
Life in a company full of ignorant, inflated egos is no joke.
Details:
I created a service that reads a configuration file and returns the configuration. This person needs five entries for his app logic. He collected them in a object. Quite alright. Except that the class prototype is shitty. I, like a normal person, made my service return a value based on input. I was asked to incorporate this awful object so that I can return the five entries together, which is awful because the service is not supposed to know about how the entries are clubbed. It should most certainly not know about the data members of the object!4 -
Family expectations from an engineer in India:
Go fix the ceiling fan, it's very slow these days.
😖1 -
Gahhhh!
Just inherited a HR backend written in Laravel. However, ALL database interaction is done using DB::raw() i.e.
$results = DB::select( DB::raw("SELECT * FROM tbl WHERE col = '$fromThe QueryStringLOl'") );
No models at all :(
FML.3 -
Company's HR team has launched a eco drive. As part of the initiative they're asking everyone to use only one tissue paper (among other things) to save trees.
.
.
So they've printed that message on thick glossy papers and pasted them, at least four per washroom among other places.
Okay, I guess.8 -
DevSup channel:
Someone: FYI, Db is down(ticket link)
Otherone: Can anyone help me connecting
with db? I am having issues.
I am so happy I am leaving this place in 2 months.... 😂😂1 -
In my work we have this big client who is really concerned about security.
We can't even access the DB from our machine, so they gave us some shitty, heavy as hell, laptops. It's ok, i don't like the ideia but ok.
But in this laptop have a super fucked up windows 7 that have almost everything blocked, we can't even install the fucking sdk(java) to work without asking the company's "IT guy".
On top of that, to access the DB from outside this client we need a VPN, it's ok, I understand, but the fucking VPN drop connection every 5 fucking minutes.
Yesterday I spent fucking 6 hours to run 2 ten minutes queries that we needed to make a report for this fuckers.
I sit in front of a big window, I really felt the will to throw their laptop right through it.3 -
What the fuck is wrong with Google?!!
Trying to log into Gmail.
Forgot password.
Gmail: To reset, code from authenticator app is required.
Me: Super. Good thing I set it up.
Enters code.
Gmail: Recovery email.
Me : Uh... Forgot that too.
Gmail: Some email address to communicate.
Me: Super!
Enters some other email address.
Receives mail with a link.
Me: Finally!
Opens link
Gmail: "When did you create your account?"
Me: Uh... If I had that kind of memory, we wouldn't be dancing right now.
.
.
.
Gmail: Sorry we couldn't verify you.
WHAT THE FUCK, GOOGLE?!
What sort of sadist play is this?!
Dropped them a mail to get access back. Got a link in the auto reply that explains how to repeat the above process. WTF?!
What the actual fuck?!11 -
!dev
Snow is fun and festive when you aren't sitting in a train stuck due to the weather. Growl :/
9 -
the web developer equivalent of waiting for code to compile is waiting for your local test DB to be populated with recent data from the production DB2
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Sport Festival today
I'm in the IT course and responsible for injecting data into DBs.
I asked some 11-graders if they would pay for better values ;D1 -
How many of you wear shades at work?
I started doing it after I faced some problems due to the extremely bright lights. It's such a complicated problem that no one in the management or admin team can do anything about it. 🙄15 -
Student Account Password at the university. No changes the default. It's their DOB and first two letters of the name.
Injection steps:
Open Database ( I am the Placement Representative )
Copy DOB
Paste
Add the first two alphabet
Unlocked3 -
Me chatting with a bandmate who is also a developer:
Me: do you have any experience in Db?
Him: Dropbox? Databases?
Me: Sorry enharmonic confusion. I meant C#
P.S. yes, sometimes I find my comments so funny that I make new joke posts about them.2 -
Export data from a database that you've not modeled is a problem (sometimes), I just realized that this DB has two tables to storage cities, the main difference is the id, the other fields are the same in both tables, I hate that kind of people....
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How surprising is it when a person designs code in a very clear and impressive structure and just when you think about asking them for guidance, they reveal themselves to be complete turds?
I've been working with this person's "infra" code, at work. I've rewritten some classes to use their infra. I had a vague idea of how the classes work. I had no idea of how their code works. Expectedly, there were some issues but now only minor ones remain.
I asked them for a description of what I'm supposed to do for the few bugs I'm facing. They replied in such a condescending tone, it made me want to punch them through the screen.
Almost a month later, we're still going back and forth with emails. I've been swallowing it and responding calmly. I never got direct answers. Always deflections to irrelevant things or veiled insults. I took it because they did correct one silly error of mine that actually my code reviewer should've caught. (What's worse is that it got introduced by me just before my review and commit.)
But does that give them the right to insult me in front of the whole team including my project manager? I got a reply today from them with everyone of note in cc implying very clearly that I have not done any work. They highlighted a line from my code with some todo tag (that was not meant for them) to make their invalid point. A line that's unrelated to the bug I asked them about. This is after I proved them wrong when they insisted that I had done something wrong about a feature related to the bug.
If you don't understand what I asked for fucking ask me to ask again. But do not fucking try establish yourself on higher ground by pointing out irrelevant things in my code.
I was shocked and enraged that they'd do such a thing. I double checked everything like a mad man. Despite knowing that the fix has to come from them, I was instantly transported to the noob stage, grasping at straws. I wanted to send a really scathing reply right away but my manager asked me to wait.
My mind is now a see saw shifting between a panicked noob questioning every fucking thing I ever did in my nada life and a hungry enraged monster looking to maul that fucking shithead for burning me like that.1 -
When you have a Database Theory final exam in 2 hours and you're cramming a 1/4 of the module. #uni #student
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I met my crush last day, she is a junior from the same college, everything was fine until when she wanted to find a recharge shop to recharge her phone. I opened PayTm(One of the Mobile Wallet here in India) and said I'm doing it.
Her reaction : What ? How ? You can do recharge right away from your phone ! wow !
I lost my interest on her :(
She is BTech Final Year Student
Tragedies2 -
When you replace a read from db to a read from file from db without testing and when you test it works
4 -
I was given 6 whole months to rewrite some old monolithic web app exactly 5 months ago today. Now I have to show my boss the progress I've made. How do I explain him that I wasted my time in this order:
1.- heavy procrastination
2.- try new frameworks to work with, pick one, start writing the app, regret and start over again using a different framework.
3.- devrant
4.- existencial crisis and self doubt.
Now all I have are a bunch of incomplete buggy modules and a mental breakdown.8 -
If anyone looking to start learning blender because of any reason (like being a masochist among others), check out blederguru's tutorials.
The guy is doing God's work. At least animation Gods. Funny, awesome & detailed content. -
Customer: "There are only 'X' values in COLUMN_D, your - report - import is wrong!"
Me: select count(*) from table_a where column_d is not in ('X') -> returns more than a thousand... Yeah please only scroll within a couple hundreds of records in your shitty sql client gui without making queries. Fuckhead. -
So, I feel a sleep at my desk for about 15 minutes. Only to awaken with drool down my shirt. I then proceeded, while half sleep, to delete 58 rows from the DB...O.o
Hahahahaha good thing it was only on my machine. -
If Skype 4 Business could stop changing the control names for their input fields, randomly, that'd be great.5
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A client hired someone to work on a new feature while we were working on something else. The new guy makes huge commits that we don't have the time to read, really.
I merged and deployed my work only to find that the whole database was wiped. Apparently, the new guy pushed some code that reset the database.
I Spent the rest of the day looking through backups trying to restore the database.2 -
I've now spent 6 hours trying to find a way to do something similar, as you can do in Neo4j, where you find relations up to depth 5, in PostgreSQL.
The issue is, I have to tables. One with persons, another one with relations (incoming ID and outgoing ID) to have a many to many relationship.
I'm at the point where I just don't care getting it to work. In Neo4j it's a fucking one liner, so why the fuck am I getting assigned to do this in PostgreSQL?
To prove a point? Well fuck you, I'm done with this shit.3 -
My life was troublesome today, had to help a non programmer to run jar files.
The jar executed well from command line in Windows 10 but didn't work on double click.
Did all the tricks, registry edits, cmd commands and at last I found a miracle tool called Jarfix.
Just double click and all okay.
The root cause of the problem was 7zip.
This bug is reported in the Oracle bug reporting and they have closed it as " Will not fix" low-priority report.2 -
There is a parody of "Cheap Thrill's" by Mongo DB.
Yes Mongo DB ,it was for thier product promotion(Mongo DB Atlas)!
BTW it's one of the best DB I have ever used, it binds well with NodeJs
Here is it:
I know its way old ,but just want to share
https://youtu.be/0vPt7GI-2kc -
Guys, a company's HR mailed me for a position that requires strong experience of ">3 years in Python with C or C++".
Does it mean Python and C/C++?
Or do they need someone who is using C/C++ to write Python?
I have some experience with adding Python support to C++ code. Does it count? 😁8 -
My journey into learning Docker, chapter {chapter++}:
Today I learned that when you use a database image in your docker-compose file, and you want to rebuild the whole thing for reasons (say, a big update), then if you change your credentials ("root" to "a_lambda_user" or change the db's password) for more security, and you rebuild and up the whole thing... It won't work. You'll get "access denied".
Because the database (at least mysql and mariadb) will persist somewhere, so you need to run "docker rm -v" even though you didn't use any volumes.
I love loosing my fucking time.4 -
I discover last week Eloquent ORM.
A php database abstraction layer.
How to make things quickly! Great tools!6 -
When you realise a so-called app developer has used nvarchar columns to store every single date record, in every DB table of your platform.
Using d/m/Y format.
Without leading zeros.
And, in just a few tables, m/d/Y.
*sigh*2 -
wtf boss!!!! Is it so hard to understand that having one column per year is a horrible bad practice?9
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We've got a big legacy app which we have to rewrite. The current client applications are only working on XP(!). We have to move the clients to the browser so we can finally get rid of all XP vm-s. The db schema is complex but still 1000+ stored procedures and functions and about a hundred tables with 13 years of data.
So I ask the guy responsible for maintaining the DB code. (he is ~25 years older than me)
me - Where is the source of the database. Which project?
he - Where would it be? It's in the db.
me - So we've got a huge db without VCS, upgrade/downgrade scripts, etc?
he - Yes. I don't get why young developers always want to use shiny new tech like git just because it is cool. It has nothing that an external usb backup drive can't do.
me - VCS has been around since the early 1980's...
he - If you really want, you can put it under git or whatever, so you can sleep better, but I still think it is stupid and a waste of time.
I get that it's hard to keep up, but getting personal... -
Anyone else annoyed by their scumbag brain that is hard to please but gets content easily?
Or is it just me?2 -
Been at it inconsistently for two weeks and a few days now. Hitting approx 30 wpm with dvorak! Starting to slowly integrate it into my daily work. I'm on my way to becoming ambitextrous. 😎10
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Scott Meyers.
He's just amazing. The way he thinks, he teaches, is absolutely wonderful. He's inspired me on many occasions.
Herb Sutter.
Absolute beast of a programmer. His guru of the week series is a simple but effective way to communicate concepts and techniques in a language.
There are a lot more - Scott Hanselman, Martin Fowler, Andrew Koenig, Andrei Alexandrescu, Barabara Moo and many more.
They remind me of why I chose programming. It wasn't for money or fame, just to solve puzzles in cool ways. It's the way you can take a simple concept and apply it to great effect that brings me joy and these people do it relentlessly.4 -
name your db nodes after GoT characters, to remind yourself you shouldn't give a shit when they die.
-
You had that moment when you agree with someone and given a ++ because it takes less space in DB than comment?
-
get to the office at 5:45AM to do a migration because the client doesnt want to automate it.. but pays extra for the inconvenience...
-
Asked us to build a car and later complain because it cannot fly.
And then, expect us to turn into a plane in 3days? -
My office WiFi is freaking fast upto 25mbps, should I download Torrents using it. Is there a possibility that corporate networks are under more surveillance ?7
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Here is a little Story/Joke:
Once I was doing some work on our sql database and I showed my boss the query I wrote and he then told me that it is way to broad. It does the trick but it searches much more. So he showed me the right query and told me that a database is like a extremely easy to trigger person. So we want to ask only as little as possible to not get the database pissed. Since he told me that, it is now stuck in my brain and I will never forget to optimise my queries :D2 -
That feeling when you debug the Users table in sql, which has a Password field encrypted with hash, but most of the demo users use the same Adminadmin password, so you recognize the other users password because you rembered the hash1
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Occasionally, some guys send badly written SQL to the database and drained most of the resources, then complain the db and apps using the db are not working.
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any thought about the best way to start a solo project? I think going for the db schema first is easier, curious to see your opinion 😁6
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I've been meaning to sign up on dev.to for a while now.
Finally started the sign up process. They require you to agree to follow their code of conduct which states that they will prioritize empowering the marginalized communities and in order to do that they will *not* act on complaints of reverse-isms. Reverse (sexism | racism), cisphobia, etc.
Am I the only one who thinks that this is wrong? I'm all for empowering people, tolerance and not getting trolled but outrightly rejecting complaints on topics that seem politically incorrect sounds superfluous to me. Am I interpreting something wrong? (I hope I am because in general I find the community to be nice and positive)3 -
The other day I fucked up. I coded a safety measure that saves a file on crash, to keep data safe.
I added two lines of code before loading the file, and they crashed. There goes all my data.
(At least got to fix that bug) -
I'm currently working on a new (for me) legacy database that store percentile numbers in a varchar column . Seriously who the fuck had the that brilliant idea!!!4
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So we finished our requirement ( barely) for a new client. Next is data modelling and system design.
We started with data modelling. Unfortunately the lead developer does not know the difference between database and data modelling.
me: hey bro, we'll do the database and stuff later, now let's focus on data modelling.
him: (acting like he knows) yeah I have developed a sample design for the "data model".
me: no this is database design.
him: what's the difference?
me: dude, they're totally different. Okay, simple explanation data model is what you want to store, whereas DB design is how you store it.
him: So, if I am not wrong, it's implied that you know what to store if you are talking about how to store it.
me: but you don't know what it is you want to store yet. And one of them precedes the other.
him: Okay, let's start with DB design.
me: What?????? you want to build a house without a plan??? That's it for me I am done !!!
I left the project yesterday, later I heard that, the team members are coders, who think that developing a software is all about coding and fixing errors. -
Still waiting for that confirmation email. Multiple resends and still nothing. My inbox has nothing from devrant. Now I can't ++. I want to ++. Seems like I can't have anything I want at all.
.
.
.
.
That's old. I deleted and created my account again but the rant was still saved so I thought why not start with it.10 -
Today is very special day. Our whole PHP app has connection problems with DB. After 6 hours of desperation still nothing...6
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Buy dell, hp, lenovo and any other craptop company out there and fire all the numbnuts working there so that they slowly die of unemployment in the fucking gutters where their useless asses rightly belong. Oh and castrate them too so that they don't reproduce.
I'm considering going full Lannister on them but that might be too harsh.5 -
Worst disturbance? This person who sits behind my back. I've gotten used to them not minding their own business and snooping into mine but to counter that they've taken to distracting me and others all the time.
Sample this incident from just a few moments ago (inspiring the rant).
Me: *debugging while listening to some ambient music channel
Them: *rushes to my desk, putting a hand behind my back
Me: *politely takes off headphones asking, What?
Them: *after peeking at my screen, nvm, I'll tell you later, I have a meeting to go to.
Fucking hell, idiot! It already takes me hours of pushing myself to come to work at this good for nothing place and then actually get to working. Just flush your head in the toilet so you don't take a dump on me with your shitty restlessness.1 -
Rejected for the job . Out in technical round, though i gave all the correct answers.
Me: seating outside with a down face.🦁
HR: what happened? you seems to bit low .
Me: sir ,got rejected in technical round.🐷
HR: work on mistakes.
Me: yeah sir🦊
Inner me: tell me the mistakes fucker...
Why ? Why? Why?
Dealing with rejection for no reason 🐀17 -
Try inserting today's date in access db using sql ( 01/03/2017 in dd/MM/yyyy format). Open db and check what has inserted instead.1
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protected $db;
$this->db = new PDO($tooLazy, $toDeclare, $everything);
public function getCoffee() {
$getCoffee = $this->db->prepare('SELECT * FROM Coffee');
$getCoffee->execute();
$result = $getCoffee->fetchAll();
return $result;
} -
What do you think of online tests (for hiring) with a mandatory webcam?
The webcam part is making me anxious enough to back out.24 -
It's too late for this but I just realized it so I'm sharing it anyway.
How do I get through tough dev days?
Depending on how tough it is going :
House music
Soundtracks for focus
Soundtracks for action (any Assassins here?)
AC soundtrack with chocolate.6 -
What Database client do you use? I'm currently using Sequel Pro. Right now I'm comparing TablePlus and DataGrip.
DataGrip - not user friendly and complicated to use but powerful
TablePlus5 -
So what is the best free Mongo DB client for Mac? What are you using aside from the command line?
I prefer good ui and features. Thanks! 👍5 -
A dedicated team has built an "infrastructure" for creating UI for c++ developers in the company. What looks like a poor attempt at recreating what Microsoft did with XAML at first glance, it actually is a horrible exercise in force feeding people the stinking pile of shit that their code is.
The idea is to make it easy to create UI for developers who aren't used to front end development. They should just need to declare the layout. Very noble.
But.
If you want to do anything more than show a checkbox or a radio button, if you dare to define relationships between the UI controls or worse, if you get ambitious with creating a simple UI that uses a lot of similar controls and similar relationships with dynamic content... be prepared to eat your own barf from eating too much of their shit.
Not only do you now need to write front end code (including JS among others), you need to do it with limited or poor support and you have to make sure that it sits well with the house of moist, crumbly cards the team proudly created. Or resort to some very stupid and performance costing "bypasses" that further cripple your application code. Usually you have to do both of these things.
To think that scores of other teams have welcomed this amazing enhancement with full support without any resistance. It's sickening.
I waste too much of energy (and good jokes!) with these people.4 -
Responding to a numb sales guys joke with "do you know the best about UDP jokes? - I don't care if you don't get it! " ...turnin around left the hallway... Unbeatable
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Pretty recent one. I found that I can use Perl to edit files using a single cmd line (with regex search and replace). Loved it.
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Spent 4 hours working with a buddy before realizing our failing code stemmed back to using sqlite3 Npm package, which is asynchronous. Switched to better-sqlite3, a synchronous sqlite package, and alls good.
What's the purpose of an async DB anyway? Seemed like it made storing and retrieving data a huge hassle. -
Finally I have something decent for my résumé.
I was going through some LaTeX hell before someone started a cv tools discussion. It was good to learn that json cv is a thing. But it was too late for me. LaTeX posed a challenge and I was bored. It became personal.
After a lot of kicking around and landing on XeLaTeX, I finally have a decent layout. I had to compromise a tiny bit but that's on me for having little content.
(I wanted a graphic résumé but I'll need to do more to sufficiently fill a page. Besides I'd need to design icons and shit for it.)
Now it's done and my job hunt can start!3 -
My one of my favorite open source project was Re-think DB!
It was highly light weight real-time DB.
One fine day, I read a blog by the CEO / founder, telling we are under loss since there is no financial support! and we are closing it, by just keeping the website and docs of prev version alive!
I was heartbroken , for days!
This takes the top place for favourite oss project
Btw
It has high no. of stars in github than Mongo db, reddis, etc..3 -
Come on, WordPress! Why are you such an asshole? I just want to migrate and move on with my life.
Is it because I started with Joomla? Is it because I cheated you with Flask?
Can you please, please be nice to the same db you made? Am I asking to much for?1 -
Sure, clear the DB every day... Makes testing so much easier zomgs!
Its a database not a dailybase 😂🤔 -
I am wondering what secure app do you guys use for texting/voice/video.
I know Signal but I am looking for something that uses a username like devrant instead of a phone number.6 -
Best: rediscovering auto hotkey. It's weird how much it pleases me. 😳
Worst: Oh so many. I've tried to overcome these with varying success rates but there's one that is still a big pain: job.1 -
I know it's old but it happened again and I had to waste a few minutes because I couldn't disable the bloody task this time.
But using psexec tools worked.
Guess micro and soft describes their ux team.
Look at the balls on their micro cocks. "Heads up". How dare you scare me like that on *my* fucking machine that I paid for, god dammit.
"We're going to make Windows better...". Can it suck my dick after updating? Because I'd like to choke the retard genes out of it.
The only thing that comes close to it is the fucking swiping keyboard that I'm using to type this rant.
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Last rant update:
I won't have to take a leave after all and won't have to force myself to a wasted day full of useless awkward interactions or roaming around in a park.
Phew! -
Weekly drama call 1.
(the number reflects the devrant broadcast count not the actual count).
We work with a remote team and the project manager there just loves to talk. It started as something adorable(?) but it's just plain annoying now. He keeps on talking and talking and talking. We just muted him, had a good laugh and missed nothing. Nobody has any idea when he'll stop.
:/
.
.2 -
Been told ill be worming with Oracle DB'S today, as someone who's never touched on Oracle stuff before. Any advice?4
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Do you have a db specialist in teams? I often see frontend & backend ranting but no db Devs. Isn't that role so crucial as one lost index can cause massive performance drops?5
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Worked until now on my private mac and used pymssql and freetds to connect and work with a MSSQL DB and Python
Two days ago I switched to an Ubuntu Machine and I couldn't get it to work.
As it turns out Ubuntu was not able to solve the DNS Name into an IP Address.
FML - 2 days wasted2 -
Totally fuck Prestashop! They can't even make DB properly. Now it is not possible to alter table, because they fucked up 1 default value. GJ, I hope it won't broke if I fix this...
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Today we trunkated a table with 15 milion keywords for our search engine. It did feel very scary... With @Jappe and @hahaha1234
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There's a game called Virtual Beggar. I don't usually like these mindless games but since it was so easy and I wanted to see what jokes the developer has hidden in it, I played it for a few days. I got to a point where you're asked to make the ultimate donation and restart the game. That's apparently asked multiple times in the game. You become a millionaire and then restart. Billionaire, again restart.
That's what I see now when I see people deleting their accounts and returning the next day.1 -
Update to my last rant:
I wrote a reply to the person. Not scathing (as I'd have liked it to be) but firm and in a no nonsense way. My manager supported me. My project manager talked with the person to in order to convey what the issue is and to undo any misunderstandings due to written communication (we have different native languages).
I have not received a reply but my project manager told me that they are analyzing the problem now. I was also told that they are not a bad person. ^^
I think I'd like to believe that. We all make mistakes after all. -
3 database-admins are walking into a bar. Shortly the leave without ordering or even sit down for one sinple reason: they couldn't find a table.1
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Hey guys, I have a question.
If you ever had to deal with parity (Ethereum node software) and ever ran archive node, you perfectly know how long this bastard synchronizes. For our server it took almost month. Well, today or yesterday parity decided to spontaniously blow up (or crash) corruptiong database manifest file which greatly undercut us.
Anyone knows any viable way to rebuild manifest file withoud doing full sync from a scratfch?
If anyone has any suggestions other than what 95% of internet say "well, delete your database and sync from scratch" Im happy to test if it will solve our burning burning issue.
I am sure there is some way to rebuild database, especially where it's manifest file that's corrupt (Ive checked it, for wtf reason parity decided to truncate the file when it crashed).
Database backend is written in rust, and is called rocks db.
EDIT: if helps, its archive fat database (fat db means it should be easier to recover?)4 -
So I'm here after a long break coz my life is shit all over again, and only devRant allows me to rant officially.
I was selected by a recruiter visiting our college in very early days of the campus placements, September last year,
Problem 1:
I wasn't allowed to sit in any of the other recruitment drives by the college, even when I didn't really like the job profile I was in
Problem 2:
The company is taking 12 tests and wants me to work on 3 Projects of bootstrap, rails, and react each, before they give me joining.
Here I am working like an asshole with all frustrations after my college got over to finish the tasks without a penny.
This frustration is only causing more and more delay in my work. -
always the same, while im in a part of the system, i notice an optimization that can speed up a major query which has to join a table which is about 4gb or something ridiculous. i make ammendments using partitions because they're in the defined on that table. test. everything cool. only to be told that theres no job to clear out old partitions so i end up reverting everything i've been doing which basically makes my day's total output == bollock-all. WHY DO WE PUT HALF BUILT SHIT INTO PRODUCTION!!!???2
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Recently I had a task from my university to build some DB with forms using MS Access.
Despite of me constantly thinking that I wold accomplish this using Python+SQLite+Some GUI much faster, I've completed.
And I've got only one question left: why the hell proprietary product with giant company behind has such a terrible UX?
It' really painful to use. -
What do you think of the Database design of Drupal/WordPress? They use 2 tables for 85% of the data!! Product, pages, whatever are all stored in the same 2 tables. Does that work out better than having each content type in separate tables?
I'm thinking of making an ERP. Would that table structure work there?2 -
I have a choice to either take a leave without me wanting to or to go waste my day with the people in a theme park that I already don't much like.
All because someone wants their picnic figures to look good.3 -
Dvorak users, how do you manage your shortcuts, like in vim?
I can't quit it anymore! 😜
I am too scared to remap everything.7 -
DynamoDB should be renamed to DynamoPseudoDB since it's nothing like a "real" DB, but more like a key-value store with some DB features.5
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C++ is the worst thing ever happened to the developer community.
Doesn't have a stand of its own. Always changing. -
Sometimes the implementation of setting a pw is really wow... yesterday I create a new db in my 1and1 hosting package. I generate a strong pw with a length of 20 and try to set it. It took me 1h to find out that 1and1 only accept 9 signs and I ranted after that because nobody says that they will just cut the inserted pw and set it with no warning or hint that I maybe should chose a shorter one...2
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Our DB teacher always told us about God (Codd) doin some Join(t)s. He spoke very slowly. Must have been kinda disturbing for normal people...
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Anti climactic story time (as in there's no promotion in this story):
Sometime ago there were some organizational changes happening in my company that put me in a very tricky place. Theoretically, I was put on a level that was supposed to be an upgrade from my previous level. Practically, it didn't come with any benefits and it was actually a downgrade because anyone who joined the company in the six months before these changes was in the same level as me (who'd been in for roughly 2 years).
It felt really insulting because I was about to be actually promoted. My manager and his manager tried to gaslight me into believing that I'm not at all affected in any way, before giving in and agreeing that a mistake was made. I was promised that next year it'll be corrected and I'll be promoted two levels. Even the HR assured me of that. I knew it was too good to be true but I was too demotivated to find another job.
Fast forward one year. My bosses are all praises for the work I put in. But, no two level promotion. Reason? They tried but couldn't get the management to agree. The boss apologized to me and asked me if I wanted him to try again. What an insolent arse!
Fast forward one more, extremely glum year.
This time I am part of a different team so the team lead is different but the manager is same. The team lead really went all out with showing appreciation for me. He talked for almost an hour(!) about how I exceeded his expectations and went on to claim that his app's release would have been impossible if it weren't for me, the new team member. It was really humbling and satisfying. But what did I get? A limp handshake from the manager with fucking loose change.
Silver lining. At least the manager did away with the 'well wisher, on your side' pretense this time. No mentions of failed promises, just regular empty promises for the future.
Fast forward 3 months.
Still here. Recovering. I am mulling over a much better offer than what my current boss can give me. Thinking about how long it takes before I'm in the dumpster again. I have stopped giving any fucks about anything here. I try to do the minimum required unless it benefits me in some way.
The end.5 -
When someone edits old liquibase files so the db doesn't get updated and everything needs to be done by hand.
What's the point of liquibase then -
I have for a very long time wondered about, what do people do when using git and databases? If I locally add new columns to the db, how in the world would you easily make the change in production?
Do I really have to manually do it or take the time to make scripts for it?3 -
stdclass arrays of php are a good solution to work with data from the database but sometimes they can be a pain in the ass...7
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So, question time to see if I'm being noob or not... Context: I have 3 services, that link to 3 databses, ducks live on DB 1, but can have a grape assigned to them in DB 2, and also have a lemonade in DB 3, which saves more details on their dietary preferences than DB 1 and 2.
Scenario 1: To show that the green grape is linked to Mr. Quacks MeUp in DB2, is there any real difference between linking the grape in a link Table (grapeDuckLink) to the guid of mister Quacks (found on DB1) , or
Scenario 2: should I have an additional table that houses all the Guids of the ducks that have access to DB2 and an ID assigned to that guid and link that ID in the grapeDuckLink table?
Clarity, I am fighting for scenario 1 as scenario 2 feels unnecessarily complex... Am I being a noob for thinking that or am I on the right track?4 -
If you are into Postgres and don't know this guy than I don't know what to say...
I wonder if he's on devRant
2 -
- Create a Cron to delete users with course status 'enrolled/incomplete' for several months based on existing courseUpdateLogs
- Run Cron manually 1st time
- Find out courseUpdateLogs were very incorrect
- Find out a LOT of valid users got deleted and can't access their worksite
- F***9 -
Dont be that guy, ok. Just clean up your shit and don't let shit go through you.
I will git blame you. I will judge you.
#leaveitbetterthanyoufoundit
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The craziest way to send notification from firebase to Flutter depends on my_sql DB
Ok, I tried so hard to deal with notification in my app by specific conditions in my #my_sql DB
The background work in #flutter is kind of not easy to deal with, so here's my crazy way to achieve that:
I connect my app with #firebase and every time a new mobile open the app it rejecte it's #token in the DB
Now I create a public #PHP file that has access to my my_sql DB and #firebase3 -
Wonder how many companies out there uses Google Spreadsheet as a DB for customer projects.
Company I work in is one of them :(2 -
Want to rename stuuby db to something else. Any suggestion?
Stubby db is a npm package which helps to stub HTTP(s) calls. Many people are confused with DB word and overlook it. 😢1 -
Like 3 days looking for graphenedb connection with golang..
just did..
im so happy :'D
guys lets party!! -
DB migrations give the chills.
This one went well. It worked as expected but that "uneasy" feeling lingers... -
Is there any version control system for database..
Ofcourse we can keep sql file for mysql db along with our code. Other than that .....
"I mean i want my db backup,
I do not want to do it myself every time,
It should work like pulling code"9 -
There weren't enough barbed poles in my sorry ass apparently. For I have inserted in a big one by deciding to use blender. 😬
Zero background in animation but I want to create a little animation and PowerPoint isn't proving enough for it, and after fucking around with Synfig I realized I actually need a 3d animation tool.
So yeah. Basically, fucked myself. -
How is your experience with upgrading from Debian 8 to Debian 9? Want to update my homeserver but I really don't want to screw it up. Especially with the switch from MySQL to MariaDB1
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Spent two hours trying to work out why a Kubernetes pod wouldn't apply it's database migration when it works in every other environment. Turns out the database instance was powered off. Piss biscuits.
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I would like to use an graph database for a new application. Do you have any recommendations? How is Apache Tinkerpop?4
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Since HR does job postings on StackOverflow I'm aware that they have a landing page. ...did not expect that. 😀😀
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Things I say at work:
"...and the words 'ghetto' and 'database architecture' don't ever belong in the same sentence." -
The Asus in photo is an old 2008 model (PRO52RL) that I bought last year just for the DB exam.
We have to create a localhost server with Apache and create a database with Postgressql, we used the LAMP solution in the end and yes we discovered the existing of WAMP, but hey ! on Linux look COOLER 😂😎👌
I love and hate him, even The Binding of Isaac make him under a strong pressure 😞 but hey ! for coding with out testing or debugging is perfect 😉 or even for kill a person (it's really heavy )
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