It works. My code fucking works. It shouldn't. I got tons of errors, I changed to some obscure shit, expecting it to fail, but it fucking works. I should be happy, but I'm mad for not understanding how.

Trying to explain my job role to the people who are two generations elder than me!

Epic team fail. I bought a mechanical keyboard, plugged it in typed one word and the team wanted to kill me.

I don't know much about keyboards, but turns out it had blue, very loud, very clicks switches.

Keyboard was unplugged, wrapped up and put back in the box ready to be returned.

The feeling when you realize some people on the project are writing legacy code from scratch. Apparently it seems they've never heard of any coding standards, they think clean code and style guidelines are for the weak and single responsibility means one single method is responsible for a bunch of unbelievably diverse things. They are like the Gumbys of the dev realm but it's my brain that hurts every time I have to deal with their code.

AI would have to be amazing to work out what project managers and clients actually want!

I got attacked by ransomware and was asked for money...

I sent them my salary slip..They removed it from my computer immediately..

I wanna cry.

One day I will come across a bug that makes sense.

Today is not that fucking day.

My teammates are working on a legacy codebase so shitty awful, so poorly written, so full of pitfalls, hidden information and intricate relationships, they gave a name to their development style:

Indiana Jones programming.

My workplace is relatively safe in case of a zombie apocalypse: no brains

It's ok computer. I go to sleep after 20 mins of inactivity too.

If I could represent my life using 32-bit signed integers, you would be -2,147,483,648 because you are the Most Significant Bit of my life ❤

Mostly coworkers code lol but sometimes its my own code.:p

#code#

That short moment of fear when Windows restarts during boot without appearant reason and you think the last Windows update messed with the hard drive encryption

Its been years since i saw my desktop wallpaper.

Worst pun of the year contender, a colleague said to a node Dev...
"These Node Devs are all the same... They think they node it all"

Perhaps if companies were driven not by greed, but by quality and improving the respective field they are in, perhaps the world would be a better place... But what do I know...

Short inspirational​ story :

Hundreds of mail sent
Sub : application for job

After 3 years
He got mails
Sub : application for job

I wish not sleeping didn't make you feel so shitty 😔 I have projects to finish

Go travelling but end up staying in a hotel room till noon reading hackernews.

Can code awesomeness for my clients.
Can drive traffic to almost any website.
Can turn half-baked ideas into money for clients.
Have absolutely no game at all with the opposite sex.

Sometimes the tradeoff of being a geek sucks.

Moments when you give wrong estimate and then have to sit up all night.
Fuck estimates. I will never get them right.

That moment you wrote ~100 lines of code that doesn't fix your problem which was just a typo

Fell asleep on my first day in my very first project. When I woke up, I saw an email from our manager with the subject "No sleeping please.". No email body. 😂

I would be have to say waking up to fix bugs really works better than coffee

Hello World!
I'm new...

Not sure to delete this block of code... or just comment it out until product owner changes her mind!

It's so cold in the office that I want to work under my desk, next to my foot heater. Can't see the monitor from there, though.

"Other" seems to be some kind of antimatter

That time when you code up something really cool (to you, that is...) and none of your friends understand.

Me: "Look at this cool thing!"
Them: "Looks like a bunch of numbers."
Me: "But they mean foo, bar, and baz!"
Them: "Whatever."

:(