I'm going to make 4 statements of which only 3 are true. You tell me in the comments which 3 are true.

1. At my job in the marketing department, I manage our Facebook ads campaign where we spend hundreds of thousands of dollars in advertising.

2. MIS department inexplicably blocked the marketing dept from the Facebook domain altogether near the end of the day.

3. They also block Dropbox although we still have to manage all the distribution of digital video and commercials to our tv advertisers.

4. I work in a technically progressive environment that understands how things work online.

junior dev: how do i-
senior dev: RTFM
junior dev: `npm install rtfm`

HR: We have received complain that you have been sexually harassing an intern.
Me: No, I wasn’t. Me and the new intern all we talk about is Coding, Apps, and TV-Series
HR: You are lying. I have the words that you said to the intern. Do you want me to read it out.
Me: I have no clue what I said to the intern so please read it out.
HR: You said, “Always pull before you push”. Do you remember saying this?
Me: Yes, I was teaching the intern how to use GIT.
HR: Okay, let me call the intern and let see if he says the same.

** Intern **
HR: Was he sexually harassing you today at any time.
Intern: No
HR: Did he said, “Pull before you push” to you?
Intern: Yes
HR: What does that mean, sounds like a slang for something sexual.
Intern: haha, no it means that I should pull the changes made to the files before I can push the changes I did to the code from my computer.
HR: But he said something else like he was teaching you how to use GIT
Intern: Yes, that’s what GIT is.
HR: Okay both of you can go and don’t use this type of terms in the future it doesn’t make good working culture.

W linux!

I remember opening an old script file on our server for scheduled tasks, and thinking to myself; What idiot wrote this mess? It's unnecessarily complex, solving the problem in a convoluted way. And of course, not a single line of comments.

After reading it through and through many times to understand what each line did I kept repeating to myself; What an imbecile... Being this stupid should be illegal... Coding should require some sort of license to prevent idiots from doing this!

Then of course, it slowly dawned on me. I had written this crap one year before. I'm the idiot... 😐

I've commented every line religiously since then.

"Just patch it up; we will refactor it later."

Rant! ✋😜👍
When a rookie is trying so hard to behave like she is a god damn expert in programmng! 😏🙊🙈

Coding in vim as a student:

[me]: hey, could you help me real quick?
[classmate]: Yeah sure. Okay, I see.
*classmate takes control of the keyboard*
[me]: wait-
[classmate]: see if you ju- wait, huh, what? Why can't I type?
[me]: sorry, I use vim.
[classmate]: this is stupid, you should use sublime it's so good
*classmate leaves*

😒

Android app controlled robot built in 2 days. App was developed from scratch. coolest project.

An essential helper function for any project.

- Hey, have you heard of devRant?
- Look I have been a developer for more than 20 years; new IDEs, editors, languages or whatever that is, appear every week and they all just die. I'm sticking to my guns and nothing you can say can convince me to even look at this devCrap or whatever it is.
- Oooooookay...
#devCrap

Better not come back with comments!

I'm recruiting a new dev to my team, and that just happened.

A note to co-workers while coding:

I am busy please don't....

my gf visited over the weekend. when she went out to get groceries I kept myself busy looking for a error on a project.
she came back and was like: did you fail to end a sentence with a period.
that solved the problem

When you start programming...

Got access to a university's supercomputer today, 512 cores, 8TB RAM... I'm still shaking...

today when I was asked to fix some code I couldn't help but count if those variables where used more times :D

$ > rm -rf *
...fuck I forgot to cd first...

git life !

When they hear you are a programmer

6 stages of debugging

God I love these

integration tests...

what do we say to testers? not today

<rant>
How the hell do these people have a senior position?
<rant-cause>
Sdev:"The are no vulnerabilities in my code because i have Avast running at the same time"
</rant-cause>
SecOps: "<insert potoo bird reaction>"
</rant>

Does anyone else suddenly lose the ability to type properly as soon as someone is watching/pairing?

"A different error message! Finally some progress!"