My manager doesn't get it.

Frack he did it again.
In a meeting with the department mgr and going over a request feature *we already discussed ad nauseam* that wasn’t technically feasible (do-able, just not worth the effort)

DeptMgr: “I want to see the contents of web site A embedded in web site B”
Me: “I researched that and it’s not possible. I added links to the target APM dashboard instead.”
Dev: “Yes, it’s possible. Just use an IFrame.”
DeptMgr: “I thought so. Next sprint item …what’s wrong?…you look frustrated”
Me: “Um..no…well, I said it’s not possible. I tried it and it doesn’t work”
Dev: “It’s just an IFrame. They are made to display content from another site.”
Me: “Well, yes, from a standard HTML tag, but what you are seeing is rendered HTML from the content manager’s XML. It implemented its own IFrame under the hood. We already talked about it, remember?”
Dev: “Oh, that’s right.”
DeptMgr: “So it’s possible?”
Dev: “Yea, we’ll figure it out.”
Me: “No…wait…figure what out? It doesn’t work.”
Dev: “We can use a powershell script to extract the data from A and port it to B.”
DeptMgr: “Powershell, good…Next sprint item…”
Me: “Powershell what? We discussed not using powershell, remember?”
Dev: “It’s just a script. Not a big deal.”
DeptMgr: “Powershell sounds like a right solution. Can we move on? Next sprint item….are you OK? You look upset”
Me: “No, I don’t particularly care, we already discussed executing a powershell script that would have to cross two network DMZs. Bill from networking already raised his concern about opening another port and didn’t understand why we couldn’t click a link. Then Mike from infrastructure griped about another random powershell script running on his servers just for reporting. He too raised his concern about all this work to save one person one click. Am I the only one who remembers this meeting? I mean, I don’t care, I’ll do whatever you want, but we’ll have to open up the same conversations with Networking again.”
Dev: “That meeting was a long time ago, they might be OK with running powershell scripts”
Me: “A long time ago? It was only two weeks.”
Dev: “Oh yea. Anyway, lets update the board. You’ll implement the powershell script and I’ll …”
Me: “Whoa..no…I’m not implementing anything. We haven’t discussed what this mysterious powershell script is supposed to do and we have to get Mike and Bill involved. Their whole team is involved in the migration project right now, so we won’t see them come out into the daylight until next week.”
DevMgr: “What if you talk to Eric? He knows powershell. OK…next sprint item..”
Me: “Eric is the one who organized the meeting two weeks ago, remember? He didn’t want powershell scripts hitting his APM servers. Am I the only one who remembers any of this?”
Dev: “I’m pretty good with powershell, I’ll figure it out.”
DevMgr: “Good…now can we move on?”

GAAAHH! I WANT A FLAMETHROWER!!!

Ok…feel better, thanks DevRant.

Few months ago, I ate so many MBs (just 300+ GBs) in a month that my ISP blocked my connection and sent a worker to check if i was sharing my internet connection with neighbours etc. { They say UNLIMITED downloads when selling packages }
I was so pissed that after restoration I wrote autorun-on-startup powershell which keeps downloading a 100MB file forever just to eat bandwidth.
This month my downloads crossed a TB.
I feel like I've pissed in ISP's face just to show that if I'm not eating TBs every month, it doesn't mean i can't do it.

I was activating virtualenv in powershell when my younger brother came in.

Me: *all nervous* please don't think I'm hacking or trying to set off a bomb. (He always thinks I'm hacking and tells on me.)

Brother: *silent*

Me: *even more nervous* I don't want my laptop to get taken away. Don't tell on me and say I'm hacking, because I'm not.

Brother: Oh, I know you're not hacking this time.

Me: You do? *relieved.*

Brother: Yeah, because this time it's a blue background, not a black one.

Me: Oh, haha. So you're only scared of things such as these? *opens CMD and Git Bash* you know, just because it's dark themed, doesn't mean it's malicious. Besides it—

Brother: oooOooOh! You're hacking again! I'm telling on you!

*Note to self: Never use dark theme in front of the ignorant again.)

Me: p
Windows Search: Paint
Me: pow
WS: PowerPoint
Me: powers
WS: Powershell
Me (typing too quickly to notice Powershell is already there): powershell
WS: ummm idk

Happy TGIF guys

For PowerShell on Linux

Just created my first program using powershell, It runs in the morning and gives me a weather forecast.

Ok... But... Why?

Why would you use PowerShell instead of bash... Just... Why...

Me : "I want to remove this file"
Windows powershell : "No you can't"

Me : "I'd like to remove this file and then sort all my /home files in alphabetical order and rename all of then adding some text before and after there actual name"
Linux bash : "Ok. Done."

Sublime must think it's Autumn because the leaves are changing colors.

You retarded cunt. Yeah, you. No, don’t stare at me like you did nothing.
I fucking wrote 3/4 of your stupid script because you put batch in PowerShell and don’t know what a fucking anonymous object is, and you take credits without acknowledging I helped the shit out of you. Do it one more time and I’ll bomb your hard drive with a fucking hammer.

Useless fuck

So today I was working on some PowerShell scripts and I get a question from a colleague
Colleague: So, How's your girlfriend doing ?
Me: "You cannot call a method on a null-valued expression" -ForegroundColour "Red"

*Colleague throws something at me*
Totally worth it!

TLDR: In defense of Powershell - the rant:

I don’t get the Powershell hate.

You don’t hate a screwdriver for not being able to turn a nut, you just *don’t use a screwdriver to turn a nut*

Once you recognize what the tool is good for and you don’t try to use it like Bash, it’s wildly powerful, and satisfying to use in a way Cmd.exe never was.

Cygwin or a Linux Subsystem can only go so far on a Windows computer. You’re dealing with two fundamentally different OS architectures. It makes sense you’d need different tools.

And like it or not, Microsoft owns the non-tech-user desktop , corners the non-tech server business market, and Active Directory is THE tool for managing Windows desktops on a large scale - So Wanblows is not going away anytime soon.

Automation without some weird ass sysVol batch login script is finally possible. Anyone who knows .Net classes can leverage their methods from directly within Powershell. Remote management of headless Windows servers is now a reality. If you have an Office 365 Exchange server you can literally Powershell remote to it for management, just like your favorite cloud hosted Linux distribution.

No one said Windows is a better OS, but an object based shell on an object based OS *makes sense*. It’s useful for its environment. Let it be.

This story starts over two years ago... I think I'm doomed to repeat myself till the end of time...

Feb 2014
[I'm thrust into the world of Microsoft Exchange and get to learn PowerShell]

Me: I've been looking at email growth and at this rate you're gonna run out of disk space by August 2014. You really must put in quotas and provide some form of single-instance archiving.
Management: When we upgrade to the next version we'll allocate more disk, just balance the databases so that they don't overload in the meantime.

[I write custom scripts to estimate mailbox size patterns and move mailboxes around to avoid uneven growth]

Nov 2014
Me: We really need to start migration to avoid storage issues. Will the new version have Quotas and have we sorted out our retention issues?
Management: We can't implement quotas, it's too political and the vendor we had is on the nose right now so we can't make a decision about archiving. You can start the migration now though, right?
Me: Of course.

May 2015
Me: At this rate, you're going to run out of space again by January 2016.
Management: That's alright, we should be on track to upgrade to the next version by November so that won't be an issue 'cos we'll just give it more disk then.

[As time passes, I improve the custom script I use to keep everything balanced]

Nov 2015
Me: We will run out of space around Christmas if nothing is done.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: The question is not how much space... it's when do you want the existing storage to last?
Management: October 2016... we'll have the new build by July and start migration soon after.
Me: In that case, you need this many hundreds of TB
Storage: It's a stretch but yes, we can accommodate that.

[I don't trust their estimate so I tell them it will last till November with the added storage but it will actually last till February... I don't want to have this come up during Xmas again. Meanwhile my script is made even more self-sufficient and I'm proud of the balance I can achieve across databases.]

Oct 2016 (last week)
Me: I note there is no build and the migration is unlikely since it is already October. Please be advised that we will run out of space by February 2017.
Management: How much space do you need?
Me: Like last time, how long do you want it to last?
Management: We should have a build by July 2017... so, August 2017!
Me: OK, in that case we need hundreds more TB.
Storage: This is the last time. There's no more storage after August... you already take more than a PB.
Management: It's OK, the build will be here by July 2017 and we should have the political issues sorted.

Sigh... No doubt I'll be having this conversation again in July next year.

On the up-shot, I've decided to rewrite my script to make it even more efficient because I've learnt a lot since the script's inception over two years ago... it is soooo close to being fully automated and one of these days I will see the database growth graphs produce a single perfect line showing a balance in both size and growth. I live for that Nirvana.

Tip for devs (esp front end):

Sublime text (and few other inferior editors) has a plugin called "transparency" that allows your editor to be transparent.

Windows 10 powershell consoles can be made transparent.

1) Open browser
2) Open command prompt over it with 75% transparency
3) Open editor over both with 50% transparency.
4) Set editor to fullscreen, no-distraction mode to center the text (Shift+F11 in sublime)

Enjoy coding while constantly viewing the code, the browser and monitoring the cmd prompt at the same time, without having to click Alt+Tab a zillion times.

There is a couple at the table next to me in this café arguing about PowerShell and, even though it's Windows, I'm having a bit of a nerdgasm. 🤓

Background: I'm proficient at PowerShell, I was told that I got hired to my previous job (as DevOps engineer) mainly because of that skill.

Few months after I started I wrote a script to automate some processes. My boss saw the script and told me that it was too complicated, and that I should make it more simple.
Now I'm all into clean code, meaningful names, small functions.
So the code was readable and maintainable.
I asked him in what way is it complicated. He didn't know exactly. (Later I figured that he didn't know of some of the (built-in) cmdlets and functions I used.)
He raised his hand high and made a gesture and explained that I'm "that high (skill? enthusiasm?)", then lowered his hand to a lower position to mark the bottom line, then raised it up half way up and said that he wants me here - in the middle.
After that he added: "This is not Microsoft! and we don't own the 3 other buildings that can be seen from our office window" and pointed at the window.

I was surprised by his comment, I didn't know how to respond.
I've got more stories to share about that workplace.
I can't believe I stayed at that place for 1 year and 2 months.

Strange days - bash on Windows, PowerShell on Linux ...

I’m the embodiment of lazy...

I had turned on the TV in the living room earlier and put on sesame st. for my daughter to watch.

Some time passes, I’m trying to work in the back bedroom, have daughter in my arms and she’s falling asleep. I forgot to turn off the TV in the front room.

Didn’t want to get up from my desk so I just wrote up a powershell script to connect to the computer plugged into the TV and kill chrome. (The Computer sleeps after 10 minutes, and the TV shuts off after 10 more minutes of no display signal).

Script was successful as I heard Elmo laughing, then suddenly all was quiet 🤫

*plays game for 10h consecutive*
.. yeah yeah I know what you're thinking. This guy doesn't have a life. And you're probably right.

*gets hungry*
… I could really use a hamburger right now 🤔
… But the fast food tent is ~30 minutes walking distance away, and this game automatically logs you out after 30 mins inactivity...

What if I could program in some delayed input?

*jazz hand routine engages*
Hmm.. so if I do something like:
PS C:\Users\Condor> $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('abusing this chat~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('for upkeep of 10h play~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('while I get myself a hamburger~'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('sorry~');
that should work, no?

Le output:
abusing this chat
sorry

Well, even for PowerShit.. good enough, right? It gets the message across 🙃

Hmm.. let's just put an afk message instead, as I'm using the guild chat and don't want any of the members to think that I'm a freak

PS C:\Users\Condor> Sleep 1; $wshell.AppActivate('BlueStacks'); Sleep 1; $wshell.SendKeys('afk~');

.. which seems to work like a charm.. alright, perhaps I can entrust PowerShell to do that again after a 900 second delay, which should give me enough time to get that hamburger.

*comes back home*

"Logged out due to 30 minutes of inactivity."

MICROSOFT POWERSHIT, YOU'VE HAD BUT ONE FUCKING JOB!!!!

Well, guess I'll do that no-life 10+h gaming session somewhere next year again then. Thanks Powercunt!

Hey guys, do you like my terminal font ? 😍

Created a whole program from scratch in Powershell, while learning it on the fly. Developed GUI and got some friends to beta test it. Fixed bugs and finally the manager saw. After using it for not even a whole minute, he says "Looks fine, just make it in Python and we'll see".

FML
Fuck Python
Fuck this shit stupid world

Forgive me Father for I have sinned.

I pushed a half a dozen powershell scripts to a public repo, one of which contained the plain text user and password to our sendgrid test account. Which was apparently noticed by sendgrid, who promptly disabled all of our accounts, and interupting our prod communications domain 😐

I remember opening an old script file on our server for scheduled tasks, and thinking to myself; What idiot wrote this mess? It's unnecessarily complex, solving the problem in a convoluted way. And of course, not a single line of comments.

After reading it through and through many times to understand what each line did I kept repeating to myself; What an imbecile... Being this stupid should be illegal... Coding should require some sort of license to prevent idiots from doing this!

Then of course, it slowly dawned on me. I had written this crap one year before. I'm the idiot... 😐

I've commented every line religiously since then.

cw: I need a server to put my node backend

me: sure, I'll run a docker container for you

cw: nice, I've never worked with docker but I learn quickly, I'm already reading the Docker file docs

me: no wait, you don't need to learn anything, you'll be inside the container, so you only need an ssh connection and that's it

cw: this Dockerfile stuff is really complicated, it'll take me a while, but it's ok you don't have to worry, I like learning new things

me: you won't need that, just imagine it's a cloud server with Ubuntu installed, you only have to use it, I'll put node, git and ssh there for you

cw: ok got it, I'll have to learn the commands to run the docker, I'm on windows but I can use PowerShell and stuff I'll figure it out

me: ...

cw: ssh is a linux command right? does it have a push or publish option? how do you upload files there

me: ...you can use a ftp client but you'll need ssh to run the node server

cw: ok, I'm almost done with the Dockerfile, I only need to add git and nodejs, I'm starting to understand this thing...

me thinking: yeah keep doing that, you're such a crack, such a quick learner...

This son of a bitch is either a retard or is doing it on purpose and laughing at me the whole time, making my life so miserable, but I'm about to go insane with this dude, I'm proud of how I've been able to control myself, BUT ONE OF THESE DAYS I'LL LOSE MY COOL AND FORCE THIS MOTHERFUCKER TO DRINK A BIG POT OF BOILING, SALTY AND STINKING VOMIT WITH A SIDE OF STEAMING DIARRHEAL GREEN DOG SHIT WITH WHITE CHOCOLATE CHIPS WHILE I PUT MY OLD CRT MONITOR TO GOOD USE BY BEATING HIS FUCKING HEAD WITH IT!!!

Me: I need an SSL certificate.

Support: No problem. Just fire up your command line and generate one via OpenSSL.

Me: I'm on Windows.

Support: Ok, so what you do is code a Linux command line from scratch that will run in Powershell. Next, compile OpenSSL from your favorite of 60,000 versions available. Now, just fire it up and you're all set.

Me: Goodbye everything I've ever enjoyed doing in my free time.

I'm so relieved that PowerShell knows what "ls" means.

PowerShell is the slowest, most pathetic, unelegant attempt at copying bash.
The Command-Names are stupid and impossible to remember, the syntax is too awkward to put a name on it.
And holy shit how painfully slow can it be!
It feels like it's Java running in a Windows 95 VM running on a dead cow that was revived against its own will by a Cortana ghost that pretends to be GDPR-compliant.

For all the hate going around about microsoft i just wanted to list things microsoft has done a great job at (imo of course):

windows 10
powershell
microsoft office
minecraft
xbox
microsoft edge
probably more so don't hate for the hell of it.

I wanted my colleague Mathew to write a background process on running powershell scripts at random intervals, based on input files...Guess we will call it Matt Daemon

Fucking powershell.
Just make a fucking api call, and shove my json into a damn csv.
How fucking hard do you have to be 🤯

Holy shit, Powershell is powerful!

Thank you Syncex for one of the best powershell scripts ever. This literally sped up my laptop and surface :3

Hey friendly coworker with the same scripting skills as a paraplegic monkey:
Even the boss told you not to lose time on worktime trying to do spaghetti scripts, not enough?

I don’t mind helping your unpaired couples of neurones , but losing 2 days for a forgotten bracket? When it took me like 10 seconds to notice?
And if it wasn’t enough, telling that I saw it quicker thanks to my IDE?

FUCK YOU.
You’re just a mistakenly fertilised ovum

Here's one that involves Windows, Linux (at the same time!), WInZip, Python, Lua and Minecraft, sort of.

So, when I get depressed I often find that old 2011 Minecraft videos help a lot from the nostalgia boost. If its stupid, but it works, it isn't stupid. Anyways, I was thinking about how much fun it must have been to just fuck around with code and make something like Minecraft. Naturally, I got a huge code boner and really wanted to do something I hadn't in a while: binding c to a higher level language.

This time around, I wanted to try Python. C + Python seems like a good pair. I watched a tutorial and it seemed pretty interesting and simple enough but I remembered that I actually like Lua a lot better than Python, so I went to the download page of Lua.

The download is a tar.gz so I let out a sigh and start typing "WinZip" into google. But no, fuck that, I hate 3rd party decompression programs on Windows. They all just give me this eerie feeling.

"This would be so much fucking easier on Linux"...

I remember that I haven't tried the Windows Subsystem for Linux. I guess it's time, isn't it?

I read the docs of how to do it. Nice little touch, they tell you how to enable WSL from PowerShell but don't mention the GUI way to do it. It's genuinely a nice touch.

So I get everything installed and go to the app store to choose a distro. I want Ubuntu. I click the Install button...

...

... "Something unexpected happened"

Windows and their fucking useless error messages. Jesus, okay. I restart computer. Same issue. I update Windows. Same thing. Uninstall WSL. Reboot. Install WSL. Reboot. Same thing. HOLY SHIT.

Went to bed. Woke up. Tried to install Ubuntu.

"Yea ok lul i'll work this time for no reason"

Finally unzipped Lua.

You know the shit has really hit the fan, when the IT Admin in the company doesn't know what execution policy in PowerShell, means

Navigating Directories with PowerShell, coursemates staring and thinking I'm a badass hacker. Their reaction when a directory not found generates five lines of bright red jargonized line in the console and I just nod slowly as if I'm understanding something deep 😂😂

Network Security at it's best at my school.
So firstly our school has only one wifi AP in the whole building and you can only access Internet from there or their PCs which have just like the AP restricted internet with mc afee Webgateway even though they didn't even restrict shuting down computers remotely with shutdown -i.
The next stupid thing is cmd is disabled but powershell isn't and you can execute cmd commands with batch files.
But back to internet access: the proxy with Mcafee is permanently added in these PCs and you don't havs admin rights to change them.
Although this can be bypassed by basically everone because everyone knows one or two teacher accounts, its still restricted right.
So I thought I could try to get around. My first first few tries failed until I found out that they apparently have a mac adress wthitelist for their lan.
Then I just copied a mac adress of one of their ARM terminals pc and set up a raspberry pi with a mac change at startup.
Finally I got an Ip with normal DHCP and internet but port 80 was blocked in contrast to others like 443. So I set up an tcp openvpn server on port 443 elsewhere on a server to mimic ssl traffic.
Then I set up my raspberry pi to change mac, connect to this vpn at startup and provide a wifi ap with an own ip address range and internet over vpn.
As a little extra feature I also added a script for it to act as Spotify connect speaker.
So basically I now have a raspberry pi which I can plugin into power and Ethernet and an aux cable of the always-on-speakers in every room.
My own portable 10mbit/s unrestricted AP with spotify connect speaker.
Last but not least I learnt very many things about networks, vpns and so on while exploiting my schools security as a 16 year old.

TIL I can run Linux commands in Powershell. I don't know what I did. I didn't realize that I was in Powershell instead of WSL. But only to a few commands though. Can't run uname, free, top or other system like commands so far. Must be part of some Windows 10 update that I missed.

I usually start on stuff but get about 90-95% done and find that last 5-10% requires as much (time|energy) as the rest of the project.

Bloatware removal script in powershell for factory imaged systems currently.

Nearing completion now but always a few more features and testing rounds to go...

Working gui now but getting good UX takes time with winforms.

Is there any logic to powershell? I mean really?

lol I love playing tricks set a script to automatically lock account that is after its logged out jajajajajaja I love being an admin

Switched back to windows because I needed IIS for work and I did miss having a touch screen (could not get driver working on Linux).

A few gripes.

I mean, the standard "oh great, half a day downloading and updating my machine" applies.

The thing I forgot about Windows is that after everything I do it wants to restart. Updating itself forced the computer to restart several times, wtf.

Powershell (ironically) holds a shadow of bash's power

So many "power user" actions are done with a gui, dear lord give me a terminal command and a man page any day over the convoluted way to do some actions. Changing permissions for IIS was several layers of gui dialogues, where it would be a couple of commands in bash.

Sorry to be unoriginal and moan about an OS, as an end user windows is great and a lot more streamlined and arguably prettier, but as a programmer it doesn't make life half as easy as the realm of *nix

Been working in Linux server for a while, doing devOps and basic task automation with bash.

Today I have to write some .bat task for backup and moving files in Windows first time against .bat . What the hell was this people thinking when they made the .bat sintax is just awful. I understand is old but why. And tried also powershell still crap.

First rant, technically a sysadmin but getting into the nitty-gritty of programming with some things to improve my job (and hopefully moving into something more technical).

Have been doing a paid internship at my utility company. I do patch management with SCCM and sometimes the updates break. I've been using Powershell to reset the Windows update cache to make the computers work again. Unfortunately, this sometimes involves logging into machines to do some manual work and I have to notify users before I log in if they're already logged in.

Scripts can be run silently but I've spent a few weeks trying to automatically retry Software Center updates with Powershell … before realizing just today that the system center action "Application Deployment Evaluation Cycle" does indeed do the thing I've been attempting to do with Powershell for weeks now.

Wish me luck as I automate that part of the process and completely automate the sole job they gave me to do. Don't tell on me!

So i recently had to go back to windows while testing the notification feature in devRantron. Doing this only reminded me why i switched to linux 5 months ago. After having to restart my pc, reinstall c++ build tools multiple times, regedit and switching back and forth from powershell and cmd i managed to install a NPM package. Linux is <3

During Summer school (yeah I'm an idiot) I disabled this LanSchool Helper thing with a few lines of powershell script(fuck windows, havent used it since I was like 15) that allowed the teacher to see what the students were doing on their computers. Instead of finishing my failing courses I was then able to spend the rest of my time that Summer honing my programming skills.

I graduated a year late, but had easily become the best programmer that school district had ever seen 😎 And by impressing the kids sitting next to me while I browsed docs, blogs, stack overflow, and youtube - rose to be a Summer school legend.

I am a dev badass. I am legend. 😂

Why Microsoft, why.

We have our own Powershell Scripts to delete unwanted apps that are installed from Microsoft on Windows 10, like XBOX app.

I installed a new workstation for a new worker and deleted the apps with the scripts.

The Day the new worker arrived, it was my task to give him an introduction, what Programs we are using and so on.

Worker logs into machine and opens Startmenu.
All Apps that I have deleted with the scripts are back!

Why, you ask. Because Microsoft made it so, that when a new user logs in on a machine he has never been before, every single apps that has been deleted is reinstalled.

I'm searching for a method to shut this down for good.

Help is much appreciated.

So what do you guys do when you can't sleep?

I'm currently writing Powershell scripts to manage my companies office 365 because I dislike the web interface.

Adventures with house IT

I'm currently experimenting with PowerShell but my scripts won't run even though I've got every local permission. The error message indicates it's a GPO problem.
"No problem" le me thinks and calls IT hotline.
After 2 incompetent and unprofessional technicians i've still got no solution. I'm waiting for the second tech to call back because he "needed some time to get to know PowerShell" (he is a trained and certified SysAdmin).
During my call he couldn't decide if it was a GPO problem or not.
And this is just one story of their incompetence...

"curl : The response content cannot be parsed because the Internet Explorer engine is not available, or Internet Explorer's first-launch configuration is not complete. Specify the UseBasicParsing parameter and try again."

Why the flying fuck do i have to configure some BS in internet explorer to use curl in Powershell? I thought IE was finaly dying, but nope!

So with my current windows heavy workload it is with a heavy heart that I commit to learning powershell. Wish me luck

Dude, I know you want to improve your scripting skills, and I will spend an hour with you to explain 5 lines if I have to.

But damn, don’t write 25 scripts that call one after the other, mixing PS and Batch (come on, a batch for loop in a .ps1 file...) and then ask me to do it properly after that you fucking raped the console’s butthole.

Cunt.

You know what? It's pretty cool that programming is so easy that everyone can do it. Without making a mistake. Get things right on the first try, no fuckin' problem. Wanna build a program that does some cool shit? It's easier than wiping your own ass. I mean, fuck, even a baby could do it, even though a baby may not be able to wipe it's own ass? Pst. It could still write programs like nobody's fuckin' business. I don't know about you, but, whenever I have deadlines or make a deadline for myself cause I'm my own boss or somethin'... Well, I just do the work in about an hour and call it a day. Not sure why everyone cries about how 'things don't work'. Of course they work. They just don't know how to use the program correctly... Writing programs is easy shit. Wait. Nope. I was being sarcastic the whole time. Fuckin a'.

Fuck you programming. You're a dickhead. I wish I could call your mother and tell her that she should've swallowed you... but no. Can't do that now can I?

When you wanna automate shit that works correctly? You either kiss your free time goodbye or you make compromises that rely on confusing and badly written foundations like i don't know, Windows Registry, or whatevs...

If you wanna output a set of keys to a hash table? Get-Item says "I get to fuckin add in the pspath like an asshole." If you wanna use Get-ChildItem, GCI says it's a fuckin null variable. You wanna use Get-ItemProperty? Well, sort of falls under Get-Item but it's not an actual array like it appears to be and you can't select that shit even though 'you're using the right fuckin' terminology'.

But anywho, the Registry and PowerShell is an asshole. So is CSS Grid for the guy's rant that I read before I wrote this. I had a fun time learning how to get that shit working... wasn't fuckin fun. Lots of Div's in the html, retarded and repetitive values in the css file... before you know it your fuckin css file is far longer than the html is. Fuck you too CSS Grid. +1 that guys rant just fuckin' cause.

Don't even get me started on REST API, fuck you too.

- MC

FUCK WINDOWS FUCK NODEJS FUCK ANGULAR FUCK VISUAL STUDIO FUCK POWERSHELL FUCK ALL THAT FUCKIN CRAP WHY THE FUCKIN HELL IT SHOULD BE THAT HARD TO INSTALL SOME SHIT AND START WORKING LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD DO JESUS FUCKIN CHRIST I FUCKIN HATE THAT OS FUCK THIS SHIT

"Ralph" has been working on a process that updates a field in a SharePoint list and bellying aching for almost a month. Couldn't use the C# client, too hard...tried to use the SharePoint REST entry point, using C# too complex...Javascript also was overly complex. Tried to use PowerShell, that worked but could only run on the SharePoint Server and it didn't have access to the 3rd party system.

In our stand up this morning, again, he was belly aching he is still not done because of the complexity of SharePoint.

I thought "Good lord...what the frack is the problem? Surely other devs in the world aren't having this much of a problem."

Fire up google...search for an example...copy the MSDN C# example...run it...tada...updated the SharePoint list just fine. Maybe 15 minutes of effort (< 20 lines of mostly copy+pasted code).

Next stand up, I'm contemplating calling him out on the BS, but I suspect he had working code for a while. Wouldn't be the first time he has dragged his ass working on a project until folks get fed up waiting and he has an "intellectual breakthrough" and brags how all his effort was worth the time. Similar to the firefighter who starts fires just so he can 'be the hero'.

I remember the first time working with a Windows 2012 R2 server.
Of some reason I couldn't open Windows Powershell as admin and asked another Dev what to do. His response? Try restarting the server.
Can you imagine the look on my face if I told you I only worked on Linux until that point. How can you seriously make a server OS that needs restarting at all? Is it just me or is that just fucking stupid?

What do people think of powershell?

Fuck you Powershell!!

Just spent three hours debugging my node script.

Script kept becoming unresponsive after running for a while until I press some key on Powershell. Turns out it's the PS "pausing" my script until I clicked on it😣.

One thing my dev years have showed me through various systems:
The world is held together by masses of scripts. And most of them are horribly bad, unmaintainable, extremely complex and usually not replaced on requirement changes, but extended by other terrible scripts to get the desired behaviour.

Windows is based on tons of shitty batch scripts, powershell madness, WSH bullshit and VBS absurdity.
GNU/Linux is build upon trillions of incomprehensible shell scripts, heaps of python gizmo and perl mysteries.
Every complex system I've seen uses batch or shell scripts to fire up its runtime.

And it doesn't seem to get any better, so let's face it, we're doomed.

Microsoft released PowerShell for Linux. Why? They released IE for OS X way back and we all know how that turned out....

Jenkins on a Windows server where i have to use Powershell is going to make me cry today

TLDR: coworkers are worst than clients on delivery

The endless script last part, or where I want to rip the vocal chords out of my coworker’s throat.

Delivered “quickly” last Friday night as he was stressing me, because it was urgent, because he started shit I had to refactor, because I have better shit to get done.
It’s also important to note that this “senior” sysadmin wrote requirements as follows : told me orally what he needed between a gasp and another and drew me something that looked like a diagram but without real sense. I told myself -Well, let’s get this pile of cow shit together.

Anyway, it required some amount of time to put his giant shit mix of powershell and batch together, also it was quickly but it was tested and it worked on different conditions that I specifically wrote out and designed to have menus where you can’t do shit (like putting a string on a number input).

Today he comes to me and asked if it was ready and I told him it was usable. He tries it, doesn’t know how to use it, abandons it. Then he tells me he doesn’t work how “required” and after 5 Minutes on telling Shit I tested on the exact same server, he said “well my version was ok but you know I could have been more precise”

YOU INORGANIC PILE OF PIGEON SHIT. THE FUCKING SCRIPT IS WORKING, IS REFACTORED AS IT SHOULD AND YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND A CRAP ABOUT THE FUCK YOU’RE EXECUTING.

Seriously, come tell me that you can’t see what happens. I did explicit every fucking command out for you, I even bothered to put fucking Write-Host everywhere with Colors just for your fucking sake taste.

Go fuck a pillow with your biker sunglasses.

And no, the way you cut your beard doesn’t make me think you’re 15 years younger, it makes me think you’re the kind of guy I would not accept candies outside a school.

P.s.: don’t accept candies even if the guy looks nice.

Training a developer... After one year, he still doesn't understand "Update-Database"

Create a powershell command and just tell him to click on it after every git pull

Just found out that Visual Studio actually has the equivalent of Swift playgrounds - just go to View - Other Windows - C# Interactive (or F#, Python or PowerShell). My life is now complete.

I've been BSing my skillset for so long to myself, it's a veritable toolbox of mixed knowledge but no complete sets...

I wonder if it's too late for me to catch up or if I will ever actually complete any learning...

I am yet to finish learning

Html
CSS
PHP
Ruby
C#
ASM I can do i386 but not x86
VB
Pascal if you can believe
C
C++
Java
JS
Python
Powershell
Bash

My main skill is basically just remembering anything I do, including code syntax and example code fragments well enough to quote at people which makes me a lazy learner.

Do you know JavaScript ? Can you remember that == should be written like -eq ?
GREAT! You now know powershell.

How the fuck does Windows not have a zip command!? I mean there's a Powershell command but it *only* took until 2016 for that to be a thing!

Security is a joke. And people don't seem to get it. Especially Data mungers.

I've spent about half an hour trying to work out how to securely connect to power BI using PowerShell in a renewable manner for unattended access later on.

Every single example I've found seems to involve you storing $user and $password variables inside your script. If I'm lucky, they're going to pass them through ConvertTo-SecureString. And nobody talks about securely storing AD auth tokens, or using the Windows Credential Manager.

I know it's possible, but it's going to take me ages to work out how from all sorts of disparate sources...

How much do you guys use CLI and why?

I did learn a bit of terminal as well as cmd as a hobby, but now I don't use cli that much anymore, maybe sometimes for git or fixing some issues... perhaps that's because:
1. I use windows
2. I am a .Net developer

I have to say that I'm a little pissed by all this windows bashing... Can't understand all that Linux is the only OS you should use...

Have you ever tried to Programm C# without windows?!? It's really quirky and shitty if you can't use Visual Studio.

Have you ever tried to do something according to sound and producing... So you probably known something about Logic and for this case MacOS seems to be best.

I think Windows improved a lot over the time and they have done some nice things with the "new" powershell.

Don't get me wrong Linux is quite nice and you can get distros for nearly every use case but if you want your software to run by most of the people with a computer you have to develop for windows...

what's my next language to learn? So far I only know powershell. I don't need it for any big project, just some small games to learn the language. I'm thinking of python or c#.

I think it'd be cool if we put together ctf events, so people could learn bash, PowerShell, etc., by solving puzzles. It'd be a nice collaboration, and people can learn at the same time.

Starting mixing PowerShell into a C# project... Shit just got real....

Going on a object orientated software development course today.
Ive done some, not alot, im mainly powershell fanatic since im automating alot as Server admin.
If the course is good/i enjoy developing like this, i leave the army and go for "development school" at summertime ! Super excited!!

I'm a mac AND a PC! Are you? I actually quite like both of them.

My dev setup has both operating systems, with a shared mouse and keyboard (using Synergy) -> and I love it! It feels like I get the ability to do anything. There are some apps I prefer on the WIndows side and others that are fine on the mac. I use git and dropbox to share dev files between the two seamlessly.

I come from a Linux background, so I like that I can use bash on the mac, although on the PC I use Powershell mostly. I also have used the Ubuntu linux subsystem on the PC very effectively.

I was originally forced into the situation due to iPhone mobile development - now I don't mind at all!

On the mobile side I happily switch between iOS and Android all the time.

Love the way so many technologies exist to let you work across platforms so well.

Anyone else use both at the same time?

Quiz:
Wich one is Powershell, wich one is CMD?

Winforms in PowerShell....What have I got myself into??

Christe on a bike, why would anyone sane use PowerShell? I can't even run my own fucking script, because "cannot be loaded because running scripts is disabled on this system". Even tho I used the same script file literally yesterday.

So I'm just gonna use single command to change it. Easy? Well fuck no! Because no one thought that implementing something like "sudo" would be a fantastic idea, so you have to jump between two separate instances of that piecie of shit. Not to mention it takes ages to even load it.

it FUCKING annoys me like hell that in the year of 2017 powershell cannot display more than 16 colors and output unicode symbols properly!
i mean.. fuck that shit!

I think that win devs that are scared of using a terminal are not real devs. We write structured instructions every day, a terminal is just the same. If they are scared of that they should try writing code with a mouse or devote themselves to artistic painting.
BTW PowerShell sucks for typing, and bash for windows is like a travesty shell

less than a week into my new job I'm already writing shell scripts and python scripts to automate my tasks
- it's a windows machine
- Cannot install anything without admin privileges
- powershell is locked, cannot run scripts
- can't even change my wallpaper without privilages
thankfully git bash for windows runs without installation
python also runs without installation

I made a php script to generate a powershell script that performs asset conversion. The conversion tool was designed to work via command prompt but i hate using it so i switched it up to powershell and after that i had to build a powershell script because running the shell exec function failed miserably, sad part is that just about to the end of the conversion, that ran in the background for a little over 2 days, i ran out of disk space so it stopped doing anything :( w/e i at least got what i was interested in.

Been a bash person for quite some time, but my new job has me doing a lot of windows admin. I gotta say, powershell ain't as bad as I thought it would be.

You either die a POSH expert or you live long enough to become the wizard guy.

!rant from a support guy

I was tasked to migrate an Exchange 2003 server (yes, those are still used) for an upcoming Office 365 deployment. There are no direct upgrade path from one another, as far as we know

My task was to export PSTs from mailboxes. Great, a native tool exist for that in 2003 (exmerge). But only for less than 2 GB mailboxes because ANSI/Unicode! Half of our mailbox busts that limit. Oh, it seems Exchange 2007 has a PowerShell command for exporting to PST as well! But pre-SP3, that command relies on a local installation of Outlook on the server (DAFUQ), and has been superseded by another "standalone" powershell command. So I install a bogus Windows 2012 server only for that purpose, with Exchange Management Tools (which, by the way, is bundled with the Exchange installation setup and REQUIRES to have IIS installed on the target machine. Also, if you install ONLY the Exchange 2007 Management Tools and wish to uninstall them afterwards, you can't because the uninstaller wants me to select an Exchange Role to remove, which are all unchecked in my tools-only setup). Never worked, and Google-fu says that the newer Exchange 2007 New-MailboxExportRequest command seems to have removed Exchange 2003 support.

So i'm back to installing a pre-SP3 Exchange 2007. Then the older Export-Mailbox powershell command whines about 64bits and 32bit incompatiblity-- actually I ***HAVE*** to have the whole OS/software stack 32bit ONLY. Don't ask me why!

Some article I found says I could fire up an XP virtual machine for that, I go for Win 7 x86. "Sorry, Microsoft Exchange won't be installed on a workstation environment because reasons." All right then, let's go for an old Windows Server 2003 x86. Have you tried to boot this up in an Hyper-V environment where mouse and keyboard support for Windows Server 2003 are apparently optional? No keyboard AND mouse events sent to the guest machine at all.

* Sigh *, let's use a Windows Server 2008, but WATCH OUT! Microsoft has discontinued x86 support on their W2008 R2 release, so non-R2 for me. Even then, mouse event wasn't sent until I installed guest additions.

After all, export-mailbox ended up working, but that costed me two days of banging my head against the wall. (Oh, and I take internal calls inbetween as well...)

And that's why I aspire to be a programmer. Thank you for nothing, Microsoft!

I was pulling background data from a job in PowerShell, and it kept coming up short from the same, final section of data that I just KNEW should be there.

Fiddled with the primary application for hours... HOURS! Then, I checked the log. There it was in all its Glory, tee'd out to the log during job execution.

What. The. Shit.

So, it seems that, since I was asynchronously pulling data in a loop keyed to the job status and had inserted a little sleep statement in the wrong place, I'd been missing the last second's worth of data. You just couldn't tell most of the time.

Nice.

5 minutes later it was working fine with a new loop/control structure. Jesus.

Just started experimenting with docker my god this is weird running Linux in powershell

So a few weeks ago my colleague needed to generate some self signed certificates for our web application, we're working on.
I've sent him some instructions on how to do that. No big deal, few terminal commands.
The only trick was the commands were written for linux and we're using windows.
So... my colleague calls me, having some issues with certificates. He explains to me what commands he managed to execute, etc. There was also command "sudo" included.
He inputs the command to terminal and... terminal eats it?! Wtf?
So long story short he managed to install "sudo" for windows powershell terminal :D. It basically just gives you some UAC popup confirmation dialog and then executes the command.

Automate this!

I'm an aspiring coder working some chappy administrator job just to pay the bills for now. My boss found out that I may actually be more computer literate than I let on.

Boss: "I want you to make X happen automatically if I click here on this spreadsheet"

Me "X!? That means processing data from 4 different spreadsheets that aren't consistently named and scraping comparison info from the fronted of the Web cms we're using"

Boss: "if you say so.. Can you do it?"

Me: "maybe.. Can I install python?"

Boss: "No..."

Me: "what about node.js or ruby?"

Boss: "no.. I don't know what you're talking about but you're not installing anything, just get it done"

Me: "Errm Ok.."

So here I am now, way over my head loving the fact that I'm unofficially a Dev and coding my first something in Powershell and vb that will be used in business :)

Sucks that I still have to keep my regular work on target whilst doing this though!

Since early 2016 a LinuxDev at my work, pushed me (windows admin) right in the CentOS world. With some practise I had to build a infrastructure to deploy Ubuntu to development clients (laptops with stuff without windows) In perspective I had to migrate this infrastructure to my team (windows admins) and run it there as were this all the time our business. I loved powershell but for some reason I have had to learn Ruby, bash etc.. Now I am the first Admin with some pretty skills in Linux, my workplace comes without any version of Windows. I am flying with Debian, Ubuntu, redhat and CentOS. The finished work from past enabled my team and me to drop fully automated Linux Clients for our developers.

Well last weekend Windows 10 fuc*** up with the creators update and destroyed even my USB3 ports... I didn't even spend lot of my time playing with this machine... So my desk is now running arch.

That day my colleague thought, windows isn't my passion is thanked every week once for directing me in this pretty good world.

Today I am still the first Linux DevOps in my team, but still happy.

I hate that when developing on Windows I need like four different terminals. CMD, MINGW64/Cygwin/MSYS2, PowerShell. Each one has different functionality:
CMD - basic Windows commands
MINGW64 - emulates Linux terminal with frequent Linux commands and great support for Git
Powershell - access Windows COM, .NET etc.

Now there are solutions that attempt to solve this like Cmder (which is just more user-friendly ConEmu). These are console emulators which wrap all these in one window (with multiple tabs). But they are slow as hell. I have to wait like 10 seconds each time I start a terminal in Cmder, because the emulators need to run some huge startup scripts. But I just need to run one command from this one freaking folder!

Eventually I end up having like 30 different terminal windows open, each one different in functionality and each time I need to do something I must think about which terminal I need and in which folder. Furthermore I have to think about whether to run the terminal as administrator, but I usually forget that, so I have to close the terminal and reopen as admin. Why don't you just add something like su or sudo, Microsoft?

Yes this is about github, no it's not complaining about Microsoft buying it.

Have you noticed Microsoft seems to be buying/working with its competitors on something they failed to do?

MSN inferior Skype
PowerShell inferior to bash
VSTM inferior to github

And if track record continues, github might go down the shutter majorly...

My Linkedin feed is bombarded with .NET and C++ jobs.

I don't like C# and don't know C++.
I understand the demand for C++ but not .NET.

Every time I use C# or Powershell I feel weird and handicapped by Microstuff's prison.
Java, Python,Node.js and bash scripting feel so much better. Why there is such a demand for .NET devs?

<rant class="sysadmin">
Fuck you windows, haven't touched my PC in 2 months and I boot it first had to restore basic functions after that a Windows update came that broke everything in Windows, now I'm learning PowerShell to fix my broken windows and to install updates in the hope I get a working installation back.

I was remote desktop connection to a friends fairly slow W10 computer and noticed something odd, several PowerShell windows started to open up, repeatedly.

I just opened up Firefox and had logged into a gambling website.

I closed them all within a few seconds, nothing appeared textwise to popup in them.

Ran a full virus scan, it didn't find anything.

So, what was all that about then ?

Obvious this to do, is run different virus scanners to see if another one finds anything.

But was a virus/trojan, or something else more innocent ?

Not seen that kind of behaviour before, and google wasn't a lot of help..

Anyone thoughts on what was happening ?

EventViewer wasn't really much use..

I'm suspicious because it happened when logged into a gambling site, maybe that was infected.

Thoughts ?

Hello sysadmins, silly question but can I consider Python as a serious alternative to powershell/bash? I have always hidden myself from learning bash considering myself not that kind of guy hacking around in Linux. Thanks in advance

Transparant background on a terminal window or not. What do you guys think?

Part 3 of : Tales of the coworker that fucks with my scripting

I got angry. He finally gave me the whole thing he wants to do, and wrote me the working process, and I was finally happy.

I’m working on his stuff and ask him to come check something when he’s there : « oh I changed this and that but I don’t get why it’s wrong »

You useless keyboard without space bar, you know that if you charge your time overlapping my work you’re in the shit, plus you’re doing it wrong. You want to learn? Fine, either don’t ask me to do your stuff, or let’s check this outside work time, I’ll be glad to teach you. But stop losing your and my time for Christ’s sake.

I will get this shit done in 20 Minutes if you stop interrupting my fucking work and I’ve put comments, you will be able to check them so you will understand what the fuck you’re doing wrong.

Cunt.

Am I the only one who thinks cmd is better than powershell?

P.S. I do not use windows as my daily OS either, just on College pc.

Hi all. I'm brand new here. I'm not sure how I never found this site before... but, as soon as I started reading some of these clever witty comments that sound like shit I'd say on a daily fuckin' basis...? Well... seems like a good idea to introduce myself and fuckin type up some rants here. I'm - "pretty fuckin prolific" when it comes to "makin rants about dumb shit that frustrates me every day". I'm certain you all know what i'm talkin about, and though I'm sure that's relevant? It's a side point now.

I think I stumbled across this gem of a site as I was attempting to figure out how to fuckin download a file from powershell natively without having to go through a bunch of oauth bs and be able to, like, save a static link into my script/program... but no.

If I want to do all that? Then I have to learn how to automate like 20 fuckin' things into my script so it works over the internet. Wasn't really on my agenda but, fuckin guess it is now...

And you know... there's about 20 million things in VS/Azure, AND in the Google Dev Console... although I only wanted to 'download one fuckin 3 mb file... from my script...'

apparently I have to figure out how to navigate through the labyrinth of 19.999 million other fuckin' things i DON'T want to do. No google. I don't wanna fuckin do that. Can you just like, work the same way you would from the browser with a download link?

That'd be fuckin awesome. Thanks.

Nope. Tried it with github and got the same shit. Fuck you WebDAV.

As promissed.

Day #1 on THE other project. Nothing fancy, just setting up my dev env. Got a decent pc with all the required network permissions. And this time I got w10 [last year I was working there on w7 pc via rdp from another w7 laptop. Dont ask...]
of course no localadmin rights to set shit up. Downloaded all the installs, found someone who has admin rights to run them. I even managed to get admin powershell!

Ran all installers, enabled long paths support, env vars, tweak here, tweak there,... Installed git bash to at least have a taste of shell. Decided to try out wsl. Enabled the feature, didnt reboot right away.
Rebooted. 2xclick on ubuntu setup and I get an error claiming wsl is not ebabled. Wtf? Did I do it wrong? I see bash command is there now so I must have done it right. After some googling I found out that even though I can enable wsl, it doesnt work on my version of windows. It's too okd they say. Yeah, tx MS, that's very intuitive and user friendly!

Allright, my hopes to habe a decent sub-os died. Git bash it is :( but I miss tmux soooo much. Then I came across smth that caught my eye. Msys2 it's called. Apparently it's based on cygwin and has a pacman package manager! ´pacman -S tmux´ -- hippee-ka-yay motherfuckers! It's not the best terminal emulation, but it works quite allright and it has tmux. And netcat!

Banished to mouseclickerland still managed to find a good enough shell. Yayy!

So there it is. My first day's ups and downs, disappointments and discoveries.
If you know a better shell I could set up on w10, please, share

Any good productivity ideas for Powershell profiles?

I currently have a couple of aliases for frequent commands, Posh-Git import and bash-like tab completion.

1 of the many windows rants i will make since i have to use that on work's laptop.

Let's start.
20GB for an IDE? what a joke.

Seriously MS. Are you fucking retarded? You have a fuckin retarded windows store, and i need to open it 3 times for it to be functional? Fuck you.

I want to change the default browser. YES I FUCKIN WANT TO CHANGE IT, STOP FUCKIN ASKING ME 500 TIMES IF I'M SURE ABOUT IT AND DO THE THING I TOLD YOU TO DO. Fuck you.

2GB on startup? Thanks, appreciated. Miss my 250MB on my linux laptop. FUCK YOU.

Did i fuckin tell you i want to sync the onedrive? I clicked that shit to disable it and you decided to sync the fuck out of it? Fuck you.

Candy crash and other retarded games? LOL, can't say anything. The laptop is from the job, i won't bother uninstalling that shit. In any case MS would reinstall them again. Fuck you.

Fans at 100% for no reason and battery draining like it's a cold drink that drinks someone who is thirsty? Thanks MS, very helpful. Fuck you.

Powershell? Well i leave that. Whenever i remember how slow it is i want to throw the laptop of the window. Fuck you.

Notifications? Thanks, it's very good thing to spam them for no fucking reason. Fuck you.

Skype? Who the fuck told you to install it? Fuck you.

Well i won't say anything about their fuckin updates. Every one knows how retarded and piece of shit they are.

Does anyone know if Jenkins supports PowerShell files without plugin?

I know you can start a build process in the visual Studio dev console. Is there a way to start this process from a PowerShell sript? And if yes, how do I do this?
I want to/ need to learn automated testing.

> Be me
> Fresh out of school
> Do some volunteer work for 1 year before starting to work
> Start work at local hospital
> One day get assigned new task
> "We have this directory where there is a file for every employee who has a key - File contains legal stuff"
> Current naming scheme "MaxMustermann"
> Desired naming scheme "Max Mustermann"
> Task: rename every file.
> 1974 Files
> OHNONONONO.JPG
> Hol up buddy
> A repetetive automatable task?
> I know this
> Im a hackerman
> Let's write a script....

> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Python"
> No results

> I could have guessed that

> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Java"
> No Java compiler

> OH no

> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "Powershell"
> "tHe eXEcUTIon oF poWeRsheLL sCriPts Is dIsAbLeD"

> REEEEEEEE

> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "cmd"
> "YOu dO noT haAV thE rEqUiReD peRmIsSionS To oPeN tHis proGrAm"

> DAFUQ

> Wait this is windows.
> Windows ships with .NET

> *SMASHES WINDOWS BUTTON*
> "csc"
> No results

> OHHELLONO.gif

> mfw I have to rename 1794 files by hand.

( Please send help )

Hmm so powershell is pretty cool... And I use VS code not atom... What's happening?

Spent more time than I am willing to admit debugging a Windows service, had a space between the ; and the next path on the %PATH% environmental variable. Powershell called the executable with no problem.

That feeling of killing yourself when you type 'ls' in Powershell.

Making a hard switch to ubuntu on my desktop at home. Getting just a teeny tiny, tad, bit: absolutely fucking livid....

Trying to learn ansible, vagrant, and docker more in depth for both work and my personal projects. All that I’ve been doing is just spinning my wheels trying to figure out the stupid fuck-mothering quirks with running this shit on Windows. Yes you absolutely can use all of these tools on a Windows box. There’s plenty of ports, patches, and workarounds. But I have spent all day trying to build a few vagrant boxes and use ansible to set them up. Simple LAMP stack boxes on CentOS7. Nothing major... unfortunately I spent like 90-110 minutes trying to figure out why virtualbox wouldn’t run properly. Dumbass me forgot that I installed Hyper-V ages ago.

O...K.... whelp... hyperv provider it is...

Luckily it only took about 15 minutes to determine that Hyperv’s networking can’t be setup from vagrant because vagrant doesn’t know how to interact with the hyperv - vswitch. So networking config is ignored and all VMs run on default switch (NAT) which is annoying but workable.

Ran into other issues trying to stay SSH’ed into the VM. PowerShell core (6) ssh’es into the box perfectly fine, but every time I opened vi to edit configs my terminal color scheme and fonts got fucked harder than a 2 dollar hooker on nickel night.

I’m a bright-green text on black background kinda guy. However the terminal kept changing to bright-red text on white background! It was like getting skull-fucked by a minotaur.

After a while I said fuck it, let’s try putty. Vagrant was using it’s own ssh keypair for the boxes, at work on my mac. Works like a dream. Putty failed me hard and shit the bed, kept getting all kinds of keypair errors. At this point I was finished spent too long trying to make shit work correctly on this jankbox. With enough time and patience I probably could’ve figured all of these problems out. I’m certain that at least 70% of them were caused by user error. I’m known by many as the walking ID-10t.

But alas, I have no time left in the day to fuck around with shit that doesn’t work immediately for morons like myself. My only hang up for the longest time with a complete switch to Linux was gaming. But with Proton and WINE I’m comfortable with giving it the ol’ college try. (Shhhh, don’t remind me I dropped out of college...

...Thrice.)

The gamble here is that I’ll give more than 2 halves of a fuck about trying to get my games working. A Study environment and materials for certs and general training won’t be getting anywhere near my full attention.

So, at long last, I hope this attempt at a full *nix switch finally sticks!!!

👾

Just wanted to do some scripted image resizing for school in school because the teacher asked me to help her with that.
So I thought: Let's just write a tiny script. Written the script in almost no time (just iterates over all jpg's and resizes them)

30sec.

Now I tried to run it. Didn't have my laptop so I had to somehow run it on their windows PCs. At least it's windows 10, unlike other schools that still run XP and stuff so I thought it might be doable. Well guess what, nope it wasn't.

First tried to install imagemagick, that didn't work as only teacher accounts have admin and the teacher was already pretty scarred once he saw me doing stuff in powershell so I thought I'd better not ask to do this via a teacher account and mess with stuff as admin.

Next method: Installing msys2. That worked at least (after taking forever to install and having to mess with the av software to get it to run).
And there comes the next problem: pacman doesn't connect via the proxy so I can't download any packages. There is free wifi but only for teachers, and students aren't going to get access until the school finally has a faster connection because they'd (understandably) cause this connection to be constantly overloaded. I just happen to have access to this wifi network, too, because at least the guys from the IT dept know how bad using proxies under linux is. So I connect via wifi and it works. At least I thought: After running the script it yields weird errors about unsupported arguments even though the command is exactly the same I have been using for years (already checked typos twice)

Then got the idea of simply installing imagemagick on termux on android and transferring the files onto my phone.
Too bad we aren't allowed to attach our own USBs to the pcs. Luckily I got a rooted phone so I simply activate adb over network and connect to it.
After downloading the platform-tools I can't run them because of AV software. Luckily there is an option to add an exception per executable so I do that. After doing that it works.... nope it doesn't. The wifi only allows 443/tcp and 80/tcp, even for internal network devices.

So that's it. I'm simply going to upload that stuff to my nextcloud and convert it at home.

Windows, I hate you!!!

"My powershell script had a 30% success rate on all of the servers"

Should I be scared?

I just got hired at a small MSP and I’m just utterly fucking frustrated by the shitty tools and complete lack of client documentation. I want to implement tons of FOSS tools for these newbhats but they seem to like spending money on tools that only work half-assedly at best... looking at you LogMeIn!

I’ve setup Apache Guacamole a few times before and want to get each client a guac-srv setup for client’s server mgmt. or PowerShell Web Access for clients.

I want to build AWS infrastructure for clients cause we can use cloudformation or terraform to build infrastructure. But these skunk-taint licking dipsticks would rather support physical 2003 servers. If I didn’t need this job to pay my bills right now I’d be fucking gone.

But... they are very nice people.

Just technologically speaking, they eat lead paint chips for breakfast and like to piss on electric fences for the funsies.

I am in school. Talking to the dean of the program he mentioned that there is a programming class that is required. Naturally I inquire about the language in the class and he responds with Python. I am ecstatic. I love Python. I eat, sleep, and breathe Python. Class comes up, and time to buy books. I am now the owner of Windows Powershell Cookbook and Learn Powershell in a Month of Lunches. :-(

Any better terminal for vscode ? i wanna replace it with powershell !
having many errors just because my system have anaconda navigator !

did i mention scoop is a blessing?

oh and also i'm using powershell now, i guess.

Follow-up rant to my company. Today's day is fairly good, so let's talk about infra.

We're building upon an existing open-source project which is not intended to be extended (e.g. plugins).

Our backend-team somehow hacked symfony into the app, which made the actual work a little bit less annoying. But on the other side, there is absolutely no automation. Everything is setup by hand and I need to upload my sources to my dev-server and watch what files exactly are overwritten. Because if not, I accidentally overwrite core sources which will break the whole app, no matter what. If I forget what file I wrongly overwrote, I have no choice but to setup the core from scratch and apply our sources on-top, AGAIN.

The first time setup took me almost five days.
Oh yeah and the team shares one dev server, so whenever I feel like fucking with a mate, I can easily fuck up his system, since everyone has root-rights.

We're required to use windows, but our dev is linux and I am the only knowledgable linux guy. They need cheatsheets (to be fair, I need my powershell-cheatsheet).

We market the same app with some additional functionality, but we also have clients which require their own stuff. This case has never been thought-out, since for these specific clients, we also modify some core-parts. Which makes it a real hassle to add a basic new feature to that special customer.

At least our frontend is somewhat decent. Simple and without critical thinking, but it works and is decently understandable. I'll rant about that for another day, it's still tedious.

I know I won't stay there for long since I start my own stuff, but it's sad. Nothing is perfect and they _do_ want to make it better, but it's the usual "there is no time, client first" talk. On the other hand, they tell that we should be more efficient, but there is no way to be without looking back at the fundamental structure and what takes us so long.

I don't think I am able to change anything here and as I heard from co-workers, they already look for something new.

cheers

Just helped a colleague. She wanted a list of all files in all subdirectories of a folder. Easy enough, fired up powershell, ls'd everything into a text file in ~\Desktop, jobs done.
About 5 minutes later, she messaged me, telling me she closed the file without saving. So I went over. The file wasn't on her desktop. Quickly recreated the file - again into ~\Desktop but powershell found the file there.
"nah, doesn't matter I'll just overwrite it and be done with it." I thought.
So I did that, and the bloody file still didn't show up.
I had a look at where ~\Desktop is. It's on partition H:. WHO THE FUCK HAD THE BRILLIANT IDEA TO SET H: AS THE HOME DIRECTORY?!

Am a Computer Science student. And learned C, C++ and Java. And right now learning C# through online tutorials and practicing side by side.

So my question is, should I learn bash shell or not? Is it worth learning it? Or should I learn powershell scripting? Or should I don't learn either of them.

When the documentation suggests you use composer to install swiftmailer so I can use sendgrid.

Even though I can install composer as an extension and sendgrid is integrated within the portal it's down to me to work out the azure cli or is it a powershell cli or is it bash?

Echo gives kudu error, oh well if there's kudu why am I using composer?

Grrr azure you don't make it easy.

After trying to print colored text to the console using a portable Python 3 interpreter on Windows I came up with a "solution". I tried pretty much everything possible (I could think of): curses couldn't be loaded, ansi didn't work and installing libraries wasn't really an option, because it's not my device. Fuck portable interpreters and have fun with the "solution".

Def color_print(text, color):
text = text.replace("\n", "\\\" \\\"")
os.system ("powershell \"$host.ui.RawUi.ForegroundColor = \\\"" + color + "\\\"; echo \\\"" + test + "\\\"; $host.ui.RawUi.ForegroundColor = \\\"Gray\\\"")

It's slow, unreadable, only works for on Windows and requires powershell and is probably the worst piece of code I ever wrote, but it works 👍.

Ok, right now I am developing on Windows currently, and I need a simple solution to the command prompt $ powershell issue. Any recommendations for a bash-ish, terminal to use? I already use and love Hyper Terminal, but I need a cmd replacement for the behind the scenes.

Powershell, why do you have no 'man' pages?

I hate Pull request system!
Plot twist: I just put it in place in my organization because I see the benefit.
Just spent 4 hours (Note : delay was because git refuses to write to stdout and writes everything in sdterr. And couple other things) developing a helper “powershell” script for “small tasks”. It sits directly in the project and as of 30 mins ago available to all devs.
Let’s say you need to change a typo.
Normal process:
• Create a branch
• Fix problem
• Commit/push
• Create pull request (This one was NOT easy. I’ll explain why if someone is interested)
• Switch back to master to fix second bug
Script does exactly that now. ./CreatePullRequest.ps1 <tmpbranchname> <Comment>. (The target for pull request will be the original branch, not limited to master)
Now I’m trying to find what I missed. Because I missed something, 100% guarantied.

I just helped my friend setting up Laravel on her machine. The npm is giving me headache because of the fucking permission issue. WHY THE FUCK chmod DOESN'T WORK ON WINDOWS IF POWERSHELL RECOGNIZE THE COMMAND?? Then composer says that it cannot find the autoload.php. I thought it was another permission issue end up it's because composer fuck up installing on Windows. Wasted 2 hours for this shit.

Oh and the default language she uses is French. The keyboard layout is entirely different. French is totally awesome but the typos in command is getting really annoying. :(

I'm not saying Windows is bad for general use but I think it's a bad idea for developing non-Microsoft product on Windows. I don't understand how can one bear with so much shit on Windows. Most dev tools tutorials are written in Unix system so fucking get a Mac or Linux at least!

Ugh, fuck the SSRS web service. Spent all week trying to consume the service with PowerShell, doesn't make it any easier when there are undocumented behaviours. TypeName property has to be Type, for instance, when creating a search condition, TOTALLY contrary to the documentation.

Want to change the data source for a report you uploaded? Gl;hf! Back to it next week, think I'm close to having a working deployment script...so close.

i swear sometimes windows can just piss you off. like why. luvit.exe is in the SAME folder as octi.lua. command prompt sees it and runs it, but powershell apparently doesn't like that and wants to make things complicated.

also inb4 im called a total idiot

Just closed VSCode running gulp, expecting it would terminate the session as well... it didn't.

Now I have no freaking idea how to shut the PowerShell running that shit.

PowerShell - Why do you need separate modules for reading and writing YAML? Spent half a day trying to merge to GitHub projects to support ConvertFrom-YAML and ConvertTo-YAML

when you can't generate ssh key in powershell, because the -N option (Passphrase) requires an argument.
the same works in cmd.. without error....

Anyone faces Powershell errors in terminal of vscode ?
I get it because of flask and anaconda navigator's stuff !

Spend half an hour with the "git remote add ..." yada yada after setting up an git repo on a vps where I failed to create the home directory with the user and had to do it manually.

As I was against making a trash commit to win against the Schrödinger repo I begun torture myself with the PowerShell SSH compatibility.

I gave up at the end and made an commit with some libs I am going to use. After a last SSH port fight with git got everything up and running.

Lastly installed the new magical windows git credential manager and I am hoping to see some fairy dust in the next days.

Tl;Dr:
If(windows&&SSH&&git){
throw new EverythingWrongException("Git gud");
}

Okay, I hope a few people can help me with this; what are the benefits/reasons to use MS technologies? I'm talking about .NET, ASP, Windows Server, Powershell...

I've never understood it. I love Nodejs because you don't have any packages unless you ask for them. Alpine Linux is amazing! It runs on 8MB of RAM from fresh and doesn't need much more space to install.

You want .NET core? 140MB download. You're configuring database connection strings? Feel free to type in whatever you like, it'll parse and replace with some magic variables that have come from some other random file.

I was using Powershell recently, needed to set an env variable. Bash is happy with "export name=value". You want to do that in Powershell? I just googled it and found an entire 40-minute read discussing how to set env vars. Why?! It should be one command, and I don't know who thought that "Get-ChildItem" was _obviously_ referring to env variables.

It seems to me that everywhere MS has got their hands on development-wise, it inherits the typical sales bullshit. No no, you can't call them "websockets", they have to be branded "SignalR" and add tons of overhead. You can't say "disable notifications" it has to be "focus assist". I'm really surprised something as simple as a keyboard hasn't become a "varied user input device" or something of the like.

Am I alone in thinking this?

Finite State Machines are awesome! Resume from reboots and automation is possible even on older Powershell versions without Workflow support. Setting state and transitions resuming where it left off is huge for getting PC's set up. Unfortunately can reimage due to no vl reimaging rights but scripting is totally possible...and with it creating it's own scheduled task to run on startup it does what it needs, then reboots resumes and deletes the task when done.

Work as a SOE Engineer and have a lot of custom application deployments managed via PowerShell. Collegue came over today and suggested that I include a few more "sleep" breaks as newer processers run code to fast and can skip over cmdlts.

I can't even.

!rant
This morning a coworker comes to me and has been like "I've been compiling this list of all the files on our network that have x in the title for a week now"

I'm like do you want me to use a recursive Powershell script to get you that list in like 10 minutes.

The little things that make you invaluable at work because you are the sole tech guy.

!rant

The best thing out of Microsoft is PowerShell. I wish there were some linux shells which took a page out of Microsoft's book.

Fuck powershell.

How in the world can one lang have so much problems with date conversion, and chars like üöä. Its so funny how they get through just fine sometime when u specify encoding utf8 but other times it has no ides wha5 these chars are.
Honestly fuck powershell

!rant

Looking for help starting with DevOps.

Does anyone know of a site or forum where you can talk about general coding/scripting patterns rather than just asking specific questions?

Bear with me, this may be a bit longer than most posts here.

I'm a self-taught admin/tech working with one colleague (who's also mostly self taught) at a high school, managing both clients and servers.
We've been doing most things manually bit I'm looking into converting as much work as possible into more of a DevOps setup, with Powershell-scripts for multi step tasks.
I want to do this for a number of reasons. Having a script doing a number of steps would cut down on time spent on individual tasks and minimize the risk that a step is missed or, perhaps even worse, mistyped. Also it's important that I actually learn what I'm doing, why something works and why something fails.

As and example, I have a powershell-script which moves a student from one year to another (basically they have user names with a two-digit prefix based on the year they started and a suffix with two letters from their first names and four from their last names) if they need to repeat a grade.
It basically renames the account in the AD with the correct year-prefix, changes the samAccountName, renames Home and Profile-directories on disk and changes paths on the profile-tab in AD, moves the user into a new OU and security group etc.
It works as intended if the user account to be renamed exists and there's no name conflict with the new name. But I'd like for the script to validate that there's no problem with user names, source and target security groups and OUs etc. and eventually split the script up into smaller clearly defined functions for better readability.
However, I don't want someone to just write the script for me, I'd prefer to be able to discuss script flow and come to my own conclusions and solutions.